Background: the metaphor technique is something I’ve adapted from Suzette Haden Elgin‘s teachings. It’s an amazing tool for destuckifying.
It’s also how I discovered that I work on a pirate ship and defeated the hackers. And cured my fear of being beautiful.
More recently we turned my dreaded Tickler file into an Iguana Watcher’s Guide And doing taxes happens in a Secret Money Cave where I visit my treasures and make Tribute to the lands that allow me access to their fair harbours.
Metaphor Mouse to the rescue!
Unpacking the metaphor. Here’s the situation.
I really want a sabbatical. As became clear on Official Pirate Queen Holiday last week.*
* Reassurances! Not a sabbatical from blogging! I’ll still be here, no matter what else happens. Okay?
But I have big issues with the word. So it has to be called something else.
Actually, I’ve kind of already decided that I’m going to call it my Skabbatical.
Because that’s hilarious. To me. And because it automatically comes with its own (extremely excellent) soundtrack.
Still, I could use some help rewriting my screwed-up personal associations with the word “sabbatical” — in order to discover something more appealing.
Not to mention something that might actually happen.
To the Skabbatmobile, Metaphor Mouse! And let us all sing … I am Metaphor Mouse!
Unpacking my CURRENT relationship with this.
(SABBATICAL = ?)
What are the qualities, aspects and attributes of the thing that isn’t working (including what *is* working — if anything)?
[+ pipe dream]
[+ unrealistic]
[+ imaginary]
[+ never going to happen]
[+ exists only in the future and in fantasy]
[+ unfulfilling]
[+ distant]
[+ relaxing]
[+ desired]
[+ impossible]
[+ unachievable]
[+ out of reach]
[+ productive]
[+ something you have to earn]
[+ carrot and stick — except that you never reach the carrot]
[+ irony]
[+ pleasurable]
[+ happy fantasy]
[+ fun to plan]
[+ expectations]
[+ hopeful]
[+ possibly also disappointing]
Reminds me of?
Well, in a way it’s like Disneyland. Or an amusement park.
The way you build it up when you’re a kid, only to discover that it’s hot and sticky and full of annoyances.
Like summer vacation or recess.
You yearn for something but it’s the yearning that is more fulfilling than the thing.
So maybe it’s like being in prison and having elaborate fantasies about escape.
Yes, there is definitely some aspect of imprisonment to it (again, for me).
You know what? It’s like imagining winning the lottery and then not buying a ticket.
Learning more about my IDEAL metaphor (X = ?)
What sort of qualities, aspects and feelings does the thing I want contain?
[+ achievable]
[+ do-able]
[+ structure]
[+ planning]
[+ fun]
[+ surprising]
[+ flow]
[+ results]
[+ process]
[+ transformation]
[+ expectations]
[+ hopeful and joyful]
[+ relaxing]
[+ trust]
[+ creativity]
[+ in a state of creative making-stuff-happen]
[+ yoga and Shiva Nata]
[+ play!]
Reminds me of?
It’s like planning a vacation.
But actually planning it. Not sitting around and saying, “Oh, wouldn’t it be lovely to go to Turkey again” and then not doing anything about it.
Back to the lottery thing … I don’t have a lottery fantasy because I a) have a functioning, profitable business, and b) recognize the variety of different ways that financial goodness can come into my life.
In other words: there is an awareness of options. And the fact that I have them.
Which is, in a sense, exactly how I’d like to feel about time. And that’s what we’re talking about here, really. My relationship with time.
Having that sense of PLENTIFULNESS and SPACIOUSNESS in relation to time.
So it’s about Very Interior Design, related to a clearly defined project.
Huh. Is it like … adding another income stream but with time?!
No. It’s more than that. It’s like inventing a holiday. Both in the sense of vacation, and in the sense of holy day and in the sense of a big crazy party.
What do you think, Metaphor Mouse? Are we at metaphor?
Here’s what I know about going on Skabbatical.
It’s for me! Not for anybody else.
Which means it gets to be infused with me-ness.
It has to be fun. And silly.
And have costumes, of course.
It has to have clear starting and ending dates, entry and exit points. Rituals.
It has to be an adventure. It has to have a starting here and ending there. In a way it’s a journey, though that word is also really too loaded for me.
A progression, let’s call it. A progression that’s also a pirate adventure. A sailing.
Are we comfortable with this one?
It needs work.
But you know what? I’m feeling a lot better about the “hey, this could actually maybe happen” part.
So I’m calling it good for now.
What needs to happen next?
I want possible dates. And possible plans.
With a giant permission slip to come up with whatever ideas I come up with, and not to have to trounce them.
Even if most (or all) of them turn out to be ridiculous and untenable.
I need some negotiators to show up and help me have conversations with my monsters.
And I totally need a Skabbatical t-shirt from my designer.
Would you like to play? Comment zen for today.
You are more than welcome to think out loud about stuff you’re working on, related or not related.
Or to celebrate with me and/or come up with Skabbatical lyrics (because it is also a ska band).
As always: we let people have their own experience, and we don’t give advice (unless someone specifically asks for it).
To the Skabbatmobile!
Follow
Oh, Skabattical! Will you take up skateboarding and wear your pants too low? With boxers!
You must have knit cap!
Um, I don’t think I have anything helpful other than:
Here is a Big Ass permission slip.
You are officially permitted to create a Skabattical holiday or sailboat or…(fill in the blank with goodness and time).
Skabbat shalom!
(oh, your Skabbat(ical) could have it’s own bread! And it’s own greeting!)
.-= Tara´s last post … Happy Anniversary- =-.
Havi, I’ve no brilliances to offer just yet, except that I’m holding a container for your skabbatical to pour itself into…May it happen in perfect timing, and may creating it be a transformative, joyful, healing process for you.
Love, Hiro
I didn’t have anything to say (but that wasn’t stopping me – I was going to say SOMETHING!) until I saw Tara’s and Hiro’s comments:
When I read Tara’s I thought — ohmy, a boat – a boat ride –that’d sure be a way to begin – or end a Skabbatical (love, love, love the word) — or even a place to HAVE one!! Hmm…I think I need a boat-connected Skabbatical of some kind…
And then Hiro’s message – about holding a container for your Skabbatical — wow! That’s divine – huge love!!
Now I’m wondering what kind of crown you’d wear during your Skabbatical…
thanks for inviting us into your process — fun and mind opening!!
.-= Square-Peg Karen´s last post … I See Dead People =-.
I love the word “Skabbatical.” Perfect! I am just coming off of my own monthlong “Skabbatical,” which I also referred to as a “Staycation” (hip word o’ these economic times). I read a lot. Watched a lot of documentaries. And–sound the victory alarm–managed not to check email every day. Or even be on the computer, most days. It was brilliant.
So I join the chorus of well-wishing on your Skabbatical. For some reason, I envision it as involving skipping, perhaps hop-skotching over numbers drawn in sidewalk chalk.
Pretty much, I think it could be a great skipping skotching Skabbatical.
I woke up from a crazy dream where I was at a Havi retreat where we had to make presentations. And I thought mine was fine and ready until I saw everyone else’s beautiful presentations (we were congregated in the back room of a pub) including someone who had done stop motion with this image made out of paper transforming and then transforming again. Then it became a sports day. Weird. For the record, this is not how I envision a Havi retreat. I think my subsconscious was trying to convince me a Havi restreat wouldn’t be that great as I’ve been longing to go and not yet in a position to afford one. Nice try subconscious. I only share to get a laugh.
However, the bonus side effect of having a strange dream about you was that, upon waking I had the sudden thought seize me about it being a Sabbattsicle. (Or perhaps Skabbattsicle).
You know in summer when you got those enormous popsicles and you had to take some focused time to really eat that baby otherwise it was going to melt? So, yummy, summery, vacationy, a focused project, but not in a bar chart kind of way. Plus (bonus metaphor) some of the brands had sticks that you could collect to win prizes.
.-= Violet´s last post … Waiting for Wendell =-.
Ooh, I love the possibilities of Skabbatical! If I were going, it would definitely involve yummy beer from Ska Brewing Company.
Metaphor Mouse might have fun playing with their “Legion of Ska” heroes & villains on their website: http://www.skabrewing.com . Watch out for the evil conglomerate president Pinstripe, who likes to cover small brewers in ketchup and eat them for breakfast!
.-= Dawn´s last post … How are we doing July 4th Check-in =-.
Do you need a Vespa to go on Skabbatical?
My brain went “skabbatical? Like, a ska-bat? Awesome!” and it imagined a cute little bat with a zoot suit on. Now my brain has “Zoot Suit Riot” on loop.
.-= Holly´s last post … I Want to Write =-.
Today marks the half-way point for my own minimum year-long “skabbatical”. How did I name this for me? Because I quit working for the federal government to spend a minimum of a year working only on things I like, I decided that it would be the “no-cube allowed year”.
When older people from my then work learned about my grand plans to quit it all, move to Australia for love and spend a minimum of a year as far away as possible from any fake grey walls, I would often get weird looks. When they asked “Why?” I would simply reply “I have just decided I’m retiring early. Very early.”
Hey, I heard about that band Skabbatical…
I heard it was a Ska band…
But it’s really just one guy!
@jon – a Vespa is exactly what is needed. You are right.
@Marie-Pier – No Cube Allowed is a very good name. I approve! Also early retirement sounds like as good an explanation as any.
@Dawn – I didn’t even think of how Skabbatical has to come with its own beer. But of course!
@Violet – yeah, nice try, subconscious. 🙂
I love the idea of popsicles. And sticks. And hopscotch.
You are all marvelous.
Brain is spinning. Too much to think about. But it’s really good. Thank you.
My Scrabble self never wanders far and I love words so I started with dictionary and discovered the Latin, Greek, and Hebrew root: “a ceasing” Delight in imaging The Pirate Queen ceasing shipwork that’s at it’s root just not Havi, and the ship sailing into unexpected goodness. Then I wonder how I can get myself into that sort of sustainable ship.
No clever way to say this, and it wasn’t my thought anyway. A Presbyterian friend called to talk about the Sunday sermon to live the Jubilee life afloat in a world awash in fear and limitation. Something in that for me . . .
Okay so I am always surprised at the mirror you provide me. I was to have a vacationy weekend (you had vacation too)but it changed to not being me all alone and also having to work some and so it was different but it was still all vacationy and my intention of inquiring about what needs to happen next actually came through loud and clear and now,.. well,.. here I am.
So It happened like this. I got hit by a huge FAT freight train. It slammed into me while working at my dog grooming job. It was the intention train.
Intention:why are you still grooming?
Me: the money
Intention: and,….
Me: Ohmygosh I am not grooming for any reason other than the money anymore. And If I were to list the pros and cons about grooming, the only pro would be money, (and maybe missing my favorite cute dogs and their awesome parents) and there would be this huge HUGE list of cons and reasons to stop grooming all of which would make my life better and more enjoyable if they didn’t exist in my life any longer.
Intention: Okay, so now what?
Me: I have to quit grooming.
I have to create a plan and quit grooming.
Now mulling it over it becomes evident that this may not be the best moment to just up and quit. (is it ever?) but I know now that it is time. the last few weeks have felt like I have been thrown from a moving vehicle and I’ve been skidding across the pavement on my butt until I come to a halt, and now I have come to a halt.
So here I am up to my elbows in a studio remodel, and vet bills, and other stuff, and now it’s time to quit. Deep breath,….
As I continue the mulling I realized today I am not being asked to quit. I am being asked to remodel my life. Every aspect, every inch. I’ve been feeling it for a long time now and here it is, and whoa! So I am being asked to let go of the old and then totally prepare for the new. let go of the old job that hurts and stresses me to make room for the new job which helps people feel better and is way nicer to me. but also let go of all the junk that has accumulated in my home (where my grooming buis is) and create a home that supports my relaxation and restoration so I can be prepared to work with people. Also adjusting my own practice time and my own self care rituals so I am at my best to provide what my clients need.
In the process, my family will benefit from the remodel. because they will get the care they need, as a natural result of me getting the care I need.
In this process I need to keep my priorities strait so this business does not take over my life like the last one did.
Huge vacationy epiphany. whoa. Tall order. here goes.
@Havi — Skabbatical! I love it! Why, the soundtrack alone will be glorious.
@Trish — Wow. Sending love and strength to you. I admire your clear-hearted courage!
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … The trouble with “middle vision” =-.
O I do hope Metaphor Mouse can still do freelance work on the side, (he seems the moonlighter type) because I need to borrow him! Or one of his minions. assignment: find a metaphor for my life situation right now.
I am percolating a skabattical pirate chapeau for you and yours. It may only be a metaphorical chapeau, though, we’ll see.
Also, Captain Jean-Luc Picard has a few words for you: “Permission granted. Make it so.”
I’ll add gigantic love to that.