very personal adsPersonal ads! They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.

Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.

And now it’s my Sunday ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!

Let’s doooo eeet.

Thing 1: refuah shlema* for my poor computer.

Here’s what I want:

My beloved laptop had a heart attack on Thursday evening.

It is now at the Apple store, undergoing various complicated operations.

And I won’t have it until Friday. At least, I hope I’ll have it Friday. Because then I’ll be in New Mexico for two weeks.

Anyway. I want healing and safe recovery (both of the poor pooter and of the information on the hard-drive, yes?). Or another perfect, simple solution.

We have a complete back-up of everything through Toozday evening, so this is not a CRISIS. But I would like this to get resolved with speediness and ease. And either way, what I’m really asking for is the ability to keep getting done what needs to be done, remain hopeful, and not commandeer every computer in sight.

* Literally: a whole healing, complete recovery, full wellness. Colloquially: may you get better!

Ways this could work:

Maybe it will turn out that computer-sharing is the way to go and I’ll never go back to having my own. It could be like email sabbatical! Though I find that pretty hard to imagine.

Maybe another computer will miraculously show up to rent or use.

Maybe things can work out much more easily than I can currently imagine.

Or …?

My commitment.

To do what I can to get better at trusting that yeah, things work out.

To take this in good stride. Or, if I can’t, to be sweet with myself about the fact that I’m falling apart completely.

To do some writing about my relationship with technology … see what turns up.

Thing 2: timing!

Here’s what I want:

So much needs to happen this week.

I have a HAT to write (a Havi Announces a Thing page). And a class on copywriting to teach, how convenient!

Preparing for teaching at the Writer’s Retreat in Taos. And a million other things.

All without a computer. Hilarious!

I don’t know how things can fall into place, and happen in good timing with grace and smoothness, but that would be pretty awesome.

Ways this could work:

Hahahaha. I have no idea.

But I’m okay with being surprised.

My commitment.

I will do crazy amounts of Shiva Nata to untangle some patterns and start writing new ones.

I will ask for help.

I will laugh. A lot.

Thing 3: simplicity

Here’s what I want:

At the moment, most of what I’m working on, both in terms of internal stuff (Very Interior Design) and external stuff is all being complicated by … well, complications.

Actually, I suspect that I am making things more complicated than they need to be.

So what I’d really like this week (and in the weeks to come) is some clarity related to cutting to the chase, and where this is needed.

Not the shortcuts that come from avoiding the process that needs to be experienced.

The shortcuts that were always there but magically appear when you clear out a lot of junk.

Ways this could work:

Obviously I’ll be using Dance of Shiva for this one. Because that’s the best thing for showing you what your stuff looks like, and bringing the options you couldn’t see before right in front of your face.

And I can make it my theme/intention for writing and yoga and various other things that I practice.

My commitment.

To be receptive to the idea that simplicity is not cheating. Interesting.

To play around with different ways that things can be simple.

To look for meaning and elegance in simplicity.

To take notes about this new relationship.

To go easy on myself if I can. And to notice that I can’t if I can’t.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

To update y’all on what’s happened since last time.

I wanted support with projects and, while I’m definitely still working on that, progresses were made.

Writing about the Rally was super helpful. And things are moving.

I also wanted resolution to a sovereignty issue.

And that was super interesting. Because it got resolved quickly and easily. And instantly another one showed up. And another one.

Basically the whole week was interacting with the Hydra of sovereignty challenges.

I’m pretty sick of it. But I’m also getting way better at it. Which was kind of the point.

And I wanted time for projecting. That did not even slightly happen. But other things happened. So I’m going to have to rethink that ask and see what comes from it. A very interesting week, in hindsight. Stupid hindsight.

Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.

  • Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

What I’d rather not have:

  • The word “manifest”.
  • Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
  • To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given advices.

Wishing love and good things for your Very Personal Ads! So glad to have everyone doing this with me.

The Fluent Self