Personal ads! They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my Sunday ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!
Let’s doooo eeet.
Thing 1: refuah shlema* for my poor computer.
Here’s what I want:
My beloved laptop had a heart attack on Thursday evening.
It is now at the Apple store, undergoing various complicated operations.
And I won’t have it until Friday. At least, I hope I’ll have it Friday. Because then I’ll be in New Mexico for two weeks.
Anyway. I want healing and safe recovery (both of the poor pooter and of the information on the hard-drive, yes?). Or another perfect, simple solution.
We have a complete back-up of everything through Toozday evening, so this is not a CRISIS. But I would like this to get resolved with speediness and ease. And either way, what I’m really asking for is the ability to keep getting done what needs to be done, remain hopeful, and not commandeer every computer in sight.
* Literally: a whole healing, complete recovery, full wellness. Colloquially: may you get better!
Ways this could work:
Maybe it will turn out that computer-sharing is the way to go and I’ll never go back to having my own. It could be like email sabbatical! Though I find that pretty hard to imagine.
Maybe another computer will miraculously show up to rent or use.
Maybe things can work out much more easily than I can currently imagine.
Or …?
My commitment.
To do what I can to get better at trusting that yeah, things work out.
To take this in good stride. Or, if I can’t, to be sweet with myself about the fact that I’m falling apart completely.
To do some writing about my relationship with technology … see what turns up.
Thing 2: timing!
Here’s what I want:
So much needs to happen this week.
I have a HAT to write (a Havi Announces a Thing page). And a class on copywriting to teach, how convenient!
Preparing for teaching at the Writer’s Retreat in Taos. And a million other things.
All without a computer. Hilarious!
I don’t know how things can fall into place, and happen in good timing with grace and smoothness, but that would be pretty awesome.
Ways this could work:
Hahahaha. I have no idea.
But I’m okay with being surprised.
My commitment.
I will do crazy amounts of Shiva Nata to untangle some patterns and start writing new ones.
I will ask for help.
I will laugh. A lot.
Thing 3: simplicity
Here’s what I want:
At the moment, most of what I’m working on, both in terms of internal stuff (Very Interior Design) and external stuff is all being complicated by … well, complications.
Actually, I suspect that I am making things more complicated than they need to be.
So what I’d really like this week (and in the weeks to come) is some clarity related to cutting to the chase, and where this is needed.
Not the shortcuts that come from avoiding the process that needs to be experienced.
The shortcuts that were always there but magically appear when you clear out a lot of junk.
Ways this could work:
Obviously I’ll be using Dance of Shiva for this one. Because that’s the best thing for showing you what your stuff looks like, and bringing the options you couldn’t see before right in front of your face.
And I can make it my theme/intention for writing and yoga and various other things that I practice.
My commitment.
To be receptive to the idea that simplicity is not cheating. Interesting.
To play around with different ways that things can be simple.
To look for meaning and elegance in simplicity.
To take notes about this new relationship.
To go easy on myself if I can. And to notice that I can’t if I can’t.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
To update y’all on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted support with projects and, while I’m definitely still working on that, progresses were made.
Writing about the Rally was super helpful. And things are moving.
I also wanted resolution to a sovereignty issue.
And that was super interesting. Because it got resolved quickly and easily. And instantly another one showed up. And another one.
Basically the whole week was interacting with the Hydra of sovereignty challenges.
I’m pretty sick of it. But I’m also getting way better at it. Which was kind of the point.
And I wanted time for projecting. That did not even slightly happen. But other things happened. So I’m going to have to rethink that ask and see what comes from it. A very interesting week, in hindsight. Stupid hindsight.
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
What I’d rather not have:
- The word “manifest”.
- Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
- To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given advices.
Wishing love and good things for your Very Personal Ads! So glad to have everyone doing this with me.
Wishing you computer help. That sounds stressful 🙁
There must be some peeps in Portland who can help?
Sending you light ~
Amy Martin
.-= Amy´s last post … What Thai Masseuses Know About Marketing- Sing It! =-.
Joining you in wishing refuah shlema for your laptop!
My ask: This week, I want to find my way back into flow with my dissertation proposal. The vision is of me happily reading, writing, and thinking, thinking some more, reading more, and writing with energy, inspiration, and contentment. I want to work my way into this vision.
How this can happen: I need to be willing to sit with the stuck and the scary. I need to be willing to let go of the belief that I need to know what I’m doing, to know how things are going to go, before I can even begin.
That’s what I can work on in the soft. In the hard, I need to create the time and the space for this work. I need to make it a priority, rather than that thing I know I should be doing that I hope I still have energy for at the end of the day after I’ve done everything else I’m supposed to be doing. Um. Yeah. Ahem.
My commitment: Fifteen minutes a day, at a minimum, just to make sure that I stay connected to the work. More than that, probably, on many days, but for at least the next week, I commit to at least working those daily fifteen minutes.
I also promise to be kind and compassionate with myself, and to ask myself what kinds of little treats and nourishments would be most helpful, and I will do my best to give myself those things.
Scary stuff! Hopefully, by this time next week, I’ll be back in the flow, and perhaps it will feel just a little bit less scary.
Fair winds to all your VPAs, and thanks for being here!
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … The trouble with “middle vision” =-.
refuah shleimah!
in a moment of commenter-mice synchronicity, i also had a moment of cutting to the chase-ness following a shiva nata session: i wanted to know what i had to do to let myself enjoy the process of my life (the vision i had from an earlier shiva nata session was of a bird in flight, and i realized that *i was already flying* and *didn’t have to do anything else but realize that*. amazing). anyhow, it came to me that i didn’t necessarily have to probe and analyze and involve myself with anything and everything that i felt to be holding me back. instead, i could simply…move on. cut the patterns some slack, let them drop away, and just…let go.
so we’ll see. but simple might very well be elegant.
anyhow, my vpa:
#1: my birthday week
my ask: to really get that turning 33 is not the end of my life. i mean, i sort of get that, and what i’d really like is to see this year as just so much amazing potential. and to be easier on myself about aging/ getting older/ feeling a little out of step with my peers/ owning my own life, and other birthday issues. so: lightening up and finding a way to deal with feeling youthful and older simeltaneously!
how this could happen:
it just could! (always my favorite possibility)
heroes and gurus and lessons from lovely people could help point the way forward
i could do shiva nata as a way to listen to my own guidance more clearly
i can make a point to ask for Divine wisdom through daavening, yoga, etc.
i could, theoretically, lighten up! and try and see ways that this isn’t a crisis, and maybe everything i need to know and do is already here for me
my commitment:
to engage in some self-guiding practices this week
to be open to insight and lightening up
to remind myself to appreciate myself, what i’ve done, and what i can do
ask #2: professional growth
this is kind of a catch-all. i’m finishing up a professional development conference in which i’ve gotten remarkably little accomplished and am starting to panic. so, i’m asking for a sustained burst of creativity and focus to help me design a really excellent curriculum for my classes next year.
ways this could happen:
it just could.
i can ask for help from mentors here.
i can stop surfing the net! and use that as a reward for sustained work. (you know, 15 minutes on, 5 minutes off, something like that.)
i could do shiva nata to release those creative brain cells. (for some reason, they don’t seem to respond that well to stress and panic! who knew? 🙂 )
my commitment:
to set standards of enoughness for the rest of the day today.
to use surf time as a reward for effective work.
to do shiva nata when i get home tonight to see what shakes up.
with good wishes for all of us!
Also wishing wellness to the laptop. And your week of things-to-be-done. I hope it’s a smooth ride.
Thing 1: Calm (& thus SLEEP)
Here’s what I want:
So much is happening this week. Dentist. Seeing Family. Exam Results for my Degree (arrrrghhhh). Writing a Novel. Revising the last 2 years of University course material.
I need sleep. I was awake at 5am (21.5 hours of solid wakefulness) and I couldn’t sleep. Too much hard/worry/anxiety.
I’d like for this week to be full of positivity and potential- of light and laughter. I’d like it to be smooth.
I’d also love it if my other half could contact me during the week to say he’s safe and well after the 15-odd hour flight.
Ways this could work:
-sigh- I could do well in my exams, pretty please?
I.. could laugh no matter what the outcome?
I’m open to suggestions..
My commitment.
To go to bed if/when I do feel tired.
Dance.
Pay attention and play with the things I’m learning at Sovereignty Kindergarten.
I will connect with friends throughout the week – in order to gain laughter and smiles and support.
Thing 2: (kind of related) To be content with my exam results
Here’s what I want:
I get my exam results toozday morning.
I’m scared and worried and anxious.
I wnat to be able to tell my family good news. I don’t want to dissappoint.
I want to have done really well in Developmental and the Stats paper; because I know I struggled with Social. I would love anything in the range if a 2:1. I need an overall of a 2:1 or higher to stay on track.
This is so important to me. I need support regardless of the results.
Thus I also need to ask for the strength and sovereignty to tell my grandparents, who weren’t that supportive about last years results (though I was happy with them).
Ways this could work:
I could do well in my exams, pretty please? At least no worse than last year?
I.. could laugh no matter what the outcome?
I shall take breaths and meditate and send the event Reiki. I shall map out alternatives in case I don’t do well – I can plan for next years exam during these holidays.
My commitment.
To connect with myself.
To breathe.
To reach out.
To get creative when I can’t sleep.
To visualise being happy with the results.
Lots of good wishes for everyone’s asks.
.-= Rose´s last post … Personal Notes- Vulnerability in Space =-.
*Steps back into waters of VPA-age*
My ask for the week:
I want to find ways to become less isolated.
How this could happen:
I can start making my blog visible
I can reach out to people online
I can email the person from the writer’s group I’ve been looking at going to go (and maybe even go *gasp*)
My commitment:
There’s definitely a pattern here that thinks is better/safer to be alone – shiva nata, journalling and be willing to listen to what comes up
Consider the qualities of the people I’d like to interact with
Struck by the thought that “simplicity is not cheating”…I’ve always thought that simplicity was the hallmark of doing things the right way. That if I could clear out all my “stuff”, simplicity would abound. So for me it’s not so much cheating as a goal just out of reach.
My Big Ask…
OK, really to big and hard to put out on the web. But I need 1. the problem to get resolved; 2. a huge of amount of luck and/or fairy dust and/or grace from the Universe so that the problem doesn’t get dramatically worse before I’m able to take the steps to resolve it; 3. to be OK with dealing with what caused this problem and also what I need to do to fix it.
How this could happen:
I’m pretty clear on the steps to getting the problem itself fixed. In terms of luck/fairy dust/grace: I have no idea.In terms of being OK, giving myself permission to be OK is key. Lots of breathing. Doing other things to help myself feel better…journaling, housework, yoga, gardening. Changing the problem from a problem to be fixed to a puzzle to be solved.
My Commitment:
To breathe.
To be grateful for the grace/luck/fairy dust when it happens.
To notice when I’m not giving myself permission to be OK.
Havi, wishing a miraculous recovery for your computer. May the perfect solution arrive at your doorstep with the greatest of ease.
My VPA today is for harmony. Inner, outer, and in the relationship between my inner and outer worlds.
My commitment: To create and shape it through mindful engagement with everything that shows up in my life. To ask for and be receptive to help from all dimensions. To fill my body with qualities of joy, harmony, resilience, acceptance and willingness.
Wishing you all the miraculous fulfillment of your VPA’s this week. And a truly beautiful Sunday!
Love, Hiro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Going Away =-.
Here’s my VPA for the week:
What I want: whatever it is I need to deal with the sovereignty/shoe issue that has suddenly come up.
How this could work:
– I could make an obnoxious “Haters to the Left” post.
– I could remind myself that people vary and try not to take casually-thrown shoes so personally.
– The other party could stop throwing the shoes 😐
– I could find a sovereignty crown somehow.
My commitment:
– To learn more about this whole sovereignty thing…
Update on previous VPA:
The cleaning was accomplished, to an extent anyway. Many thanks to everyone who reassured me that having a messy house does not make me a terrible person.
What I want:
To lighten up. About pretty much everything. To stop taking everything so seriously and to stop assuming the worst (or feeling the need to prepare for the worst).
Ways this could work:
I’m not really sure, which is part of the reason I’m in this stuckness, although I have been here before and gotten out of it, so maybe some realizations about what’s important and what is relevant but not the end of the world.
I could just feel better periodically, and when I do I could notice those times until they become more intentional instead of accidental.
I could stop trying to make myself feel like being here is some sort of moral failing and at a bare minimum be here if this is where I need to be right now, until some point at which I’m able to shift into a new and better place.
My commitment:
To notice. And continue noticing.
To use even though sentences.
To try to fill myself up with me, not with cookies and stress and “ohmygod this person is going to hate me because I’m not standing on my head juggling knifes while knitting a quilt…” (I can’t make that make sense but, hey, it’s a VPA, right?)
Yoga. Shiva Nata.
Update on previous:
The person forgot and dropped the issue. Which was weird becuase I was a little disappointed in not getting to confront them. Not to breathe fire but to eliminate that feeling of evil entity behind the curtain that I can never access and which randomly affects my life but which I cannot interact with. So I got what I wanted and felt relieved but I want to review that ask because, well, I don’t know. Was what I wanted what was best for me or was it a way to avoid having to practice being sovereign? Confusing.
I hope your dear laptop recovers soon! And well wishes and positive vibes to everyone’s VPAs.
What I want: Connection–to establish a network for myself so that I can have coffee, playdates, enlightening conversation, with people face-to-face and not be so dependent upon my online communities.
Ways this could work:
-I could create that mom group I’ve been thinking about for over a year.
-I could join a writer’s group
-I could make more appearances at the story times
My commitment:
-Talk to at least one person at each story time
-Email the mom I met last week
-Devote at least 10 minutes a day growing my mom group
-Find a local writing group and email the leader
.-= Alisha´s last post … Selection Sunday =-.
Oh, computers. We love you! And you drive us batshit-crazy! I send prayers in ones and zeros for a swift and elegant solution. Although maybe this is a perfect time to take an iPad for a test spin? Just sayin’!
UPDATE: Somehow, everything that needed to get done last week did. The imperative stuff, anyway. And I ended up at the start of a new week, non-exhausted, so all good, and thank you, magic fairies of awesomeness!
THIS WEEK:
What I want: Clarity/help resolving this support issue that’s been weighing heavy on my heart and brain for months now.
Ways this might work: I could get down with leaving em immediate replacement support. I could morph the current situation into something that worked for me. Shrink could help me with decision/solution. Epiphany? Other kind of intervention from magic fairies of awesomeness.
My commitment: Nei Kung daily. I Ching, as necessary. Recognize the worry as it arises, then move on to something else.
BTW, I’m having problems finding that excellent decision-making post that someone somewhere wrote and Havi linked to. If anyone knows what I’m talking about, can you do me a solid and reply in the comments? Very much appreciated!
.-= communicatrix´s last post … Frrrrriday Rrrrround-up! =-.
@Alisha – I like how specific your commitments are. Mine are always all, “Oh, I guess I’ll think about it.” Action steps! AWESOME.
@Lindsay – oh interesting, something similar happened to me this week — getting all geared up for a confrontation that never actually happened. It was a sovereignty win and also really weird and unexpected at the same time. Huh.
@Susan – so sorry to hear about the shoes. That’s really hard. And glad that the cleaning happened in a way that felt good. Excellent.
@Hiro – 🙂
@gaye – wishing you as much grace/luck/fairy dust as you can handle, and that it comes in good timing.
@jane – hi, love. Hooray for the waters of VPA-age!
@Rose – wow that’s a lot going on. Wishing good things for all of it.
@jessie – happy 33 and mazal tov. I thought I would not like 33 at all and was pleasantly surprised by how much room there was to not have to be a grown-up, but to have a sort of … steadiness. Anyway, wishing you ease with all of it.
@Kat – that’s a LOVELY commitment. Beautiful.
@Amy – thank you, my dear. Appreciated!
@communicatrix – my love! thank you for the ones-and-zeros prayers.
Was the decision-making post Victoria’s elegant No-Brainer Scenario, by any chance?
I’ll try to think if there is another one.
Wishing you clarity and ease and spaciousness with the decision-making.
Mwah!
(Also: ignore if not relevant … when I have tough decisions, I hire Hiro to look at the decision and the situation clairvoyantly. She never says what to do (which I appreciate) but she explains what she sees happening in different situations if I choose different options, and how my soul feels about different choices. It usually gives me exactly enough information to be able to stop agonizing.
@Havi – Yes! Thank you so much for the link and the Hiro tip, which will totally be my backup plan.
So much helpful goodness here, it boggles the body parts.
.-= communicatrix´s last post … Frrrrriday Rrrrround-up! =-.
Oh noes! I’m sorry about your laptop. That’s got to be sooo stressful when you have a Pirate Ship to run. I can’t even imagine. (I just went thru almost a month of possessed computer and I don’t have a business and it freaked me out so I KNOW!) I hope it comes through its surgery well and stronger than before. (Mine did!)
My deepest sympathies on your laptop. My beloved MacBook is currently dead of a logic board failure, and although all of the stuff is still on the hard drive, the cost of repairing this one exceeds the cost of buying a new one, neither of which I can afford.
Which brings me neatly into my VPA, which is something that I have been dancing around but I can no longer justify lying about, to myself or to anyone else.
What I want: Money.
Not vast quantities of it, although I wouldn’t turn that down. I don’t want to be Scrooge McDuck, going diving in his vault of gold doubloons.
Right now, in this moment, what I want is to be able to pay my bills. I want to be able to sit at my desk without looking out the window in terror every time I hear anything larger than a sedan go by. (Even though I happen to know from experience that the guy who turns your power off drives a sedan.)
More importantly, I want to be able to pay my bills so that I can spend my time moving forward instead of being terrified that I won’t be able to pay my bills and alternating between scrambling to put everything possible toward finding the money to make the payment and burning out because I’ve put everything I have into something that just doesn’t seem to be working.
How this could happen: I could find my Right People, who want me to consult with them. I could make new things that my Right People would want to buy, but again, that’s predicated on finding my Right People. I’m honestly at a loss for what else I can do in a long-term capacity.
My commitment: Never stop looking for Right People. Never give up hope entirely.
But I just don’t know what to do next.
.-= Chris Anthony´s last post … What I learned about business from my Death Knight =-.
There’s nothing that takes the panic out of the week like VPA’s for me. I love this ritual.
My Ask: I have a work related personal issue that has really been bothering me, and is at the point where it is negatively impacting my money stuff. I need to talk to the other person about it, but I really don’t know how to have the conversation is a way that is productive and moves both of us forward positively, rather than just turning into some big fight (I hate big fights!).
Ways This Could Work: I could sit down and write a calm and reassuring but honest email to this person expressing my concerns so they could have time to get back to me and reflect. I could then invite them to have a conversation about it after they feel comfortable expressing their side of it.
My Commitment: To remember that there are two sides to every story. To remember to be sovereign and that protecting your achievements is nothing to be ashamed of. To remain calm and friendly even when I feel fairly angsty over the whole thing.
My Ask: I’m trying to biggify my business so I am working with cool creative people who also have budgets. I am alternatively hearing that my prices are too low, and then getting emails about how my prices stress people out. I am working on having my site redone to reflect my wish to work with bigger creative businesses, and I’m redoing my site copy, but it hits on all these scary money monsters who are very loud.
Ways This Could Work: I could contact some non-scary bigger businesses I know and follow up with them. I could draft new site copy that is bolder and better reflects who I want to work with. I could sit down and talk to my Money Monster and examine why I have these fears about talking about money.
My Commitment:
To draft some new site copy and give myself permission to be sovereign and upfront about my vision for my business. To sit down and have a conversation with my Money Monster and see what is going on there. To contact the one business I would love to work with and I’ve been putting off out of fear of not being good enough.
.-= Holly´s last post … Friday Roundup- On Kaffee- thinking before you speak- and the WP-Thesis debate =-.
VPA: A flurry of tiny little kitten steps to get positive momentum on my illustration + magical + creative service + other fun things, to build, revise and create on an on-going basis.
Ways This Could Work: Use tiny kitten steps to walk. Be aware that what looks like a kitten step could be a rather long jump, so reduce and reduce until I can take another tiny step.
Revise my visuals to reflect what I want just one of my right people to see. And to repeat this for every little thing write, every little service I provide, every thing I make.
My Commitment: Taking one step after the other and greeting fears and stucks and problems and monsters warmly as sources of information to help me keep taking more kitten steps. Not stopping. Making kitten mews when I am ready, so people can find me.
.-= Erin´s last post … Breaking the chalice of loves mead =-.
oh VPAs how I missed you. May major ease flow to everyone’s on this post.
What I want: To remember.
How this could work: I could remember to celebrate my joys in so many ways. The blue sky, my sweetie, my family, my ease. I could hold onto the moment of awareness of when I step out of the moment, even if that doesn’t change the suck.
My commitment: To be gentle with others. To be playful with myself, to remember how to be playful with myself.
Update on last VPA: *has it really been since May 31?*
I asked for ease and tiara wearing and thanks to a major metaphor shift I have it. Metaphors are awesome. It took me a few weeks to slide into the right one for me but now that I have it things make so much sense and I am clear on what it mine and what is other people’s. The relief is delicious.
.-= mary´s last post … CSA brilliant box =-.
Also wishing ease and wellness to your laptop.
What I want: to stay calm and centered, sovereign and compassionate, and wise in the face of chaos. (A cousin has been in a life-threatening accident. Best-case outcome is multiple amputations.)
Ways this could work: dance, journal, support of friends, walk the dogs, take care of myself
My committment: to not wish for any particular resolution and to remain open to what happens
A special ask: I’d like that cousin’s 3 year old son to receive some really good energy/prayers.
Ways this could work: I could ask others (please!) I could meditate daily.
My committment: to ask and to meditate.
@Bullwinkle: Sending so much love and prayers to your cousin and your cousin’s son. And to you as you move through the week.
@Havi: Joining you in wishing refuah shlema for your laptop.
Update on my last ask: Last week, I asked to cultivate an attitude of celebration and appreciation. This is progressing. I wrote a blog post about something that I realized I had never celebrated and was huge for me, and it kind of helped me focus on the ask through the week. Then, my business asked me to celebrate it with bubbles and cake. When I wrote the ask, I was thinking I wanted to cultivate the attitude for the week; now, I realize it’s an attitude that I want to cultivate in general. So yes, progress.
What I want this week: I’d like to find the remaining sets of images so I can make cards for my etsy shop, and also write the descriptions for those sets.
Ways this could work: The ideas swirling around in my head could coalesce into something concrete. I could be looking through my photos and be drawn to the ones I want to use. The names of the remaining sets could occur to me, because then I will know what photos belong to those names.
My commitment: I will spend 15 minutes each day scribbling thoughts for names/descriptions. I will go through my last batch of photos and toss the non-keepers. I will practice Shiva Nata after setting an intention for inspiration. I will look at the photos I really want to include and see if there is a theme or two.
.-= Elizabeth´s last post … ode to joy- volume 28 =-.
Havi, sending much tech love to your laptop!
@alisha — you wouldn’t happen to be in Seattle, would you? Always have trouble finding Mom-writers… would love to hang out!
I’ve been having a really weird week, cycling between elation of epiphanies and funky, growly, rage-filled stuckness. But I think I’m getting a handle on it. Also, used Metaphor Mouse in an insane way and finally figured out how to wrap my arms around all my current to-dos and priorities: I am using my previously “bad” skills of avoidance to come up with creative ways to work around my issues, rather than trying to run headlong through them. No longer an “escapist” but an ESCAPE ARTIST! 🙂
My VPA this week: I need a life coach for my Escape Committee. Unfortunately, cannot afford one at this time.
Ways this could work:
A kindhearted, amazing coach who needs testimonials could ask me to be his/her guinea pig.
A wonderful, magnificent coach who is having trouble getting his/her book published could agree to barter with me. (I rock book proposals and publishing queries.)
Money could fall out of the sky. Or I could find some. Or this contract closing business could move like lightning.
I’m open.
My commitment: I will keep taking baby steps toward the Escape Plan — dig my “tunnels” daily. Ask people to be my look-outs. Start research. Keep that beginner’s mind thing going. Make a list of 5 dream coaches.
Lots of prayers and vibes and good energy for Havi’s computer, and for Bullwinkle’s cousin and hir son.
My VPA:
I need a job. Okay, that’s probably not going to happen this week, but I need more encouraging progress towards a job, even if it’s entirely internal. Like, having a stronger sense of my own competence and hire-ability?
Ways this could work:
I could hear back from the company who interviewed me last week.
I could hear back from some other, as-yet-unheard-back-from company.
I could send out more resumes and try out more avenues of getting in touch with potential employers.
I could just get more ready to see myself as a person whom you (yes! you! :D) should hire, and to project that intention without having to focus super hard on it when I think I have to.
My commitment: I will keep a clear head and try not to let good or bad news sway me from my “tightrope.” I will listen to the monsters that don’t want me to think I can get a job, and help them make piece with the scariness of the process. I will do little things to remind myself that I am totally still the person I saw in my Ritual Epiphany who is smart and ambitious and in charge of herself, and that I totally love that person and would tell her in a heartbeat that she deserved an awesome job.
I’ve never done this before. It feels good! 🙂
Just had a bunch of Apple problems myself — smoothing out my systems in new computer. It wasn’t new computer’s fault though … it was the stuff we migrated from old computer …
I totally get the weird off feeling of not having a computer … at least that’s how it felt to me.
You are in such good hands. I swear the Genius Bar guys should have capes 🙂
Hugs!
.-= Sarah Tieck´s last post … Vision as Fuel =-.
I’m a bit late, but I decided I needed a bit of an internet sabbatical over the weekend… besides, better late than never, right? 😉
Update from last week; I asked for clarity, and I think I mostly found it… I’m still working through it a bit, but I’m finding that just letting things sort of sit for a bit makes a world of difference (note to self, stop trying to push everything so damn much!)
VPA for this week;
I need web/logo design done. Preferably of the quality variety. But I don’t currently have the money to pay a quality designer (sad face).
Ways this could work;
I could mysteriously receive the funds to be able to afford a designer.
A designer could want to work out some sort of barter situation with me.
I could somehow find the time/energy to do the work myself (though I’d really rather not, I have other things that need my time/energy right now).
The web/logo design work could just do itself. Not likely, but hey, you never know 😉
My commitment;
To be open to possibilities.
To consider what I want from my web/logo design, so that when the answer comes, I am actually prepared.
To research designers, so that I can possibly buck up the sovereign courage to approach them about some sort of arrangement.
Good luck to everyone with their VPAs!
and @Bullwinkle – so many hug-filled thoughts, for your cousin’s son and the entire family. <3
.-= Heidi´s last post … My tiny- sweet thing =-.