If that word makes you want to throw up, scream, or run away …
You’re in good company.
Also, I happen to think that I have some fairly useful things to say on the topic.
And if you’re actually cool with “marketing”, hang in there, because there might be something useful for you too.
A tiny bit of background?
Yesterday afternoon I was sitting at the Lucky Lab Public House with my brother and my gentleman friend.
It was my second time there. The first time being three years and one month ago. And wow. The place was exactly as I remembered it — but everything in my head was different.
Back then my brother, Selma and I didn’t have money to spare for things like … oh, food. We were couchsurfing. We were living off of bread and cheese from the supermarket.
This time I had a fantastic tomato soup. And a slice of veggie pizza. And just twenty minutes previously, I’d acquired a MacBook Air. (hooray)
Three years ago I firmly believed that marketing in all forms was evil, manipulative and gross. And at the same time, I had a business. With which I wanted to help people. So, you know, it was kind of a problem.
A most unfortunate word.
Most of us who come to business by way of wanting to save the world or do our art or bring joy to others through being all creatively self-expressive and stuff … we don’t have degrees in business.
We are what Molly Gordon calls Accidental Entrepreneurs.
Which means that our instinctive association with anything “marketing” tends to be more like this article — World’s Worst Person Decides To Go Into Marketing:
“I think it’s the career path that will best utilize my networking skills and my ability to think outside the box,” said Deenan, whose smug, gloating tone and shit-eating smile just make you want to punch his goddamn teeth in. “So I’m definitely thinking marketing. Either that, or PR.”
That still cracks me up … every single time.
An even more unfortunate paradox.
The other night at a dinner thing-ey I met a woman — super-talented artist — who literally backed away with an expression of horror when someone said the dreadful m-word.
The very thing that would help her tell me (someone who likes art and happily supports artists) more about why her stuff is unique and amazing is the thing that is most uncomfortable and unattractive to her.
Or take my starving drag king performance artist girls in Berlin. If they knew I was writing a post about “marketing” (ohmygod I’m doing it right now) they’d probably disown me.
My Berlin friends also spend an awful lot of time figuring out what to say on the hand-drawn flyers announcing their upcoming “soli” event (I think that’s called a Rent Party).
What to say. How to say it. What it should look like. Uh huh. Last I heard, there was a word for that.
So what’s a conscientious non-sleazebag business owner to do?
For one thing, don’t call it marketing!
Seriously. If it grosses you out, change the word.
Personally, I use biggification. Yes, I made it up. And it encompasses the “growing the cool thing I do so I can help people” vibe but kind of takes the piss out of it.
I didn’t invent the art of mindfully biggifying to be cute or anything. It was more that I wasn’t able to say the word “marketing” to the point that when I hired my first business coach, I had to ask him never to say it in our conversations.
He said ” … Uh, what do you want me to call it?”
And I said, “Well, I’m fond of the word ‘biggification’.”
And he said, “Alright then, let’s start biggifying!”
Don’t just change the word. Change the meaning.
This is called reframing in the coaching world, and it works amazingly well.
For example, my definition of “marketing” (what I call biggification) is this:
The art, science and process of helping your Right People a. find you, and b. feel safe saying yes to the thing you have, know or do that will make their lives better.
That’s it.
It’s helping the people you need to help. It’s helping them find you. And it’s helping them feel safe saying yes to the help.
Without this part — the “marketing” part — all you’re doing is hiding in your room wanting to help people. Your Right People are wandering around looking for you and you’re making it hard for them to receive what you have to give.
This might not be your reframe. Yours might be something else. But if you reframe it well enough, you won’t even need to change the word.
For example, my friend and colleague Mark Silver has no problem with the m-word. The way he sees it, it’s a market like a shuk is a market. Like, you go out to the market with your big straw basket over your arm to buy vegetables and sell fruit. You’re going marketing.
For him, it’s fun and playful and creative. That’s because he’s managed to reframe the word so completely that it totally works for him.
Study up on it.
Still hate “marketing”? That’s fine. Hate away. Seriously. It’s normal, it’s natural, it’s forgivable and it’s reassuringly human. I’m glad that you’re not the guy in that Onion article. Ugh.
But don’t stop with just plain old hating. Dive in to this foreign, unappealing thing. Find out what’s happening there.
Know your enemy.
Because if you do, a. you’ll be more successful than everyone else and b. you’ll realize pretty quickly that hey, it’s not the enemy.
Actually, eventually you’ll also realize that there is no enemy and that’s when your head really starts to spin. But we’ll worry about that part some other time.*
*If your curiosity just got piqued, you can peek at this post where I bring up the concept that ‘everything that is against me is an illusion‘
Learn from people who model what they know.
The best person I know to study biggification from is Naomi over at Itty Biz. Even though she has zero problem calling it “marketing” and as soon as she reads this she’ll probably call to tell me just to have a stiff drink and get over it.
But it will be worth it because she makes me spit juice out of my nose.
If there’s still room to get in to her Marketing 101 course which starts this Wednesday (like, the 11th which is practically now), you should do it. Even though she will say that icky, horrible word and you may have to translate it.
Also, I happen to know — because this is how good she is at biggifying — if you sign up through my blog you also get to take another class (like, for free) called Networking For Wallflowers: How To Schmooze When You Suck At Schmoozing.
Which is just for students of her M——– 101 course and which I will be taking too because, as you know, I get all weird and uncomfortable about “networking” as much as I do with “marketing”.
And … maybe also practice trusting your heart a little more.
You know what? You’re a good person. I know you are. And I know that sounds kind of trite and insincere, but really, I meant it.
Really, I’m not just saying that because you read my blog. Though maybe I am. I mean, it does speak well of you.
My point is, you’re not a sleazebag. If you were, you’d be somewhere else.
And my own experience is that the better I get at remembering that I don’t have a slimy, manipulative bone in my body, the easier it all is.
Because when you remember that … it also gets easier to trust that the tools that some people use for evil (copywriting, anyone?) can also be used consciously and intentionally with a pure heart to help people find you. To help them say yes to the amazing thing that you do.
I know you’re using your powers for good. I love that you’re using your powers for good. Still, everyone needs a little help.
And that help happens to be (however unfortunately) called “marketing”. Unless you’re me, in which case it’s called mindful biggification.
That’s it.
I still have all sorts of things to say (surprise!) about stuff related to the non-icky forms of “marketing”, biggifying and putting yourself out there just enough to help your Right People when they need you the most.
But I’ll save it.
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It’s not that I think marketing is yucky. I’m not uncomfortable promoting myself. Yet given the choice of writing a newsletter to clients or adding a new feature to a program, I’ll go for adding the feature every time.
Thanks for the post. I’ll work on it. Ok?
I do like that definition. I think my problem with marketing was that it made me visible. And I don’t think I really wanted to be visible.
That definition works better for me, definitely.
Joely Blacks last blog post..A post about the things I think about when I’m not sleeping
Your post reminded me of a story Robert Kiyosaki told in “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” (not really an “M” book but maybe a cousin). He was talking to a well educated and talented writer who freaked out when he mentioned she might take a class in sales. He pointed out he is a best-SELLING author but not necessarily a best-WRITING author. A writer myself, this helped me justify learning to sell.
Terry Heaths last blog post..I’m Following the Dalai Lama on Twitter
That’s the perfect definition of “biggifying”! I was JUST trying to explain this to my massage therapist friend: marketing is more than just handing out your business cards – it’s defining what you do so your Right People will know they’ve found you!
I love this. So clear. So true. So YES! Let the biggifying begin…
Ooh, that networking class looks good. But I signed up for M___101 when it was first announced… Damn.
Anyway, I love your reframe. And between you and Naomi get about the right mix of swearing, hard liquour, and hippy crap to make this whole thing do-able.
JoVEs last blog post..Camnesia
@JoVE – glad to provide just enough hippy crap to temper Naomi’s drunken cursing. Or something. Also remind me to beg her to sneak you into the networking class next time I talk to her.
@everyone else – yeah, the visibility thing (and our crazy-discomfort with it) is HUGE.
What I say to myself (and this relates to what Ken said so perfectly) is that I’m not promoting *myself* — I’m promoting their well-being. It’s still about them and what would be most useful and helpful for them because they’re my Right People and I love them.
I’d say more on that but hands hurt. Maybe next week. 🙂
First of all, thanks for saying nice things about my course, blahblahblah.
Second, see? Someone gets it? It is not all about turning into a sleaze-ass dirtball of ugliness and shame. It’s about providing good things for the world and alerting the world to their presence.
Third, I’m kind of pissed off that the only time I can say mean shit about you on your blog and you can’t talk back because your wrists broke is the day you said nice shit about me. Dammit.
Naomi Dunfords last blog post..Selling To People Who Aren’t Shopping, Or How To Market For Free
I have no problem with marketing, which is spreading the word about the awesome stuff I have to share.
It’s selling that I’ve always had an icky feeling about.
I know that I don’t sell, people buy, but I’m still working on making my brain/heart understand that. I always wonder if what I’m offering is actually worth what people pay for it. I want to confirm value and yet that’s up to the buyers not me. And since it’s something I can’t control, I get freaked out.
Oh, wait, potential breakthrough happening… must go and let it simmer a bit…
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndromes last blog post..Carnival of Personal Development: February 9, 2009 edition
I totally understand the way circumstances change the way things look like. The huge park where I used to play for hours as a child, is just a tini-tiny sitting area. The “restaurant” at the dorms with the best ever pizza is a junk-food arena, and so on and so forth.
BUT – understanding and implementing are completely different notions. One doable and the other close to impossible.
Thanks for a great post, trying to make the impossible doable. I am not quite there yet 🙂
Have a glorrrrrious day!!!!
Avitals last blog post..Journaling Prompt #30 – New Year’s Resolutions Series – Part 2
I’d have to agree with Ken: I’d rather be adding features to my software than telling people about it.
It’s not discomfort with visibility. I want to be creating something new. Telling people about what’s already there adds nothing new to the world.
True story: I walked into a job interview last week, and the first thing the VP of Marketing said to me was, “I liked your cover letter the most out of any I read. It was funny and energetic. I got a good sense of your personality. And I was especially glad you didn’t use the phrase ‘dynamic marketing professional’ anywhere!”
So the good news is, there are people out there who get it. Your gospel is spreading. Why say marketing when you can say many cooler things??
Julia Rs last blog post..New meaning for the phrase "skee ball"
Love the marketing thing, all good and inspiring.
Want to ask..has part two of talking to walls and maybe body parts got quite a gestation period yet? If I just manage my expectations it’ll be fine
I thank you always and much
Pauline
I’ll “see” everyone Wednesday during the call. I’m very excited about it. I signed up a few weeks ago. Yay!
RhondaLs last blog post..Arabian Nights review – A night out for your inner child
seemed apropos 🙂 seth godin at TED several years back … talking about reaching-the-people-who-want-to-listen http://tinyurl.com/4ppudr
Love your smart points on “know your enemy” (not my enemy) and “learn from people who model what they know.” (Marketing is the task I do in the grocery store; what you brilliantly call biggification is what I do almost everywhere BUT the grocery store!)
And your commenters always offer swell insights too, a powerhouse double-hitter, thanks Havi!
re: “soli” event if that’s a rent party your friends are very tongue in cheek about it. soli stands for solidarity and a soli event usually is held in support of a good cause, think concert for bangladesh or the likes … come to think of it they are probably a pretty good cause.
“I think it’s the career path that will best utilize my networking skills and my ability to think outside the box,” said Deenan, whose smug, gloating tone and shit-eating smile just make you want to punch his goddamn teeth in. “So I’m definitely thinking marketing. Either that, or PR.”
hardly never have my sentiments been expressed so succinctly, cheers.
I think it’s not the m-word and what “they” do, is mainly because some lousy people fill their mouths saying rather nonsense stuff – see the first quote as reference…
I am in a biggifiation comms agency and some of us really want to change the world like most of you accidental entrepreneurs do, but then comes the client…and gives “m” a bad name!
Love the post
Havi —
Thank you for this. (: I hate the word “marketing” too. Biggifying might sound silly to say, but it makes it so much easier in my head. I’ve managed to get off my butt and do so much more to get my stuff out there since I ran into your website.
Convention season looms ahead, and I’ll be trying to get into artists’ alleys and meet people for the first time. *gulp* Scary, but this is way more approachable for me this way. Thank you. (:
Love this article, thank you. Made me feel at home and better about the m-word. Thank you for this and for being so genuine 🙂