Wait, what are you talking about?

Okay, I just wrote a whole noozletter about breaking your patterns down into their various components.

And about how you can then use that information to figure out which part of your pattern is going to be the right doorway for you. The spot that will let you sneak in so you can start making some changes to the pattern.

Or you can think about it like this:

If your pattern is a big complicated knot, some threads are less tightly wound than others, and those are the places where you’re going to want to start gently tugging.

If you still have no idea what I’m talking about … or even if you think you do, try reading my piece on disentangling your patterns. Because that should clear things up for you.

And if you do know what I’m talking about, you still probably want an example.

Wait, I need a real life example.

I thought you might.

Meet a client of mine who gets really, really stressed out when she suspects that people are disappointed in her.

The stress causes her to freeze up, and then everything starts going wrong.

We talked about this idea of breaking the pattern down into individual elements, and then went ahead and deconstructed like so:

1. The trigger
For example, someone appearing to look dissatisfied

2. Initial reaction
Sense of alarm bells

3. Emotional reaction
Fear, anxiety, worry, “Uh oh! “

4. Mental reaction
Disconnecting (everything goes hazy)

5. Body reaction
Sharp burst of adrenaline accompanied by a loud GO!

6. Initial action step
Trying to do the thing you think will please them

7. Accompanying feeling
Rushed, stress, anticipation

Once we had a clearer sense of all of the pattern elements, it was way easier to jump in and start evaluating the different access points:

Starting at #1 was too hard in this case, because learning how to notice the first trigger before it goes off takes a ton of practice.

And you can’t start much past #3 because once you’re in reaction mode, there’s already panic and disconnect to distract you.

It seemed clear that our best access point was link #2 — “alarm bells”. That’s where there seemed to be the most wiggle room, so that’s were we decided to start focusing our attention.

When we applied our various wacky techniques (and if you hang out on my blog or go to my teleclasses you know that there’s no shortage of these), our goal was to create more space around step #2, and start disentangling.

Okay, so what does this mean for me?

As a rule, you always want to look for an access point that’s right at that sweet spot, chronologically speaking.

Your access point needs to be at some point before you’re already deep in emotional chaos. And after something that you could easily identify as a trigger point for you.

Before your resistance kicks in and after you know something’s been set off for you.

Three quick exercises to help you get started.

It’s helpful to start off by talking through your pattern as if you were telling a story.

Next: once you have the story, try writing it all down.

Finally, see if you can break it down into steps. Treat the “this is my pattern” story as if it were an instruction manual or a screenplay.

That’s it! Good luck and don’t forget to let me know how it goes…

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