The other day I had one of those impossible-to-describe shivanautical epiphanies that is so beautiful and simple that it almost can’t be said out loud.
But I am saying it anyway.
It went something like this, but it wasn’t just words. It was deep inside my skeleton.
Everything is a costume. Everything can be a costume. You can turn anything into a costume.
Everything is a costume.
All the special things you wear that help with identify-shifting and process. But ALSO things you can’t see!
A concept can be a costume.
Or a question. Or an idea. Or a desire. A dream. A gwish!
You can wear these, and they will show you what it’s like to live according to whatever it is.
But also other things are costumes because everything is a costume.
I can’t explain it better than that so I’m just going to tell you about the invisible costumes that I am trying on today.
Today.
Today I am experimenting with the costume of Someone Who Has No Problem Whatsoever Typing Up This Giant Pile Of Notes And Is Even Pleased About It.
Today I am wearing the costume of Someone Who Actually Buys Flowers For Her Workspace.
Today I am trying on the costume of Someone Whose Feet Are So Important To Her That They Kind Of Rule Her Life And She Is Completely Okay With That.
Today I am in the costume of Someone Who Keeps A Stone With A Secret Message In Front Of Her At All Times.
And, speaking of stones, I found another costume that lives inside a stone skipping card that I picked from the deck of cards that lives at the Playground:
If my pretend mentor were here to help me…
So I’m also trying on the costume of the Me Whose Pretend Mentor Is Right There And Ready To Help.
The costumes talk, as it turns out.
I am only slightly surprised that these costumes are changing every aspect of how my day is going.
But I have been VERY surprised about how much I am learning about these different costumes/identities/aspects of me.
Like the costume of Someone Who Actually Buys Flowers For Her Workplace.
She is very interesting.
She thinks her work is special and sacred. She cares for her work. She thinks that anything that keeps her in a state of inspiration and appreciation is hugely important. She values beauty in a variety of different forms.
She’s significantly more comfortable than I am with doing things in grand fashion. She’s almost a symbol of the next step in that direction.
I was also surprised to learn that the flowers she wanted were not at all as expensive as I’d thought they were, that she has VERY specific tastes, and that she has a warm, smiley and peaceful way about her. Who knew?
This is the experiment. Join in if you like. Comment zen etc.
Invent, discover or proclaim any costumes you like.
You could wear something that goes with them or you can just try them on as they are. Or you don’t have to try them on at all. You could just name them. That’s a kind of costume too.
If you would like, share some possible costumes here. Or not. You can also go on silent retreat or leave some flowers. Or take some flowers. We have lots of flowers.
As always, we all have our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. Each of us takes responsibility for our own stuff. We let other people have their stuff. We make space for each other. It’s how we practice.
I have lilies. Spectacular lilies. Raised a half an hour away from here. They are a rich, rust-red, and they almost glow.
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Ooh, what a wonderful idea. I shall try this.
I wear the Costume of Someone Who Knows What She’s Doing most of the time, and it actually works pretty well. I used to call it “having fake confidence”. It seems like a necessary part of being a parent, because although kids are fine with me admitting I don’t know stuff, showing that mostly I am entirely at sea without a tiller doesn’t give them a secure foundation from which to strike forward on their own.
To mangle a metaphor or two, like.
I have been faking being an artist until I turned into one, too. One weird effect is that the bright colourful clothes I wore anyway now feel like a costume rather than just, you know, my clothes, and sometimes that’s good and sometimes it feeds into imposter syndrome.
But my Shiva Nata DVD arrived today and I’m pondering how even thinking about Shiva Nata gave me permission to be not just who I already am but more of who or what I want to be.
I’ve ordered an easel, which is like a costume I wear on my home instead of my body.
I claim the Ballerina costume!
In biggifying, I have been lately wearing the costume prescribed, the costume of The Person Who Writes Her Resume Exactly Like the Sample One.
I interview in the (dark, hard-to-move-in) costume of The Person Who Has No Hobbies Because All She Thinks About Is Practical Work. This person is articulate but dull (except for carefully rehearsed tonal inflections in the polysyllabic words.)
To me, pink tulle is a costume of One Who Twirls for the Heck of It. She if fun at parties and always. Yay for moving. Ideas/motivations or career goals or expectations are pinned to the costume. If they don’t survive the spinning, Heck-Twirler can generate more. Like the swirls of an electromagnet generate force.
I think a tutu would be a great accessory for a suit.
Oh I’d love some lilies! Just what the day is in need of!
I am bringing pink flowers – of the farmville kind but real 🙂
I would love (for today and tomorrow) – the Costume Of Me Who Knows Exactly What She Wants In This Situation
and for after – The Costume Of Me Who Is Pre Traveling and Collecting Clews For That
The Costume Of Being So Gracious At Receiving Support
The Costume of Carrying Little Lion Around Everywhere.
Oh, this is brilliant!
And the costumes talk! They want to talk. It’s like talking with the monsters and a negotiator and slightly future me. Only these costumes are Me Now, Me Potential, Me Who Has Been Patitently Waiting…
I’m finding the costumes of Someone Who Knows What She’s Doing, Someone Who Takes Care of Herself, Someone Who Doesn’t Need to Wear Shoes, Someone With A Lot to Think About…
All of these costumes express something and, yay, the person they represent is worth listening to.
Thanks for the idea.
Wow, yes. Costumes! And, yes to the costume/concept that everything is a costume. And I discovered the other day that other people see me in costumes, some that I don’t see, and some that I’m not even wearing!!
And, just now I see that when I throw a shoe it’s hitting someone with my costume, one that the other person doesn’t wear or own; like trying to make someone wear my costume cause it’s too uncomfortable for me to wear. After all, shoes are part of the costume, no?
Interesting…I was just writing along these lines in, And She Called Me, “Dear.”
Right now I am wearing the costume of The One Who Isn’t Afraid to See What She See’s and Can’t Un-see Anyway.
@VIVA, as a former ballerina I love your Heck-Twirler. I could have used more of her back in the day.
Costumes! Must run to metaphorical shop right away.
———————————
Oh, I’m so glad you are still open —
Please, I would like one
‘the Me who adores Food experiments because they are fun and easy’.
and one
‘the Me who thinks yet another re-org at work is glorious’.
Free with the fluentself discount, wonderful.
Please don’t bother to wrap them, I’ll wear them right away.
Yes both at the same time…
Ah! Genius! This might be just what I need right now. I shall experiment by wearing the costume of Someone Who Has No Problem At All Writing This Essay And Sounding Smart Because She Is Secure In Her Smartness.
I realize I did something like this with a poem once. It went “when my life depended / on one of two / opposite terms / I dared mix beauty with courage” – and I wrote those lines at several places on my body, and then I thought my actions through beauty and courage. It was wonderful. Thank you for this post, Havi.
@Judy – that is such an interesting way of thinking about shoes… *goes off to ponder*
*leaves one slender, dark purple, grape-smelling iris*
<3
This is a wonderful insight.
I read this post, and found myself ready to quietly try on the costume of My Father Is Dying — because his cancer is quietly, inexorably progressing, and it really seems that the chemotherapy will ultimately not help enough, and although my siblings and parents and I are not quite ready to say it to each other, I find myself believing that this disease will be the thing that ends his life.
It’s so tempting to apologize for bringing a note of sadness to the joy and play and empowerment of costumes — but honestly, this is empowering to me. I’m grateful for the space and grace to try on this new and strange costume, to see how it feels and what it reveals.
I’ll probably take it off again after a while — but I’ll leave it some place where I can find it later, when I need it.
Oh, this is something that’s going to help me, I can tell! Thank you!
Wow, so many insights of different kinds.
I am hurriedly safety pinning the hem on my “She who effortlessly is so put-together and with-it and interesting and has her stuff going ON, and is fun-and-nice” costume.
I do notice that I can put on a thought-and-carriage costume, but I like finally having my finances under enough control that I can actually start to build a physical wardrobe of sorts that I actually LIKE. I just wish it were easier to find things for size 11 feet, wide hips and a relatively small waist, and to find a “tall” size shirt!! (even though I am not super tall, I just like longer shirts)
Interestingly and serendipitously there was an article a few days ago on a similar phenomenon about a study on people wearing doctors’ lab coats and feeling more focused!
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/03/science/clothes-and-self-perception.html
I think I would like a synchronistic and serendipitous lab coat. That would have pockets loaded with the best pens, and good mojo!
Oooh, the flowers! You might be one of my invisible mentors, Havi, because last week I spontaneously purchased a flower for my workspace. (I never do this. But I got a wild hair and did it!)
It’s a rust-red calla lily. Just the one. That was last Monday, and it’s still going strong.
As I bought it, I thought “this is so easy. It’s so affordable. Why don’t I do it all the time?”
And maybe the answer is just, simply, I wasn’t wearing the costume. After reading your post, that seems so simple. Just put on the costume! I am really liking that…
I am leaving some flowers because I bought some pretty ones the other day and have some to share!
I’m very excited about qualities-as-costumes… I suppose my invisible sovereignty crown is related to this.
Also, the other day I used the costume of me-who-has-invisible-pink-hair and discovered she knows a lot about sovereignty, play and self-confidence. And also, she’s an extrovert. And now it’s one of my favorite invisible costumes.
My other recent favorite is the Empress of Ice Cream costume… thanks very much to the stone skipping deck. I got that one the other day, and the answer was that the Empress of Ice Cream would go to the beach and fly a kite… obviously.
And maybe today I will try on the costume of someone who doesn’t mind so much being at work. I received a secret self-destructing letter the other day (ala Inspector Gadget) that said my job is to protect my boss’s energy by making sure Things Are Taken Care Of, so I’m going to try wearing a costume of someone who really likes to do that today.
Cheers to costumes!!
Oh, how I love this! I’ve been big into costumes lately (actually, Slightly Future Me has been big into me trying on costumes for her), so this is especially resonant now. And everything is a costume! AHA!
*doing a happy dance then leaving a bunch of brightly colored tulips*
I’ve been playing with costumes a lot lately, so this is very resonant for me. It’s part of one my projects for this year, the ENd of Shabby (EoS). EoS is wonderful and scary and sometimes really ahrd, but tields up lost of valuable stuff.
EoS put me in a good place to receive closet-purge goodies from co-workers (beautiful expensive clothes and jewlery i would never ahve bought for myself, piles of it)
EoS made me realize that wearing rthe costume of Leni Who Makes Yoga a High Priority will bring more yoga into my life. And it worked!
And of course the Kitty-Cat Ears of Sovereignty really do increasse my sovereignth and brng joy to everyone in the house.
And also mky Sexy Sovereignty Boots, because they are SexyBoots but I feel Sovereign in my Slinkiness when I wear them.
Ah, evoking the secret culture of backstage at the theatre. The magical land that brings about the magic that the audience sees. Loving it! I have a deep pattern of liking to be in on things like that.
Today I am trying on the costume of She Who Is Organized and Ready To Pack for the Weekend Trip.
Also the costume of She Who is Ready to Engage With a Crowd of People Whom She Only Vaguely Remembers During the Weekend Trip.
Ah costumes!
I’ve been looking for an extraordinary writing hat but I haven’t found it yet. But as long as I won’t find the perfect crazy hat that brings my writing to superpowers I’ll try the invisible one instead.
Together with the Oh She Really Truely Knows Where All This Writing Stuff Will Lead Her To Costume.
Good Idea.
Thank you Havi.
@Sarah Thank you for reminding me of the invisible sovereignty crown. It’s just what helps right now!
@Leni End Of Shabby is a great idea! Thanks a lot for sharing.
@Kathleen: Leaving some flowers for you. Your favorite kind, whatever they are.
I’m putting on the costume of that chick who just LOVES to celebrate her birthday. The day before her birthday, she goes home and eats a yummy piece of pizza and lazes about. The day of her birthday, she wakes up way excited. And she is just so delighted at all the good wishes she’s received. And she’s just tickled pink to have made it through 27 years, and she’s not afraid to show it.
She stops and sniffs flowers as she walks past them on the street. For real.
This makes so much sense.
I’m currently wearing the costume of Someone Who Leaves A Comment Instead Of Just Thinking To Herself How Brilliant This Post Is.
And tomorrow I’ll try on the costume of Someone Who Is Totally Comfortable Talking To Strangers And Open To Making New Friends. I’m sure I’ve worn it before, it must still be somewhere in my closet.
Tomorrow, I need to wear the costume of Someone Who Is Prepared To Say No To Something To Which The Only Acceptable Answer Is Yes. I think it might involve purple boots.
At some point after that, I will have to wear the costume of Someone Who Can Find That Which Does Not Exist.
Right now, I’m looking for the costume of the Protector Of The Scared Parts.
I often use costumes as in “I am a member of a team doing secret files and this report is due to my boss in an hour” to finish work.. but not “this is an essay for university and I am the scholar who loves writing about this topic”. Will have to have a play around with her.
Or the costume of Someone Who loves To Hear Other People Enjoying Themselves (And Doesn’t Mind Being Woken Up By Their Music).
It won’t hurt to try them on at least 🙂