There’s something I haven’t told you guys.
You already know about the Book of You, where I store Useful Information about how I function, along with what to do when I feel like crap.
But I have another binder that is kind of a companion book. It’s called the Revue Anthology, and it makes everything better.
Background.
The practice of keeping the Revue Anthology came from the realization that if I don’t review or process my experience of a thing after it happens, the learning often doesn’t stick.
But a review is a stressful, judgment-laden thing for me, and so — with the help of Metaphor Mouse, I discovered that I’d rather have a Revue. With spectacular dance moves. And spangles!
Way more fun.
I keep it simple. Because otherwise I wouldn’t do it.
It looks like this.
There are two questions.
1) What worked? 2) What might I want to try in the future?
That’s it.
If I do a thing — get my haircut, go on Emergency Vacation, go to a dinner party, whatever — it will end up getting a tiny section in the Revue Anthology.
Nothing fancy.
I grab a brightly colored sheet of paper and name it (Haircut!).
The processing itself happens on notebook paper. What worked? And what might I want to try in the future?
Super useful things sometimes get circled or highlighted.
If there’s something incredibly, unbelievably important that I need to remember (Seriously, do not ever go to dinner parties because you suffer unimaginable sufferings…), that can get transferred into the Book of Me.
But basically I just take notes and then put the page into the Revue Anthology.
Here are some examples from recent entries:
Roller Derby: bout day.
What worked?
- Leaving earlier than seems necessary.
- Remembering the seat cushion.
- Costumes!
- Keeping season passes by the door.
- Not drinking.
- Doing your rituals beforehand.
What might I want to try in the future?
- Now that it’s spring, you don’t need to bring a jacket.
- Using the money pocket instead of bringing a wallet.
- A closing ritual to come down from the high.
- Extra penguins around the force field.
Facial.
What worked?
- Having made the hard phone call beforehand so I didn’t have it on my mind.
- Working with an intention.
- Actually remembering to use moisturizer for an entire week. Sparklepoints for me!
- Stretching feet.
What might I want to try in the future?
- More time to get centered before getting there.
- A ritual for leaving (still trying to get better at closing things).
Pineapple Upside Down days
Note: this is what I call weekends. Long story, but I’m playing around with not working weekends and it’s crazy hard.
What worked?
- Morning walk in the sun.
- Deviating from what we normally eat during the week.
- Catching myself when things aren’t working and pulling out.
- Remembering to have a theme for the Upside Down Days, so I can journal on it or draw or something if I start to get bored or distracted.
- Starting the day with extra meditation.
What might I want to try in the future?
- Going online is always a tragic mistake. Always.
- If I want to go online “just to look something up”, either have the gentleman friend do it or write a sticky note and put it on the wall for later.
- An outfit? Ridiculous legwarmers? A wig? Something that serves as a reminder that this is the mode we’re in.
- More transition time in and out.
So that’s how the Revue works.
It probably sounds more complicated than it is.
I actually never spend more than a minute or two on it. Plus the thirty seconds that it takes to track down magic markers (ahem, note for Book of Me to keep markers everywhere!).
There’s no pressure to figure out all the things that I might want to try in the future, because there will be lots more derby bouts and ohmygoodness years of Pineapple Upside Down days.
All I’m doing is noting what is working, which always feels good.
And instead of focusing on how I’m a colossal failure, the focus is on finding one or two things that I might — conceivably, possibly, theoretically, no pressure! — mess around with in the future.
It’s a gentle Revue. And the spangles definitely help.
And comment zen for today.
If you are interested in playing with a Revue or with the idea of Revue-ing, that’s fantastic.
As always, we go by the People Vary principle, which means that you are welcome to adjust and adapt anything I use in ways that work for you.
And we do this while keeping in mind the principles of non-violence and compassion. However: forcing ourselves to be compassionate is not compassionate. So never more compassion than you can stand. 🙂
We all have our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. It’s a process.
I would love to read some mini-revues if you feel like doing one. Or thoughts about ways you might be interested in playing around with this practice or a similar one.
xox
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*ZOMGsqueeGLOMP!*
(Which roughly translates to: Omigod, you’re a goddess and it’s a shame you’re a chick ’cause I wanna have your babies!!!)
(Which less roughly translates to: Thank you for this post. I’ve been needing something like this for a while, but I guess I didn’t have permission? or ideas? enough to structure it. Oh, and I focus on the negative. Your idea of skipping that part = genius. In a way, this looks a lot like a basic writing critique, so there’s lots of comfort and familiarity too. Thank you again! ^^)
That’s a lovely idea! I’ve also noticed that the Book Of Me sometimes feels too monumental to use to record bits of minutia–I’ve been using private journal posts on Dreamwidth for that niche. This sounds like a nifty format to use for event-specific entries instead of mood-centric ones–I’m going to try it out!
Ooh. I love a good spangle-y revue!
The Massage
What worked: Going. The chiropractic adjustment several days before. Weekday schedule = not giving up my weekend time. Beginning of the month = no bank account fear in the way. Enough time for coffee at adorable cafe beforehand = pacing the arrival, not rushed. Walking around beforehand = more good pacing, plus warming up the blood. Feeling loved by the masseuse, who remembered me. Lymphatic massage to help me get over a cold. Sparklepoints for not letting the childcare dilemma get in the way of going!
What to try next time: A better goodbye ritual…more walking, or a tiny treat, or scheduling a follow-up treatment? Asking for the kind of massage I want: restorative versus loosening up. Less time between massages. Arriving with cash.
Oh, I like this very much! And, since I carry my journal with me just about everywhere as if it were secretly a shape-changed teddy bear, I can easily try adding some Revues to my daily practice.
Here’s my current situation, which I’m sharing because I know that you and many other commenters and lurkers will empathize: right now, as I type, there is teeth-achingly loud construction going on right outside my office door. They’re tearing up floor tiles in the hallway, and sanding and cleaning the sub-floor. It’s loud, and dusty, and even faintly smelly. So, here at the halfway point of my day, I will Revue.
What’s working?
–Keeping my door closed, for heaven’s sake.
–Cultivating a wry, head-shakingly snarky sense of humor about this whole situation.
–Reaching out (with comments like this and text messages — NOT phone calls! — to sympathetic others) for support and commisseration.
–Coming up with good reasons to be elsewhere for a little while.
–Traveling a little bit lighter than usual, carrying less of my usual music therapy gear with me, as I move throught the ravaged hallways.
What might I want to try in the future?
–I may want to look into some kind of noise-cancelling headphones (wasn’t there a VPA about that recently? I can search for it…) before the next day I have to be at this work site — for this current project, and any others that arise in the near future (apparently, there are facility-wide improvement projects underway, all around the building and the grounds, so I may want to Be Prepared).
–I can notice when my muscles are tensing and my breathing is shallow, and do some conscious, loving stretches and deep breaths. I can even add some vocals to the breathing, because I don’t think anyone’s likely to hear me over the din!
Very grounding. I especially appreciate the gentle, graceful soft-shoed side-stepping any non-useful tendency to beat myself up. Thanks, Havi!
Oh fun, I’ll play!
-Going to Bed-
What worked:
– Telling everyone that I get 20 uninterrupted minutes in the bathroom and meaning it.
– Warm bath with curious kitty nosing around making me laugh
– Remembering to brush my teeth all the way through with flossing.
– Using the snot-liquification-system (neti pot).
– Listening to music on my headphones
What I might try in the future:
– Use a ritual for grounding instead of going on the computer.
– Really, do anything to avoid late night computering.
– Have some tea close at hand
– Tell the teenagers that they need to be quiet now, and quiet means no loud music right outside my door.
Ohh, I definitely like this. I love the pleasantly introspective and non-judgemental questions. And the simplicity! So beautiful!
My first thought of something to apply this method to is quite different from the ideas explored so far. That’s because my current worry is not about an event as such, but more… a pattern of doing things in the morning, a pattern that I am having trouble changing. Maybe it’s difficult to change because there are parts of it that really work for me, and so it would be helpful for me to start gently observing what it is that works. And, at the same time, if I gently consider what I could maybe possibly do a tiny bit differently next time, maybe I can find another way that works a little bit better, and then a little bit better after that, without ruining the things that are working.
It’s SO hard not to think about the things that aren’t working, though! But those always sound judgemental-ly, and I’d rather focus on the things that are supportive instead. So, here goes…
What worked: tiny breakfast; always a water to sip; listening to the not-feeling-well vibe and going back to bed (I do feel mostly better now!); bigger yummy second breakfast; little bits of housework here and there, no big deal; minimal facebook/twitter; reviewing yesterday quickly so it’s done; reviewing today’s tasks “calmly, for love & sanity” so I can check off the task that reminds me to do that; not being pushy about when I do things (like getting out of my pyjamas and into the shower).
What might I want to try in the future: writing for myself, to get to know what’s going on in the morning (maybe call it a morning meeting: meeting myself where I am, where pyjamas are not only welcome but encouraged!); think of fun costume earlier in the day, so I get more excited about getting out of pyjamas (because I know that being in non-pyjamas is something that works for me); music always makes everything better, so maybe there’s a way to use it as part of a wakeup activity, maybe leading into my Shiva Nata practice (which I’m totally allowed to do in my pyjamas, if I want!); casually reading something workie-work related while I eat first or second breakfast, no big deal; resume having morning walks, now that the weather is getting nicer again.
Hmm, a little bit of ouchies, after tripping on my stuff a few times. But altogether not so bad, and I think if I do this more, I might be able to figure out what parts of my stuff are keeping me feeling stuck in my pyjamas. Or maybe I’ll figure out what things my pyjamas do for me, how I can make it work for me. Maybe Pyjama-me can have her own dance number in the Grand Revue! I’m going to try asking her what she wants, I think.
Thanks Havi!
Wow, this sounds like a fab process. Thanks for sharing 🙂
This week i’m de-cluttering. So I guess things that worked included:
– going back to sleep following a rubbish night of sleep
– taking the wardrobe in sections
– having minimalist blogs open with pictures and “how i manage with so little” entries to read when i get stuck
– taking the whooole day for it
To try for tomorrow/next time?
– maybe i can do the “remove ten items” thing
– keep snack foods to hand
– take a break between each section for tea?
Hmm.. think I could do somethign like this; though I often just think “today was a day”; i dont think of phone calls as things to revue; i just want tof orget about the horrible experience [i dont like talking on the phone].
But i think a revue may help..
will have to have a think =)
I like that you write about “What worked” and “What you might want to try in the future”. You center on the stuff that went well and what could make it even better – not the stuff that went wrong and the mistakes you may have made. This is a great way to look at it.
I like to say that we don’t really make mistakes – we just do stuff: some stuff we’ll do again, and some stuff we won’t do again, but it’s all stuff right?
I just realized this is brilliant for my classes at the university and my clients, since I tend to veer into “all the things I should have done that I didn’t do in class and/or did wrong”. Neither fun nor helpful.
What worked today?
– telling them all I wasn’t feeling well at the beginning, so any weird behavior on my part made sense
– having them work in groups
– setting up the class the hour before so it’s fresh
– putting the assignment up the very first moment of class
What might I want to try next class?
– mix up the groups
– call on people specifically or have them put stuff on the board
– have extra stuff planned in case we have extra time
I love this idea. I do something sort of like this but it’s post-its or index cards or drawn in ketchup on the car window — I like having a book.
When I saw the caption on this picture from Daily Squee, I immediately thought of this blog, and more specifically this post.
http://squee.icanhascheezburger.com/2011/04/05/cute-baby-animals-this-was-a-terrible-idea/
Wee Panda wants to start a Book of Me after a wee Revue.
A Revue, of course! I do this a bit now but it’s all in my head. Having somewhere to put it for reference-even just the act of writing it down-is a great idea!
I like this idea. I think I need to get a glitter pen for my revues. Because revues and glitter just go together, in my mind.
Or maybe I could just steal my kid’s sparkles and glue them to the pages. Either way. Making things fancier just ups the fun quotient, no matter how you do it.
Ah, I do this in my journal, also known as the Anthropology of Me. I do a lot in my journal; whining, sulking, complaining, justifying, etc. But I also do a lot of investigating of Me.
Tonight it was about going to the dance. Sometimes there aren’t enough partners and I get cranky. Or no one asks me to dance and I feel unpopular and ugly.
What worked was to do a lot of “even though” scenarios in my head. Even though I’m pissed off that no one’s dancing with me, I’m still here and I’m not going to leave yet. Even though I feel like I’m going to get stuck with the sucky dancers, I’m going to sit at this table and wait to see what happens.
I was kind of amazed at how less charged my emotions felt when I didn’t try to fight them, or wallow in them. For next time, I might try reminding myself before I leave the house for the dance that things may happen that make me cranky or pissed off, but I have a way to get through that.
I also might try keeping these observations in a separate book, so they’re not mixed in with the rest of the journal. That way I can refer to them again when I forget.
Ah Havi, What a beautiful, gentle way of trying to learn from our experiences. Thank you for this idea.
Taking doggie to the ER
What worked: calling Tiffany to see if I really needed to panic, calling the vet ER when I couldn’t reach Tiffany, trusting my husband’s judgment, going with him, praying, sending out text messages asking for help/prayers, deciding to TRUST that things would be okay, letting myself cry.
What I might try next time: not allowing doggie to eat people food, acting as soon as a warning bell goes off in my head, even if it’s just a little research
Follow-up doggie health care
What worked: letting husband take charge, make appointment, take her there by himself.
What I might try next time: trusting husband a little more to handle things
This is awesome. I want a new binder now for this… hmm dollar tree is my friend.
Okay
Sick day yesterday
What worked:
Sleeping
husband being at school instead of trying to convince me to go do stuff
laying in bed
no computer
reading when i couldn’t sleep any more
taking medicine early
What I might want to try next time:
Actually staying home. Coming in to work for two hours isn’t helping anyone get better.
Drinking more water… have 2 water bottles in the bedroom and drink them when I wake up.
I love this.
Being a Human Who Is Sick: A Revue
What worked!
– Going back to bed when it was evident that I wasn’t going to get anything done without more rest
– Gargling with warm water
– Drinking tea
– Eating lots of vegetables, and almonds
– Packing many many many snacks for when I had to leave the house
– Updating my calendar to reflect the things that didn’t get done today (putting them on tomorrow or the next day’s calendar space)
– Wearing a cute but comfortable outfit
Maybe next time!
– Go back to bed AS SOON AS I RECOGNIZE that I’m not going to get anything done, instead of waiting an hour hoping for more energy (this is a tricky one to judge)
– Call my old doctor for advice
– Ask for a recommendation from someone local for a new doctor
– Call someone who will listen actively, and be encouraging, instead of someone who will be pitying, and tell me how I should feel
– Keep a stream o’ gratitude going, to ward off the ‘I hate the universe and every damned thing in it’ thoughts that tend to crop up when I’m a Sick Human
<3!
I like this whole Revue thing. Especially giving it a funny name (Revue!) and making it positive and shortshortshort. (I’ve been “writing” in the same journal for four years.) Yes, short, positive jotting. I definitely like it.
Love it! I had to practice my dance moves every day in preparation for a performance. So instead of “Dance Review”, I wrote down “Dance Revue”. The best part? I don’t have to clean up the spangles when they’re in my head.
I’ve struggled with this for a long time, but I think it might be starting to come unstuck.
My name for it is De-Brief (or The Brief). This works because:
1. I allow myself a small juvenile snigger at the double entendre.
2. It reminds me that it doesn’t have to be a huge long thesis-sized thing.
3. Also there is apparently a Comte de Brief (bree-EHFF) who is really cool and clever. He has long twirly moustaches, a cape and a cane. And magical powers. Who helps me with the process. (Possibly in part by tearing the voluminous robes off annoying shriek-y women > the Un-Dressing > the De-Brief. (Sheesh, where does this stuff *come* from??))
(4. It also fits because after Social Events especially I do often feel like I’ve been through some sort of military ordeal slash special ops undercover mission. But I prefer the fun associations.)
I haven’t quite decided on the best name for the second category yet, so right now it’s called “Learned/Ideas”. But making a list of What Worked *first* is absolutely essential.