I do a lot of entry and exit. Setting things up.
Also preparing for the voyage. Or preparing in general. And then doing a little Revue (with high kicks!) when it’s over, because I don’t like to review things but I like taking stock.
Sometimes I’m convinced there’s no time to enter and exit experiences.
But that’s pretty much always the time gremlins talking.
So we do the short version. And sometimes even the shortest version.
The short version for entry looks like this:
What do I want to feel? And what do I need?
And I usually direct the those questions towards slightly wiser me.
Notes about this practice!
You’ll know if you’ve encountered a monster who’s answering the questions for you.
You’ll know because the answers won’t be nice. Like this:
“What do you need? You need to stop being so lazy. Or maybe you could also stop being such a whiny little pain in the ass. That would be good too. What are you wasting your time for? Just do it!”
And you’ll know if you’ve encountered a sad, scared version of you and not slightly wiser you if the answer you get is really stressful. Like this:
“What do I need? I need EVERYTHING TO [insert stream of creative cursing in Arabic] WORK FOR A CHANGE, aaaaaaargh!”
So. The fuzzball monsters are allowed to have their opinions. And the sad, scared selves get to feel safe. Always. Safety first!
But you’re not asking them. You’re asking the part of you who knows.
This can take practice. Give it time. There’s time.
Okay. Back to the practice. Examples! From yesterday.
Examples of short-version entry…
Dance class.
What do I want to feel? Tough, competent, graceful, grounded, present.
And what do I need? Conscious breathing. And the superpower of knowing when I need to take breaks, and trusting that information.
Breakfast.
What do I want to feel? Joy and nourishment, intentional caring for myself..
And what do I need? Want what you want. It’s important.
A work thing that I don’t want to do.
What do I want to feel? Capable. Strong. Centered..
And what do I need? Use your force field. Plan without planning. Do the alignment exercise. It’s okay to take extra time to do an OOD because that will give you useful information for later. Also: this is a fractal flower!
Mini marathon-training.
What do I want to feel? Release.
And what do I need? Tissues. A pillow. Put the sign on the door so no one disturbs you.
Going to the bathroom.
What do I want to feel? The symbolic power of process: I am letting go of whatever my body is done with.
And what do I need? To remember that running off to pee is not a break. It’s not taking me away from my work of self-inquiry and it’s not separate from my life. It’s another way that I take care of myself.
The short version for EXIT.
Exit looks like this:
What worked? What might I try next time?
Examples of short-version exit…
Dance class.
What worked? Smiling! Music! Knowing that my body is my home and this is where I live.
What might I try next time? Coming a few minutes earlier to get a better spot.
Breakfast.
What worked? Doing entry!.
What might I try next time? Leave the pretty glass for the Strengthening Elixir out on the counter so we don’t forget. Maybe that glass needs a home?
A work thing that I don’t want to do.
What worked? Ohmygod doing the OOD helped so much!.
What might I try next time? I think I’d do it exactly like that! But maybe with a costume?
Mini marathon-training.
What worked? Putting on a nine minute song and knowing how long it would be..
What might I try next time? Turning off the sound on the phone.
Going to the bathroom.
What worked? That reminder that this is part of what I do, not separate from it.
What might I try next time? Naming the superpowers.
The even SHORTER version.
Entry: One quality. Example: Courage! And then: May it be received with love.
(I do this every time I press pooblish on a blog post. Or when I have a snack. Or when I go for a walk.)
Exit: One quality. Example: Support! And then: Thank you, experience.
And the SHORTEST version.
The shortest version involves knowing that everything is a door.
Including the experience you are about to enter, as well as the entry and the exit.
Entry: Hello, Door.
Exit: Goodbye, Door.
It’s all shorthand. The Hello includes all of the aspects of hello, without stating them. The Goodbye contains all the magic of endings.
Playing. And the commenting blanket fort.
We all have our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. It’s a process.
The way this works is that we all agree to take loving ownership for our experience. And we create a safe environment by not giving unsolicited advice or telling each other how to feel.
Ways to play. So many! Because play is infinite possibility.
You could make up your own ways to enter and exit. No need to use mine. Or you can play with how you might find tiny ways to enter and exit. Or things in your day that could use mini entries and exits.
Or we could make sweet loving wishes for the parts of us who think this is way too much work.
And give our internal scientists the task of finding out how doing entry and exit changes our experience.
What I’m calling on: Receptivity, intelligence, curiosity and flow.
May it be received with love.
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One big Clew I have received lately is how Proxies are Entries into issues and problems that I find hopelessly stuck, frustrating and beyond fixing. Big tangled walls that overwhelm me with their DOOOOM.
Like, Chasing the Cat. Once I started calling this bad pattern Chasing the Cat, everything I knew about chasing cats came forward and I could toally see why it is bad and ineffective. It also opened up Clews for changing the pattern. The pattern has really shifted and this has been a very elegant Exit out of this sad bundle of frustration and pressure.
Ah! Yes!
I so totally need the shorter version for conversations (every conversation! ever!), also for entering and exiting cities. And modes of transportation (you know how I like to smile at buses!)
This. Exactly this.
I’ve been playing a lot with conscious entry and exit, and I’ve loved the effects when I have time to do really deep entry (Hello Day in the morning, for example). However, I’ve been challenged by the time and effort involved. My monsters have oh, so much to say on that subject. Thank you, Havi, for illustrating the ways that the essence of entry and exit can be applied even when life seems to be moving too quickly.
Hhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!
xoxo
This is amazing, Havi, thank you! I have a lot of trouble with Time Gremlins and unwillingness to use my techniques, so having a mini-version is just what I needed. xxx
OMFG! Peeing is self-care. Like I get to do it when I need to, not when it’s convenient for the work. This just blows my mind. And if that is true, then it might also be true for sleep.
Sleeping is self-care. I get to do it when it I need to, not when it’s convenient for the work. This also blows my mind, but all in the good ways.
*sparklepointsforeveryone*
Also the mini-door rituals. Love them.
When I started reading this blog I tried to come up with some rituals for my day, one of them is about entry and it is quite short: two (sometimes three) claps before starting something!!
I have tried this when waking up, before getting off my bed, it makes me start the day with energy but cannot use it as much because normally I am the first to wake up and don’t want to make to much noise to the others.
The other short versions I do are like the doors, or may be are just about presence, I just say “this is me driving” to remind me I’m about to be driving and should pay attention to that.
I will keep trying rituals and entry and exit and presence, because my scientists have already shown me these things are working well 😀
P.S. You can even use ONE clap or some other hand gesture, snaping fingers perhaps or node or something 🙂
Loving this. I’m still working out my routines and rituals, so the thought of streamlining isn’t even there yet… I’m still on rough draft and not ready for revision! But I like the idea that once I’ve got it, embraced it, I can start concentrating and distilling it down. And it won’t seem like “holy crap, my whole day is back to back rituals!” (Not that that’s a bad thing, but it gets a bit crowded, and I’ve learned I need to leave space!)
@ Esteban: “This is me, driving.” That’s like “I am here. This is now.” A good short ritual.
This is just so helpful; shorter versions of the things I do to make things go better.
We have a ritual for going to the doctor that involves greeting certain people on the way in and saying good-bye on the way out. We shorten that ritual to a wave or nod if they are occupied. If we don’t see them, we still had the intention of the ritual.
What this post tells me is that any/all of my rituals can be altered and still be effective, in the same way that going-to-the-doctor is adapted to the situation.
So now I’m thinking.
I’m just back to comment about taking stock:
There is a genus of flowers, Matthiola, that are commonly called stock — such as night-scented stock. They are have a lovely scent and are beautiful simple flowers.
I decided to gather a bunch of pictures of stock and print them out. I can use them for taking stock.
Yes yes yes! I have been playing with entry and exit lately, and I am awed and excited by the idea of applying it to all the tiny moments you describe — thus far i’ve found it easier to do my entry/exit stuff for BIG events. Like the mini-Rally thing. Thank you for modeling this advanced practice!
Beautiful and perfect. Sweet pause (Paws!) moments to take time to Know. Thank you thank you for the shortened version – it is super timely.
This is the only place on the Internet where we pee as self-work, yes?
This is pretty much the only place on the Internet that I enjoy.
Short forms of entry are especially useful when I want to re-enter something, which I’m learning that I can do just about any time I choose. If I find myself feeling scattered, agitated, un-sovereign, or just generally not the way I want to be, I can take a breath, invoke a quality, and move forward. Re-enter, re-set, re-boot.