Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
So. I keep having this phrase in my head.
Sidurim enyanim po sham … this is the answer you give in israel when people want to know what you’ve been doing all day, or what your plans are.
It basically means: errands, getting stuff sorted, running around, here and there.
Here, there. This is where I’m at. Lots of this.
Thing 1: A million trillion things.
Here’s what I want:
Okay, this might be a monster number but a million trillion is exactly what it feels like.
There are so many things. And not even work-related things.
And they just don’t get to my attention.
Like making the rendezvous for the eye doctor. Or oh dear god even washing my hair, which I have not done in like, a year.
Ways this could work:
I need a Barrington. An independently wealthy Barrington, because I really can’t hire a personal assistant right now in addition to everyone else on staff. Or…?
A perfect simple solution.
I don’t know.
I’ll play with…
Processing on the Floop!
Making the list so that I know it’s somewhat, maybe slightly, less than a million trillion. Possibly.
Inventing code words and proxies for everything. Sadly I must report that the hair washing: not even a proxy.
Thing 2: 28 days of ringing the bells.
Here’s what I want:
Lusciousness and bells.
This is part of the transition into Incoming Me.
It is going to involve lots of tiny rituals.
Ways this could work:
Same deal.
Processing on the Floop. Making a list.
I’ll play with…
Talking to slightly future me and getting some tips.
Thing 3: 30 ways to think about wine.
Here’s what I want:
This one is definitely a proxy. Proxy!
It’s not important what it means. The important part is: what do I know about wine?
And if I there were going to be wine, how would I set things up for that?
Ways this could work:
I have wineglasses but I don’t know where they are.
Things like that. Pattern.
I’ll play with…
Noticing the noticings and being receptive to this changing.
Finding out more about the parts of me who know how to do this.
Thing 4: A speedy perfect simple solution.
Here’s what I want:
There is a thing and it needs to work itself out immediately. Please.
Ways this could work:
I’m going to dance on it and deconstruct it and interview it and play with it and pray with it and I don’t even know what.
I’ll play with…
Trust trust trust trust trust trust trust.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted to release trauma and pain from the PTSD triggers, and wow. So much was released. This week I undid all sorts of rules and awful assumptions that got planted then, and that was big. Thank you.
Then I wanted to work with these yoga flows that have been coming into my body-brain through all the shiva nata, and progress.
The next ask was about announcing the announcings, which I have not done. Replanting that one. Tomorrow I’ll look at it to see if there is anything I am feeling conflicted about that might be making this one extra-sticky. Probably.
And I wanted to brunch the Stompopolis website, which has not officially happened but we are so very close, and I wrote a ton of writing, and I showed the Floop and everyone was hugely excited. Yes!
Finally I wanted to change a big stuck, and it completely shifted. I am thrilled about this. A good week, all in all. I mean, a crazy flipping hard one. But the things that got planted here went deep. Again. Even though I wasn’t thinking about them. Somehow that surprises me every single time. Oh well.
Also I want to report that I remembered to use the techniques in the Monster Manual, and it was the BEST. Seriously, past-me is a genius.
Play-filled comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Wanted: Your own personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
- You can also do these on your own or in your head. You can always call silent retreat!
- Leave your gwishes! Throw things in the pot!
- Things we try to keep away from: the word “manifest”, telling people how they should be asking for things, unsolicited advice.
- VPA amnesty applies, of course. Leave yours any time between now and next Sunday (or whenever, really) — it’s all fine by us!
xox
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Ooh, might be first here! Visions of Possibility & Anticipation for today:
#Thing 1
I want to meet a new want, a tiny gwish needs to be coaxed into being. There’s something hiding but I can’t quite see it yet.
Ways this could work
I can spend some time Working Hard on the Chores(proxy for daydreaming shh..) maybe with crayons? Slightly future me just muttered ‘sparkly ones’:-) so I’ll get some.
I’ll play with
A chat with slightly future me. Looking out for monsters & using the techniques in the colouring book.
#Thing two
Balance, I want to learn to walk a tightrope (proxy and kind of not both at the same time)
Ways this could work
Making time for it, in fact timers. I have a lemon kitchen timer and I’m not afraid to use it! Huge and tiny all at the same time. I may have just had an epiphany! Wow.
I’ll play with
Time, clocks, the local time space/continuum (it has 2 ‘u’s- who knew?) [just one guy of course!]
Going now as a little over-excited by the epiphany!
Visioning….
Thing 1: Guilt-free getting stuff done
I have a lot on my plate. Not as much as some people, maybe only ONE million things. Still, I want to get a lot of little bits and pieces that need tending to done, phone calls made, appointments set up, bits of paper taken here or dropped off there, bills paid, etc etc etc.
Last week I got a lot tidied up and set up ready for this week, so if I think of that as my grounding and aligning energy investment now I’d like to focus on letting that energy move and flow and saaaaiill.
I’ll play with:
– staying present (checking the calendar, hello day-ing, checking I have everything before I leave)
– relaxing and letting all my setting-things-up do its magic. I don’t have to do much now, just get out of my own way. MAKE SPACE.
– resisting letting things collapse into a heap, and dealing with any resistance (internal or computer-says-no variety) as it may arise
– humility/infinity. Do my best. Be receptive to however that turns out. Revue for next time.
Thing 2: capacity and energy consciousness
I’m still contemplating how to tune into and recognise my energy, MY happy-hum, the one that is most resonant of me-as-I-am-at-any-given-moment. I’m probably over-thinking it. What’s new? I’m planting this here as a gwish for clews and insights and resources to
make themselves known to mebecome visible as I grow the eyes that can see them. Okay, that sounds kind of gross but you know what I mean.I’ll play with:
– reminders to myself. Adding it into my Hello Day template. Writing the word ‘hum’ on my hands.
– flooping any monsterial resistance that shows up.
– pawsing! Tuning in. Turning down the volume on the drunken monkey chatter in my head. Somehow?
– der. HUMMING. Out loud. (Go go gadget dork tunes!)
*fairy dust*
Visions of Possibility and Anticipation! Yes!
Thing 1: Ease at home
I want ease at home before and after our trip. When we return, I want to walk in to a lovely, welcoming space. I want to do things – with ease – before we leave to make that happen.
Some things I can do::
– One obvious thing, based on stories other people have told: make sure there is nothing organic in the wastebaskets.
– Ask Slighly Future Me – the Me that is returning from the trip – what will make a good homecoming.
– Work with the Butler – tell him what I want.
Thing 2: EASE for Travel
What I want: for our upcoming trip to be filled with ease and flow and fun and magic.
The acrostic for Travel EASE is: Ease, Adaptability, Systems and Strategies, and Elimination.
What I can do:
– Do things that boost my Energy: keep hydrated, get sleep, wear comfortable clothes, use my force field. Avoid dairy products.
– Ways to help me be Adaptable: do Entry and Exit, set an intention for each segment of the trip. Have phone numbers where I can get information and assistance.
– Strategies and Systems to use: the usual things that have to be done about MrB’s health when away from home; anticipate what causes discomfort when traveling and prepare for that – e.g. noise-canceling headphones.
– What to Eliminate: excess reading matter and art materials, home-based worries and problems I can’t do anything about when I’m not there. Related: Interstitial cystitis is a problem of elimination, so be careful about that! Especially since it will sap my energy if I’m not.
Oooh! I needed that phrase this week. Magic Hebrew buffer phrase!
Thing 1: Travel ease
What I want: To get to Denver on this flight and find my car in perfect working condition (lalalalala) and then to have easy driving to Colorado Springs tomorrow and Taos on Wednesday. I want to get there. I am ready to get there.
Ways this could work: It just could.
I’ll play with: Making a list of resources in case this doesn’t exactly happen. Skipping some stones about the travel-anxiety. Talking to me who is already in Taos.
Thing 2: Words, words, words
What I want: To be writing again. With ease. In my voice.
Ways this could work: I could not force it. I could let it be okay. I could just keep writing for the Floop like I have been and see if the public writing comes back too.
I’ll play with: Letting it be okay. Remembering that I’m in transition. Writing what I feel like I writing and not writing what I don’t. Maybe some shiva nata? Wearing my writer’s hat and sitting in the lavender garden in Taos, just to see how it feels.
Thing 3: Projecting-shmojecting
What I want: To stop trying to make plans or anticipate how I’m going to be or feel on X day and to just be here.
Ways this could work: …
I’ll play with: Oh, lots of in-my-body stuff. Non-sucky yoga. Shiva nata. Asking myself, “Where am I?” Skipping stones. Reminders.
Okay, that’s all for now. Mostly I just want smooth transitions and ease this week. I always want ease though… Hmm…
Happy week everyone!
All righty then! It’s a brand new week, and my Secret Mission/Once and Future Self is in charge! This should be interesting.
Thing 1: a hot date with my sweetie!
Here’s what I want: For our date this Saturday, I’ve chosen a place that I’ve been wanting to visit for years. This is going to be a bit of an adventure. I really want it to be fun and sweet and satisfying!
Ways this could work: Do the research ahead of time, to help things go smoothly, and let the research be part of the fun. Take responsibility for my own experience, yes, of course. Be willing to take the lead in a warm, loving, “taking care of my date” sort of way, but only if we’re both enjoying that dynamic.
I’ll play with: being playful!
Thing 2: a hot date with me.
Here’s what I want: For my artist date this week, I’d like to sit peacefully in a comfortable coffee shop, and dream, and scheme. I want to really dive into the partly-formed business ideas I’ve been having lately, sketch them out on paper, and illuminate them!
Ways this could work: Schedule the time. Make it sacred.
I’ll play with: wild imaginings, faith, confidence! (A monster just popped up and called me a confidence artist, i.e., a con artist, but I know exactly where that is coming from, and it’s neither fair nor true. We’ll talk later, monster.)
Thing 3: Dissolve-o-mation!
Here’s what I want: Some old patterns are re-surfacing, getting in the way of getting stuff done. I want to shift them, but playfully, even joyfully.
Ways this could work: I can re-visit the tools that I already have. I can put that secret Once and Future Self at the helm, and see what she comes up with.
I’ll play with: Ginormous amounts of Fairy Wonder Dust. When all else fails, it really works.
Hi, VPAs! I haven’t participated in you in ages!
Thing 1: Ease and happiness in this transition into post-honeymoon life.
Ways this could work: Ritual. Bedtime. Yoga + meditation. Lists written in the special pink pen. Limited contact with screens, and more being outdoors.
I’ll play with: Seeing how my evening tonight could *become* my practice, instead of being separate from it. Also, happy cleaning time before bed.
Thing 2: Business blossoming. It’s getting to be time for my business to flower, meaning more time to coach people and teach people. Yay!
Ways this could work: Well, more ritual. Writing stuff down instead of piling it all up in my head. Unblocking the channels that have currently collected a bit of dust.
I’ll play with: Sitting at the table with computer, pen and papers, and writing things down. Making spaces for things, and putting them there.
Much love to everyone’s wishes this week.
I’m going to try out a VPA! This is exciting. Here I go!
Thing 1:
This is a proxy: I want a dance partner again. I want to go dancing and have new dancing shoes and I want it to be filled with ease and clarity. I want her to be a beautiful dancer and I want the dance to just *flow*. I want to keep breathing while we dance and I want to spend more time dancing and less time thinking about the dance. I want my dancing to flow with my wife and I too, not just me. I’ve got a family and I want my dancing to support and harmonize with them, not detract.
Ways this could work:
I could ask some of my potential dance partners to go dancing with me. I could put out ads for dancing again. My wife and I could go out and introduce ourselves to dance communities and practice dancing out in the world a bit more.
I’ll play with:
I could do Shiva Nata (heh, dance for dancing) and come up with a brilliant and spectacular solution. I’ll meditate on the task in front of me to keep myself clear and not get lost longing for dance shoes. I’ll continue redefining my old stories about not being able to dance.
Thing 2:
I want my business to grow! I want more viewers on my blog and I want more coaching sessions to practice helping people! Maybe even in person clients! I want to make money!
Ways this could work:
I can talk to all the people I know! I can ask people to answer questionaires! I can post on as many websites as I can think of! And I can do Shiva Nata to keep destuckifying the stuck about marketing!
I’ll play with:
Shiva Nata! Reading my book more! Doormousing and Galley-vanting! And my new apprenticeship!
Thanks for witnessing everyone, and thanks for the space Fluent Self 🙂
As we say in Spanish: “por alla, por alli, por aca, por aqui.” Yes I’ve been doing that too.
I’ve noticed my Spangly Revue gets neglected, so let me revue! past gwishes first:
-Ease-filled transition to Back to Work, kIds etc. so far so good. I gave myself lots of tiem eysterday to prep for today and things are going well.
-Project There is No Spoon–firsdt we shifted in the right direction, then the wrong. need to re-ask after the New Moon, see what was successful last time
-Project EoS–need to renew commitment to this. And i have started some baby steps ntowards this
-Sloop (daily writing practice)–i have really good resources and gwishes and plans here, even if i wrote for a whole whopping HOUR all of last week. But i have set up soem goals, incentives and structure to keep the Sloop afloat. We may be becalmed now, but i know a freshening breeze will fill the sails soon. Not worried about this one, letting it be.
Soem new wishes:
-return to yoga and pilates
-progress on No Spoon, EoS and Proposal 2.Maybe art of embarking for them?
-ease, gentleness and elegant planning with the kids
-good transition to Bak to School ( we have weeks for this, but I’m thinking ahead)
I commit to:
-finding the fun, acknowledgiung the good, Sitting, Flailing and Pranayama
-my Sloop tasks
-lying in the sun reading “Cathcing Fire” for an hour on my days off.
Hello to all the wishes and gwishes and possibilities!
I have been sitting with my Hmmm, what to VPA feelings for two days now and I’m still not sure I’ve got one. Last week was big. So big! So perhaps what I’ll gwish for is just a little more settling and reconfiguring and understanding about the big shifts. Yes please!
From last time…
1. I am rocking the container, as desired.
2. I made up a card for the Order of the Scope and Glass and worked on my “yes and” skills! Gwishing more of this, too.
3. The great big talk was talked! And life is really really amazing on the other side of it, better than I ever could have hoped for! Yaayyyy!
Kisses to the wishes and gwishes, everything into the pot.
mmmm…. Midweek visions!
So, for this week, I’d like to keep playing with my new pattern for incoming me. And let her take charge of all the meetings and meeting prep. Let it be so!
And I’d like to find exactly what I’m looking for at the store later, without having to stay so long I get panicked – or, even better, let incoming me do the shopping, and skip the panic attack all together. Into the pot!
And lovely easy sweet writing on all sorts of things. To reach, and the words appear. Into the pot!
Oh oh! I want to clear out commitments. All those old ties are just strings that need to be snipped. Either by me doing them, or gently excusing myself. Snip snip snip!
**Invisible sekrit airmail delivery of sparkle points to all – scheduled to arrive just when we need it the most, and have forgotten its on the way!**