Personal ads! They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my Sunday ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!
Let us dooo eeeet.
Thing 1: The Week of Biggification!
Here’s what I want:
So I’m teaching a thing that is quite possibly the most crazy-inspired brilliant life-changing thing ever, and I am far too excited about it.
It’s eight days of Biggification* in Asheville, North Carolina. November 3-10.
* Biggification! Mindful biggification! Growing yourself and your thing in creative, fun, hilarious ways, dissolving fears, making things happen, coming up with the most genius plan possible.
Even though this program is already more than half full (because my clients insisted on first dibs), it would probably be a good thing if I put up the copy and announced it and stuff like that.
Right now I cannot even begin to describe how impossibly fabulous this is, but you can at least peek at the outrageously great itinerary to get an idea.
Ways this could work:
I can do the three things that need to be done for the HAT (Havi Announces a Thing) page to go live.
One of those things? Remembering to un-password-protect it. Right.
I can write love letters to the right people.
And dance dance dance.
My commitment.
To remember how much fun this is going to be.
To adore all my people, and remember (remind them too) that even if we can’t be together this time, we will do wonderful things together eventually.
To bring this joyfulness and appreciation and silliness into every single thing I do related to our Week of Biggification. No work. Just play.
Thing 2: Being immune to other people’s angst. A perfect, simple solution.
Here’s what I want:
Someone close to me is dealing with pretty high levels of existential angst right now. Oh! So much hard.
I want to be able to love this person with my whole heart, and still take care of myself so that my distress doesn’t get triggered by their distress.
Ways this could work:
I can remember that I already know how to do this.
I can practice separating my stuff from their stuff. Reminding myself that I get to work on what’s mine and not on anything else.
What else? I can process the process and do a bunch of writing about it. Have conversations with my monsters, and with my sad, scared selves.
I can work with Hiro‘s excellent advice to create safe spaces for myself.
My commitment.
To be receptive to perfect, simple solutions other than the most obvious one (me doing more with my stucknesses).
To avoid certain topics of conversation.
To be loving to myself when I can, and trust that it will come when I can’t.
Thing 3: So close to done!
Here’s what I want:
I have a project that I have been projectizing and it is so almost ready.
It really just needs a few more hours of love from me.
But this week has client calls and teleclasses and visitors and brunching the Week of Biggification.
Can it be done? And how? And in a way that doesn‘t involve a descent into madness? Oh I hope so.
Ways this could work:
Not sure.
Maybe some early morning cafe time with Selma (my duck) and Mack (my computer).
Maybe some writing to myself about creating pockets of time like we did on the Rally (Rally!)
My commitment.
To want this. And to trust that wanting counts.
To stay connected to myself. To sneak off and have a sexy love affair with this project.
To hang out with metaphor mouse some more.
Thing 4: Anyone driving from San Francisco to Portland?
Here’s what I want:
Last week I asked for costumes for the Playground, and then LeeAnn made us the charming offer of three boxes she has.
She’s in San Francisco. We’re in Portland. Maybe we can find someone who is planning a drive up the coast who would like to perform the mensch-like service of costume-delivery!
Ways this could work:
I can put out the ask here, among my lovely readers and into the ether.
We could look on Craigslist. My amazing uncle Svevo, who often does odd and unlikely things — some of which involve creative ways to move things from one place to another — might have ideas too. I can ask him!
Also, I can choose a date by which I would like this to happen, so that if it doesn’t, we can arrange to have her ship them to us and pay the costs.
My commitment.
To appreciate the wealth of creative ideas and possibilities that are available to me.
To be receptive to this working out in a way I might not normally think of.
To dance happily around the costume room in my feather boa, of course.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
Oh the joyfulness. So yes, I asked for a wild rumpus of costumery, and all sorts of wonderful people gave me ideas and suggestions.
And then some people offered to mail us things! Hooray!
If you are one of those people, you can send things here:
The Fluent Self
1526 NE Alberta St #218
Portland, OR 97211
United States
Thank you!
I also made an ask related to a dining room table for Hoppy House, and, more specifically, figuring out why I am stuckified around this. Some progress was made.
A gorgeous table was peeked at. The realization that we may need someone with a truck was pondered. And it was thought about. So this case is not yet closed but I will keep thinking about it.
And then I wanted to do some more thinking about my Shivanautical epiphany that not everything needs a response, and that has definitely been happening. A good week of VPA-ing, all in all. Happy.
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
What I’d rather not have:
- The word “manifest”.
- To be told how I should be asking for things.
- To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given advices.
Wishing love and good things for your Very Personal Ads! So glad for everyone doing this with me.
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You knew I had to go and check the flights, right? 🙂 And yes, I’ve found one at a decent price. Let’s hope it still holds true when your HAT is ready.
I know, I know, I’ve said in January that I wouldn’t be able to afford this retreat, and yet… it’s so precisely what I need right now (I’m ready for serious biggification! for real!) that of course, I have to consider it – and find a way to make it happen!
*crossing fingers that I do find a way to make it happen*
Hm, well, I guess that was my VPA! 😉
Earlier in the week I accidentally wrote a VPA on my blog. Also, about my blog. It looks generic and boring. I want it to feel me-ish. To become my internet home. A fabulous designer friend has agreed to create a me-based design. Now I just have to figure out how I want the new site to work and what I would look like if I were a blog/site. Right now all my brain can see is purple and black and it looks horrible even in there.
What I want:
I still need help with the cohesion. A way for it to all come together organically. Design and function.
Ways this could work:
I can trust that Ori knows me very well and will have ideas.
I can stew on it while in El Salvador since we won’t start until I get back any way.
I can list components so that we have a starting point for reference.
My commitment:
To be open to suggestions.
To be clear about what I want when I do figure it out.
To make one choice at a time until we get there, where ever there is.
.-= Kathryn´s last post … Sprinkles =-.
Eight Days of Biggification sounds perfectly marvelous. Here’s hoping the stars align for me to go.
I have what feels to me like an extremely important VPA this week. Two asks revolving around the same event.
This event is the climax of my thing. My beautiful baby that got borned and was even more beautiful than prophesied by her fairy godmothers. But while it’s been exciting and fun and so energizing I’ve now been brought up against the scary unknown parts–the dark shadowy places that I’m still not quite convinced I’m ready for. (Which I realized today, mirror exactly the dark shadowy places I’m not quite convinced I’m ready for in the rest of my life. Stoopid self-awareness!) So, I’m standing at the threshold and on Tuesday I have the opportunity to cross over.
Here’s what I want: Good golly, Miss Molly, I want to cross over to the other side dammit. Pass the test–join my people on the other side of the doorway.
Ways this could happen:
– I could use the energetic clearing techniques Hiro taught us in Sovreignty Kindergarten so I can stand tall in my artist queendom.
– Visualize me doing the thing the way I know I can and then just step into that.
– Shiva Nata on this pattern of contracting when that’s not what’s needed.
– I can talk to my mentors and allies and see if they have some insights that are sitting in my blind spot.
– Lots of Even Though statements
– I could draw my block — try to find out what the non-language part of my brain/body has to say about it.
– I could reframe to get to a state of levity and play about it rather than such a high stakes life and death THING. And also noticing and being compassionate with myself if I can’t get there.
My commitment
– To do these things.
– to meet myself where I am with love and compassion even though I’d just like to be done with it already.
– to rejoice mightily if I do cross over and if I don’t celebrate the fact that I tried and that there really will be other opportunities. I made this one, I can make others.
– to remember that this is a process and regardless of what happens Tuesday, recognize I am in a different place than where I started.
Here’s thing 2 that I want: I want my right people to be there, so that this event is a springboard.
Ways this could happen: I don’t know what else to do actually except send a reminder. The invite list is out there, my best guess of who my right people are are coming. So, I guess this is a VPA into the past that the work I did there is bringing the right people into the future. (Plus, I stacked the house in my favour with people who already know and love me so that should help with both asks right?)
The universe could surprise me?
My commitment:
To do some energy clearing in the theatre.
Ahhhhh! Scared! Excited! Wheeee! (I think)
.-= Christina´s last post … Taking the Measure =-.
Oh! I want to come to eight days of biggification. Not that I could. Or that it’s even for me. I’d just love to come hang out with you. And that’s so near me, too!
No. You don’t understand—I’ve been WAITING for VPA tomorrow b/c I have been formulating the perfect one all week. And then I find this has been up for—what? 2full hours? That the magical fairy elves could have been working on my VPA?
Okay. Breathe.
What I want: For my first ‘tater to show up. Commenter Dean finally pointed out the obvious: that I am an idea machine of the classic variety, and what I need is a facilitator—a ‘tater—to buddy up with, to get sh*t DONE. How great is that? So that’s what I’m after. One thing: a ‘tater.
Ways this might work: ‘Tater shows up! ‘Tater sees my VPA, I run into a ‘tater during my regular travels, I’m talking to someone about this idea or that and they’re all “Man, I’d love to work on something like that!” and I’m all, “‘Tater!” I don’t know. What do ‘taters look like, even? Where do they hang out? At the library? Under bridges?
My commitment: Staying alert. Keeping eyes/ears/mind open. Being receptive to possibility. LETTING GO (b/c my job is to come up with the ideas, not the facilitating.)
Last week’s VPA was okay. I didn’t get as much done as I’d like, but then, I never do. I’m fretting marginally less, I think. And I’m excited to ask for a weird, concrete thing. I call that “progress.”
Molto bene, y’all!
.-= communicatrix´s last post … Frrrrriday Rrrrround-up! =-.
I’m still sort of reeling from last week’s VPA. I called… and, well, her VM wasn’t working. But then I emailed. And she called me. And said, “sure, I’d love to work with you.” And we scheduled a future call. We’ll be moving forward!!
So now, it’s almost like if the VPAs are going to work this well, what can I ask for…and will I be ready when it shows up? I’m thinking yes. Right now, I’m barely sleeping because I’m so excited. It all feels so perfect for me, just the exact thing I’m supposed to be doing. I feel like I’m on fire in the best possible way.
What I want: To make sure I restore myself, get enough sleep, eat healthy and exercise, because I don’t want to burn out. I want to sustain.
Ways this could happen: I could go to bed earlier. I could schedule a little less. I could make sure I read for pleasure, not just work-related stuff. I could meditate morning AND evening.
My commitment: My big 3 — exercise, meditation. And read 1/2 hour before bed, to shut up my mind.
My other VPA… I want to complete the book contract.
Ways this could happen: I need to write steadily every day. Otherwise, if something miraculously comes together or it turns out I don’t need as many revisions as I thought, that’d be great too. I am open.
My commitment: to revise at least 2 scenes every day until next Chicken.
Thanks, guys. I can’t even tell you how grateful I am for VPAs!
.-= Cathy´s last post … Twitter-phobic =-.
*waves*
I’m a new reader, so this is only the second VPA I’ve been around for, but it looks so wow that I can’t help but join in. So…
Thing 1
What I want:
Healing. I’ve got RSI diffused in both forearms. Doctors don’t know what to say other than “stretch, stretch, stretch, WORK!” while I look at them like, “I can’t write! I’m a WRITER!” It’s been a year. I need a breakthrough before mind-bendiness sets in and I start screaming from the lack of anything to do.
Ways This Might Work:
Go BACK to the physical therapist and see if there’s anything more we can do.
Talk to a personal trainer about the same thing.
Stop using my arms for anything at all and give them the best chance they can to heal.
My Commitment:
To make the phone calls I need to get those appointments set up.
To find some way of doing yoga. (I’ve read a lot about that helping.)
To do my best not to type more than necessary.
Thing 2
What I want: A mysterious fairy to come down from on high and make voice-recording or voice-to-text not so big, scary, and impossible to connect with on a creative level. I could get SOME writing done if not for that, but right now, I have nothing but a sore throat and crammed head.
Ways This Might Work:
I can let my throat rest and try again.
I can find a website where someone will have exercises posted for such connecting. (Or the lovely people here could offer suggestions. ^^)
I can try various kinds of soothing tea.
I can try other forms of writing. (Maybe a different one will stick.)
My Commitment:
To be open to changing thing.
To be patient. (No matter how frustrating.)
To love myself more. (And not type a whole lot… oh the irony.)
Thing 3
What I want: DIRECTION. I feel so lost and whooshy and like I can’t find my footing. There are a couple things I might want to do, a way I know I want to live, and a dream of happiness in the hazy future, and I’m not sure how to bring them together.
Ways This Could Work:
I can draw and mentally walk my butt through more labyrinths (THANK YOU, Havi, for the idea!) while I think about this.
I can find some insight locked in the pages of my favorite blogs.
I can find a book the same way.
I can have an experience that helps me decide one way or the other.
My Commitment:
To try my hardest to let go of expectations.
To listen to the advice coming my way.
To do my best to stop freaking out.
~*~
Much love to you Havi! Thank you for everything!
My ask this week is to properly announce my writing workshop this week! With appropriate fanfare and right-people-findingness.
Yep. That’s it. To let everyone know, so that the people who need to be in it can be in it.
My commitment: to spread the word as much as I can. To be proud of what I’m giving, and sail forth with that conviction.
.-= Amna´s last post … A Hybrid Manifesto =-.
Oh it feels so yummy to be hanging around here more again! I’m glad things are calming down enough where I can focus on non-emergency taking-care-of-myself stuff again. *sigh of relief*
Still getting better at asking for helps, so here goes:
What I want:
To open the doors of my site wider, and find more people I can help. People who aren’t already obsessed with astrology… because I love those people and they’re great, but I know there are more people I can be reaching.
Ways this might work:
I could talk to people more about what I do. People might see my comments around the internets, come visit, and decide my tools are something they can use. Maybe someone will find it and share it with someone else they know. I could make more of the little tools that have been floating around in my brain. I could tweak my site to make it easier to navigate.
My commitment:
To go back to the Twitter bar and start hanging out again sometimes. To focus on writing really useful stuff. To push myself just a little more even though it’s scary. To fix my site nav!
Thanks for the opportunity to send this out there… it feels good to get realigned.
.-= Shannon Garcia´s last post … Free Download! Building Momentum with Moon Cycles =-.
@Communicatrix! If you find where the ‘taters hang out, will you let me know? I’ve been baiting traps setting out milk and cookies for them every night for what seems like years, but no luck. Clearly, I’m doing it wrong.
My Very Personal Wish this week:
To have the courage, focus and energy to finally put the new Circus thing out there in the world. Let other people see it and become addicted. And I want an opening ceremony! Oh, yes yes please!
Ways this could work? I could ask folks on Twitter and a couple of groups I’m part of to participate in a circus parade, or something.
Someone I know could suggest a totally brilliant idea.
I could be hit over the head with a brilliant and effective idea.
I don’t know. This isn’t a fully fledged asking idea, after all. But it DID just give me the enegy I was looking for, so yay for self-fullfilling VPA’s!
8 days of biggification. Sounds amazing.
My VPA: Clarity X2
Two separate things right now in need of clarity. Don’t want to get into specifics. When I picture these two patterns they both appear murky, muddy, brownish-gray and indistinct. I want clarity, dammit! These two patterns have been around for so long I can’t even imagine my life without them and… I’m ready for something to shift and for some beam of light to break through the murkiness.
Ways this could happen:
Honesty, I don’t know. I’ve been working with these two patterns for so long that I’m at a total loss. Surprise me.
My commitments:
-To ask for clarity (here).
-shivanata followed by some extreme relaxing
-journaling, dialoguing with these patterns
-movement – walking, hiking
-being quiet in nature
-to give myself permission to not have it all figured out.
Bueno!
.-= Larisa´s last post … Raccoons- Relaxation- and the Absolute Rightness of Being YOU =-.
Being immune to other people’s angst — ohhh, I can relate! That’s often a hard one for me.
This week, I am asking for — hey, this just came to me, and it feels absolutely right — systems. I would like time and clarity to realize what is and is not working for me, in terms of my day-to-day routines and habits, and some fresh inspiration to help me make changes that will feel good and make it easier to do the things I dream of doing.
How this can happen: Simply asking the questions is a good start! I can bring the questions to my morning pages and see what emerges. I can do Shiva Nata and be open to the epiphanies.
My commitment: To believe in myself and be kind to myself. To pay attention. To take notes. To be open.
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … Post-getaway post =-.
Update on Last Week: I couldn’t remember what I’d asked for until I went to look, and was pleasantly surprised to find I’d gotten both things! I managed to get enough rest to keep work on track, so that the many big things I needed to do for big client got done, and I got my stack of cartoons finished and started on the next group of illustration stuff. Awesome.
Thing 1: A successful launch to my birthday month art sales.
What I want: For the work to get done and people to actually come visit and like the way I’m setting up the sales, the ideas I had, and to buy things.
How this could happen: I’ll finish up all the stuff that needs doing before the 1st. People can RT and talk about it. People who have been wanting to buy but not sure could use this chance. Something awesome that will surprise me.
My commitment: To keep plugging away at what needs doing. To listen if people send me suggestions. To be open to possibilities. To allow myself to refine the individual art piece pages when I’m inspired to without feeling like I have to work on all of them.
Thing 2: Artistic motivation
What I want: I feel like I’m filled with inspiration but no energy to let it out, so I’d like to get some motivation and energy going to work on some of my works in progress.
How this could happen: Sleep and naps and rest. Walks and sunshine. Setting it up ahead of time. Making space for it. Being surprised one day by the desire to just do it. Something else I’m not thinking of.
My commitment: To keep the space if it shows up, and not let other things distract me. To work on the things I’m inspired to work on and let the others languish a bit longer instead of trying to do it all at once. To try new ideas and new variations on old ideas. To try to keep the inspiration going no matter what happens with Thing 1. To rest when I there’s quiet for it.
.-= Amy Crook´s last post … Monster in Daisies =-.
Thing 1: The flexible schedule to be as dreamy as I imagine and childcare is not an issue
What I want: I start a new contract tomorrow. The job is in my neighborhood and flexible. I told them what I wanted at the interview and I want that to be the work reality. Most of the work is at home and I don’t want home to be work all the time.
How this could happen: Set times for myself. Keep computer in one room, so that I don’t have access to it. Call mother in law and discuss. Be clear with rest of committee about what I am capable of.
My commitment: Me and Baby come first. To not sneak computer into living room or bedroom. Give myself credit for the work I do. Set up meetings when it is convenient for me.
Thing 2:
What I want: I want to help people online work through their stuff using drama.
How this could happen: I could just offer it. Create and record it and put it out there. I could stop reading drama therapy books and just trust that I know what I’m doing — I have been doing it in person for 12 years, silly. I could get the word out there that I am doing this and see if people are interested.
My commitment: Write it down. Do it and learn from it. Remember that drama means “to do” and this is doing something.
Thing 3: To ensure it is in a format to send. Print out copies. Buy envelopes. Remember that the play is not me, it is a play. Write a catchy synopsis so people know what it is.
What I want: Someone else to produce my new play, The Changers.
How this could happen: Submit it to theatres. Submit it to arts schools. Talk about the play. Show a sample of the play and workshop on my website. Call schools. Call other teachers I know.
My commitment:
.-= kerri twigg´s last post … This moment =-.
Uppy-dates from Last week:
I didn’t get ever-elusive ask 1, however, I figured out WHY I don’t have it. so Ask 1 this week is for softness around a resolution to ask 1.
ways this could work: I could stumble across the answer online or in a bookstore. I could dream it. it could be a shivanautical epiphany. i could find the right person to talk to about it. Something else I haven’t thought of.
my commitment: to dance 5 minutes on this pattern. keep looking online & in bookstores for answers.
I also didn’t get ask 2, but i think the right answer is in 8 days of biggification. so. this weeks ask 2 is to be able to go to Asheville.
ways this could work: I could come in to the money to go. Day job could stay out of the way for 8 days. I could … I have no idea how to make this work. But i’ve wanted it to work for months. since I saw it on the events page months ago.
my commitment: to not ignore the whacked out ideas i have for going to biggifying week. to jump thru whatever hoops appear. to walk around the hoops if thats the right way. to GO.
best wishes on everyone’s asks!!
.-= Deanna´s last post … Liza Minelli- Naked Friday & other weird tales of HR =-.
I’m also still pondering not everything needs a response.
Last week, I asked for a Car Buying Guide, and we got confirmation that the guy we’re working with is that guy. Still no car, but we think the perfect one is on its way for tomorrow or Tuesday. And also, I asked to learn not to be bossy around this car buying issue with Steve, and I caught myself being bossy and apologized. It’s about noticing.
VPA #1 Two more paying photography gigs in the next month to help pay for our honeymoon in Oregon at the end of Sept. I’d like to earn $1,000 or more.
**Ways this could work.
I could actually put up the photog site I’ve been planning in my mind, and I could actually tell people about it.
I could also make and put up fliers at places I frequent, such as work
I could tell people on Facebook I’m looking for this work
I could meditate on my ‘money is coming to me easily and effortlessly’ mantra
**My commitment
To catch myself thinking about why I *can’t possibly do this stuff this week* and then have a conversation with that monster about what she’s protecting me from.
.-= lynn @ human, being´s last post … I can’t =-.
I wish everyone the best with their VPAs for the week.
Last week I asked for stamina and then everything fell apart and went wrong. And I had a (pleasant, short)giggle of recognition. (I really had been surprised with my … emotional stability these past few months.)
I have no “asks” for the week. That’s an odd feeling – I need rest (and I’m about to go to bed). I have clarity and direction (and a Robot Deadline – 6 day 3 hours and counting). (Woot!) I’m just going to stay on task and stay with the practice.
Good Weeks everyone!
8 days with Havi…. a girl can dream, right?
Update on last week’s VPA:
TWO teacher yogis reached out – yay! Once I get a bit more settled into the year, I’m going to figure out how we can support each other.
My calf is pretty much all better now – yay for giving myself time to heal.
I’m not jonesing for anything in particular right now other than another pleasant week with my new students.
Here’s much finger crossing and first star wishing for everyone else’s VPAs!
.-= Tami´s last post … It’s All Yoga- People… An Interview With Michelle Marlahan – Yoga Basics =-.
Well, I am hoping I am not too late. Is there such a thing I wonder?
I have just one ask:
I have a thing, which once I was very excited and driven about and boy was I going to change the world, or my world at the very least. To begin with it went wild, people signed up to help, people signed up to take part and then… my partner in this thing pretty much pulled out.
The thing has now become a burden and I would very much like for it to transmogrify into the thing of joy and wonder it first was.
I would like some help with it – it feels too big to organise and work on by myself. More specifically – a group of wonder women who don’t need mummying would be wonderful.
I would like some inspiration as to how this can work.
I would like some bad ass connections which will make this go from a HUGE effort to effortless.
Some mad, crazy, wonderful people to join in with me and to think it is the most fun thing to do ever.
It’s due to take off next year, so there is time.
How this can happen:
Sudden inspiration!
Magic!
Coincidink and serendipity!
Quietly it could sneak up on me.
Baby steps.
My commitment to this:
My first commitment is to put it out there that I need help. This tends to be my biggest hurdle, so that will be good.
My second is to go into all my already prepared paper work and change the dates on it.
Thirdly I shall ask the designer of my web page to change the date in the main pic to the new date.
That will be enough for this week I think!
Fingers crossed.
.-= Wormy´s last post … The You-ness of You =-.