Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my Sunday ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!
Let us dooo eeeet.
Thing 1: sequencing and timing.
Here’s what I want:
I have what might be the busiest week of my life coming up.
If you saw my schedule, you would cry.
Everything on it is a good thing, and a thing that needs to happen before I go to Asheville next week.
I would like order and brilliance and for the pieces to fall swiftly and cleanly into place. For one thing to further the next. For every single step to help the next one go click click click click into completion.
For things to happen in right timing.
Ways this could work:
I can remember to use my domino-ing technique.
Lots and lots of Shiva Nata, obviously.
Mise en place, as Cairene always reminds me.
Breathe breathe breathe.
I don’t know what else but I’m receptive to being pleasantly surprised.
My commitment.
To laugh hysterically at the crazy.
To flail and then flail some more.
To wake up early and tramp it up.
Thing 2: Halloween.
Here’s what I want:
It will be eleven years this February since I quit sugar.
My beloved Hoppy House is the one place where I never ever have to think about it.
I’m fine with letting other people happily do their own thing. I’m fine with the fact that people vary, to use a Paul-ism. And I make a point of not evangelizing.
And at the same time, it still just feels weird. I am not in love with the idea of personally passing out drugs to tiny people.
But who wants to be one of those healthier-than-thou people handing out organic soy alfalfa tempeh sprout sticks?
Ways this could work:
I don’t know.
We have a neighborhood full of adorable children. And I have a Playground full of pirate costumes.
So if we don’t end up turning off all the lights and hiding and watching Pushing Daisies on Netflix …
Is there a not-horrible-for you candy that I can give? Or a non-candy alternative that will not make me a hateful person?
If so, I want to know what my options are.
If not, I want to be able to just go ahead and overload those adorable tiny little brains with things that make them crazy — and not feel bad about it. Or watch Pushing Daisies and not feel bad about that.
Basically I just want to not feel bad about things. This isn’t about Halloween. It’s a sovereignty ask.
My commitment.
To ask the neighbors for suggestions.
To find out more about the sovereignty stuck: where is the guilt and what does it want?
Thing 3: for some things to work themselves out.
Here’s what I want:
Still working on the thing from last week with a challenge at my Playground space.
Over the gah conflict part of it, but would still like a more peaceful resolution.
And there are some other things that could use peaceful resolving.
Ways this could work:
Let’s see.
I could stop caring about it.
Things could right themselves.
People could say “this is where I stand”, so I know where they stand.
My commitment.
Trust. Patience. Curiosity. Play.
To look for the gaps.
Thing 4: right people for Hiro’s amazing new class.
Here’s what I want:
I am so excited about this two-class series that I can hardly stand it.
The idea is closing out the year that was, and then planting all the good for the new. But way better than that.
It’s basically advanced Very Personal Ads, and Hiro is a terrific teacher and explainer.
Her exercises are like nothing else. This stuff goes deep. I cannot recommend this class highly enough.
And I want to see it packed full of people, because I need her work out in the world. It makes it easier for me to do mine.
Ways this could work:
I can tell you about it and give you the link.
And help her in any way I can.
My commitment.
To do just that.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
This was a hard group of asks.
I wanted a place to stay for SXSW — and still need some suggestions. Thanks to everyone who told me about who they like for massage.
Next up was ease in conflict resolution. And while the situation hasn’t been resolved, I wrote a clear and sovereign letter, stood my ground and have been working on the part of it that’s my stuff. I no longer want to throw up, so … progress.
I was hoping for some decorations for my Wishroom, and someone on Twitter offered to send me a hammock. Nice. This one still needs some work, so I’ll have to mess around with it some more.
And I wanted next steps on the five year plan. And while that didn’t exactly happen, I’ve been putting in the emotional groundwork. So it’s happening. Just underground. I might want to re-ask and focus in on the structure and sequencing.
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
What I’d rather not have:
- The word “manifest”.
- To be told how I should be asking for things.
- To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given advices.
Wishing love and good things for your Very Personal Ads! So glad for everyone doing this with me.
And postscripting to remind you about the Great Ducking Out and how extremely great it is. We have five people coming so far and they are awesome. Would love to hang out with you too, if there’s a way to make it work.
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I went through a similar dilemma with the candy question a couple of years ago when I started avoiding HFCS. My solution was to hand out party-favor size packets of Play-Doh and crayons. The big box stores sell non-candy options in big bags this time of year.
For Halloween treats — perhaps mini-boxes of raisins? I remember that they were marketed as “Nature’s Candy” for a while when I was a kid.
I just got home from a showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, complete with a shadow cast — great fun! It’s 3:30 AM here, and writing my VPA feels like a wonderful way to ground all that crackling energy before I go to bed.
Wanted: The bicycle of my dreams — and all the wonderful changes that I suspect would come along with it.
We went bike exploring today, and I got to try out several models, enough to discover the wild and wonderful (and new to me!) world of recumbent and crank-forward bicycles. Flying down the road in comfort and style! Spending more quality time with my body! Planning bicycling tours to take with my family, dreaming of a future when, perhaps, I can reduce my time driving a car, perhaps someday not even own a car anymore…
Oh, my dear sweet future bike: You are supremely comfortable. You are strong. You are stable. (And you are probably blue. At least, I hope you are, but I’ll keep an open mind.)
How this can happen: I can keep doing research, keep dreaming, keep envisioning. I can save my shekels. I can be patient. This one will happen; I hope it happens soon, but I can wait for the right time, and the right bike.
My commitment: To love it faithfully when it comes my way. To ride with the wind in my hair and a smile on my face.
Marzipan toothbrushes, mebbe? That would be pretty funny, imo, although I’m told I have a quirky sense of humor.
Or maybe that should just be the name of a band. 😉
About last week’s asks:
Thing 1 – yes. Strength and sanctuary provided. Not sans screwing up/feeling inadequate in assorted respects, but the important thing is that I came through as best I could.
Thing 2 – ideal anklet not yet on my radar, but I did find one with a tiny handcuff charm on it that was too fun to resist.
Thing 3 – yes! The text is on my easel; there is room for me to move my chair in front of it. Now to excavate the paper…
For this week, my numero uno ask is to meet my reviewing deadlines, preferably without losing too much sleep
Ways this could work/my commitment –
— Invoking sovereignity (aka my “I get to say so because I rule” duchess thing). A good deal of my stuck has to do with wanting to be fair and honest and kind and entertaining, and while these are not mutually exclusive, there has been some tying of self into knots with the assistance of assorted monsters.
— Keeping in mind that getting sick not only messes with my ability to meet deadline, it screws up my social life big-time, and taking appropriate self-care measures to steer clear of invading germs. Which include getting enough sleep.
— Defer other things that want to be made/mended/visited/addressed until the articles get filed. Reassure myself that there will be time for them later. This includes not beating up on myself for putting art mojo on hold. (Maybe in a paper fort?)
That’s it for this week, in large part because getting some more sleep right now sounds really good. Wishing everyone the best with their asks.
Good luck with the Hallowe’en thing.
And this week I am full of the asks. There’s so much going on, and the possibilities are very exciting. So…
Thing #1: I’ve seen an awesome job advertised that would be so perfect for me. What I want is to get it, and the first step is to send in a great application this week that will get me an interview.
Ways this could work:
– looking through the add specification and the application form and not rushing my response, letting ideas percolate through my brain
– doing some shiva nata on it
– calling up the contact lady and having a quick chat about the role
My commitment:
– curiosity and interest over anxiety
– not beating myself up if that doesn’t happen
– if it’s not getting done take a few minutes to think why
Thing #2: I want to get my first burlesque routine practised and my costume finished this week
How this could happen:
– remembering this is fun not something I need to force myself to do
– remembering it doesn’t have to be perfect
– it will all just come together
My commitment:
– to stop when I’m feeling tired
– to allow myself to enjoy the over the top excitement of it
And I’m sure I had something else, but right now I’ve completely forgotten! But yay for this week and seeing how these asks are going to play themselves out!
last year i handed out play-doh! i got a big bag full of small containers of it and the kids around here loved it. i was ready for them to be less than impressed but each one of their faces lit up when they saw it. “play doh!!!!!”
i found it at the grocery store in the halloween candy section.
The ad I placed a while back for the perfect office helper to handle things while I went to a 7 day writing & meditation retreat with Susan Piver was answered by the perfect person and I was able to get daily dispatches letting me know everything was fine.
What I would like:
For the writing to continue.
Ways this could happen: I could write. I could form a group of people who want to sit quietly and then write. I could find a good space for writing at the library.
My commitment: to sit 5 days a week. to look for a good space. to schedule time. to be open to writing group people.
Andrea and Kathleen, I love the ideas of Play-Doh and raisins. I was thinking of Matchbox cars, but I don’t know if you can get them in bulk and they don’t appeal to everybody.
This week I’m not sure how to ask. There are a number of things that I’d like to be able to do that depend on other people behaving in a particular way that it’s not at all certain they’ll behave in, so I guess what I want to ask for is patience and understanding.
How it could work: I could do some more Shiva Nata (oh, and I need to contact you, Havi, about that). I could practice breathing techniques. I could front-load on things that make me actively happy, so that I’m in a receptive mood if things don’t go just so. I could spend a LOT more time being creative, because that often puts me in an understanding and patient mood.
My commitment: I will not allow disappointment if things don’t go right to kill my enthusiasm, drive, or mood. And I will not become paralyzed if things DO go right, on the grounds that when’s the last time THAT happened?. 🙂
Love and fulfillment to all of you. ♥
Progress on last week,
Josian wrote that a Dance of Shiva class could happen sometime on the east coast – so thank you! When???
Havi, I almost wrote with ideas for your wishing room last week, but somehow I got the message that you were asking for a step before that – just what I got.
Halloween goodies – Maybe trinkets? Cool plastic rings or pirate patches?
This weeks VPA:
* earrings – always cool dangly earrings
* More ideas about how to take care of myself. This week I realized I have an inner “nana.” She’s got big brown eyes, grey hair, gives great back tickles and says only soothing, reassuring things. Kind of like the monster antidote. I wonder if there are more like her. I’m calling them my “soothe-sayers.”
* To make time and feel energy for some organizing of notebooks. Closing doors. I get that ugh feeling when I “have” to organize and when the list feels like rebuke.
* A mentor for Focusing work or Dialogue work that lives within radius of my home.
What I can do:
* Dance of Shiva
* Spend time with nana and ask her if she has friends
* Ask here for ideas about mentors. Follow up on the one name I have already.
* Use metaphor mousing (thank you Havi – for this delicious tool)for new ways to think about organizing notes.
My committment:
I won’t rush. I’ll spend more time being with myself in order to find out what is required.
More sleep.
I’ll work on invoking inner nana when I’m pushing myself or to talk to the You’re Bad if you don’t get it Done (Dun, Da Dun Dun) and the apathy (Apatha) monsters. Come to think of it, nana might make a great negotiator.
That’s it for now.
I was going to say oatmeal-raisin cookies – pretty sure I ran across a sugar-free one – but the Play-Doh thing… Nothing tops that. You could extend that to just about any major art supply and I think they’ll love you. More like a mini-Christmas (YAY! Christmas!) than Halloween.
So!
Very Personal Ad #9
Update on last week!:
Thing 1 was direction. And now I’m going in a totally different one. It’s one I’ve been bouncing across, but I keep pulling away, trying to reserve some of myself for me, and I’m afraid that if I let myself be drawn back into the world of helping others, the past will repeat itself: I will be cold, and starving, and alone, and there will be no one there to take care of me.
Thing 2 was healing, and that went well. I’m still jittery when I get triggered, and loud noises still trigger, but I survived the line of storms that went through without obsessively glaring at every cloud. Yay, me!
So, this week!
Thing 1: Loving guidance
What I would like: For this direction thing to transform into something more lovely. All of this push-push-push is killing me. I don’t want to push anymore. I’m older. Sick. Disabled. I don’t really have it in me to flog myself anymore.
How it could happen: Therapy!
New modes of thinking.
Being open and receptive to new forms of everything.
Getting through my head that one thing does not eliminate other things, it joins them.
My commitment: To do the therapy.
To get back on track with The Artist’s Way.
To remember that just because I don’t have an answer now doesn’t mean there isn’t one.
Shiva Nata!
Thing 2: Sovereignty (for all of us)
What I would like: For everyone in my life, and me especially, to stop feeling like I am going to save everybody.
How it could happen: I could make boundaries.
I could refuse to step over the boundaries in their life I know are supposed to be there and aren’t.
I could fix myself, and hopefully set a good (read: sane) example for them.
My commitment: THERAPY!
Unstucking the me-stick.
Talking to the ones who will listen.
Drawing those damn boundaries.
Remembering that, yes, I want to save people, but horses to water and all that.
(And that they’ve had YEARS of my life. It’s time to move on.)
Thing 3: Unstucking tho stick
What I would like: I have a lot of old patterns that are killing me. Really. I’m trying too hard to get nowhere at all because I expect that tho destination has to look like so. I don’t explore. I don’t live NOW. I live in the fantasy world in my head. My family is struggling to get by while I deal with me. (Legitimately and not, and it’s the not that kills me.) I’ve gotta unravel these things. And if it could all happen in one, big Unraveling, that would be awesome.
Of course, that said, I don’t want it to just snarl back up somewhere else. Sustained Unraveling, please.
How it could happen: THE-RA-PY.
Scouring though Havi, and Chris, and Jonathan, and Danielle and finding the pearls of wisdom I know are hidden within their mighty words.
Then, you know, actually doing something about it.
Taking it slow and easy. No forcing here.
Remembering that I’m still recovering and I have time. A dead me is no good to anybody.
My commitment: To be tip-top on the therapy this week.
To catch up with the Artist’s Way.
To not overload myself with the idea that the answers are outside when they’re really all internal.
To keep my load ultra-lite and recover.
Havi, thank you for including my new class in your VPA’s! *kisses* from a grateful heart…
About Halloween: In the past, I’ve given the kids crayons, playdoh, mini toys, little bottles of soap-bubble solution, face- and finger-paints, Lara Bars (which have no sugar, but are sweetened with dates and other good stuff and taste great), fake tattoos and sparkly stickers.
Happy VPA-ing, everyone. Wishing you all the magical fulfillment of your hearts’ desires.
Love, Hiro
Best of luck, Havi! Also yay Pushing Daisies!
What I want: Some extra creativity.
Being stuck on the job search is making me feel stuck *in general* — like I’m not allowed to do anything fun or interesting in the meantime, because I have greater obligations that I’m not fulfilling. Even though I know that to get to where I need to be, I need to be doing fun and interesting things. So much pressure and stuck and hurt.
How it could happen: In baby steps. Taking five minutes to dance in the middle of the day, or an hour to write a poem, maybe? Staying in touch with Joy and my other People who remind me of these things and give me love and sweetness and a little bit of space. Clearing out some workspace in my head so I don’t constantly have five to ten job applications *right in front of me* that need my *immediate, undivided attention.*
My commitment: To not give up, to stop myself when I hear myself saying “but I can’t do that!” and ask myself why not, and seriously, to give myself a bit of a break and not expect everything to happen all at once.
Many blessings on each of those. (I love the play-doh and crayon ideas! Or in the hooligan spirit of the season… sidewalk chalk.)
On the still-pending Wish Room decorations… I will throw you a link as soon as I finish my latest art project. I think you might dig it? Sovereignty Mandala. With coloring pages.
Love the Play-doh idea. The things that came to my mind were any sort of fruit/nut bars (Lara, Kind ..) or those thin fruit wrapper things from Trader Joes (I think it’s just fruit, no sugar).
Happy VPA-ing, everyone!
I second the idea for Play-doh!!! Or for other non-food trinkets.
Update on last week’s VPA where I asked for a mini-vacation. I followed through and called the spa place. They are able to accomodate my 3 night stay over Thanksgiving weekend and I get an extra 25% off since they are having a special in October & November. Sweet!!! The labs that I do for my classes when I return from my retreat are things I can do in my sleep and require no preparation. I even decided that I would use some additional time and NOT go to the my early morning portion of my job that following week either. While it really won’t be a vacation since I have teaching obligations, at least it will give me another 5 alarm-free days plus some time to catch up on the backlog of assignments for my doctoral program.
I don’t even have to cook this year on Thanksgiving as the couple we spend the day with (we are all free of family obligations) wants to tackle making a turkey this year. All I have to do is bring dessert to their house. We will reciprocate by hosting Christmas but by that time the semester will be over and I will be much less stressed, hopefully.
What do I want this week? I need focus. I have 3 deadlines all hitting on the same day and can easily get into the looping pattern where I get NOTHING done on any of them.
Ways this could work:
– Ditch the non-essential things off my todo list
– Delegate
– Inquire as to whether the one deadline has any wiggle room. The other do not.
My commitment:
– To keep the unessential things off my todo list
– To say “NO” to requests that are not an absolute emergency
– To remind myself that I do work best under pressure and that I have gotten through similar crunches in the past and survived
– To remind myself that the spa retreat is less than 5 weeks away!!!!
Here’s hoping everyone’s VPAs are granted!
Mmmm, Lara Bars–and I think they even make mini ones now. (Side note: One year my dad insisted on handing out raisin boxes for this same sugar-free reason and I was mortified. Luckily you don’t have an adolescent drama queen at home to contend with 🙂
What I want: To button up this little thing I’m working on and infuse it with some of the delight and ease and buoyancy it’s really all about. To find a charming way to string the elements together like twinkly lights.
Ways this could happen: After I hand the SFD off for review today, my mind could be free to make new twinkly-light-stringing connections. Said reviewer could make genius structural suggestions. Something utterly obvious and perfect could suddenly occur to me. This week!
My commitment: So much Shiva Nata it’s silly. To do other things that infuse ME with delight, ease, flow, buoyancy. (Bouncing! Yay, I now have a bouncer!) To keep my eye out for things that naturally flow and float, for things that are naturally sustainable and easy. To protect Thursday and give that day over to this thing.
Happy wishing!
I remembered the other thing. It seems so frivolous that I’m almost thinking – I cannot possibly put this up. But frivolity is sometimes necessary too.
Ask the third – I want a cheval glass. (Seriously sick and tired of trying to put on make-up and put outfits together when my largest mirror is the back of a reasonably small hairbrush.) Preferably a wooden framed one you rest on the floor against the wall. It’s needs to either be home deliverable or pick-up-able from somewhere that’s super easy to get to in Sussex.
How this could work:
– I could ask people whose taste I like for suggestions
– someone reading this could leave a suggestion
– serendipity
My commitment:
– Not to buy something hideous because I’m convinced that nothing better will turn up
halloween treats! – erasers, pencil caps, colored pencils, note cards, mini books, mini puzzles, mini notebooks – kids seem to love school supplies.
i want:
my cold to really be going away this quickly.
This week i’ve been remembering your no-sugar thing and wondering if you’ll ever tell us how you do it. It sounds like a great but challenging ideal. It’s just been coming up in my mind a lot lately.
I could ask for so many things but I’ve been in tears all weekend over one thing so that’s all I can ask.
Thing 1: a simple, sovereign & supported answer.
Here’s what I want:
I’m a final year undergraduate student.
I have choices to make.
Too many options; all with major downsides/restrictions.
Masters courses –
at Sussex – which of the two should I choose?
how will i afford it?
can i get different placement experience here?
at Reading – can I spare 90 minutes a day of travel (=£1,000) and lose that sleep?
can i lose the support here and live back at home?
will i gain as much from it?
will i go crazy without my Sussex friends- make new ones?
there is possible monetary support for doing a masters which might make either option more viable.
Gap year to earn money & experience?
– living at home again
– no help with funds from outside
So much choice. also Doctorate courses I’ve looked at but so scary i’ve almost decided now not to do that yet.
I need a solution of what to do wihtout myself for the next couple of years; before the course application deadlines; with at least soem support [family or friends or major upside [such as money or once-in-a-lifetime stuff so i can ignore families disapproval].
Ways this could work:
-Uh. Someone could give me a source of income. (i.e. tell me a way i can get the funding). [any ideas?]
-I could get offered a placement where I’m paid to study.
-Erm. The answer could become clear so then I can focus on getting the money/time/travel/friends thing sorted rather than using them as pros and cons to decide on.
-I’m open to any ideas. Please.
My commitment.
Shivanata
Meditation
Reiki
Swearing
Dancing
Music
Poetry
Novel-writing?
To cry. And laugh a lot.
To draw diagrams and make lists.
To talk to my other half about it.
halloween solutions:
i’m giving out tattoos and stickers because the world does not need more sugary crap and i don’t need it in my house to tempt me and make me sick.
tattoos are way cooler than toothbrushes and tempeh sticks
Fake tattoos! I really, really, really like that idea from above. I also really, really, really support the Pushing Daisies plan because that show makes my heart ache in just the perfect way.
Havi, tiny thought: I think your need for sequencing needs some SEQUINS. Sequins for your sequence! Okay maybe that was only awesome in my head.
Xo to everyone and happy VPAing!
ohhh almost missed that it was Sunday!
Last week:
The event was a success! Not fifteen, but eleven, which is entirely respectable. On the list this week: figure out why it seems no one has gotten the “what shall we do next” email. Reframe and send again if necessary.
space clarity: I slacked. I didn’t do anything about space clarity.
Thing caught on the iguanas: haha! I unhooked it, substantially. It got batteries and an outline. And two hours of recording time. People are asking about it. It is for turning crisis into Useful. It needs a name. And about three more hours of recordings. And some worksheets and instructions. And then it will be Done and ready for testing.
Thing 4: SUPER high resistance. Didn’t do a thing. .sigh.
This week:
Thing one: my to-do list seems to have me by the tail. For everything I check off, two more things spring up in its place. Frustration and overwhelm ensue, often.
My ask: Wanted: a to-do list that holds all the things I need to remember without growing until I can’t see its feathery tips in the distance.
Wanted: to not feel behind and rushed all the time.
Wanted: some boundaries around what is reasonable to expect of myself.
Ways this could work: I could stop saying yes quite so often. I could set aside a whole day to make things happen. I could do some of the most important and urgent things and then give myself permission to delete the rest. I could add things for myself, instead of just stuff for everyone else/work.
My commitment: To do one Important Thing each time I have a block of time until the list is whittled. To put down the list a bit before I go to bed so my brain can rest.
Thing 2: I need to wake up later. Or fall back asleep when I wake up early.
Ways this could work: I could remember reiki when I wake up and need to sleep. I could cuddle with my sweetie, which helps with the sleep. I could experiment with less liquid right before bed.
My commitment: reiki. and maybe more exercise. or sex. or all of the above.
Thing three: the barn door? Oh barn door. I am nervous about the next step on the barn door. I do not know what is behind the barn door. I am feeling afraid of conflict. I would prefer graciousness.
Ways this could work: I could be genuinely curious. I could not be invested in the outcome. I could wear a silly hat (except I don’t think I have a silly hat). Some kind of imagining, but not sure what.
Commitment: The silly hat. And unhooking from the outcome.
On the Thing with the Iguanas:
Just saying: if the process which is actually fabulous could stop feeling like slogging through mud I would like that verymuchpleaseandthankyou.
happy Sunday!
Well, 1st, there’s never anything wrong with watching Pushing Daisies. So sad it got axed. Have you seen Wonderfalls? Same creator, also axed, but a very cool, pretty well wrapped up 14 eps or so.
How about party favors/dollar store treats for the tiny humans? Eye ball bouncy balls, mood rings, army men with parachutes (I don’t love their army-ness but the parachutes- so cool!), silly glasses…
If I lived closer and didn’t kind of love T-day, I would totally duck out with y’all. Now if you had one for New Year’s…well, I’d still have trouble getting to it, but that’s my holiday Kryptonite.
Perhaps not so oddly, when I feel clear about what I want to accomplish in a week, I feel less need to ask for it. (Or the qualities that will make it possible.) I may be overly ambitious this week, but it’s ok because I’m in GO mode, so what I finish is what I’m able to finish.
Good luck to everyone’s VPAs!
I LOVE the fake tattoos idea. It says, “The reason I’m not giving you candy ISN’T because I don’t eat sugar. It’s because you’re a badass kid who’s like 5 seconds away from outgrowing all this stuff and you don’t need another adult telling you what to eat and how to live your life. So here ya go, kid, your first tattoo.”
I’ll be hunkering down and watching season 4 of Star Trek: Enterprise on Halloween, so if you decide to opt-out and watch Pushing Daisies, you’ll certainly not be alone. Little kids ringing my doorbell all night would drive my dogs insane, so I just skip it altogether.
If you want to rock your neighborhood this Halloween, just pass out Silly Bands – those fun-shaped rubber bracelets (and rings!) that are all the rage. You can get them anywhere, in your favorite shapes – even pirate themed ones.
You will most assuredly be the Pirate Queen. 😉
Greetings! Such fantastic treat ideas!
My ask:
Sweetness! Not in the Halloween kind. Nor the chocolate kind (although I most definitely love chocolate and will accept that in a pinch!). Rather, I’d love a bit more of the essence or quality of sweetness to infuse my life over this next week.
Ways this could work:
Hmmm… dunno really. Open to being surprised?
My commitments:
-To notice all the sweetness that *already* is in my life.
-To create and perform some sort of sweetness ritual.
-To interact with the quality of sweetness through writing, meditation and noticing the ways I use things like chocolate as substitutes for the real deal.
That is all! Have a great week everyone.
How about fruit? Is that so inappropriate on Halloween? I’ve seen kids that actually like apples.
Hello sweetie pie’s!
Luckkkk with your ask’s!
My ask
For more sustained energy. For this cold to bugger off!
For oodles of sovereignity at work.
What this means is I want to feel safe inside my own protective bubble whilst I need it, to keep trusting myself, my values, my strengths and, at the same time, continue to bounce back from any differences in values that are present around me.
Because this situation is NOT for ever and people are doing their best – it is not personal and I don’t want these differences to drag me down. It’s not really neccesary.
I’ve done a truck load of guided meditations around already recently and so far I’ve had some pretty amazing results.
I’d like a big shift to emerge or a stuck to disappear around running, trying out my own workshops. I’m losing momentum altogether at the moment and clarity.
I probably need to be okay with this loss of momentum too really. Resting by doing the other cubicle job is okay, it’s not the end of the world, even if I am scared of losing myself again.
I’d like to look at my finances and feel safe paying for some help, some hand holding and guidance and encouragement – because I need to find someone wonderful, deep, wise, empathic to help move me on. I’m frightened I can’t afford this kind of support, even though maybe I can. I’m frightened I’ll never be good enough to run w/shops and help people. Those stucks are always there. Time to digg deep but softly too!
Ways this could work
I could work with someone – I have lots of amazing online friends now with huuuge expertise who could help me I think but I’m still a bit daunted to take a leap. Mostly the money thing.
I could meditate on these specific issues – including the fear of not good enoughness and financial scarcity amd see what happens. Because so far this energy work is doing amazing stuff!
I could be open to the world presenting me with options that sit comfortably with me and create feelings of delightful yesness.
Oooh, now I wish I was a kid living in the US- I would have loved crayons and playdoh and stickers (I used to collect those tiny themed sticky sheets from Lion stickers) for halloween giftees over candy any day 🙂
2 special asks this week
#1 VPA
Special secret baby thing I am working on in my head to translate into a bigger thing in the coming year.
There are several ways I could work this as it is now. Shiva nata for ideas. Scheduling time to talk to monsters about waving their fear pickets around this current little sweet thing. So, you know, they can stop doing that please? Doing one small thing related to it each day. Giving myself permission to shield it until ready.
And when it is ready? More of the same, really. But on deeper levels. You know, layers. Like a trifle 😉
#2 VPA
A printer & some paper.
Let me start again- giving myself permission to get this printer + paper.
I can work with this by thinking/journalling about my relationship with money, thinking about what is ‘allowed’ and what is ‘not allowed’ and why that is so. By working stuff in the hard and doing some calculations and projections. By setting boundaries, creating checkpoints to try out, around where my money goes.
If only you had a monster coloring book…
…then you could give out a picture printed out on a half sheet of paper, rolled up as a scroll with a curly ribbon that says Happy Halloween from your Monsters!
A treat for the neighborhood, and for your online trick or treaters as well…and if the online treat sells a few more coloring books, a treat for you too.
VPA
Last week I wrote copy for Strategy 42 that was unicorns and ponies doing calculus having a bake sale. Thank goodness for the copyfriends who helped me through it.
Let this week be creating video that is exactly what it needs to be.
How this could happen:
Allow time
My commitment
To remember that I don’t have to justify why this matters so much to me. I can just do it. No explanation necessary.
I have no idea if this is wise or foolish, but caught offguard one Halloween, I grabbed my loose change bucket and dropped in an assortment of coins to each bag. Later years, when I knew who was coming and it was few, it was those Sacagawea dollars that look like pirate loot anyway. Pinwheels and whistles were fun once, but got a mixed reception. Also at times it’s been stickers. This year I would wonder about silly bandz.
I am fascinated by your sovereignty ask because I feel like what we have here is a case of When Sovereignties Collide. Because I feel like these little people’s parents definitely have the option of not taking them trick-or-treating. Or they have the option of buying back all the candy at the end of the night and trading it for a new bike or something. I don’t know, I am just thinking that there are many ways in which you might be respecting other people’s sovereignty (the little people and their legal guardians) by handing out the tasty snickers bars. Which is all just part of practicing sovereignty, right?
I would just like to say two things:
1) silly bandz! Of course!
2) thank you for the Call Dread page. It is very good.
Individual bags of microwave popcorn (unpopped!) are very popular here. Although my personal favorite would be the soap bubbles.
I told my partner about your Halloween question and she said, “Definitely something fun. Like wax lips. Or devil duckies.”
Also, if you’re going to sequester yourself away from the Halloweenness of it all and watch something on Netflix, “Pushing Daisies” is an EXCELLENT choice.
My gentleman friend bought a bunch of small bags of pretzels to hand out. Everybody likes pretzels, right? Um, ok, except gluten-free folks. But they’re vegan and not all sugary, so *I* can eat them!
thanks for mentioning the Hallowe’en dilemma! We get just a few kids here (dark winding street in Lake O, not well-lit cul-de-sac land), so it makes no sense to buy a bag of candy.
and when I was little, we had neighbors who would give out loose change. I never minded that. I also loved the next-door neighbor’s popcorn. Not sure you could do that these days, given all the fears about food that isn’t shrink-wrapped.
phewee last week went ok! didn’t get much studio done, due to lack of hours in the day, and some well overdue r+r including socialising with lovely friends old and new.
but the other things went super well so thanks Havi for the vpa space!
Thing 1: studio
Here’s what I want: new exciting combos of freaky ideas turning into intriguing objects
Ways this could work: get some fresh images, catch up on my documentation to see where i am at so far, enjoy my writing
My commitment: spend time in the studio and don’t be scared of the computer : )
Thing 2: food
Here’s what I want: to improve my relationship with ridiculously healthy food
Ways this could work: remember how much i love cooking and eating my own simple vege concoctions
My commitment: rest well and have energy and appreciation for fresh yummy goodness
Thing 3: gf
Here’s what I want: to be super sweet and kind and appreciative of him, and help and support him with what he needs
Ways this could work: listening to the quiet voice
My commitment: to remember that his needs are not my needs and to take care of my own needs as well as i can
For Halloween, I found some neat fruit snacks that have way more ACTUAL JUICE in them than pretty much everything else I’ve ever seen (these are 64-68% juice — which seems amazing to me considering that I’ve seen drinking boxes, of all things, that have just 25% real juice!). There’s also “raw cane sugar” in these, which may or may not work for you, Havi, but if others are here looking for “healthier” things, perhaps something with ACTUAL VITAMINS from ACTUAL JUICE might be available near you too. This particular brand is “Florida’s Naturals” but it also says on the package that it is “Made responsibly in China” and is distributed by a company called Au’some from Monmouth Junction NJ. I found these at a store called The Bargain Shop… and my husband has been taking them to work to have as desserts with lunch, so I’m hoping there’s more there when I go back to get more!
And if there aren’t any, I love all the other non-candy alternatives that are being discussed. Tattoos! Play-doh! CRAYONS–I love crayons! Maybe I’ll finally let myself buy a bunch of packages of dollar-store party favour things, and get to play with them a bit before I hand them out!
As for a VPA… I’m going to just keep mine personal. Very personal! 🙂 Thanks as always, Havi, for the helpful ways to think about things!
Another fan of the tiny Play-doh cans, as well as stickers, tattoos, cute little notebooks, bouncy balls, etc. Glow sticks that can be turned into bracelets are another good one, and you can get a lot for cheap. The big craft stores are another good source for small, inexpensive things.
For me, well, the most immediate thing is that the lease on our house is up, and complications have arisen. We love this house and this neighborhood, and the location is about as perfect as I can even imagine in terms of proximity to friends and activities. SO
Here’s what I want: to get to stay in this beautiful house in the neighborhood we love, with the rent staying within what we can afford.
Ways this could work: I could discover that the complications are quite a bit less than I thought. The realty company could be easier to deal with than I’m afraid of. All in all, my fears could turn out to be far greater than the reality … which is not unusual at all. All the steps we need to go through could happen easily and with grace.
Alternatively, we could be forced to find someplace else to live and find a situation which is even more perfect for us, even though I can’t begin to imagine what that would be.
My commitment: *Faith* is the tough one, and I know it’s the biggie for me. So, having faith that this will all work out. Faith that the unexpected does not equal the undesirable.
Continuing to clear the junk out of my life. It does have some kind of energetic connection to this, so I’m going with it.
I’m doing this late because A Thing just came up and I… yeah. A VPA seems like it could help! Maybe?
See, this weekend – starting Thursday morning, going through to Monday night – is our (my partner and I) little roadtrip to camp a night on the northwestern coast and then head to Seattle for Strowler Nights. That’s about 32 hours of driving over five days. We’ve done a lot worse before, but this is kind of one of our crazies.
The Thing:
The weather forecast this weekend is full of chill and rain. I’m pretty miserable when cold and wet; it does a number of my emotion and mental sprightliness. And, despite being a roadtrip champion, I am not fond of driving in the rain – especially at night, which is the bulk of our travel time. Not to mention the thought of camping in cold and wet! No cooking over a fire, and I don’t know if our tent is water-proof anymore…
Here’s what I want:
To stay warm and dry.
To not stress over the cold and wet.
To have fun, no matter how it happens. This will be an adventure with my partner, whether it rains or not, and adventures are awesome.
Ways this could work:
I can talk to my partner about our options, so we have a way of not being cold and wet the whole time. Even if that means a hotel room instead of a campsite. (We’d still be in the area, and it is the area more than the camping that is capital-a-Awesome.)
The weather can do a total turn-around and Not Rain on us. 🙂 I can handle the rain on the road, just not at the campsite!
We could totally change our itinerary and just go to Seattle to see my partner’s brother and Strowler Nights.
My commitment:
To seek work-arounds and solutions. Including brainstorming with my partner about it tonight.
To not passively accept the cold-and-wet; to actively try to keep warm and dry and therefore happy.
To stay flexible and to make the most out of whatever happens.
And loving these beautiful VPAs. Yay very personal ads.
@Sherron – happy there’s a club of people who hunker down and watch their favorite shows. That’s awesome.
@claire – thanks for the Wonderfalls recommendation, I can’t wait to try it.
@alina – Interesting! I think we must be working with really different definitions of sovereignty. Or maybe there’s some related misunderstanding.
Because one person’s sovereignty never collides with another. That’s the essence of sovereignty: making collisions non-existent. Everything I do that strengthens my sovereignty also supports everyone else’s and vice versa.
And interacting with sovereignty always begins between me and me.
So even as I let others have their sovereignty, their decisions and actions don’t have anything to do with me.
My job is to feel comfortable. Whatever other people do or don’t do, my work is with giving myself permission to do what is harmonious/safe for me with where I’m at right now. Once I feel comfortable doing what’s needed for me, it is easier for me to consider what else might be going on.
Long explanation, sorry! 🙂
Speaking as a child who LOVED candy, especially ridiculous candy like those giant pixy stix that were basically flavored, powered crack cocaine:
I still remember the house that gave out bubbles.
You have never seen such a happy child. I certainly never once thought, “Hey, but they didn’t give out candy!” OTHER people gave me candy. BUT THIS ONE HOUSE GAVE OUT BUBBLES!
I feel this is a particularly good solution for you, considering you are the Mistress of Bubbles.
I’m pretty sure that Halloween-oriented companies put out little mini-bottles of bubbles for just such an occasion. Like these:
http://www.partypalooza.com/IndItems/Bubbles.html
My favorite are the sword-in-the-stone ones. But there are also ladybugs! And ice-cream-cone necklace ones! And dinosaurs!
Also: http://www.hancockcottages.com
It looks like they take advantage of SXSW because their rates double for that week, but then again, they’re quite reasonable rates even when doubled.
Elissa said it! Printed single pages from the Monster Coloring Book…maybe with a mini-pack of crayons.
I know it’s probably late, but I’ve just discovered Scarrots!
http://picsfromtheworld.wordpress.com/2010/10/29/885/