Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my weekly ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!
Let us dooo eeeet.
Thing 1: it is the season for slippers, I believe.
Here’s what I want:
To find absurdly warm slippers.
These will be kept by the bed, so that the transition from cozy flannel sheets to hot bath can be slightly less jarring.
Ways this could work:
I can ask you guys for recommendations.
And prowl Etsy.
And do a little slipper dance.
My commitment.
Receptivity to finding the right thing in unexpected places.
Thing 2: order and ease.
Here’s what I want:
Another madcap week coming up (it does seem as though I say that kind of a lot, doesn’t it?).
Teaching and clients and recovering from the Great Ducking Out (which was awesome, by the way), and flying to Sacramento to teach some more.
There is so much ketchup and regular work-stuff that needs to happen.
I’m wishing for ways in which clean, organic, usable forms can emerge (order!) and for this to happen without resistance (ease!).
Ways this could work:
Not sure yet.
I’m open to surprises.
My commitment.
Lots of Shiva Nata, for the epiphanies, but also to help bring new patterns in and untangle the old ones. Lots of writing about that process.
Asking questions and finding out what is possible.
And playing at the Playground until it all falls into place.
Thing 3: little pockets of weekend, please!
Here’s what I want:
I’m not really getting much of a proper weekend this weekend because of a bunch of fires that need putting out (god, where is metaphor mouse when you need him?).
And next weekend I’m teaching in California and visiting the un-laws.
So I really need some weekend in this week.
Ways this could work:
Wouldn’t that be nice to know.
My commitment.
To go to where the water is.
To remember that rest is the first duty of the queen.
To trust that this can happen.
Thing 4: memorization.
Here’s what I want:
Oh, I have a few of my websites that I’m avoiding because they just got new passwords and I haven’t memorized them yet.
Ways this could work:
Use the plane ride.
Use the force.
Use music.
Use Shiva Nata.
Make a game of this?
My commitment.
To remember that the sooner this happens, the less stuck and resentment there will be.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted spaciousness this past week, and that’s exactly what I got. The force field was totally working.
Then I wanted progress on next steps for the Great Rebrunching of my Kitchen Table program. And that happened too.
My big hope was to make progress on a big secret mission, and, thanks to the Rally (Rally!), progress was made. Not as much visible, external progress as I’d hoped, but so much internal movement.
So I’m ready for the next piece, and that in and of itself is a big thing. Hooray.
And I wanted superhero gloves, and still haven’t asked for them. Superhero gloves! Let’s do it.
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
Stuff I’d rather not have:
- The word “manifest”.
- To be told how I should be asking for things.
- To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given unsolicited advice.
Wishing love and good things for your Very Personal Ads! So glad for everyone doing this with me.
Follow
@havi:
Two quick notes from my personal practice, just in case they are helpful to you.
When I need warm slippers, I go to LL Bean. I have and love these: http://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/43334?feat=503422-GN2
A few months ago, I finally gave up on memorizing passwords. The small amount of money I spent on password-remembering software was the best investment I made this year in terms of time saved and frustration circumnavigated. My system is http://agilewebsolutions.com/products/1Password, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. You might, too.
Happy winter from New England! Wishing you warmth and ease.
– Marisa
So.. updates –
I overbooked myself and wanted it all to flow. It did to some extent. Then I had this weekend off; but I’ve used most of it for recovery 🙁
Thing 1: CALM PROGRESS.
Here’s what I want:
I was about to say the same – another full week coming up and I swear I’ve said that for last 5-6 VPA weeks.
I have three deadlines – for Tuesday and Wednesday. And lectures. And an extra volunteering thing. And an extra society meeting.
Oh boy. The deadlines – ones a presentation I have to give to a class.
So much to do, so much fear and so little sleep/rest time. So little energy.
Oh. It’s my week to clean the house.
And i’ve a headache.
So. I want everything to get done in time, with nice pockets of weekend myself to chill. And for Wednesday night to be a celebration. Might buy myself some Lambrini.
Ways this could work:
Magic.
Taking every 5 minute-gap to either meditate, flail or work. I will be on the bus for 20 mins solid tomorrow. Let’s use that time wisely.
My commitment.
Shivanata.
To be kind to myself. It’s partly my fault but I had other stuff too.
To breathe.
Have a wonderful, glorrrrious week everyone.
Oh boy, here’s my first personal ad.
Ok, I’m having to overcome a lot of resistance to write this because of much guilt surrounding asking for money, or even discussing money.
Thing 1: Tis the season for getting out of debt
Here’s what I want:
To pay off my credit card by December 19th
Ways this could work:
I work very long hours and don’t spend any money (eek)
I work short hours, but make amazing tips from generous people who love the food and appreciate my excellent service.
I inspire people to become healthier through my nutrition programs and they purchase products to help them achieve their goals.
I sell many of my beautiful photographs.
A magical money tree sprouts somewhere in my life.
My commitment:
Forgive myself for being afraid and doubtful.
Be open to the infinite possibilities.
Share as much of my own gifts with others as I can.
Did I do that right? Ack! Now I have to hit the submit button before I chicken out.
Last week I VPA’d for a way to manage my to-dos and lists and time and such, and I feel like I’m triangulating… not quite there yet, but sensing more possibility. Been reading Havi’s archives from the beginning and finding a lot there. Right now, I think I’m working on the theme for next year instead of a bunch of little line items, and feel like I’m going in right direction.
MY VPA for this week: Trust. (Incidentally, one of my themes.)
I have been having a lot of panics lately, around future stuff, and I want to trust myself and trust that things will work out.
Ways this could work:
I’m not quite sure. Just noticing when I’m not trusting things could work…? Open to anything.
My commitment:
Keep reading the archives. Meditate. Read Jen’s Self-trust course. Take a few little risks.
Last week I asked for parts of my academic writing to be ok, and now I am asking for:
Serenity in my writing. I would like my writing to not trigger my monsters, My load has not changed from my last ask, it is getting close to hand in time and it would be so marvelous to let the words flow onto the page.
ways this could work:
Use my special get things done writing technique
Hourly Shivanata dance breaks for epiphanies
For the writing to just happen 🙂
My commitment
To be ok with this being hard and to treat my self kind.
To do the dance
Give my self a little space if I am feeling overwhelmed
Know deep in my bones that I can do the writing.
Very Personal Ad #14
Update on last week!:
Thing 1 was changes and conversions. HOLY GOD! What happened?! I barely recognize this life, this person, this mind from the one I had two weeks ago.
VPAs are very powerful indeed.
Thing 2 was anti-stress. I barely got that, but I did get several “hmm” moments for things I can cut out/do/try in the future to help.
Go, most awesome VPA ever!
So, this week!
Thing 1: I don’t really know.
What I would like: I would like to bring forward/clear up whatever it is that makes me not want to settle on a job. It feels like “direction”, but it also has a lot to do with being comfortable, contented, happy, pleasurably worn out. I would like for the freak out people to calm down and tell me what they need so that we can get on with this thing.
Ways this could happen:
They could come to me in my dreams.
Therapy.
The male-person could provide some content and happy.
I could find hidden treasure inside my favorite books and blogs.
My commitment:
To do therapy.
To not beat myself up for the hiccups. (Even if almost nothing is worse than hiccups.)
To let wisdom come as it will.
Thing 2: Healing
What I would like: I’ve tried acceptance. I’ve tried not pushing, not expecting too much, not resisting. And what I would really, really like… is for my arms to work properly! No more pain when typing or writing. No more owwie. Just happiness. I’m not asking for a 3-Day Novel or anything. I’m asking for 500 freaking words without wanting to curl up and cry.
Ways this could work:
Miracle healing. (It could happen!)
I could workout and put some muscle on.
I could let them rest more.
My commitment:
I could DO those things.
Little pockets of weekend!
Thing I want: To make strides on my personal Energy Protection Plan, i.e. gather information about my physical, emotional, mental energy — the sources, uses, vampires, etc.
Ways this might happen: Writing this VPA could make me extra alert and aware in a curious, lighthearted way. A new idea or goal could inspire me to conserve and rejuvenate and use my energy well. I’d like that.
My commitment: Taking lots of notes. Shiva Nata. To notice where needs for energy protection conflict with other needs (like chocolate eating), and to give those places lots of attention. To read energy-buoyant stuff every day. To promise that no matter what I notice, I don’t have to make any changes yet. This is the data gathering phase.
Happy VPA’ing to all!
Here are my favorite slippers. Because I work at home, I wear them a LOT.
http://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/23777?feat=503422-GN2
Warm feet to you!
amgrateful for the space that the VPAs hold for not-knowings.
Even though it puts my monsters in a tizzy.
VPA: two weeks missed, so I have no idea what I asked for. Update: the barn door closed, even though I have not heard formally that it has. More painful than I expected, but now I can move forward.
Several other doors are squeaking open. I would like more than just squeaking. I would like the windows to open, too.
So, asks for this week:
1. clarity: I have been thinking about massage school for years. Now I am thinking about it as an addition to my coaching practice. On the one hand, I am advised that sexuality coaching and massage school are a perfect recipe to have people assume that I do sex work, which I do not. On the other hand, as we see with shivanata, the body and the brain are closely tied and benefit from each other’s limberness.
ways this could work: I am already inquiring. I could find a Perfect Program. I could decide to go to Portugal. I could get very quiet inside and journal. I could have a miraculous revelation in which All Is Made Clear.
: my commitment: to get quiet and think and feel. To make the sign for my bodywork/coaching practice as it is now (Tideworks!) so people can find me easily. To do the math.
2. ease: I seek ease in my coaching practice. Too much, it feels like boulders and uphill. Too much push. Surrender isn’t quite right, but I am struggling when I know it is not necessary or helpful.
ways this could work: I can make the sign. I can have a friend over to help make the space better. I can be loving and nurturing with my practice instead of demanding. I can continue to talk to people about what I do.
my commitment: To make the leap. To look at where I can be sweet and gentle with my practice. To finish the current project and make it available. (Link not live yet. Almost.)
There may be other VPAs but I can’t get them into my head right now, so that’s sufficient. There may be some art in the wings.
Hi. I’m Kat’s resistance, and I’d like to place a VPA.
What I want: This whole PhD thing is driving me crazy. I just want to know that, whatever happens, it’ll be all right. Whether Kat finishes the degree, whether she doesn’t, I want to know that it’s all going to be okay in the end. I just want to be happy, and I want Kat to be happy. No more misery!
So, yeah, to sum it up: I want to know that whatever happens, it’s going to be all right.
How this can happen: Love and self-care. Being in the moment, because the moment is usually pretty okay. Also, I can ask Kat clearly for the things that I need, the things that will help me calm down so that she can work on things.
My commitment: I will remind Kat that I love her. I will try to love myself. I will take deep breaths. I will let Kat comfort me, and hold me in her arms while she works. I will keep the lines of communication open.
(P.S. from Kat: I’ve never tried these slippers, so I can’t vouch for them personally, but they look warm and fabulous:)
http://greatgreenshoes.com/2009/11/28/eco-friendly-vegan-slippers/
oh mannn, Do Mi, I was JUST looking at those the other day and thinking “I would very much like Wicked Good Slippers,” as I’m having a similar vacancy in my life.
THING: Decide I’m going to do this thing I’m going to do and do it.
HOW: um. Give it some concreteness and create a couple different action plans that will track those taking a similar path.
Print off some action worksheets I have to concretely do them.
Write myself up a kind and forgiving schedule that still challenges me to invest in discipline-making.
ME: I will put those damn french doors up and make myself a hippie yoga room, dammit. I am sort of intent on it. For peace, and calm. Perhaps flailing? I have been dying to know the joys of the shivanaut. But I have $0 to spend until just about Christmas-time. So. One thing at a time! Anyway, my commitment is to give myself a space to ponder and work so I’m not constantly pondering on a decrepit couch covered in blankets. (I think my housemate is starting to get worried.)
i hope you all get your VPAs in motion!
mine:
thing #1:
have an honest conversation with a particular someone.
ways:
-no idea… an internet miracle maybe?
-make myself more visible
-hope and faith and a miracle
my commitment:
-patience, it will happen when it has to
-hope and love and blessings to this person
-find out where my ambivalence is from and work on it
-even though i am so embarased about it all, it happened and i could not fight it and i am all tangled and stuck, and i want and need to talk about it with him
-not freak out if the oportunity shows up
-believe in what i feel comes from a place of love and uncertainty, and it just is
thing # 2
find out why i keep saying to myself “i am sorry, i didn’t know” when i talk to myself
ways:
-mouse! metaphor or otherwise! mice if needed!
-talk to my self who is sorry and didn’t know and do what it takes to make her feel safe
-shake it shiva!
commitment:
-love and patience for my sorry self
-sing my heart out
-tell her it is ok
-don’t know, but open my eyes to whatever may be, and be ok with it.
-patience and patience and tender loving care, i am sorry, i didn’t know
and the rest is not so big a deal, i can work with it. but i kinda need this 2 things to happen so it doesn’t hurt this much
cyberhugs to all.
Briana! What an awesome VPA. Maybe I need an Energy Protection Plan too, for this coming week.
I haven’t actually been working on any of my past VPA’s and haven’t shown up here in a couple weeks. Harumph. Oh well, let’s move forward.
Thing #1: Swift healing for my right thumb. Which I injured the day before Thanksgiving cooking began, by slicing a big chunk of skin clean off the knuckle. And as I’m right-handed, doing just about everything is awkward right now.
Ways this could happen: Magic?
Commitment: To be more careful with it.
Thing #2: Getting through this next week at my day job. Which will be the busiest, most hellacious, racing-against-the-clock week of the year (thanks to the company’s ridiculously early year-end deadlines). I am nowhere near as prepared for it this year as I’ve been in the past. Anxiety just thinking about it. And afraid hand injury is going to slow me down.
Ways this could happen: I could send all my phone calls straight to voicemail and block instant messaging. Explain to the interrupters (because I know there will be those) that I need to stick to my strategy in order to get all the work done, rather than being pulled this way & that by other peoples priorities. My boss could decide not to throw additional tasks on top of my workload, and people could respect that I need to get things done.
Commitment: To remember that the job is not my life. That I can leave all that anxiety at work & not bring it home with me. To gently yet firmly stand up to my coworkers if need be. To let myself veg out with tv and a blanket in the evenings if I’m too drained from the day, without a guilt-trip.
Mmmm… slippers… been meaning to ask my mom to make me a pair, she knits the most wondrous slippers with this fabulous suede soles (yum!)
Good luck on your hunt!
Update on last week’s VPAs; I asked for help with enforcing my boundaries, in a way that wouldn’t hurt the other person. Not much happened here, though I did get the space to find some quiet within myself. Which is mostly why nothing has happened 😉
I also asked for playful productivity, and yay! I found it 😀 I’m learning new ways of interacting with my creative self, that are so much better, less restrictive, more playful, but still productive!
So for this week…
VPA #1: Ease with extending my visa! On Thursday I have to leave Thailand just long enough to come back and get my visa extended… since it expires on the 2nd, but I don’t fly home until the 16th. I’ve heard this can be easy, but it can also be hectic and scary-making. I would like easy please.
Ways this could work:
* It just could
* I can remember to breathe, and reinforce my territorial Sovereignty bubble
* I can remind myself that the scary border guards are people too, who would probably like this to be just as easy as I want it to be
* I can bring my journal with me, so that when I start getting nervous I have an outlet other than the Hamster Wheel of Worry that is my brain
My commitment:
* To do all of the above
* To create space for myself so that if it does end up being hectic and scary-making, I have somewhere to rest and recuperate afterwards
* To breathe!
VPA #2: To be accepted to this thing that I’ve applied for, that would make me ever so gleefully happy to be accepted into.
Ways this could work:
* It just could (I like this one!)
My commitment:
* To breathe
* To journal
* To remind myself that this is not a popularity contest, and whether I get in or not has nothing to do with my personal worth as a human being
* To think of things I might do with my time/energy if I don’t get accepted, so that even my monsters will know that it’s not the end of the world, and I have alternatives
VPA #3: Courage to ask for help… my Thing is almost ready to be put out before the world, in a way that would allow people to pay me to help them. But I’m going to need to ask for help from my allies, in order to get the word out and let my Right People know that I’m here for them. This will take courage. I have a pattern of being not good at the asking for help…
Ways this could work:
* I could write long Love Notes to myself, reminding me that my allies love me and want to help me
* I could write short Love Notes to myself, reminding me to read the longer Love Notes
* I could breathe
* I could journal
* I could Shiva Nata ways of breaking down my old patterns and rewriting them into new ones that include being good at asking for help… or at least being ok at it
Happy VPA’ing everyone… hope the next week is full of joy and receiving 😀
Long time lurker mouse, first time commenter mouse.
Slippers! I have been ogling these for a long time – perhaps you will also like them (and be in more of a climate to appreciate their fuzzularity): http://www.etsy.com/transaction/37239752
VPA! It’s been a while, I’m not sure when I did my last one, but here goes:
Thing 1: I am in desperate need of some sanity over the next three weeks (only three weeks! GAH!) until my vacation. I’m going on a week-long trip to America to see my family, and then back to Japan for another two weeks of vacation with my best friend. All the planning and preparing is wearing on my nerves, so I need a way to prepare for my vacation that doesn’t end with me hiding under the covers from stress.
Ways This Could Work:
– November could stop sucking out loud for its last couple of days and give me some peace.
– I could have a really awesomely productive weekend this coming Saturday and Sunday, since that’s the last weekend I have for preparation.
– I could work on things a little at a time rather than trying to get everything done Friday night before I leave.
– I could find an organization method that doesn’t induce the crazy.
– My job could take it easy on me for the next three weeks (not entirely likely, but I can hope!)
– A magical fairy could appear in my house to help me get ready.
My Commitment:
– To give myself time, both for preparation and for resting.
– To organize things enough before I start preparing and packing that I will not get hit by the crazy.
– To let myself look forward to the fun things about my vacation.
Thing #2: I need to start getting up earlier. Not super early, just early enough that I can be on time for work. But I want to do this in a guilt-free, non-violent way.
Ways This Could Work:
– I could write myself notes in the evening to read in the morning once I wake up.
– I could get myself something delicious and amazing for breakfast.
– I could start going to bed earlier.
– I could remind myself that this time is not that time and that this isn’t a perfectionism thing, no matter what the monsters are saying.
My Commitment:
– To make this transition gradual and not be violent with myself about it.
– To give myself some kind of morning routine that I can look forward to getting up for, whether it’s Shiva Nata or having some tea or whatever it ends up being.
That’s all for this week 🙂 Best wishes to all my fellow VPA-ers!
Felted wool slippers are the best! A few designs that are on my Christmas list that might intrigue you, too!
http://etsy.me/gx0RTj
http://etsy.me/gv9V3B
http://etsy.me/ihWciu (LOVE these!)
http://etsy.me/eQj93c
http://etsy.me/eCckTY (My favorites!)
I’ll have to do a VPA at another time, but I’m looking for some clarity on how to put myself back together after a stressful incident over the weekend. Totally unsure how to discuss it without the two parties feeling defensive/guilty/hurt.
Thanks for the V and safe room ideas. I wasn’t able to remind myself of them much in the middle of the situation, but I love having them in my back pocket. Practice. Kindness.
Happy week!
I just have to tell you that your line “Wouldn’t that be nice to know” made me laugh out loud in an oh-boy-I-recognize-that-feeling sort of way. Here’s to both you and me getting to enjoy the niceness of knowing a little something helpful, and soon. Namaste!
I love reading your VPAs. They always inspire me to ask for what I want and need in my life.
As for slippers…I have a pair of Dearfoams that my husband bought me a couple years ago (not overly pretty – http://www.dearfoams.com/dearfoams-df672/205435/451822). I love them and they keep my feet toasty (but then again, I live in SoCal so I might not be the best person to ask). I’ve been eying the Ugg slippers, but I figure they’d be too warm for me.
I’ll come back in a bit to post up my very own VPA.
Ooh, slippers. I need new slippers (which I started typing as sleepers. Hmm). My slippers are falling apart. And yet until I read your post it didn’t occur to me to actually do something about it, like get off my but and buy a new pair. I don’t suppose the slipper fairies are going to just bring me a new pair. That would be nice though.
Putting out fires reminds me of stomping in puddles, for some reason. Anyhow.
Wanted: Courage and energy for the coming week. It’s going to be a rough and tiring one.
Ways it could work:
-Continue talking to my monsters (lots of weird but helpful conversations going on there!)
-I could carve out a little pocket of quiet time for myself each day — maybe early morning or late night — to get the work done that needs doing.
-I could suddenly get one of my bursts of great energy and motivation and just sail on it for a while, knowing I can collapse and recover later.
My commitment:
-Unconditional self-care. Eating, sleeping, moving, keeping things neat.
-To do more Shiva Nata + conversations with myself afterward.
Slippers are on my Hannukah list. I had some wonderful felt faux sheepskin lined clogs that I got at KMart, they were the warmest slippers ever, but they died last year. Footie pajamas help, but I really need some slippers for the studio. Which isn’t really my VPA, but since many of us seem to have the same want, I figured I’d add mine 🙂
What I want:
an hour a day for yoga and tea and journalling.
How this can happen:
I can set my alarm and actually get up when it goes off.
I can color my monsters who tell me that this is just a waste of time, and reassure them that I need this time to find my center and to ground.
I can set up my tea mug and the kettle before bedtime so that all I need to do is turn on the burner in the morning.
I can set up the yoga mat and DVD so that all I have to do is press the buttons.
I can leave my yoga pants and shirt in the bathroom so that it is easy to get up and get dressed (I don’t think yoga will work so well in my footie pajamas).
I can leave out the markers and colored pencils from coloring the monsters so it is easier to journal 😉
I can buy myself some silly stickers to put on the calendar each day that I am able to do this for myself.
My commitment:
To not have any expectations except to have an hour for myself.
To give myself permission to journal the most awful stuff in the world, or to be silly if that’s what I want to do.
To not beat myself up if I have trouble waking up with the alarm, and to be willing to play later in the day if I have to (even though I like early morning time to myself because it is easier to actually have).
What I want:
9 self-aware sympatico women with a calling to a creative challenge, to join MysteryMind Creator’s Colony and play self-inquiry and get outa yer own way with me this winter.
(actually, 7, there’s already 2 signed up).
How this could work:
I could finally get the announcement out to my little list.
(I could do that without pooh-poohing its littleness and how it should have happened sooner and I shoulda done it differently etc.)
(I could do it without every single thing being all spruced up and fabuloused at the nascent website first.)
I could keep asking for help and braving the Shut Up and Disappear gremlins.
I could send out the three other personal invites I thought of.
But regardless, it could just happen, or not.
My commitment:
I will do some kind of surrender hum or dance or spell before setting forth to work on all the step step steps of this new launching biz.
I will be a space for participants to come or not. I can’t know if it is right for them.
If needy desperate pushy grabby energy rears up, I will stop and take care of that first and not muscle through it with pretend.
Pray.
Make lists. Details count now.
—–
I’m on a mission with superhero gloves. Have painted some stretchy cotton gloves with designs in fabric paint.
So far they are looking a little sappy and luvey-duvey for real superheroing.(Even though Love Is The Power). No cuffs yet. I hope I will not put hearts on the cuffs. Gag!
dear havi – i had a pair of columbia sportswear slippers which kept my feet very warm during the winters in portland.
@briana – “Energy Protection Plan, i.e. gather information about my physical, emotional, mental energy — the sources, uses, vampires, etc.” – oh my goodness. i am adding this to my book of me right now. – brilliant.
@susan t – a dawn simulating alarm clock changed my relationship to morning. it is like getting a little kiss on the forehead when you wake up instead of being whacked upside the head with a 2X4. the sunset feature is awesome too – helps tell my brain when it is time for sleep.
it’s been weeks since my last vpa…
what i want:
not to be sick anymore or get sick again.
how this could happen:
i could never leave the house again or wear a surgical mask when i do go out.
i could take better care of myself.
listen to everyone’s story of self-care
my commitment:
wash my hands more frequently.
follow my Daily Maintenance Manifesto – in my new book of me.
@Heidi: hey, we both have Things! We should talk. I will Tweet at you so we can maybe support each other somehow.
And I forgot, but Heidi reminded me:
VPA the extra: I have heard a lot of no’s lately.
Dear multiverse, on this new door where I’m knocking?
A yes and a kettle of tea would be most welcome.
Pleaseandthankyou.
VPA 1: there is a Thing going on atm which is uncertain and stressful, but which is fundamentally not my decision. So what I want is patience and calm and to be supportive of the person whose decision it is in whatever way they need.
How this might work:
– I might spend some time reminding myself about the distinction between my stuff and their stuff.
– I might spend some time thinking about the fact that this is a really tough situation for them and I really understand why it’s going to take time.
– I might accept that whilst this *is* genuinely going to affect me either way, that I will find a way to go forwards whatever happens, and that way will be OK too.
My commitment:
– to cut myself some slack.
– to think calm thoughts.
– to keep doing journalling on the matter.
VPA 2: the ongoing How To Manage My Time problem. I want to find a better way to do this than how am I handling it right now.
How this might work:
– I really don’t know.
– Something new might show up?
– I could think carefully about my current time commitments and whether all of them are what I really want.
– I could think carefully about one particular thing that I don’t want to do any more but feel that I’m committed to for at least a bit longer — but am I/do I have to be?
My commitment:
– to keep on investigating in a playful spirit.
– to be aware that I can’t actually do *everything*, and that’s OK.
– to watch myself interacting with the world and with my to-do list.
Delurking briefly to say that I just misread Kitchen Table as ‘Kitten Table.’
Which was delightful!
http://passwordmaker.org/
is free.
broke wrist of dominant hand. find your site so helpful and fun while i sit with learning to receive care, not be in control, park ego, etc.