Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
♡
I have three wishes this week.
Three wishes, and I suspect they are all related, except I don’t exactly know how yet.
Fairy godmother blessings.
Before my birthday, I asked the Secret S-Word Society to glow fairy-godmother wishes for me and for my incoming year. I liked how that felt, that desire.
It is a wish about knowing that I am held in a circle of pure qualities: joy, love, adoration, presence, and grace. And not needing anything more than the reminder that these qualities are available to me at all times.
It is a way of preparing for the voyage.
And then I was offline on my birthday, and when I came back to visit this world of links-and-pixels, there were so many wishes and blessings for me.
These are the qualities.
Here are the qualities and delights people wished for me, on the Book of Face, and on the Switch/Swoop:
Enjoyment. Health. Vitality. Adoration. All wishes come true.
Light. Laughter. Dance. Peace. Companionship. Stillness. Merriment. Joy.
Relaxation. Love. People who make you smile. Gwishes come true, today and all days.
Serenity. Sweetness. Calm. Wisdom. Beauty. The language of bridges.
Ease. Discovery. Possibility. Celebration. Recharging. Renewal. Refreshment. Secret delights.
Magic. Victuals. Vivacity. Bells. Invitations. Bubblicious Bubble Bubbles.
Panache. Happiness. A million glittering sparklepoints. All things wonderful.
And Bill Weasley, handsomely scruffy curse-breaking specialist. Amen to that.
I want to really feel the power of this. The power of these wishes.
Landing.
Rachel Naomi Remen describes blessings as airplanes waiting to land. As if there is this moment when you say YES, and then all the good wishes that have been hovering in your orbit, waiting to be received, can finally come in.
My wish is about saying a clear, warm, welcoming YES to these fairy godparent blessings, and for the just-right filter that takes in only the qualities, the beautiful essence, without any energy or stuff that might be attached to any of the wishes.
My wish is about being a bell of appreciation and gratitude, humming love, really allowing myself to receive all this beautiful goodness, and knowing how fortunate I am to have such loving people in my life, and to live in a time when we can share this love, instantaneously, in the form of words, from all over the world, it is amazing.
My second wish.
I am embarking this week on a six month voyage of discovery, in the form of a road trip in a small camper, with a boy I like and a lot of notebooks.
Well, I plan to be discovering for much longer than that, but the first half of my Shmita year will be on the road, or at least that is the plan right now.
My wish is for ease and delight on this trip, and for this embarking. To receive all the qualities and birthday wishes, and let them be the companions for voyaging. I wish for a peaceful and well-provisioned exit/entry. And to feel Wildly Confident while finishing up the last-minute packing.
And a big part of this wish has to do with planning, and the relationship between Joyful Spontaneity and Beautifully Prepared. The former is (for me) about FREEDOM, and the latter about SAFETY and feeling anchored.
Which leads me to the third wish, which is for an app, but really for a peaceful heart, because all wishes about things/solutions are never about that but always about the desire for safety, love, and peaceful kingdoms.
The third wish.
I am somewhat overwhelmed with keeping track of what we know about our voyage on the road.
New intel keeps coming in. My lover has racing days and track days and a canyoneering adventure with a friend. There are dance conventions we want to hit. I have my witchy retreats and my pole dancing classes (that’s a proxy, though I would also be down for actual pole dancing classes).
Anyway, there are a lot of constantly updating variables. I want to be able to see all the information, in one place, and to share this with my traveling companion so that we can both update. And something that is easy to use on a phone.
My ideal solution would be an app that has a calendar function or can sync with google calendar.
I have also looked at things like Trello and Wunderlist, except the language of these things tends to be so…I want to say it sounds like it comes from boy brain, which isn’t really nice, but what I mean is TASKS and To-Do Items, and these incredibly boring and stressful-sounding things are then ASSIGNED to people, with DEADLINES. Yuck.
It is all super depressing, since what I want, both in my life in general, and specifically for sabbatical mode aka clear head aka Rosh Tzalul, is not having any of those things.
Speaking of clarity, let me be very clear.
To be honest, I don’t even want to live in the same world where those things exist.
That whole make-it-happen get-things-done ass-in-chair mentality is the opposite of what I am interested in.
I want to let projects and desires be revealed, not to make them happen. To explore, not to dictate. To be wonderfully surprised by everything I discover while following trails, not bulldozing my way from predetermined Point A to predetermined Point B.
So I realize it may be hard to find something that on the one hand falls into the category of “project management” but is also not so finger-wagging about Doing Things.
If that is possible, I would like it.
If not, then I will take an app my traveling companion and I can use to plot our course, and share details about what we might want to be doing when.
Tell me if you have ideas! Recommendations and suggestions are welcome.
What do I know about what I want?
These wishes are all about trust, joy, delight, and order.
They are about taking active steps (sovereignty!) to make sure I am taken care of, and that my kingdom is taken care of, while at the same time knowing that no matter what happens, All Is Well and I will be okay.
Now.
I am at Svevo’s. Svevo is my uncle, and the most sovereign person I know.
He takes three naps before lunch.
He does what he wants when he wants, does not care at all what anyone else thinks about that, and manages to be kind, gentle and loving without going into caretaking mode. He never tries to change anyone. Animals and small children follow him around.
His house is just like him: peaceful, steady, quiet.
Everything is wood or metal or wool or woven from straw. Plastic doesn’t really have a place here. There are no curtains and you see green of trees in every direction.
I am sitting in his favorite rocking chair, eating hazelnuts from a wooden bowl, and I think, as I always do when I am here, who could possibly need more than this.
Me: Hey, slightly-wiser me, what do you have for me?
She: Isn’t it wonderful that you went through [all the things from the past few years] so that you could get here to this? Isn’t it marvelous that your big business venture/dream crashed and flailed-with-an-l, so that nothing is keeping us from committing to freedom and grand adventures.
Me: (smiles)
She: It seemed at the time like it was a disaster to receive a NO in the face of all your big goals and wishes, and yet those NOs brought you to this big YES. And now you realize that if you had those things, you’d now need to divest of them to be able to follow this yes. And if they were successful, you might have a hard time justifying letting them go. So much freedom. So much sweet, beautiful freedom. Every single NO was treasure. Not rejection, not about you, not about failure, not about anything. Just setting you up to be free in this moment to pursue this.
Clues?
A sign with an image of a BELL on it, then bells from a belltower ringing as I arrived at my uncle’s house.
And then a license plate that said YES.
The superpower of delighting in plenty
The quality for February on the 2015 Fluent Self calendar was APPRECIATE and the superpower was I See Beauty Everywhere.
Now we are in March, and the quality is RECEIVE, with the superpower of delight in plenty.
Hmm. It seems like this is so much easier for me to do when I am in a state of not-doing. So I think even though my Shmita year might means less coming in, it will be easier for me to discern and to delight. To recognize plenty and appreciate it.
Ongoing wishes.
Everything is easier than I thought, and look, miracles everywhere. Ha, this doesn’t require my input! My business is thriving happily without me. I think like a dancer. It’s so perfect it turned out like this. Past me is a GENIUS. I have what I need, and appreciate it. I am fearless and confident. I state my preferences clearly, calmly and easily, not a big deal. I am ready to come into my superpowers and receive.
Things I find helpful when working with intentions and wishes…
Adventure. Rest. Horizons. Security. Passion. Sweetness. Clarity. Presence.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
So. Last week, aka bell exits / exit bells…
My wish was to become a playground. I have been conducting and writing in notebooks, and generally bringing more playground into my life. And I quit three things that were keeping me from being in bell state, and this is new and exciting, and I hope it sticks.
Attenzione! Attention, AGENTS.
If you want a Playground mug with a pack of stone skipping cards inside, I believe we have two mugs left: $30 + $12.65 shipping = $42.65
Just send a note and we’ll set it up. Not sure about international shipping but Richard might know.
Keep me company?
Consider this an open invitation to deposit wishes, gwishes, personal ads. In any size/form you like, there’s no right way. Updates on past experiments are welcome too, as is anything sparked for you.
Commenting culture: This is safe space for creative exploration. We are on permanent vacation from care-taking and advice-giving. We are here to play and throw things in the pot! With amnesty. Leave a wish any time you want.
Here’s how we meet each other’s wishes: Oh, wow. What beautiful wishes.
xox
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Oh wow, what beautiful wishes!
I don’t do calendar stuff on my phone. I mostly don’t need to do calendar stuff at all because I’m generally alone all the time. But a few years ago, I was at a writing retreat where I had to be on time for a ton of things. I hand-drew a grid with all the essentials marked in, in the notebook I took with me everywhere. (And then I ended up not going to very many of the things anyway, because I’d rather commune with the desert, and/or write. Anyway.)
These days, every time some appealing new idea gets me thinking of Grand Plans for Something I Could Do, I pause, take a deep breath, and decide I won’t commit myself to *anything*, even in my imagination. Spouse and I are working on making our lives *smaller*/*less* involved, which is turning out to be surprisingly satisfying.
Bright blessings to all.
Havi, for your third wish, two maybe-possibilities:
https://avocado.io/
https://couple.me/
Glowing hope and love and warmth for you. 🙂
So I must have read it before, but the quality for this month is RECEIVE?! How hilariously appropriate. My Lord.
So much love for this:
“So I realize it may be hard to find something that on the one hand falls into the category of ‘project management’ but is also not so finger-wagging about Doing Things.”
Sigh. I want this, too. Something to keep track of deadlines but present them as OPTIONS, rather than ass-in-chair-go-go-go. “Honey? You wanna go to the dance/BBQ event? It happens in this place at this time, so you have the OPTION to get tickets and be there with yummy food and beer and the possibility of dancing with the Hub. Just sayin’.”
“Sweetie? You wanted a smoother relationship with [person]? You know she’s big on the standard ‘I remembered you!’ occasions, and her birthday is ThisDate. You might consider making/obtaining a card and mailing it the week before. Just an OPTION, if the possibility is still important to you.”
Options and possibilities, not to-do’s and deadlines.
EXACTLY! YES! And all with the assumption of “you are a sovereign being who makes your own choices in a given moment based on how you are feeling in that moment, with no obligation to do something past-you thought you might want to do, because life is about presence and true yes, and not about ticking off all the checklist boxes. Why is this so hard for our culture to grasp.
Your mission, Havi, should you choose to accept it, is to make a Fluent Self App of course! Like Trello but FUN! Check out codewithchris.com and go for it!
Haha if I had not just sworn off all projects for the next year or three, I would totally be into that! <3
What beautiful wishes! And Svevo sounds like my father, right down to the naps and the followers.
Last week I wanted healthy people and even though I knew better than to wish for that, I got it. Hand on heart sigh.
This week I want:
The Thing with the boy. I thought it was just a little thought in my head. But then someone else had the same thought about it. So I guess what I want is maybe a little more there. Some intel maybe. Some courage, too.
Room to climb. Without all the Bolivians.
Happier spreadsheets. Ringier phones.
I’m working on divesting myself of the “boy brain” version of life — to-do lists and goals and all of that — and it’s amazing me how few resources there are to support “notice and respond.”
I’m planting a wish for deep grounding in my dharma and practicing being present and responding to the now, instead of being focused on the future.
“…all wishes about things/solutions are never about that but always about the desire for safety, love, and peaceful kingdoms.”
Yes.
One thing I’m wishing for, now that warmer weather is sneaking in, is an easy, lightweight way to slip my pocket-things (keyring, cell phone, slim wallet) into a pocket that I can *wear* without being bogged down by a heavy jacket. I keep going around in circles on this issue which seems trivial but isn’t. Let me try thinking about it in terms of safety, love, and peace in my realm.
I wish I knew an app to recommend — but when I saw the word “Wunderlist” in your post, I first read it as “Wanderlust,” so there’s that. 🙂
Kathleen, I have had this wish so many times and it is so not trivial! Also I always end up fuming about why aren’t girl clothes made to be practical, not fair not fair, etc. This might have no bearing on your case, for me I have been working with this through using either the Flipbelt or the scarf-with-pocket, or sometimes both. <3
Hi! I know you have already looked at Trello — And I just want to say, that you can make the columns and boards and cards be named ANYTHING YOU WANT, and we love it for that reason. So where some people have “To do, Doing, Done”, you could have “Pom pom, Dance-steps, Camellias.” Or whatever you want. Just something to think about, because i know the examples were probably all totally boring and getting-things-done. It’s superflexible.
Thank you, good to know! <3
About an app, I don’t know; the thing that has worked best for me for a long time has been a plain old paper calendar with each month on a two-page spread, with squares big enough to write things in, a column in the margin for additional notes, and the occasional post-it note. MrB and I, back when we both had a lot of activities to coordinate, would, as we put it, “do calendar” about once a week, more often if things were changing a lot. Pen and paper, it’s the best. A paper calendar can be really flexible, especially if you use pencil. So, Mark is having a party on the 20th; do we want to go? In the calendar I write, “Mark’s party” on the date. Then, because we need to decide and let him know, I would write, a few days before, “Mark’s party?” so that if we had not yet decided, there was a reminder to make the decision and act on it. And if the decision was no, I could easily erase the note about the party.
This week looks eventful. My gwish is to have all the events to eventuate with ease and to do all the things with style and grace. And to be rested.
A Thing has come back to bite us; MrB and I made a plan and then he did something that to me seemed ill-advised and contrary to the plan we’d made, and now the situation is muddied and muddled. I am asking for clarity and perfect simple solutions to manifest themselves without me doing things to make it happen.
This weekend I found, when I was not searching, a connection I needed and some answers I have been looking for. Today I made an eloquent appeal for something I need; my request was well-received and I think that I will get what I need.
And the man who had the key to something I asked for, after I found another way to access it, suddenly came through with a name and some information that helps — I want NOT to be angry that he had the info and brushed off my request until it looked like I was going to get it anyway.
There are a few Things That Need To Be Done By Somebody Who Is Not Me, and I called one of the somebodies and have not heard back. I wish to receive a prompt and positive reply. And I want to have his response before I call the other somebody about the other tasks, and I want him to give a prompt affirmative response.
The weather has improved; it’s too early to think that winter is really over but the prediction for the next few days are for good weather and I wish for energy and opportunities to enjoy that and to make the most of the good days we have.
I wish for the super power of All Doors Open For Me and Helpful People Are Everywhere.
Oh, wow. What beautiful wishes.
Oh, wow. What beautiful wishes.
My wish is for full-bodied ripe YES. And for harmony and congruency, to live in alignment with my values and desired qualities.
may it be so!!
I send you the blessings of the Money Fairy. She’s dressed in a ruffled dress in green print with pots of gold and dollar signs. Her magic wand is tipped with a gold dollar sign. She blesses you with Sufficiency, and Plenty. Her wand emits sparkling gold light. (Most people think of money in context of these qualities, so she’s adopted all those money symbols.