the point isn’t getting my wish (though cool things have emerged from wishing), the point is learning about my relationship with what I want, accessing the qualities…
wanting can be hard, it is easy to feel conflicted about it, and the reasons for that make this a surprisingly subversive practice…
this is the 323rd consecutive week of wishing, come play!
playing in a new form
I am writing these wishes in woem form
not because they are filled with woe —
just the opposite
this week’s wishes fill me with great joy
I am writing these wishes in woem form
(here is another example)
(of what I mean by that)
because sometimes it is useful to
activate a different part of the mind
to access the powers of form, creative play
and fearless
intentional choosing
and also
truth be told, in this moment I feel
intensely unmotivated
to write in any other form
so that’s how it is
right now
and really, what is the practice of wishing if not being deeply present
with WHAT IS
in order to hear the desires emerging in my
thank-you heart
at the foot/head
sunday night was erev rosh hashana (new year’s eve)
literally the eve of the head of the year
I feel strongly about erev, as a concept, as you know
erev, the eve of X, is that breath of entry,
everything that leads to a moment, heightened
anticipation
I wrote in my notebook:
mish’alot b’margelot ha’har
(wishes at the foot of the mountain)
(or really, in the foothills of the mountain)
(a foot pun)
from the ground to the head
friends of friends, in spain, have a sort of nickname for this day
they call it erev rosh: head eve! eve of the head!
feet is a theme lately for me
(grounding, standing in my strength, new foundations)
so if we have reached the eve of the head, and
the year is a cycle, then I must have been just
finishing up the feet
this is how
I decided to wish my wishes for the new year
from the foot of the mountain
a metaphorical mountain, prettier in hebrew
margelot are like
foothills
such a lovely word
wishes for a suite new year
so I already have
this internal joke about quarters/quarters
with each section of the year being like a home
and now the sweet new year sounds
like a suite new year (delight!)
I invited qualities and superpowers for this
new year — this head of a new year —
to come in from where I sat
at the foot
come in, come in!
come in….
beautifully anchored
relaxed panther grace
I love my edges
luscious minimalism
okay, luscious EVERYTHING
what else is seeded with these seeds of light?
I take exquisite care of myself and cherish
myself and the people and objects in my life
practicing fearless intentional choosing —
anything incongruent and disharmonious exits my life quickly and easily,
so that my cherishing powers stay strong….
with beautiful, glowingly powerful boundaries that I
don’t need to enforce because they just are
I radiate presence, inhabit my life
TAKING UP SPACE UNAPOLOGETICALLY
enjoying being
wild and free * joyful and free
grounded and free * passionate and free
loving and free * conscious and free
intentional and free * alive and free
I guess FREEDOM is kind of a big deal this year for me huh
in the wish field
erev rosh felt like an extra powerful wish-field of support
in which to whisper
oh wow what beautiful wishes
I wrote fifty two wishes for the new year
no, I liberated them
from my heart
into a notebook of secret red balloons
and in the wish streams
monday was tashlich
my favorite ritual
both communal (everyone descends to the river)
and solitudinal (you, alone, with your thoughts)
you cast breadcrumbs into the water for
anything you regret or
anything asking to be release
you let go of the year so that there is space for incoming you
compass
a bread crumb landing in water is like skipping a stone
it makes a compass around itself
echoing out in circles
this year
I didn’t have so much to release
this year of easing & releasing
has been so intense
my time by the river this year
felt much lighter
there have been times
I’ve neglected myself
or the beautiful container of my body
forgotten sovereignty and stirred
many unnecessary stew pots
said thoughtless things
mostly though
I feel peaceful with this year
with these feet, with this ground
with this rippling out
welcome, welcome, new beautiful year, I love you already
and thank you, past year for
everything, from the very hard to the
very sweet, each moment of you was treasure
in its own way, and I am so grateful
to be alive
thank you for teaching me some hard things, and as
Claire of the Mysteries says, also
thanking me for being receptive to learning them
anything else about this?
sometimes I have conflicted thoughts
about every aspect of
wishing
and even this weekly ritual
(which I love)
and then I remember: my whole life is a Wishery
that is, space for getting quiet
enough
to hear my true yes desires
and release
all that needs releasing
amen
now
I am emptying my house, preparing
to move somewhere
much smaller
that might not exist
(yet)
and found a lovely copper colored vase
if you put a tea light inside
it flickers in the
most remarkable pattern
I’d been storing pencils in it
not even knowing
how it glows
superpower of fearless intentional choosing.
august was trust more
now I am ready to stand in my strength more,
as september brings fearless intentional choosing
these three words are also the
true elements of turning inward
to reveal wishes or
(woe-less) woems
last week’s wishes
aka majestic and wild and so very alive…
I wanted the superpower of “don’t fuck with me” grace — like a powerful horse,
and I received this, or moments of it
and loved it and want more
invitation: come play with me…
you are invited to share many !!!!!! about what is here,
or share anything sparked for you while reading
deposit wishes, gwishes, superpowers, qualities, ingredients, intel, possibly in code
safe space for creative exploration asks us to let go of care-taking and advice-giving
wishes are never late because whenever you wish is the right time for wishing
here’s how we meet each other’s wishes: oh, wow what beautiful wishes
♡
Follow
Look here, goodness, I’d forgotten there were woems!
Or: Dear goodness, look what I’ve forgotten. It’s lucky I can remember at any time.
Anyway, I went straightaway
to write one.
There it was, a step lighter than my earlier stones. So I dropped ’em.
Went up, up by way of woem. Wrote, Look here,
loll about like you been doing. Carry on!
Just try to lay
even. more. still. Quite a bit more, even.
Sleep even more.
It’s lucky.
There are woems to remind me.
Yes! I had forgotten too
until a very purple Agent Purple
reminded me
and then holy shit I used to write
woems all the time
when did I stop
<3 for you and for "by way of woem", which is beautiful
I feel a tiny gentle rain of adoration when I read:
((((I’d been storing pencils in it
not even knowing
how it glows))))
And I wonder
which of my own glowing things
have I been
ignoring in favor of
being practical
tidy
efficient
and other grownup things?
yes I wonder too
about all the ways I
have misunderstood the purposes
of a receptacle —
what if everything is meant to
receive and glow
and thank you for that
useful question about
grownup things, I want
to ask that too!
<3
Yes. FEET. Just last week
I was repeatedly dreaming of shoes
And toes and ankles and I would wake up
with luxurious stretching of my arches.
Sharing thoughts about grounding, and the difference
Between safety and vulnerability. One cannot
Wear shoes at the same time as not wearing shoes.
Wearing only one shoe isn’t good for a body.
And here we are, at this threshold, deciding
Whether to have our skin open to the world
Or if the protection and structure is more important.
Love and sweetness to you.
Today I wish to disappear.
to vanish
not forever
not ceasing to exist
just to be Invisible a little while.
like a turtle retreats into its shell for safety.
or a hedgehog rolls up in a little ball,
soft, warm and safe inside,
but all you can see is spines.
or like a snake
shedding a skin
I’ll leave the old one to scare people away
And slither off into the bushes,
smell the flowers, look at the moon,
alone,
just thinking.
It’s funny how
all the things fall down
and apart
and away
and the cat sitter is gone
and the lobster boat is gone
(which kept wanting to be lobster goat)
and the writing class is gone
(because the money is gone)
and the things that are here
push and press and scratch
and make it hard to breathe
and you try
to remember
that now is not then
but now is the then of the future
so maybe it is then then
and you aren’t going to drop your basket
but maybe you will put it down
for a little while
and rest.
fearless
intentional
choosing
oh yes oh yes oh yes!
this is my wish for the week.
may my choosing be intentional.
intentional spontaneity
intentional deliberation
and fearless!
or, if there is fear,
let me treat it kindly,
let me remember
that it wants to be kind
to me.
I am inviting Confidence.
Hello!
May you glow
Like copper
lit from within
so many beautiful wishes.
My head
keeps wanting
to make jokes about Head Eve
(for the British value of head)
and notice
that there is a link
there
to using one’s superpowers
as it were
and while the joke
has not quite gelled
this woem
will serve
instead.
oh that is very good
I thought you might appreciate it. 😀
Oh stuff
you have been stuffocating
stuffleupagy
stuffsteruckferous
how do I turn you
into stuffing
of the buttery
mushroomy
savory
side dish as superstar
can’t get enough of
stufftasticness?
… bouquets and !!!! to all y’all, and l’shana tova!
Tetony:
muscle spasm
from low calcium
— who knew? And
it’s happening again
even with supplements
so now what?
Feet:
they hurt
Shoes never fit
I keep thinking I need to buy new ones
but Inowanna –
the iguana should walk in my shoes
maybe it would decide to
let me
buy
better ones.
Play: when did I stop playing?
I think I stopped when X
and now Y has happened
can I play with that?
And for a trip
to Tulsa so I can climb the tree
that I told people I climbed but
didn’t really.
Iguanas to the margins,
play and good shoes
and for the “now what?” to make
itself known to me
and a chance to climb that tree
My desires are simple!
Such beauty
and play
in woems formed
and breathtaking
lightening
lifting of woems
offered
I brought my woes
here to play
I thought
but
the puddle
of my woes
evaporated
and now
it’s raining
sparkles
I love your new wishes logo.
Pomegranate seeds of desire…
beautiful.
And the copper vase story,
yes yes yes yes yes,
thank you for that, which
seeded my own wish:
I wish to remember
that I, too, flicker
in the most remarkable patterns,
when properly lit from within.
I wish to remember
my own glow.
Happy New Year, Havi!
(and what a beautiful
pomegranate! Hurrah
for wishing and for pomegranates!)
Today I wish
[silent retreat] [silent retreat]
and what I mean by that is
FREE
I wish for freedom from The Rules I wish
for freedom
I wish to stop replacing Rules with Other Rules
not to be a good this or a good that
not to be a good girl or a good feminist
just to be fiercely intensely fully Kathleen
9/20/15
“Woe, oh woe,” shriek the Woe Chorus
who wear ashes in their long, disheveled hair,
and sooty black robes.
Whose white faces resemble the person in The Scream.
“You know you require more information than most
More time than most
That you were rushed and flustered.
Your Garmin did not take you to the Train Station.
So the long-awaited Train trip to San Diego where it was Cooler did not happen.
You screamed bad words and cried.
And tried to tell the organizer that you went home,
but it was a Home Phone, not a Cell Phone.
And the Well-Meaning Dude said it was their fault.
But They did not know.
Because you did not tell them that you need to know The Plan,
In Detail.
And you chain-read.
And perspired.
Oh, Woe! Ah, Woe!”
Exit Woe Chorus.
heart of love!
Books with my name on them
in a parcel with my name on
stay wrapped up on the bookshelf.
I leave the things that are too much.
My objects are settling into places.
Breathing’s important and I remember
but only because first I forget.
It’s okay for me to be as I am,
earnest, cutting, afraid to drive the car.
Every day I think how we’ll die
and feel amazed and confused
and so happy to have another day
to have another go at being.
Wanting is getting easier to notice
because feelings are easier
to notice because I’m being a body.
I am seeking a new poetics
that may be like the old one
and simple, excited about itself,
practicing connection, curious,
treasuring safety, scientific,
something to grow on.