So it’s been nearly three years since my discovery that my company is a semi-magical pirate ship, and I am a pirate queen.
Being a pirate queen has helped me through all sorts of business and personal challenges. Like the thing with the hackers.
Design challenges too. We now fly the Jolly Selma at the Playground.
Anyway, what follows is part of a conversation between me and the pirate queen.
Who is me. Sometimes.
Sometimes.
Me: So I’m an idiot, because I only just realized that I am Bruce Wayne to your Batman.
Pirate queen: You mean how you do good in the world through generosity while I do good in the world through being a badass?
Me: Not even close to what I meant but ohmygod that’s so true.
Which is funny because normally I resist the word “generosity”, but you’re talking about the process of giving information, compassion and amnesty on the blog. And that kind of makes sense.
Actually, I was thinking about how I become you when certain things need to be done.
Pirate queen: And I become you when certain other things need to be done.
Me: What?!?! What’s wrong with you? Why would you want to become me? I’m a mess.
Pirate queen: *grins her knowing grin*
I don’t get it.
Me: Seriously. I don’t get it.
Pirate queen: You can’t see what you are. Batman needs Bruce Wayne to buy cool shit and care about the tools. And to be in his Bruce-ness.
Except that Bruce is not particularly self-aware. But you spend your days destuckifying and discovering. You create the culture that allows me to soar.
Me: Soar? You know about that?
Pirate queen: Honey, I was there.
Me: Right. Sorry. I forgot.
Pirate queen: The point is, you being in your full Havi-ness, radiating and humming it… that’s how you help me. It’s not like I’m the cool one and you’re the dork. That’s Superman. We both have powers. Sometimes it’s more effective to have you making decisions, and sometimes it’s more effective to have me act on them. And since we’re aspects of the same unified whole, I don’t need to finish this sentence.
Me: *giggles*
Asking for help.
Me: So I’m really in the stuck right now. As you know. Except I’m not. I’m observing myself in it and I see all the ways around this wall that is not a wall.
Pirate queen: This is about how long it’s been taking to do X, yeah?
Me: Yep! And normally what I would do is find the useful. Now is not then. Alignment. Five clews.
Pirate queen: And this doesn’t count as normally?
Me: I need your help.
Pirate queen: Let’s use our pirate ship as a proxy. So we’re here on the ship and we thought it would take us five days to arrive at the hidden island. But it’s been two weeks and we’re not there yet. Even though you can see it from the crow’s nest.
The hidden island.
Me: Ahhhh, the hidden island. In all this frustration over things taking longer than expected, I forgot about the marvelous magical place we’re going.
Pirate queen: And what do we know about that?
Me: Everything is about entry. Conscious entry. Preparing for the voyage. Enter as you wish to be in it.
Of course! It’s taking longer because I need more time for entry. That’s the useful part that I couldn’t find. It’s useful because I need this time to release the things I can’t bring with me to the hidden island.
Pirate queen: See what I mean? It’s so great being you because you process things so quickly. It’s all the Shiva Nata.
Me: Okay, so if I want us to get to the hidden island, I need to be the version of me who is ready to be on the hidden island this time. I need to let go of the rules, projections, narratives and expectations that don’t belong there.
Pirate queen: Do what needs to be done and I’ll head the ship where she needs to go.
We both sing: “And we’ll point her nose for the southernmost star, and we’re bound for the Hidden Island! Away, Bullies, away….”
Let go. Switch. Exit and enter.
Me: First let’s return everyone else’s expectations to them. Everyone’s ideas of what needs to happen or how things should be. The things they project onto me. The things they desire from me that they really desire from themselves but put onto me because they don’t know how to take care of themselves. Giving it all back.
Pirate queen: Nice. Now there’s some wind in our sails.
Me: If there is anything on this ship that is not harmonious and congruent with our mission, it needs to be released or transformed. Immediately.
Pirate queen: That’s what I’m talking about, babe. This is the stuff you’re good at.
Me: Is there anything here that’s not from now? Anything reminding me of then? Here’s the deal. THIS IS NOW. This ship is only equipped to carry things from now. So we can make safe rooms for scared, hurt selves from then. But we are coming into NOW. This ship is powered by presence and by present time.
Pirate queen: Yes yes yes yes yes.
Me: We’re going to enter as we wish to be in it. The Hidden Islands need us to to be sovereign, strong, conscious, curious, loving, playful, courageous, light-hearted and peace-filled.
Pirate queen: Say it and we become it.
Me: We are ready.
Pirate queen: We are ready.
Exit and entry, again.
Me: So what happens now?
Pirate queen: Whatever you want.
Me: What do you mean?
Pirate queen: I’m taking us to the hidden islands. You’re going to tell people about the parts you can tell them about. And get us some more tools.
Me: That’s it?
Pirate queen: That’s EVERYTHING. Thank you for helping.
Me: Wait, so I come to you for help and end up helping you?
Pirate queen: Us.
Me: I still don’t know what to do.
Pirate queen: It doesn’t matter what you do. It matters that now we’re ready. Go eat breakfast, dance it up and find the most fun way to do just one thing. I know what to do with the wind.
Play with me. The commenting blanket fort.
Everyone has stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. Or playing with it. It’s a process.
We make room for people to have their own experience by not telling each other what to do or how to feel.
If you would like to return other people’s expectations, try it. It’s fun!
If you’d like to interview an aspect of yourself, or find out what you know, that’s welcome too.
I would also love hand-on-heart sighs or some singing of sea-shanties.
Also, does this make Barrington my Alfred Pennyworth? Far out.
Love to all the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers and everyone who reads.
And! For more practicing of conscious entry, see the Art of Embarking. The prerequisite for everything I’m teaching this coming year. Still at Plum Duff prices for another week or so.
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Ooooh! Mmmmmm… Hand on very full heart. Sigh. Mmmmmm.
It sounds fun to return other people’s expectations. I am going to try that! There aren’t very many – I think most of them sail on by without sticking, but I could be delusional. I’m going to get out my magnifying glass and have a look around.
Thanks!
Oooooooooooh. M! Hand on very full heart Sigh!
This blog post makes me feel so light inside.
Light-hearted. Free.
There is a reason for the not-arriving yet! And it makes so much sense.
Oh hello. I was just at this store yesterday – and the day before that, and the day before that, and every single day before that, come to think of it – and would like to return some things. A lot of things, actually, some of which are quite old and worn. I hear the return policy here is very generous. (This woman, Havi, tipped me.)
I would like to return the expectation that I should be “over” all the problems originating from my teenage years.
I would like to return the expectation that I should be able to read your mind.
I would like to return the expectation that I should have outgrown the, um, thing.
I would like to return all these different projections – yes, ALL of these. I picked them up in a hurry because I thought I was supposed to, but then I realized I don’t need them anymore. Or I didn’t need them ever.
I would like to return a whole bunch of suits which no longer fit me. Yes, I realize that half of them make me look really ridiculous. That’s why I’m returning them, what do you THINK?
Thanks. You do indeed have a very generous policy.
Hand-on-heart sigh, full body sigh, for this.
As so often happens, watching you model the process is illuminating.
I’m so stuck on a very important thing with a looming deadline and not at all where I expected/hoped to be, not doing what I thought I would be doing by now.
I can use this as the basis of a destuckifying script to get moving on this very important thing.
Thank you for that “process of giving information, compassion and amnesty on the blog.”
Happy Hanukkah Havi
And thank you for this beautiful gift of returning things which are not mine.
xox
mmmm. sigh…
for congruencies and your words. been learning about allowing myself to be the me that i am now instead of the me-who-i-was-when-i-made-decisions-two-years-ago…
so let’s see. what expectations would i like to release?
ah yes.
the expectation that i should be psychic and know what the future will hold.
the expectation that i should get it right.
the expectation that i should have it all figured out by now.
the expectation that the newness won’t be scary and will only be exciting…
thanks!
jessica
So many levels of great stuff here. Such a wonderful springboard for my own stuff. Thank you, thank you.
Happy Hanukkah!
There is so much good in this post.
Today feels like a good day for me to return other people’s expectations — and to make sure that I can really tell the difference between other people’s and my own. Come to think of it, maybe I’ll release a few of my own while I’m at it!
hand on heart sigh
Oh! I knew I had to come here. I KNEW it! And now I find out why. Because you are talking about Batman! 😀 I love this so, so much. I mean, what you are saying is beautiful and true.
And also, because you always say that you’re a bit outside the normal pop culture thing, and that you don’t get the references, and so on, I never expect you to like the things I like, and I’m always so surprised and delighted when you do. And not just like it, but GET it. The character dynamics and stuff.
Would this make Selma Robin? I don’t know, she doesn’t seem quite that… subordinate to you.
What about villains? Do we have a Joker? Should I stop geeking now? Would you like to see a chihuahua attacking a cuddly Joker? Here you go… http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/408239_2622066145238_1062746571_2801257_839238651_n.jpg
*love*
When the Pirate Queen grinned, I was suddenly reminded of my own alter ego who grins in a way I generally don’t.
She is the Quirky Goddess.
She is playful, and fun, and silly, but does whatever she figures is RIGHT. She doesn’t give a damn about what other people think, because a lot of the time, people are taking things too seriously or too personally. Not that serious is bad, though it can get in the way of figuring out the best way to do something or say something. Relaxed and joyous and fun, however, is always good.
I, on the other hand, may have forgotten how to ignore what other people think. In fact, I suspect I’ve been taking things so seriously or personally, that I’ve actually pretended that I knew what other people might be thinking, and that somehow these thoughts should influence me.
Meanwhile, (to borrow Havi’s ship metaphor for a moment, since I haven’t moused out one for myself yet) this is MY voyage, not anyone else’s. It doesn’t *really* matter that it’s taken “two weeks” to even *find* my own personal hidden island when it was only supposed to take “five days” to reach it.
Yes, there’s definitely some time-related stress here. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that I have to jump off the ship onto whatever island is closest and settle for whatever is there. I mean, I am making sure to take the ship past a few alternate options, just in case things really do get too rocky to proceed, but I’m not ready to disembark yet. (Some days, sure. But in general, no.)
Whew. Wow. Yeah. And you know what? I definitely needed time for entry. I needed to find my own way in. Actually, I needed to build my own boat by a design I worked out myself, by trial and error of all things… and the time spent doing that doesn’t necessarily need to count against the journey time. (There’s a little matter about convincing some others of this fact, but now that *I* believe it, this shouldn’t be all that difficult.)
Strangely (or perhaps not so strangely, since I see this happening a lot around here), I am reading this post at exactly the right time for me. Today I will be taking some big steps to externally handle this time-related difficulty, and I am grateful for the extra dose of internal ease that this post sprinkled on my breakfast cereal. 🙂