Personal ads! They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my Sunday ritual. Yay, ritual!
Let’s do it.
Thing 1: Recovery time.
Here’s what I want:
The last two weeks have been so outrageously hectic that all I can do is shake my head and say hmmmmm. Though sometimes it’s more like a harrumph.
Anyway.
I want some relaxation. Not the “now I’m sick so I have to stay in bed” kind either.
Ways this could work:
Something spa-ish? Like a massage?
Or no emergencies this week?
I don’t know. But I’m open to stuff shifting on this.
My commitment.
To pay attention to my patterns. To remember that my stuff does not define the whole of who I am.
To do Dance of Shiva when I get stuckified. To ask for help. To notice things. To remind myself how much better everything is when I’m rested.
Thing 2: A bunch of new Shivanauts to play with
Here’s what I want:
To grow the community. More people to discuss epiphanies with. To play with.
To do shivanautical wackiness together.
Ways this could work:
More people deciding to play with the Starter Kit, hang out on the blog, offer bits of interestingness for me to post about …
Selma and I might also do a small teacher-training this year that’s not really for teachers but more an excuse to hang out and Shiva it up to incredibly inappropriate music, and journal and move and rest.
A wild rumpus training. WIth epiphanies. Whooo!
My commitment.
To give this time. All of it.
To trust. To wait. To have fun with it. To practice.
And of course to hang out on Pearl’s blog and the new Shiva Nata Group Blog and other places that are fun.
Thing 3: Clarity
Here’s what I want:
I have a stuckified thing that I don’t want to talk about. I’m like Cher in Moonstruck. Much gesturing with the hands on this one.
I don’t want to talk about it!
And this particular stuckness is showing up in my body too.
I want … movement, insight, clearing-up of things not working.
Ways this could work:
Not entirely sure. But I will keep talking to my walls.
And being patient.
My commitment.
To be open to unexpectednesses.
To reach out when I’m ready.
To talk to some of the exceptionally wise people I know about this.
To cut myself some slack.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
My gentleman friend and I managed a morning walk (what I’d asked for) every single day.
Except for Wednesday, which was a ridiculously hellish day anyway, and we did manage to get out in the afternoon.
Hugely happy about that.
Didn’t do too much with tax prep stuff but what did get done was very useful. And I’ve been getting lots of help from my new bookkeeper.
And no, I did not buy flowers for Hoppy House.
But I did think about it a couple times. And, despite all my stuff about how spending money on anything non-business-related is “extravagant” and bad, went out and bought the most stunningly gorgeous lamp in the entire world.
Which should count for something. Because it’s filling Hoppy House with light and happiness. And I like those things.
Comments. Since I’m already asking …
I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about what I would like to receive in the comments.
Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
What I would rather not have:
- Reality theories.
- Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
- To be judged or psychoanalyzed.
My commitment.
I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird.
Thanks for doing this with me!
Follow
Wishing you all the recovery time you need, all the new Shivanauts you want, and all the insights and clarity that are necessary to get some movement on this stuckified thing. 🙂
Oh, and the Shiva Nata teacher training program! I was thinking about it no later than yesterday, remembering you had mentioned this as a possibility last summer in Taos. I can’t wait to know more about it, and I hope I’ll be able to be part of it.
As for my own VPA:
What I want:
Clarity about what I want my trip to California to look like, so that I can make my plans and buy my plane tickets accordingly. And I’d need this to happen soon, as this thing is happening later this month!
Ways this could work:
I could sit with it, meditate, write, whatever would be helpful to see more clearly what I feel like inside.
I could stop trying to figure out a way to get to meet my friend in California during that trip since it looks like it’s not meant to happen this time.
I could talk to the other retreat participants and see if that helps me make the decisions I need to make.
I’m open to surprises.
My commitment:
To take some time to think this through, and to listen to what’s happening inside.
To start looking seriously for the info I still need to be able to make up my mind.
To try and ask for help.
.-= Josiane´s last post … Taking action instead of resolving to do so =-.
A whole new year! Hooray!
So glad for the VPA format. It really helps.
Thing 1: (more of a VPA in progress, and continuing)
** Here’s what I want
More right people, or, more time with the ones I know already! I am having so much fun with the right people that are moving in towards my life– and I’m brave enough to be part of my own little right people dimension… pretty much, I’d like to continue growing with my right people, and continue noticing them when they are around!
In some ways this feels like the ugly duckling story (apologies to Selma; it could just as easily have been the ugly cygnet story) where the little chickie just happened by accident of birth/hatching to be in the wrong flock, and through various trials, finally finds her right flock… but at first is so dazzled by them she can hardly believe how beautiful, funky, creative and brilliant her right flock is, and can hardly imagine belonging there….
**Ways this could work
I could meet them through friends, randomly, at events or places that I think are generally fun…
I can continue growing my friendships with all the fantabulous people I’ve met this year and in past years!
**My commitment
Putting out and accepting invites to various events and projects and coffees and what-have-yous that sound like they might be fun… Not isolating with the computer 🙂
So far, so good-
Thing 2:
**Here’s what I want-
New direction that takes me out of incubation in my little cocoon. I’m ready. Now, I just need to know an inkling of my direction….and some momentum… Vrooom!!
**Here’s how it could work-
GENTLY! This time, forcible change isn’t what I want. I’m working by the adage that you don’t need to see the top of the stairs to take the first step. So please, no change thrust upon me for right now. I’m going to take the GRE and see what I find out by doing that. Grad school is a perhaps, but it could also be some completely unforeseen opportunity. Where I have been has been a safe place to rest, but any longer, and it’ll be stagnation. So it could be presented on a silver platter, it could be something that occurs to me and I have to work for, my right people that I am connecting and reconnecting with may have insight about me that I am not aware of… I could dream it and have it occur to me that way, or any other possibility I haven’t thought of.
**My commitment-
To be a very good observer, listening and watching for the information and gut feelings that I need to gather data. Especially to love and trust myself, as when I have, I’ve never steered myself wrong yet. 🙂
Thing 3:
(too shy to put it out on the intarwebs, but I am writing it and putting it in a little box for VPAs by my desk)
**Here’s what I want-
**Here’s how it could happen-
**My commitment-
Thing 4:
**Here’s what I want-
More stability and peace, less anxiety in my life. Although it’s not something that rules my life, when I feel it, I don’t like the anxiety. Generally it comes up when I go into avoidance mode. I want to be more aware of this pattern and re-route it in a ways that I know work for me and are more loving, gentler and healthier for myself.
** ways this could happen–
Noticing the feeling, and noticing habits and patterns– responding in ways that I know have worked well in the past- gently encouraging myself, and reminding myself that I feel better when I tackle a little bit at a time, starting now, rather than getting fearful and avoiding until there is a backup of some kind.
Doing things that make me feel good- regular exercise, good sleep habits, good eating habits, things that I really enjoy 90% of the time, and when I forget or drift away from 10% of the time, can cause more trouble than needed.
** Commitment
I will be gentle in taking on the world. I’ll be gentle with myself especially, too. 🙂
xoxo!
Ingrid
I would love to have names of very good graphic designers who can help me by designing ads for my web site class section. I would be able to send this out to all my peps on my Constant Contact database list.
I would love any one to send me names. I live in Portland and would love to support great people here in this city.
.-= Sherold Barr´s last post … Vote for Consciousness =-.
Waving “hi” to havi and selma!
My VPA:
*What I want (first thing):
To be clearly inspired concerning the next right steps on my new blog. What to offer to my people for free that they can take with them. How to let more of the fun side of ME out in my writing and blog presentation.
*Ways this could work:
My right people/clients could keep asking me for what they need and in turn, if possible, share that I can meet those needs in a clear and authentic way on my blog.
Thru great conversation with my fantabulous (@ingrid – love this word) right people.
Thru dreams – love when this happens!
Thru any other connections, so-called chance meet-ups/run-ins, or reading others’ write-ups.
Not sure…but there are many other ways I am VERY sure of it.
*My commitment:
To keep working with my stuff – as gently as I can muster. To try to get more sleep. To take time to relax and do something I truly enjoy more.
To keep asking, trust, try to be patient and be open to answers in all forms.
*What I want: (second thing)
For my right people to find my blog/ME. People thru the internets especially.
*Ways this could work:
Connections thru the VPAs here.
Twitter – I am getting to love twitter!
Continuing to find other blogs I like and commenting on their amazing posts.
Not sure…but there are many more ways I am VERY sure of it.
*My commitment:
To be patient. Trust. Keep breathing. To keep having fun with continuing to create my blog and to take a break if I am not.
To keep reading others’ blogs and reaching out for the connection.
Thank you havi, selma and everyone who shares here – if it weren’t for your words and heartfelt sharing I would opt out of sharing myself. Or not be nearly as brave.
.-= Maya @animalswisdom´s last post … To Endings and New Beginnings. To Connection and Communication. =-.
What I Want: The moderator for a community I’m part of to show back up and start doing her job again. Then not ever do this disappearing act again.
Ways This Could Happen: – She could answer the e-mails and messages people have sent her.
– She could magically show up and apologize, tell us her computer has been down. Then post all of the things she’s been sitting on.
– Her co-mods could step in and actually do their jobs.
– Someone like me could share with her some communication tips about how silence during problem times is more upsetting than a simple note of “off-computer life keeping me busy, there will be delays”.
My Commitment: – To give her a reasonable chance to improve her communication.
– To not lay into her for her most recent disappearance.
What I Want:
To figure out what the universe is trying to tell me about what I’m supposed to be doing (my Thing?). I thought it was one Thing, but now some people seem to think it’s another Thing (a Thing I like better than the first Thing) but my life is kind of built on that first Thing, hence the confusion.
Ways it could happen:
I could experiment with asking people for money when they want my help with that other Thing.
I could talk to my trusted people about ways it could work to do Both Things.
I could sit on my meditation cushion.
My Commitment:
At least 15 minutes of meditation per day.
Talk to someone about it.
What Else I Want:
To care less what other people are doing by checking out their online stuff and comparing my life to theirs.
Ways This Could Happen:
Clear internet cache so getting to their site takes more effort (this works surprisingly well.)
Limit checking to once per day. And realize that not mindlessly surfing will not harm me in any way.
Reach out to one of these people in particular in person.
Sit on my meditation cushion.
My Commitment:
To do those things.
I want to get back on track with my self care program , particularly with regard to healthy eating and exercise.
I want this to happen with a combination of ease and energy. No shoulds nor guilt. The feeling of doing this out of love and nurturing.
My commitment is to do this with compassion and with delicious food.
Happy New Year Havi,
I love how open you are to all of us. Your candor and generosity of spirit has really helped me grow, and recognize that the obstacles I have in front of me are temporary and enable me to grow and be that person I am.
A few ideas and thoughts that I think about, wishing and hoping someday that you would read my mind and write about.
1. Is ignorance bliss? All the “stuff” we work on is painful, and does lead to amazing insight, but the process is exhausting and sometimes shattering. Maybe help answer why we do it.
2. How do you create the boundary where you are able to stop the other person from taking your energy, and giving you their thoughts and fears. Is there a way to shake off their stuck?
3. Ways and ideas to let go and give up suffering based on beliefs and patterns.
Happy 2010! Ursula
Oooh, a wild rumpus training! Just yesterday I started trying to reverse what Andrey does on screen in level 3. (Which I guess is actually doing exactly what he does instead of mirroring him? Just thinking about it, well, bzzzzz, and… neural misfire.) To feel out what teaching would be like (gulp) and because I’m needing to make it harder. And there is much flailing and wackiness. And I just want to say Yay to shivanautical community and play and growth. And epiphanies, of course.
And fairy dust to everyone’s VPAs.
.-= Briana´s last post … Idea! Connection reflection. And bunnies. =-.
The last week of the year was full of yuck for me, too, although probably different yucks and stucks than you. Thank goodness it’s over! WOO!
So happy to be a part of that awesomely wacky group of Shivanauts now, and thank you for linking the blog! I really should buy a domain for it soon haha. I’m so pleased at how quickly the bloggers involved have jumped right in with comments and help and just regularly ol’ encouragement. Very warm and fuzzy. It’s just a group journal but so far it’s working out better than I’d hoped. If you would like to write on it with us, I can email you an invite!
No VPA for me, just coasting along, trying to create small places in my life and day to do what I want and need to do. I’m taking this month slowly and peacefully (I hope). I am using January to launch the year, like the Communicatrix said. LOVE that idea.
This is turning out to be a bit more disjointed than I thought; I think the shivanata did some jumbly stuff to my brains and I’m still adjusting. I love it!
Have a lovely, peaceful week Havi. You deserve it!
I want writing time.
This could work by some co-operation from my kids and spouse so that my interruptions are reduced. Or, I could find a way to work while my kids play. Or, maybe, I could even consider a mother’s helper.
My commitment is that when I get time, I will use it to write instead of using it tweet / surf / look at photos / generally waste time on the internet. I also commit to not feeling discouraged if I don’t get as much time as I would like, in the exact way I would like it.
Have a great week! 🙂
.-= Amber´s last post … What I Learned in December 2009 =-.
1. What I Want:
To get a solid, livable, financial plan in place for this year so I can Finally TRAVEL DAMMIT. I want to spend my 30th birthday (1/6/2011) in a foreign country and have a minimum of 3 weeks travel time. I want to meet my debt/living expense obligations while also saving for this extremely important trip.
How This Might Happen:
I know or might meet someone that is good at making budgets that are livable and responsible, and they will sit with me over a bottle of wine/whisky/ or beers and help me make a plan.
I buckle down and dedicate an entire day to figuring this out and try to keep the crying and fighting with math to a minimum. I do not panic and give up hope when the numbers tell me it is impossible.
I win the lottery, pay off my debt, put stuff in storage and travel as soon as possible.
My Commitment:
To use Shiva Nata to try and look more closely at my patterns with finances.
To ask someone for help with planning and the math part because I always get that wrong.
To do my best to not beat myself up and feel stuck and hopeless. I will be kind and gentle and recognize this as stuckness and not a failed part of myself.
To buy at least 3 lottery tickets this year
This week, as I gaze into a new week, a new year, and the end of the holiday season — and as the scary pile of Things To Do begins to press upon me yet again — I am asking for freedom from old and seemingly hopeless patterns. I’m sick and tired of the feeling that I must choose between being happy *or* productive. I want to find a new way.
How this could happen: Shiva Nata, and plenty of hot buttered epiphanies. Continuing to absorb and apply the tools I’ve been learning, here on the blog and in the Procrastination Dissolve-o-Matic. Getting in touch with the many selves inside me, and letting them help each other.
My commitment: I will be extremely kind to myself. I will greet my old patterns with compassion, without being overly impressed by them. And yes, I too will remember that my stuff does not define the whole of who I am.
P.S. I would *love* to be involved in all sorts of Shiva Nata play! YayJ
(That was meant to be “Yay!” not “YayJ”. It’s hard to proofread the tiny print on my cell phone’s screen…)
Havi, I have the urge to draw you flowers and mail them to you, so Hoppy House has at least one bouquet at all times. Maybe if I can find some breathing space this week for it — I signed up for Creative Every Day 2010, and am doing well so far.
Update on Previous: I put in for a wee contest to get some copy writing help and actually won, and made a new client in the process! Antemortem will get a little copy facelift, and I get to make some cool notebooks for @copygeniusgirl. Definitely a sign of continued abundance!
Today’s Ask: I’m going to reiterate my ask for the year: Better.
How This Could Happen: Small improvements in many places. Big improvements in just a few. Hard work paying off. Investments returning many-fold.
My Commitment: To keep investing, paying attention, working and creating and trying. To find the places where old systems are breaking down and replace them instead of shoring them up. To work on my stucknesses, my priorities, and petting my kitties more.
.-= Amy Crook´s last post … Be a Cartoon! =-.
@Ingrid: “a little box for VPAs by my desk”? That is fabulous! Ooh, project for this evening. Thanks for the idea.
@Havi and Shivanauts: I’ve been wanting to come hang out for some time, but I had this stuck of I’m-too-much-of-a-newbie (I will have practiced for 1 month tomorrow). But hey, I’m not the only one it appears! So I will come hang out, because I am loving the Shiva Nata thing. More projects for this evening.
Also – re: relaxing – have any hot springs/thermal baths nearby? I highly recommend…
OK, progress on past Very Personal Ads!
Last week I asked for some better habits in my communication, and I said it would be my VPA for 2010. Well… good thing I have another 51 weeks to work on it, heh heh 😉
Also, I made up a little VPA yesterday morning, which was to figure out why I can’t seem to wake up earlier than a certain hour, and why I need unreasonable amounts of sleep. Later that day, I happened to read something about this that really made a ton of sense. And today, after doing some Shiva Nata and meditation (!!), I watched the sun rise.
So my new Very Personal Ad is for some life-adjustments to be made so that I can wake up at an hour that I like.
How this could happen: I probably need to look more deeply into why I was hibernating to begin with. Also, keep up the changes I’ve made in my environment. Plan on a regular Shiva Nata time. And look into a couple of other stucknesses I know are related.
My commitment: I will prepare for this the night before. I won’t beat myself up if I wake up late. And I also won’t force myself into something if I’m not ready.
Hope this week brings answers to everyone’s Ads!
@ilikered “pearbudget” is an online budgety thing that is less icky and more intuitive than you would think- I’ve only used the absolutely free version (I didn’t even sign up for the free-trial) but when I did, somehow it made me feel a little better for having done it, even though it told me I had a significant shortfall. (my pattern of fear & avoidance conquered by acknowledgement of the situation)
@amber – I have a vision of you co-opping with another writermom! 😀
Yay for morning walks! The shivanaut teacher Thing sounds great. Also, a suggestion for the flowers: maybe a plant that has flowers is an option? An orchid maybe? You’d only have to invest once, or you can even get a cutting (don’t know if that’s the right word) from someone else’s plant and nurture it to floweringhood. That’s only investing time and love. Plants like this one are easy to grow – just break off a bit and stick it in some dirt. It has flowers from November – January.
My Very Personal Add:
I’d like to have some more working flow this week, like I had yesterday morning.
This could work by creating the right circumstances / ritual to work. To hang in there just a bit past the time I would normally give up and procrastinate. To chop up the work in ridiculously manageable parts and celebrate finishing those parts. I could remember the things that used to spark my enthusiasm for the work. Or some other magic I haven’t thought of.
My commitment is to make time and space for work to happen. To prioritize it.
Yes on the Shivanauts! I’ve gotten the CD, I’ve even done it regularly, but fell off when I got sick, and only got back to it this morning. Committing to commenting on the blog so we all feel less alone.
Here’s my VPA for the week: that my sweetie and I are able to create a livable, useful budget that enables us to pay down debt and save and THAT WE ACTUALLY USE. (That last appears to be key.)
How it might happen: We brush ourselves off and try again with the daily Quicken updating and the weekly family meetings. We/I find an online accountability buddy to help us stick to things. We start finding it fun and getting rewards.
My commitment: To keep breathing. To notice and work on any shame or fear or anger that arises. To keep trying again, even when we fall down and hurt our noses.
Have a lovely, happy week, everyone.
.-= Julie´s last post … Welcome to 2010! =-.
Recovery time suggestion: Havi – have you ever been to Breitenbush Hot Springs? When I still lived in that corner of the country it was my lifesaver. It was off the grid before I really needed to get off the grid, before I would say something like “I need to go somewhere with no internet for a little while”. And for you at least it is closer than driving from Seattle was. The winter is a great time to go, too, believe it or not – even for someone who hates the cold like me. You don’t want a long visit, 2-3 days would do it. The food is great and everything is geothermally heated and sitting in the hot springs at midnight in the middle of a snowy meadow is all kinds of awesome – even for a non woo woo new agey person like me.)
My personal ads:
I would like the fortitude to get up 15 minutes earlier than I usually do so I have time for morning pages and Dance of Shiva. (I will take your ad for new Shivanauts as a challenge for me to do something besides keep the DVD sitting in my DVD drive).
I am having shoes thrown at me from far away, unexpected shoe throwing that is making me sad and uncomfortable. I would like the shoe throwing to stop. Or I would like to move through the shoe throwing like walking through a waterfall.
Sending smoove vibes for rest and Shivanauts and all our other asks.
This week:
I would like a smooth transition back to being “on”. I have never liked the first week back after December holidays, and last night the old anxiety was pounding away pretty hard.
How this could happen:
By being gentle with myself, and realizing that not all of the changes I want to make have to happen *right now*
By working with my Goddess Planner for 2010.
By sitting at Donkey with a notebook or two and making lists so that I can break down the “to do” into baby steps that don’t leave me feeling overwhelmed.
My commitment:
To trust that February will be here soon with all its beautiful red and pink decorations and amethyst birthstone, and probably massive snowstorm that lets us do tipsy snow angels, build snowmen, and cuddle up on the sofa with a hot cocoa and watch “Help”.
My second ask:
That I am able to capture all of the ideas that have started buzzing since I listed how it would be possible to blog M-F this year.
How this could happen:
I could start carrying a tiny Moleskine with me.
I could carry a Sharpie or MarkIt and just write the idea on my arm.
I could tell someone who may have a better memory than me.
My commitment:
To relax and realize that I don’t have to put everything I know (or think I know, or even don’t know) about a topic into one post. That that theme will be coming around again next week.
To play and let myself have fun with it.
To be honest in the posts, and to let myself shine as much as I am currently comfortable with.
Oh, and PS Havi, some of them will have to do with Shiva Nata, so it is a small answer to part of *your* ask. Yay helper mice!
.-= Andi´s last post … The Last Completed Artwork of 2009 =-.
Hullo from a newbie Shivanaut!
First time commenting on your blog, which has become my one-stop daily source of soul inspiration, nourishment, wordplay, laughter and silliness. What more could I ask for in one blog?!
I’m waving enthusiastically from across the Atlantic, from my flat in Manchester, England, where I’ve spent the last five days having bundles of fun with the Shivanata Starter Kit that my gorgeous hubby bought me for Christmas. (He’s generally gorgeous, not just because he bought me the Starter Kit for Christmas, although it does add a certain something.)
Being a newbie to the world of interacting-on-the-internets, I might not be making any appearances on any Shivanata blogs anytime soon, so I just wanted to say hi here. Hi!
And a belated happy twenty-ten to you, Havi, and the rest of the Fluent Self community!
Big Big Love
Reba x
An Answer to Havi’s #2
Alert! New ShivaNaut In Progress! I got the set for that gift giving holiday thing, have read the materials, and managed to do a wee bit of actual ‘nauting. And I’ll try to make dropping by the blog(s) a part of the practice. It fits with my own Asking-For-Things-Thing, which is:
Me, ISO Community!
Community. I wants to be part of one. It must be focused online, be supportive, mostly non-confrontational, consistant but not overwhelming, and appropriate for my weirdness. Probably something very Kitchen-Tableish.
How it could happen:
I could magically stumble across one that would welcome me with open arms. Someone I know could decide to start one, and I and many others could show up for it. I could decide to start one, and others could show up for it.
What I can commit to:
Right now, all I can commit to is wanting one, and making space in my mind for one. But that’s a start!
Progress Report On Past Wantings:
I’ve had several new folks offer to be Helper Mice.. one of whom is even localish, which is seriously cool! A friend (we’re mutual helper mice) took on the idea, reshaped it to suit him in a hysterical way (The Minion Cadre!) and ORGANIZED. He set up a section of his blog, a mailing list, and a file drop so people working on projects with him would know what he needs, could take on tasks, and submit files when necessary. I love it, and am working on a Helper Mouse House. Yay!
.-= Tori Deaux´s last post … How To Trash Your PR At The Touch Of A Button: Of Holosync, Bill Harris, and Silencing Critics =-.
This is fabulous. I am just loving all these Very Personal Ads of yours. BEAUTIFUL.
And thank you for reminding me that there *are* a lot of Shivanauts in my extended Shivanaut family, and that even if I don’t see them, they are still there.
Whew. That is a lovely, lovely, reassuring thing.
Wishing everyone mad love for their VPAs: may they bring you surprising wonderful things and everything you need.
Thanks Sarah and Caryn for the hot springs suggestion — sounds perfect. xox
Yay for morning walks with gentleman friend. Lovely.
And I think I brought my Dance of Shiva DVD with me to my mom’s house. I could TOTALLY use some of it today b/c of my spacey head which is happening b/c of my not sleeping well last night…
Which brings me to my Personal Ad:
What I want:
LOVELY SLEEP EVERY NIGHT
– To sleep soundly through the night, stay unconscious throughout the whole evening, and wake up feeling refreshed.
– To feel clear headed in the morning because my body rejuvenated itself while I was sleeping soundly.
Ways it could work:
– I could start taking some supplements at night that help my muscles relax and calm me.
– I could reconfigure my relationship with my laptop and let it know that I’m not going to be spending as much time with it in the evening. Yes, this is important.
My commitment:
– To have at least 1 hour of no computer time before I put my head on the pillow. This hour could be spent reading, listening to music, audio books, journaling, drawing, whatever…but it won’t involve my computer.
– To set a Work Is Over time for myself. I will not work after 8pm.
– Actually, 8pm is now when my computer goes to sleep. So there.
This was very helpful to write out. Now to go make some Green Buzz Soup to see if I can support my brain in having what it needs today…
.-= Mona´s last post … monagrayson: @havi Oh good. I have a Very Personal Ad to write about sleep. Going to look right now. =-.
Havi,
I saw your tweet about this and actually stopped what I was doing to read this post. It’s been a long time (much too long) since I’ve given myself that permission.
I’ve not done VPAs to date. Mostly because I’m scared.
Scared that I’ll use up my one VPA request that I’m allotted on something silly. Yes, that assumption is silly and misguided, but it’s where I’m stuck.
That said, and I have no idea what has moved to allow this, I’m going to give it a go. Right here. Right now.
Christy’s very first (but not last) VPA:
What I want: Freedom.
I’m so terribly trapped here in the 5th Circle, and I have a glorious and do-able plan to get out, but I spend too much time thinking about all of the things that will prevent my Escape that I make myself crazy.
So I want (and need) the freedom to do what I need to do to liberate myself from the 5th Circle.
How this can happen: This one’s hard for me, because I don’t know.
It could be an internal shift within me that finally lets me give myself permission to not work 14-hrs/day for the 5th Circle (which I hate) and instead work the hours I’m paid to work, and spend the rest of my time building my Escape Pod.
It could also mean that the “big ugly showdown” could happen here in the 5th Circle, complete with much-needed management changes. This would be difficult and messy, but it would benefit the lives of many people who aren’t me … and it would benefit me too.
What I can commit to:
Reminding myself that the only way out of the 5th Circle is in my hands. If I don’t build the Escape Pod, it’ll never take off.
Trying to be gentle with myself. I struggle w/ this, but I am trying.
A PS to this VPA is that I have (for months and months) wanted to explore Shivanauthood, but I have not had the time, and I have needed to do other things with my money (like the washing machine caught fire on Saturday. Yes, seriously). I hope that this Freedom will be able to expand to include hot buttered epiphanies. 🙂
.-= christy´s last post … Driving Communication Styles Home =-.
Here’s a new VPA for me:
Thing: A more complete fitness approach.
Here’s what I want:
I lost quite a bit of weight last year watching my calorie intake and treadmilling almost every day. I’m going to stick with watching my calories, but I’d like to alternate my use of the treadmill with something that works different muscles than walking does. (I bike during the summer months, but I need something that will work in my home during the other half of the year.)
Ways this could work:
This could be an exercise DVD/s that I can keep up with but challenge me. Or it could be some new equipment (like an eliptical). Or perhaps I could look into a non-home solution (like a class at the community center), although if it is outside my house I’m less likely to use it. Whatever the solution, I’d prefer to not spend more than $1,000.
My commitment:
I’ll keep looking at different options. I won’t give up when I try a fitness DVD that is too challenging for me off the bat, or includes bad music I hate. If I decide to purchase equipment, I won’t buy it before actually trying it in the store (so I don’t end up with something I won’t use.)
.-= Avonelle Lovhaug´s last post … Ask the Programmer: Why can’t I “own” my code? =-.
@Laine: “To figure out what the universe is trying to tell me about what I’m supposed to be doing (my Thing?). I thought it was one Thing, but now some people seem to think it’s another Thing (a Thing I like better than the first Thing) but my life is kind of built on that first Thing, hence the confusion.”
I so totally get this one! I’m confused about my thing too. But Havi gave me permission to be alright with not knowing my thing, or defining it, or even having one at all and that took all the pressure off!
It’s hard to have a nebulous thing that shifts and changes and then have it start taking on aspects of things others have said to us…especially when we like THAT thing better than our first thing! Oy! More confusion!
I just wanted to give you a hug…cause I’m right there with ya on this one! So…HUG!
Update on my last VPA:
WooHoo! I still don’t have a thing but I’m writing anyways! Which is part of what I asked for. So getting PART of it is awesome and a step. Plus! I’m having fun and laughing more now that I’m not freaking out about defining my thing or, possibly, not even having one! YAY! I love progress on processes!
@Havi, feel better and a gorgeous lamp is just as good as flowers AND gives you more light for when flowers DO arrive! Progress!
.-= Wulfie´s last post … Interweb Crushes – The Point! =-.
My VPA:
Spent more time with my art.
Ways that it will work:
It doesn’t matter what I do – be it comic or sketching or etc – but it’s important that I spent time with it. I could get up earlier or simply plunk down my butt after work. I could try to change around my computer setup, so that I can work more comfortably.
My commitment:
I’m so going to use a timer and work in 25 min chunks, with five minutes of break between. I’ll do at least one chunk per day. And art-time will come before WoW time.
.-= Carina (@chalcara)´s last post … A Tempest in a Tea Pot =-.
My VERY big VPA (the one I didn’t post here last week!) was answered in a very big, heartful, completely miraculous way.
Magic is afoot…
Love, Hiro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Traveling Teeth Follow Rumors of Home… =-.
Love VPA Day! It helps me stay on track with my life.
My VPA:
Trying to get from being able to visualize my ideal life(the final result) to be able to see the steps in between. Constant frustration with finding the right path.
How This Could Happen:
Finding an activity that lets me deal with the now, not the future. Thinking of trying shiva nata, knitting, and getting back into the belly dancing thing.
Things I Can Commit To:
I can do one relaxing and thoughtful thing each day. I can buy a knitting kit. I can talk with my friends and clients about how they deal with these things. I can listen to people wiser than I am.
.-= Holly´s last post … The sink, the bungee cord, and the duct tape. =-.
Hi Havi and everyone
So nice to hear about your personal ads. I might try posting mine on craigslist.
I just moved to a new country, with a cool new job – I should be on cloud 9. But really? I’m not sure I love it. I’m just not *clicking* with this new place! And I KNOW it’s a cool city… Argh! A bit stupified and stuckified about what my dumb problem is.
What I want:
I really want to start noticing wonderful things about the place I just moved to. I want to start LOVING it here.
Ways this could work:
This could work if I get out and explore more. Last weekend I visited a fabulous part of town that I did really like. I will go back there this weekend, and spend some more time.
My commitment:
I will give this place a chance, and stop comparing it to a different city that I love (P-P-Portlaaannnddd! I miss you). I will also give myself a break and let it be a nice slow burn. One little beautiful thing at a time.
Alrighty, thanks for letting me put it out there…
xoxo
What I want:
I would like investors for an independent movie I am making with my friend. Must be quirky and interested in new things. Please indicate your interest in the movie clearly. I’ll do my best to be on the lookout!
Ways this could work:
I bump in to people in public areas. A friend recommends talking to you. Someone seeks me out.
My commitment:
I’m talking to everyone I know about this so that you can hear about it. I’m also meeting new people and soliciting businesses for their support.
What I want
I would like to begin a mindfulness practice again.
Ways this could work:
I fall in love with meditation again. Maybe I become an addict? Shiva Nata would be nice, too.
My commitment:
With my new free time, I promise to set aside time to meditate regularly. I will also do other practices. I promise to journal about them.
What I want:
I would like to commit time to healing the world. Small steps! I want to personally connect with people. I want to help people heal themselves and heal others. Spread the healing! I would like the time/resources to do this a lot.
Ways this could work:
People could find me on my blog or Twitter. Or they could just bump in to me in person!
My commitment:
I’ll be on the lookout for people who want my help. I’ll also keep doing all of those practices that sensitize me to their needs and their path to healing. I’ll accept money but I won’t spend it unwisely.
Wow! That was great. See you later.
.-= Eric Normand´s last post … Something Scary =-.
still getting my head around how to work with the vpas, but i can share a little shiva nata fun. i ordered your dvd before xmas and got the link to the supplements. i started immediately practicing the positions, before i got the dvd. just doing the positions, nothing else. a few hours later, i got hit with strongest insight: life is full of possibility. just typing that makes me weepy. for whatever reason, i forgot this essential truth. life is full of possibility. so where i am right now is not where i will always be. and this is such a wonderful piece of knowledge to have.
i haven’t started my shiva practice yet, b/c i am still sitting with this new opening. i don’t want to blow my circuits!
and…another wild change: suddenly i’m vegan. wtf??
love shiva, love it. what will happen next?
This is my very first Very Personal Ad of my own. Wow, it’s so hard to ask for what I want and need. Who knew?
Thing #1
What I Want: To Shivanaut it up with Havi and Selma. I am such a Shiva-loving Yogini that I have to do this. Don’t know why I waited this long! And a tiny teachers’ training that’s not really a teachers’ training? Yes!
Ways That Can Work: I can hang out on the Shiva Nata blog. (Will definitely do that!) I can get the starter kit. I can plan that into my 2010 spending plan. (Eeek!)
My Commitment: Bookmark the Shivanaut blog so I can hang out. Put it down in my spending plan. Give myself some space not to start everything at once even though it’s all way cool (spending plan and schedule overload!).
Thing #2
What I Want: To Clear a Path for myself and my practice.
Ways That Can Work: Gently create rituals that work for me. Clear out old stuff, like clutter. Finish my 2010 strategic planning and money mapping in a clear, digestible way.
My commmitment: Spend this week focused on clearing my path. Sovereignty.
Thing #3
What I Want: An assistant–really a person I work with who takes care of all that stuff. Stuff I’m not good at. Stuff I don’t have any patience for. Stuff that makes doing my Thing a drag for me.
Ways That Can Work: Hmm, I’ll have to think about that. Marissa, are you there? It’d be awesome to hire you! This goes on my spending plan too. Patience and it will come together.
My Commitment: To not make myself crazy while I’m garnering the spending plan funds to hire Marissa (assuming she’ll have me). To give myself some space.
.-= Rebecca Prien (@cnsl2creativity)´s last post … Creativity and Law: Really Useful, Non-scary Stuff I’m Cooking Up =-.
Hi Havi! Just recently found this and just just got the starter Shiva kit, and just started using it (still learning the basics, level 0 so to speak). Yay for Portland Shivanauts! 🙂
Feels weird doing a VPA…typically I’ve always been one to try and please others, not myself, which I’ve only lately really begun to recognize and work on so asking for things for myself still feels WRONG.
#1: What I want: To be able to transition out of my less-than-wonderful for my sanity job, and into something much happier (hopefully by the end of 2010).
How this could work: – My online store/dream-business could bloom and take off so much that I can afford to quit my “real” job and instead just make wonderful glass and teach people how to ride motorcycles (since that’s fun too). (currently preferred method)
– (Possibly with the help of my new degree I’m almost done with) Find a saner job elsewhere where I feel like I’m actually helping people/doing some good.
– Something else wonderful the universe wants to direct my way
My commitment: To keep my store active, to get a complementary website/blog going to support the online store, and do some soul-searching for where I might actually want to work here in Portland. Oh, and practice the Dance of Shiva to help my brain work. 🙂
#2: What I want: To actually sell my previously beloved bike so I can get the next bike that’s pulling my heart-strings. (currently http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/mcy/1527457547.html)
How this could work – Some wonderful new owner finds my add on Craiglist and decides that Bonnie is perfect for them.
My Commitment: To keep her clean and ready for someone to claim, to keep the paperwork ready to go, and to keep promoting her (and to be patient, as hard as that is)
Happy New Year Havi! I hope you are finding some rest.
This is my first VPA. I’ve been so inspired by all the openness and honesty here I thought I’d try it too. Plus, I keep asking the universe silly questions that keep getting answered, so why not ask for what I really want?
What I want: Mine is very similar to Maya’s.
I’d like my right people to find me/my blog. I’m still figuring it all out and I’ve seen an upward trend in more traffic, but not so many comments (more comments please….) I think my friends are reading, but not anyone else.
Ways this could work: Keep writing and keep asking for feedback from readers. Write what I feel, not what I think people want to hear. Ask more experienced bloggers how this all works. Read and comment on other blogs. Keep up on Twitter and Facebook.
My commitment: Let the process happen without trying to force it.
What I want: To take care of myself before I get sick. Actually, so I don’t get sick.
Ways this could work: self-care. Good food, lots of sleep, yoga, music, writing, laughing, hanging out with friends, NOT WORKING SO MUCH. (Sorry that was a really loud reminder for me, not shouting at you)…
My commitment: daily yoga and music for starters. Leaving work by 3pm and limiting how much I work from home. To really be at school/work when I’m there and to really be off work when I’m not there.
Thank you Havi and the universe!
.-= Tami´s last post … Yoga+Music365 (day4) – My Maudlin Career by Camera Obscura =-.
Could there maybe be a spa/massage/renewal ritual? Something that’s less like “I have to get a massage because otherwise my body and mind fall apart” (which kind of sounds like car maintenance to me) and more like “I am going to go soak in pretty-smelling water and then let someone anoint me with oils.”
Also, something that happens maybe once a week, rather than when everything is coming to pieces?
.-= Sonia Simone´s last post … What Makes Marketing Hard? =-.
I’m behind on reading The Fluent Self, so only just read this, but maybe I can help with one new Shivanaut? I recently wrote my first blog post, and it was all sparked by you Havi & that crazy kooky brain yoga you introduced me to (and convinced me to give a chance)
.-= HollyMarieHill´s last post … My Stuck is a Bear! and other Cold Margarined Epiphanies at 4 in the morning =-.