Personal ads! They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my Sunday ritual. Yay, ritual!
Let’s do it.
Thing 1: Things to start falling into place for my new crazy idea.
Here’s what I want:
I had some seriously huge epiphanies from all the Shiva Nata we were doing at the Destuckification Retreat last week.
Like, huge does not even begin to describe the earth-shatteringness of it all.
And one of my ideas is so completely insane and so completely brilliant that my toes start to wiggle whenever I think about it.
I want progress on this. Movement! Stuff happening! Fireworks! Sparkles!
Here’s how I want this to work:
Okay. So I can’t tell you what this is about yet so I’m just going to ask that you be really, really excited for me.
In the meantime, I need to find the thing I need to find and connect with the person I need to connect with. Soon.
Maybe even as soon as I get back to Portland. And it needs to be affordable, and it needs to happen with smoothness and ease.
Maybe I can write a VPA just for me with more details, or maybe I’ll feel more comfortable spelling it out more fully here over the next couple of weeks.
My commitment.
I will appreciate my brain for zapping me with bits of genius.
And I will appreciate Dance of Shiva for zapping my brain with the ability to make unexpected connections and provide these moments of bing.
And I will do ridiculous Dork Dancing and there will be much flailing around joyfully as this starts to become an actual thing.
Huzzah!
Thing 2: Smooth transitioning.
Here’s what I want:
So another one of the gigantic Shiva Nata epiphanies this week (which I’ll totally tell you about later) was about ways my business needs to change.
And I got all kinds of clarity around how that might work and what my options are.
Now I know what I want, but a bunch of things need to happen in order to get the pirate ship headed in that direction.
Ways this could work:
Hmmm. Not entirely sure.
I could have courage to have possibly scary conversations in supportive non-scary ways.
And the process could be playful and loving and full of appreciation for what has been up until now as well as excitements for what is coming.
My commitment.
To not have to get everything right.
And to be patient with myself when I really, really want to anyway.
Thing 3: trust in a challenging situation (and maintaining sovereignty when the shoes are flying).
Here’s what’s going on:
So I had an excruciatingly difficult conversation the other day. It involved a lot of shoes being thrown my way, and some tough, angry words.
It left me feeling shaken and also kind of bewildered since it came completely out of nowhere.
There was definitely some stuff that worked. I was able to remain calm and centered, and — more importantly — rational and curious in the face of judgment and blame.
I was able to know and trust and remember that this person’s view of the world is not necessarily the only correct one, just as mine is not necessarily the only correct one.
And I was able to allow for misunderstandings. And to see where some people in my life think they have the right to come into my space and have control over my life.
And to remember that hey, guess what, actually they don’t because sovereignty rocks.
So that was a really big deal, because this is new territory. Still completely hard.
Here’s what I want:
To figure out what it feels like to not be shaken.
More of that lovely sovereignty thing. More trust. More safety. More support.
Also, cheers and recognition for having made this much progress and not falling apart completely which is harder than it sounds.
All this forward movement is totally a combination of Hiro wisdom and crazy Shivanautical epiphanies.
Here’s how this could work:
I can schedule a session with my lovely Hiro. I can meditate on it. I can do Shiva Nata on it.
The situation could magically not suck as much as it does right now.
My commitment.
To make my sense of safety top priority. To not allow other people’s shoulds to dictate my life. To be patient and hope that things will resolve themselves.
To recognize that there is pain on all sides. To be open to having some ease around this pain. To stay grounded.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted help with the what happens with the blog when I’m on retreat thing.
And what happened was that I didn’t. And also I didn’t feel bad about it (most of the time), which was awesome. Though I missed you guys and am super happy to be back.
My gentleman friend put up one unpublished post. And also set up the Items! for me. So it worked. Not necessarily the way I’d thought or hoped but in the way that really worked for me.
So thanks for all of your support with that. Appreciated!
I wanted to record the smartnesses I said while teaching, and my destuckifiers were great about reminding me to turn stuff on and turn stuff off.
And things are working there.
My last ask was about the business running smoothly while I was gone. And I have no idea if it did but I do know that my pirate crew have been taking care of things and being lovely enough not to tell me about anything.
Not really looking forward to finding out what’s waiting for me tomorrow (uh oh, should that be its own VPA?) but appreciating that I didn’t have to do Fluent Self work this week while I was teaching in Monterey.
Comments. Since I’m already asking …
I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about what I would like to receive in the comments.
Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
What I would rather not have:
- Reality theories.
- Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
- To be judged or psychoanalyzed.
- Advices.
My commitment.
I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird.
Thanks for doing this with me!
Follow
What I’m looking for:
A social life. People to hang out with. A non-solitary reason to get out of the house, and people who will be glad to see me when I do. Some kind of routine in life where people notice whether I show up or
not.
How this might work:
The church around the corner could turn out to be inclusive of non-Catholics
The library could have some good programs now that the holidays are over
Some of my friends could magically get jobs in New York
I could get a job and magically make friends with my coworkers
My commitment:
To seek out local events
To attend the church regularly
To get my local library card
To accept any invitations I can
To extend invitations once I finally have people to invite
.-= Laura G´s last post … Personal Ad: In which I need a social life. =-.
Here’s my bit of VPAing for the coming week:
-I want to finish and put effort into some work I have been procrastinating.
-I have a job interview coming up and I want to be calm, be myself, ask all questions that I want to have answered and have a good sense for all the vibes in that place.
-I feel the need to change things in our appartment at the moment and have started to de-clutter but need to do a lot more.
Here’s how all this can work:
-I can set up a structure for the coming days with specific slots for work and for de-cluttering.
-I can keep up my currently daily yoga practice for a clear mind.
My committment:
-Stick to the structure that I will set up.
-Work before de-cluttering, otherwise I won’t stop the latter in order to sit down and work.
-The job interview is fairly early, I will do yoga the night before, go to bed early, put on a face mask (no, not during the interview!), pick something to wear that I love in order to make me feel good. Go through potential questions and answers.
– Keep fitting in a daily yoga practice.
I love the VPAs! Here goes:
Here’s what I want:
I really want this *thing* that I’ve been working on to come through. Completely. One hundred percent. And I want to be open to other peoples opinions and thoughts on the matter. I also want to have the confidence to agree and disagree wherever it seems appropriate.
Here’s how this could work:
I will continue to ask for what I want. To be gentle where appropriate, and yet firm where I think is necessary. To be pro-active. I will meditate on letting go of the need for control over other people’s decisions and actions. I will also remember to be patient. This could also just magically unfold in the most beautiful and non-stressy way.
My commitment:
Is to not doom and gloom it. To remember that all possibilities are out there, including the one that I want the most. I will stay open to that possibility and not get cynical before I even know the answer. I will also respect my crown – and visualize it on my head when things get doubtful.
Thanks dudes!
xo
To Havi:
Cheers! Recognition! 🙂
I think you are so awesome, writing about these hard-to-explain concepts with such clarity, including the shoes and the crown of souvereignty.
Seeing how that works is a huge step… I would not have seen it for many years and the metaphors are jump-frog-leaping me ahead in the process.
i am still working on bringing this into practice:
when other people take control over my life… it’s not ok; even if they think they mean well; even if in the end, they just want to get closer to me; even if they don’t know another way to show they love me. it’s still not ok to exert control and manipulation in another person’s queendom.
there is an alternative that is still hard for me to sustain in practice: people are welcome to apply for a Visa of Love and Appreciation for a set amount of time… as long as they respect the boundaries and charter that apply in the queendom .
my wish for the week
– to communicate more clearly with my supervisor on my current paper. to get some help and understanding in clarifying what it’s about, exactly rather than the standard uber-critical academic response.
ways in which it could work:
i could start by giving myself a rave review. i could then try to communicate with enthusiasm. i could ask for help in the nicest way possible.
my commitment:
to continue to give the academic environment the benefit of the doubt. to be open and optimistic and invite people to think along with my ideas.
also, – to be realistic and admit defeat when it’s just not happening
“I need to find the thing I need to find and connect with the person I need to connect with.”
Very first thing that popped to mind:
Notice his sword’s pointed down, so he is not planning to use violence.
.-= Blue´s last post … Reading Group Update =-.
First attempt to insert image into comments=FAIL.
Trying again:
.-= Blue´s last post … Reading Group Update =-.
Last try, and if this doesn’t work, I’ll stop (and Havi, you can delete these if they muck up the comment flow).
I photoshopped Selma onto Link. You know, the one who had to go search for the Triforce, and find the person he needed to find and… nevermind. 😛
.-= Blue´s last post … Reading Group Update =-.
Thing I want:
New duvet cover. You are simple and probably ivory-ish and soft with some subtle detailing. You are not exorbitantly expensive, and I don’t have to schlepp through a bunch of discount home stores to find you. Because I won’t do that. Blech.
My commitment: To wait until I find you without settling for the wrong thing. To keep my eyes open, to browse if it I feel so inclined. Maybe to look online. To acknowledge that you are not just a duvet cover. You are about making small changes to my space *now*. To feel more at home. And knowing that little space shifts can help with bigger life shifts.
.-= Briana´s last post … Friday check-in: The check-check-check-in edition. =-.
PS This might be of interest http://anderkendelse.wordpress.com/
Havi, hooray for Dance of Shiva Epiphanies, and your shiny new brilliant, soon-to-be thing. Wishing you all the support you need to make this happen in perfect timing!
Also wishing you support, trust, healing and so much love for the hard. Celebrating you for handling this situation with grace and sovereignty, for keeping your crown on even when shoes were being thrown, for holding your center with clarity and compassion. *hugs and love to you!*
My VPA this week:
To create a new structure/shape for my business. One that gives my Right People the support they need to transform their lives, while also giving me time and space to grow in new directions, to explore what’s next, and to expand and refine the scope of my work.
My commitment: To show up fully. To stay open to new possibilities, opportunities and visions. To work with Havi around this. To do my best flailing-around attempts at Dance of Shiva, which always helps structures emerge out of the ooze of ideas. 🙂
Wishing you all the miraculous unfolding of your wishes this week.
Love, Hiro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … The Gifts of Retreat, the Comforts of Home =-.
Hey guys! Hey guys! Oh missed you so much this past week.
These are *lovely* asks and wonderful things to want.
Sending good wishes for all the wishes.
@Briana – sometimes GarnetHill.com has sales on their loveliness. I have some beautiful bedding from there.
Bedding. Bedding. That sounds funny.
LOVE all around. Happy Sunday.
Happy Sunday to you too! Happy Decade, for that. See, it’s still the beginning of the decade even after a month has gone by. Pretty soon we’ll be wishing each other Gung Hay Fat Choy.
Wish:to embody my name, keep my commitments, dance, swim, make some more art, imagine & remember what I can do every day. To find my troupe near where I live.
Ways it could work: Surprising, easily, beautifully, gracefully, richly, happily & even laughingly.
My commitment: To Show UP. To effortlessly direct and move my whole self with exquisite perceptual discovery NOW. To wake up at dawn by Tuesday & walk outside.
Hmmm, better get to sleep before noon if I’m gonna do that…because it’s Sunday morning 8am and I’ve been up all night again!
See, it’s working – I’m already being slappy-happy.
.-= Franis´s last post … Pass The Rut =-.
@havi — I love that you were able to be fully present and curious when someone was throwing shoes at you. That is the definition of hard: not defending, but listening. And yay to many many big BINGs, and for letting them hone your path.
What’s happening:
Last week I asked for a salsa partner. And then, I went to this “find a partner event” that was pretty boring. Same guys, same comments about NOT wanting to perform and NOT wanting to compete. And also? Too short for me. I felt frustrated, even though in my VPA I said maybe I could stop trying to find someone and start letting someone find me. You know, let the magic work.
On Tuesday, I wrote what is a huge VPA to the Universe for everything that I need, right now.
http://humanbeingblog.com/2010/01/what-i-need-right-now/
Some things have shifted, after that post, but not in the way I asked for. Still, shifting is good.
And today, thinking about last week’s VPA, I realized that what I really want may not be a salsa partner (although I still do want a salsa partner but I am open to delivery, vs take-away, dear universe).
MY VPA
To have a shared passion with someone. Preferably my husband. Something that brings joy and enthusiasm and fun and laughter and silliness to BOTH of our hearts. Something that we both find time in our lives for, without having to motivate the other person.
How This Could Work
I could stop trying to push activities that he doesn’t want to do on him, and instead let him take the lead. I could open my mind to the idea I might enjoy and even be passionate about something that I didn’t think of first.
And, I can put it out there for the universe to solve, realizing that I don’t have to do EVERYTHING myself.
My Commitment
To ask. To be open to receiving, noticing for those moments when my brain is scrambling to shut the door against new things that are not my idea. To talk to my husband. To make time to be here instead of running around searching for the THING on my own. And to remember that the universe doesn’t always deliver things in the same package I’m imagining because I don’t always know what’s exactly best to me. Let go, let god and all that.
.-= lynn @ human, being´s last post … Light, line, path =-.
Oh, welcome home, Havi!
Update on last week’s ask: I just wanted a nice little artist date, and the power to give myself one was entirely in my hands, and yes, I did nurture myself in this way. I think I needed to choose a very gentle and do-able ask last week, because I knew there were likely to be some challenging asks on the horizon. Case in point…
Today’s ask: I want to finish a new draft of my self-care study (one of my three remaining preliminary exam projects for my PhD program) in time to email it to my adviser on Tuesday morning at 8:00 a.m. At this point, it’s just a matter of writing up the rest of the results and discussion section. I have a good head start on that; I just need to deal with the wall(s?) coming between me and completion.
How this could work: I can try Willie Hewes’ wonderful advice, and work for fifty-five minute stretches without any distractions, taking brief breaks in between. I can ask for love and support and encouragement from my family. I can apply the tools I’ve been learning from The Procrastination Dissolve-o-Matic.
My commitment: I will treat myself with love and kindness. I won’t let myself off the hook, but will seek ways to make that hook as comfortable as possible — add some cushioning, maybe, and some good strong light.
Sending good wishes and fair winds for everyone’s VPAs!
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … In which I am a secret agent of change =-.
First the update on my very first, very personal ad I posted here a couple (or is it already three now!?) weeks ago about needing to find a money person. I did indeed get a couple of recommendations. One here (thanks @havi!!) and one from a co-worker. True to the promise I made to myself, I contacted both of them before the end of January. I still have to meet with them/talk with them and decide. But it is progress and getting over the hurdle of contacting someone and reaching out for help was HUGE!!!! (Yay me!)
Second, a new VPA.
(Mostly because the voice that says if I actually ask for what I want out loud, in public, I am most surely NOT going to get it, needs more evidence that it is wrong.)
That Job
So, all the work I have done lo these many years has led me to a place where (most of the time) the internal voices speaking for me are louder than the ones speaking against me and I can sort of tell that even the ones that are still not really sure about this whole confidence and happiness thing are secretly rooting for things to work out.
And then this opportunity came up. A job. A job that part of me was certain I would be IDEAL for. And a job that part of me felt might be a bit of a stretch and who did I think I was anyway?
I almost let fear talk me out of even trying, but the part of me that wanted it suggested we treat it like an experiment in attempting to get something I want. Is it really out of my grasp? Let’s see.
So far, I have handled the whole thing quite beautifully — which is not to say perfect, because I most certainly have had my “Oh my god, what am I doing?!?!” moments. But mostly I have been proactive, without being overly intense and pushy. Holding it lightly. Being okay with whatever the outcome, but really TRYING. No self sabotage or perfectionism or anything. Just — this is me and I have this to offer and is it a right match for you?
It’s getting close now. And I want it. I am excited, nervous, etc. But not scared.
And here is the best thing. The strongest voice is the one that has decided to go for it. This confident, we shall forge ahead, because of course I am right for this role voice is IN CHARGE. And the fear voice has just taken an amused backseat and I am along for the ride and just waiting to see what the outcome of this little experiment will be. And the thing is, I’m fine with whatever is going to happen, because I know that whatever it is I will do good things with it. Whatever happens will be right.
So, I’m not going to say how this should work out, because I really just trust that the experiment is the thing, not the outcome. But I will commit to participating fully and figuring things out as we go.
Finally — @havi Yay for epiphanies and new things in the hopper!
@Briana: My dream duvet cover popped into my mind when I read your ask. I sent you a DM on Twitter with a link. Garnet Hill and West Elm have similar versions of the same cover. 🙂
@Havi: I am so excited for your new brilliant sparkly thing and all your epiphanies!
Update on last ask: I did one in my head a few VPAs ago, because I felt silly to write it down. I asked for a kitty friend in my apartment complex or neighborhood for the pup – one that wasn’t afraid of him and let him go for walks with it. A few days later, his old kitty friend was allowed outside for a few days so much walks and fun were had. Yay.
Today’s ask:
I would like an idea for my blog structure – and how to better integrate the two. I have some ideas simmering, but it feels like there are still details missing.
My commitment:
I will do Shiva Nata. I will journal and meditate and walk so the ideas have time to percolate. I also promise to act on my ideas (even if it’s slowly) so they know that there is value in presenting themselves.
.-= Elizabeth´s last post … ode to joy, volume 4 =-.
Welcome home, Havi!
My wish for this week:
To sit down and have a good think about sovereignty and how I can weave that into my life. Also, I’d like to work out some kind of ritual for checking in with myself (& my sovereignty) every day. I keep thinking that I want to do this, and yet somehow it’s not happening.
Update on last week’s VPA:
Last week I posted a VPA for help with the CSS on my blog. The lovely Sarah Lacey (http://www.twitter.com/smlacy) contacted me the next day. That was easy!
.-= Michelle´s last post … How to Write a Strong Personal Bio without Feeling like a Fake or a Braggart =-.
Welcome Home Havi. I was particularly struck by your commitment as part of your VPA and your commitment is actually perfect language for my VPA about my upcoming ____________________________
My commitment.
To make my sense of safety top priority. To not allow other people’s shoulds to dictate my life. To be patient and hope that things will resolve themselves.
To recognize that there is pain on all sides. To be open to having some ease around this pain. To stay grounded.
——————————————————-
I love how you put this. . . . it’s my commitment too and it’s also my what I want at the same time.
Ways it could come to me:
-I could remember it
-I could post a reminder in the bathroom and by my laptop
-I could take a deep breath and feel it
-I could exhale and believe it
-Other ways unknown to me now would reveal themselves
Thanks for this. You have amazing language that fits my experiences so well.
xox
Havi, Selma – welcome home sweetie pie!!!
I totally relate to the experience of people throwing shoes and yayyy fantastic to being both within the experience of it whilst also managing to maintain an open and curious perspective. Wow. Yay. More than anything though I relate to just how hard it is not to wobble and lose one’s balance.
WISHING THIS BABY TO FRUITION!
I am open, wanting, receptive to clarity and possibilities around finding regular work or/and generating an income which supports who I am and how I want to live my life. So I am looking out for ideas from all kinds of wonderful sources (here, Victoria Brouhard, Naomi’s website and searching within).
I want an income soon, SOON as in NOW, which envelops the values I need. Warmth, protection, joy, connectedness between myself and others. I want this soooo much. The other choices I have in my life just aren’t working for me anymore, contrary to what the ‘realists’, even the expert ones around me, say. My body seems unwilling or incapable of allowing me to be in conditions which clash so badly with my needs.
I am committed to being open, an explorer, looking within and without. I will keep doing the things that I do to maintain my sense of joy and hope. I plan to be attentive and listen out for the nuggets of wisdom that people are so kind to share here and in other places. Thank you you guys!
I’m committed to dipping back into Havi’s Dissolve Procrastination book to see if I can bend it to help me find solutions that fit this particular set of challenges!
Love and thanks
Leila
Update on last week:
I think something came through. I have no job yet but I have finally been able to be honest with myself about what I want from a job/career thing and am, instead of trying to finish a degree I have no interest in and no reason to finish, focusing on learning as much as I can about running a catering business, widening my experience in catering and making a plan of where I want to be in 5 years re catering (running or being involved in a travelling vegan/vege cafe!!)
VPA this week:
I want to really DO things this week, meditate most days, do some exercise, read about buddhism, do all those self improving/helping things that I know I want to do but can’t seem to value myself enough to do. I want to know that I am worth taking time alone to do things for me. I want to look at the things I make/write and not see them as just things that someone else could do better but things that I have done, which no one else could do.
How this could work:
Stop being online so much! Get my boyfriend to password the computer so that I have to account to him for the time I spend online, and also, only let him put the password in if I can recount 3 things I have done for myself, or towards my ambitions before I am allowed to go on. Look at the things I make/write and point out all the things I like about them. Make tick charts for everyday activities like meditation/exercise and when I have a full week of ticks, give myself a present.
My Commitment:
Not to let ‘life’ get in the way of doing these things. To make tick charts for meditation and exercise tonight so I can start the week as I mean to go on. To ask my boyfriend to password the computer and tell him how I want to be accountable to him. To display the things I make/write instead of hiding them away as if I am ashamed of my creativity. To share my art/writing with friends via facebook/post/face to face.
Thank you for providing a kind of forum for this Havi – it’s so good to read other people’s VPA’s and find inspiration in them!
Love Ruth
Well. These VPAs may just be the best thing ever! Last week’s worked so well–I did have to work on the preso but insights that tied it together and reframed a lot of the previous work I’d done just popped into my head. I forgot to say “I’ll get out of bed to write down the ideas when they wake me,” but I did, and the presos went off SWIMMINGLY. I looked like a total hero, and I thank you all!
Now…
What I want: For my Groundhog Day Goals to coalesce and present themselves to me in a coherent, logical, actionable fashion.
Ways it could work: I have the world’s greatest dream tonight. And or/they come to me on a walk, doing Nei Kung, while taking care of car errands, etc. E-A-S-E. I have committed to opening myself up to elegance, or the Way of the Less Effortful.
My commitment: To get plenty of good sleep. To keeping a pen/paper by my bed and other recording device on my person at all times. To doing Nei Kung as early on in the day as I can stand.
.-= Colleen Wainwright´s last post … Referral Friday: Virgin America =-.
I have one very specific thing I’m looking for:
I have a Pilates Performer bed. Looks like this: http://www.sportsauthority.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3005100&CAWELAID=143527655
Anyway, 1) the foot bar has a cushion on it that’s tearing. and 2) the dog chewed up one of the shoulder rest pads.
I want to get a non-chewed up shoulder pad and replace the cushioning on the footbar without resorting to duct tape.
My local custom foam shop was way beyond unhelpful (which resulted in my last blog post). The people that make these beds don’t seem to make replacement parts, or at least they don’t respond to emails and don’t have a phone number to enquire.
Ways this could happen: someone could know where I could go to acquire these spare parts and tell me
Someone could have these parts and not want or need them anymore.
They could magically appear one day. *sigh* That would be so great.
I promise I will use this Pilates bed (I have been using it for years) regularly and enjoy not having to worry about my foot slipping off the bar or being uneven with one chewed up shoulder pad.
Can I get a hip hip for a strong core?
.-= Christina´s last post … I have a blog and I’m not afraid to use it =-.
Here’s what I want:
An ability to disconnect from that which has been the central theme of my 39 years: my weight. I want to be able to come to a place of peace about it no matter the number
Ways it could happen: I am not clear yet it needs to be clear and focused. I would hope that it comes from inside.
My commitment: I promise to accept clear guidance from sources even if it seems unreasonable
.-= Jonathan David Goins´s last post … quelsen: Anyone have experience with manual lymphatic drainage? I would love to hear about it. =-.
Hi!
I am a dragon goddess with Very Sensitive Scales.
I am looking for delicious, sweet-smelling lotions with which to wash my body and hair.
If you are my right products, you will probably:
-be free of parabens
-smell of something soothing, like camomile or lavender
-cost less than £10 or $15 for a half-litre bottle
-be totally hypo-allergenic and maybe organic
-be smooth and creamy and feel great on my skin
Ways this could happen:
-someone could recommend a product or range that might be good for me
-I could stumble across the perfect thing in a shop or somewhere
-some other magic thing
I commit to:
-continuing to work on having a conscious relationship with my body
-trying any new stuff that sounds good, as and when I can
.-= Lucy Viret (aka randomling)´s last post … Abnormality. =-.
havi havi!
hurray for epiphanies! i’m so glad you got some too!! and wiggly toes for your exciting new thing.
my vpa:
as i enter my february recess (**metaphors!!!!**), i want to strike a balance between fun, active, social, planned stuff and quiet, hermit, not-leaving-the-house time.
how this could happen:
~i could intentionally plan days “off”
~it could rain which would prompt me to snuggle inside
~i could schedule my active times on certain days leaving the other days free
~i could have insight about which option is best, or give myself permission to try different things
my commitment:
~to not freak out if i have a few busy days in a row
~to say No when i need to (now that i have some practice=)
~to enjoy the time i am out with friends
thanks and lots of love and easy transition home…
.-= Michelle´s last post … Fake it till you make it =-.
When I read: “…I need to find the thing I need to find and connect with the person I need to connect with,” I couldn’t help but think, “Ok, I’ll meet you at the place near the thing where we went that time.”
Too old a reference?
I was going to skip writing a VPA, but I’m kinda inspired by everyone else’s and reminded that verbalizing what I want specifically draws my attention to what I’m looking for in a productive way. So…
What I want: Clarity. Specifically regarding my blog & photo site. Switch blog to wordpress site? Change its name to smooth integration of photo site or stick with small level of brand recognition that exists? Change photo site’s name? And to what in both cases, if something else? Also to settle on a new site layout for the blog that I can hopefully mirror on the zazzle site.
Ways it could happen: Uh, heck if I now. 🙂 Ok, um…I could find a layout I like online, something similar to what I’ve sketched out. I could stop worrying about my URL becoming 1 letter longer. I could make a test wordpress acct to see if I like it.
Commitment: I’ll stay open to suggestions, inspiration. Rest up. Ease back into some exercise. Have faith I’ll figure it out but realize I don’t have to figure it all out at once. I’ll endeavor to remember that I can always change my mind later if need be, so there’s no reason to get stressed out about it.
Cheers, everybody! Ooh, “Laid” just started playing which prompted chair dancing, & that’s always a good barometer of well-being. And now, “shape it up/get straight/go forward/move ahead/try to detect it/it’s not too late” 🙂
.-= claire´s last post … Whoa =-.
Update from my requests a while back – I finally successfully sold my old motorcycle and bought a new one yesterday! She (my new bike – a lovely silver Wee-strom) is absolutely wonderful and I’ve fallen even more in love with her than when I first figured out she was the one. Mochi’s her name (yes motorcycles will sometimes tell their names to their partners). 🙂 So first goal of 2010 completed.
(wasn’t in a VPA) but I also have a new boyfriend and things are going well for that. 🙂 Yay for new relationships
This week I want to stay in bed. For one whole day.
(Minus the dog walks) Write, read, and be left alone. No email, either. No phone.
How this could happen: Don’t schedule any consultations or busy work for Wednesday. Make a bunch of food on Tues. so there will be leftovers. Put an ‘out of the office’ message on the email. Let people know I’ll be unavailable on Wed.
My commitment:
To be kind, but firm. With myself and the other people in my life. Special attention to self care of body as well as mind w/ good food/ exercise, etc.
.-= Kate T.W.´s last post … Happy Wolf Moonday! =-.
VPA WITH A SENSE OF URGENCY! I’m a little cloudy but maybe you’re clearer. Help me keep the bailiffs away today!
My VPA’s become a bit more pressing than the one written earlier.
Opened scary letter today about my flat. Scary.
I’m not IT savvy bt need someone to be super kind and wonderful and look at a draft ad I have written so far on Facebook. I need to create an ad which both speaks to a potential employer but also helps me identify one which matches my values and personality. So I want my ad to be as quirky, positive upbeat as the company that may one day employ me. I’m new to this ‘game’, the marketing smarketing one, and I don’t have an expanse of time to learn from my mistakes. Bills, bills, SCARY LETTER.
I need to find ways to by pass usual procedures and get a good link sent into a useful inbox. Being distinctive and authentic is where it’s at.
So is there ayone in London who could help me make an audio link to go with the ad. Anyone able to look at my ad and advice? Ideas that are simple to execute and i’ll get now.
I’m learning fast about so much stuff. But a helping hand right now could really lift me out of the financial lurgees and stuck, stuck, stuck.
This is me asking . I used twitter for the first time last night so still a bit baffled about how to use the twitter thing. Do come and say hi to me and point me in the right direction if you have time or can assist with the job ad thing.
So yes if anyone can assist? Please twitter or email me via leilalloyd@yahoo.com
Other ways this could happen.
I’m open to receiving any clear ideas that can help me move ahead – bearing in mind where I’m at today, my boundaries and limitations. I’m open to finding wisdom anywhere and everywhere, so long as people don’t increase my anxiety around this area!
Apologies for my second VPA.
Hug and thanks for all and their VPA’s,
Leila xx
Re sovereignty and not being shaken, here’s my update on that, since it was my Rosh Hashanah resolution:
In the past few weeks I’ve had some things happen that didn’t shake me at all, and afterwards I thought they *should have*, which was sort of an odd feeling. One was a near-miss car accident in which I had to drive off the road to keep from hitting the guy in front of me, and the other was a Very Uncomfortable Conversation that I had to have with a new co-worker who was acting in a way that bordered unprofessional.
Especially with the not-accident, as I drove off the median and back onto the road, there was this weird little detached part of me that was saying “Look, no adrenaline! Shouldn’t there be some? Why aren’t you shaking? Why isn’t your heart pounding? What’s *wrong with you*?”
Nothing’s wrong, of course, but I guess I need to have a conversation with that piece of me which *wants* there to be something wrong, which worries when there *isn’t* something wrong, and which tries to make up something wrong to worry about…
Yes! Definitely recognition and cheers for you, for having made progress on sovereignty! 🙂 And for me too! Hooray for us!
In a couple of days I’m taking my first trip via train in more than a decade, and so my VPA is to be calm and relaxed about getting to the train on time. In the past I’ve been quite nervous when I have to be somewhere at a specific time and I’m not entirely sure how to get where I need to be.
Ways this could happen:
I can give myself lots of time to get to the train station. I can look up maps/floor plans of the station and perhaps find out in advance what track my train will be on, if that information is available. I can tell myself that train stations are much like airports, in that they are deliberately designed to be easy to navigate, even for people who’ve never been there before.
.-= Pirate´s last post … In Which the Pirate Casts On, Again. =-.
My Very Personal Ad: I need to make additional money this month.
Ways this could happen:
*find freelance writing and editing gigs
*finally put out my shingle as a spiritual director/coach
*tutor in writing and English
How to find peoples:
*Broadcasting what I need (like this VPA and on Twitter)
*Hanging up ads for spiritual directing in our building
*Re-writing my horrible about page so people know I offer spiritual direction and coaching.
*Pray
*Sign up with creative temp agencies
*Pray some more
What I am willing to do:
*Ask for help (oh so hard!)
*Let people know what my skills are and what I want to do to help them
*Pray a lot
*Shiva Nata and see what minipiphs or epiphanies come
*Remember to relax and breath
*Re-write the crummy about me page on the site.
.-= Shawna R. B. Atteberry´s last post … RevGals Friday Five: Social Media =-.
Lots of cheers for grace in the face of thrown shoes!
What’s going on for me: I have finally (finally!) found the space to have a vision of how to do my thing that makes me excited rather than terrified. *happydance!*
What I want:
The space and willingness to nourish that vision in both practical and working-on-stuff ways
How this could happen:
*I could work with Charlie Gilkey’s genius blog planners
*I could check out some of the awesome ideas-and-execution material I have been stashing away while feeling too freaked out to read it
*I could spread out a lot of index cards with ideas
*I could start drafting material
*I could make art
*I could find a soft, ease-filled way to connect with a launch date
*I could find deeper ways to connect with structures that will support me in doing the thing, like yoga and my spiritual practice and maybe a writing practice
*The logistics around the photo I need could happen
My commitment:
*To work on logistics for the photo thing
*To identify a way to nurture words and ideas
*To trust myself and my vision
*To be open to things happening by magic
This new crazy idea of yours? I am really, really excited about it, even though I have no clue what it is. If your toes wiggle when you think about it, I know it’ll be awesome!
Here is a very enthusiastic spritz of the “Progress! Movement! Stuff happening! Fireworks! Sparkles!” spray all over you and your new fabulous idea! 🙂
.-= Josiane´s last post … Taking action instead of resolving to do so =-.
update on last ad:
I made the effort to get to know the new artist extraordinaire intern and she is very nice. That diffused a lot of the negative feelings.
ad for now:
I want to get well. I just found out I have walking pneumonia as a result of my flu last week. booooooo.
I will start taking antibiotics tonight and I’m told they will muck up my stomach.
ways this can work:
I will take my medicine properly, go straight to bed when I am home from work.
my commitment:
to do what I can to be good to myself. eating and drinking included.
.-= carrie´s last post … ugh =-.
Havi’s Home! Havi’s Home! Awwwwwww yissssssss.
Update on last weeks VPA re: Job Hell: I managed to do all the things I said I would and lots of people are rallying to my defense, both to me via phone and email and to my boss!
The noisemaker on Committee of Doom (it’s really one guy–literally! Okay it’s two) may have second thoughts about requesting my head on a platter thanks to peer pressure.
As a side benefit, the problem might solve itself by one of the noisemakers stepping in to fix it, without anyone falling into a pit of burning lava! Amazing.
I almost quit but was talked out of it and I am very proud of me for being a Dignified Adult and not a Screaming Tantrum-Throwing Baby about it all.
This week’s VPA: A very very very personal personal request. I want to be centered and honest and honor my pain in a specific situation that I am not at liberty to discuss at this time!
I need a psychic version of a big protective bodyguard who wears a t-shirt saying “DON’T FUCK WITH MY CLIENT OR I WILL BREAK YOU.” Even if the YOU is ME.
I also want to be able to regain some lost ground in this same situation and find the good in it again. Toe wiggling needs to return! Sorry to be all Secret Squirrel on everyone’s asses, but that’s how it is this week.
O yes. I also want to sell LOTS of bonbons for Valentines. Check it: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/Fredonia-NY/TimePieces-Gift-Shop/96119925212?ref=ts
I’ll twitpic some photos too. Peace, love, hippy beads and bonbons to you and yours this week!
Update on last VPA:
Self-care and kindness during a rough time. Hmmm, if you call keeping yourself really busy so you don’t have to think about it then aces!
I did the “I don’t want to talk about it” hand gesture and it felt great. If even kept people from continuing down their dumb comment line of “conversation”. I simply told people that what I was going to tell them about the situation I had blogged about and to refer back to it.
I also have done yoga every day. So good. I’ve also managed to get in some walking miles.
I even took 2 days off from blogging and just played with friends. So I guess I did take care of myself.
I can’t think of anything I really want right now other than to not make a fool of myself when teaching my first yoga class EVER – in less than 2 hours.(!!!!!)
Oh, I probably would like my inner critics/monsters to take a deep breath and remember we’re well prepared and supported.
Big hugs to everyone and wishes for all VPAs to be magically taken care of!
.-= Tami´s last post … Yoga+Music365 (day32) – Blame It On Gravity by Old97s- The Blindfolded Yoga Edition! =-.
Dang it, I keep forgetting to post “how it could happen” and “my commitment”… how conveeeeeeenient! Gimme, gimme gimme, Universe!
Okay. Thing One: It could just happen. There. Plus Damn It.
I will commit to being my own bouncer, and to allowing myself to feel shit the scared part of me doesn’t want to feel. If I get too uncomfortable I will Run Away! Run Away! and that is okay.
Thing Two: It could happen with lots of Etsy traffic, lots of Facebook & Twitter response. The lady could post my .jpgs at Timepiecesgifts.com and people could buy them there.
My commitment: I will take the bonbons back to Timepieces today. I will make more labels and signage today. I will post more bonbons on my Etsy shop and do the things for the Showcase I reserved on Feb. 8.
Howzat?
.-= chicsinger simone´s last post … butterfly bonbon =-.