Personal ads! They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my Sunday ritual. Yay, ritual!
Let’s do this thing.
Thing 1: Rewriting an ask
Here’s what I want:
I asked for movement, fireworks and sparkles on my Big Crazy Idea that came from a Shivanautical epiphany.
And yeah, some progresses have been made. But not what I’d hoped for. Tiny, halting steps.
So I’m going to reformulate the ask.
And make it more about getting out of the way.
Or about recognizing which monsters are saying what so I can listen to them and give them reassurances.
So what I’d like is information about what needs to happen — internally and externally — for me to be able to move forward with this
Ways this could work:
I could do a ton of Dance of Shiva on it.
Or even a little.
I can do some Dork Dancing to let off steam.
And talk to Helpful People. And do some journaling. And call a Pirate Council.
My commitment.
To practice patience.
To be curious.
To interact with my fear monsters and give them space to have their little temper tantrums without thinking that this says anything about me.
Thing 2: FURNITURE. Well, related stuff.
Here’s what I want:
My beloved Hoppy House needs some furniture.
And I have huge issues with giving myself permission to spend money on anything other than the business.
Because my pattern has been investing every penny made right back into The Fluent Self.
Also, all my stuff comes up about “extravagance” again.
So I guess I’m asking for one of two things.
Either:
a. the ability to reframe this whole thing, and to recognize that investing in comfort and stability and support actually IS investing in my business, because my peace of mind is what runs the business.
or
b. the ability to get over this already and just be someone who wants to have a dining room table and can think this is a legitimate thing to want.
Ways this could work:
Not sure.
I don’t want advice. But comfort would be nice.
The ability to give this time would be nice.
Open to some moments of bing.
My commitment.
Making some of the complicated related themes part of what I work on with Dance of Shiva, yoga, writing and whatever wacky rituals I do this week.
Remembering that, given my background and history, this is probably a completely normal thing to be going through and it’s going to be okay.
Thing 3: a solution to a problem that doesn’t seem to have a solution.
Here’s what I want:
Well, either a solution to the problem or for me to stop caring about it.
Ways this could work:
Honestly?
I have absolutely no idea. None.
But I’m open to possibility.
My commitment.
To keep reminding myself that things can change, and have done so in the past.
And that I have useful resources to ground me and keep me strong even when there are things going on that I can’t fix or help.
To sleep on it.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
Well, as you know from my first ask today, my Crazy Big Idea is developing more slowly than I’d hoped. Though I’m learning interesting things about why that is.
I also asked for smooth transitioning with some big changes in my business.
The smoothness. It is epic.
Seriously. The smooth transitioning has been about a million times smoother than I’d ever thought possible.
Everything has just fallen into place pretty much effortlessly, and I’m still shaking my head over that one.
And I asked for trust in a challenging situation, and … hard to say. It’s gone better than hoped for in many ways. And I’m still dealing with the repercussions in other ways.
The trust part, though. Very helpful. Working on it. Definitely better at the trusting myself part. It’s the trusting the other people involved that isn’t happening yet.
All in all, useful asks last week. And I will be playing with them some more in the week to come.
And just a reminder:
This practice is about clarity and learning more about my relationship with myself. I know some people see this as a wacky thing or a “law of whatever” thing. You can do what you want with it.
For me, though, it’s about my own process of getting to know how my stucknesses work, so I can try doing things differently.
Comments. Since I’m already asking …
I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about what I would like to receive in the comments.
Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
What I would rather not have:
- Reality theories.
- Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
- To be judged or psychoanalyzed.
- Advices. I do not like them.
My commitment.
I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird.
Thanks for doing this with me!
I am eagerly awaiting more details on your big new thing. It sounds exciting!
Ohmigosh, My Thing needs a VPA this week.
The Thing!
I’m so close to being able to actually announce The Thing.
But here’s what The Thing needs
The Thing needs its Right People to find it.
The Thing needs me to speak on its behalf for it with passion and clarity. This will allow its right people to find it, believe in it, and make it real.
To speak on well on The Thing’s behalf, I may need to have a conversation or five with the “Who do you think you are?” monster. I can commit to that. Because I already have a couple of pretty powerful companions on board (pirate compadres! Yar!) that are the proof the monster needs to at least take a wait and see approach.
Ways this could come to me:
I could find the flow through meditation, Dance of Shiva, or the flow could find me.
I could remember to take micro-steps so as not to wake the sleeping monster.
I can also commit to remembering that The Thing now has its own energy and people not wanting to be involved doesn’t say anything about me.
Intuition. I could feel nudged to talk to certain people about The Thing.
Yay for The Thing!
.-= Violet´s last post … Sending it back no more =-.
Well. VPAs. I took a chance on you. And I wasn’t sure. Let me tell you that this process has surprised me. Really surprised me. And Why? Because it seems to be working. And ten or twenty years ago I may have said that I think it’s because the Power of Intention chucked out in the Universe is mysterious and blah blah blah. But now? I’m just curious. And I think perhaps the VPAs just centre me, and get me focused on exactly what I want. So lets get going.
This *thing* I’ve been writing about. And VPAing about. It’s working. And things are miraculously unfolding in a very easy and non-stressy way. It really is lovely.
What I want:
I’d really like this *thing* to get all tied up this week. I’d really like it to not just be about me, but about my family getting all that they’d hoped for as well. I’d also like for the future to be considered seriously by all parties, and for all parties to understand that now is great and all, but the future is important too. And for all parties to create something that respects the future as well. Sorry. Cryptic and weird. I’ll just assume that no-one’s really going to read this. The now and the future. Both important.
Ways this could work:
I will continue to put it out there. This is what I want. This is what is important to me. And then wait for a response. Patience is important. Also, miracles could continue to happen, and all could just unfold in the way that I hope.
My commitment:
I will continue to respect myself and the things that I want. I will contine to ASK for exactly what I want. And I will wait for an answer.
I will take quiet time with myself to pinpoint what I need and what I want. To centre myself and make the most of what is before me.
I’ll also write someone who has thrown a shoe. And let them know that it’s ok. But also be clear on boundaries and what it is that I would like from them. They have apologized, and I would like to hand them some kindness.
Thanks Havi. I’ve been finding this surprisingly helpful. Is it the clarity? I’m not sure. Whatever it is, so far, it’s working. And thankyou. xo
Havi, holding the wish that your Brilliant New Thing happens in perfect timing for you. And that the Pirate Queen dining table sails into your Hoppy House loaded with nourishment for your beautiful life.
My report on last week’s VPA:
Thanks to a brilliant Havi session on Friday, I now have an evolving shape for my business, one that feels organic enough to grow with me, and stable enough to support my work.
This week’s VPA:
To find the right support crew for my business.
My commitment:
To value and appreciate them and the work they do. To support them and their business. To communicate clearly and lovingly. To make room for creative synergy.
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Sunday Poem: Kali, Queen of the Night Sky… =-.
Awww… i know the feeling of “extravagance” when getting things for yourself. (HUGS)
For myself… my VPA this week involves finding a way to stop worrying constantly and start believing in my ability to get things done.
How this could work:
-I could converse with myself and find out why I feel like I am responsible for everything
-I could recognize what is my responsibility and what isn’t
-I could be proactive and start looking for other solutions (ie, finding another job, looking into whether I can go back to school and support myself and my kids)
– I could let things fall out as they may and deal with REALITY instead of trying to deal with things before they happen
-I could seek out the supports that I do have and cultivate relationships that are supportive instead of distructive
My commitment:
-to stop reacting and panicking and look at what my options really ARE
-to accept support from those WILLING to support me
-to take 5-10 mins morning and night to centre on who I am
And to know that by this time next week the situation will be much clearer
.-= Pam (@moonslark)´s last post … Another day, another chicken =-.
Thing I really want: Clarity.
Clarity with something specific I need to write.
And clarity about something much bigger having to do with tying together some threads of my thing. Actually, both are about that tying together, but the second is really overarching. And I would settle for clarity about the next teeny step or two.
Ways this could work:
Lots of Dance of Shiva.
And journaling.
And talking to really smart people.
And saying yes to any Clarity Party invitations. (And if I receive any, Havi, you can totally come, too. Wheeeeee, a clarity party!!!)
My commitment:
To allow space for the passage of time work its magical wonders.
To not need to see the whole picture before I take any of the teeny steps.
Update on last time: Big thanks to Havi & Elizabeth last week! I found my beautiful cloud of white duvet cover. Finding it was easy and immediate, yay! …working through the stuck of guilt and indulgence to actually ordering it was another matter entirely. But it’s on its way to me now.
Fairy dust to everyone’s VPAs.
.-= Briana´s last post … My life as a (reluctant) snob. =-.
So I get what you’re saying in your reminder re: clarity. (Heck, clarity was a big part of my ask from last week. Results… mixed.)
But when you say, “I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird,” I think of asking for things from other people. That’s what is usually triggery for me, but perhaps not for you. Were you thinking of internal asks when you wrote that?
This week:
At this particular moment, I could really use some vocabulary help. Is there a specific name for a large stone planter decorated with a haut-relief sculpture of a face with curly hair and vines & flowers protruding from its mouth? No wings, so cherub doesn’t seem right. More Bacchus like perhaps.
In the way that a caryatid is a pillar decorated with a sculptural form of a woman, I’m wondering if there’s a similarly descriptive term for this planter. I’ll even take a better word for planter if you’ve got one.
Any suggestions/leads will be appreciated.
.-= claire´s last post … The return of the owl =-.
I’m Shiva-ing, I’m dissolving procrastination. And I finally know what My Thing is – Yay! But it’s big, there are lots of pieces I need to learn and gather – and I seem to be just getting lost in the jungle. I need some support and guidance…and maybe a few “Yay You!’s” along the way (pom-pom’s optional).
Here’s what I want:
1) I want to launch my thing within 6 months
2) I want a strategic support person who will look at my plans and say OK, this is what you need to do to pull that off.
3) I want to find mentors that will help me develop the 3 major areas of My Thing.
What I don’t want:
1) Someone who throws shoes and tells me it can’t be done. That’s completely un-fun.
How this could work:
1) Continue to Shiva 10 minutes every morning and ask for guidance in these areas
2) I could reach out to some people I’d like to work with
3) I will remain trusting and open to synchronicities
4) Keep moving, even if it’s baby steps
Yay, VPA’s!
Things I want: A business structure that gives me a comfortable lifestyle and doesn’t kill me.
Ways This Could Happen:
-I can commit to working with my wonderful business coaches who love me and want to help me be better.
-I can commit to only taking clients who are right people clients, instead of falling into the money panic trap.
-I can actively work on making myself known and empowering my business through guest blogs, etc.
-I can actively search out tools to make my business easier and better and give myself permission to spend money on them.
.-= Holly´s last post … How To Get An MBA Through Trial and Error. =-.
I posted last month about needing a new tenant. I put an ad on Craig’s list and got zero response. This triggered more introspection. I realized that in 3 years after I’ve finished my doctorate that I don’t want to be a landlord anymore. This means that I will want to sell the building and property. This is a big mind shift for me.
I’m asking for the courage to take the next steps to put the wheels in motion to:
1) Find out the steps and suggested timing for putting the property on the market.
2) Advertise for a tenant for the portion of the building that I currently use (it is a much larger space and I don’t need that much space since I don’t have employees anymore). I will relocate in the smaller space once a tenant is found.
3) Put the word out to some professionals that I know both for a tenant and a buyer.
4) Determine what other expenses I can trim to lessen the monthly cash drain.
Furniture intimidates me, as in buying it, or thinking about buying it. I send support for your perfect table finding you. 🙂
I am not sure I wrote this one out, but I wanted a new funky piece of jewelry. I was willing to make it. I was even willing to go to the bead store if I had to. I let myself go play upstairs, and found exactly what I needed already in the studio and now have the new piece of (red, blown glass, ceramic, and bead embellished) jewelry.
I also have been asking for wisdom on the direction to go with my work, or for subject matter, or something like that. (Yay for clarity huh 😉 I found an online gallery which sells work I can see my funky whimsical stuff fitting in with, http://www.earthangelstoys.com, and even if they say no thank you, I have a genre/keyword/gestalt to fit my new marketing efforts into. (sorry I used the “m” word, maybe “promotional” or ? instead? ). I always have had trouble with coming up with the “Grand Concept” in the art, but the fun and funky just flows like water, I am so happy and relieved to see I can quit trying to fit into that round hole 🙂
So my ask for the week is:
Courage
Courage to keep making the work.
Courage to contact the people who can help me get the work to its right people.
I promise love and maybe even a lollipop or two.
Oh, and I would still like the perfect piece of salted caramel for Valentine’s Day 🙂
.-= Andi´s last post … For Aisha =-.
My new-favorite Sunday stop! Not coincidentally b/c I have issues with the “ask.”
HOWEVER. Last week’s worked quite well: found much perfect help and clarity about goal-ish things, although I stressed out AS PER USUALLY b/c it did not all come together until yesterday, and late-ish, and I was so exhausted and freaked after that I had to eat massive amounts of carbs to bring myself down. Still! One thing at a time, right?
So, this week:
What I want: To gracefully pull together all of my financial stuff for TAXES 2009: This time it’s personal!
Ways it could work: Accounting elves could show up while I sleep. Or I could find some way to make it a game I like to play. Or I could Nei Kung early and again before sitting down to cipherin’. I could promise myself some amazing treat as carrot (since I am not so good with sticks.) Or…?
My commitment: Lots of rest. At least sitting down to it in the afternoon M/T/W. Doing something each day so I’m not up until all hours on Wednesday. Or, if I am, being okay with that. Oh—and practicing some hoodoo voodoo. Yeah, that!
.-= Colleen Wainwright´s last post … Referral Friday: Hotel Vertigo =-.
VPA:
Things I want- Thing 1 to be complete. To know when Thing 1 is complete and stop working on it. To send it out into the world in its completeness.
Ways this could work- I could get over the horribleness that happened the when I showed Thing 1 to an should-have-been-supportive-but-wasn’t person.
– I could find a really-is-supportive person to discuss Thing 1
– I could let go of the need for Thing 1 to be perfect
My commitment- I will continue to work on Thing 1 trusting the process
– I will accept whatever support and help that comes my way
– To actively work on letting go of the should-have-been-supportive incident
Yay Thing 1 and fairy dust!!
@claire — Sounds a bit like a Green Man.
Last week’s ask, for me, was getting a draft of one of my academic projects ready to send my adviser in time for last Tuesday’s deadline, and it happened, so yay! Unfortuantely, it still needs revisions, but I’m trying to be okay with that.
This week…hmm…oh, okay, yes, I’ll go with something obvious. I’d like someone with the right tools to help us clear over two feet of snow from our driveway, so that we can get our cars out if we want to!
Ways this could work: The folks who helped us last time, who thus far are too busy to do it again, could become more available tomorrow or the next day. Or, we could do some research, and find someone else. Or, some local entrepreneurial type could see the state of our driveway and offer his or her services. Or the stuff could just melt, but given that the school district has already declared school to be closed for the next two days, I’m guessing that isn’t likely.
My commitment: To be as calm as I can be, to be open to possibilities, and to take things one day at a time.
Wishing favorable winds for everyone’s asks!
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … In which I am a secret agent of change =-.
Ah – big exciting things. Affirming insight, solutions and a dining table for you!
My VPA
1. Smooth and easy techo-processing for my video idea. And for the results of the idea to be wickedly brilliant and useful for other people.
How it could happen: it could just work! Or I could find a clear, easy-to-use resource/instructional.
My commitment: to stay calm and breathe through any confusion.
2. To strike more of a balance this week with active/sloth-like. Last week was pretty slothy… ready to venture out.
How: Plans with friends, walks, sitting outside, taking pictures, getting video work done.
Commitment: keep some slothy afternoons.
3. Ease within family around stepdaughter who is in a rough patch.
How: insights, comfort, trust, communication, openness. Maybe she comes forward, maybe we seek out support.
Commitment: to not get in the way of her dad, to let her know my love/support, to stay in my own body/experience.
Thanks! xoxox
.-= Michelle Marlahan´s last post … Self Care Saturday =-.
Ooh, I just did one of these!
Most notably, I want a Board of Directors. Or a team of awesome people, like the Fantastic Four. With our powers combined we can do anything!
More info is here…
.-= Blue´s last post … Momentum: I Need A Way To Get To This =-.
Ya know, Havi, your thing with furniture? I used to have a similar thing with buying nice clothes. Always with the clearance racks & discount stores & crappy, ill-fitting quality. And then, I dropped a bunch of misery called my ex and along with it 35 pounds, and in a fit of, I don’t know, divorce-induced insanity, I went to Ann Taylor, and I bought two whole outfits at full price. FULL PRICE. Like $130 for the pants. Which was more than I usually spent on outfits, plural. Wouldn’t you know that those pants and the jacket and especially the silk blouse and the burgundy leather pumps with tassels have given me so much pleasure that I still have them 6 years later, and I have taken better care of them than my other clothes & shoes, and when I wear that oufit I feel so powerful. I still have a problem with paying full retail, but every now and then I buy myself a really good piece, just for the pleasure of it. Because pleasure? It’s allowed.
UPDATE on last week’s VPN
In which I asked for a shared passion with my husband. On Thursday, I decided to work from home, and turns out Steve was home that day too–a rarity. And we wound up hanging out together. And it hit me … we HAVE a thing, and it’s called “just being together.” So what if our thing doesn’t require fancy equipment or reservations or even putting on our clothes a leaving the house. WE are our passion.
WHAT I WANT TODAY
To stop believing the monster who tells me not to get my hopes up, to stop reacting by obeying and eventually not hoping at all and not getting what I want when I really, really want something or even (gasp) believe that I “deserve” the something.
HOW IT CAN HAPPEN
I can do my beginner shiva nata on it
I can ask for a core balance at my PSYCH-K session this week
I can pay attention to the monster when it rears its head and try to soothe it. After all, it’s just trying to protect me from disappointment.
MY COMMITMENT
When I feel the monster, I will sit with it in whole brain posture
I will pay attention to the situations and thoughts that trigger this particular monster, and blog or journal about them so I understand the pattern.
.-= lynn @ human, being´s last post … Show & Tell: In which I meet an International Film Star =-.
I am feeling sad today, carrying an ancient ancient grief.
My Ask: I would like to find a way to honor the interpersonal-energetic job I held, in my family, for years and years and years. And then I would like to stop carrying that job. That role. I would like the release to be absolutely complete. No remains. No shreds. No left-over guilt, no shadows. Complete release.
How this might happen? I don’t want to *struggle*. I’ve been struggling for decades. I want it just to ease and melt away, of its own accord, and some time in the next few days I wake up, and the morning will have a whole new flavor of joy.
My commitment: I will remember what that job was, and that it was a job I agreed to do, at some really deep level. And more importantly, that it was not something essential in who I am, in the nature of my being, and thus I’m forced to always do this. And since it’s not something about who I am in my essence, that gives me the freedom to just plain up-and-quit that job. There’s much more fun stuff to do, much more love available, than what that role allows for.
Thing 1: Less Piglet, More Pooh
Here’s what I want: To have less of the Piglet mood, the very small animal, the small and afraid-ness going on, and more of the cheerful Pooh who lets the world do what it will.
Ways this could work: Something might come along to give me a boost of confidence and cheer. I could just step out of the mood. I could talk to my inner Piglet and see if there’s a way to boost my confidence from the inside. There could be honey and condensed milk and warmth — but please, no bees.
My comitment: I will try to acknowledge that not all the things Piglet thinks and says are true, even if it requires looking outside myself for reassurance. I will make an effort to feel better physically with some movement as my body allows. I will give time to friends and things I love to do. There will be tea.
Thing 2: Abundance, please.
Here’s what I want: Basically, I want to stop feeling this painful scarcity and lack, and step back into the abundance I had earlier in the year.
How this could happen: For the three projects on the cusp of payment to get to the money in the bank point. For some new projects to start up. For some Etsy sales to sell. For someone to buy some art in order to be a cartoon, to commission a painting, to commission a cartoon.
My commitment: To keep working, to speak up, to keep trying. To post and tweet and create. Also, tea.
.-= Amy Crook´s last post … Why Do You Blog? =-.
Well, I’ve become remarkably phlegmatic when people throw shoes at me — outwardly, at least. I’d like to become a little more phlegmatic on the inside, though. (Without actually becoming…phlegmmy, that is.)
I’m also getting to the point where Systems Are Needed. I’m working on setting up those systems for the first time, and I’d like some guidance on how I can make them lasting, scalable systems that will continue to work well even if/when things grow.
Lastly…I’m struggling with a thing I’ve been struggling with for a long time. Namely, school. I’d like to make peace with school. I know it probably can’t happen all at once, but a little bit of peace-making would be very welcome.
.-= the fat nutritionist´s last post … The great divorce of body and mind. =-.
Yay Very Personal Ads!
These are absolutely lovely. As always, it is such a pleasure for me to read them and be happy for other people’s wishes.
@claire – oh yes, thanks for asking — in the VPAs I am talking for the most part about Internal Asks.
And not so much asking for things as asking for help with the process of wanting them and getting them. Or the *relationship* with wanting things.
Like, “can I get better at being more comfortable with X?” or “what happens when I give myself permission to want Y?”
In general I kind of don’t think we can do much with asking others, other than acknowledging their sovereignty and that the ask is about us, not about them, and that they don’t have to meet our need unless they can.
(Though I am really interested in what I can do to meet other people’s pain without feeling pressured to say yes to *their* asks …)
It’s like Hiro’s thing about how you “can’t get milk from a stone”.
Though I do think that as I get more clarity on what my stuck is, the easier it is for me to be clear on what I need in relationships with other people. I’ll still ask myself first though.
Hope that doesn’t just make it more confusing. 🙂
@Karen Sharp – love for the you that did the job and love for the you that is done doing the job.
@Lisa – yay for your thing! And yay for keeping it safe and supported and knowing what you need. AWESOME.
Oh boy. ‘Less Piglet, more Pooh.’ I could take that as my motto at the moment… yes, I think I will. There’s a definite sense of being a ‘Very Small Animal’ that’s been floating in me since I was a wee thing in reality… not that all 160 cm of me is a giant now.
But what I want: I want to understand where this fear/anxiety/worry/doubt comes from that causes me to procrastinate. I want to be nice to myself. I want to fix it somehow.
I will: use Havi’s fairy dust and drink copious cups of tea. I’ll let myself work 5 minutes on and 5 minutes off if that’s what I need. I’ll give myself little hugs and time to ponder and investigate where the stuckness comes from.
… I have to confess I haven’t put up any VPAs for a while, because I had one that I thought – and said here – was totally answered (finding a new home), and it fell apart again on me the next week. I felt like such a fraud! Silly, but there you are.
@Kathleen Avins: Green Man, yes, that totally rings a bell and does sound like the right track. Thank you!
@Havi: No, that totally makes sense to me and generally is how I’ve approached it, today’s ask notwithstanding.
I asked because I feel like I’m reading mixed messages sometimes. E.g., you start every VPA post mentioning your 1st VPA for your house which seems pretty thing oriented. Of course, you’re allowed to evolve how you use VPAs just like the rest of us. It’s what’s useful that counts, right?
.-= claire´s last post … The return of the owl =-.
Dining room table. This is, by coincidence, part of my VPA:
I want a new dining table, too, I have wanted one for quite a while. I just need to “convince” my husband of this. What I like about a nice dining table: it is a wonderful place when you are by yourself, it is a wonderful place to sit together at with friends, best place for yummy home cooked meals or for a tea or a glass of wine, you can put candles and flowers on it. A nice dining table can be the heart of a room. It can bring new life and energy to a room – and hence to oneself. A table can be a home in itself.
Here’s what else I want:
I have an immense urge for decluttering at the moment and have been doing so over the past days (this is 1 1/2 years after the last major decluttering episode and I am constantly going “Why on earth did I keed this or that?”). I keep finding things all the time, mostly photos, that reminds me of a something that I need to let go off. These are painful moments and I would like to find out more about the relationship of my decluttering urge and the letting-go process.
I want to do a painting for the wall above the dinner table that I have had in mind for a long time.
I want to stop putting pressure on myself that “something needs to happen”.
How this can happen:
More work on this letting-go thing during my next session with my therapist.
Try and have next weekend mostly to myself so that I can start on the painting.
My committment:
Tune in with my current rhythm for things and not try and work against it.
VPA #1
Wanted: The Right People To Find My Thing. Or My Thing To Find My Right People.
I put my Thing out into the world last week. A small part of the world. I felt sick. I thought – people will laugh, people will scoff. And then I realized that people laughing and scoffing would have been ok. And that the worst thing is for people to do nothing. To just look at my Thing and shrug.
But, it’s out there. And I can keep working on it out in the light and maybe people will start to wonder what I’m tinkering with and come over and say “oh, that’s what that is. I couldn’t tell before. How do I get in on that?”
So, I will commit to not abandoning my Thing or thinking bad thoughts about it or me.
The good thing about putting my Thing out there is that it means I’ve turned on and gassed up the Bridge-Builder-O-Matic and am fiddling with the gears and figuring out the pedals and loading up the supplies and heading over towards the gorge to start building my awesome bridge.
Still asking for help with the same STUCK — I wonder why, as I’ve been stuck with it my whole life! 🙂
I need help putting down the mean sticks I use to beat myself with (metaphor). Help remembering that I am still a good person even with piles of laundry, too many calories and not enough gym.
Ways this could work:
I could make lists of nice things about me
I could ask for hugs
I could pet my lovely kitties who adore me (as long as I feed them)
I DON’T want to ask others to tell me I’m ok, that doesn’t really work, long-term.
Hmmmm
These are my absolute favorite posts. I love the idea of just asking for what you want and, although I haven’t started blogging my wants (quite frankly the thought of putting it out there publicly scares the pants off of me…even though I have but one loyal reader), I have started a personal program of asking for what I want and waiting for the answer to appear instead of pounding puzzle pieces that don’t fit into place!
.-= Catherine´s last post … I’m Flying, Jack…er…Ashley =-.
I would like, please, clarity dealing with another person’s issues with my care of her thing. I was doing my best, I am still doing my best, and I am having a lot of heavy duty shoes flung. I would like her to see that my best was really good. I would like her to hear that I share her sorrow. I would like her to stop blaming me and throwing more guilt on me.
ways this could work: I keep answering her accusing with the sanest and calmest me I can find. I don’t want to poke her too hard, she bites. Actually, I’d like to be able to disengage and be done. But I don’t think she’s done yet.
I can just keep breathing into it
I can try my new Shiva Nata and see if anything else comes up
I can go ride a horse – they can be both challenging and soothing
.-= lee´s last post … What’s next? =-.
Way behind on my VPA update and new asking, there was a big fat iguana in my way. He is sitting on my chest limiting my typing ability so this will be short.
Last week: Thanks universe for making the Secret Thing easier to deal with! It was seriously way easier than I thought and not nearly so much angst before and after.
I did not sell any bonbons on Etsy (yet?) but maybe have sold some at the shop. I am okay with that I guess but it is rather discouraging because if that’s my Thing then it is off to a VERY slow start, which is scary. Bleahness~!
This week: I want to be Motivated, damn it! I need to start moving and quit eating chocolate and stop spending so much time on the interwebs (even though I am meeting such wonderful friends as You, dear reader!).
How this could work: I could have a magic reason to get skinny again. I could do just a little each day. Blah, blah blah. Something Motivational could come along and I could suddenly be inspired. Maybe I could read something on the IW that would cause me to spring out of my sloth and start dancing for joy.
My commitment: I will do some Shiva Nata. I will do some other yoga and perhaps take the dog for a walk. I will not open the new box of chocolates TODAY. I will allow myself to be less than perfect and try to be kind to the hungry person in me who wants something sweet and creamy to make up for the bitter and crunchy dry in my life.
.-= chicsinger simone´s last post … royal eagle valentine bonbon brooch =-.
@chicsinger simone, keep your chin up! Business has a tendency to snowball – just keep putting it out there, talk about it to everyone, and it’ll pick up momentum.
I really am with you on the “try[ing] to be kind to the hungry person in me who wants something sweet and creamy to make up for the bitter and crunchy dry in my life”. It may help you to know that I’ve found a bit of exercise creates enough serotonin that I no longer feel the need for the sweet creamy stuff (in my case, actually the salty fatty stuff). Also, No Excuses Workouts offer a free daily email encouraging you to exercise that I’ve found really motivating. Give it a go!
@Vanessa: Thanks for your kind words! I am a Flybaby so I know about Jonathan but have joined his group yet. Maybe this will be the push I need ! I’ll sign up for his emails. xxoo~!
.-= chicsinger simone´s last post … royal eagle valentine bonbon brooch =-.
Man, running out the door and I just want to write this little VPA.
This *thing*. Tonight!
What I want:
I would like this *thing* to get wrapped up tonight. I would like all parties to be happy with the results. Even the party in Spain. Very happy.
Ways this could work:
It could just magically happen in the easiest way. How lovely! I could also be patient. Hear everyone out, and either take the weekend to sleep on it. Or be persistent with what I want.
My commitment:
Is to stay level headed. And to continue to be honest and respectful to all parties. And to be patient. A couple more days to think it over is a good thing.
Ah – I feel better. Thanks folks! xo