Personal ads! They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my Sunday ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!
Let’s do it.
Thing 1: maintaining sovereignty in the midst of intense movement.
Here’s what I want:
Okay, so I have the most outrageous week coming up.
Six days straight of non-stop teaching. Teaching really fun things, but a lot at once.
My wish: to stay grounded and centered.
To stay connected to myself and check in on what I need.
To maintain sovereignty and keep that crown on.
Ways this could work:
Mindfulness as an extreme sport.
Noticing everything that’s not working and making adjustments as necessary.
Noticing everything that is working and breathing a sigh of happy appreciation.
Help from the lovely Hiro.
My commitment.
To take slow, deep breaths.
To laugh.
To use the stuff I teach.
To be as flexible and adaptable as possible.
To remember that chaos is my friend.
Thing 2: Patience.
Here’s what I want:
I’m going to be having some seriously huge shivanautical epiphanies this week.
The Dance of Shiva teacher training alone is going to set off all sorts of big, crazy understandings.
But I won’t be able to do anything with them for a while, because of all the busy.
So I need to be able to trust that whatever gets seeded this week will grow into the next thing, whether I have time to deal with it or not.
Ways this could work:
I can keep a “moments of bing” notebook. If I remember to pick up a notebook.
I can write the word TRUST on the palm of my hand with my finger.
And wonderful, unlikely surprises can happen.
My commitment.
To maintain a state of containment on the one hand, and receptivity on the other.
To remind myself that I don’t need to know where this is going yet.
To be patient with my lack of patience.
To not have to have everything make sense, including that last sentence.
Thing 3: Serious self-care. God that sounds so cheesy. But it’s what I want.
Here’s what I want:
To notice when I’m starting to feel depleted.
And to do something about it.
To treat myself as lovingly as I do my students.
To stop. Check in. Find out what’s needed. And do it. Or at least do part of it.
Ways this could work:
I don’t know.
But that’s the intention.
My commitment.
To pause more often.
To say oh sweetie maybe we can’t fix everything but is there one thing that would make life sweeter, softer or easier for you?
To ask for help. Even though I suck at this.
Thing 4: Sovereignty Kindergarten
Here’s what I want:
Hiro is teaching a six week course on how to keep your crown on, even when other people insist on trying to knock it off.
You know, how to not care when people throw shoes. And how to protect yourself from people who invade your space. And how to take care of the queendom (or kingdom) of your life.
It’s basically going to be the best thing that ever was.
I would love to see this class fill up with amazing people.
Ways this could work:
The magic of the internets, of course.
My commitment.
I will write a blog post on stuff I know about sovereignty. It will definitely be useful for me. It will probably be useful for you. And maybe it will help Hiro as well.
Also, I will give you the link to her class: Sovereignty Kindergarten.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I asked for rest and got plenty of it. In fact, I kind of spent most of the week in bed, so that was awesome.
The recovery period was kind of brutal though, so next time I’ll also ask myself for more ease and patience with that.
I also needed stuff to start shifting in relation to a pattern I’m working on, and there’s been some serious progress with that so yay.
And I needed help implementing epiphanies. Which sort of happened and sort of didn’t. It needs work. But I’ll dance it up tomorrow and find out what is next.
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
What I’d rather not have:
- The word “manifest”.
- Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
- To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given advices.
Wishing love and good things for your Very Personal Ads! Thank you for doing this with me.
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VPA
Looking for Mr. White.
He has something VERY important for me and while he doesn’t quite know who I am yet, he will the very second he notices me.
I want this to be an easy find. The kind where you just bump into each other and say, “oh sorry” simultaneously then laugh and realize this person is the one who can do the thing that needs to get done!
All parts of this will be easy, right and fun. It will just flow and come together in a way that everyone benefits and prospers.
Ways this could work.
A grocery store meeting or a chance meeting somewhere informal.
A mutual friend could connect us somehow.
I’m open to possibilities.
My commitment.
To remain committed to my belief in possibilities.
To have more fun, free time and ease.
I will invite greatness all around me.
To ask for help as needed.
An update from last VPA.
I asked for ease in my neck and it happened!
As always Havi, Thank you for this space.
Best wishes with all the VPAs to everyone.
.-= Stacy´s last post … Dreaming of empty buildings, food and community =-.
VPA
More clarity & understanding of “I work best in 2’s”
Ways this could work
Experiments with time
Dreams could tell me
I’m open (mostly)
My commitment
To not dismiss immediately out of reactive habit and fear
To document experiments for data
To ask for and accept help
To be aware of what I’m doing and even if it’s not what I intended to be doing, chose to notice without shoulding or beating on myself
There hasn’t been a public VPA in a while but updates on the private ones
I sought something and got it in a very unexpected way and I know it was the VPA at work because there were so many “related, yet completely unconnected” incidents involved
Yay for asking and YAY for VPA’s and YAYA (that’s a southern ghetto girl thang? maybe for Havi’s cool place
The maybe wasn’t for Havi’s cool place. The maybe was for YAYA being a southern ghetto girl thang. 🙂
VPA! VPA! VPA!
Uppy-dates:
My last ask was for thing 1 to meet and get intimately acquainted with its first client. This hasn’t happened yet. Mostly because Thing 1 hasn’t been ready for its world premiere. (if you go to the website theres nothing there.) I HAVE done mountains of work on me. Thanks to Wednesday shiva nata dates with Karl, I’m in a much better head space to find my clients. AND i’m going to networking things tomorrow.
This week’s asks:
1) For the networking events tomorrow to be as relaxed and mellow as they are in my head. To not get queasy and nervous and sound like a nitz to everyone I talk to. To talk to people. To not hide next to a potted pant and run away after 15 minutes.
Ways this could work:
I can stay present. I can leave my mental baggage at the door. I can get centered and remember why I’m there. I can own my power, as my psychic friend says. To trust that it is possible for these events to go as smoothly as they do when I imagine them.
My commitment:
To do shiva nata before I go to the first event. To trust things are unfolding exactly as they should. To trust that I deserve to have all the good things I want.
2) I’m still looking for my clients for Thing 1. I’m making new commitments on this ask. Kind of asking again knowing what I know now…
ways this could work:
I could find my right people at the events tomorrow. When I officially launch my Thing I could get referrals from Twitter, Facebook or other internet type things. I could discover a real life connection. I have some real life ideas but I don’t (yet) see how to make them work.
My commitment:
To unapologetically talk about what I do. To accept that I am good at it. To work toward not feeling like an imposter. To not give into the monsters who insist I’m a failure. To make sure the monsters always have fruit drinks and Law and Order reruns. To be open to all the possibilities.
Special thanks to metaphor mouse for showing me that when “work” becomes a “boardwalk” everything becomes fun.
Best wishes to everyone on their VPA’s!
VPA
I want to know what I should do about this project I’m being offered (take it or leave it), and part of deciding ‘yes’ will be being able to design it in such a way that my needs get met (financially and emotionally) so that it doesn’t turn into a big life-sucking, regret swamp.
Ways this could work:
I could talk to some of my support people and get their feedback.
I could journal about what this situation would look like in it’s completely idealized form, and then decide which pieces of that idealized form are utterly necessary and which I could compromise on.
I could listen to my inner voices and when they say “I don’t know about this” and I could sort them according to legitimate concerns versus monsters and listen to them when they are legitimate.
I don’t know, I could just KNOW one morning – preferably before Thursday.
My commitment:
To schedule time to think about this. To literally make it my job to listen to myself and think this over and journal and to consider that work in and of itself.
To permit myself to say “I changed my mind” if that’s they way I feel. Or to say “I don’t want to do it this way” or “No. Just no.” And to be OK with that and recognize that I get to say these things.
To be nice to myself. And to get up and walk around and/or do some yoga poses and/or just take a walk and eat a cookie (or 7) if that’s what I need while I’m figuring this out.
Happy VPA Sunday to all!
Update on last VPA:
I wanted to make more decisions with authority and from a place of truth. I definitely did that. I listened to what I needed and acted accordingly. I hope to make this a running theme in my life.
This week…
What I want: This is a long-term VPA, but I want a studio space or office in my home that is just mine for dreaming and being “me”. A space that no one else can touch.
How this can happen: I can find a new place for us to live that has an extra den space. I can figure out a way to section off an area in my bedroom.
My commitment: Keep saving and working towards taking care of my money commitments so that I can expand.
.-= Alisha´s last post … Home Life =-.
I’m also working on being patient with my impatience. Good luck with it!
I’m so so so excited for Sovereignty Playground!!!!
What I Want: Maintaining Faith
I’ve been taking some baby steps towards a dream, toward birthing my own sweet thing.. and it’s getting very scary very quickly. I can see myself heading toward overwhelm and despite my best efforts to avoid it, a lot of it’s out of my control now.
SO, I need patience, faith and support. I’m asking to *know* that it will be okay and that i’ll come out of the other side safely.
Ways This Could Work:
-Breathe. Delegate?
-Segregate.
-Baby Steps.
-Explain that I’m overwhelmed to those who accidentally add to the overwhelm.
-Apologise to my body when I lose sleep or healthy meals in order to finish things.
-Remember that if all else fails, i’ll have a nice two week holiday before Hiro’s wonderful Sovereignty Playground where I can re-connect with it all.
My Commitment:
-Breathe
-Dance
-Sing
-Write about it
-Read
-To give myself space from people when I need it
Have a wonderful week!
.-= Rose´s last post … Personal Notes- Fragility&Courage =-.
Update on Previous: Small steps made toward getting more of my personality out into the world, into my sites, etc. And some acceptance that small steps are steps, and that’s good, too.
Thing 1: Smoothness with client work.
What I want: I have a metric ton of work to do in the next week & a half, and I’d really like it to go smoothly and for my clients to work with my pace, give me their content and feedback in a timely manner and generally be helpful in meeting their deadlines.
How this could happen: I can get into the flow faster and stay in the groove longer than usual. I can respect my need to rest, but also take advantage of my evening second wind. Priorities can be established and respected, so work that can be put off will be, and work that is time-sensitive gets done first. I can remember that the reward here is paydays that I very much need, and let that motivate me even if the rest doesn’t.
My commitment: To make and use my big to-do list. To let clients know what their deadlines are if they want me to meet the ones they give me. To rest when I need rest, to keep hydrated, and caffeinate when necessary but also take days off the caffeine if I need to. To take it one Idonwanna Iguana at a time and put them gently to bed with their Tonka Truck blankies and Spongebob pillows.
Thing 2: More clarity on the Right People issue for my art.
What I want: To figure out more of what keeps people from buying art and how to help them gently over or around those hurdles.
How it could happen: People could tell me. I could ask and then they could tell me. I could achieve some sideways clarity on this with my own buying process. Epiphanies! Some other painless way.
My commitment: To let the changes be implemented slowly as I have time, and not stress if this gets pushed aside in favor of other work. To accept that having less time to work on this means it might take a little longer. To listen to people’s suggestions but also listen to myself, and know that not every suggestion is going to work for my right people.
.-= Amy Crook´s last post … Birthday Flower =-.
VPA One: Mission Heal Foot
What I want: for my foot to get better as soon as possible.
How this could work: I could do the excercises, yoga asanas, take the painkillers, wear trainers (meh) and generally look after my foot resulting in a super speedy recovery.
My commitment: Do the excercises. Take the painkillers. Experiment with woo woo magics. Do the asanas. Wear the shoes. Rest. Rest some more. Not beat myself up about it. Have patience. Or at least try to have patience. Acknowledge that part of me is scared and that’s ok.
VPA Two: Mission Hatch That Blog
What I want: a real, live blog to be hatched.
How this could work: Make a list of things that actually need to be done, as opposed to the ones I think need to be done, which would probably be endless. Set aside some blocks of time this week to go through the list.
My commitment: To do one thing at a time.
To be gentle in my expectation of myself.
To give myself time to enjoy it.
Whoosh. It’s amazing how writing these things makes possibilites suddenly appear…
I’m trying to help with your clarity, Amy! 🙂
I have two this week.
Thing 1: Calm.
What I want: To feel like I can take time off and relax and recharge my batteries without Dooming Us All.
How it could happen: I could figure out the best way for me to work smarter instead of working all the time. I could find more Right People (I seem to do really well with artists), who think that what I do is great, so I can spend less time looking and more time doing.
My commitment: I will remember that I am not a computer, and that longer uptime does not equal better performance. I will honor the need of my mind and body for Time Off.
Thing 2: Strength.
What I want: The ability to say what I need to say instead of beating around the bush in the fear of pushing people away. (This isn’t so much “I’m going to be offensive” as “I’m not telling the whole story because I think people won’t find it attractive.”)
My commitment: I will remember that my Right People are coming to me for me, and that being an imaginary paragon-of-virtue me isn’t going to serve anybody’s best interests. I will do my level best to not write my audience’s stories for them.
Best wishes to all!
.-= Chris Anthony´s last post … Blogging survey! =-.
VPA:
I want to earn money
HOW THIS COULD HAPPEN:
People could buy my art from my brand new online shop
I could start working on the e-book that I’ve been thinking about
I could set up other income streams on my blog
MY COMMITMENT:
To add more items to my shop this week
To research the possibility of selling my photographs as cards and prints
.-= Kirsty Hall´s last post … Things And Stuff =-.
See, Kirsty, that is exactly the kind of strength I was VPA-ing for. Bravo. 🙂
.-= Chris Anthony´s last post … Blogging survey! =-.
It is very timely that your post today is entitled Equilibrium. Desperately in need of that right now as the meeting tomorrow morning with the attorneys is bringing all sorts of Monsters out to play. I thought I had them all safely locked away, but the lock apparently has failed.
What I want:
– To be calm and clear in my recollections of the pertinent facts of the past two years.
– To not let emotions block out the subtleties of what is being discussed.
– To remember that this is not a reflection on me.
– To remember that this does not define who I am as a person.
– To remember that I did the best I could under some very difficult circumstances.
Ways this could happen:
– Listen to the Emergency Calming Techniques meditation both tonight and tomorrow morning. And also if I wake up in the middle of the night unable to go back to sleep which is very likely considering my emotional state.
– To spend extra time cuddling with my kitties tonight and tomorrow to help me stay grounded.
– To consider carefully the questions posed to me before answering.
My commitment:
– To reach out to my spouse and be open with the tremendous anxiety that I’m feeling
– To reach out to my best friend who has is aware of the past year’s worth of chaos related to this matter
– To remember that our general counsel has to look out for the best interests of the institution with could be in conflict with my own personal feelings on the matter. I have a good working relationship with him on other matters and do not want to damage that. He has his job to do and so do I. We can agree to disagree.
Hmm. Well, not so much with the clarity, certainty or gungho-ness to generate forward movement last week but perhaps my ask was a bit convoluted. I was able to embrace the Zag which allowed forward movement despite my reservations. So, not bad.
This week: to increase the Zag momentum. Get back to the Y axis, so to speak, by recreating revised versions of the work I’d accomplished up to now.
Part of that entails another ask: Some design mojo. Font, color, logo. Some inspiration.
how? Sit my ass down and start drawing ideas. Track down those old pages of designs from years back (ease finding those would be awesome) and see what I think of them. Set some time aside to work on it. Be open to inspiration. Breathe. Think about what I want to convey, where the name comes from and what it means to me. Write stuff down even if it sucks.
Commitments: spending time on both tasks. Patience with myself if it doesn’t progress as fastly as I want. Quality is important. For ask #1, spend some time each day chipping away at it. Less procrastinating.
.-= claire´s last post … Sketchbook, page 33 =-.
Oof, I am very tired after a weekend of hosting my daughter’s birthday festivities. My own birthday will be a week from Monday, and we’re planning a trip to the ocean this coming weekend. So, my VPA for this week is simply a request for a peaceful and pleasant weekend excursion, followed by a very happy birthday homecoming.
How this can happen: There are bound to be some things beyond my control, but if I focus on being flexible, kind to myself and my family, self-nurturing, and open to adventure, I believe we’ll be all right.
My commitment: To continue my practice of being in the moment, wherever I am, whatever is happening. To be loving and creative. To breathe, and to stretch. To savor the sea.
Hope and good wishes to all of you!
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … The wilderness within =-.
This is an update on the VPAs I was writing about 3-4 mos ago. They just about ALL came true! And holy am I happy. The job, the house, all of it.
So thanks for this space to put it out there.
xo
My inaugural VPA 🙂
Here’s what I want:
Action. I adore learning & I get so excited, running around telling my friends about the cool new things I’m discovering. Time to put lessons into practice
Ways this could work:
I could incorporate the telling into the action
Shiva Nata – bring on the epiphanies
Being gentle with myself
Recognizing & cheering when I do take steps, even mini baby steps that feel more like crawling
My commitment:
Hydrating – remembering to drink water throughout the day
Experiment with morning walks
Here’s what I want:
To discover triggers for productivity. Some days I sail through & am amazed at what gets done. Other times weeks stretch into months and I feel like there’s little to show for it
Ways this could work:
Experimenting
Reviewing my catalogue of journals for patterns & ideas on what’s worked in the past
using the super power of Shiva Nata to uncover patterns
My commitment:
Clearing my morning schedule to see if sleeping in helps
Mixing up Shiva Nata so that arms are flailing
Thanks for the space to do this. I felt comforted seeing Deanna talk about wanting to run away after 15 mins at networking events. Last time I went to something like that, I left as soon as I could. Fingers crossed that Deanna’s event goes smoothly
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Oh! Thank you! This is tremendously helpful.
Also, “mindfulness as an extreme sport” is very rocking my world right now.
.-= Tracy´s last post … All my work is in progress =-.
Oops- sorry for the flinging about of accidental HTML. Here is the wonderfulness I was trying to reference in my previous comment:
To maintain a state of containment on the one hand, and receptivity on the other.
To remind myself that I don’t need to know where this is going yet.
To be patient with my lack of patience.
To not have to have everything make sense, including that last sentence.
.-= Tracy´s last post … All my work is in progress =-.
Yay, VPA! I missed all of you while I was in France.
VPA #1:
For my ten special web packages to find a home.
My new partner and I have deeply discounted ten webpackages. It’s not even so much a marketing thing as an effort to find ten really cool businesses that we could help and love and give a cool web presence too. Unfortunately, doing that is proving to be a little difficult.
My Commitment:
-To hold onto the packages until they find just the right owner.
-To get over my fear of networking and strangers and make connections with people I think we’d be a very good fit with.
-To possibly get over my fear of emailing strangers and email Havi to offer them up to the Kitchen Table people.
VPA #2:
To find the money for the Soverignty Kindergarten class.
This would involve dealing with several hangups, because I’m really terrible at spending any kind of money on personal development type stuff. Or money on things that are not essential bills or the business. Also, part of me feels like I’m just not zen enough for that class, but I also know it is something that I could really use and would improve my life and how I feel about myself.
My Commitment:
-to make enough money this week so I feel comfortable setting it aside for the class
-to work on my relationship to money (why do I feel like I don’t deserve it, even when I earn it?)
-To read more of Hiro’s blogs and try and find a way to get into that mindset so I don’t feel so weird about wanting to do it.
Good luck this week, everyone!
.-= Holly´s last post … Morality in Marketing: Where Do You Draw the Line? =-.