Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my Sunday ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!
Let us dooo eeeet.
Thing 1: aaaaaaaaah spaciousness.
Here’s what I want:
The busy. It is not ending.
There’s the Rally this week and then teaching in Sacramento and then all of a sudden we’re halfway through December.
Somehow I need for pockets of breathing room to open up in there. Either that or some cool machine that slows down time. Superpowers activate!
Ways this could work:
Shavasana.
Naptime. Bathtime.
Buffers and neutral zones.
Lots of playing at the Playground.
Not taking myself too seriously.
I don’t know.
My commitment.
To observe the hard and the good, and find out what I need.
To put someone else at the front of the V.
To be genuinely curious and loving and inquisitive about whatever monsters show up and not just shove cookies at them to try to make them shut up.
To laugh when I can and cry when I can’t. Yes, that was probably going to happen anyway but I just committed to it. So there.
Thing 2: phase 2 of the Great Rebrunching.
Here’s what I want:
It’s that time of year again, somehow.
We’re gearing up for the (gasp) THIRD YEAR of my At the Kitchen Table program where we actively practice all the stuff I talk about on the blog.
This year I’m not breaking my head over the change-over. Which is interesting and good.
But we’re also gearing up for a lot of back-end adjustments, which means time crunch.
What I’d like is for the rolling-out to go smoothly, while I’m away rallying it up at the Rally (Rally!).
Ways this could work:
I know how the technical bits are going to work. We have just about a hundred people on the waiting list, and as of Monday, the waiting list will be officially closed.
On Toozday morning we’ll let that group of lovely and patient people start applying. They’ll get a two week headstart, and then if there are any seats left we’ll open the doors to the General Public (aka blog mice et al).
As for the how is this going to work with smoothness and spaciousness and all that? No idea.
And I will be too busy with the Great Ducking Out and then teaching in Sacramento to figure that out, so it’s going to have to work smoothly.
I’m definitely hoping that this can be a fun experiment in not obsessing over details and finding out how much I can trust our systems. Yes, please.
My commitment.
To breathe and take lots of notes.
To remember that each year this process gets slightly easier. And that everything I do this year (even if it turns out to be a colossal screw-up) is useful information.
To enjoy this amazing community that is like nothing I have ever experienced.
Hooray for smart, compassionate curious people working on their stuff while having imaginary cake fights and being ridiculous.
p.s. If you want to start early on this, I happen to know (because I was at Drunk Pirate Council and because it was my idea) that this year we’re doing conversations with monsters. So you could go ahead and start documenting a dialogue, and then you’re already most of the way there.
Thing 3: oh there is this thing I want to work on!
Here’s what I want:
I have a beloved project mission that I’ve been wanting to spend time on since August.
My heart is whispering please please please, and I have most of the ralllying this week to make progress on it.
However, the rally always has its own agenda, so who knows.
It would be so brilliant to really truly make progress on this. And if that doesn’t happen, may the thing that does be so fabulous that I don’t care.
Ways this could work:
Love notes. Secret trysts.
Lots and lots of help from metaphor mouse.
My commitment.
To work through the hard and find out what’s needed so this can happen.
To process the process and ask lots of questions.
Trust trust trust trust trust.
Thing 4: superhero gloves.
Here’s what I want:
Eeeee! I saw these on Etsy and ohmygod.
Why do I not have superhero gloves? This is important.
Ways this could work:
I can contact her and find out if she’ll make them for big people.
And hum my new superhero gloves superhero gloves song that exists only in my head.
I can show them to the Schmoppet and his eyes can go big.
Superhero gloves!
My commitment.
To be worthy of superhero gloves.
I’m not sure what that entails but I’m on it.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
First thing I wanted was an alternative plan to SXSW and that weirdly resulted in my decision to not travel for the next eighteen months. Awesome.
Then I needed help with order and sequencing, which went pretty well. Drunk Pirate Council was not as hellish as anticipated.
I wanted ease-filled readjustment back from the Week of Biggification. Kind of happened and kind of didn’t.
The part that went really well: daily naps and early to bed and not having ten thousand client calls.
The part that was hard: adjustment is just hard.
And I wanted progress on a project, and ended up sharing my thoughts/vision with some people. Scary but exciting. We’ll see where it goes.
It’s kind of freaking me out that no one seems to think it’s as impossible as I do. But that’s probably a good thing.
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
Stuff I’d rather not have:
- The word “manifest”.
- To be told how I should be asking for things.
- To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given unsolicited advice.
Wishing love and good things for your Very Personal Ads! So glad for everyone doing this with me.
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Oh my god! I love the superhero gloves! And seriously, if she can’t make them for you in big person sizes, let me know… these can totally be made for you (and me, and probably all of my friends!) 😉
I’m practicing the ask in big ways these days; it still makes me a might nervous, but I’m getting better at it… last night, I celebrated the Thai Festival of Lights by releasing a hot air balloon into the night sky with the help of a monk (on top of the balloon was written my “prayers” for the next year… doesn’t feel like you can make a much bigger ask than that!)
So, my VPAs for this week;
Thing 1: Boundaries, that can be protective of me, but not hurtful towards others.
I find myself in the awkward position of being pursued by a friend of a friend, whom I enjoy hanging out with, but whom I have no further interest in. I’m no good at nicely letting men know that I have no interest; my history is full of either simply running and hiding, or trying to be nice until I finally get so frustrated by their inability to properly interpret my nearly-non-existent “I’m not interested” signals that I end up feeling like I have to be mean (and then getting mean).
What I would like; to find a way to explain to this man that I like him, but have zero interest in romantic interludes… and to do so without hurting his feelings, or ruining what could be a nicely blossoming friendship.
Ways this could work:
*I could just tell him how I feel, and hope he understands (without getting his feelings hurt)
* I could run away… not ideal, but it is an option
* I could run away just long enough to get my thoughts straight so that when I tell him how I feel, it doesn’t come out in a jumble of nonsense that makes no sense and hurts his feelings.
* I could write him a letter, so that my oh my god, conflict! monsters don’t have a chance to mess up my carefully worded thoughts when I try to sit down and talk to him.
My commitment:
* To journal
* To breathe
* To give myself permission to run away, if I really need to
* To spend some time with my monsters, and find out what they need in order to feel safe with this
* To practice building my boundaries, and feeling safe within them
Thing 2: Playful productivity, the kind where I actually do the things I want to do, but without feeling stressed out or lost or any of those other things that keep me from actually doing the things I want to do.
Ways this could work;
* I could incorporate Chickens into my daily practice, to keep myself on track
* I could write love notes to myself, to remind me of what those things are that I actually want to be doing
* I could be forgiving of myself when I stray
* I could remind myself that I’m technically on vacation, so even though there are things I want to do, it’s ok if nothing gets done
My commitment:
* To journal
* To write said love notes
* To play with my desires, and see if there’s a hidden reason for why I keep getting distracted
* To just play and try to enjoy whatever happens
* To forgive myself if I can’t always remember to enjoy whatever happens
<3 to everyone, and good luck with your VPAs
The gloves rock. And would look good with a crown.
My VPA:
Thing: My living situation. Even just going into details gives me the heebie jeebies, but. Physically safe, ish, mentally awful. But I have the chance to move with a good friend. Probably. Except there are lots of *ifs* and lots of “Oh god this will all fall through and it will be my fault!!!”
What I would like: To find a way to get through this in a healthy way, and get moved.
Ways this could work:
+ I could panic and get things done in little bits and flounder (not ideal, but hey, it’s an option).
+ I could make a regimented structure for Getting Everything Done (again, not best, but)
+ I could make a lot of lists and do things in small chunks.
My commitment:
+ To ask my friend what she’s thinking and not just assume I know, because I’m often worrying without cause.
+ To make lists and not go around saying “I know I’m being silly, but…” The lists help. If they help, they are by definition not silly.
+ To stick with the lists to the best of my ability – including scheduled sit-downs to preserve spoons.
+ To keep some knitting on hand so I can grab five minutes here and there to breathe.
I’d also love to learn to actually trust to stuff, like the idea my friend won’t hate me forever if things don’t go perfect, but… I think that’s a bit too much of an ask right now!
Last week I wanted Yoga, Love, Clients and Money. I got the yoga. Oh, it was lovely!
I discovered that I had something on my website saying I didn’t want a particular kind of client. Which was wrong. So i took that down.
I’m reposting my other ads.
2. Love. Man companionship. Mutual adoration. Snuggles. Love notes. Giddiness. In a big swirly soup of goodness. Ways this could work: the Universe could plop this person in front of me as I go about doing the things I love and I could notice this person and we could notice each other and somehow start speaking to each other and then go from there. My commitment: To take care of myself and do things that make me happy and feel good and to try to notice if eligible bachelors are being plopped near me.
3. Clients. The awesome kind who need and want me and pay me money to do things I’m good at and enjoy. Ways this could happen: um, they could notice all the things I’ve been doing or hear about me from someone and call me and hire me. Note: People who hate their families and should really be calling a therapist should not call me. I can’t and won’t help you and I think you are sad. My commitment: to continue to tweak my message so that the right people find me, not the ones seeking vengeance. To work on all the things that I know lead to client. To take good care of my current clients.
4. Money. Enough money to get me happily through November, December and January – happily, easily, profitably, enjoyably through those months. Ways this could happen: people send me checks. or bring them to me. or someone surprises me with a bit of money. My commitment: to remain open to all possibilities.
Very Personal Ad #13
Update on last week!:
The thing was perspective. And I kind of got it. By mid-week, things had once again started flitting back towards normal. But I know that it’s possible. Now I know that I just need to flirt with it a little and coax it back out of hiding. There is possibility here. I can work on the rest.
So, this week!
Thing 1: Changes and Conversion
What I would like: I have nerve damage in my arms, damage that seems to particularly despise typing, but really it hates any kind of hand motion. But, it hates them less, so I have hope. Maybe I can never type again, but if I could play music… draw the things in my head out….\
Ways this could happen: I could talk to myself and see what other interests I have.
I could let go of the writing. (I have what I have. I don’t want to lose what I’ve got left.)
Inspiration could flash through like lightning.
I could get an idea from somewhere.
I could task to the awesome male-person.
My commitment: To let go of what I can.
To ask smart questions.
To be gentle with myself.
To let whatever comes be a sweet little thing.
To talk.
Thing 2: Anti-STRESS
What I would like: To stop freaking out. To trust that answers are there, that I don’t have to do it all, that things without me will not fall apart and that I am allowed to not be sick and sleep.
Ways this could happen: I could ask more questions.
Therapy!
Male-person talking.
Do nice things for me.
My commitment: To do that stuff.
To not beat myself when it inevitably hiccups.
Here’s what I want
More people to take advantage of the Pattern Spotter’s Guide presale – and, not incidentally, give me money. (There are two super-sparkly packages left, and twenty-nine regular packages left.) More people to hear about the sale, and the Guide.
Here’s what I know about you, lovely Guide-buyer.
You’re interested in astrology. Maybe you know something about it, or maybe you don’t know much beyond reading your horoscope in the newspaper. Either way, you’re interested in learning more, and you’re looking for a gentle, jargon-free introduction.
You’re interested in learning about your patterns and working on your stuff. Maybe you’re a Shivanaut. You’re coming at your chart from the working-on-your-stuff angle.
You’re looking for information about yourself that’s relevant and useful, and will help you cope better next time you’re in a difficult situation.
You’re smart and creative and you have a pretty good bullshit detector.
Also, you like wombats.
Ways this could happen
You could see this VPA and decide that the Guide is totally for you.
You could see it on Twitter or Facebook or my blog.
Someone you know and love could point you in my direction.
Or something else that I can’t even imagine.
My committment
I’m going to keep working on the sales page.
I’m going to make the introduction to the ebook available (within a week).
I’m going to offer a discount to my astrology list (also within a week).
And I’m going to imagine my sweet and lovely customers and send them a million kisses for even maybe exisiting.
Update from past VPAs: On continuing to find new clients – Yea! I’ve got a client starting in February and a meeting with two more families this week who are interested. The momentum, it’s definitely builiding! As for my VPA from two weeks ago… I’m still working on it. Turns out, when you don’t keep up with the housecleaning for long enough, getting back to square one (A Very Clean Home) takes a LOT of time and effort. I’ll be continuing to look for ways to make maintaining the clean easier.
And now for this week.
I attended a workshop on NVC yesterday and was both encouraged and excited to see the ways in which I’ve already been practicing NVC with myself and with my clients. I also see how incorporating NVC more intentionally in the future into my work with my clients will meet needs I haven’t felt equipped to handle in the past.
What I Want: to be a part of a community of people interested in further study and exploration using NVC systems so that I can figure out in what ways I can best help my clients
Ways this could work: some of the lovely people I met at yesterday’s workshop could join me in further study and exploration in either a formal or informal regular gathering. I could take a deep breath and do the thing that seems so scary – applying for the Kitchen Table – which I totally want to do, but just seems like too big a commitment for me. [There. There’s the Monster, Havi. I found it. Amazing how just the writing and saying helps- when I read about the Monster dialogue, my mind was blank. And now it so isn’t. I totally have work to do.]
My commitment: To seek and encourage community where I find it. To recognize that sometimes my need for space and solitude are greater than my need for connection and that that’s ok too. To take a deep breath and remind myself that just because I’ve had the Great Idea, I will probably need lots of time and study to be able to use the Great Idea effectively. To remember to be patient with myself even when I want to change the world TODAY.
And I forgot to click the link to see follow-ups. So I’ll try again now. 🙂
Ooo gloves – very exciting! The right gloves defintely have special powers of awesomeness, so may these be yours.
VPA 1: I want the job interview I have tomorrow to go as well as it can do. I want to be coherant, confident and to persuade them that I would be fantastic at the job. I want to perform well in the editing exam. And so all this without being blinded by nerves.
How this could work:
– prepare well
– they could be lovely and totally put me at my ease
– I can give myself permission to be myself and smile
– I can ask for a few minutes to think if a question totally throws me
My commitment:
– preparation!
– do some relaxing yoga in the morning
– remember that even if I don’t get the job, I’m still going to get feedback and learn about how I am in these situations
VPA 2: I have a secret project, something that I really enjoy but I feel that I’m ready to move on with it…yet not really sure how that’s possible.
How this could work:
– carry on making connections, perhaps I will come across someone with some suggestions
– work out what I truly want to get out of it
– the universe could ‘ta-da!’ an answer at me
– shiva nata could ‘ta-da!’ an answer at me
My commitment:
– keep an open mind for those ‘ta-da!’ moments
– and for moments of serendipity
– dance
Super-hero gloves would be fabulous as fingerless so I could wear them whilst writing/typing! I might actually make some of those… fingerless gloves+felt cuffs
While I’m at it I should finally get around to making myself a crown dammit.
This week!
Thing 1: Softness and light for dear friends
What I want- My friends are struggling through family breakup/breakdown. So much hurt. Anguish. I want them to have days of hope. I want their children to feel important. I want there not to be a sense of abandonment.
Ways this could work-
Time machine? Be transported in time to see that all have survived 10 years from now?
My committment- To remain at the end of email and phonecalls. Listen. Guide as requested. Pray. Encourage others to support the children at school. I will take care of myself too and remember that I cannot control their lives.
Thing 2: Get the word out!
What I want- to get my research findings to the right people so that it lives and breathes
Ways this could work-
-promote my own work somehow… need to connect to a point person in different departments who would believe in the work and promote it for me
-contact leaders and have them partner in writing with me for the journals that they read
-keep writing, writing, writing but peek out from my office as well
My committment-
Write. Produce little bites of info for different groups to pull them into the research. Contact 3 different departments/leaders this week. I will work on not taking it personally if they do not respond- this is an extra task for them and not part of their paid time.
Have a good week!
Ahhhh. VPA. Lovely.
Heidi & Jack, hugs on your sticky situations, and Jane, I’ve got fingers crossed for your interview. Sending good thoughts to those looking for clients and getting the word out!
Quick update: we’re moved into the place I VPA’d, which worked really quite well, and got all the deposit back on old place. I am staunch VPA fan now!
My thing for this week: I’ve got grandiose plans for next year, and about a zillion scraps of paper with things I need to remember to do, and no idea of the order of what needs to happen first. I would like order. I’d like a clear plan of attack and a feeling of calm, happy momentum.
How this could happen: I could snap a plan into place. I could finally find a list system that works for me. I could find something completely different that works for me. I’m open to any possibility.
My commitment: I’m going to metaphor mouse the idea of lists and time management and systems. I’m going to recognize and appreciate the progress I’ve made even if it feels like I’ve been sprinting in a tight circle. And I’m going to take care of myself as this all becomes clear.
Thing: oh god. shoes everywhere. I didn’t even know they were flying until I got *thunked* in the face a couple times. I am crying and I have shoeprints on my face. I would like to not drown in these shoes.
How: Admit I’m not the problem. Admit the odds of things around me being resolved successfully are low. Admit that that’s not my fault. Do my damndest to cheer from the sidelines anyway.
Commitment: Give positive advices to the Person close to me who needs to see something to understand the thing he’s trying to understand. Not negative. No hating. Steady love and focus.
And of course, to properly feed and dress myself.
I too am drooling over the super-hero gloves!
My VPA for this week:
Item 1: ease and spaciousness for what promises to be a crazy week with family visits, weird schedules, and all the rest.
How this could happen: I could remember that spaciousness is internal, not external. Remember I have Fabeku’s Don’t lose your shit kit. Maybe put the first track on repeat all day long! http://www.sankofasong.com/shop/dont-lose-your-shit-kit/
(not an affiliate link 😉 )
My commitment: remember that I know things that can help. Make myself a list and put it somewhere I can see it.
Item 2: Enough people to register/donate for my Girl Effect teleclass/fundraiser to make enough money to fund the refurbishing of a school.
How this could happen: People could read my post and register/donate.
http://dreamgardencoaching.com/international-childrens-day-celebrating-with-a-gift-and-a-challenge/
People could help spread the word on Twitter, Facebook, etc. I could tell two friends and they could tell two friends and so on and so on….
My commitment: To not let the monsters keep me from telling people about this. To do an awesome teleclass to help folks escape the grip of holiday overwhelm. To not give up until I reach my goal!
Happy VPAing to all!
VPAs! The thing I need when I need sanity and spaciousness.
1) Ease
Many, many things going on. Pushing on job definition that is setting off alarms even though this is NOT then. PTSD meeting PMS just before Thankgiving. Awesome. Someone else’s dirty stuff all over my front lawn thanks to the great Storage Unit Debacle. Two more days to get stuff done before five days of vacation. So, I am asking for ease, as my beloved and I slowly work through it all, and care lovingly for our toddler at the same time
Ways this could work:
* I can maintain my sense of humor and just do the next good thing at any time.
* I can practice setting boundaries around myself at all times in order to deal with the inlaws and others.
* I can remind myself that I am loved, and practice loving myself in all my complications and intensity.
2) Routines
This is an interesting one, since I’m a Virgo. So, I’m asking for help in finding routines for myself that aren’t all-or-nothing, punishing, or otherwise involved in so much of the negative self-talk that usually goes along with this. Also, I think good routines will help with that much-needed sense of ease as I go about the many things to do in the next while.
Ways this could work:
* I can be willing to listen to my body and my family rhythm to see where I can find the inherent structure that supports me.
* I can also be willing to only do something for 15 minutes if that’s all I’ve got.
* I can treat myself with love and respect, whether or not I find routines.
Thanks all!
It’s taken me a while to decide what to wish for today. I have many wishes, and some of them feel scary — or if the wishes themselves don’t, the asking openly does. Havi, Selma, fellow commenter mice and Beloved Lurkers, do any of you have any thoughts on how to handle the monsters who say don’t tell or it won’t come true? They aren’t always a problem for me, but today, for some reason, they are.
Anyway, I do have a VPA for today: Bloggery.
What I want: A mostly-daily blogging practice that adds to my happiness, that helps me stay connected with myself and others.
How this can happen: I can light a candle, or set a timer, or have a Blogging Hat — something to serve as a reminder to me that I want to give myself this time, this space, this creative outlet — and as a reminder to my monsters that this is a finite, containable practice that is not going to prevent me from dealing with all the shoulds and oughtas and gottas in my life.
My commitment: To choose the tangible reminder (candle, hat, utility belt — superhero gloves?!) and to place it near my desk. To let this be a playful thing.
Love, luck and fair winds to all of you. Oh, and naps!
My dear, the very question! You are totally worthy of superhero gloves.
My VPA this week is for equilibrium.
The situation
Everything seems really difficult at the moment. Not that anything bad is happening – quite the contrary – it’s just that there’s no let-up.
All day, every day, I work as hard as I can, but I don’t make enough progress. I feel as though I’m paddling for all I’m worth and still only just keeping my chin above water.
What I want
I know enough (thanks, Havi!) to see that this is a pattern – a story in my life.
I want a new story.
I want to find an easier way – a way of doing what I need to do without damaging myself, grinding myself down, constantly sprinting to catch up.
Here are some of the qualities that I need more of: rest, peace, spaciousness, calm, kindness, play, laughter, connection, support, ease, leisure, spontaneity, fun.
(More money and more sleep wouldn’t go amiss.)
Most of all, I need equilibrium: a sense that things are basically ticking over nicely – that if I decide to stop and catch my breath every so often, I won’t pay a price for it later.
Ways this could happen
I could learn to recognise when I’m pushing myself needlessly, and maybe not do that.
I could experiment with resting even when my monsters are screaming at me.
I could notice other parts to this pattern that might help me start to unclench and dissolve it.
My commitment
Shiva Nata! Lots of Shiva Nata.
Noticing, and being open.
OK, that’s it. Fly, my little VPA! Fly!
What I want:
Space, that leads to sovereignty, that leads to peace, that leads to regrowing trust.
Ways this could work:
Last week could be the hardest week this whole darktime and every other week could be better, even if only by a little.
I could protect my space from intrusions from Things I Don’t Need. Somehow. Um.
My space could stop feeling threatened by everything ever. (It’s a perception thing, not a real-external thing.)
…I don’t even know.
My commitment:
Breathe.
Walk away when I need to, if I can.
Walk away in my head if I can’t do so physically.
Breathe.
Be mindful of others’ sovereignty. It’s not my stuff, it’s theirs. I’m just witnessing it, that’s all.
Be mindful of my sovereignty. It’s not someone else’s stuff, it’s mine. It’s okay.
Breathe.
progress on last VPAs
Got a mentor, actually two, who want to help me learn the art of Focusing. Both very cool, self-realized older folks and who came to me through the generosity of a complete stranger -because I asked!
This week: Rest & then ease
I want rest. Not just sleep, but deep in my tissues and bones rest.
How this could work:
I could do more YIn yoga in the evenings when I come home from work.
I could sleep more
I could disappear into a great book during the long weekend.
My committment:
Notice when I’m doing,doing,doing
Ease:
This one is tougher. I want to keep the ease and spaciousness when I am working. Maybe I won’t get so tired then?
How this could work:
Go slower. Breathe deeper.
My committment:
Be nicer to myself when I feel I go into overwhelm.
Remember that I am learning about ease and it’s possible to get there in teeny tiny steps.
Hi dear VPA-ers. (VPA-sters?)
What I want: Learning. Conscious growth.
Ways this could work: I could do the learning, but also devote journal time to growing the rest of me into the learning I do. And maybe give some meditation and energy to this so all of me can go on this journey.
My commitment: To trust that it’s happening. To practice mindfulness. To always keep magic in mind. (And I feel like going to see the new Harry Potter movie might help.)
Thing 2: Actual fun during this holiday week.
Ways this could work: I could go into Thursday with an expectation of fun instead of an expectation of drudgery. I could only eat things that taste good, not the things that I feel obligated to eat. I could make up a game that people could play if they want to.
My commitment: To take a moment if I need to. To not make it bigger than it is. To cultivate a mindset of play and lightness. To do arts and crafts on Friday. Arts and crafts!
A happy week to all!
Late as usual for the VPA. But better late than never!
And those gloves are amazing.
Updates.
I needed to get about 10/15 things crossed off my list.
Well. I did 6.5 out of 15. not brilliant, but getting there. transitioning.
Ask 1: catch/tie up loose ends.
Here’s what I want:
Basically I’ve overbooked myself. The big things are looming. The little things keep getting forgotten. I’d like to catch up with these.
Ways this could work:
Shivanata [i’ve been doing it daily, making a habit ^_^]
Getting to bed by 1am.
Using my sailboat plans to allocate time.
Breathing.
Faith.
My commitment.
To flail and dance.
To put someone else at the front of the V.
To read, watch programs about physics and drink tea.
Have a wonderful week everyone!
I want a safe room.
Please.
That is all 🙂
@Lucy Viret Wombats! Who doesn’t like wombats?!
A day late, because it’s taken me this long to find the words, which in itself could be its own ask…. Anyhow:
My thing right now: There are a bundle of transitions I’m finding hard to welcome, ranging from I’m-not-ready-to-handle-you to Oh-my-kittens-DO-NOT-WANT. The transitions aren’t a surprise, but the extent and depth to which I feel conflicted and unhappy about them has me feeling unhappy about feeling unhappy.
My ask: I want to handle them with the grace and focus they deserve, and I want to treat everyone they affect with the attention and compassion that I consider myself capable of giving.
Ways this can happen / my commitment:
* I can own the unhappiness in the full sense of the verb — it exists and it’s mine, it doesn’t belong on anyone else’s back or baggage, and my possessions do not dictate my life.
* I can remember all the times I didn’t take the high road — in tandem with the sleep I’d end up losing should I opt for easy/familiar/petty rather than engaging with the hard (and releasing my clutch on it in the situations that call for that).
* I can dip into my prayerbooks, light lots of candles, and maybe buy myself flowers as a reward for being a goddess of focus in spite of the tantrums my inner five-year-old is throwing every ten minutes.
* I can route the sad into working out, which would count as doing good things for myself, mute some of the self-sabotaging brain chemistry, and satisfy the “gonna show you!” monster that doesn’t want me to move on just yet.
All right. Onward. Wishing everyone their surfboards or paddlepads of choice for riding out or through the hard and drowny stuff, and sparklepoints (or soothing cups of tea — again your choice) for the things on deck to shine or support.
I really want to participate in this magic. (so what that’s it’s Monday)
I really want my first paying client!!!!
Ways this could work
– one of my friends will decide they’s like to work with me
– one of my friends’ friends will decide that they would like to work with me
– I can make ridiculous progress on my web site and someone would find me
– I can figure out another way to advertise
– I don’t know
My commitment
– to keep doing my free sessions
– 100 percent commitment
– remember that what’s happening on the outside if the reflection of what’s happening on the inside, and keep working with my own stuff
much love to all of you and good luck with all of your wishes
Haya folks,
A little context:
I am an international student 16,000 km away from my support and loved ones. I have as much writing to do in a week as I normally do in a semester. I am in hard town, all my triggers are firing (I coined the phrase ‘medicinal panic’ for when full scale panic might involve things that will not help) My lucky neck cramp is back, I have worries about not finishing off this semester, which has about 50 jabillion other little monsters in a fuzzy monster tsunami.
What I want:
To be able to write two, ten page assignments in a week, insanity is an acceptable side effect.
Ways this could work:
Ask for help from amazing friends
Make plans for study, writing and proof reading
Know that I can do it, its just words and I rock at words
My commitments:
To be ok with what ever the out comes are
To talk to the prof that seems to be much nicer to see about options
To dance the dance as much as needed
To be open to inspiration when it strikes me
To know that what ever happens this chapter will be over in a week, it will be done, finished and I never have to interact with it if I so feel
To hug Jr’thulu my plushy octopus and let him massage my brains
Chucky
ps I know this is kind of an odd ask, but would people be willing to send some shiny vibes to a lonely student who is far from hugs? Thanks.
I VPA-ers VPA-ists
VPAvians (I like that one best)
Just a note to say how cool it is that the “asks” range from the very practical to the transformational and I love reading them..And, hope you all get what you wish for.
Jules- what kind of client are you interested in and what are you offering to do with them?
Judy
@Chucky — Sending you shiny, shimmery vibes! I’m facing a similar workload, and while I am fortunate enough to have hugs close at hand, I’ve been feeling a bit cut off from fellow students who really get how hard it can be to find the pathway through this stuff (except here, of course, in this lovely fluent space, where I experience support and comprehension and compassion). Thank you, too, for asking an ask that I was afraid to ask. Whew!