Personal ads! They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my Sunday ritual. Yay, ritual!
Let’s do this thing.
Thing 1: To walk more.
Here’s what I want:
One of the member mice in my Kitchen Table program has started this thing where she committed to spending as much time walking outdoors as she does doing stuff online.
I am in awe.
Not quite ready for as big a commitment as that, but yes. More Walking!
Ways this could work:
I can remember to keep extra socks by the door. And boots! And leg warmers! It’s cold in Portland.
My gentleman friend can drag me out for walks and I can let him.
Selma can wear one of her winter scarves as a reminder that it’s time to take my duck for a walk.
Some Shiva Nata can get me ready to move. Or can help me figure out why I’m resisting it, since walking is normally one of my favorite things.
I can set alarms and reminders so I can do this during the day and not when it’s dark, which seems to be pretty much all the time lately. Oof. Winter.
Twitter-accountability partners. Or checking in on the Deguiltified Chicken Board forum at the Kitchen Table.
My commitment.
I can be patient with this practice, and give it time to start slowly and grow at its own speed. I can be okay with the fact that I’m not very good at being patient.
Or to not be okay with that, but to notice the pattern of not-being-okay-with-it.
Thing 2: to announce something without announcing it.
Here’s what I want:
There are two new openings for someone to join my fabulous hard-to-get-into Destuckification Retreat. You know, the one I never really announced.
Though I did mention it in a sentence on my Item! post, which for me is hard-core promotional since I don’t promote stuff at all, as a rule.
So. I need a way to announce these two spots (one single room, one shared room). But without sending the people who have already applied into Massive Freakouts In My Inbox about oh no what if they didn’t get in.*
*You’d be surprised, but Massive Freakouts is just one guy. Also? If you’ve applied and haven’t gotten a no, this isn’t the no. You’re probably fine for now, we’ll talk VERY soon, no worries.
How I want this to work:
With ease.
I want a couple more Right People to go take a look at the page, to ignore the part where it says it’s full (it was) and apply anyway.
People who have already done stuff with me and Selma in person (in duck?) know what an enormous everything-is-better-now experience it is. They know what it’s like to spend say, an afternoon destuckifying with me and then go home knowing that hey, they can do the thing, and then watching things just happen.
So they can imagine what it’s like to have an entire week of that, only amplified. Because the hilarity and wonder are huge. And this one will actually have rest and recovery too.
And brain-zapping. Oh, the zappy. It will be like fireworks. Only less scary.
People who haven’t done stuff with me will realize that whatever amazingness they’re imagining, it’s so much cooler than that, even though that might be kind of hard to believe.
They will look at the schedule. They will get a brief but tingly sense of what is possible when your stuff isn’t getting in the way. And when you know exactly what to do when things aren’t working.
And you know what needs to happen — plus how to access the part of you that knows it can happen, which is even more crazy and great.
My commitment.
There won’t be promotional stuff. I am not going to write a post about the retreat. I’m not going to send out an email to anyone.
Even though — “officially” — the early bird thing ends tonight, if these two right people show up, I will give them the early price even if it is past the deadline. Because what the hell, I didn’t even announce it. So it’s only fair.
I’m going to remember that if this program almost-filled without me making a big tzimmes about its existence, the Very Personal Ad can take care of the rest.
As soon as these two newly available spots are taken, I will close enrollment.
I will go through the new applications as quickly as I can. And set up phone interviews as necessary.
And I will continue be hugely appreciative of everyone in my world, as I always am: those people who love my work but can’t take classes and programs right now, those who participate in bloggishness with me, and my beloved lurkers.
They’re all marvelous.
One more thing: I will try to remember to provide links when I use Yiddishisms. And I will give one more link to the Seven Days of Destuckification Retreat.
Thing 3: Patience! More of it, please. In all forms.
Here’s what I want:
There are all these people on the waiting list for my Kitchen Table program.
And it takes huge chunks of time to process applications and figure out how many more spaces we can open.
So we’ve been doing it in sections, one small group at a time. As fast as we can. But we’re also dealing with applications for two other programs. It’s been busy. Insanely so. We’re trying.
And people have been having even more freakouts in my inbox. Are we sensing a theme? There is a theme.
Here’s how this could work:
I don’t know. Asking.
Asking for more patience from people who are waiting. Asking for some for myself.
Improving my systems. Sing ho for systems! Systems, ho! More on that next week.
My commitment.
To breathe. To communicate. To breathe some more.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last week.
The funny thing is realizing now that I did create an ask around the Destuckification Retreat last week. And then forgot about it.
But the ask wasn’t for Right People.
The ask was for me to do a bunch of administrative stuff. Which I didn’t do. Because I was teaching all week in California and things were crazy.
But maybe I didn’t do it because that wasn’t the way I wanted to do things. Maybe what I really wanted was this week’s ask for things to happen with ease and grace. And for me not to have to do a bunch of administrative stuff.
Whew. That feels better. Looser. The breathing thing. Totally working better.
I also asked for time off (you know, for me to give it to myself), which hasn’t happened yet.
Ironically, Wednesday took me off instead of the other way around, because I was recovering from some hard and couldn’t do much even if I’d wanted to.
Movement. Small. Working on it.
Also, the past few weeks have had a lot of asks related to difficult interpersonal situations, all but one of which have been quietly working themselves out.
And who knows? Maybe we’ll get some movement on that one too.
Comments. Since I’m already asking …
I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about what I would like to receive in the comments. And that way, if you feel like leaving one (you totally don’t have to), you get to be part of this experiment too. š
Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
What I would rather not have:
- Reality theories.
- Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
- To be judged or psychoanalyzed.
My commitment.
I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird. Thanks for doing this with me!
Follow
I missed these last week, with all the busy!
Update on Previous Ads: I had a lot of busy, but got a lot done! I’m feeling a strange freedom knowing that I don’t have a lot of pending little things sitting around, which I hadn’t expected. It’s interesting how clearing the decks has made way for a lot of new possibilities.
Thing 1: Holiday spirit! To pull myself out of this place of scarcity and appreciate what I do have, and make the best of it.
How This Could Happen: Cooking and baking and wrapping the presents I have bought, and thinking of alternatives to spending more money for the people still on the to-get list. Cards (half done already!) and decorations (mostly done!) and finishing the holiday projects for others (working on it!).
My Commitment: To give myself permission to worry, but to also give myself permission not to worry. To have tea and bake cookies and try to relax and appreciate the warmth and abundance in my life.
Thing 2: Abundance! Whether art or design, to have enough business coming in to comfortably carry me into the new year with a feeling of abundance and ease.
How This Might Happen: New clients, art sales, old clients with new work. Big Client ending the year on a positive note for them. Mysterious ways I haven’t thought of yet.
My Commitment: To say yes to the right people (*waves to @gloreebe88*), to have confidence in my work and to keep producing. To give myself permission to not always feel as confident or like promoting things. To give myself permission to promote them anyway.
.-= Amy CrookĀ“s last post … Procrastination Musings =-.
Well, wow. Last week I wrote my second ever VPA, asking to find the right apartment to live in as soon as possible, and for some clarity on a relationship issue. The update:
Hooorayyy! I am now the tenant of an apartment beyond my dreams and am so excited about moving in! This is some sort of miracle.
And double hooorrayy! I do have some clarity on that relationship and it has turned around in an amazing and lovely way.
Even more amazing was the sheer peace and ease with which this all happened. I am so grateful and happy.
There is a name for what I am and I like it: Beloved Lurker.
Is it silly that I love that? Like, a lot? *blush*
I love reading your Very Personal Ads, darling.
They really inspire me.
<3 Meg
I must say, Havi, you’ve gotten very GOOD at writing your Very Personal Ads. They seem to be so much less of a struggle for you now.
Not that they arent still a struggle, because they probably are, but it seems to be less stressful, less forced, or something? I’ll hush on that, now. The whole point is that the less-of-a-struggle appearance helped me to finally finish up my very own rediculously-long Very Personal Ad… I’ve had it half completed for 2 weeks, and I had to stay up until 3-dark-thirty to write it, but I finished! Yay!
It’s in the post below, linked via comment luv, I’m sure, but in short, it’s a two parter, and I’ve asked for Helper Mice to return to my life.
And thank you for the Helper Mouse label! I’m not sure it means the same thing to me that it does to you, but… I love it as a label. And since I’m writing this at 3am, I have these images of little wilderness creatures all sticking Helper Mouse! labels onto one another’s backs and laughing as wildly about it as if it said “Kick Me!”
Silly mice.
.-= Tori DeauxĀ“s last post … Helper Mice Wanted: A Very Personal Ad (part 2) =-.
Oh me too! I am a “Beloved Lurker” also. (Really, it’s just one guy!!)
*see?? I’m even starting to learn the language, the way the cool kids talk. Maybe someday I’ll even take my tray over and ask if I can sit with them at lunch (at the Kitchen Table??)
Anyway, this is just a big gratitude shout-out for everything you do, and how cool you are and how I LOVE the way you roll! (I added you to my blogroll too!)
Kath
@Amy, I call that feeling the “just got out of school for summer vacation”; enjoying it myself here, just sent off the last contract work of the year and takign a space before looking at what is next š
Update on last week:
Stitching and packing and writing all went very well. DH found the perfect box for me and I didn’t even have to ask him to look (maybe he read last week’s VPA?). I’ve shipped to this publisher before, so their address was already in my Staples account, and it will arrive on schedule. Plus it came out really really pretty and I can’t wait to share it with you when the book comes out. It’s my current favorite piece. š
Oh, and I found some potential residencies in the current issue of American Craft. Now I have to apply.
And an unwritten VPA was to have a solo show at the McConnell center. Silly me was thinking the hospital. Then an invitation to apply to exhibit showed up in my inbox from the McConnell Art Center. Same city, probably same McConnells š
This week:
I would like ease in continuing to create work. I really liked the piece I made for the book and have a plan to make several more in that style.
I would also like some time to create a new career mandala (ala The Creative Entrepreneur), and set some goals/intentions/asks for the new year.
How this can happen:
I can realize that we are not living a normal 9-5 life and that it is ok to stay up late late if that’s how the energy goes. Contrariwise, it is ok to get up early early if that is where it goes. And that except for meals, everything else can happen when it needs to happen.
.-= AndiĀ“s last post … Wishcasting Wednesday =-.
This is what I want:
I want to commit to a sleep-and-eating schedule that does not get effed up on the weekends.
What gets in the way:
The fact that most people don’t agree with me that bedtime is 10:00-10:30 and awake time is around 6 a.m.
This weekend I spent Friday night in the emergency room with my sister, which was necessary, but it completely erased the next day. (She’s fine, btw. It was a false alarm, but we had to spend seven hours there waiting for someone to tell us that.)
Saturday night I went to a friend’s orchestral concert which didn’t end until 10:30 (and I didn’t get home from until 11:45). And that’s also an important thing to do but dang, I hate staring down a Sunday with a fuzzy head and an internal system which is all “you didn’t give us dinner until midnight last night, so now we don’t want any breakfast but we do want sugar!”
I’m not sure I can go around refusing every invitation that goes past 9 p.m., but I’m starting to want to. I want to say “sorry, but my mornings are sacrosanct–that’s when I do yoga and write and think and get rid of all this stuff that’s accumulated over the past week–and I get too unhappy when I have to miss them.”
And then I think “yeah, that’s one surefire way to never get invited to parties/get married/have a family/etc.”
But dang it I know what my body needs, and when it gets off-system I get very cranky (it’s biochemical, yo!), and I hate being a cranky person because I want to be a KIND and GENEROUS person!
Anyway. š
.-= BlueĀ“s last post … Mad Men 1.7: Red In The Face =-.
@Andi, just read your last post more carefully–lol you and I should totes pull a Freaky Friday. I won’t feel badly about going to bed “on time” and you won’t feel badly about staying up “late.” š
.-= BlueĀ“s last post … Mad Men 1.7: Red In The Face =-.
Havi, may your Right People show up with both patience and enthusiasm to fill the remaining spots in your retreat. š
My VPA this week:
To create systems for my business that support an organic rhythm of work, play and rest. To have untethered time and space to daydream, explore, and receive creative inspiration.
My commitment: To pay attention and respond to shifting needs for activity and solitude. To ask for help when I need it. To balance increased outward demands on my time and energy with more rest and deeper spaciousness.
Wishing each of you fulfillment of your Very Personal Ads, with ease and grace.
Love, Hiro
.-= Hiro BogaĀ“s last post … Sunday Poem #13: Buddhist Chronicles 3 =-.
Hey all – blow kiss
WORK MONEY STUCK
To build a super charged, magical money making machine. Ok well a job that answers the immediacy of my need to pay bills now but also does not kill me in the process.
In fact something that would somehow embrace all that is strange, wonderful and flawed/unique about me and give me space to build my own creative dream-biz with time built in to breathe, rest, play.
HOW THIS MIGHT HAPPEN
Dreaming-intuiting about things – I finally get a really clear sense of zinggg and ahhhh and I go: ‘Ahhh this is what I will focus on now. It will feel right and I’ll know that it will bring in some money!’
A helper could appear via this blog, they could contact me via FB or leilalloyd@yahoo.com (My real name is NOT Nenah-Cherry – sadly!)or I could find them quickly via this blog or Freak Revolution. Again I’ll know they’re talking sense because they are kind, solid, heart savy and it will just feel right, not scary or strange.
Struggle is familiar but overrated.
If I am missing a STUCK somehow, or need to be more patient with myself, then to get a greater sense of this, or of what it is that is getting in the way of me seeing what options are both realistic and wonderful and right for me!
I think I need help to get clear – to access some heart smartness from here this wonderfuls space or if possible to help myself access it for myself – so that I can get clear and get things moving in good time.
EMOTIONAL HEART STUFF
To invite more feelings of safety and self trust.
To be kind to myself if I get exasperated with life/me/stuff.
To keep listening to what I really need and get better at articulating it with heart.
To be robust enough not to act out when people throw shoes, or when they simply need different things from me than I had expected or indeed feel able to give.
To keep a heartfelt connection so that I can be kind to myself and others.
To look after myself by doing some basic ritual-y things – like ummm cleaning, maybe even tackle a small portion of my messy-mad space!
To write blogg-y stuff but to feel comfortable writing once or twice a week and no more.
To make space for other things and not just writing my draft/dry run blogg-y stuff.
Thanks Havi, Selma, all!
My very personal ad:
What I want:
Loving, caring, quiet, single woman in her thirties with loving ,and VERY well-behaved dog looking for:
a sunny and warm space to rent with perfect, live-in work opportunity.
Or, in the perfect area with opportunity for me to find a fulfilling part-time job close by.
You: Provide a safe and cozy warm nest of a living space where I play and work with ease and joy. Open space = huge plus.
Me: Will keep the space clean, use environment-friendly cleaning products, help my already clean and well-behaved dog to remain clean and well-behaved and bring a peaceful and loving energy to the space.
I am able to work with animals as a loving caretaker, a home that needs watching/tending or the perfect person needing a highly organized and upbeat personal assistant.
Am open to a personal-growth-supporting, fun, creative job opportunity where my communication and organization skills are highly valued and my ability to work as a team-builder/supporter and/or self-disciplined independent worker is recognized and utilized.
I have experience with it all and have great references. Yay!
I also have my own business and work at home = truly a home-body.
I am open, willing and excited actually to relocate for the right opportunity.
Non-negotiable: windows to see nature and the weather, warm and sunny space, accepting of my loving (and did I mention well-behaved)dog companion
Deal breakers: any drama/ongoing loudness/unhealthy energetics, dark, windowless or deprived-of-sun spaces
How this could work with the greatest of ease:
The perfect, right person could read my very personal ad and be looking for someone exactly like ME.
The right person could read my very personal ad and know the perfect person to connect me with.
I could stumble over an ad written by the perfect person looking for someone like me.
I could happen to jabber on to the right person about what I am looking for and they could connect me to the
perfect person or ad that they stumbled across.
The right person could overhear me jabbering on to someone and connect me with the perfect person looking for someone like me.
What I am committed to:
Communicating what I need and want around this subject.
Being as patient as I can muster to be. And being kind to myself when I do not feel patient or don’t want to be patient.
Allowing myself to feel whatever I feel around this want and putting it out on Havi’s site for others to read.
Asking for support from my right people around my fear, doubt or lack of patience around this want.
Practicing trust (when I can), that it will all work out – and probably better than the way my one mind can imagine.
Thank you, Havi, for inspiring me to share and providing this space to share!
Hi Havi,
My very personal ad this week:
What I intend to do: To biggify my op-ed dreams by writing a column I will send into the New York Times within the next 3 weeks.
Why I intend to do it: Because I love to make myself “jump up” to emotional, mental, spiritual and physical places I’ve never been before. Keeps me in adventure-mode.
Thx
Giulietta, inspirational rebel
.-= giulietta nardoneĀ“s last post … Take charge of your own life! =-.
These are some great, great ads.
@Megan – wow. Beloved Lurker is way better when capitalized. I will do that from now on. It’s perfect!
@Kath – hi! And yeah, bring your tray on over. We’re not really the cool kids or anything. We hang out because we like each other. Anyone who gets it is completely, completely welcome. š
@Vanessa – ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh!
@Andi – the McConnell Center ask/mix-up is the best VPA story I’ve ever heard. That is brilliant. And yay, you. Maybe you’ll get to exhibit at both?
Waaah! PERSONAL ADS. I just thought of a few more and must go scribble them down.
Hi all! I’m glad to hear that so many Very Personal Ads are somehow getting magically answered.
I’ve got a big VPA in the works but I think it may have to wait until I get some more clarity on it.
In the meantime I wanted to write a little progress report, in case anyone is thinking of trying out this whole Very Personal Ad thing.
My first ever VPA was for a studio space, and I said I’d start making a serious effort to find one as soon as possible.
Well, two possibilities came up before I even started looking! I still cannot believe it. I had been “looking” for a space since this summer. So today I went to organize the space I’ve chosen and I can start working there as soon as tomorrow.
Moral of the story: if you’ve got a VPA brewing, go ahead and ask! š
Another Beloved Lurker decloaking to try a personal ad.
Thing 1: Permission from self to NOT have a THING.
Hereās what I want:
To stop feeling all the HAVE-TO, MUST, SHOULD energy brought on by thinking and by listening to others tell me that I have a THING that I ‘have-to, must, should’ DO…or the world will blow up or something.
Here’s how this could work:
Instead of thinking about this and driving myself insane with pressurem mostly from others telling me I need to start a business and make some money and be responsible, which gives me anxiety attacks and freak outs, I could relax into the idea that maybe my THING isn’t what other people have convinced me that it is…Or maybe that what they would do if they were me is different from what I want and would do if I were just me. And maybe my thing isn’t something that can be hammered into shape but comes instead with the purring of a kitty and watching the leaves blow in the wind. And maybe, just maybe, I don’t have a thing at all…which would be my new thing. Or, and I like this one, my thing is so stuckified by all this other stuff that it’s hiding and won’t come out till said leaves blow and said kitty purrs.
My commitment:
To try to stop forcing myself to do the THING…MY THING!…and just let it reveal itself if it wants to…or not.
Thing 2. To find ways to feel my creativity and joy again because all this stuck from number 1 has stifled and strangled those things. It’s hurting me.
I want more joy dammit!
Hereās how this could work:
I donāt know. Taking my site down and letting it sit there all blank till it feels like being unblank. Maybe relaxing into the things around me that DO inspire me and make me laugh? Let go of struggling with my thing and instead find ways to snuggle with it?
My commitment.
Yes, to breathe. To laugh. To have fun. To explore new avenues of expressing my ‘thing’ that doesn’t have a name, form, or shape and let it birth itself with a song and maybe a happy dance while it’s telling a bad joke and tripping over all this other stuff that’s in it’s way. To be open and responsive to all signals of joy, inner and outer.
Surely my thing is not supposed to be painful, right?
oh and…
To feel less like I am ummmm peeing in a public space when I write anything here…it feels that icky.
So to get better at not minding my many flaws flailing in the wind and to be seen to struggle…
And to send hugs to anyone else out there who feels they are just a little bit too much sometimes.
I know I aint alone.
Missed the chicken on friday- so first must catch up.
Big bit of hard and good:
Got to practice sovereignity big time when someone near and dear to me stomped on boundaries we had set up around when he could come visit over the holidays. I had to tell him that the plane tix he had purchased (!) without clearing with me wouldn’t work. Still not sure exactly what the full fall-out will be- but I know I can live with this better than I could live with the consequences of not standing up for the agreement we had made.
OK-
So on to VPAs. Update on last week: ask was for flow- mostly answered. I had 5 articles to write for my newspaper job, and getting the word out on my latests baby (a free teleclass) simply couldn’t wait. So I somehow did it all… Somehow involving too many late nights and not enough sleep- but it’s done.
So now my VPA is for the right number of right people to find my teleclass and sign up to come hang out for an hour on Thursday. I want a really cool group of moms who are sick of being overwhelmed by the holiday insanity and are ready to say enough dammit!
You are: a mom, overwhelmed by the holiday hoopla- or trying desperately not to become overwhelmed by the holiday hoopla. Looking for practical tools and a kind word or two of encouragement to help you feel good about what you’re doing, AND feel OK about deciding to drop things, delegate things, or otherwise make adjustments in the expectations that you or those around you have about what *should* happen in the next few weeks.
How this could happen: Newsletter subscribers could sign up, ditto my blog readers, moms could find me from here, twitter, other places I hang out. Moms I know could forward the info to their friends, etc.
My commitment: to cherish each and every one of these right people who shows up- and to share the tools that I use when I’m freaking out about everything I have to do.
To not get shy about telling people what I have to offer and asking for moms to spread the word.
Thanks in advance!
P.S. if you want more info, it’s here:http://dreamgardencoaching.com/december-teleclass/
.-= LizĀ“s last post … Do-Overs and High-Fives: Talk about Trimming the Tree! =-.
New over here – hello! A couple of things occupying my brain right now.
1. What I want: to locate my motivation again (it’s been kind of missing of late).
How this could happen: giving myself enough space could help me to work out what I really want to do (and maybe more importantly, what I don’t want to do). Looking after myself a bit better could help me find the energy for the things I do enjoy. Letting go of some of the to-do-list-tyranny could free me up to do my things as & when I’m inspired, not because they’re on the list. New and shiny motivational inspiration might just strike out of the blue!
My commitment: (I’ve kind of already decided this, but it’s good to go public š ) Stop putting dates on the to-do list, unless there is a real actual required deadline (e.g. I do need a weekly reminder to get my contracted column written on time). I’ll keep the list, because it saves me having to remember things in my head, but I’ll do things as I feel like doing them. And if I don’t feel like doing anything at all, then that’s fine too. I’m going to be nice to myself and see what I really *want*. (And I’ll re-evaluate after a couple of weeks to see how I’m getting on with this.)
2. What I want: people to read my blog. And maybe even to comment!
How this might happen: people might see it here and come on over to check it out. I might comment elsewhere in blogland and ditto. I could twitter my next post(s) and/or link to them from my personal blog.
My commitment: to link to the next few posts I make from *somewhere*, whether that’s twitter or my personal blog or whatever.
.-= JulietĀ“s last post … Letting go =-.
@Wulfie – I totally know how you feel about the Thing. I’ve been playing in the Fluent Self sandbox for a couple of years now (first the noozeletter and then the blog) and, even after taking several teleclasses and an in-person class, I’m still not sure exactly what my Thing is. But I know it has a LOT to do with me and the more I express my “me-ness”, and the more time I give myself to deal with the stuck, the more likely that my Thing will reveal itself. It might be stuck behind something else and I’m starting to feel that it’s peeking out from behind a wall, but I keep practicing and I know I will find it. The most important thing is to realize that we are all working on our stuff. We’re practicing and we can use this space to get helpful feedback from people who are also working on their stuff.
That said, my VPA for this week is this:
I need music!
First, I need funny, irreverent, completely inappropriate music to practice my Dance of Shiva to. I cannot listen to S.E.X.Y Robot every time I practice, but I’ve found my other musical choices seem to want their own space and not to be included in this crazy thing I’ve decided to spend time doing. I’m thinking maybe some of my old faves from the 80s and early 90s might work – synthesizer stuff seems to be good. I also would like some calming musics for the end of my practices.
Second, I need something to meditate to. I’ve tried downloading things like the “sound of the sea” and they just lose me. But I need something to play quietly, non-intrusively in my iPod while I meditate because the sounds of SF do NOT allow for quiet meditation.
How This Could Happen:
Someone could read this and send me songs or send suggestions to caseyearls@gmail.com. I could find new things in my massive music library – things I didn’t even realize were there. They could come to me in a dream.
My Commitment:
To continue to practice Shiva Nata, with or without music, until the Right Music comes along. To comb iTunes and the interwebs until I find the right music. To be open and accepting of kinds of music I wouldn’t usually listen to, because maybe that’s what’s needed here.
And welcome to the Beloved Lurkers!
.-= CaseyĀ“s last post … Daveās Top Ten Rules of Business =-.
*hums the sexy robot song* awesome
@Wulfie – oh, completely. Everything that Casey said. And full permission to not ever have to have a thing. Or even to want to have a thing. It’s fine, really.
And for me, personally (ignore this if it doesn’t help), my sense of what my own thing is? VERY abstract.
Like, it’s kind of a vague amalgamation of stuff I think about, care about and know about. And it’s constantly changing. I couldn’t define it if I had to (and it’s what I do for a living).
Either way, with thing or without a thing or with a ridiculously nebulous sense of something that might eventually turn into something that slightly resembles a thing … you get to do stuff your way.
And we will like you just as much without a thing. So anyone who says you *should* have a thing is full of it. š
@Nenah-Nina – anything you can come up with is welcome here, as always, sweetie.
@Juliet – Whooo! Going over to look at your blog right now!
@Casey – I used to really like Shiva-ing it up to the Buena Vista Social Club soundtrack. And also to Irish music, which also strikes me as fabulously inappropriate.
For meditation, I totally can’t do anything with nature sounds, they drive me BATTY. But quiet instrumental-ey can work. I’ll try to think if something comes up.
@Casey, Thanks! Oh and try Yanni, good meditation stuff there. Fun. One Man’s Dream is my favorite for meditating.
.-= WulfieĀ“s last post … Site Under Construction =-.
Wow – so exciting to read everyone’s updates on all their past ads that were answered!
My own update from last week:
I did, in fact experience a lot more zoooom and productivity than I have since quitting my job. Yay!
My ask for this week:
It’s very similar to what Hiro asked for. I’m really feeling the need for structures that support a rhythm in my business. I especially need to find some ways to have some pressure- and expectation-free creative pursuits.
Ways this could happen:
No idea. Just thinking about that is a little overwhelming.
My commitment:
To Shiva it up. To listen to what I need. To cut myself as much slack as I can stand.
.-= Victoria BrouhardĀ“s last post … It Starts with a Choice =-.
@Havi, ooo speaking directly to the Shiva Nata Goddess herself! (Yikes! and waves@Selma) Thank you, that really helped A LOT. Really.
.-= WulfieĀ“s last post … Site Under Construction =-.
I’m not in a good headspace right now. Hopefully, writing a VPA will help.
First, an update on last week: I asked for the energy to get my preliminary projects submitted to my adviser by last Wednesday. There were four, and I submitted three out of the four. (I’m working on the fourth today, and I’ll come to that in a minute.) Of the three I submitted, one is completely complete, one needs just a bit more work, and the third still needs a fair amount of work.
Today’s VPA is about the fourth project. My ask: to have something completed and ready to send to my adviser before tomorrow — ideally before midnight, but yeah, at the very least, before I have to leave for work tomorrow; I’ll settle for that.
How this can happen: I can keep moving slowly forwards, thought by thought, phrase by phrase. I can ask for, and receive, support from the people around me. (I already have a lot of cheerleaders; what I’m longing for now are some mommies, people to say, “Oh, sweetie, I know how hard this is for you! Huuuug! You are so brave!”) I can continue to tell the inner perfectionist that no, really, it’s okay to take a break, because right now completion (of an initial draft, at least) is more important that perfection.
My commitment: To stay with it, even though (surprise!) I am freaking out completely and so sick of these blasted projects after five years of chipping away at them, I can hardly stand it. I will take deep breaths. I will remember that once there were seven, and now there are three.
Wishing good things for everyone’s VPAs! Helper mice for all!
.-= Kathleen Avins @spiralsongkatĀ“s last post … That tiny thing with feathers, which is hope =-.
@Casey – would white noise be any use for meditating? I sometimes find the noises of London quite interesting to hear when meditating, and sometimes they’re totally intrusive and no good at all, so I know what you mean. A friend has had positive experiences with Richie Hawtin (aka Plastikman) although I find that a bit dark; in my early twenties I did not-exactly-meditation-stuff when listening to Spiritualized. Wildly inappropriate Shiva-ing music… dodgy early 90s rave? (Scooter spring to mind, who are entirely ridiculous.) That is a very random thought so may not work at all!
@Wulfie – good luck with feeling the creativity and the joy! That really resonates with me right now.
.-= JulietĀ“s last post … Letting go =-.
Thank you Havi!
Thank yooou!
xx
This is so fun!!
Update: Found the web designer from heaven and someone to do the coding on my worksheets. Heaven!!! All from here.
This weeks ask:
Barbara Sher has planted this little seed in my head that maybe I need a part time job for more financial ease in my life.
Here’s her language after I told her that my financial guy suggested that I “stop the bleeding and get a real job”:
“I always advise people to get a pleasantly mindless part time job to slow the bleeding down and still leave them enough time to pursue their dreams. It’s very calming”
So, there’s my ask – a pleasantly mindless part time job to slow the bleeding down and still leave them enough time to pursue their dreams.
Ways this could come to me:
-in my dreams
-through a suggestion from someone here or by emailing me at char@the-first-step.com
-from my kids
-through seeing a VPA here
-through the want ads that come my way
-some random person mentioning something that I overhear or someone else overhears
My commitment:
-figure out exactly what constitutes a “mindless part time job” in terms of hours, pay, what I’m willing to do, etc and spend some time writing about it
-ask others for ideas on this
-stay open minded throughout the process. Part of me says I just can’t do another thing – between the kids, household responsibilities, writing a book, getting one that’s virtually done out there with good professional support people, etc – but I think she’s right when she talks about creating more financial ease.
Thanks for listening.
Havi and others – you inspire me!!!
.-= charĀ“s last post … What do You Do When You Have No Idea What to Do? =-.
Forgot to add that Sing ho for systems! Systems, ho! made me smile. Tiddley-pom!
.-= Kathleen Avins @spiralsongkatĀ“s last post … That tiny thing with feathers, which is hope =-.
@Casey- have you checked out any of Fabeku’s yummy sound magic? Great for meditation and other forms of shifting stuff!
.-= LizĀ“s last post … Do-Overs and High-Fives: Talk about Trimming the Tree! =-.
It was a veeery long time since my last VPA (September!) but since the results from that one was spectacular (2 out of 3 asks granted!) it’s time for another go.
(A quick update on the last one: my right people is starting to find me – I went from 0 to 7 paying clients (seven!!!) in three months. Still waiting for a love life, but had a perfect meeting with my fellow coach.)
And now for the VPA, and this is quite a bit embarassing (my cheeks are blushing wildly…).
The what:
I want to go on Havi’s 2011 Asilomar destuckification retreat, when I will have the money (and time!) to take part in the lovely madness at the most beautiful place on earth.
The how:
The 2010 Asilomar retreat will be such a huge hit – and all things pertaining to the organization of it and all the interactions with the Asilomar staff will be totally effortless – that it becomes an annually recurring affair.
I will:
Do the asking (now done, blushing again!).
Visit the January 2010 Retreat in spirit every night. (Yes, very wooey, but I like wooey, dammit!)
Save up a stash from my coaching business and work on having even more of my Right People finding me during next year.
Ok, that’s done – wishing everyone’s VPAs a safe journey to the place of grantedness!
@Juliet: Had just written a post for your blog which then miraculously disappeared š I can really recommend Karen Kingston’s “Clear your clutter with Feng Shui” on the subject of de-cluttering your space outside and inside.
My VPA:
I want to be as clear and precise in today’s talk with my boss as I was in the talk with my other boss last week. Her reaction was very respectful, I am asking for a similarly reaction by him. I want to be immune against the shoes he may throw.
I want ideas about and options for a new job.
How this could happen:
Someone I know could offer me a job or I could see a job ad “that speaks to me”. Or I could just trust that someting will come up in January so that I can enjoy the remaining weeks of December without thinking about the job situation too much.
My committment:
I will work on keeping the sovereignty flame that I lit last week alive.
@Leocadia – thank you for the book recommendation & for stopping by there despite technical gremlins š Good luck with the boss-talk (& well done on the one you’ve already done well!).
.-= JulietĀ“s last post … Letting go =-.
Flutters just at the thought of asking…
Here goes:
what I want:
3 more fabulous people to join my yoga retreat at Haramara MX from Jan 9-16, 2010.
how this could happen:
folks from the studio who have been considering it could decide it’s for them;
someone could see it on the haramararetreat.com website;
friends of people already coming could want to come too;
someone could hear about it pretty much anywhere and want more info.
my commitment:
to answer questions about me or the retreat to the best of my ability, with honesty and glee, without expectation;
to put my wholehearted energy and time into prepping, planning and putting on this retreat;
to hold the space at the retreat for people to be exactly who/how they are so that Yoga can be known;
to appreciate all interest and all participants.
My first VPA – whew. Asking is HARD! Will report back next week.
Thank you!
@Michelle – Yay! And yeah, asking is totally hard. Completely.
By the way … I just went to your site to find out more about your retreat. And couldn’t find it anywhere. Not on the main page, not on the workshops page, not in the store … am I slow? Are you hiding it? Is there a way we can go find out more details? š
Going on a retreat with you is probably the best thing in the entire world, so I know there are people who want to know about it.
Music Suggestions:
The Six Parts Seven
Unwed Sailor
Both bands are in the itunes store so you can preview. Neither band is together anymore. booooo
Both are instrumental, non-traditional, on the ‘indy’ side of things. Check them out for when you need good thinking/feeling music!
@ Havi – oh my word… did someone say “destuckification”?
Ok, I put it on the main page now. No more hiding =)
Wow! Thanks everyone for the suggestions and emails!
I now have lots of new musics to try out and see what resonates (heh) with my space.
@Juliet – I don’t know if white noise would work. The basic sounds of the city don’t bother me as much as the hoots of drunken marina folk staggering by and the sirens that plague Polk Street.
@Liz – Oddly enough, I had already downloaded Fabekuās yummy sound magic, but never actually listened to it! Thanks for the reminder.
I can totally relate to everyone here who expressed how hard it is to ask…and to write a VPA!
I feel so good being a part of practicing with you all! Thank you.
@Marie “To the place of grantedness…” Love this.