Personal ads! They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my weekly ritual. Yay, ritual!
Let’s do it.
Thing 1: more love for my house.
Here’s what I want:
This past week I have been trying to spend more time with Hoppy House.
Because sometimes I just don’t feel really at home there. It’s not about the house so much as my own past screwed-up experiences. Either way, something that needs work.
So far I have started a morning ritual (thanks, Hiro) of visiting each corner in each room.
And I moved a bookcase into the kitchen, and have just been generally trying to make little shift-like things.
What I would like is more of that. And without doing complicated expensive renovation-ey things.
Ways this could work:
Some insights.
Some post-Dance-of-Shiva epiphanies.
I can buy flowers for the house. I can spend some time with my Scary Pile Of Things To Be Filed. I can have a sense of what comes next.
My commitment.
To be patient.
To give this time.
To remember that yes, actually there is time.
To ask for what I need. To go easy on myself as my memories of not being welcome come up.
Thing 2: That scary pile.
Here’s what I want:
To spend small chunks of time (ten to fifteen minutes) going through sections of the pile.
Here’s how I want this to work:
With grace and ease and patience.
My commitment.
I will go on a binder-acquiring outing with my gentleman friend.
And I will ask for help.
And I will use the Deguiltified Chicken Board from my Kitchen Table program.
Thing 3: To find ways to be even more of a connector-mouse.
Here’s what I want:
We did a Kitchen Table call this week that was basically just a big barnraising ideastorming money-generating party.
And the most exciting part for me was after the call, watching everyone hook up in the chat room to go off and plan bigness together.
The collaborative creative energy is just so intense. And this is what happens every time I teach something.
Even the Sacramento Biggification Day — it’s was just one day, and everyone there is completely committed to helping everyone else. Awesome.
Connections everywhere and I get to be the connector-mouse.
It’s like kind of like I’m running an entrepreneurial swingers club for creative people who are also really funny, except you know, something that sounds better than that.
And yes, that entire sentence should totally be my new tagline.
Anyway. I want more of this.
Ways this could work:
Since it happens anyway in everything I do, maybe I don’t have to work too hard on this.
But maybe I can also build it in to Biggification 2010 and this year’s retreats and seminars in a more conscious way.
I could do some scribbling on this. Or talk it over with my Kitchen Table-ers.
My commitment.
To be open to ideas.
To do Shiva Nata on it.
To let myself be playful with this. And to let it happen with ease and flow, instead of becoming a massive stressful “should” situation. Because that would suck.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted to walk more. And that’s been a little rough, actually.
Stupid Portland is grey and cold and is now dark at all the times I usually like to walk. And things were crazy busy this week.
On the other hand, my gentleman friend was very good at dragging me out for some fresh air. And we did a lot of tramping around the neighborhood.
So: walking. Doing it. Wanting even more. Getting there.
I also wanted to fill the two new openings at the Destuckification Retreat, and there’s now a waiting list.
And I asked for patience. Lots and lots of patience. And I have to say — this completely surprises me, but yes. There was much more patience in this week than in last week.
Much more spaciousness. And I appreciate that.
Comments. Since I’m already asking …
I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about what I would like to receive in the comments.
Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
What I would rather not have:
- Reality theories.
- Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
- To be judged or psychoanalyzed.
My commitment.
I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird.
Thanks for doing this with me!
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Havi, I love your “entrepreneurial swingers club for creative people who are also really funny”…sounds a bit like your blog too! 🙂
Reporting on past VPA’s: I asked for ease, spaciousness and flow, and this week has been easy. Breathing room, room to stretch, time and space just to be, in the midst of all the doing. 🙂
My VPA for this week:
To finish writing the program outline for my January teleclass series. To create a structure that provides safety, support, and a strong foundation for growth and learning, yet flexible enough to remain spontaneous and responsive to my students’ evolving needs.
My commitment: To spend time each day immersing myself in the teaching materials, connecting with my own soul, the soul of the group and the unfolding presence that contains and holds us, and to write from this place of inner resonance and trust.
Wishing you all ease and grace in your own Very Personal Ads.
Love, Hiro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Sunday Poem #14: Buddhist Chronicles 4 =-.
I want less frustration than I had last week. I am going to give myself permission not the get stressed out when something unexpected comes up and I have to deal with it there and then. I am going to remember that my ‘to do’ list is a guide, not a tool to beat myself with. (Hmm…sounds a little dodgier than I intended.) If I find myself in a frustrating situation I’m not going to wait until I’m at snapping point to do something about it.
I want to start finding paying writing jobs. I am going to believe that I can do it, and realise that my negative thoughts (argh, don’t do that, you’ll make a fool of yourself, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!!) are just my way of protecting myself. I am going to, you know, actually write, cos I’ve heard that helps with the whole ‘being a writer’ thing.
.-= Jane´s last post … Snow + Beach =-.
I want:
–to give myself permission to enjoy the open windows in this next week and not beat myself up about all the business-building things I should be doing.
–to find ease in the increased writing I am doing
My commitment:
–persisting in my ShivaNata and using it as a place to work through this
–to start writing on my laptop in more inspiring places than just my office (which is good but feels like ‘work’)
.-= Pearl Mattenson´s last post … 12.21.09 =-.
@Pearl – enjoying the open windows sounds so perfect. I want too.
Ease and grace to Jane and Hiro too. I love it.
hi havi. first time commenter here and after i post this i am heading over to your store to get the dancing dvd thingie. after a few weeks of thinking about it (i am a minimalist, i have to mull over purchases), i figure this purchase could be one of the best moves i make for myself this year. so…very personal ads.
ya know how sometimes one can get so confused and disconnected i don’t even know what to ask for? that’s me. i have a nice life. things are good….but…but…but…but…something is missing. oh i know what it is! i don’t know what i want to do with my life! i am looking for my passion. here is my ad:
i ask for clarity on my life’s passion. i desire an epiphany of focus, a guide to forward motion that results in days filled with energy and aliveness and contribution and community. i want to destuck and flow into my full self.
xo
@Pearl You’ve said what I want more elegantly than I ever could have.
In addition, my VPA’s are:
Clients. Not just clients though. Real long term right people clients who want to be a partnership and really work together and grow their business in a natural and ethical way. Please, let me find you.
Exercise. This business is taking away all my time to exercise and I miss it dearly and I want it back in my life. But I don’t have the two hours to spare that I used to for it.
Commitments:
Do the scary thing and email some people/companies I’d really love to work with: you never know unless you ask, I guess.
Try out Shiva Nata-I hear it works wonders for your health and sanity from everyone, and I could use an exercisy way to brainstorm that didn’t involve tromping around in the 15 degree weather.
Love and luck to you all with your challenges and VPA’s.
.-= Holly´s last post … Day One: Ghostwriting =-.
Since we’re getting all personal here, I’d like to find one or two more people in my local area (Berkeley) who are serious about being part of a mastermind group, and can take accountability seriously.
That and some help going through a really scary pile… mostly filling a spare room!
.-= Dave Doolin´s last post … 7 Tips for Producing Snackable, Factual Content =-.
It’s funny, but I’ve received everything I’ve asked for in VPA’s and then promptly stopped asking. Duh! 🙂
In a way, what I want is a bit intangible. It’s not a thing really, but a feeling. I want to feel ease and flow in my everyday life, through the holidays and through 2010. I’d like things that I’ve been desiring to come to me with ease and for my everyday life to have a sense of flow that is effortless and joyful and fun. I’d like to release this anxiety that’s been following me around like a wild puppy dog and feel some clarity around what’s next.
*oh* and I just noticed you mention ease and flow in your commitment! synchronicity! flow! yay!
my commitment: to keep moving my body, to be open to listening.
.-= leah´s last post … Creative Every Day Challenge Check-In: December 21 – 27 =-.
hello havi!
being relatively new to all of this and just discovering you and excited about it all unable to tear myself away from the computer even when I’m sooooo tired, I want:
permission from my self to go to sleep earlier and have a nice loooong sleep
self compassion when I’m comparing myself to everyone else
(particularly un-believably cool ladies)
and what was the last one?
dunno
action related plan: translate into Hebrew my latest blog post and yes, I would love to send you my “Bird of the Same Feather”….that’s what I’m calling her now, you’ll see what I mean on my blog!
best wishes for a great holiday
Shockingly, as long as I’ve been hanging out on this blog, I’ve never done a VPA! :O
I need one now.
What I need:
I want to create blog content and at least two email courses by the end of the year. I have the topics but I need to carve out the time AND be inspired.
Ways this could work:
I can get off the internet for larger chunks of the day to focus.
I can write things out long hand and thus stay off the computer entirely.
I give myself permission to ask for help with the kids so I can use that time.
My commitment:
I can keep ‘showing up’ to write and be okay even if I’m not productive every single time I sit.
I can recognize that inspiration isn’t the end-all-be-all of writing and just get some words on paper.
<3
.-= Amy´s last post … AmySeyBrown: @rjleaman I was going to start writing first thing this morning but this meltdown of mine has put a serious cramp in productivity, haha. =-.
Dear Universal Santa,
This year I would like good news about my little Dora-kitty’s health. She had another round of blood tests today and I’d really like confirmation that she’s getting better.
Model stitchers. People who enjoy cross stitch, motif samplers and band samplers and who would just LOVE to stitch my designs, which are backing up because I design much faster than I stitch.
Customers (Wait. I think I’m supposed to do something before they come to me… like maybe actually getting more of those patterns up? Pricing the printed paper patterns and putting them online? OK, that one can wait a week or two, although the chatelaines/flash drive lanyards on Etsy could sell now and I’d be happy!)
Ways these could happen:
Dora-cat’s tests could come back way improved. Or at least with an idea of what’s wrong so we can fix it. A miracle could happen.
Someone who stitches could read this and email me about model-stitching. Someone could answer my plea on facebook or on my blog.
Customers – Well, I can stop making life so complicated for myself and just do it. I can shivanata it up for some epiphanies on WHY I’m making it so difficult to move ahead. I can work on systems.
I can continue to work on ease and flow in my life, and in feeling more comfortable in MY ToadHall, which I didn’t actually realize was part of the problem until I read this post, Havi. Thank you for yet more insights! Say hello to Selma for me. How does she like having an assistant?
.-= Romilly´s last post … Universe is hitting me again! Help! =-.
I would like to put in a personal ad for some patience, please. A way to let go of this feeling that I need to have all this stuff done by this exact date, or my whole business will collapse like a house of cards.
Because I suspect that’s not true 🙂
I will try to work more flexibility into my to-do list. I will stop in the middle of the day when necessary. I will try to focus less on two years from now and more on today.
Ah, the scary pile, yes. Mine is calling me bad names from the corner of the room.
So, a simple VPA:
To remember that the scary pile is always worse at this time of the year–and to have faith that once Christmas is over, I really and truly will have the time and the patience and energy to deal with it.
I admit… I too am a member of the scary pile club (anyone who doesn’t have one: I’m sensing there’s a business opportunity here!)
This week I want to ask for something else though. I would like some strength, please. Not the physical kind (although that would be nice too). I need more emotional strength to deal with four people who are pushing my buttons right now in four different ways. And strangely enough, it has nothing to do with the holidays – it’s more of an ongoing thing.
How this could work: I really am not sure. I could try being observant of my own reactions but I’m new to that game and boy, it is not easy. I have had some insights about these particular buttons recently but it feels like I’ve got a long way to go.
My commitment: I will practice going slowly. I will remember not to beat myself up if I notice I’m falling into old patterns. I will allow myself to step out for a long walk. And I’ll try to have faith that eventually I can learn not to be so bothered by things.
Wishing you all magical answers to your VPAs!
Here’s what I want: Boundaries with men. Too often I let them dictate how an encounter should go without consulting with my sovereignty and my comfort zone and end up feeling uncomfortable and unhappy with myself.
Ways this could work:
Magic.
I could give myself gentle reminders that I should check in with myself before I get into a situation.
Yoga or something causing some shift in perspective.
Other marvelous ideas could find me on their own.
My commitment:
To find some kernel of patience with myself.
To remember this is just something I’m working on and try to stop coming down on myself so hard when I don’t live up to my own expectations.
To try to remember that I do not have to embody every man’s fantasy. That I can perhaps just be myself, however scary that is.
I repeat, to remind myself this is just something I’m working on. This pattern was not built in a day.
Funny, I’m a bit restless in my house as well. Or maybe it’s just me being restless and it manifests in tinkering around at home. Anyway. I was sanding and painting in the back part of the living room and therefore my couch was temporarily in the front part, completely in the way of the major circulation paths in the house. Still, it felt like a much better spot for it. So I might change the furniture around soonish, or just hang out on the couch in its original spot some more.
No VPA for me this week, I’m hanging out in some kind of weird limbo for a while, not wanting or shoulding anything, just messing around in the house and watching life in the snow go by through my windows. I will be happy in limbo for a few days more and I trust I will come out of it when the time is right.
Sleep. I want SLEEP, dammit. Specifically, I want the Feaster to sleep. He’s two, and his bedtime is fundamentally broken, and I’m out of ideas. (The Oyster is five, and things are a little better there, though they could also stand to improve.)
What I want
1. An improvement in the current bedtime procedure, for both boys. By this I mean that they are in bed by 8:30pm, with minimal conflict (take tonight as an example: the Oyster went up fairly happily at 9:10; the Feaster is still downstairs and playing happily at 10:45). I’d settle for a mild improvement to start with, although I eventually want it to be smooth and consistently allow me to have a decent stretch of evening before I need to think about bed myself.
2. An improvement in night-time sleep. At the moment the Feaster has a nasty cold and is sleeping in stretches of less than two hours. I have the cold too, and at least waking every couple of hours means I get to moisten my mouth, rather than sleeping all night with it open. (This, I must stress, is a small comfort.)
How it could happen
* Some kind of insight could present itself that would make it possible to unravel the unbearable pattern our household has got into (yes, I feel it’s a household issue).
* They could just naturally settle into a healthier rhythm (hey, stranger things have happened).
* I dunno, drugs?
What I do not want
The Cry It Out method. I’m not up for that.
My commitment
1. If something produces improvements, I will stick with it.
2. I will try new ideas.
3. I will do my best not to blame the boys, because that doesn’t help.
4. I will survive. Probably.
.-= Lean Ni Chuilleanain (@leannich)´s last post … Spring Two Steps Forward, One Step Back =-.
What I want:
knowing what is important and being content with progress towards that.
Ways this could work:
I will tap into your sense of time and spaciousness. (What a relief when you wrote “there is time!”)
Giving what I want to get. Luckily, my gentleman friend appreciates my spewing of appreciation, whereas I am sure there are lots of people who find it hokey.
Seeking completeness (imperfect though it is) only when a taks of the highest priority requires it.
optimism, peace and gratefulness — at home and at work
If I don’t cross the t’s and dot the i’s by holiday time, be OK with seeing all that I have done this year! (The glass is completely full: half full of water and half full of air!!)
A melting away of the strange rebellious monster that is triggered by my alarm clock.
My commitment:
For these three seemingly all-crucial days, do one important thing at work and one important thing at home, no matter how long it takes! Home assignment: my personal mission statement (to be written before I get sucked into my parents’ world).
I want to thank everyone for sharing – I feel supported to share my own VPA. (still nervous tho)
First, a quick update from last week’s (my very first) VPA:
I received generous and thoughtful connections and ideas about my asking for a happy, live-in work opportunity. I am deeply touched.
Looks like I will be moving soon due to another GREAT connection – still processing this truth. So…onto my ad for this week…
What I want:
2 things:
1. The perfect 2nd job – only 30 or so hours per week that allows me freedom to use my creativity to help animals and/or people. With a wage that compensates all that I have to share. By people who see ME and appreciate me.
2. A wonderful man – a fun, gentle, creative, loving, spiritual, very supportive, animal & nature lover, content, generous, think-outside-the-box, independent, responsible for his own stuff, handsome, sexy man. Can be geeky too. To share my life with. And to share Starr’s (my pup) life with. Also…someone who loves to travel but also loves to be at home and maybe cook, too.
Ways this could work:
1. Magic
2. Connection here on Havi’s site
3. Not sure but am open
My commitment:
1. To practice being OK with having put this out there. (scary – especially the wonderful man part)
2. To try to keep a visual of what I am asking for here.
3. To try my best to be patient.
@Samantha: Your ad could be mine, you found the exact words I have been looking for 🙂
Heyyy
What I want
To find a place within that allows me to step out of the inevitable and tiresome conflict that is bound to come up at Christmas with the relatives.
To give myself permission to be in my sovereignity.
To remember that I have some more protection because of my love.
To PAUSE before I react at Christmas. In fact it would be soo amazing if the NVC fairy would come and sit on my shoulder and help me out!
HOW WOULD THIS WORK THEN SWEETIE?
I could create a physical trigger so that i remind myself to breathe, to pause, to analyse. I could think this woman needs to feel listened to. It doesn’t matter that you don’t agree. It will help a little if I listen.
And when/if I start to feel suffocated to see if there are any ways of maintaining my sovereignity and right to be myself! Haaa! Oh boyyyy. Trepidation/dread.
To feel less itchy about my writing work, my life. I don’t feel bad exactly just irritable and grumpy. Less zing and more flat.
HOW MIGHT THIS WORK?
I don’t really know how. Probably more tlc and just allowing myself to be antsy for a bit so that I can understand why I’m so gripey this week and how to comfort myself, or ask for what I need.
I would love to have six months of financial flow or more! I would like to trust that I have the goodies to make this happen. I do, even if I don’t know it yet! Durrrrghhhhhh!
How might this happen?
Oh goodness. Maybe look in a totally different field for part time work, like eyuuuu catering? And keep being open to other wonderful and more possibilities that actually reflect me! Like I could apply for work at a record station and get it and love it and still have time to pursue my other creative venturings and biz thing.
Or I’d love to have an ephiphany of course about this, or invite my dreaming, play-making state to find the answers/solutions that may have aluded me
I’d like to feel inspired again. I’m flagging.
To move further on with my flat and its mess, unfinished jobs. Closure around stuff that has gone before and a sense of new things, hope, arriving in my personal space would be great. Stability, space, flow n ease, beauty, magical stuff. That’s what i want for my flat and me in it!
I’d like to feel less frustrated, guilty, angry and lost about friend’s who become so ill and consistently fail to grab the genuinely good support that can be accessed out there. I would like to get to know my triggers around this. I know it’s Dad stuff, Mum stuff, other people stuck and doing-nothing-forever stuff coming up. Bt I suspect there’s more awareness and attention needed so that I can be a friend who is better able to trust that my ill friends are doing exactly what they need to do right now and that I do not have to be drawn into their need or fantasy that I will rescue them. Patience and clarity and lots of kindness. I don’t know how this might work. I’d just like it to! Paaa!
Dearie me.
A funny VPA.
Thanks and hugs all round.
x
I want to finish knitting my last Christmas sock, sew an apron for my sister and make my kids a puppet theatre. And I do not want to stay up until 3am in order to make it happen.
How might this happen?
My sewing machine needs to play nicely with me and not have a hissy fit. Also, my children need to go to bed at a reasonable hour so that I have time to myself with two free hands. We also need to have time as a family to do family stuff and meet our basic needs.
My commitment
I will be proactive and find as much crafting time as I can manage. I will not spend my time doing other things and then wondering why the work isn’t getting done. And I will not swear at my husband who is just trying to be helpful.
.-= Amber´s last post … (In)Adequate Supervision =-.
Entrepreneurial swingers club, hell yes!
My VPA: I need some freakin space.
Although I really have been getting things done – and not little things, either – I keep thinking that I’m way behind. I feel rushed and confused and exhausted. My room has piles of laundry and papers. I haven’t been meditating, Shiva-ing, walking, or doing self-talk that helps me get space. And the sucky thing is that now I’m on a roll I’m really resistant to doing those things and I just want to keep pushing and rushing and beating myself up when the results are suboptimal.
I would like this pattern to wind on down now, so I can get some space and some grounding.
Ways this could work:
-I could brain-dump all the stuff I “have to” do (or collate some recent brain-dumps) and organize it neatly and then put it away.
-And tidy my room, in a conscious and gentle way.
-I could declare a Day of Extreme Self Care.
-I could spend more time with my dog.
-And playing the piano. Which my dog loves.
-I could make more use of Heidi’s Ease, Please cream. And the other things I’ve collected for this very purpose, like Havi’s emergency calming and Hiro’s grounding ritual.
-Or maybe I don’t need to do anything, and I’ll simply start noticing I need more space and taking it.
-Christmas stuff and my brother visiting could make it easy to stop working and enjoy just hanging out.
My commitment:
Try to meet myself where I am.
Celebrate and pat myself on the back when I take good care of myself.
An update from weeks ago: I asked for some photos from years ago that only 2 people can really give me. I’d asked each of them before this more than once but never had any luck; 1 had never replied at all. Weeks ago, I sent each an impassioned request with some unexpected vulnerability cropping up. Yesterday, I finally got a reply from the guy who’d never answered before. He’s out of town for the holidays but said he’d look when he gets home. Of course, follow through hasn’t been his strong suit, but still, yea!
This week:
1. I’d like this mother-frakkin’ cold to be DONE.
how: rest, healthy food & drink choices. Going to bed earlier. Cookies are good for you, right?
commitment: patience! Listening to my body’s cues to avoid overdoing it & therefore setting myself back.
2. put more photos online.
how: prioritize it and find the time. Elves? Cuz that would be awesome. sigh.
commitment: also patience. I’ll get done what I can get done at my current energy level. I’ll cut myself some slack with the “should haves”.
.-= claire´s last post … Solstice =-.
Sigh. Here’s what I want: More peace in my house, specifically between the teenager and the preteen.
Ways this could work: I have no clue at this point. They have to do it themselves, I think, because no matter how calm I remain, they still fight and say nasty things to each other.
My commitment: To continue loving them. To continue staying calm, and supporting myself by doing the things that help me stay calm. To try to believe that more peace is possible, even though some days I feel really pessimistic about that.
.-= Mrs. Ditter´s last post … Not That You Asked: Advent Musings 2009 =-.
Here’s what I want:
To feel Christmas as a season of peace, love, and joy. To remember how much I adored Christmas as a kid and give my kids some of that magic. To shoo the angry wildebeast away.
How this could work:
Of course, it’s tempting to say that it depends on other people’s behavior, but that’s never. ever. how it works, is it? Which I guess is to say that I need to own my own behavior, remove myself when it all gets to be too much, and find things to be joyful about.
My commitment:
To sing Christmas carols. Loudly.
To stock my bedroom with lovely magazines for escape time.
To dance with my sons.
This’ll be a two-part comment. One: questions for Havi. Two: my first personal ad.
1]Questions for Havi:
Two things come to mind with the restlessness that itches away between you and Hoppy House.
a) Have you consulted a Feng Shui dude? I wondered this as Hiro advised you to visit Hoppy House corners. I don’t know how your space or energy flow is, but that could affect the ease you feel within your own house.
b) Have you considered the house’s name? It might not be right. For the house.
Personally, I’d examine the Feng Shui of the house before I go about changing names. But if, when you visit the corners, a different name comes to you, perhaps it might be worth exploring.
OK. Just thinking out loud, so to type. Done with that.
2]Personal ad:
I’ve got a scary pile, too, dealing with the estate of my father with whom I did not get along very well. I’ve dealt with the good and the hard enough over the past year for, well, a year of Friday Chickens, but there’s that one last pile that repels me, even if it’s to stuff it into a plastic container, shove it into the garage, and forget about it.
What I want:
To summon the courage and decision-making skills to figure out What Must Be Done with the paperwork in the pile.
How this could work:
I get a new filing cabinet.
I get a plastic container for the stuff, and put it in the garage.
I make a clear, conscious determination of What Must Be Done with each manila-enveloped piece of paper, and follow through.
My commitment:
To move the scary pile back to the work table.
To set a timestamp for the end of the year.
To get someone to sit with me as I go through. For encouragement, for advice.
All good stuff. Paul, I particularly appreciated your comments about looking at Feng Shui and the house name. I’m in a place I feel very uncomfortable in right now, and want to move out of it as soon as possible, but I can’t afford it right this moment. Which brings me to my VPA:
What I want:
A few new clients who really are my Right People, who will talk about my work to the people around them, thus sending me more and more clients. So that I can finally afford to live in a real appartment that feels like a home.
How this could happen:
1.I will contact some of my Right People who have finished their series with me, and ask them to talk about me and my work to their friends, because they were so great to work with that I’m sure their friends will be too.
2.I will write stuff for my website, a clear explanation of my work, how I work, and who my right people are, so that my brother can put an actual website online in the first week of January.
3.Over the next 2 weeks, I will make contact with at least 3 people I don’t know very well (or at all) that I think might be my Right People, or act as connectors to my Right People, and tell them about my work.
My commitment:
I will give amazing sessions to everyone who comes in to see me. I will help them change their body about their minds. I will meet myself gently with all the procrastination stuff that will inevitably come up about doing what I have chosen to do. I will open myself to all the wonderful stuff that might happen if I let it.
I’m tempted to call this a wanna-ask instead of a full-fledged ask, because I have such turmoil around this area, but here goed:
I am asking for a safe, sane and serene relationship with money.
How this could work: Well, I could get a windfall, but in a way, that’s already happening; my income has recently increased. I can keep Shiva dancing, because there are absolutely patterns to shake loose here.
My commitment: I…I don’t know how to say it…the best I can say is, I will carry a big flashlight and shine it in the dark places. Metaphor to the rescue.
The holiday stuff is getting to me. We’ve not had a traditional holiday in any sense of the word since we’ve been married. We’re not going to have one this year either. And yet… (Naomi wrote the perfect piece on this, this hope that maybe this year there will be those keys to a red 1966 Mustang under the tree)
I thought I was over it. Obviously I’m still practicing 🙂
So what I want:
To not want gifts. To not have the tiniest bit of hope that maybe just maybe one time my parents will decide to celebrate a winter holiday and send us gifts, or that DH has been saving his pennies and is going to the CoinStar to cash them in and surprise me.
How this could happen:
Divine intervention? Turning off the tv and avoiding anywhere with holiday decor? Cleaning the studio and seeing how much I already have? Stepping up to the plate and truly marketing my work so that I can buy my own gifts, dammit?
Which really sounds like a Debbie Downer of a want, but I don’t know what else to do. I love to give gifts, and I know on some level I’ve been guilty of over-giving in many ways (not just holiday and birthday gifts) and expecting something in return, if even on the karmic level. My mom always says “I just go buy what I want” but sometimes that little kid in me wants to know that someone else cared enough to send the hairy beast.
.-= Andi´s last post … What It Kind of Looks Like Outside Right Now =-.