Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Has it been a week? Seriously?
I’m confused.
Oh, well. Let’s go.
The hard stuff
Ow. My arms. Still.
We’ve been making pretty solid recovery. Or at least giant steps in that direction.
But you know what? I am so over not being able to do things.
Everything takes a thousand times longer. I get impatient. I get frustrated. I am not fun to be around.
People saying, “Have you tried …?”.
Yes, I have.
Or, I would, but it comes in a container that involves twisting the cap and I can’t twist caps so I can only take it when someone opens it for me.
Or no, I’m already on six dozen other treatments.
And I have two acupuncturists, a massage therapist, and three healers working on me, in addition to all the deep emotional healing work I’m doing on my own.
I know everyone really wants to help. Which is generous and kind and beautiful. And makes it even worse, because then I feel bad for not feeling grateful. But I really, really wish that people would say, “Wow. You have no hands. That must be really challenging for you.”
And then leave it at that.
Writing is my entire day.
Talking a post out with Stu (my voice-to-text software) or dictating it to my brother or my gentleman friend takes at least twice as long as typing one.
My personal stuff about time and needing more of it, or needing to use it more efficiently … buttons being pushed here left and right.
Haven’t solved this one yet, but something’s got to give.
Really soon.
I had to go to the mall.
Blech.
And there was no way out of it.
Nothing like forty-five minutes of soul-sucking empty-minded trapped-in-a-windowless-hell to trigger my most claustrophobic misanthropic semi-deranged mental ramblings.
*shudders*
The good stuff
Meeting! People! In real life!
One of my wonderful At The Kitchen Table With Havi & Selma members was in Portland for a thing and — very enterprisingly — set up a dinner with some of the folks who are local.
And oh wow! Somehow I hadn’t realized that we had a pretty decent chunk of Table people right here.
Or that I’d never actually met any of them except for one.
So Selma and I went to dinner with all these people and each one was as lovely in person as online.
And there was macaroni and cheese, which makes me happy. And I baked. There’s even a picture.
My arms. They are improving.
Despite all of my complaining, the moaning-in-agony part of my hurting-healing arms is actually over.
Because I made a salad this week! My arms worked well enough to make a salad!
Well, not a whole one. I got almost to the end and then I had to stop. But chopping happened. And slicing.
Considering that two weeks ago I could barely brush my teeth without yelping in pain, huge huge huge change for the better.
Hiro. I love that woman.
One of the people who has been doing magic on my arms is Hiro Boga, who is also one of my Group Leaders at the Kitchen Table.
And it’s been phenomenal. I am convinced that I am going to come out of this pain with so many new skills, insights, understandings and wacky magic powers that I won’t even know what to do with them.
But I’m ready to find out.
And Hiro is doing an incredible job of facilitating this whole healing thing. I cannot recommend her work highly enough.
Lots of calls.
My duck and I taught a class this week on the basic self-work principles that I think everyone should know but actually they don’t. And it was hot.
Then I interviewed Naomi about money and strategizing and coming up with a work-able vision for your business. And that was hot.
Then Molly Gordon interviewed me (and Selma, who didn’t say anything) about dissolving procrastination and general destuckification. And that was hot too. Molly is so great!
So I kind of feel as though I spent the whole week on the phone. Which normally is not my thing, but it was just so much fun.
It still amazes me how much useful information is out there and how many smart people I know.
My favorite uncle!
Came to visit. Actually, he sent an email saying “Arriving by Iron Horse” and we walked to the train station to pick him up and find out what his plans were.
And since he never has a plan — which I adore — we had adventures.
I should say “our” favorite uncle, since my brother feels exactly the same way, and my gentleman friend loves him too. So a dose of Svevo is good for everyone.
We went on long walks. And did yoga together. And talked about the value of not doing (he is my role model in every way).
It’s so great to have someone in the family (aside from my brother) who I can sit with and think, “Yes, it actually does make sense that we’re related.”
I love him so much! Especially for modeling what and who I want to be when I grow up.
And … STUISMS of the week.
Stu is my paranoid McCarthy-ist voice-to-text software who takes pleasure in misunderstanding me.
Some of the gems from this week:
- “ex-Journal of cleaning” instead of external clearing.
- “how to snack helpfully” instead of how to snack healthily.
- “that’s the turf in question” for that’s a terrific question
There are more, of course, but I can’t find them. Though my gentleman friend — in a Stu-ish moment — did call me an unpredictable wench. A huge improvement on Boldy McSchmoldy which was what he called me last week.
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.
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“How to snack helpfully” made me snort my Pepsi Max. Stu owes me a keyboard.
I am so glad your arms are improving! I remember the agony of not being able to write (and this before voice recognition software achieved the heights of Stu).
Good stuff for me:
– I’m involved in a major business writing project for a company in Chicago. I’m covering the Twitter angle. Press coverage, big deal, yada yada.
– Leading a group of students discussing the mind in entrepreneurship, which I’ve just come back from. Hilarious, wonderful students. Lots of good stuff.
– The video of my leadership talk to the Enterprise Society was posted! And out of that, I’ve had so far a few people come to me saying they have made life-changing decisions. This is lovely stuff.
– FINALLY wrote a personal ad for what I really want. This is good. Not yet got it on the blog.
– Had a moment of amazing compassion and clarity with a client this week. And I feel so connected, so much in love with the world. *Sigh* I’m the world’s first vodka-swilling, high-heels wearing, pepsi-Max-addled sword-fighting tree-hugger. Go me. Oh yeah, and the Booda (as I like to call him) rocks.
– Writing essay length emails to fans who have The Most Detailed Questions Ever about Amnar.
Hard stuff
– My mind is a crazy not so happy place with all of this good stuff.
– It’s the end of a long month of emotional and spiritual transformation and I need a lie down.
That’s all! Mini essay over and I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
J xx
Joely Blacks last blog post..This whole acceptance thing is harder than it looks
Good week! mixed with some bad stuff that is actually good.
Monday realized just how much I need to remember to eat when I had a recurrence of some heart funkiness (I have a weird cardiac condition). I’m okay, I just need to remember to eat! (That’s the bad stuff.)
Made it through the entire week ON SCHEDULE for my serial–two chapters and a bonus story–after two months of adjusting to a new psych med. Finally, the brain fog is lifting. Made some new ads that are actually pulling. (That’s the good stuff!)
The good stuff:
My alpha child just got her acceptance letter from oberlin.edu.
The hard stuff:
Who cares?
Mark W. “Extra Crispy” Schumanns last blog post..MarkWSchumann: @JeffSchuler What, you’re buying a house? Kewl.
It’s contagious! I’ve had a bad carpal tunnel flareup myself this week. Is there any one treatment that you think has helped your symptoms the best thus far? Glad your class was hot ๐
carma
carmas last blog post..A Carma Sez Primer
Yay for meeting people in real life and spending some time with your favourite uncle! Also, I love the stuisms!
Good: after three weeks of practicing Shiva Nata every day, I’ve finally felt a little something happening yesterday. It wasn’t much, but at least it means I may be on the way to finding the right level of challenge in my practice (or maybe it was because I had decided to do a second session in a day). A bit of progress has been done on one of my stucknesses. Also, I think there are a few good things coming in the near-ish future, and that feels nice.
Hard: not much, really, except maybe realising how much destuckification I need to do. But it’s ok, that’s where I am right now, and it’s temporary. ๐ (It seems that spending a lot of time with you through reading your archives has resulted in me picking up a few things!)
Definitely glad to hear your arms are improving.
My week?
The Hard:
Two-and-a-half days of depression/self-doubt paralysis in which I got nothing done and panicked about getting nothing done.
The Good:
Decent sales days at the day job.
Learning more about Twitter and how I may want to use it.
Writing a long letter to my paralyzing fear of failure. Haven’t taken action beyond writing the letter yet, but even doing that felt like a positive step. Of course, the decision to write the letter was directly impacted by your process of working things through, Havi, so thanks.
And, as always, thanks for the space.
Faiths last blog post..Open Letter to Fear
Good: yoga is still happening. Knitting is also happening. It has been sunny if not always warm.
Hard: figuring out exactly what the heck I should be doing each day
BTW, my sister who also finds malls over stimulating (different issues but the noise and the flourescent lights literally make her crazy) says that wearing her iPod and listening to her own music helps a lot. She can tune out a lot of the excess stimulation that way and get done what she needs to get done. Not sure if you’ve already tried that but I thought I’d throw that out there just in case.
Glad the hurting is getting less. Making salad is a good thing.
JoVEs last blog post..What is a doctoral candidate to do?
The good:
After googling and reading about it, Yoga Nidra sounds like something that does NOT sent me screaming over the hills. I’ve done meditation and hatha-yoga before (self-tought and with a teacher) and that Yoga Nidra to be a step into a the right direction.
Can you imagine that I’ve NEVER heard about it before? Somehow I managed to pick up the yoga books that never mentioned it by name.
So again, thank you.
The hard:
Paypal is being meany pants and I’ve got no credit card. ๐
Carina Kadows last blog post..Lessons learned in the gym
geez, havi. sorry about your arms. that sucks. gives me a little perspective on my own amazing lack of pain and can’t-do-it-ness, though. glad you’ve got your uncle in town. that sounds like fun.
peace in chaos!
chas
chass last blog post..friday afternoon update! 23: the auspicious numbers edition
“The turf in question” *snort* That’s excellent.
The bad: Still no work for husband, but he’s doing amazing things with finding opportunities. It’s the waiting to see what comes of it that’s hard.
Someone stole my 5-year-old’s trike last weekend. Hard to believe a person would do that, isn’t it?
The hard: Still haven’t gotten yarn for a large project with a hard deadline. Getting a little panicky about this one, but I still have work to do on the pattern, so I have at least one area where I can keep moving forward.
The good: I got my Dance of Shiva DVD on Wednesday! And I got to get started on it yesterday! *Such* coolness. I have to say, I’m seriously curious about the esoteric stuff Andrey says he’s not going to talk about in the theory section. One immediate benefit–my neck, shoulders, and upper back are feeling more relaxed. This is wonderful, since I spend about eight hours a day in front of a computer or on the phone (or both).
An acquaintance who heard about the tricycle theft has one she is going to give Mr. B, as her son is about to go up a step in cycles.
I am feeling really blissful about all the healing and growth that seems to be happening for me, instead of letting myself get stuck in all the stuff that’s been happening to trigger it. Yay not stuck!
Havi, you mentioned me on Twitter and suddenly I have followers! That has made things so fun! Thanks!
Anna-Lizas last blog post..Pollyanna and the Blizzard of รขโฌห09, Havi, Shiva, and Twitter
So glad to hear your arms are healing, Havi, even if it is going slowly.
This week, for me, the hard:
– I’m fighting some kind of bug. I’m tensing against it, which is only giving me a headache and making me tired. And my 2.5-hour nap today did nothing but make me groggier and more headachy.
– I’m facing up to how much filing and organizing I haven’t done over the past year (three big boxes of random crap worth), and have to get it all sorted before I can begin doing taxes. And I seem to be missing March-April and can’t figure out where I might have stashed it.
The good:
– I got two projects off my desk on Wednesday and am ahead on another.
– The daffodils are getting ready to bloom, and the little woodpeckers are out in full force in our trees.
– I love my new haircut.
Lori Paximadiss last blog post..sneak peek
So happy to hear that healing is happening for you. And your uncle sounds great!
This week was weird as I had a daughter home for spring break, a son on spring break, and decided to take a week off from everything and give myself a break. Which has been very very nice.
Today we went to Parkersburg and met with my friend Anna who treated us to delicious Lebanese cuisine, and then we saw our show again before heading to the yarn shop to pick up some yarn. And I realized while talking with her about crocheting small animals that I do have more knowledge to share, which made me very happy.
It also rained, which ended our “Extremely High” fire danger in the area, and which made more of the trees and flowers pop. I just love the yellow green of the willow trees this time of year.
And what appeared to be bad (my daughter was told she needed to replace her head gasket) turned out to be something good because our mechanic said that if it hadn’t been caught so early she would’ve probably ended up having to replace the whole engine.
And my mom and dad got a new puppy, a Boxer/Chihuahua mix who they’ve named Bruiser. He sounds really cute and I am very happy my dad has someone to keep him company while my mom’s at work ๐
Andis last blog post..FAQ
I have a regret from SXSWi when we met. I didn’t say, Wow, your hands don’t work–that must be challenging for you. I meant to but then it was all ack! Everybody’s here! You’re tall (blech, kind of starf***y, sorry) and my mind flew to the moon and left me behind.
But this has been a good week, I’ve had some fun, and looks like you did too so, yea!
I kind of hate reading about other people’s troubles but so glad that you let us all vent.
I know what it’s like to not be able to do. Maybe next week, a whole salad for you! And helpful snacks. (That wacky STU.)
The Good:
-You made a salad Havi and your arms are feeling better. THAT made my day.
-A close friend that I took Yoga Teacher Trainng from is offering to give me private lessons for free. I really respect her as a person and a teacher and will take her up on it for sure.
-My naturopath helped me see the big picture on this inner ear/virus thing and I know I’m right where I need to be
-My son is recuperating from the flu and did not have kidney stones or a bowel obstruction as we suspected
-Michael Bungay Stanier’s new book is excellent – I love his maps on napkins. I think the site is http://www.boxofcrayons.com – check it out
-Walking to my Leslie Sansone DVD’s every day averaging 4 miles a day and have an accountability partner. This is seriously the easiest most mindless way to get your heart rate up and keep it at a steady pace – really loving it. Follow it with Paul Grilley DVD and I’m in like flynn – http://www.walkathome.com
-Discovered Sparks for accountability for goal setting. Got lots of goals and can see clearly what’s happening with me. Great and easy tracking device. http://www.sparkspeople.com – I think.
AND the best of all is there was NO hard this week for me – it all easily morphed into good! Wow – it’s amazing being me.
Havi my love, you made a salad! Yay! I’m so happy your arms are healing.
Thank you for saying nice things about our work together. Makes me blush and smile all at the same time. ๐
I so get the whole tired of not being able to do things. And then, when that shifts, there’s a different kind of strangeness that takes some getting used to.
My good this week:
First, I saw my surgeon yesterday, and am now walking with just a cane! And I drove today for the first time in seven weeks. So hooray for mobility!
And then today I had another amazing session with you, and you helped me get my two most difficult web pages written and posted! All this in just two weeks–after months of eye rolling, hand wringing, teeth grinding and just plain lying down in the face of the Great Blank Page.
Thank you, Havi!
xoxo Hiro
Hiro Bogas last blog post..Creative Connection: Where’s Your Muse When the Baby’s Spitting Up at 3 am?
Poor arms. I am glad they are starting to get better. Can you still do Dance of Shiva?
Good:
600 tulips poking their tulip noses above the soil.
Some work stuff doing much the same, things I planted a long time ago coming to fruition. Makes me feel really very very good.
Feeling all swoony with the love for my blogging pals.
Hard:
For various reasons, my child was home from school for 4 days this week. This is not a recipe for me getting a whole lot done. He was actually a champ about it, but he is also, let’s face it, 3. Even when he is a champ, he can wear a person right the hell out.
Sonia Simones last blog post..Compassionate Selfishness
I love reading all about everyone’s week. Our little ritual thing-ey totally cheers me up. Every single time.
@Char – ohmygosh, no hard this week! I am amazed. You have really been plowing through some big changes. You deserve a week of good stuff already, so that’s wonderful.
@Marie – meeting you was one of the highlights of my trip! We had way too much to talk about aside from poor me poor me, so no worries there.
@Andi – Bruiser! He sounds absolutely adorable.
@Lori – did you steal my week? Because I think I had that one too. Almost exactly. Wow.
@Anna-Liza – hooray for not stuck, and for changes and for Shiva Nata! Love it.
@carma – oh, you poor dear. Sorry that you’re carpal tunnel-ey. I don’t know what to recommend because there are so many different things I’ve tried, but the main helpful ones (for me, specifically) have been (aside from NOT USING YOUR ARMS):
— Ru Graveolens from hippie pharmacy
— hot tub
— myofascial release
— acupuncture
— enzymetica repair pills
— baths with epsom salts
Sigh. And Stu.
@everyone else – can’t write/dictate any more. You guys rock. I adore you all madly. Thanks for sharing your week with me and for putting up with me when I share mine.
thanks Havi! I’m am going to really try and lay off the keyboard this weekend and see if that helps and then I may need to embark on some of these alternatives. Hoping to stave off Stu for a long, long time ๐
carma
carmas last blog post..Friday Favorites
I’m late for the party, but that’s normal for me. I read my blogs “later, when I have time.” ๐
Havi, I’m glad you manged baking AND a salad! The healing is going well, and you have all kinds of support, and that is good. Also, favorite uncles are the best! ๐
Last week for me:
-the hard/bad: Didn’t have use of the car, so I lost 3 hours per day in commute time (bus always takes much, much longer.) That means I did not get any studio time in at all until yesterday.
-the good: The time on the bus allowed me to relax and to catch up on some magazines. I don’t subscribe–I have tons of back issues that I’m actually reading. Most of it’s not stuff that’s out of date, but is actually timeless or just fun.
-had a massive flow of ideas for new works. Paintings.
-decided to start researching getting my paintings scanned, so that I can offer prints. I’m not ready to sell my originals.
-yesterday, had a meeting with other local crafters and made some new connections. It was wonderful, and I may get a commission out of it.
-got all of my jewelry moved into my Etsy shop, which proved to be a very smart move! (Wasn’t getting any traffic at all where it was before, even when I promoted.)
Have a great week, Havi!
Jen M.
JenniferLynn Productions
Jen M.s last blog post..Studio Update.