Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Seems like just last week we were figuring out what happened in our week — oh wait, we were. That’s tradition for you. 🙂
I’m ready for a weekend nap, but there’s still a good chunk of Friday left.
Since I’ll be running around like a madwoman this week, cleaning hysterically for Passover, this may be my last nap for a while. No, scratch that. I insist on napping. There will be napping. Amid the hysteria.
The hard stuff
Cranky!
One of the unfortunate side-effects of physical pain is that my annoyance threshold is perilously low.
Not that the things that are annoying me aren’t legitimately annoying, because they are, but I’m much less equipped to take them in stride.
I can’t tell if I’m less willing to take crap from people or if there’s just more of it, but …
It’s making me a little rant-ey.
Busy!
A lot going on in my business. A lot going on in my conscious, contemplative, complicated “healing process” thingamabob. A lot going on at home.
Add to that my constant requests for my brother or my gentleman friend to help me respond to comments here on the blog, or to scroll for me when I want to read something online …
It’s just hard right now.
The good stuff
Roller Derby!
A couple of killer all-star matches against Seattle, and I didn’t even lose my voice! Though it was close.
Our B all-star team — the “Axles of Annihilation” (!) — destroyed the Rat City B-team 150 to 88. Admittedly, the Seattle team also has a terrific name: “Rain of Terror”, but it didn’t help them.
The showdown between the Rose City Rollers all-stars “Wheels of Justice” and the “Rat City All Stars” was even more tense and agonizing and wonderful.
For one thing, it was the first league-sanctioned match between the two teams ever. Seattle had been ranked 6th nationally, and Portland 12th or so — depending who you asked. The final score was 148 to 134 for Portland. Upset!
Much screaming ensued. Now I have a couple of weeks to recover and get in shape for cheering again.
My duck has a new friend.
As you will recall, last week we had a visit (by iron horse) from my uncle Svevo.
He’s pretty much the best giver-of-presents that I know, so I wasn’t surprised by the jar of homemade pickled string beans or the gigantic bag of potbelly-stove-roasted walnuts.
But he also brought a special present for Selma. It’s a chicken. Not a real one. A toy wind-up chicken who lays vitamins. It’s all very confusing. My duck has a chicken. But it works. Somehow.
Big help for my arms.
I had an amazing craniosacral session with this woman named Cobalt, and it was astonishingly great. She got my arms to start talking to me again, and they’re giving me information like crazy. They still hurt. But at least we’re talking.
Then I was working with Carolyn and her fantastic PSYCH-K stuff. And for the first time, I’m really hopeful and even excited about the changes that are being forced into existence through this experience.
Will share more about this later. Yay! End of tunnel ahoy.
Big crazy system changes.
I’ve brought someone in to work with me at home. Which is crazy, because I’m used to working with virtual assistants and never seeing anyone.
But I need someone to click for me and scroll for me and be another set of hands. It’s forcing me to be super-focused, extra-structured, and just plow through things that need to be done.
So I’m loving it. Loving the systematizing, loving the routine, loving the genius ideas we’re coming up with. Again, we can talk more about this later. For now I’ll just say that this is miraculous and I’m full of new energy for my work.
And … STUISMS of the week.
Stu is my paranoid McCarthy-ist voice-to-text software who takes pleasure in misunderstanding me.
Some of the gems from this week:
- “energetic a little” instead of energetical
- “Procrastination Dissolvable medic” instead of Dissolve-o-Matic
- “prayer geezer” instead of priorities
- “The Smart Mrs.” instead of smartnesses
- “it’s about being president” instead of It’s about being present
- “Dana the Spacey Princess!” instead of Dana the Spicy Princess
- “We can hang out on torture” and “We can hang out on tour there” instead of We can hang out on Twitter
- “By the fact that Africa” instead of by the fact that I freak out
- “Emergency Combing Techniques” instead of Emergency Calming Techniques
But I find Stu’s delightful Freudian slips even more powerful embarrassing:
- “If I let go of my anchor” instead of if I let go of my anger
- “In the heart” instead of in the hard
Come on, Stu. Stop revealing the inner workings of my subconscious, you acetyl!
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.
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LUURVE THAT CHICKEN. If I had had that chicken as a child the doctor would have had to hide my vitamins from me instead of just telling my mom to put them where I couldn’t reach them. I LOVE VITAMINS.
I am so happy to hear that your arms want to talk to you again. I think I might have been having “sympathy tunnel syndrome” or something.
The hard – facing up to myself, fessing up to myself or something like that. Digging out and discarding all those things I think have to be, but aren’t and realizing that I don’t want them to be, except for the ones where I do want them to be.
The good – making room for more love, compassion and fun by getting rid of the stuff I no longer need and want, physically, psychically and emotionally, especially emotionally. And having some really great informative dreams to help me do all that.
Thanks for being you!!!
Minervas last blog post..Life, Outlines and Ideas
a) I’m glad to hear you’re making progress with those hurty arms. Yay! Progress. Yay for hopeful havi!
b) My mind is now stuck on “Emergency Combing Technique”. How would that work? The mind boggles! 😮 Would that be like in the movie Spaceballs, where they combed the desert?
Carinas last blog post..Old convictions and an epiphany
Love the chicken. My husband’s family does this thing for the December holidays where they assemble lots of those walk-across-the-table toys and get them all wound up and running around like crazy. And they make a huge balloon sculpture thing that they tie to the chandelier. Yeah.
I laughed out loud at “prayer geezer.” I can totally *see* him, his hands folded in prayer, looking like Mr. Magoo.
Lisa Firkes last blog post..Nimble set-ups in the wild
This is my first “friday check-in” and I think it’s great. I love the idea of reviewing the week and “checking in” with yourself. Also interesting…”check in” is very similar to “chicken”…
Positively Presents last blog post..the best is not yet to come
oh havi, thank you for showing up again. I do not take showing up for granted. At all. And, thanks for asking…
the hard stuff: Overwhelm. Big huge overwhelm. But then I suppose that’s the nature of overwhelm: it always feels huge. I’d like to take the over out of it, though, to just have the “whelm” for awhile. The “over” part makes good ideas go into a crazed kind of spinning thing and then nothing seems good about anything.
the good stuff: therapist. a zany, wonderful, earthy smart woman who, I-swear-to-god, reminds me of the Gaia statues. This is good, because if there is anything that I am missing these days it is earth and ground and big wide down-to-earth and practical smarts. And listening and laughing. Because crying my heart out endlessly should not preclude laughter. Ever.
the hard stuff: I need to put the writing part of my work on hold. I need some serious regrouping and replenishing. The well is feeling dry (other than tears). And i need to get my massage business to a good and solid and sustaining-me place (that’s my aim this month: to ittybiz the hell out of my massage therapy business) so that I can be creative without worrying about where the food and rent money will come from.
the good: last night I dreamt of a huge imprint in the ground. This was no dainty ballerina slipper print. This was not even a barefoot print. This was a serious, metal-toed heavy duty work boot print. BOLD. Strong. In the earth. I have been feeling so overwhelmed and scared. So scared. Maybe this was a reminder of the bold, the strong and the powerful in me. It must be there somewhere. Something in me is pointing me to bold and strong. And earth. (Hey, it’s Earth Month!)
Thank you for sparking my healing. And for hearing my dream image. I love Uncle Svevo. Love him. And I’m very happy you have in-person help now. Milk it! In-person sounds wonderful.
All my love,
heidi
Heidi Fischbachs last blog post..Grandma & me
Hey Guys!
@Heidi – Love hearing about all your good and all your hard. Thanks for showing up and appreciating the showing up.
@Positively Present – Right on. Thanks for hanging out with us on the Chicken.
@Lisa F. – love the story about the toys. And now I want a Mr. Magoo prayer doll. In fact, I demand one.
@Minerva – Sympathy tunnel syndrome is the funniest and the saddest thing ever. Wonderful. I was really impressed by the power in all of your hard and good that you shared. Sounds like you are working through a lot.
@Carina – Thanks for the good wishes! I’m going to put you in charge of creating the Emergency Combing Techniques Package. 🙂
Well of course I have to root for Seattle, since it’s closer and I go there more often. But I do love the chicken. I have a similar sheep, but it doesn’t lay eggs. Jelly beans are involved, however.
One high point of my week was completing (bailing on?) my blog series of Life Hacks a la Gilbert and Sullivan. Not because it wasn’t worthwhile, the whole point is, it was. I learned some unexpected lessons along the way, which is always great.
I guess if they’re “expected” lessons, then they’re not really lessons . . . at least not in the same way.
The rough part is I do so much typing these days, and keep reading about your carpel tunnel syndrome, that I’m a little paranoid and my forearms are sore most of the time. I do have Dragon Naturally Speaking but haven’t done anything with it. It might be time. Hate that.
Oh, and I was asked to guest on two blogs, and got a good-sized writing gig. So that’s great!
Terry Heaths last blog post..Aesthetic Poets and “To Thine Own Self Be True”
Well A#1 is how on earth did I not know that Portland had a Roller Derby team!? I think I knew this on some level but have been stuck in grad school land over by Gresham where nothing cool happens.
Happy to hear about your arms finally talking to you! That is so huge.
Good and hard for the week was me finally getting over some stuckness around figuring out my student loan stuff. (zoiks!).
PS. Stu has really been a source of endless delight for me. I mean what he comes up with is huh-larious sometimes.
Danielles last blog post..Green Therapy Series: My So-Called Green Life.
I am loving having a bit of free time today for the first time in weeks and weeks to see what I’ve been missing here. I’m so glad to hear that you are making progress with your arm! Of course, I knew that you would, being the conscious, open, adorable soul that you are. And I knew that you would be finding duckloads of humor in the process of discovery.
Thanks for sharing the wonderfulness of Havi with the rest of us!
[Charlene]s last blog post..New Ebook: Competitive Twitter Syndrome
Havi,
Glad the end of the tunnel is at least viewable. That is certainly progress! And a reason for some celebration.
As for Stu, he clearly knows me better than most! The Spacey Princess I certainly can be. Never has anyone cut to the chase so well.
The good: Had the best trip with my family and spent 5 days in the car with my 17 year old daughter and we had a fabulous time! Not one argument, just lots and lots of laughs. She’s hilarious!
Also managed to make some great connections and money while on the other side of the country. That is always a great thing.
The hard: My one party this weekend canceled yesterday and I don’t get paid until the 15th and it seems as if everything needs money right now. One kid back in college (all I can think of are the bills, Ranch Boy working on refinancing (with points of course), Lots of great helper mice working with me on my business need to get paid (and they are worth every penny!). It just all adds up to anxiety about $$. And I hate that feeling.
I know it will go away as soon as I get my check and pay everyone, but the in between week is fraught with what if it’s just not enough.
Thanks for the opportunity to share, and thank Stu for the laugh!! Love you, Dana, Spicy Princess
Dana Corey, Spicy Princesss last blog post..How to Choose #3: Vibrators
I need to have an assistant come into my house and work with me. I can just feel the focus I would need to not wonder off from the task at hand. Maybe I can create a mind game to get this same feeling. Hmmmm…how to do this?
Maybe when I start making a little more money off my website, ok a lot more then I can bring someone in and see how it helps me stay laser focused. 🙂
Karl Staib – Work Happy Nows last blog post..Indulge Your Senses At Work
You make me want a STU of my own. I had a huge laugh over the “acetyl.”
I’m new at this good/hard tradition, but here goes.
Good — I’m painting every day.
Hard — I still don’t have a job and am terrified I’ll eventually lose my house and my big wild back yard and most of all my dogs.
Judys last blog post..What to do with my blog.
I don’t know if you use caffeine at all, but I get around the need to nap during busy times with the coffee or espresso nap. You drink a cup of coffee or a latte, then take a 20-minute nap, then get up and crank on whatever you need to get done.
I adore that egg-laying chicken, but no one else in my life thinks it’s funny, for some reason. I do have a three-year-old now, so perhaps there’s hope for this Easter.
Glad to hear something good is happening with the Hand Thing, Havi.
I have no real chicken. Just wanted to share that.
Mark W. “Extra Crispy” Schumanns last blog post..MarkWSchumann: Okay, @JeffSchuler is here now. Who has a question for him?
Isn’t craniosacral just amazing? I’m so happy it’s helping you – I know it’s the only thing that has helped my back. Yay for awesome healers!
And I can’t wait to hear more about your latest genius ideas.
The hard – this week it’s been about trying not to slip into overwhelm. Once I crossed that threshhold from “I don’t know what I want to do” to “This is what I want, now I need to Make It Happen”, it’s been tough to slow myself down and take it one step at a time. I need to get my “prayer geezer” in order!
The good – Moved through some major, huge stuck. And I’ve got amazing clients who are fun to work with and are having really exciting breakthroughs!
BTW – When your arms are all better, and you don’t need him anymore, can I have Stu? He’s hilarious.
Victoria Brouhards last blog post..Moving Past Some Fear
I’m new here, but I’m going to give this a shot:
The Hard: Lots of roadblocks this week. Had a big giant panicky bit of overwhelm on Monday, with gnashing of teeth and wailing, “I don’t knooooow!”
I keep having a lot of fear-based reactions here. Afraid I’m not good enough. Afraid I can’t make it without the safety net of BCCU. Afraid I’m going to keep spiralling down into debt, or my health will decline, or that I just plain fail. I’m working on accepting that it’s ok to be afraid and working around it, but man, it sucks when I’m in it.
The Good: I did some of Havi’s Emergency Calming Techniques, which were a bit woo-woo for cynical old me, but worked anyway. And I feel WAY less stuck. Decisions have been made, and even though the Fear keeps trying to shove me back into the stuck place, I’m pretty happy with the direction my arrow is pointing at the moment.
I want to do two things: keep doing design for my Ideal Clients, and start doing more painting, especially commission work.
In other good news, money is coming in from an unexpected source, I’ve wrangled myself two months to get my Marketing Stuff to a point where I’m getting new clients and have enough work to fill up the coffers regularly. This is a much better timeline than “now or never.”
The Cats: I have dubbed the practice of snuggling in such a way that I can’t get anything done Feline Passive Resistance. It’s like Ghandi, only fuzzier. I’m trying to use that time to be a little more Zen, and/or type around Pod anyway — Bella’s less in the way, but more determined. Generally this lasts until nature calls louder than the purring, and then naptime is over. Heh.
The Future: I’m putting some of my hard-earned pennies into Naomi’s IttyBiz SpeakEasy thing, which is already starting to help out just by existing. Knowing there is somewhere I can go with my questions once I have formulated them better is making a huge difference.
So my to-dos for April: Finishing up projects that are holding me back with guilt and shoulds, so I can move past them and their stuff, and get onto working through MY stuff instead. Finding a design niche, and building a commission painting niche. Getting a real marketing plan going for both.
Amy Crooks last blog post..Commission: Mermaid
Yay! I can’t even tell you how much I enjoy reading about everyone’s week, and it’s so great that you do this with me. Lots of good and hard and interesting stuff here. Stu may have to start his own blog when I kick him to the curb.
The hard:
– My tutoring students are on spring break and my cash flow is suffering.
– Received constructive criticism and it sent me into a major tailspin. I tried to tell myself that it’s useful information and I should be grateful for it, but I just wanted to curl up in a little ball and not think about it.
The good:
– After a couple days I managed to turn the constructive criticism into an opportunity to fix something. Feel much better now, thanks.
– Got a new tutoring client via word of mouth. Yay happy clients who give glowing referrals!
– Finished a big painting that I’d been laboring over for what seemed an eternity. Pulled some late nights and long hours, and it’s finally done! (It’s on my blog now.)
Barbara J Carters last blog post..New dot painting: “Square, Red”
Oh, the cranky. I’m so totally with you on that this week.
The hard:
– Still not where I want to be with my tax prep, and I’m starting to panic about it just a little bit.
– Some paperwork got screwed up with my last doctor’s appointment, and I just don’t have time right now to sort it all out. Ugh.
The good:
– My hard wasn’t really all that hard this week.
– I had a good dinner with my nephew this week and was able to put to use some advice you gave to LeAnne back in January (http://fluentself.com//blog/habits/practice-deguiltifying/). It was so incredibly helpful, and I think it really helped us really talk to each other.
– I’m fully booked through the first week of May and have actually had to turn down jobs. That’s a good kind of busy.
Lori Paximadiss last blog post..Sproing!
Hi Havi – Love your Friday posts.
I think I’m falling for STU…
Good 1: Seeing a little progress everyday and being okay with the little part.
Good 2: Getting a VA to help with all those littles. Wow.
Hard: Helping client launch first big e-book project. Amazing client; hard amount of details to attend. Very soon to be in the Good category though.
Thanks for letting me join in,
Laurie
Laurie Foleys last blog post..Whose Power Cord Are You Using?
The hard: picking one thing and sticking to it. Having the siding over my studio window blow off on Sunday. Did I mention picking one thing and sticking to it?
The cool: receiving a copy of a book I designed a project for; discovering MagCloud and being inspired to design my own zines; setting a shelf up in the living room and finally having a floor!
I love the chicken, she is cute, but no Selma 🙂 I’ve appreciated reading your posts this week and wish you happy Passover and happy napping! 😀
Andis last blog post..Crafty Chica’s Latest Book
The hard: I have some just . . . weird . . kind of mental block with regard to one of the musical groups where I play. The music is difficult and I’ve had a weird negative attitude and I can’t figure it out at all and nothing has ever really happened like this. It doesn’t make any sense — so I’m trying to, you know, acknowledge it and dissolve it. Before Sunday.
Also hard: I hate fussing with computers, and I had to backup everything so I could install XP SP2 so I could install a new iTunes so I could get to the itunes store and NOW I have to install drivers etc. for a new printer/scanner/all-in-one. I hate the retroactive snowball effect of chores. But it’ll be nice to get the new printer up and running.
The good: I got through my busy week OK, and today I had some good time to sit and be quiet and write in my new notebook, and I made some lists and came up with some hope. Next week there’ll be a bit of calm (like, I’ll have evenings to myself again). And I’ve been running with the ‘You already know what you need to do to get through [x task]. What is it?’ concept.
And come to think of it, the vitamin chicken has a lot of potential for good imagery, you know? What a great nonjudgmental but helpful companion!
Stu is simply too funny! This week’s list of stuisms made me laugh out loud!
I’m happy for you that the end of the tunnel is in sight, and that the big crazy system changes are in the “good” section of your list. I’m looking forward to reading more about it all!
The good in my week:
– receiving the warmest welcome from you mere minutes after getting started with Twitter. That was very sweet!
– testing a recipe for the upcoming book of a vegan cookbook author. That was a great experience!
– finally adding the habit of journaling to my daily Shiva Nata practice. Still no big epiphany came out of it, but writing things down is good.
– registering for Jen’s writer’s retreat and Naomi’s SpeakEasy thing. I hope to be able to make the most out of both.
– not being able to find much that would fit under “hard”: there is lots of smallish and biggish stuff, but overall right now I’m feeling quite good – too good to list hard stuff!
Have a great weekend, and enjoy your naps!
You are my morning breakfast buddie Havi, along with Chip & Flora who really just hang out with me for the toast & marmite corners (choc labs luv marmite).
This week three revelations in my life:
1. Now its okay, in fact the LAW, to talk about money troubles – we are all sharing – all your blog friends, my real life friends, even my posh friends who dont have money worries but recognise that its trendy to understand how the rest of us live. This is fantastic because finally its out there. We dont need to pretend we are coping, when we’re not. A problem shared is a problem harved, then quartered, then diluted.
2. I decided to try to get into running my creativity workshops in the Arts & Health field and told a couple of people. Suddenly, there are opportunities, training workshops and scary but exciting offers on the table, including money potential. Does this mean this is finally the right road? I really hope so as Ive been wondering through the wilderness for the last 35 years.
3. Musing over life with a friend and a glass of wine,
I said “I’ve come to the point in life when I wonder what its all about”.
She said “You’ve reached it! When you get to wondering what life is all about, then you’ve discovered the point of life”.
Somehow, this seemed life an epiphany moment, but without the wine Im now not so sure. Thoughts?
Bren, I have come to a similar revelation on the money thing. I have been hiding it and putting on a happy face for the 2 years DH has been out of work but I finally started talking about it. Not in a complaining way, just matter of fact, “this is what I’ve been having to do” way. Because the feeling of isolation has been crippling in all areas of my life.
Andis last blog post..Crafty Chica’s Latest Book
Argh! Right after I turned off the computer last night, some hard jumped up at me: lifting my arms up to stretch and hearing once again that cracking sound in my upper chest, I have to acknowledge that the slight discomfort I’ve been feeling in that area for the past two weeks may very well be a broken rib. From trying to talk with it in those past weeks, I knew there was some emotional stuff attached to it, but last night I was surprised and disturbed by the intensity of my emotional reaction to it. The symbolic charge I feel is associated with it may have something to do with my reaction too. In one word: hard.
hard stuff
lodger did a runner
trying to give up caffiene
done my back in
fear of the future generalized and overwhelming
good stuff
lodger smoked so probably a good thing he left
glad I’m trying to change an ingrained habit
being more open with my fears is helping
its a beautiful spring day here
going swimming in an hour to help back
I just found your blog and its great to be reminded to be grateful. I hope you feel better soon! Physically, I had a pretty difficult week last week, but thankful that I can at least try to do something about it. I am especially thankful for the luxury of health insurance.
carlas last blog post..The Controversy of the (Organic) White House Garden
So, I don’t know why the Friday Chicken arrived in my Feeder today instead of Friday. I realized that I look forward to this ritual though so . . . . onward.
The Good
So much good stuff happening here. Aaron, my youngest, has been attending the Final Four. At one point, he said “Mom, thank you so much for this (I had to pay $200 for the tickets which I gave him as an early bday present – this is insanely cheap given the fact that it’s MSU and in Detroit) – next to my Bar Mitzvah, this is the greatest experience of my life!!!
Now, I ask you – what could possibly be wrong with the world after receiving a message like that! Nothing in my book.
I learned how to walk both dogs on a “multiple leash” which has a hook on each end and so I only need one leash.
That’s huge!!
Had an awesome experience with someone who told me how to create deadlines to get stuff done so that my eBook comes out on May 15th. I felt seriously touched by an angel with this person’s influence.
Aired a three minute blurb on blog talk radio with the help of this wonderfully awesome angel.
Joined Naomi’s SpeakEasy and have gotten some priceless advice.
Got The Creative Spark to celebrate life – can’t figure out how to download it, but help is on the way.
Got in touch with a Techie VA to talk about my needs.
Seeing my stepmother who is struggling with some health issues and lives out of town She said – “why don’t you wait til you’re in town” – to which I said “I want to see you today because you’re a priority and other things can wait.” Very grateful that my schedule is flexible enough to accomodate being with people I love spontaneously.
The Hard
Passover is coming and lots of cooking to do when I’d rather focus on my business and self care.
Family that is not letting me know til the last minute if they are coming which makes it challenging to plan a menu as they are picky eaters.
Learning to prepare for the holidays with more love and less resentment when family members aren’t chipping in because they are all too busy.
Needing to repeat the same messages neutrally and compassionately as it takes friends and family a while to adjust to new behavior from me, and though I understand it – it tries my patience
Thanks for listening.