Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
So I know we just checked in day before yesterday, but that was all about New Year’s. Now we’re back to the weekly check-in.
Chicken!
The hard stuff
Schleepy.
So ever since I quit working nights all those years ago (okay, not that many years ago), my body announced that it wasn’t going to stay up past 10:00 p.m. ever again.
It was a classic “Because I can! Ha ha!” kind of move. And most of the time it’s not an issue.
But last night we went to pick up Ez at the airport and didn’t get home until midnight and didn’t get to bed until one.
And I’m totally in dysfunctional mouse mode*, for the record.
*“Dysfuctional mouse” — as in, a variation on helper mouse. I didn’t mean to imply that dysfunctional in a computer mouse sense, though yeah, probably that too.
So much for big plans.
With everyone away on holiday vacation and such, I had big crazy plans to get lots of stuff done.
And yeah, stuff. And a lot of it did get done.
But it wasn’t quiet. It was way hectic and I don’t really want to talk about it but there was just a lot going on, and a lot of work pouring in that I didn’t have patience for.
CrankyPants McGrumbleBug strikes again!
I’ve been feeling kind of generally crabby and impatient lately, to be honest. Maybe it’s the rain.
Maybe it’s all the big changes in my business and getting used to all the new things that are happening or in the process of happening.
Maybe it’s because I haven’t seen my acupuncturist in three weeks.
Maybe it’s that I get a gazillion and ten emails a day.
Or that way too many of them involve someone being annoyed because something I said offended them.*
*Uh, guys. Last I heard, there was no shortage of blogs in the world. So … instead of trying to convince me to change my style, wouldn’t it be easier to find someone whose sense of humor doesn’t step on your toes?
And then, of course — despite what I just said in that last little aside — I still for some reason cannot not answer these emails.**
**Because being a yogi sucks. I can’t help it. I always end up truly wanting to compassionately engage with everyone who is feeling hurt because of something I said.
And then I take half an hour to meditate on it and half an hour to compose an email, and if I get ten letters a week like this, that’s my whole week right there. Yes, I know.
But is any of that why I’m grumble-bugging? Who knows. It might not even be any of that.
Just. Not. In. The. Mood.
It happens.
The rest of the hard is all stuff I wrote about on Wednesday, so let’s move on to the good.
The good stuff
New Year’s.
As predicted in the bible on Wednesday, I did win at Boggle.
There was good food (spicy cauliflower-potato magic and home-made yogurt) because my gentleman friend is a mad genius in the kitchen.
And … yes, I fell asleep before ten, but it does seem that the transition to 2009 went okay without me so no worries there.
Also, I must point out the extreme irony that — despite it being our anniversary and all the romantic gooey-ness that goes along with that — both of us managed to miss the word “love” in the final round of Boggle.
Cheese!
Not that I don’t love the gorgeous cashmere sweater my gentleman friend got me because I do, but the highlight of the whole anniversary-new-year’s-day thing … this crazy awesome cheese.
Willamette Farmstead Wine Pomace Gouda.
It was purple. Well, purple-ish. And outrageously great.
I am very enthusiastic about cheese, so let’s say it again. Cheese!
I bought myself a desk.
Those of you who know me are saying, “But you HATE desks. With a passion. Who are you?”
Yes, well.
It’s actually a chaise lounge. But I’m calling it a desk.
Because it’s where I work.
And it’s the nicest desk I’ve ever had. Also the most expensive. Also it kind of ties the room together.
And now my brother has a place to sleep (my old desk, aka the purple couch) until his bed arrives.
Ez moved in.
Wheeeeeeeee!
Our alternative family just gets more fun by the day. Me, my gentleman friend, my duck Selma and now my brother.
This is so, so, so great. Expect him to show up here kind of a lot, because he’s pretty much my favorite person ever.
The New York Freaking Times, baby.
So my duck had her picture in the front page of the Thursday Style section of the New York Times yesterday.
Well, second page if you’re reading it online. First page in the print edition.
Also, I was quoted. But Selma was in the headline.
She’s pretty darned pleased with herself, as you might imagine, and I’m basically never going to hear the end of this.
After the famously disastrous Welt am Sonntag piece where she was barely mentioned and it was mostly about me, there were a lot of ruffled little diva duck feathers around here, let me tell you.
Anyway, it’s a thoughtful, interesting piece by Abby Ellin in the Times, and worth a read even if you’re not at all interested in things yoga-related.
I also posted about this on the Shivanaut blog, if you’d like to read a bit more about the rejoicing, the madness and the stuff I do when I’m not here. Oh, and while you’re there?
You can also read about my crazy students and the weird things they do with Rice Krispies treats.
My parents. They might plotz.
So back to that article in the New York Freaking Times for a second.
My parents are pretty vague on what I do for a living, and “internet famous” is kind of a nebulous concept anyway when you’re the kind of person who thinks of the internet as an especially fast version of the Yellow Pages.
But they read the New York Times oh, every single morning. As does everyone they know.
So they were very, very impressed. Which was cool because most of the things I get excited about are things they can’t really understand, so it’s all kind of the same level of “that’s nice, dear.”
Not that they’re not happy for me, just that it’s all kind of insubstantial somehow because they have no context.
So this was pretty entertaining. And really sweet.
Naomi called.
What can I say. My life is just less fun and there is considerably less madcap goofiness when Naomi isn’t around.
She called from England this morning and totally made my week. Everything is better now.
That’s it for me ….
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.
Follow
“It’s actually a chaise lounge. But I’m calling it a desk.” See, this is why we love you.
And I hear you on the grumble. I want everyone to like me, even though I know better.
Not sure if it’s sucky or non-sucky: No one was really around and so while I had all this stuff planned to get done for my biz — I really kind of took the week off. And it’s been fun.
Non-sucky: Not ‘working’ but having a possible AWESOME opportunity just pop up out of thin air.
Sucky: Coming back from Florida to a place where it’s cold. (Blech.)
Non-sucky: Being in my house, my space, with my stuff where I feel all rejuvenated and stuff.
Absolutely non-sucky: Reconnecting with high school friends I haven’t seen or talked to in 20 years and finding that everyone is pretty much full of the love and the support and the encouragement kind of vibe.
TOTALLY non-sucky: Reconnecting with the first love of my life and being reminded what it’s like to be loved like that. And being able to talk to the person who was your best friend — and it’s still like you’re best friends and never missed a beat. (And thus, FINALLY, letting go of a non-lovey person in my life). YAY!
Completely non-sucky: New Year’s Eve. ‘Nuff said. 😉
Overall, it’s been a pretty non-sucky week!
Really happy for you on all the cool stuff!
Happy New Year everyone!
All the best!
deb
Deb Owens last blog post..Happy New Year!
Ooh – awesome for making it into the New York Times! Congratulations Havi!!
Ankesh Kotharis last blog post..On Hiring People
A chaise longue? How fabulous!
I said it elsewhere but congratulations once again on the NYT piece. It was marvelous.
Joely Blacks last blog post..The planet’s timing is off
Congrats again on your NYT triumph. That is huge!
For the first time, I think I will join in your chicken. Please be gentle with me.
Hard:
Knowing my vacation is almost over and I will be returning to the day job.
Noticing certain patterns of “hermitiness”. And trying to coax myself out of them in a kind way.
Good:
New blog!
Looking forward to one more blogging class w/ Havi and friends!
Lots of new Tweeps!
Now I just need to find some of that cheese that sounds so divine!
Victoria Brouhards last blog post..More on Fears (Not Moron Fears)
What a Glooorrrrrrrious triumph in the NYT! Congrats!
I don’t know if this is a sucky or non-sucky or a yay thing…but I discovered Facebook (I KNOW! Ok, I always knew it existed but I never “got it” so I never joined but last night I was thinking about an old friend and wondering if she was on facebook and WOW, she was!!!)
Anyway, I spent entirely too much time last night on facebook looking up old college friends who now all have small children and real lives while I am living my fairytale life working at home with my 5 hounds and while I think this is actually a yay moment because I feel very fortunate to be living my fairytale life, it almost made me feel guilty and non-grown up because I have a less “adult” type lifestyle than most of the people I went to college with – and in college, most people would have said I was the most grown up out of any of my group of friends.
Isn’t it interesting how that happens?
These are my goods and hards:
Hard: not knowing what’s going to happen to me in the next week re money, survival, life, the universe, everything.
Also, struggling (still) with this self-limiting thing about being published that won’t go away.
Good: The wonderfulness of reuniting in an emotional and physical way with my family; seeing my grandmother for the first time in three years; my father’s parsnip and cumin soup.
I really can’t imagine why people would want to write you mean emails. People occasionally write me mean emails and I ignore them. Anybody that motivated to dislike really doesn’t need encouragement from me. I think of myself as providing them with a service – something to be angry at – and hope one day they’ll work out why they need to be angry in the first place.
Joely Blacks last blog post..The planet’s timing is off
Thanks for celebrating with me. I just came back from a long walk tromping through the snow (yes, tromping!) with my brother … and what fun to see everyone here. Love it.
@Andrew – Oh, good. I’m so glad someone appreciates my Philosophy of Desks! Awesome.
And thanks for the sympathy. For me it’s actually (finally, after enough years of working on that pattern, not about wanting people to like me. I like to think I’m mostly over that.
For me it’s about wanting this blog to be a safe, cozy space where people can show up with their stuff.
But I also need it to be safe and cozy for me, which means that I can’t censor myself and my voice. My humor is a part of this space, which means that some people are always going to get hurt.
And at the same time, when people are legitimately feeling hurt, you can’t not meet that hurt with love, you know?
@Ankesh – Thanks, my dear!
@Deb, Victoria – Hooray, I love it when other people check in too. Hugs to both of you. And no worries, there’s no wrong way to do the Friday Chicken. 🙂
@Alisha – yes, Facebook is a crazy place.
I also have that feeling you describe – how did all these people turn into parents and grown-ups? I don’t have an adult lifestyle either, which suits me fine, but it is rather odd.
Good for you for living your happy hound life!
@Joely – Hugs for the hard. And for the good. Parsnip and cumin soup sounds lovely. And I’m glad you saw your grandmother again.
And – since I was unclear with this apparently – will just add/clarify that people don’t write me mean emails. They write me sad, disappointed, hurting emails.
Which is very different, for me at least.
And every time I’ve stopped and taken time to meet someone’s hurt, we heal something. We end up resolving it in a way that’s good for everyone.
I’m not suggesting AT ALL that this is what you should do. This way is hard, it’s only for certain situations and it’s definitely not for everyone, but right now it’s part of my path. A better compromise will be found, for sure, but I’m not planning on ignoring them.
Non-Sucky
–Spending a week visiting my parents. Because they are my parents and they love me so damn much. (inclusive of going to the movies 4 times and hitting a winner for all three of us every time. Which is way harder to pull off than you might think.)
–Reading 6 novels since 12/22. I love reading.
–Having a kitchen that’s been ultra-scrubbed down and freshly redocorated for the new year. Including going through all my foodstuffs and putting together a hefty bag of stuff for the food pantry so I can switch to a different, more raw foods way of eating.
–Getting a picture from dear friends with their cute little 2 year old daughter and their brand new Thanksgiving baby girl. Reflecting that neither of these children would exist if I hadn’t introduced these two cool human beings I call friends.
Sucky
–Feeling really lonely at home now that the vacation with the parents is over. Because I lost my little dog this year and the apt. feels empty without him.
–That my dear friends and their two dear children live all the way in Weisbaden, Germany now. That I want to hold Thanksgiving Baby in my arms while she’s still a peanut and I can’t.
–That I have prune hands from scrubbing the kitchen down.
–That I am behind on my blog work and Selma is going to get me.
P.S. — Havi, my fave Indian dish ever is Aloo Gobi, aka spicy cauliflower/potato bliss. Dang, now I want it for dinner.
Ginas last blog post..Book Review: Kop by Warren Hammond
feel free to be McgrumbleBug – everyone’s allowed – whenever they want! So *Hugs* to you lovely Havi.
And the NYT article was pretty darn amazing – I think we’re all doing a little dance of excited joy for you. YAY!!!
Wormys last blog post..Old Year Edition
@Havi We’ve probably been getting very different types of email! Of course, I haven’t had any for a very long time, but they never were more than a sentence. I think often when people write to you, even when they seem hurtful, as you say, they’re actually asking for help. They just don’t know how. Just like me, I guess!
And thanks for the hugs. Hugs are lovely!
Joely Blacks last blog post..In which I probably get hate-mail for being snarky
Congratulations, Havi & Selma, on your NYT piece. I love the picture! You both look beautiful.
Happy New Year! Look forward to reading your blog and learning from you throughout 2009.
@Amanda – Thanks for all the sweet wishes.
@Joely – You’re so right! And I’m sorry that you’ve gotten mean emails. That sucks and it’s horribly unfair and everyone in the world should know how marvelous you are. I guess in the meantime I’ll have to just keep telling them.
@Wormy – I adore you, my dear. And your blog too! Come here every day!
@Gina – Loved the check-in. Now I also want to hold Thanksgiving Baby Peanut. How cute is that?
And Selma is so not going to get you. The genius of Selma is that she’s completely internalized the thing that’s so hard for the rest of us – unconditional love and acceptance.
She’s sure, as I am, that you’ve been processing and percolating and subconsciously working on whatever needs to be worked on, and that it will all be fine. Talk to you tomorrow!
Great article Havi!!!!
How wonderful for you and for Selma! And how cool for your parents (and their friends) to read it! A great kind of validation in a way that is relevant to them. Congratulations! (Did your gentleman friend’s family see it too?)
Mmmmmm the cheese sounds yummy. I like Willamette Valley wines. They make cheese there too?
But of course, wine and cheese are such a perfect combination!
EVAs last blog post..FLOURISH!!!!!!!! – My Word for 2009
Thanks @EVA!
Yes, my parents were over the moon.
My gentleman friend’s parents don’t read that kind of “east coast liberal” publication, and don’t really even know what it is, so they didn’t have enough context to be impressed … but they got the general idea that it’s something to be happy about and were happy for me, which is what counts.
And yeah, Oregon is all about cheese. One of the many temptations that brought us here.
Thanks for the congratulations!
Dear Havi,
I loved the article in the New York Times! Congratulations.
And I also went asleep at 10pm. Zurich was so busy during the day, really “end of the year”-mood. It summed up a little bit 2008 for me, so much change, so much happened! And then in the evening it snowed in Zurich, and everything was so quite and peaceful just the last couple of hours before midnight. I watched the snow on the roof tops of Zurich just before I went to sleep and knew that 2009 is going to be a good year.
My best wishes for you, your gentleman-friend, Selma, and your business for 2009!
Love, Sandra
I am absolutely astonished that you could say anything to hurt anyone’s feelings.
I guess in my little world there isn’t room for anyone that feels you offend.
Happy New Year and Happy Anniversary (I almost spelled it in french, LOL)
Melissas last blog post..Do You Ever Confuse Yourself