Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Ayyyyiiiiiii. What a week.
Thank Goodness It’s The Chicken.
Let’s do it!
The hard stuff
Uncomfortable conversations.
And putting them off.
One of them I’d been wanting to have for months, but have been so upset about it and couldn’t find a way to have a non-upset conversation.
After all that time hoping I’d be able to find the right way to do it, I decided to just go ahead and have the really upset conversation.
And then I decided I was too upset to do it.
Ending relationships.
Some of this was really hard/sad because I didn’t want something to end.
And some of it was hard/sad because I have no idea what took me so long.
Inner turmoil related to conversations and relationships not working.
I spent most of Sunday night crying instead of sleeping.
Really crappy.
Blah blah, transition.
This is really practically a permanent Friday Chicken item at this point, so you’d think I’d get used to everything being in transition all the damn time but no. Still sucks, thank you very much.
It’s not so much the changes I mind (since the way I play business is very much about innovation and form-shifting), but the repositioning that takes place after the changes.
I let about half my staff go this week, which is an important part of the latest transition, and it was really, really hard for everyone involved.
I’ve known for a long time that I need the pirate ship to be way more streamlined, but it’s been hard for me to do.
Very painful. Very uncomfortable. Totally the right thing, but not fun.
Scary pattern.
A year ago I did a stupid, not-thinking, messed up thing. A mistake.
And then yesterday (a year — to the day, almost to the hour), the same mistake. Exactly the same mistake.
Nothing is hurt but my pride, thank goodness. And it didn’t involve anyone but me. But it was still weird and freaky, and started messing with my head.
The gentleman friend being worried about things.
This transition stuff is taking its toll. And when he worries, I worry. And this is not a good time for me to be worried.
Dancing class getting way too hard.
I keep missing classes because of all the mad traveling.
And then the catching-up is so not working. Feeling stupid and uncoordinated. I know, that’s supposed to be something I’m good at. But it’s still painful.
The good stuff
Presents!
Just when I was feeling most miserable and sleep-deprived and not-able-to-stop-crying, presents!
An especially marvelous Pirate Queen necklace (with a duck — can you believe it?) from Insane Jellyfish???
And an assistant for Selma from Romilly (Romilly-who-made-me-socks).
It was excellent up-cheering, and right on time.
The Communicatrix!
Colleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen! Came for a visit!
And so we got to a. spend time with one of my favorite biscuit-ey people and b. turn the study into a guest room. Totally worked.
Plus it was half an answer to a Very Personal Ad she wrote a few weeks ago. How about that?
I rewrote a page that was bugging me.
Have been meaning to redo a lot of stuff on the Shiva Nata site, especially now that we’re sponsoring Roller Derby!
And not getting around to it. Blech.
So this week I just kind of casually rewrote the main page, and it feels so much better. Whew.
Hiro.
Since I spent half the week out-flipping over all these Things Going Wrong, I needed help.
And Hiro was so sweet and reassuring … and managed to sneak in emergency sessions for me and just be a good friend and a smart destuckifier.
I feel so supported and cared for and loved. It’s really great.
My favorite thing.
Every once in a while I throw an Ask Havi Anything call at the Kitchen Table.
These are so much fun.
You wouldn’t believe the stuff people ask. But it’s all extremely entertaining. And useful. And I surprise myself with occasional accidental smartnesses.
Not needing to promote things.
Thank god, because I hate promoting things and refuse to do it, dammit.
I was really getting worried that I’d have to talk up my Kitchen Table program to get the right people to sign up for next year.
But most people there are staying. And there were seventy people on the freaking waiting list before I even got around to thinking about how I would promote it if I had to.
Whew.
And … playing live at the meme beach house!
Yes, that’s a Stuism too.
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
And the fake band of the week is:
Pimping Robot Crustaceans.
I got this from Melle who is @melle on Twitter, and I don’t think context can help this one.
But I can definitely assure you that it’s … just one guy.
And … STUISMS of the week. They’re back.
Stu is my paranoid McCarthy-ist voice-to-text software who delights in torturing me misunderstanding me. I can’t stand him.
- “aiming timing charming” of instead of timing timing timing
- “productivity is groovy you people” instead of productivity guru-ey people
- “Denver Brie assurances” instead of time for reassurances
- “arresting the entire herald” instead of the best thing in the entire world
- “Oh Bosnia curried fabulousness” instead of allows me to curate fabulousness
- “think batsmen grumble parable books I’ve fetch testicle and are” instead of CrankyPants McGrumbleBug’s Kvetchtastic Whine Bar
- “pimping your rubble to stress stations” instead of pimping robot crustaceans
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.
Follow
Oh Stu how I love thee –
because oh that I had all three and
this place really needs to exist
Hmmm, the hard
– throwing a really “lu-ame” party and beating myself up because well I didn’t do what I needed to do to make it be a rockin Ity Bytes party.
– Beating myself up, noticing it and throwing in a few more licks anyway.
– The pain in my butt, that’s really The structures of my back showing signs of too much compression and telling me about it by sending me pain signals in my butt
– stubborn-ness about listening to the above
The good
– noticing exactly when I started beating up on myself
– throwing a “lu-ame” party and seeing that, no it didn’t kill me to mess up publicly or not be perfect
– reflexive breathing and a really simple yoga exercise in which I sit with my back against the wall
– meeting a person I’m donning “Barbara Bad-Ass”
– allowing intuition to guide me (even if it was just a little and I didn’t listen very well)
Not such a bad week, when I think about it.
LaShae “ItyBytes” Dorsey
Oh if only I could convince myself that productivity is groovy. Would save a lot of headaches. Productivity, why don’t you go out and get yourself a tie-dye and some rose-colored glasses and then come back and we’ll talk?
I feel like I’ve been waiting to chicken all week. Just one of those…
Nothing really hard. Just moodiness and an inability to deal with the noise around here. And there’s been a lot of noise. Also, weird body stuff that’s annoying me. Trying to just acknowledge while figuring out what might help. So far, so-called solutions seem to make it worse. Energy flagging over the week until…
The good:
Suddenly yesterday my energy just shifted. One of those unexplainable, miraculous shifts that take you from feeling like a crappy mole on the bottom of civilization’s foot to feeling like you can do whatever the hell you feel like. Yay!
Also, I passed 40k words this morning. My novel is going to need massive amounts of rewrite if it’s even worth bothering with, but hey, 40k words of prose? I’m feeling kind of proud of that.
I took the entire week off next week. It’s my first week off since, um, spring of 2007. So yes, nice.
Happy weekend, everyone!
.-= Emily´s last post … Soul-Spelunking – Another Wacky Exploration in Free-Writing =-.
Oh, this week.
The hard
–Last Friday I was diagnosed with mono, pending some results. That sucked, what with the months-long recovery time. Two days ago I get the call that no, your test results say you DON’T have mono, so now we don’t know WHAT is causing you to have so much fatigue you sometimes have to lie on the floor because sitting up is too much work.
–My team at day-job work is not stepping up to the plate despite explicit requests to do so. Frustrated and feeling like this will never resolve.
–I’m wanting to do so much on my coaching business, but see point #1. Oh, the exhaustion. Oh, the brain fuzz when the exhaustion hits a certain point.
Bah.
The good
–I’m still advocating for myself, medically.
–I’m using this time to really pay attention to taking care of myself, starting with returning to daily journaling and meditation, even if for only five minutes.
–I’m staying in bed, despite feeling like I “should” be doing more.
–My lovely wife loves me a lot and has been really supportive even though this is scaring her too.
This week was definitely a keeping on sort of week. Here’s hoping we all have better weeks next week!
.-= Julie´s last post … How can you tell if you should leave academia? =-.
Hehehehe. I’d agree with Stu that curry does make everything fabulous. Even entire countries.
The hard for me this week:
My girlfriend being sick, sick, sick for days and days. Despite all my attempts, I’ve been unable to help her get well.
And the coughing. Oh, the coughing is so hard on both of us.
Also – had a culmination of HUGE year long process last Saturday (good!). The culmination was so grand, loving, warm, incredible – I loved it. But the days following have been about finding some kind of a footing or direction or something…. which resulted in feeling down and lost… AGAIN. Bah.
Oh, and Twitter. Twitter is hard for me. And I get that it’s important. I get that it’s a goldmine of utter awesomeness and connection and fun. But I keep eyeing it like it’s some kind of exceptionally long algebra equation. I was more a language arts girl. I’ll get there.
The good:
I realized something big about myself that I’ve been trying to make myself do but I really don’t like doing. Going to stop doing that asap. Yeah!
Finally wrote down some ideas that have been rolling around in my head for days but I’ve been too scared to write them down. Whew.
Lemon rinds, ginger peel, a handful of cloves and a cinnamon stick simmering on the stove = delicious smelling home.
Creature Comforts on YouTube. Always cheers me up.
Tom Yum soup. Makes everything better when you don’t feel well. 🙂
That’s it. Oh it’s so good to write out all the good. Makes me feel all bright and shiny.
@LaShae – Here’s to revelling in imperfection.
@Emily – 40k words?! WHOA… You go!
I’m starting to feel for Stu. Some of the stuff you’re asking him to handle is really difficult. Especially the Whine bar…
This week’s hard: Feeling tender around some old hurt. Dealing with it OK, but there’s been some crying and a lot of tired.
Also struggling to get my morning routine sorted out. Yoga, then some work, then the job job seems to take too long. Work, then the job job? Yoga, then the job job? Should I alternate?
Feeling demoralised about my abilities as a publisher/book pusher. Selling comics is so hard! Marketing is so hard! Getting books printed is so hard! It doesn’t pay, I’m tired, waah! *throws a fit* I’m not sure if I’m being petulant or if these are legitimate “I can’t handle this please stop pushing so hard” noises.
The good: The new flat is a DREAM! I have my own kitchen! Everything is warm and dry! I have space to roll around on the floor and to wave my arms around without hitting a lamp! It now even has internet! 😀 Even the boyfriend loves it. So very much worth the hassle of moving.
Taught a workshop at the Victora and Albert Museum on Friday (which is why I missed the chicken last week). In their day programme, the V&A referred to me as a “professional illustrator”. Ha! Never mind that I currently carry my sketchbook around as a talisman more than anything else, because I’m too terrified to put my pencil down. I’m a professional illustrator, the V&A says so. Nya!
Got a shoe thrown in my inbox this morning, BUT I didn’t get too upset. Someone accused me of being rude and unprofessional, after I told him I didn’t want to work with him. It upset me, but instead of yelling at myself for getting upset about something stupid, I allowed myself to be upset, and watched myself argue this out (“No, HE’s unprofessional!”) without getting stuck on it. It helped that this was *clearly* his stuff, and not about what I said or did. Hopefully I can remember what I did here next time someone has a go at me. Thank you Havi for your helpful techniques and concepts. 🙂
I look forward to seeing what booty the leaner pirate ship will bring us. Full faith and warm fuzzies to you, crazy pirate duck lady!
Chicken!
HARD: Bug, virus. In my belly, doing a stomping dance that made me nauseous. Also in my throat. Shtuffy nose, fever, weird shooting pains. General bloop and blech for the past two days.
GOOD. At 3 this morning, lying in bed with my belly roiling around all on its own, gave Bug and Virus a Very Stern Talking-To.
As in: This is my belly and no, you may NOT hang around in here. You have to leave. Now.
Followed by tracking them wherever they lurked in my body, and evicting them. Firmly.
Then fell asleep, and woke up this morning feeling wobbly but intact. In time to teach this morning’s teleclass on Sovereignty! O the irony! 🙂
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Shining Up That Crown =-.
Yay! The chicken!
Hard…
– Hearing that a friend’s marriage is dissolving. Not surprising but still hard.
– Had a day of complete fuzziness. Could not get my brain to work and felt tired and icky. Unfortunately it was the day I was supposed to be really productive. Ugh.
– Some technical junk has been giving me fits. Stupid technical problems!
– Arms still hurt.
Good…
– Dropped another pound. It looks like I’m pushing past my weight plateau.
– Got out of the house and made it to two networking activities. Talking to actual human beings!
– Testing on latest enhancements seems to be going well. Fewer problems encountered than I expected.
– I’m going to my first roller derby event tomorrow. Heard do much about it here I’m super excited to see what it is like. Derby!
.-= Avonelle Lovhaug´s last post … When more is less (or makes you look stupid) =-.
The Hard: Shoes at work. Shoes at home. Shoes in my own head. Everywhere with the shoes, people! If you had an aerial camera, and were looking down at the top of my head, you’d think I was Ruby Keeler in the middle of a Busby Berkeley dance number, but instead of chorus girls, only shoes, forming flowers and stars and waves as they fly toward me from every direction. Sounds prettier than it is.
The Other Hard: Feeling stuck. More than rat-in-a-maze stuck, but just slightly less than kid-in-a-snow-covered maze-with-a-knife-wielding-maniac stuck. The kind of stuck that sucks away the energy to take care of myself, but leaves plenty for feeling crappy about half-assing all the other work that must be done.
The Good: Umm. . . Janet Klein, ukulele chanteuse. http://www.janetklein.com/ Listening to her sing “Hollywood Party” or “Oh, You Nasty Man” frightens away a lot of shoes.
The Other Good: well, you all. How about that?
.-= Melynda´s last post … Thick as Fall’n Leaves in Vallombrosa =-.
Yay chicken! I think I could use some “Denver brie assurances” myself.
HARD: Made a stupid mistake with a client and beat myself up over it.
GOOD: Had an excellent open studio and SOLD ART! I love when people take my paintings home. It’s the reason I paint: to bring beauty and joy into other peoples’ lives. Happy!
.-= Barbara J Carter´s last post … Me, At the Exhibit =-.
@Melynda, I do not envy you the shoes, but the image was awesome! Made me think of “Busby Berkeley Dreams” from the Magnetic Fields.
.-= Julie´s last post … How can you tell if you should leave academia? =-.
Productivity is groovy and Denver Brie would absolutely assure me. Now I’m hungry.
Productivity *should* be groovy (she writes at 11:48 AM, having accomplished nothing all morning…)
The Hard
-I loathe moving. I especially loathe when we’re 90% packed, having only left out the necessities, but we forgot that things like *can openers* and *checkbooks* count as necessities, and C is all “Oh, just pull them out of the box!” Like I have time to open, root through, and re-pack every last box.
-I don’t want to be a housewife, but unless I start making money off writing or find a tangentially writing-related job, that’s where I’m stuck. I *suck* at homemaking!
-Major stuckness: I simply have no confidence in my ability to make money off my writing. It’s a vicious cycle: I never have, so no one will take me seriously, so I never will. You’d think they’d teach *pitching* in j-school!
-The second I get these thank-you notes done, I have to start Christmas cards.
-The holidays, obviously, are overwhelming me, but I’m dreading when they’re over, because that means a long period of tedium. I don’t do well with tedium.
The Good
-C started his new job
-I left my old job
-We have an apartment we really like.
-Once the move is over, I’ll finally have time to concetrate on my writing.
.-= Laura G´s last post … In which I seek a Blogging Buddy (a personal ad). =-.
Oh Havi, I am SO glad that Toby arrived in time to make you feel better. 🙂 I hope he can help Selma as much as he *thinks* he can… LOL
Chicken! (Is it REALLY already Friday?)
The Hard:
STILL Coughing. I’m sure it’s allergy and asthma related, but well… there are issues I have around coughing this much now that I’m 43… and I wouldn’t have thought of them if Dad hadn’t asked me if I was worried. Oops. And the coughing stinks.
Not feeling like I’m getting enough done. Feeling like there isn’t enough time. Overwhelm.
The Good:
I really DID accomplish a lot this week.
Impromptu walk with husband one evening, resulting in:
Seeing a shooting star.
Meeting a doe face to face in the street.
Hand holding. Always a Good Thing(TM)
Did I mention I accomplished a LOT this week?
.-= G. Romilly´s last post … No Dancing or Stitching Zombies Allowed… =-.
@Rebecca – what’s your twitter id, sweetie? Am I following you yet? Because maybe I just need to introduce you to the cool kids. *reminds self to make a list of people-to-follow-if-you’re-new*
@Melynda – awwwwwwwwwwwwww. hug. Not fair. Totally not fair. Stupid shoes. Awesome mental image but stupid stupid shoes. I’m sorry. That sucks.
@Willie – ooh! Is that the personal-ad new flat? Sounds beautiful. Yay. Sorry that someone was an asshat in your inbox – ick! And I love how you didn’t make it about you. That’s huge.
@LaShae – *blows kiss* You rock.
Big hugs all around, happy happy chicken. Owl Be Bock.
THE HARD: Having my tummy tell me it’s time to cut the trip short and head home. I do not like so much being ruled by my tummy, especially when it gets very upset.
THE GOOD: Havi. Gentleman Friend. Delicious food they served me, with heaping helpings of warm hospitality. Ignite! Work the System Boot Camp! Talking to people who talk to the spirits!
And, because I’m a sap, the Good is also (harumph) my tummy telling me it’s time to go home and me listening. We’ve had a long road, the two of us, and it’s good that we can finally speak the same language.
Have a gloooooorious week, dearest Havi (& Co.); I’ll catch you on the flip-flop in the land of sunshine, fruit and nuts.
@havi oh blimey poor you, what a week! much love to you. enjoy a restful weekend.
Denver Brie Assurances? – sounds like an agreement between two mid-West cheese-producing mafia families, ironed out in a warehouse on a dark night.
i like this thought very much.
Wow that’s a lot of hard this week, Chickeneers of the High Seas. All power to your elbows to take next week by the scruff of the neck and throw it around a little bit.
So this week for Lucy: Here goes.
The Hard
it’s not done yet, the report… the deadline…it lurks still and i am desperate for it to be done and over with and sent. i’m going to have to work on Sunday. i never work on Sundays. meh!
i had to spend today working through a huge project that we’ve just got funding for.. loads of work, not enough funding – bleurgh! and it took me away from my report deadline so had to fit in calls to partners who were freaking out about the budget stuff. double bleurgh!
Like you @Laura, i want to write for a living. no idea how i could ever afford it..
The Good
it’s nearly over! my grand plan involves getting the report to sendable stage by thursday night. then it’s done and i can send it two days early, thereby giving myself an extra day the following week which i really need.
it’s nearly over! i can taste it!
it’s friday, i’m on the way home from London, I’m going to relax. going to say hello to my lovely wife and tell her jokes.
lots of love all, have a great weekend xxx
Mercury must be retrograde today, or something. It’s been a good week, all in all, and we are leaving in the morning for a short time away, so of course everything decides to break all at once. However, compared to everyone else’s problems mine are very minor, so I will not complain.
Here’s to a glorious weekend for everyone, and much smooth to help with the hard.
.-= Carol Logan Newbill @2fishweb´s last post … Two Great Ways to Send Your Readers Fleeing into the Night =-.
This week was plain hard on the relationship front. My hubby was in CA for a business conference since last weekend; I, on Boston’s North Shore, since Monday. We are both now back in New York, finishing up the last work day and hoping to reconnect this evening. The time difference and schedules didn’t allow us to really talk for more than 20 minutes TOTAL this past week.
We are new to the work-travel routine and I don’t think we have a good structure set up that enables us to be “together” while apart. I’m fuming, flailing, and frustrated.
No answers yet.
I do wish I understood how Hiro could tell a bug to leave and it does! That power could help me out.
.-= Lydia, Clueless Crafter´s last post … Holidays are Coming! Maxwell’s Maxims for Entertaining =-.
Cluck, Cluck CluUUUUUuuuUck
The Hard: Over.Whelmed.Ness.
Henceforth to be known as “O.W. Nessie”, which makes me think of this big, lurking, pre-historic and somewhat slimy beastie aproximately the size of an Ocean Liner, but who never-the-less is always trying to shove itself (painfully) into the duck pond.
(But not Selma’s pond. It’s a totally DIFFERENT duck pond with totally Different ducks)
The Good: Breaking the accidental-4-month-to-the-day silence on my own blog. Making fun & pretty pictures to go with the post. Doing another chunk-of-lesson for Braincamp. Hitting the ignition switch on the Dissolvomatic. Deciding I don’t care if I drop out of NaNoWrimo again. Love Love Loving the new gorgeous holiday pants even if I don’t have anything to wear with them. Being a wee bit less freaked out. Finally diving into the comments section here to discover a mad wealth of creative, talented, transparently wacky people with huge hearts and dancing musical shoes that inspire and encourage my own madness like that found in this comment.
Cluuuuck!
.-= Tori Deaux´s last post … *Pindrop* Sure is quiet round these parts, ain’t it? =-.
Chicken!
The hard:
An annoying communication blip with a potential client – he sounded like spam, I double checked that he wasn’t, he took it personally and flounced off to talk to the companies who hadn’t wondered if he was spam. Which of course I then fretted needlessly about, because I overreact to disharmony.
The ongoing world of transition that is my working life right now, and the uncertainty that goes with it. It’s so uncertain that I don’t even have any idea when it may be less uncertain. Gah.
An odd thing at lodge. There are two new degrees I could take now. My brethren disagreed quite strongly about which I should take. This is unusual – lodge is normally the land of peace and harmony. And so I’m now worried about making the ‘wrong’ choice. There probably is no wrong choice, but tell that to my tummy.
The good:
New degrees! Yay! This is exciting, whichever I decide to take. And one of them sounds like the coolest degree ever. (Why am I not simply taking that one? Because I’m concerned I may not be ready.)
The growth that comes with all the uncertainty. Good old universe.
Finished a job early this week, and so took a whole day just to work on business and marketing stuff. So great. I wonder whether I could give myself a day for that every week.
Two days after posting my VPA for a matchmaker, someone started talking about a matchmaker-esque proposition. Too early to know for sure whether anything will come of it, but I’m excited. (‘God is *very* quick these days.’)
I’m off to a ceilidh this weekend for the first time in a very, very long time. (This is also a little bit hard, because the music will flash me right back to my childhood, and a load of complicated emotional memories around folky music and events, plus folk music in general creates a beautiful but not comfortable state of longing in me.)
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
Oh, Havi, it sounds like you had a really rough week. Hugs.
The hard:
-Sore throat, congestion, really tired despite lots of naps. Don’t know what I’ve got exactly, but I’m ready for it to go away now.
-This week was the birthday of someone who was my best friend for 27 years, until she told me a few years ago that she didn’t consider me her friend anymore and hadn’t for years and thought I was only pretending to be her friend so she would do me favors, which totally blindsided me since I did her a lot of favors too and figured that’s what friends are for, you know? So her birthday is always sort of a reminder of that pain and confusion.
-My ad appearing on Ravelry, but hardly anyone clicking on it, and not one sale from it.
-Realizing that for my sanity I really need to do my thing full time and ditch the day job but baffled about how to make that possible since I’m living paycheck to paycheck, have about $45 in savings, and have a mortgage to pay. Can’t have a dye studio if I’m homeless. And of course no day job would mean no health insurance.
-Realizing I’ve gained a few pounds and having no idea how, since what I’ve been eating hasn’t changed, and I’m still exercising just as much as when I was losing weight.
The good:
+My gentleman friend. So sweet.
+Thinking maybe I’ll start teaching dyeing to bring in some extra money, if I can work through the stress of talking to a bunch of strangers. Talking to a bunch of strangers = eek!
Seems like there was some other good, but my brain isn’t coming up with it right now.
.-= Riin´s last post … Blog Action Day 2009: Climate Change =-.
Can’t believe it is Friday again already. The bad is that I don’t know what I accomplished all week. Seems like I make a dent and then the divot explodes outward again when I go to make a dent elsewhere.
The good is that I must be making some forward progress right?
I am new, and yes, you are already following me. But if anyone else wants to follow, I am @paganodesign
@Havi. You are so kind. And thoughtful.
I have stuff about writing about myself and having Twitter “followers” (?!?) and writing the right thing. So I don’t have an ID yet. I’m still hiding. Well, I guess not entirely because I am commenting here more regularly. *Exhale* Yay me.
I realized that I’m afraid of bars because I’m pretty afraid of drunks. But I’m realizing that a virtual bar like Twitter is not a place where “actual” drunks hang out. So I can stop that particular freak out cycle. 🙂
When I’m feeling less intimidated by Twitter I will definitely say hello to you. Because that would be so fun.
Here are {huge hugs} for you, for all the hard you had to deal with this week. And thank you once again for the hugs you gave me when I needed it.
What comes to mind right now as my hard this week: feeling stagnant.
The good: noticing some tiny little things that can be counted as forward movement, and hoping that they will induce a ripple effect that will reach the other things I want to see moving forward too.
.-= Josiane´s last post … Noticing – the dragonfly edition =-.
@Rebecca Yes, you can keep all the drunks away really easily on Twitter! I don’t like drunk people either, and don’t do bars much, but I love Twitter.
@Havi yes, the flat has everything that was on the list. It is completely mould free, has no crazy or noisy neighbours and is full of space! Hurray! Space!
I think the asshat in my inbox was really a secret message from my fairy godmother to tell me that sometimes, people blow up at you for no reason, and it really sucks, but at the same time, it’s not the end of the world and it doesn’t mean you’re doing everything wrong. It’s just one blip of data, and you have to weigh it against everything else.
And yes, that is huge.
I dig the new Shiva Nata front page. I’d been curious for quite a while what it looked like. Also has me thinking, is level one…um, slower? ‘Cuz damn–cool but speedy. Flip side, totally want to see what level 7 looks like now. 🙂
The hard: feel like my ask was off for this week, which I kind of knew going in.
Getting yelled at unnecessarily.
The good: Cutting myself slack for the mis-ask and working on stuff I want to do instead. Not letting the yelling get to me much because I could see it was the result of an unvoiced ask on her part.
Chocolate cream pie from BJ’s. Also, honey crisp apples. Yum!
.-= claire´s last post … Dance Dance Revolution: The Metaphor =-.
Wowie. Havi! That’s some hard stuff this week!
ok.
The Hard:
-adjusting to being at home after a month on the road. My brain was on auto-pilot for a month…now I have to make decisions about what I want/need to do each day.
-minor breakdown about not doing my thing. feeling better now.
The Good:
-going to the gym everyday…early in the morning. My girlfriend signed up for Boot Camp, so I walk her there i the morning and continue on to the gym.
-lunch with a good friend
-wrote some music
-brunch with girlfriend and another awesome friend
mostly good stuff this week.
and in 2 hours…going out for OYSTERS!
Happy Friday everyone!
.-= Christine Bougie´s last post … Random: books, music, podcasts, etc =-.
Pass the curried fabulousness, please! Mmm…curry.
The hard this week:
Sick! So, so sick. Productivity down to near-zero. Tired but sleep won’t come. Oh, and hoarse.
The good:
Still managed to get a blog post out this week, after some help with releasing restrictions from my awesome support network.
Thanks to encouragement from friends, I’m teaching a class on Sunday!
.-= Victoria Brouhard´s last post … Quitting the Man: 20 Days Since Freedom =-.
The hard this week:
– My web host has been down on 3 separate occasions, for several hours each time. They are apologetic, but offer few solutions. I don’t want to leave them, but I may have no choice. Blech.
– Sick children and sick husband. This means that I am holding up the household, and it’s tiring.
The good this week:
– I have been well in the midst of the sickness. I am grateful for that.
– I have a shiny new laptop, and that makes me smile.
– The way my 1-year-old just never stops DOING stuff, even when he’s sick. It inspires me.
.-= Amber´s last post … Self-Promotion Is No Fun =-.
This one’s long, apparently I’m in a thinky mood. Heh.
The Hard
– It’s been a bleak place inside me this week, as things aren’t selling in the Etsy shop and in general I’m wondering if all the time & effort to launch the site was wasted. Bah.
– Stirred up Stuff about being Not Good Enough at Much of Anything. Got to the point where that annoying little voice had an annoying little voice of its own mocking it. I am sarcastic even to myself. Oi.
– Lots of cancelled things this week so I didn’t get out much, which while it feeds my inner hedgehog does get to be too much after all while even for me.
– Thing I had hoped would turn into a nice end-of-year project has been received with sticker shock and delay. Sigh.
– Disorganized, disenchanted, discombobulated, and disappointed. Too much Dis!
The Good
+ Cold means cuddly kittehs, and the older one’s back to sleeping in bed at night despite the pesky younger one.
+ Gorgeous rain today!
+ Tonight’s almost-cancelled thing is not cancelled after all, yay!
+ Got off my butt and organized some stuff yesterday, and got a big pile of little client work out of the way, with a very coherent list for the rest.
+ Big Project of Slowness is plodding along at a steady if not fast pace, and coming out beautifully.
+ I’m getting my art all organized and posted and it’s good to revisit the stories. People are telling me they like the stories, too, and the in-progress pics for stuff for which I have such things.
+ Dubiously decided to try Republic of Tea’s Chocolate Coconut Herbal Tea after being disappointed earlier in the year by Mighty Leaf’s Masala Chocolate Truffle and was VERY pleasantly surprised. With a double dollop of cream and my usual amount of sugar it’s absolutely delicious, and a lot better for me than instant cocoa.
+ Pod says hi.
The Interesting
= I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about art, and about what I love in art, and while I often end up in the Eeyore place of “I’ll never be as good as X” I also realize that I’m not sure I want to be. I love the elements of randomness, of unfinished-ness and roughness that show up in my work, the fact that it’s always a painting before it’s a fish or a tower or a person. I love seeing the strokes of the brush and the history they leave on the canvas, I love it when things go a little weird and un-smooth, or at least I do later on, even though sometimes I wish I could fix it in the now. And so while a part of me wants to learn regimented, realistic technique of the old masters or whatever, the rest of me likes the looser, unfinshed entropy present in my work in the now.
.-= Amy Crook´s last post … Antemortem Arts is ALIVE! =-.
And now that I’ve read through and reminded myself that the cure for my apparently self-centered social awkwardness is to try to reach out even when it’s scary…
I’m so sorry for your hard, Havi. But it’s something to be proud of, that you did the thing, that you’re shaping up you Ship and that you have all this wonderful support to help you through it.
And even more, that even in the midst of your stormy seas, you offer this place of calm and support for the rest of us.
.-= Amy Crook´s last post … Antemortem Arts is ALIVE! =-.
The Heavenly:
Carol Logan who I discovered through posting a Personal Ad was able to answer my questions about my ebook and may be just the perfect person to help me get my book out there.
Lorraine Arams from my WriteSpeak Part 1 course are getting along famously and creating our books together at lightening speed with spirit and inspiration that seems boundless. Entirely blessed here.
Wendy Cholbi and her amazing understanding that I can’t transcribe technical material – gives me panic attacks!
Mayurai who is reviewing my sales page in exchange for services that I feel more than competent in providing.
The Hazardous:
Asking tough questions, making direct honest observations and ending a relationship that has the most faboulous potential for the strongest lemonade ever: a tonic for the truly heartsick
Mood instabiity and feeling my purpose for living is to offer my smarts and money to my kids but if it were up to me, I’d be off to a monastery for life.
Complete mistrust in most people unless I’m paying them for services that I very clearly understand and am keeping a watchful eye on every detail – it takes a lot of energy to do this.
Lacking trustworthy person to person live relationships which makes my limbic system needy and bonkers.
.-= Char´s last post … Be Kind 2 Mind: Glenn Close goes to Bat for Her Sis =-.
Hugs for the hard, Havi, and I hope next week goes much smoover for you.
This week kind of flew by, again.
The hard:
Sleepless nights. I really don’t function well if I don’t sleep well. I can look and act like a normal person, but inside it is all a mess. And sometimes the mess leaks out.
Actual mess in the house. Because I have deadlines, so housework goes to heck when I have deadlines. And needing it to be cleaner because I had a photo shoot today. So extra stress with a side of stress.
The good:
Boy Scout popcorn. Yum.
Finding cool new friends in this community 🙂
The photo shoot went so well it was awesome. I might even be up for another one. In a few months 😉
The funny:
When I do things like the photo shoot, I go into “girl drag” (makeup and dressing a little nicer). That elicits funny responses from people in my life.
And now I’m ending because I feel like I’m starting to blather. Long week. Glad to be in pajamas. Still have deadlines looming but at least I don’t have to shave my legs for any of them 😉
.-= Andi´s last post … Wishcasting Wednesday =-.
Special healing hugs for all those struggling with illness — may you all feel so much better so very soon.
The Hard:
–Getting the credit card bill for the incorrectly self-marketed “Trip of a Lifetime” that turned out to be not that. Although it was a trip full of life lessons if I can be conscious enough to put on my detective hat and figure out all that I’m supposed to learn from it. But hard nonetheless thinking I could have spent this money (and vacation time) better.
–Trying to make myself feel better in ways that don’t work. Like buying things. Like an iPhone. Which is cool and all, but really way more than I needed on a lot of levels. But I let myself be talked into it because, well, I was a pretty easy mark because I was so hungry for a little piece of happiness. Even though I know better than to look for it in Things.
–Pretty much all the things/themes from last week that were Hard are still hard (day job b.s., relationship churn, tree damage to house from windstorm.
–And not looking forward to Thanksgiving. Blargh.
The Good:
–Finding a new kindred spirit to soldier through the hard with.
–Awesome friends.
–Feeling that I did “bottom out” and am starting to float back upwards.
–Chicken!
–Havi’s timely post about timing, which really helped cement something that I had been struggling with. And having the courage to say no to a deadline I had given myself that I just wasn’t up to doing.
Metaphorical Chicken(!) soup to all those under the weather. Hugs all around for all the hard. High fives and more hugs for the good.
—
The list is long this week, but the big thing was the hard/good of having the tooth fairy lose her wings in our house. Hard to watch the magic of childhood disappear piece by piece. Good to remember that real magic never disappears.
The ache of watching my little boy disappear and the pride in watching his independence grow. All at the very same time.
.-= Liz´s last post … High Fives…When the tooth fairy loses her wings =-.
Chickening this week from a dark corner in a noisy bar — not my usual scene at all, but I’m on a date, and there’s live music.
Hard:
-A bad mistake I’d been making in my work came home to roost this week, causing me to lose face pretty badly, leaving me to grapple with shame and guilt. (Damn, that’s two days in a row that I’ve mentioned feeling ashamed in my comment. *Not. Good.*) What’s extra frustating is that I’d spent the past six months working to fix the problem, and I *did* make giant strides, but too little too late, I guess, so I’m left feeling that it was all for naught. Damn. Damn. Damn.
Good:
+Got to share a proud moment with my daughter.
+Got to explore the place where I’ll start a new contract next month, and I like it! Very exciting!
+I get to go on two dates this weekend, one with each of my sweeties. Yay!
Wishing you a peaceful weekend, Havi, and a much better week to come. My best to all! (And my apologies for any typos; it’s hard to read this itty bitty font on my phone’s little screen.)
Oh my goodness, so many good things and hard things.
my big good is that I’m done giving the talk that I had 10,000 kinds of ambivalence about doing. Plus it went wildly better than expected and made me realize maybe I’m not the world’s most tragic spaz after all.
related good is that I promised myself a treat for surviving it, and have decided on a stupidly fluffy and nice-to-pet turkish bathrobe. It’s work attire!
my big hard is that I am just working working working working and I still can’t catch up. But this is the time for that, so I am getting in touch with my Beatrix Kiddo and punching away. Still, I don’t like working this many hours and it’s hard.
my little hard is that it’s been a million years since I posted on the blog, since all my fresh content is going to the email list. my little good is that Naomi reminded me I could take dates off my posts. 🙂
.-= Sonia Simone´s last post … What Makes Marketing Hard? =-.
hard…
humm struggling with tiredness just the left over of lots of work for many months
the house is a mess ! but I have no energy to deal with it
my lodger has given her notice so am wondering if to let room before christmas after christmas or what?
the good !
I have done a schedule for a playshop – well recieved !
I’m having a day OFF
I got my lomo lCA fixed
And I get to play with my new lubitel camera !
This week’s balance. I’m in a positive mood, so there’s more good than hard that I can think of. Yay!
– Hitting an all-time low on procrastination.
+ Finally getting the Dissolve O’Matic and working with it. That was a good decision. Already feeling teetiny shifts in mindset.
+ Condensing the Dissertation To Do List to 7 instead of 9 chapters. The deadline (ack!) is firm, so the amount of work had to shrink. Instant wiggle room in the time schedule. Phew.
+ Grateful for good health. I cannot afford to catch any kind of bug until mid 2010, therefore taking good care of myself.
+ Looking forward to 4 weeks of hermitdom at home to write, write, write.
Have a great week Chickeneers, and smooth sailing to ye pirate ship, Havi!
“Ayyyyiiiiiii. What a week” – Indeed
Let’s do this thing:
The hard:
– Work work work – still with the broken ribs. So Very Tired, but have to keep going. I get that sinking feeling that everyone *else* on the team thinks I’m an idiot and other irrational fatigue-based fears.
– Closing in on the *end* of work, which means less money in the house
The good:
+ The Hippie Husband came home from visiting his mom. So very nice to have the snuggle back, and the support, and the company.
+ Ribs are definitely healing – hoping to be able to move normally in time for Sacramento class
+ Project is coming to a close – big deal site that will be Most Impressive, when I can finally announce that we’ve gone live. Nice to be nearing completion and kind of hoping that I won’t get another job right away – I need some rest.
+ Sacramento coming up in 2 weeks! OMG – nearly three days of destuckifying, learning, and hanging out with amazing people. (Well, one day of class, plus the night before and the one after, right?) REALLY looking forward to working on MY stuff after a too-long hiatus.
Happy chicken everyone – and hopes for an excellent weekend all around
.-= Casey´s last post … casey_cole: @richardmiller I think I did swing post-punk, pre-Scoot. How do we name my phases after all these years, my old friend? =-.
@Rebecca – Aw. It doesn’t have to be a bar if you don’t like bars! It can be a cafe. Or a wine bar where no one ever has more than half a glass.
Or whatever you want. Twitter is for *you*. The main thing is to follow people you like and ignore or unfollow anyone who isn’t your people. Or block, if they’re rude.
If/when you decide to have a decaffeinated beverage with me there, send me an @ reply or a direct message. I won’t tell anyone you’re there if you don’t want me too. But I’m happy to make recommendations about really, really sweet, non-mean people to follow to get started.
Like @SecretWormy. And @ZenAtPlay. And @victoriashmoria. And @Germinational. And everyone here whom I’m blanking on.
Anyway, I’ll stop evangelizing. But if you show up that is beautiful and I will do what I can to help make it seem like a safe, cozy place!
@claire – oh, level one is much slower. when you’re learning. then you get to do it fast. but not the first time or anything!
@AmyCrooks – hug.
@Pidge – ohhhh. Sorry for all the hard! No fun AT ALL>
And, if it makes you feel better, last year when the Communicatrix was in town, she harassed me into iPhone-ing it up. And at first I was all, oh nooooo, I just bought the most expensive phone in the world.
But then I realized that I had actually bought a really affordable, amazing computer that does ridiculously cool things, including, occasionally, making phone calls.
So the Communicatrix was right. As always. And I am positive you will fall madly if belatedly in love with the iPhone. But if that doesn’t make you feel better, ignore it completely! 🙂
Argh! Fridays keep getting away from me, and this week Saturday whizzed by as well before I could stop it. But I’m Doing the Chicken, Dammit.
Hard this week:
– Kind of everything, in a way. It feels as though no important aspect of my life is in equilibrium at the moment. This isn’t universally bad, but it’s hard work.
– The weather. We weren’t flooded where I live, thank goodness, but we had a roof leak. The world is soggy and cold.
– I’m not doing my Thing – any of my Things, in fact. I’ve been trying to finish a blog post for three days. My novel is itching at me, but I simply don’t have any space for it. The sock I’m knitting doesn’t fit. Moan whine whinge complain.
Good this week:
+ My chamber choir kicked ass at the Sligo Choral Festival, winning both of our competitions. Never mind the winning, though – our performances were transcendent. Which is nice.
+ The weather cleared on Friday to perfect, crisp, winter sunshine, and we went to Dublin Zoo with a group of home-ed families. It was magic.
+ My fabulous mother-in-law came round and we spent the afternoon gardening (taking breaks when the rain got too heavy). Planted a tree and a reed and about 100 bulbs. Bulbs!
.-= Lean Ni Chuilleanain (@leannich)´s last post … Lace Shawl in Progress =-.
Wow – big Chicken response this week. (Sorry everyone, I skimmed a bit…)
Er…
Hard
~ Finding a joint vision of our last 10 days in Singapore (before UK December). Well, not that hard actually, but the fight that lead me to *notice* we needed to do that – a bit hard.
~ Receipts.
~ Finance calls.
Good
~ Writing.
~ Having comments.
~ Pema Chodron (sorry Pema – can’t be assed with the umlauts).
~ Having the relationship I’ve always wanted.
~ TEN YEAR anniversary of that relationship! Huh. We’re old married couple.
~ Christmas-dinner-in-November (along with charades with Yanks).
~ Christmas budget (instead of swirling ignoring).
~ Hiro on Sovereignty.
~ Walking an hour a day.
~ Receipts = emotionally neutral. (Before – cliff-divingly-dizzyingly-pukey-terrifying. Good shift, eh?).
~ First forays into ShivaNata craziness.
~ This. This group of people. It’s good.
***
Thanks, all.
.-= Andrew Lightheart @alightheart´s last post … Friday list #3 – Yay four and half steps! =-.
Ok, so.. My first chicken!
Here it goes:
The Hard
– Been behaving in ways that make me like myself less. Eating junk, being judgmental, not taking time to practice yoga or any other sort of spiritual practice
– Was really annoyed at one of the guys I’m traveling with, and torn about whether to split off from the group to go to Koh Kong Island in Cambodia, before heading to Phu Quoc in Vietnam
– Have been upset at myself for a while for not updating my blog in ages of ages.
– Being upset at myself for being upset at myself
The Good
– Decided to stay with the group and head to Phu Quoc because I knew one of the good friends I made while traveling in New Zealand was somewhere around the Mekong delta. Turns out, she arrived at Phu Quoc the day before me! So we got to hang out again for a couple of days. Yay synchronicity!
– Being close to the sea and the proximity of my friend’s fierce independence (I hadn’t run into her yet, but I had a whole conversation with her in my head), helped me decide that I need to travel by myself right now.
– Breakthrough! I finally updated my blog with all the STUFF that was holding me back from writing in the first place. And it was majorly helpful in helping me make some decisions that will result in me liking myself more. In fact, it’s already working!
– Giving myself permission to freak out about having to actually turning these decisions into actions.
Whew… This chicken thing really helps!
.-= Melody´s last post … Stuffed! I reached my limit… =-.