Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Selma and I are in Sacramento because one never goes to Sacramento without a good reason we got flown out to teach a seminar.
And we’re also doing our Mad Biggification Day there today. Huzzah. We’re probably doing something goofy and transformational right this second. Awesome.
On to the week.
The hard stuff
Doing way too many things at once.
Having one new program (Biggification 2010), one old program (the Kitchen Table) and an enormous retreat all being announced at the same time is big.
A lot of big.
Every single element in the big is good. The combination of elements of big is hard. EXTREMELY hard.
I have been learning stuff. Oof. Stupid learning.
Luckily Hiro has helped me with the preserving sanity part, and reminding me to access the fun parts.
Because otherwise I would have torn my hair out instead of just chopping at it.
Oh, dear.
This is more funny-hard than hard-hard. I gave myself one of my patented Haircuts of Despair and chopped a few inches.
Now I’m wearing braids until I get used to this. And I look like I’m twelve years old.
For some reason I always do this right before a live teaching event — pretty much the worst time to do it. So yeah.
Conclusions.
Other people jumping to them. Blame and meanness.
Administrative nightmares.
So I suck at math. But even if I didn’t.
I have a hundred people on the waiting list for the Kitchen Table. And figuring out who’s staying and who’s going … is more complicated than I’d thought.
We ended up doing an anonymous survey (which was helpful) and making some Useful Procedures for next year, but that totally added to the hard.
I hate launching stuff almost as much as I hate the word ‘launch’.
From now on I’m calling it brunch instead of launch, like Tara the Blonde Chicken does.
Either way, it’s sooooooo much work.
I know I already put this in the hard, but it really belongs here twice. At least. Because I was brunching three different things at once.
Which is absurd.
All those tiny last minute details. Overwhelming and exhausting.
Travel! Again!
Grumble-grumble-busy-grumble.
The good stuff
Thrice brunched!
Despite the fact that as late as Sunday morning I wasn’t sure if we could pull any of it off this week, by Monday evening we were good to go.
Thanks to some Hiro magic and some Shivanautical epiphanies, I was in the zone.
Everything got done. Everything worked. It was brilliant.
Also thanks to Amna for much support, cheering, hand-holding and the delightful phrase “thrice brunched”, which really needs to go on a shirt or something.
Oh, how I love being right.
I especially like being foolhardy and right.
It’s such a pleasurable drug that someone should just go ahead and put it in pill form.
So part of my brunching madness has been related to me bucking conventional wisdom at every turn.
I kind of do that anyway, as my modus operandi, so I’m generally confident that it will work.
But it’s still really scary when every single person you know tells you that it takes 9–12 months to promote and fill a retreat. And you’re planning on announcing yours maybe six weeks before it happens.
I haven’t promoted anything. Just told my clients and briefly mentioned its existence in the Item post. And almost all the spots at the Destuckification Retreat are taken.
Or, for example, people said I needed to write copy explaining why someone would want to do Biggification 2010, since, you know, it’s a year-long program and a very substantial financial investment. Blah blah benefits.
I didn’t. Because I didn’t feel like it.
And because the whole point of using the stuff I teach to biggify yourself in a mindful way is that you get to the point where you don’t have to convince people of stuff.
And? We already have more applications than we know what to do with. Bombarded.
It’s not like I wouldn’t keep doing things my way anyway, because I would. But being justified in blowing off everyone’s advice is such a great feeling.
Best/weirdest promotion ever.
In addition to all the other weird things I did at the Kitchen Table, I promised a loaf of my famous no-sugar hand-made bread to the first ten people who renewed their membership.
Which means I got to have the best baking day ever.
I put on The Clash (London Calling). And I put on my skull and crossbones apron. And got absolutely covered in flour.
Fun!
Got a big project taken care of.
Completely rewrote the Kitchen Table member mice Guidebook, which took forever and a half, but still not as long as I was afraid it might.
And then made a 12-part Twitter-length version in case no one actually ends up reading it.
I amuse myself.
Foods. Again with the foods.
My gentleman friend made a green tomato salsa that is out of this world. Tomatoes courtesy of the Hoppy House garden. Yay!
He also made this crazy (but delicious) spicy yellow pita bread. Turmeric pita. With peppers. This later became the famous turmeric … rolls.*
*Ah, yes. See the fake band of the week at the bottom of the post for details.
Plus now we’re in Sacramento so we can eat sandwiches at Dad’s Cafe. Yum! Yes, I agreed to teach a seminar because of the sandwiches.
Slings & Arrows.
I met Marcie last year in Austin at SXSW at Sarah‘s party. I like Marcie.
And she recommended this short-lived Canadian television series called Slings & Arrows. Highly. Very.
And when Marcie recommends, I track that stuff down.
It is excellent. So completely to my tastes. My gentleman friend likes it too. This may even begin to rival our mysterious Black Books obsession.
This was nice.
Me: “Hey, someone on Twitter thinks I’m funny and sweet. See? See?”
The gentleman friend:
“Yeah, I like how you’re funny and sweet too, but I really like how you’re dark and mean.”
Oh, he totally gets it.
Derby banner! Derby banner!
I already told you guys that I’m sponsoring my favorite Roller Derby team, right?
Well, sponsoring it as a Shivanaut, hoping to promote mad coordination epiphany-generating techniques while I’m at it. But basically I just want to throw support at the self-proclaimed gayest team in Derby.
Because Selma and I love the Guns N Rollers!
Anyway, the banner arrived. You can’t tell how hot it is from the picture, but I’ll put it in anyway.
And … playing live at the meme beach house!
Yes, that’s a Stuism too.
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week it’s all about …
The Turmeric Rolls
They are, of course, best known for their cover of that one song.
Oh. Worst. Pun. Ever.
And … STUISMS of the week.
Stu is my paranoid McCarthy-ist voice-to-text software who delights in torturing me misunderstanding me. I can’t stand him.
- “but the bird magnifiers or stop at an international start” instead of but the word biggifier is not without a dash of snark
- “it’s a 20 inch of explaining how Maine chokes” instead of it’s one big in-joke explaining all my in-jokes
- “I’m in a Henneman for kicks” instead of going to hate on me for this
- “he starred in a concerning landless trend” instead of I started a disturbing lentil list trend
- “Week stew zooms of the weak” instead of Stuisms of the week
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.
Follow
Groan on the pun, or is that bun ? 🙂
This week:
Hard:
Getting my check from the San Jose Museum and seeing that they sold a $450 piece for $150. Total freakout ensued, including search for paperwork and frantic yet calm email (me frantic in sending it but maintaining calm demeanor and being gracious in writing it; amazing).
Good:
Maintaining calm demeanor and being gracious in sending email. Again, amazing.
Good:
Return email from San Jose saying “oops” and second check is on way with art.
Hard:
SJ shipped quilt via UPS to my PO Box so now I get to play phone tag w/UPS on Monday.
Good:
I do have tracking for the box and yay, art and payment.
Good:
I began stitching on my book piece and have 1/3 complete already.
Good:
DD #2 turned 20 on Tuesday. Weather was perfect and DH had pre-bought cheap zoo tickets so we went to the zoo. Saw a penguin do the hokey pokey, the red pandas were really active, and the gorilla did sign language for us. Plus DD#2 did not get angry at her brother for teasing her about being bitten by a goose way back when. Amazing.
Good:
The weather is kind of icky so I don’t mind sitting inside in my pajamas stitching like a fiend and watching Northern Exposure on DVD.
I will wave at you all from my comfy sofa, have a great weekend!
.-= Andi´s last post … Biggify =-.
Thank goodness for the Friday chicken! I needed some today.
The hard:
–My lovely wife is having an ever-so-slightly depressed mood, and when that happens, she’s constantly paranoid that I’m mad at her and that she’s done something wrong. Which leads to … me being annoyed that she’s constantly paranoid. Yeah. Good times.
–Money went totally pear-shaped this week. I can fix it, but now I have to fix it.
–All of that working-from-home-because-of-the-awful-sick meant that when I did finally make it back to the office, it was … overwhelming.
–I keep waking up in the middle of the night and taking a few hours to go back to sleep. I do not enjoy this pattern.
The good:
–Feeling better! Thank the Goddess for really strong antibiotics and a kindly ENT.
–Some plans for 2010 that I’m really excited about have started gestating in my imagination. Products!
–Hanging out with my awesome work colleagues again.
–Have I mentioned feeling better? After two months of being so exhausted getting out of bed was a horrible prospect, yay energy!
.-= Julie´s last post … Recovering yourself after academia =-.
You did not just rickroll the entire Fluent Self universe! I love it!
Here goes–
The Hard:
– Big, big leftover hard from last week that I’m not addressing. It’s like the old veggies at the back of the fridge: I’m not wanting to deal with the veggies that are going bad, not liking myself for being the kind of person who lets veggies go bad. Argh!
– Dealing with some totally unwarranted shoes thrown at me. I’m thinking some sovereignty work might be in order.
– Also: winter suddenly arrived here with a vengeance right on December 1. Whoa!
The Good:
– After waking up in pain for 2 weeks or so, I discovered the best pillow ever created (by NASA, no less!). I still cannot believe I spent that much money on a friggin’ pillow but oh man, is it lovely.
– Really working on stuff, which is both hard and good. Sudden realizations popping up like mushrooms.
– Um, my first ever chicken! Hmm, this is incredibly useful (and fun), thanks for inventing it.
Happy chicken everyone.
I am taking the Hard and the Good and combining it this week to make The Awesome – two important things rolled into one.
In my class last night my prof was teaching a drawing technique that looked utterly terrifying. How will I ever do THAT? A classmate commented that this technique looked easier than the last one we learned. The prof seemed pleased until I said that I thought it looked utterly terrifying. Completely. “Oh now,” said the prof, “you did a great job with the last one. This one won’t be a problem.”
In a flash, I straightened my back (from my slumped posture) raised my chin and said “I am allowed to be totally afraid of something and then be really good at it!” She laughed and responded “Yes, you are.”
Maybe the whole class didn’t need to be in on my self-affirmation and I hope that my fear didn’t feel like a shoe to my classmate, but nonetheless Sovereignty Rocks! Dammit!
.-= Lauren´s last post … Everything Old Is New Again =-.
Hmmm…
Hard:
Being side-swiped by old freak-out money stuff, whilst (unconsciously) hitting a big we’re-moving-house-everyone’s-leaving-me samskara because we’d packed up the house too early for our December UK trip.
KERPOW!
Good:
~ Back in UK for a month. Frosty. Family. Bread. Cheese. (Those are separate items).
~ Still writing (Thank you VPA).
~ Yin Yoga DVD arrived today.
~ Pema Chodron.
~ Client booking big chunk of work for APRIL. I know – I have a forward order book, like a real business person.
~ Mahala asking me to do something exciting. And secret. Woo hoo!
.-= Andrew Lightheart @alightheart´s last post … You are so wrong =-.
Havi, wishing you a wonderful workshop-weekend!
Hard this week:
– A dear friend of our family’s died very suddenly yesterday of a heart attack. We’re stunned and grieving.
– Re-affirming boundaries that I thought were clearly defined. This upset some people.
– Feeling a huge need for silence and spaciousness, and feeling overwhelmed by the lack of these.
The good this week:
+ Long talks with my best friend of more than twenty years, for whom I’m so grateful.
+ An incredible gift that was given to me this week.
+ Beautiful work with clients, who are experiencing huge shifts in their lives as a result.
+ Some quiet time opening up later today.
Have a peaceful weekend, everyone.
Love, Hiro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Follow the Yellow Brick Road — Create the new story of your business in 2010 =-.
Heating doesn’t work, it’s freezing in our appartment, but apparently it is being fixed right now. So here comes my eskimo chicken:
The hard stuff was:
-Got shoes thrown at me during talk with my bosses, especially a comment that I am not stress-resistant enough annoyed me. I was ill three times this year before or after major-ey work stuff – a sign I should be doing something else but you don’t really say this to your boss in a feedback session
– Did not feel sovereign at all during talk
– Prolongation of contract is sitting on my desk waiting to be signed. This gives me major torments between sticking to old patterns and wanting lo leave, between moments of courage and moments of non-courage ie. fear.
– Why can it be so hard to feel or to listen to what one really wants????
The good:
– After the shoe throwing thing yesterday I did ex.6 of Barbara Sher’s “Wishcraft”, version one called “Praise be”. Well, a slight variation: I emailed 12 people I trust, asking them to write what’s good about me. I have received four emails so far, all so delightful and open and heart-warming and a great counterbalance to the talk at work. So now I have roses thrown at me.
– Had a sound bowl massage – amazing.
Have a wonderful weekend everyone.
So … never done the chicken so publicly before … but that’s one of my things I’m working on – being out in the world, not like the invisible girl in that Buffy episode.
The Hard …
—Snowy, cold December has arrived. Not feeling the magic of the holidays quite yet, so ugh.
—Bad planning = me in the vortex of multiple deadlines crashing into each other. ACK!!!! (I did get these things done and I was pleased, but still annoyed at my own lack of planning!)
—Researching bugs for a client project and watching an icky insect video and almost throwing up when I saw the Termite queen and her nasty pulsating world (just thinking of this makes me want to barf!) …
—A goals partnership which is proving rather uneven … I’m giving a lot to a person who is not very open to receiving or sharing her process. And, because it is a friend and not one of my students, I’m doing a messy, crappy job of being a goals partner … and I’m frustrated with my friend and myself. I realize that partnership is about give-and-take, and I’ve gotten a lot of clarity about what I want from the process, and weird/uncomfortable as it might be, I’m willing to step away from the goals partnership to find one that fits better and really, really nourishes me. And, I think I can do that and keep this friend as a friend who I enjoy! But, for now … yuck, this is hard.
—Stayed up WAY too late a couple nights and got myself WAY tired … to the point I was actually almost crying yesterday. And, I missed my workout … generally feeling time crunched and not liking it.
—Had to go to Walmart. That’s enough, right? Bought the wrong size underwear (too small) so I have to go back there now. Discovered Target has same underwear, so bought some there. And, it was too big. Seriously?? Probably TMI.
The Good …
—Got a surprise invite on Monday to be part of something I’m really excited about. Yay!
—Goddess Leonie’s sleep meditation! Love this thing … love her voice.
—My Loft Topical Essay students are doing amazing work. I can see they’re finding their right paths. And, the words that are coming out of them are just plain old WOW! Even after just 15 minutes of writing … gorgeous!
—Wrote a letter I’m really proud of to a concerned friend and told her exactly what was going on with me instead of being all vague about it. Got really vulnerable and shared my actual thoughts. And, it felt like sovereignty.
—Two Office Spa Days and my Inspired Organizing class this week! Yay! Love Jen Hoffman.
—Cool Cairene class this week, too — nice gift and it inspired me to make a collage!!
—Lots of time with my sweetie! Lovely to have him around the house. Feel so blessed.
—Got a call from a dear friend this week and got to catch up and thank her for the lovely box of homemade peanut brittle.
—The pay-to-be-sane lane.
—Was down at my weigh-in
—I’m almost ready with this month’s goals and I’ve almost finished the Fall Report and wrap up.
—Made beautiful evergreen and other decorative stuff planters for outside. WOW!!! They are so pretty.
.-= Sarah Tieck´s last post … Photo Inspiration #6: Birds! =-.
@Hiro — Sorry to hear about your friend! Hugs.
With mention of your other good friend, though, you reminded me of one more good … I had a yummy dinner out with my good friend this week. Was a lovely chance to talk and catch up.
.-= Sarah Tieck´s last post … Photo Inspiration #6: Birds! =-.
Hi Havi! Hi Selma! Hi everyone else! I’m in Orlando, the second circle of hell (Vegas would be the first). Conferencing again. With sweaty hands because I forgot that it’s warmer in Florida than Chicago, so I’m dressed, uh, inappropriately. (Stripey socks and all.) But anyway, yay chicken!
Hard this week:
-Gah! Still sick. Get off my chest you jerk gorilla!
-Orlando. While sick, no less. Nuff said.
-Sharing a condo with two co-workers and just one Internet hookup. The work piling up while not connected is like another gorilla. Feeling squished.
Good:
-My dad scanned and posted all of the old slides of pictures he took from 1976 through 1986, and seeing us all (me, my three sisters, mom and dad) when we were young? My heart is warm just thinking about it. There are also pics of my grandparents, and since they’re all gone now, it was wonderful to see photos of them doing their thing. My grandpa Buck standing next to corn in his garden twice as tall as he was! Awesome.
-I made it through NaNoWriMo and actually have a rough first draft of a novel that might be worth working on some more!
-(Giving myself permission to ignore the novel for two weeks so I can come back to it refreshed and with new ideas.)
-Making time for doing a dreamboard. Always a powerful process for me to consider what I’ll focus on for the next moonth.
-Pomegranates!
.-= Emily´s last post … December’s Cold Moon – Full Moon Dreamboarding =-.
Friiiiday Chickeneers of the High Seas!
@havi glad you enjoyed your thrice brunched moment. sounded great. also would very much like to try your GF’s green tomato salsa. and thanks for DM of celebration.
@julie i empathise on the wakey-up not sleeping thing.. there’s been a bit of that for me this week.
So the saga of Lucy vs The Whole of Europe continues.
The Hard
finishing the europe report was Hard. monday did not go strictly according to plan. printing everything off in triplicate was a pain and took an age, leaving me a short time to revisit the budget before i had to send it.
I sent it. i was euphoric for five minutes then i went bleeeeuuuurgghhh and all the stress came right back. And i was left thinking hang on a minute i was meant to be feeling superduperawesome and actually i felt awful.
tuesday i had a lingering feeling something was wrong. and, driving back from running a training session all day, i realised that i had indeed screwed up part of the budget. panic. late night calls to my boss, and another early morning to get it rewritten and sent to Brussels.
Also, i haven’t had any feedback about the report from the partners.. which leaves me feeling reeaaaallllly uneasy…..
Thursday and Fri I’ve been facilitating a two day meeting – i’m on the train again. always chicken on a train it seems. today was hard-going..
And I’ve had a few nights where I’ve been up in the middle of the night, wide awake and eurgh!
The Good
but hey, the report is done.
i saw Pat. she told me that i need to practise letting all the europe stress go now that it’s done.
i thought about the bits of the last few weeks where i felt in charge.
Star Trek on the new TV was fabulous.
It’s friday. I’m going home to my wife. I will eat fish pie.
happy weekend everyone,
Lucy x
Hey Havi! Hey Selma! Hey Everybody!
The Hard:
It’s December, and in less than a month it will be 2010. For some reason, that’s driving me crazy.
Ran right into a wall of old ickiness that I didn’t realize I still had, and was completely undone for five long, miserable, agonizing days. (Pleasant for the family, too . . .)
The Good:
Mahala magically gave me (well, not just me, although it kinda felt like that) the concept of “shenpa,” which explained my wall of ick and seems to have conjured a door into it.
I did something gigantic I’ve been dreading and dreading and DREADING–and it turned out to be a non-thing. More like throwing in a load of laundry than starting to climb Mt. Everest.
Love and joy to everybody!
.-= Melynda´s last post … I May Have to Read Some Peter Straub, After All. =-.
Hurray – chicken!
Hard:
– Not a very productive week. Unenthusiastic about writing code.
– Brrr. Snow is falling and basement is now cold. Unfortunately that’s where my office is.
– I have a customer who is late in paying me, and their LinkedIn profile looks like (perhaps) they don’t work there anymore. Company phone directory no longer lists him. It isn’t a lot of money, but now I have to figure out how to awkwardly contact him (or president of company) and inquire.
Good:
– I faithfully attended 3 chamber events this week. Three! Which means I got out of the house, talked to real live people, and met new people. Now I just need to learn how to ask thoughtful questions and express opinions (I’m too wimpy!)
– I sent out multiple emails to strangers, one of which has turned into a breakfast next week.
.-= Avonelle Lovhaug´s last post … When more is less (or makes you look stupid) =-.
This week, I got reacquainted with that minor upper back injury that took, like, a year to heal properly and then it was gone and I was very happy about that and now it’s back. It’s like that relative that keeps wanting to hang out with you and you’re not sure why but you sort of feel obliged…
Ugh. Hi back pain. Nice to see you again.
I feel nonetheless OK. Practicing the patience with myself, getting some bits and pieces in the IRL world fixed now that sitting at the computer hurts.
Also on the upside: Dance of Shiva helps with the back. I’m doing it more, which means I’m full of clever ideas. Ha ha. This makes me happy.
Sorry for bucking the format. Love to you all.
Aw! I kiss you! And applaud you for surviving and thriving your week of outrageous brunchification, with only a choppy haircut in damages. Because not only are you doing this awesome thing for yourself and your business and your people, but by doing it, you’re enlarging the possibilities for everyone else. So on behalf of Everyone Else – thanks!
My hard and my good this week were all of a piece. I found an abandoned newborn Tuesday night (like, so new born it was still wet!), and I spent the night feeding him every two hours, and the next day on the phone, frantically looking for a nursing mother cat to place him with.
In the course of this, I got to talk (on the phone!) to the awesome Fabeku, who talked me down and gave me loads of practical advice. So did a lot of other people. All of this got him started off on a good foot.
I did not find a lactating mama cat, but I did find a lovely young woman who hand-raises orphan kittens *for fun.* I know. ! She picked him up, and he’s doing fine.
But the most exciting thing is that he’s coming back to stay with me today and tomorrow because she had plans to go away. And though there will be no sleep for me tonight, I am perversely looking forward to it. I have provisionally named him Mr. Pipsqueak Monsterface.
Hi all!
CHICKEN!!
The hard:
Three months of coughing. THREE MONTHS. Go away coughing, dammit.
I was laid off from the day job yesterday. Hmmm.
Monday afternoon my Dad was in the hospital because of a bad dialysis session. 🙁
There’s something wrong with my etsy shop and you can’t access it. 🙁
The good:
I didn’t give notice on Monday like I had been considering. Which means:
I got laid off. Which means a severance package and unemployment insurance, and impetus to get the business truly running and paying for itself.
Dad’s doing great.
I’ve gotten sleep.
I think we’re finally figuring out what’s causing the cough. I hope.
.-= Romilly´s last post … Around the Interwebz-7 links I liked this Weekend =-.
Yay Friday Chicken!
Hard:
* I lost one of my best clients this week.
* Icky house repair issues.
* Not one, but SEVERAL failed batches of homemade soap. Which are supposed to be this year’s Christmas presents. Drat.
Good:
* Volunteered to take care of a homeless shelter’s website.
* Christmas presents (give or take the soap) are all done.
* At last, some downtime to ruminate on possible new directions for my art.
.-= Barbara J Carter´s last post … A very small painting… “Dots 15? =-.
Had to stop by the Fluent today despite running around Art Basel because I thought of you and everyone here last night. I was at an opening that had a huge mural by the Brazilian street artist Nunca that was about shoe throwing. Yup, a huge mural on that! I will work on getting you a link. I think Naomi will like it too.
.-= Lydia, Clueless Crafter´s last post … Clueless Goes to Miami. Ciao! =-.
Wow. We all need this place to recap our weeks.
@Havi – *Glowing gratitude to you.*
The hard:
*Self-inquiry. Dang. It’s so necessary for me right now but so hard.
*Realizations that some internal parts of me have been pretty beat up. By me. For 30 years.
The good:
*Self-inquiry! and the realizations that I.can.stop. beating.myself.up. Oh thank God.
*Protecting myself from people who trigger self-flaggelation. Yay! ROOM for recovery. I love that. (I’ve been wondering if you can actually have Wrong People. Yikes.)
@Leocadia — “Not stress-resistant enough?!” That is so not okay. That sounds like something an engineer would say after running tests on shatter-proof plastic.
@Amna — Best little kitten name EV.ER. Have fun with the little one.
@Hiro — My heart goes out to you for your loss. I hope you and your family can find some comfort and peace over the coming weeks.
Hey guys
Chick’m…
The Hard
needing to clean out my home “office”…or studio…or tiny-room-in-the-back-of-the-house-where-make-stuff. And not really getting around to it (until yesterday…yay!)
in other words…procrastinating
one moment of bad communication (over the phone). then a few hours of feeling bad about that
a bad learning-to-drive moment: making mistakes and not dealing with making mistakes very well.
The Good
a really nice visit with my parents and grandmother
finishing the last grant proposal for the year
made a couple nice dinners at home
Cuban food in a lovely little restaurant with Ali (plus discovering a yummy drink called “Havana Beach”)
most touching film I’ve seen in a long time: Anvil
Happy Friday everyone!
xo
c
.-= Christine Bougie´s last post … Best Of ‘09: best book…well, actually… =-.
The Hard:
– Coming back from vacation. Travel delay, not enough sleep, laundry… Feeling totally unprepared to go to work.
– Coming back to mood swingy husband
– Husband preparing to move out (again). All kinds of Hard there. Piles of it.
– Overload of fundy stepfather.
– Poor sleep
– Christmas! Ugh. The Hard.
The Good:
– Preparing myself for the upcoming Moveout in the most loving way possible. Don’t know when I’ve been this nice to myself before.
– Great support system, including lovely therapist who keeps reminding me of them.
– Yoga. *sigh* I heart.
– Being able to rant wildly in the grocery store to good friend about fundy stepfather.
– Reminding myself of soverignty, boundaries (Thanks, Havi!)
Both good and hard this week: writing applications for the Kitchen Table and the Destuckification Retreat. (By the way, thanks again for the permission to do a sloppy, woefully inadequate job on that!)
Hard: getting to bed way too late several nights in a row, thus not being able to accomplish much besides the applications.
Good: feeling a tiny positive shift in my body regarding some health problems I’m dealing with, and the glimmer of hope that accompanied that feeling.
.-= Josiane´s last post … Noticing – the dragonfly edition =-.
@Lucy, I’m sorry you’ve had the sleep interruption as well! Despite my having all kinds of good ideas in the middle of the night, I’d rather sleep and do Shiva Nata and have inspiration during the day….
.-= Julie´s last post … Recovering yourself after academia =-.
The hard this week:
– Lots of stuff breaking, including a snow globe on my bathroom floor. Snow globes, as it turns out, are no fun to clean up.
– There is just never enough sleep in my world.
– Buttons! Everywhere! On my floor!
The good:
– I was nominated and made the finals in a couple of bloggy contests, which is fun. For me, anyway.
– Remembering how to return to my centre when I need it.
– Sunshine. It’s been so long since there was sunshine, and it really does improve my mood vastly.
.-= Amber´s last post … Stumping for Votes =-.
First chicken…first comment here ever, actually.
The Hard:
I’ve got another cold or something. Headachey, lethargic, stuffy nose all week. Soo frustrating because I just got over a different cold a week ago. I’d rather be *really* sick for a week instead of this on-again off-again kind-of sick that just makes me feel really lazy.
Didn’t get a lot done this week, mostly due to the cold.
Money issues. urgh. ‘Nuff said.
Also, I’ve been having trouble sleeping all week. Which kind of freaked me out, because I had an incident like, two months ago? where I had some pretty nasty insomnia and didn’t get a full night of sleep for two weeks. Absolutely horrible and the thought of it happening again is terrifying to me. I think the not-sleeping-well is just because of the cold though.
The Good:
Yoga helps with everything, as does meditating for a little while.
Winning in a book in a giveaway that I was going to buy anyways, getting it in the mail on Wednesday, and it being really really good!
Re-reading American Gods…I had a bit of a marathon and finished it in a day and a half. SO GOOD. Maybe I’ll re-read Neverwhere next.
Buying my sister’s Christmas/Yule (I celebrate Yule, but we’ll be with my family, so in all reality it’s just semantics) present, figuring out what to get for most everyone (I have everyone figured out but my little brother, he’s so hard to buy for), and finding a way to get Matt the present that I wanted to get him. I know he’ll love it!!
PS – Havi, you are Certifiably Awesome for making bread while listening to London Calling. <3 the Clash.
.-= Michelle´s last post … 5 Movies to Watch for Their Aesthetic =-.
Ya-
😀 There was hard, this week. *BUT* it was vastly overshadowed by a delayed-reaction epiphany on my “sad sack” self. (huge sigh of relief, as it was distressing to me)
The reaction comes from a time when I was powerless, and feeling helpless, and the only positive that could be found was through attention- any attention, even if it had to be found through hysterical drama. I never was one for displaying such histrionics outwardly. Actually, I would never *dream* of throwing a tantrum as a kid as it Was Not Done.
~~~ but in my little head, that story line (omigod, I’m having a great time, this person is wonderful, something good is happening, and OMG!!! IT WILL ALL END!! TRAGEDY!!! ~or~ something genuinely crummy happens, and I allow myself to inflate the tragedy beyond what is really there…) allowed me to give dramatic attention to myself, feel sorry for myself…. and therefore give attention and sooth myself.
That’s really the long way around to get to self-attendance, and self soothing. So I’m going to try to give that attention and calm to myself beforehand, and with no particular reason.
Hope that was even vaguely understandable. In any case, Havi, thank you, thank you, thank you for everything you do. <3 You make a *lot* of positive ripples in the universe.
Ingrid
CHICKEN! I’m in. Pock Pock.
The hard:
It’s assignment time once again and oof. Three in two weeks and eeep. Especially since I’m all manically committed to do doing this degree well and for the first six weeks of term I got nothing done due to all the, “huh, what’s with this new place?” weirdness.
Still dangling in the void with work. Not knowing what will come. Wanting madly to make something more solid.
Friends, being odd. Or me, being odd. Things changing and not knowing quite how to deal with the change.
Getting a cheque which has filled me with lots of confused.
Okay, that’s enough hard.
The Good:
Writing about my THING! That was fun.
Getting started on the assignments. Finding something that works for me in terms of getting them done.
Giving myself permission to explore my own options in terms of work. The creative sparks in my brain are firing off in all directions.
Getting a phone call about a job application where seriously I wrote, “but I’m a whizz with my own coffee machine at home…”
Getting a cheque which will help hugely with fees.
Writing a dammit list. It includes I get to ride my bike once a week whatever the weather dammit. I know that’s only exciting to me. But yay.
Friends, being happy, finding happiness, lovely talks about them finding happiness.
Twitter coolness.
IT’S FRIDAY and I’m putting up my Christmas Tree tomorrow.
.-= Wormy´s last post … Unexpected Progress =-.
Ooh, ooh I forgot! How could I forget?!
A surprise parcel on my kitchen table from my Pink Fish filled with LUSH goodies. Mostly Vanillery perfume and delicious body lotion and ooooooh yumminess. I smell edible.
.-= Wormy´s last post … Unexpected Progress =-.
@christine yes! anvil is such a great movie! i saw it in brooklyn last year? two years ago? and the band was there for a q&a afterwards and then they played a small set! it was crazy and beautiful and insanely uplifting actually.
chicken chicken chicken!
The Hard:
– draggy, resistance-y week at work
– last night my cell phone died when I was walking to meet my gff at a non-specified location. we managed to be unable to find each other for over half an hour and it made me feel panicky and scared and sheepish and stupid. blech.
– my cat won’t quit peeing on my pajamas when I leave them lying on the bathroom floor or my bedroom floor. she doesn’t pee on gff’s stuff that is lying around, oh no. Just mine!
The Good:
– so. much. baking going on. I feel pretty much able to bake anything I want to eat these days, and like it won’t be a big deal if something doesn’t turn out well. I’m working on sourdough starter and two amazing wheat bread loaves came out of the oven an hour ago.
– took a sick day with GFF today and dang it helps.
– leftover pumpkin pie from Thanksgiving. I made such an amazing pumpkin pie.
– I moved three stacks of birth / breast feeding / doula / midwife books off my night stand and into our office area. I love to read about these topics, but they are part of my work, and I don’t want work to be literally piled up around my bed. Without those books there, I still have about 8 books I want to read for me, and plenty of space for the other little things I keep on my nightstand. Most importantly, there’s a feeling of spaciousness.
– making so much delicious delicious food together.
– buying my gff some christmas presents that are so fun.
– really, I gotta say: doing the chicken. Doing this thing often leads to me feeling really good and cozy and nestled into my life. traditions!
have a great weekend chicken doodles!
oh forgot to mention! this week i noticed many pieces of actually-quite-sturdily-constructed pieces of clothing starting to literally come apart at the seams. I was reminded of the talk a few weeks ago about how Havi and several other people have had the experience of their clothes falling apart when they are going through big changes. My upcoming start to massage therapy school is only a little over 4 weeks away now…
@emilylime
so awesome that you got to see them play and do a Q&A after the movie!
sorry to hear that your cat keeps peeing on your pj’s. that sucks.
happy chicken!
c
.-= Christine Bougie´s last post … Best Of ‘09: best book…well, actually… =-.
That is a fab banner. And Guns n Rollers is the best name ever. I’ve just realised I don’t actually understand what roller derby is, except that it involves roller skates. Is it some kind of racing type thing?
Chicken!
The hard:
– Too much to do. Not enough sleep. The second is related to the first both directly and indirectly, as in situations where other people might reach for alcohol or chocolate, I stay up far too late. I’ve never liked going to bed. I’ve been in a state of constant sleep deprivation since my childhood. But when my waking life is challenging, my self-indulgent/self-destructive not-going-to-bed gets frankly silly.
– Meetings and paperwork. Not a fan.
– Every so often I fall into a little grump about the fact that, although there are tons of people out there who have one single thing that they want to do, recognise that thing, and then go and do it, my butterfly mind leaps from thought to thought so rapidly that it just can’t seem to find anything it wants to do enough to do it, yet also is also desperately frustrated that it isn’t doing some great thing. I had one of those this week.
The good:
– Meetings and paperwork resulted in nice new large project. Also, possibility of very fun smallish project after that.
– Brief visit from parents. An overnighter. Just the right amount to be enjoyable without being difficult.
– Flamenco still totally rules. And I finally found a skirt I can wear for it.
Sweet banner! (the cool not sugary kind of sweet.)
Also love this: “But basically I just want to throw support at the self-proclaimed gayest team in Derby.” I’m sure it’s appreciated. Awesome.
Feel a bit too much in the middle to comment on the good and the hard right now.
Instead, the ridiculous: after a long day, I was beat, it was after 2 AM, and I just wanted to hit the sack. Instead I had a bloody nose (technically 1 nostril which as far as epistaxes go is more convenient) and hiccups AT THE SAME TIME. sigh. However, drinking water upside down does actually work. And you don’t have to pour the water into your mouth upside down, you can just swig some upright and then swallow it upside down. I know, may seem obvious, but at 2:20 it felt freaking brilliant because I really didn’t want to end up soggy. 🙂
.-= claire´s last post … As long as it’s sir with respect… =-.
We’ve been Turmeric Rolled! I love it! I keep trying to come up with lyrics, but I’ll spare you all, since everything I’ve come up with so far isn’t even good enough to qualify as lame. 🙂
Hard:
-My hard this week is a devastating blend of been-hanging over-my-head-for-years hard and sudden-shocking hard. I’ll try to give the bare minimum of backstory: I’ve been chipping away at a PhD in music therapy for the past 7+ years. I’ve gotten bogged down trying to complete the seven projects that are required for my preliminary exam — once projects are done, I defend them before the faculty, then if I pass, I get to move on to dissertation proposal. It’s been a stressful struggle, filled with anxiety, avoidance, distraction, ambivalence, and oh, you all know how it goes, right? Anyway, as of now, three of these projects are complete, two are almost complete, and two are, oh, perhaps half finished. I’ve been striving to get everything done and submitted to faculty by January 11.
Well. I just found out, this morning, that my adviser wants all four remaining projects emailed to her by…the 9th. As in, December 9th. As in, next Wednesday.
Not impossible. Just, as Douglas Adams might have said, very very improbable. But I have to try. And oh, there will be an impassioned VPA from me come Sunday, yes indeedy!
Whew. That’s more than enough hard.
Good:
+I’ve been training a new music therapist all week, and you know something? I am very good at what I do! I’ve been feeling at the top of my game all week long, and it feels very good, downright energizing, in fact. Good thing, too, because dear Gods, I am going to need all the confidence and energy I can get!
Have a grand and glorious weekend, everyone. I’ll be grateful for any good wishes you can spare!
.-= spiralsongkat´s last post … Blogging in the dark =-.
Chickening in (as opposed to chickening out of posting here, of course, which I have been doing all day).
Good wishes to all who need them!
Hard: Not much except the usual no-time-to-get-it-all-done this week. Working on that. My clock-stretcher is broken and the parts seem to be backordered.
Good: Not too much stress this week.
Three blog posts written and published, two of them very intense. Kate, you were in one of them, as is Havi.
A business manager who is very impressed with my progress this year and my plans and goals for next year (which isn’t easy to do, so I feel very good about that).
Monsters who have quit beating up on me and become allies, if not exactly friends.
Able to calm and reassure a client who was panicking over not being able to write copy for her site.
At least some of the work done that should have been completed this week, and a weekend in which to try to get caught up.
Snow! In Alabama! At least an inch predicted for tonight! Which means the entire city will be shut down for days. There’s not a snowplow within 700 miles and tomorrow will be a glorrrrrrrrious mess of tangled vehicles everywhere. My puppy girls will love it. The snow, not the wrecks. 🙂
.-= Carol Logan Newbill @2fishweb´s last post … Talking to the Monsters =-.
Hmmm…
Not yet ready to do a Friday Chicken because I haven’t had enough processing time this week. Am feeling the pressures of “The Berenstain Bears and Too Many Holiday Parties” while simultaneously trying to feel grateful that I have so many people who might want me at their party.
A lot of good stuff happened this week, but right now all I want to do is A. write or B. take a shower and go to bed and I think B. might win out… 🙂
.-= Blue´s last post … Mad Men 1.6: Babylon =-.
Havi:
Love the DAnce of Shiva mat for Roller Derby – that’s amazingly awesome
Hard:
-insomnia (and that’s all I’m gonna say about that!)
-my son’s home and i’m having trouble keeping my mouth shut when that’s what’s best for everyone
-figuring out time to be with them is my business is being born after being unduly late
-discovering a potential client who wants to use me for free and having to deal proactively with it
Wonderful:
-web designer from heaven
-someone who is lovingly adapting rewrites of my copy for sales page
-another angel who is reformatting some of my worksheets plus adding ideas of her own
(aside here: all of these people I’ve met through being associatied with Havi – thanks Havi! – and it’s great to work with like minded people who get it.)
-writing partner helping me profoundly and amazingly with new book in progress
-writing blog posts that I actually like and accepting my imperfection
-someone from barbara sher’s part 1 contacting me to reconnect. love that!!
-support coming from everywhere
-reconnecting with an ex lover and finally understanding the big picture of why us not being together is the BEST thing for both of us REALLY: this has been huge for me. we love each other still and totally get the choices we made – makes us closer than ever on some levels.
-an amazing massage where my beloved husband shared some life changing stuff
-having both kids home
-coming to terms with some stuff that i’ve felt embarassed and ashamed of, and resolving it in a way that acknowledges those feelings and lets me really get that i have everything i need to take care of myself
-finding that balance between asking for help and doing what i can for myself
-loving finding my own voice and feeling comfortable, confident and at home with me
have an awesome weekend everyone.
.-= char´s last post … Running Into Restlessness Again. . . . =-.
I love this “brunch” thing. My hard & my good this week are all about my brunch. Now feeling a little giddy and ridiculous.
That and dealing with the people from this conference, who have a way of making you feel like a criminal for having made them lots of money. Delightful. The stuff I got out of it is permanent and the stuff I’m putting up with is temporary, but still. Ptui.
.-= Sonia Simone´s last post … What Makes Marketing Hard? =-.
@Havi ~ I once almost did shaved head of despair. at least you can be in braids.
Boundless admiration for your various programs and getting them into the world.
Duckrolling!
@Leocadia ~ Having roses thrown at you! Brilliant. I’m need to try that.
@Amna ~ When I lived in Vermont, my neighbors were magnets for finding or being given teeny abandoned kittens. I used to take the day feedings while they were at work. Sweet, sweet memories.
The hard – Big. Stuck. Not ready to write about it. I might need some roses first.
The good – Lots.
Best evah Monday morning email from Melynda “I had some time on my hands so I knit you something.” By Thursday I had a package with the snuggliest blue fingerless gloves which I love and will have to make some effort re: keeping the cats from trying to take them. (And Melynda, I’m SO happy the shenpa writing helped. Powerful stuff. It speaks to all of us.)
Got a crazy brilliant idea to ask Andrew to join me with a (soon to be disclosed) secret thing and he said yes!
Moving forward with a program which will be my first offering from Luminous Heart. *Brunch* in a few days. Too much to do, too much technical to learn, and too little time. But it feels really good to be creating something Finally! I have some concerns that no one will sign up, but that’s actually secondary to how good it feels to be creating the program and I’m trusting Right People will come, later if not now.
Ripples still moving from a session with Hiro today. Thank you dear Hiro, sending love.
Wrote a blog today that I thought was going to feel like loss, and ended up feeling like love.
Many blessings, Mahala
.-= Mahala Mazerov´s last post … Arizona In My Mind =-.
@Rebecca: You’re right, it does sound like that. I guess bosses want functioning machines, hence the bizarre vocabulary.
@Mahala: Yes, try the rose thing. It took me quite a bit of courage to actually press the send button after having written the email, and I probably surprised few people by my request. But I realized how bizarre it is that one little negative thing said by someone who doesn’t really know you has such an impact (it does on me anyway, I can’t just brush it away). And then, on hearing the the good stuff, you realize THIS IS what counts. So I can now counterbalance the “not stress-resistant” against “open, warm, sensitive, great taste for clothes and interior design, a reliable friend etc. etc.” And guess which has more weight and shines and radiates? I will print out all my friends’ emails in small print and carry them around with me to read in moments of doubt.
Bird magnifiers? Anything to do with Chickening, Stu?
Chicken!
The good: today is Sinterklaas, tradition time! I like this tradition: each of my family members buys some small gifts for one other family member (the computer decides), accompanied by a poem. The poems is what it’s all about to us: they are always extremely witty and funny. Basically, you can somewhat anonimously joke about the peculiarities of your family. Good times.
The bad: the dissertation. Progress is there, but very slow. It’s only about 100 working days to go until the designated timestamp passes, so no more slacking time available. I did not include enough refueling time this year, so I desperately need a break. Even my body is sending me threat messages: ‘just continue like this, young lady, and I’ll make sure you can’t do it for a while’. Whoopsie. One more week until refueling, hang in there!
@Julie – at least good ideas are happening in your sleeplessness – but yes, these are best reserved for normal waking hours. 😉
I am sooooo glad that you liked Slings and Arrows, also feeling your hair pain. Did you know you really can’t color your hair red if it’s been black-ish, no matter what the picture on the box says? Hope to see you at SXSW again!
Avast Ye Chickeneers!
Wow – this week started with really hard and then turned for the good. Yay for positive progress! OK – here’s my week:
The Hard:
– Flu, flu, flu. Stomach flu. I couldn’t keep anything down for four days and was just miserable. Also, all the puking set my broken-rib-healing back a week or so. BLEH. That pretty much ate up Thanksgiving at 4am through the following Tuesday, when I could finally keep down broth and water. Weirdest flu ever, though, because it came with insomnia. WTF, universe? Whose cereal did I karmically piss in?!
– Dance of Shiva in public. Ribs impacting my ability to flail with impunity.
The good:
+ Having a wonderful husband who fetched and carried and brought me soup and was generally an outstanding caregiver. Again.
+ Finally eating solid foods again on Wednesday. Damn, I didn’t realize how much you could miss the simple act of chewing.
+ Easy drive from SF to Sacramento, where I got to meet Victoria, and where the Hyatt let me check into the room under Elizabeth’s name (we’re sharing – I’m not sneaking)
+ Going out to dinner with new friends and old. Yay for friends!
+ Crazy transformational biggification day with Havi and several amazing, wonderful women (too many to list here, but I suspect I’ll be mentioning them in future posts because, just wow. So cool spend a day with your Right People. I have a lot to process, but the day was an excellent way to restart the me time that I’ve been missing so much.
bucking conventional wisdom at every turn.
people said I needed to ::snip:: I didn’t. Because I didn’t feel like it.
Hurrah!
I love hearing stories like that. So much of the world is all “This is the way you’re supposed to do it”. The “listen to yourself and invent your own way” is music to my ears every time. Thank you Havi!
I’ve missed the last couple Friday Chickens, and I’m late to this one, but I don’t care! I like left-over chicken. Congratulations Havi on how everything is falling into place! And I am so happy to hear how well flouting the usual advice is going because I don’t put much stock in it either. So, so happy to hear rebel success stories!
The Good
Went to visit the in-laws for Thanksgiving and had a great time. Cannot believe how much my nieces and nephews have grown.
After spending 2 days with 8 kids (ages 10 months to 16 years) am totally recommited to never having mine own (visiting Hubby’s family is such excellent birth control). Love the kiddos but oh so glad they don’t come home with me.
Christmas shopping is done.
Christmas decoration are up!
Have a very good start on my novel and am loving the research and everything I’m finding out about the history of where I live.
The Hard
The Hubby and I got the stomach flu on the tail end of our trip, and had to stay an extra day.
After almost 2 weeks off of work, I am going to have to figure out where to start and what to start with. Overwhelm.
Need to do something with the blog. It is way too neglected. Overwhelm again.
Need to set some goals, which totally freaks me out. Back to Dissolving Procrastination and Magical Procrastination Dissolving Fairy Dust cause I’m already coming up with ways to procrastinate My Thing and making plans to biggify.
And now I need to start thinking about what to make for dinner. I hope everyone has a good weekend.
.-= Shawna R. B. Atteberry´s last post … Company Girl Coffee: The I’m Still Alive Edition! =-.
Chick’m!
@Sarah – I must have your NASA pillow. Tell us more. The public must know. My life needs a NASA pillow!
@Lauren – that is the best sovereignty story in the entire world. Good for you! I got chills reading that.
@Hiro – oh sweetie, hugs and comfort for all that hard.
@Leocadia – ugh. So sorry about the hard. And thank you for Eskimo Chicken (just one guy, right?) and the image of roses being thrown instead of shoes. That’s absolutely beautiful.
@Sarah T – woo! Public Chicken! That is a new incarnation of Eskimo Chicken, right? Fun to see you here. *blows kiss*
@Romilly – wow, honey. That is QUITE a week. I’m in awe of how you’re transitioning into the good. Very cool.
@Michelle – hi! Hi!
@Ingrid – that’s quite a huge realization. Neat. Goodness. I like it.
@Mahala – ha! I actually have done the shaved head of despair, twice — once when I was 19 and once when I was 29, though the second time wasn’t really out of despair but out of it just being the right time. Braids definitely working for now. 🙂
@everyone else – you guys are all wonderful. Thanks for doing this with me. It makes the whole week good for me.
MWAH.