Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Selma and I have been away all week (wait, we still are away, how weird is that), teaching my Destuckification Retreat in Monterey, California.
So my entire chicken is pretty much about that, since that’s what I’ve been doing.
The hard stuff
Being away from you guys.
I seriously missed hanging out on the blog with you.
Though I did some peeking and reading of comments on my phone. Thank you for all the love and the support and the spaciousness this week, and especially for all the tea you made for me yesterday.
Time going by way too quickly.
Too many things I wanted to do.
So many people I wanted to spend time with.
It was just zooooooooom gone.
Missing old routines, getting new ones, now saying goodbye to the new ones. Sigh.
First I missed all my wacky morning rituals and things that didn’t seem to work while on holiday.
But now I’m all sad about not having a group of people to do Shiva Nata on the beach with and Old Turkish Lady yoga with.
Also?
How can Retreat be over? I want to stay on retreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat.
Basically, change = challenging right now. Is all I’m saying.
I missed my bed.
And my red flannel sheets.
And my gentleman friend’s cooking.
And Hoppy House! Oh Hoppy House!
Some adjustments of expectations combined with patterns of disappointment.
So everything about the retreat has been amazing.
And at the same time there were minor disappointments about the place itself.
The food … sometimes good and occasionally terrific but definitely not what we were promised. Double beds in the single rooms. Little things.
Which triggered my momma hen stuff around wanting to make sure everyone was being taken care of. So that needed some attention.
The good stuff
The place.
The Pacific ocean being right there.
Long walks on the beach.
Baby deer everywhere.
The enormous sky. The stars. The trees. It was a great setting for what we were there to do.
The people.
Wow.
I don’t even know what to say other than that I genuinely adore every single person who was there and am filled with so much love for them.
So much smart. So much funny. So much goofy. So much real. So much ridiculous. So much kind-heartedness. And caring. And quietly exuberant.
Just an amazing group of human beings who were exceptionally fun to play with and really were up for whatever I threw at them.
Mad Dance of Shiva, inappropriate Shivanauttery and crazy transformative stuff.
We did so much Shiva Nata, in so many different ways.
To The Clash.
On the beach.
Level 4.
In circles and in squares.
In groups and on our own.
To music and in silence.
With laughter and tears and playfulness and grace. It was absolutely incredible.
The goofing off.
Was exquisite.
No one goofs off like my people. This is quality goofing off I’m talking about here. High-level hilarity.
We danced like trolls at a trance party. We made ridiculously silly noises. We did Dance of Shiva to the Beastie Boys.
There was the hilarious Ironic Aerobics class. And a Dork Dancing Extravaganza featuring exceptionally bad break dancing.
We laughed until we cried. Until our muscles ached.
There was so much playing. It was like being six again. And it was brilliant.
Weird epiphanies.
All sorts of unexpected bits and pieces.
The love.
Seriously intense. Like, you are in a room and that room is full of love.
Very, very cool.
Getting to come back from retreat despite being sad about the ending.
Looking forward to my routines.
And my rituals. And writing. And being here on the blog.
And … playing live at the meme beach house!
Yes, that’s a Stuism too.
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
Oh boy. I am pleased to announce the return of Battle of the Fake Bands. Yes!
This week our final contestants are:
Our Baby Koala Overlords
And
Monster Sidecar
Oh yes. It’s weird though, because it’s just one guy.
Thanks @nathanbowers and @jzy for the first one and my goofball retreaters at the Destuckification Retreat for the second one. 🙂
And … STUISMS of the week.
Stu is my paranoid McCarthy-ist voice-to-text software who delights in torturing me misunderstanding me. I can’t stand him.
Stu is on vacation this week too because of the retreating. Alas.
It’s also kind of awesome though because I went an entire week without typing and ohmygod yay.
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.
Follow
Wait — you mean, it’s just one guy, the same guy, in both of those bands? I did not know that! Must make for an interesting battle. 🙂
Hard:
-I absolutely should not still be awake right now. Oh my God. I am going to be in so much trouble tomorrow.
-I had to ask my father-in-law for a substantial loan to cover school tuition. Embarrassing. Uncomfortable. I really had to work up my courage, even though he is sweet and loving and I knew deep down that he would say yes if he possibly could. I just feel as if I shouldn’t need to borrow that money, y’know?
-One of my partners had a bout of frustrated, self-critical agitation, and I let it infect me. I wanted it to be something I could fix. I wanted it to stop, because it was hurting me.
Good:
+Super-secret stealthy retreat! Even though I couldn’t be in Monterey, I thought about you guys all week long, and felt very connected.
+I tackled some challenging stuff this week, including things I’d been procrastinating about for ages. Courageous Kat!
+I was able to borrow the money for school. (Still rather ambivalent about the whole school thing, but shh, that’s for another Chicken…)
+I think I’m having a growth spurt — on the inside.
Oh, I am so ready to have a glorious weekend — a big one, with plenty of room for everybody! Happy Friday, folks!
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … In which I am a secret agent of change =-.
@Kathleen: Brilliant idea about the super-secret stealthy retreat!
The hard:
– Communication issues.
– Finding out about friends having massive problems with their daughter; seeing how they think they can deal with it without external help.
– Feeling stuck since I got back from my little trip and being annoyed with myself about this recurring pattern (hence planned an afternoon of Shiva Nata for today).
– Comparing myself to others.
The good:
+ Catching up with friends and in-laws during my little trip.
+ Yesterday’s mushroom lasagne.
+ Still some hope about job application I sent off two weeks ago.
+ Suprise letter from an old friend with a lovely little bracelet in it.
The hard
I felt on edge this week to the point of brink of breakdown stuff. A very hard week.
In conflict about how to manage my hsp self when I have bills to pay. Hard to stop altogether and just look after myself or gently pursue ones dreams and sense of play when the wolves are baying at the door – bills, bills, bills.
The good
No matter what – I love me, I have hope, if not a plan.
I have huge amounts of ideas about the future – even if I don’t see ways to make stuff happen right now.
Sometimes falling apart can mean to stop looking at that avenue as a source of income. I’m ambivalent about this, but still there’s a nugget here that i have not yet gleaned.
This stuff has to change. It just does – cos my hsp self won’t let me tolerate any more stuff that makes me unhappy. So being in pain forces me to pay attention, expand my knowledge about myself and my life choices. It compels me to smarten up because I don’t want to keep inviting stuff that is unhealthy for me in my life.
The dammit list and this thing called sovereignity. My dammit list is not the same as everyone else’s. There’s nothing wrong with for me for struggling so hugely to be around people who relentlessly throw shoes.
I can’t do anything else without seeking more comfort. So I am resting up a storm today. Looking after myself, going slow again. Slowly detaching myself from a really hard emotional week. Then I’ll do something else!
As always hugs and thanks to all!
L x
De-lurking for a Friday Chicken!
The hard:
– I was sick most of the week and missed four days of work, which may or may not come out of my personal holidays, so I have to take in my form from the hospital and talk to the boss about it. Not excited for that.
– I’m still in the middle of the sucky stage of culture shock, which also happens to be in the middle of winter, so it’s cold and I’m tired and grumpy a lot of the time. I miss my friends and the warm weather of Phoenix winters.
The good:
+ Got a package full of yoga and positive energy 🙂 Thank you so much! It was just the boost I needed after a week of being sick.
+ Had a totally awesome day at one of the schools where I teach. I love that school and would go there every week if I could. So that was a really good way to spend a Friday.
+ My best friend got an interview with the program I’m currently on! This was her second time applying, and I’m really excited about the possibility of her moving here. It’s nice when your friends live in the same country that you do.
+ I’ve been working on taking better care of myself, and not kicking myself around so much. Hard habit to break, but we’re getting there!
Glad to read the retreat was good. Want to do one along the Atlantic, European side? Ironic Aerobics sounds excellent to me. I have images of Very Wrong fitness outfits in my head now. With legwarmers.
In the Battle of the Fake Bands, my vote goes to Our Baby Koala Overlords. Because anything with Koalas is cute.
Chicken!
The hard:
– Dissertation. ‘Nuff said.
– Having a sore throat / cold which keeps me from sleeping which keeps me from getting better. Vicious cycle.
The good:
+ Having lunch with my sister.
+ Receiving a box of chocolates, to share with my office roomy, for our birthdays.
+ Looking forward to next weekend, will be spending it with a group of friends in a holiday home near the sea.
Glad you had a great time on retreat, havi.
Monterey – i lived in the US for a year and never got further West than Utah. One day I’ll get to California.
The hard
busy work week, wife and i running around during the day and crashing massively at night. Meh!
still need to feel better about work, bits of it getting me there. some bits, not so much
the good
creating good writing habits, blogging regularly in my silly space as well as the serious space – definitely need both.
our play-date on sunday with our friends, their kids and the Wii was brilliant. love the Wii! turns out i’m good at Wii table-tennis.
Seeing the iPad and knowing I don’t want one.
have a great weekend all xx
.-= Lucy´s last post … The First Class Seats on the Train are Built for Giant Men =-.
Monster Sidecar MUST WIN. Koalas may be cute, they’re too elaborate.
Hard week: Feeling overwhelmed by my completely out of control inbox. Aaargh, who are these people, what do they want from me, aargh!
Another bike got stolen. In the aftermath, I was a complete ass hole at our deaf and possibly mentally confused neighbour. Total compassion fail. Ugh, I don’t like me when I’m like that.
Then again, being freaked out because our deaf and weird neighbour rang the bell at 10 o’ clock on a Sunday night wasn’t very nice either.
Unpleasant moment of bing. Oh, wow, look at that. This that and the other are all related, and if you put them in a string, they spell: headcase. How nice. Maybe my neighbour should be scared of ME.
Good week: I sold out of my pre-launch Mascots for Life thing. That was pretty cool. I made, like, real money, by doing a thing. Awesome stuff.
My introduction talk with the gym guy at the gym went surprisingly well. He gave me some specific exercises for my back, and wasn’t weird at all.
I can sort of do level three of Shiva Nata now. Hurray.
.-= Willie Hewes´s last post … Mascots for Life =-.
The hard:
Wanting more clarity about where my focus needs to be for my business and it is eluding me
The Really good:
I am on vacation in mexico- BEACH- and yes I did shiva nata on the beach too! and to crazy latin music on the radio. That was fun.
And lots of time to just read. And think and BE…
And laughing with my teenaged boys and husband.
And amazing mexican coffee.
And Havi is coming home! Yeah.
.-= pearl mattenson´s last post … 1.25.10 =-.
Is it finally Friday? I’ve been having one of those weeks where I can’t figure out what day it is. My journal entries all feature numbers crossed out and rewritten as I tried to figure out what the date actually was. Strange, that.
The hard this week…
-Migraines, achiness. My PMS has deserted my emotions (yay) but has moved into my body. Not sure which I prefer…neither, really.
-Multiple shoes all on the same day. Work-related shoes, so I wasn’t terribly upset because it’s just work (and they’re rare), but still. Shoes. Unexpected smelly shoes. Shoes I wanted to throw back. Instead, I threw them away. And secretly laughed at the shoe-throwers. What else can you do sometimes?
-Never enough time alone. Unless I steal it from sleeping. Sometimes I wish I could be a recluse. I guess there’s an opening now that J.D. has passed…
The good this week…
-Finally got the ovaries to move the shiva nata up a notch and started turning around. Big brain waves from this are helping me see where I keep myself stuck on things that matter to me. One of those big epiphanies that starts out as this little wave in the morning and then grows over the next week in to a giant beach-slamming ah-f@!$ing-ha as I see all the ways it applies!
-Fictional and other writing is progressing. Slowly but surely. Oh, and I shared the writing with someone for the first time, and it wasn’t awful. Glad to have found a writerly friend like this.
-Overcoming inertia and running in the afternoon yesterday. I usually do my running in the morning before my brain is awake enough to declare me insane and unfit to move, but this week and last, it’s been a bit treacherous with unseen ice, so I’ve not been going. Yesterday I went in the afternoon. It’s harder than the morning. But I did it. And much ass was kicked. (My own, anyway…)
.-= Emily´s last post … Journaling: Some Random Thoughts on Writing and… =-.
The Hard:
-A meltdown over a fearful situation. A virtual self shoe-pummeling. Scary.
-HSP stuff coming up hardcore when my gentleman friend’s friend visited last-minute for 3 days. She was LOUD, and the energy around her vacillated between okay and really NOT okay.
-Being hungry. I’m trying to eat healthier and smaller portions, but I’m hungry, dammit.
-Old job still hanging around and nagging at me.
The Good:
+Coming out of the fearful situation strong and confident again.
+Doing well at work, learning my new job.
+Grateful for old job since it means I can keep my therapist for another month.
+Feeling strong and healthy due to better eating and regular exercise.
+Feeling hopeful that my dissertation edits will be completed this weekend!
bkAAAAAAAAAAAAk bok bok bok! Oh, sorry, I mean Chicken!
The Hardness:
Job bullshit, hearsay, tears and anger. See my VPA for TMI. Decided to quit then was talked somewhat out of it. Still waiting to find out what the real purpose of the Committee of Doom is, conflicting reports abound. Meantime, I am doing my job in full alert mode, feel a little like a squirrel in the road. RUN! No, wait, STOP! No, RUUUUUNNNNNN! No, wait….
Moved Mom to a permanent dementia place. Scariness, had to go to the psych ward to get her and THREE TIMES we were at the wrong door…back out to the car in the driving snow and girding up the loins for the Big Scare again.
I had not seen her since Thanksgiving when she was taken away, violent and hollering in an ambulance, so that was Rather Traumatic. She did much better than I expected and was happy and cheerful. The people there had gotten very attached to her and they all hugged and kissed her goodbye, some patients as well. DH was a great comfort and relief, she loves him.
Have not been eating well or exercising because my inner brat seems to think that all this emotional upheaval needs to be “rewarded” or made up for with sweets, sleeping in, chocolate and big bowls of cereal.
Can’t seem to grasp the fact that this is not really Taking Care of Myself but making things worse because I feel fat and sluggish.
Beating myself up for reacting this way and then beating myself up for beating my self up. Helping or hurting, helping or hurting?
Still procrastinating getting rid of boatloads of Mom’s stuff. Beating self up, rinse and repeat. Bleah~!
Pissed off at myself for cutting my hair too short! Now I look straight out of the eighties, cue Safety Dance.
S S S S A A A A F F F F ….RATS.
The Goodness:
Moved Mom to a permanent dementia unit!!! WOOOOT. It is very nice and she will be extremely well cared for on Medicaid’s dime. A miracle! Still getting used to the fact that I don’t have to worry or feel guilty about her and her care.
Lots of powerful people are jumping to my defense at the job, one of the annoying people is out of town until April so I won’t have to deal with them. This same annoying person may have come up with a plan to fix The Problem that was supposedly All My Fault, and I don’t have to be involved if I don’t want to! YAY!!!!
Others are rallying support for me and I am just sitting back and letting them, not really worrying much any more. I’m ready to walk if I need to but am not upset or conflicted about it. There is someone willing to step in to replace me if necessary, will not be as effective but will do as interim.
I did all the icky paperwork, finances, yuck associated with the job and actually started to get excited about the upcoming presentations! Went to a prep session and enjoyed interacting with my peeps and creating together. There is much potential for excellence here.
I am ready for January to be over and to make a fresh start in February, my birthday month! Am very thankful that my hair will actually grow back and this too shall pass.
As always a huge chunk of The Goodness resides right here with all you kind folks reading along. So glad I was led here, to think it is all due to St. Lucy’s Wheat. (There’s a story there, someday I’ll put it down.)
Monster Sidecar FTW!
Monster Sidecar also sounds like the drink you need after a very long week 🙂
The hard:
Discovering that Fiber One yogurt probably isn’t my best choice the hard way. 😛
Procrastinating on making the inventory list for our library show next week.
The good:
Finally making my inventory list and finding out I still love my work. Silly old bear.
I have been in hibernation mode this week, guess I could say virtually retreating. Lots of pajama time and yoga and Shiva Nata (moved it up to Level 2 eep).
Studio time!
Studio rituals (lighting the sandalwood/vanilla candle, putting on some Eucerin lotion, and using the rose salve lip balm I keep up there so it is special).
The openings were wonderful and I was able to be “on” without feeling totally emotionally exhausted at the end of either evening. I also wore my “new job, model citizen” drag and wasn’t self-conscious about my body (yay yoga and Shiva Nata!).
JoAnn had bamboo/cotton fabric on bolts that should be perfect for dyeing. And they gave me a 50% off coupon to use for it.
The dye and soda ash from Casey arrived yesterday! 😀
Cake! (the food, though Cake the band was on heavy rotation during early Donkey days and so I always go back to that space when I hear them).
A sort of artist date yesterday to White’s Mill, where I enjoyed the beautiful hand-painted pottery while Izzy picked out some seeds for our garden. I fell in love with a perfect palm sized ceramic bluebird. I think I’m going to go back and buy her for the studio. 🙂
Badger Balm Lavender Orange lip balm. (also from White’s Mill)
Seth Godin’s new book (Linchpin). And Dan Pink’s new book (Drive). Wow. Just wow.
Yeah 🙂
.-= Andi´s last post … Opening Recap =-.
Oh Havi, the retreat sounds just sooo beautiful! I think I’m starting an earmarked savings account to join the next one. Because I must find out what Old Turkish Lady Yoga is all about.
The hard: struggling to remember, because the good was just too good! Achy muscles. Thinking about work and business ideas and such, and struggling because of lack of focus. Some family stuff that require a lot of hard thinking.
The good: the week was full of it. The skiing. The hot tubbing. The jumping in the cold pool out of the hot tub. The stretching, in the hot tub and outside of it. Beautiful, gorgeous mountains around lake Tahoe. Some good, thoughtful conversations that I am proud of.
Looking forward to Saturday and Sunday! Have a great weekend everyone!
Yeah for a goofy, wonderful, silly retreat! I hope to be at one someday. This week was more good than hard, thank goodness.
The Hard
Realizing how much work I have to do on the sample chapters.
Emotionally letting go of my parents. I cannot heal them; they have to make those decisions.
The Good
I joined a gym, and I love it. First it’s in the building right behind ours: I walk out our backdoor across the alley into the other building’s backdoor and gym! They have a beautiful pool and jacuzzi, and they do not use chlorine but some kind of sea salt water cleaner! Double woot! No toxic smell and fumes. And the jacuzzi has two levels with water falls. Gorgeous place to relax. I went to one yoga class and to my delight it was not a yoga class disguised as exercise, but a yoga class with a good teacher. And there is also the other gymmy stuff. And massages! I had a one hour massage and there are free 5 minute chair massages.
I am making headway on The Book Proposal.
I am working with my stuff regarding my blog and posted twice this week! Yeah!
I got together with a friend yesterday and she gave me some good ideas on networking and getting my name out there. Now I just need to work around my inferiority complex and do tiny, baby steps. And I do mean tiny.
I humbly bow to my Baby Koala Bear Overlords and wish everyone a good weekend.
.-= Shawna R. B. Atteberry´s last post … Early leaders in the Christian faith: Dorcas, Lydia, & Phoebe =-.
And I, for one, welcome our baby koala overlords.
Hard:
-Broke a dish last night, which isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme, but really set me off for some reason.
-The new bookshelf isn’t especially nice.
-Ugh, too much filing to do.
-Writing is the lowest priority on my to-do list, which is problematic for *so many* reasons.
Good:
+My desk is organized!
+Putting together bookshelves is productive work, which feels so much better than maintenance work.
+I made sangria last night, which was so fruity it was more like marinated fruit salad. And marinated fruit salad? Is delicious.
+Library run!
+I went through several calendars of events to arrange stuff to do, so I’m not in the apartment all day.
.-= Laura G´s last post … In which I seek a Blogging Buddy (a personal ad). =-.
This week the Chicken is making me want to make a from-scratch chicken pot pie, but that’s also making me feel a little creepy.
The Hard:
– almost no time alone to myself Tuesday morning-Thursday night because of school. not enough sleep because of school. argh i’m really in school.
– hormonal spats with GFF a few mornings this week.
– the cat has developed the most ear-splittingly annoying habit of scratching the bedroom door when we shut her out for being too rambunctious in the night. it’s a sound like nails on a chalkboard and it is so viscerally irritating to me that I can’t even stand for GFF to hug me when it is happening. can’t imagine where the cat got this habit, and i’m seriously considering installing some sort of scratch-pad-like material to the bottom half of my bedroom door to MAKE THE NOISE STOP.
– completely unmotivated, uninterested, annoyed, irritable, exhausted, and bitchy at work. all week long.
– feeling in the dark about when the heck my student loan money will come through.
The Good:
– @intuitivebridge’s filling the bowl chakra meditation thingy in this post: http://bit.ly/bcBiC2 and EFT helping me to get through the terrible time I’ve been having at work. my therapist told me in session a few months ago that he was so happy i was working towards a doula/massage career because i need to get out of my head and into my body. these “getting into my body” things are great when i’m feeling bad at work because that’s all about being trapped in my head.
– baking. continues to be one of the best things i do every week. eating my own home-baked bread all week makes me feel so good.
– planning little trips to get out of the city.
– noticing my deep desire to shut down when I am hurt and working with that.
Happy Friday one and all, and best wishes for a restorative weekend!
Our band name of the week? Zipper pimps. Yay!
What a week. And what great support from people I don’t even know yet from the Kitchen Table. So. Very. Helpful.
In fact the last week started two weeks ago and I was so hysterical that I missed the chicken. ::sadface:: And I cried a lot.
Here we go:
The hard:
– Our neighbor has developed into a full-blown paranoid schizophrenic after the hospitalization of his dad. So he’s being watched. By US! And we’re tapping his phones and can see him through the walls of both our apartments.
– That one thing has pretty much thrown everything into a whirlwind of terrible. Arrrgggh. So we’re moving. To one of the neighborhoods in the city that is seismically stable and where we can have our own HOUSE.
The good:
+ Moving! Cleaning out old stuff and tossing years-old paperwork. I actually do love a good purge, despite the circumstances.
+ Possibilities! Maybe a yard? Maybe a garden? Maybe close to the ocean where we can take long bicycle rides and longer walks? ooooooo – and Quiet! No more Polk-street sirens at all hours.
+ Managing to get my shiva back. Realizing that I can use it as the dance of anger, the dance of change, and the dance of making-me-feel-better for our future. So wonderful.
Happy Chicken everyone!
Koalas are suspect: http://www.fupenguin.com/2009/02/inside-look-at-john-wayne-gacy-of-new.html
With monsters in sidecars, you know what you are getting.
.-= Katie Sauer´s last post … Re-Relationshiping =-.
My vote is for Baby Koala Bear Overlords. I imagine the guy manipulating puppets, who have beady, piercing little eyes, in between playing 3 instruments.
I haven’t done this chicken in awhile, but here goes.
The Hard– About a month ago, I cut off all communication with 1 of my closest, oldest friends because her battle with alcohol has not been going well, and I came to the difficult conclusion that being in contact with her was a form of enabling, therefore damaging to both of us. Blocked my phone, sent her email to archive. It feels like my heart is bleeding all over my shirt. I look older. It feels like one of those aging overnight experiences. Hopefully with enough time, sleep, soothing tea, and meditation that can reverse.
Many, many house guests in a small, small, apt.
The Good– After my play reading, I have producers interested. Things are moving fast in the art part of my life after years and years of slow.
The Children’s Garden where I am the director (volunteer work that I often feel guilty I don’t have more time for), got a nice grant and help from a school. We’ve been trying to have stronger connections with schools for years, and it just fell into our laps without me having to do any work at all.
I sent out the info on my herbal aphrodisiac class and feel happy about the copy I wrote and figuring out the new email server thing.
That’s it. Thanks for this space, and happy full moon Friday!
.-= Kate T.W.´s last post … A Month of Moondays =-.
Baby deer? Oh, cuteness!
The hard:
– My home computer is sick. The support person said it sounded like a problem with the graphics card. We have an appointment at the Apple store tomorrow morning. I haven’t been able to use my computer at home since Monday night, and I’m going through a kind of withdrawal. Plus I feel like the computer must be lonely, wondering why I haven’t been paying any attention to it, so I keep reassuring it that I still love it and will take it to the doctor to make it feel better.
– My day job is…what’s the opposite of motivating? That’s what it’s doing to me. I try to focus on the positives, but all I can come up with is the paycheck, the benefits, and some of the people I work with. Ok, and internet access. And while these are all good things, they do not add up to job satisfaction.
The good
+ I am sooo glad I bought a loom. Weaving last night was so peaceful, so meditative, and the scarf I’m making is so beautiful. I think buying a loom was one of the best things I’ve ever done.
+ I got another drug to try for my migraines. I should be able to tell in about 2 weeks whether it’s helping or not. Cross fingers! Cross toes!
+ The wealth of treasures from my gentleman friend’s friend’s late mother’s house. It’s going to take me a while to sort it all out and organize it so I can use it all, and time to learn how to use the knitting machine, but oh, my, I have enough yarn and fiber now to keep me busy for decades. I am blessed.
+ The ideas that keep coming for things to weave and knit and dye.
+ The wonder that is Ravelry. I have been learning so much.
+ The auctions on my jewelry stuff (http://shop.ebay.com/riing/m.html) are going great, and 10% of the money is going to Doctors without Borders, so I’m grateful for buyers helping to make that happen. Some of the auctions close tomorrow, some on Monday.
And…I think Our Baby Koala Overlords is the best band name ever. You know, there’s a webcomic with a koala with overlord tendencies. http://www.agirlandherfed.com/
.-= Riin´s last post … Silvery updatiness =-.
Ch-ch-ch-chicken!
Hard:
* Sick. Slowly getting better.
* Not getting enough art done. Or blogging, or newslettering, or anything really.
Good:
* Visited the Los Angeles Art Show, a fun “art date” for myself. It was a quiet day so I could see the art unimpeded. Saw some interesting stuff
* Got a new tutoring client this week. They are very enthusiastic, the kids are well-behaved, and they want a regular schedule of tutoring. My kind of client, yay!
* Lots of quiet self-care time with my sweetie. Lots of tea and reading and naps.
.-= Barbara J Carter´s last post … Art Inspiration Booklet for 2010 =-.
The hard:
*My Beloved being stressed & snappy with me
*A hideous nightmare
*My Chronic Fatigue Syndrome flaring badly & having to spend much of the week in bed
Good:
*Making up with my Beloved, who apologised profusely for his behaviour
*Getting my taxes filed without any crying
*Being offered a paying opportunity that may really help with My Thing
*Posting a very belated present to my niece in Australia
*Spending time knitting with a friend
*Getting some art made – not a lot but better than nothing
*Managing to blog, even though it took me all week because I could only write in small chunks
.-= Kirsty Hall´s last post … Taking Stock =-.
Oh, Havi – can I live here? Everytime I come over here I get this “ahhhhhh” – deep breath of love thing!
The retreat sounds like a Gracefest – so wonderful.
I also read your earlier remembering post – about your friend and the rest of the story (as you remember it). I think I “get” wanting to look at more of who he was and your relationship was than the sad – and I’m touched by how you’ve done that.
You are a wonder! sending hugs…
.-= Square-Peg Karen´s last post … Are We Communicatin’ Yet? =-.
Hooray for awesome retreats!
The hard:
– My emotional landscape is a different place, like, every couple of days. It is hard to keep up with me! Even when I am me.
– Oh, completely ridiculous argument demonstrating that even with my pattern-changing superpowers, I still can’t change other people’s patterns. Or make them want to change them. Or keep them from throwing shoes.
– My space! I had a dream that I moved my bed to another room. That is how disastrous the space situation is!
– Sore throat. Boo.
The good:
+ Wrote a Very Personal Ad on my friends-only blog, which helped me think of ways I can try to work with the space stuff. And then one of my friends volunteered to come help me with the space stuff! Hooray!
+ I have pattern-changing superpowers sometimes
+ I grasped another piece of how the thing is going to work and I did not completely freak out
+ Acupuncture
+ Resolution to get more sleep = lots of sleep = lots of happy!
+ One whole day off last weekend and also this weekend
+ Not panicking about having two workshops to prep this week!
+ Finished scary piece of writing and sent it off
Hm. I think things are better than I, um, thought!
Happy travels home!
Havi-
I’m so glad the retreat is going well! Perhaps with some savings and biggification, I will be there with you next year.
The Hard:
Learning how to run a business. Learning that people don’t always behave the way you expect, and that even when it’s not your fault, it is still your problem. A worthwhile, but uncomfortable lesson.
Two all nighters this week, due to insomnia and work pressure. Totally screwed up sleep schedule with very little to show for it.
Feeling like I’m disappointing people. I hate that. Also, feeling like my work isn’t very good, even thought I know that’s really just about me listening to other people who aren’t really experts.
The Good:
Biggification! Got a guest post accepted by a Big Deal blog, which I didn’t expect.
Getting more comfortable with who I am. Finding my ability to be assertive with clients, even when deep down I am still scared. Recognizing that the way I run my business is the way I run things, and that it’s okay to assert that.
Having great friends who support me and help me through the assertive stuckness.
Getting emails from fans who love what I do. That rocks.
.-= Holly´s last post … Ten Things That Almost Made My About Page, But Didn’t. =-.
the hard:
i’m sick sick sick. i think its the flu. it has been kicking my ass for a full week. I have one of those croupy coughs and its gross and exhausting. i’m thankful for the ab workout, but ENOUGH already!
daily drawing/self portrait project derailed. being sick seems like just an excuse. i can still pick up a pencil.
got my boyfriend sick because he insisted on taking care of me. his being sick revealed a very nasty problem i had been suspicious of for a few weeks now…. he admitted he needs help but it was in a text message. i don’t want to be mean, i want to help. my style of helping is pretty firm when it comes to certain things and i don’t want him to hate me for it. ugh. lots of hard here. lots of dread and sadness.
the good:
my boss is super nice. she has been great about letting me have time off to get well.
having a loving boyfriend to take care of me when i felt my worst
i know there was more good, but i’m crawling back under the covers now….
This week has kicked my ass to the point of bruising. But not all in a bad way.
The Hard
– Too much to do. I wrote a list on Monday about purging email and desk piles and stuff and here it all still sits, growing by the minute and adding to the feeling of OVERWHELM.
– Work emergencies, which threw my plans out the window and make me miss important deadlines because there is only me and no one to help me.
– Did I mention OVERWHELM? I am not focusing, and I am a mess and starting to feel like I suck at my job and just in general. The overwhelm causes me to do things like read my blog reader and Twitter and Facebook and compare my face to celebrity faces instead of tacking work. Ugh.
– Because of the busy and the overwhelm, I had to stay at work 3 nights this week until after 7pm, which meant I did not get to spend hardly any time with my daughter this week, and now she’s with her dad. I am sad.
– Week 1 of Dance of Shiva. Seriously, my shoulders? Ouch! You’re right, Havi, it’s hard! (but good, see below)
– My new boss, who isn’t on the job yet, may be great, but I’m not used to having anyone actually look at what I’m doing, and he is, and I’m scared that he’s going to tell me I’m doing it wrong and make me change and argh! i hate being closely judged and especially being told I’m wrong.
The Good
– a very important and influential person who usually throws me under the bus, especially in public, like at board meetings, sang my praises at our board meeting on Wednesday. He gave me credit for a save that wasn’t all mine, and it felt great.
– I found out I will be able to hire another person to help with the overwhelm. Because I am in a space of going for it, I am asking to hire a 2nd person who will allow me to focus on what I’m really good at and let go of the stuff that I’m only OK at.
– My foot, which was really injured last week and had me all worried, is getting better.
– Dance of Shiva, week 1. Oh how I am laughing at myself. I’ve been working on just getting the arms parts down. I was feeling a little cocky and decided to do the very first bit on “fast” and holy cow it was ridiculous. And fun. I’m getting better every time I do it.
– BING of major amplitude about my relationship with my ex, about being married and about living my truth (and why I don’t). I’ve been stuck in therapy for the past 2 weeks, and this week, it all came unstuck in terms of IDing core beliefs. Coincidence with the Shivanaut stuff? I think not.
– Mystery of the missing socks: solved!
– Tomorrow, a fun photography class, that is free.
.-= lynn @ human, being´s last post … The mystery of the missing white socks =-.
re: tea. While I read your post, this happened: eerie & beautiful. Also, it occurred to me later that the tea I chose is not one I usually drink, but one I’ve only had in the company of dear friends, which is to say I picked it to commemorate a special occasion.
The Hard: Still not feeling well. Not horrible but enough to be irritated by the not better yet.
Online bill pay which is usually a great idea broke, so I had to endure -13 wind chill to mail check which will be late anyway. And then there’s the hassle of reimbursements because it’s not my fault & all concerned parties know that but can’t do anything until after they’ve charged me late fees & such. Grr. Yes, there was a pay by phone option, but it cost $10! which no one had said they’d refund. Besides, I’d just as soon not tell Visa my bank info.
The Good: Made more progress* with my photography site & kind of see how to make its existence part of my blog. Got a little derailed by the credit card thing–which, hey, I only became aware of by chance–but that’s ok.
Getting over the it has to be perfect before saying it exists thing. Also feeling convinced and confident about my photography, committed to it. May be a fleeting feeling, but I’m enjoying it while it’s here, storing it up for times of doubt.
*see? progress is not just the web equivalent of tangible, but also mental, huzzah!
.-= claire´s last post … Whoa =-.
The existence of Our Baby Koala Overlords explains *everything*. They look cute, but they’re really kind of mean.
This week’s hard:
– Working hard, almost every waking hour this week. And knowing next week will be the same.
– Having to tough it out through a headache today because of a deadline. Was hoping to be able to wrap everything up by mid-afternoon, but the brain fog is slowing me way down.
– I twisted something in my back last Friday in yoga class and spent the first few days of this week in some pain until it worked itself out.
– Catsitting. It upsets the normal uneasy truce our own cats have grudgingly established. They are all acting totally wacko and driving me nuts.
This week’s good:
– Two more new referrals this week, both fun projects that pay decently. I hate having to go sell myself to prospective clients, so I’m really liking the way this chain of referrals is making my life a happier place.
– My new systems for handling projects and other commitments are really kicking in, and the overload is not as crazymaking as it has been in the past. There’s still a lot to accomplish, but there are plans and methods in place to make sure nothing is dropped and I’m not scrambling at the last minute.
– I had a lovely belated birthday dinner with a friend last night, and we split the most wonderful piece of chocolate cake.
Happy Friday, everyone!
.-= Lori Paximadis´s last post … tidbits: avalanche edition =-.
Wow I want to totally read everyone’s Hard and Good this week before I do my own but I am tired and sleep beckons and 6 am will be here far too soon which is one of my hards.
Another is having an anxiety attack while sitting in the front of a seminar room filled with people and the speaker having asked me what I do, in a room of 180+ people.
Very very hard.
The good – not getting the tears until after I told her and the room full of 180 people what I do. Giggling twice before I could get it out of my mouth.
Not being embarassed by the tears streaming down my face after all that happened. Actually being really proud of myself for not running from the room and breathing my way through it.
Also more than an hour of networking after all this happened.
Yeah it was good week. The first part of it was spent preparing myself for what I thought might be a hard weekend. Not so, thus far. Two and one half days to go.
I hope all Chickeneers weekends are good, easy, enjoyable, happy and full of wacky. I promise I’ll read everyone before me, before the chicken next week.
Retreat! Someday…
The Hard:
Someone managing to say ridiculously stupid and insensitive things about our adoption bad news, despite me telling them what not to say.
Report cards. Does anyone really read them? Do they take the suggestions for helping their kid? Am I just talking to myself?
Grumpy teacher in my room for a demo lesson – giving me nasty looks while I was teaching.
Amazingly bad anxiety nightmare about new yoga teaching gig.
The sleep lost due to nightmare and overall anxiety.
The Good:
Knowing deep down the stupid comment maker can’t help it, that it almost made me laugh.
Returning to work and my students being so happy I was back.
District coach really excited to be in my classroom during the demo lesson.
Observing a friend’s yoga class and breathing a sigh of relief. She makes it look so easy. In a good way.
Reading aloud to my class – The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane. So sad it kills me everytime and the kids can’t get enough of it.
Exercise in the bad weather! I never do that.
The SUN!
.-= Tami´s last post … Yoga+Music365 (day28) – Changing Horses by Ben Kweller =-.
Monster Sidecar, for sure. In fact, I’m sure I drank one of those the other night…..
@emilylime – hugs to you for the cat hard. I used to have a cat that did the scratching on the door at night thing. I finally made a kind of gate consisting of a piece of carpet-covered wood large enough to fit across the door and heavy enough that he wouldn’t pull it over on himself. I called it the “Spike Barrier” (Spike was my cat’s name).
The good
– Totally making progress on my THING!!!! Lots of distinctions about what my THING really is and, more importantly, what it ISN’T. Good to know what it isn’t so now I can let that go without feeling like I’ll be missing out. Yay THING!
– Writing things for my website that aren’t half bad. Noticing that, hey, I’m kinda entertaining…
– Last minute date with a friend involving whiskey. At a new hipster bar that also turned out to be low-key and cool. Whiskey! Yay!
– New friend whose thing is helping group leaders be awesome and he also thinks he might want MY THING. Serendipitous events, yay!
Happy Friday, everyone!
The hard
– Husband had a sleepless night after his own date with too many beers. Nowhere to go in our 400 square foot condo so I didn’t get any sleep either. Tired and pretty useless the next day.
– Wanting to get it right and figure it out.
– Daily meditation practice not going so well. Mostly I forget about it, don’t do it, tell myself I’ll do it later, don’t want to do it. Finally understanding that I don’t have a practice at all yet, if what we mean by practice is showing up for it when you said you would. Ugh!
I don’t have a chicken, but I had to cast my vote for Monster Sidecar. The goggles! The little head cover! This needs to be more than just one guy. It needs to be a movement! I want to see monster sidecars everywhere! Yes!
Like so many here, I welcome our baby koala overlords.
The retreat sounds truly amazing. Wish I was there, even though my week was 80% fantastic and only 20% frustrating.
.-= Sonia Simone´s last post … How To Write For Regular Readers =-.
Sort of an up and down week, but the good’s been really good, so yay!
The Hard
– Money stress and woe. I should be used to it or something, but I just never am, and it stirs up a ton of mucky Stuff. Ew.
– Erratic sleeping of erraticness, and a lot of having to get up in the morning for this or that thing.
– Tired and bleh.
– A little bit of worky frustration here and there, nothing big but it all adds up.
– Not enough Be a Cartoon people! Okay, this isn’t really that hard, but I was really digging the chance to draw so much.
– Too much rain, not enough sunshine and going for walks and seeing other humans.
The Good
+ A bunch of great teleclasses this week, even if they were all at 11am, aka way too early for my night owl self.
+ Hot delicious tea in the mornings during those calls, and being able to talk (mostly) when I had questions.
+ Etsy sales! I admit it, @blondechicken & @copygeniusgirl are totally right, and I am so, so happy to finally have something going on that front.
+ Today is a day off and it’s awesome.
+ I love being inside in the warm and listening to the rain outside, with warm blankies and comfy mitts and awesomeness.
+ Being stuck in my burrow means lots of stuff got done, including the things that led to the Etsy sales.
+ Inspired to keep making neat stuff for Etsy as a result.
+ Got a couple of awesome client prospects I need to gently nurture into real clients.
+ Got an idea for my first (utterly information-free) product for Not Dead Yet.
+ Got kittehs.
.-= Amy Crook´s last post … Thursday Means Cartoons! =-.
So wonderful to read about your terrific week! Retreat is the BEST! Ocean is great too.
The hard:
Really tough week at work. Two out-of-town trips (why oh why do my ears hurt when I fly despite gum-chewing, drugs, etc?). Critical and inappropriate “performance review” from boss, held at airport gate in front of several strangers. Sigh.
The good:
I’m home sweet home! The week is over! My kitties are happy to see me (probably because its cold and I am a large mobile heater in their tiny minds)!
There was a beautiful full moon last night.
Sunshine!
I *have* a pain-in-neck job, which many people wish they had.
I’m in my jammies, drinking coffee, don’t have to leave the house for a WHILE.
Hi Havi… gee, for me, it’s like you never left! 🙂
The hard:
– news of my 9 yr old niece (and closest cousin and bud to my 9 yr old son) going in for a tonsillectomy and then being diagnosed with leukemia. Started chemo on Thursday.
– Harder: seeing her poor dad losing all faith in the goodness and beauty of the universe as a result. I guess I would too.
The good:
– Taking the whole week off so we, as a family, could lend support.
– Having a thunk in the head to rearrange my own priorities and be present to my sons. Now. While they are alive and healthy.
– Getting into deeper touch with my own faith in the goodness and beauty of the universe in light of something so tragic.
What an adventure to be human…
.-= Gina´s last post … Letters to a Young Therapist =-.
Gina, sending lots of love and light and healing to your niece.
Surely koala’s would be brilliant overlords, they’d just need to be kept well supplied with eucalyptus…
The Hard:
-being so tired STILL, although it gradually seems to be lifting
-dealing with criticism – peer critiquing on my MA course has sometimes made me want to smack someone and ask them ‘for the love of god, you’re doing a writing MA, can you not actually read what I’ve written’, even though I’m trying to understand that’s everyone’s nervous doing a new thing.
The Good:
– feeling I’m getting good stuff out of the course
– my self confidence creeping back after the bashing it took in the autumn
– working with nice people who I can actually have a laught with
– cat squidging
– nachos and wine with a friend
– my graduate tuition loan seems to have gone throuhg *big sigh of relief*
– realising that I’m listening to my body and not fighting it
.-= Jane´s last post … Mudlarks….Or Not =-.
So much playing…. I bet that did your soul so much good. You just can’t beat laughing until your sides want to split and playing like a six year old.
It’s mostly why I enjoy hanging out with six year olds – they don’t look at me funny when I join in.
Onto the chicken:
the hard:
– Endoscopy disgustingness: Ugh. Tubes. Awful. Terrifying for those moments horribleness. And knowing that whilst I wasn’t scared of this because I didn’t know what to expect, if they ask me for another one I will be terrified.
– Tiredness, sadness, tiredness – the sadness comes hand in hand with the tiredness. I think they might be star crossed lovers. One leads, the other follows.
– Colds – yeah – snot. Gross.
The wonderful:
-My sister came to stay! Yay! Hurrah! She brought my niece! I love them both so much my heart could pop and I got them all to myself for two days. Ah, it was the bestest.
– Seeing friends again who are back from their holidays. Makes me feel like less of a social freak since starting shift work. Friends! You can’t beat em.
– Back to uni. Strangely this is what I needed. A bit of routine and a reminder of what I am doing and why. Makes it all more real and not some distant memory of something I did once and which is lost forever in the past.
– Making new friends. Yes, I think I am. Which is a wonderful thing.
.-= Wormy´s last post … In Praise of the Negative =-.
A big “yes!” to time going by way too quickly, and to saying goodbye to the new routines. I miss them all. And I miss you all.
As for the disappointments about the place – you know, at one point I realised that I had grown fonder of the place and would even happily go again in spite of those minor things (which, interestingly, weren’t feeling quite so annoying anymore). I wondered why for a second, and what came to me is that it felt different (or I felt differently about the place) because we had infused Asilomar with our energy. At that point, it was so full of the wonderful energy of our group and retreat that the annoyances really out faded in the background. I now realise I should have told you that as soon as I realised it, so as to relieve the poor momma hen (and her stuff)! 🙂
.-= Josiane´s last post … Taking action instead of resolving to do so =-.