Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Eighty Chickens. Yeesh.
Time flies when you do a completely non-interesting thing every week.
Oh, my lovely Chickeneers of the High Seas! Unite in the crappiness that is February Cranky.
Because I have a serious case of the February Cranky. Which is why there is a helluva long section of The Hard this week. Sorry about that.
The hard stuff
Oh, more business systems stuff.
Finding so many places in my business where I haven’t been on the bridge. And now big fixing to do and not in the mood.
Routines not happening.
I was a bit worried about keeping up with my daily hour of relaxation/nudity practice (which I was sure wouldn’t happen) while away on Retreat.
Weirdly, it wasn’t even an issue. Until I got back. When everything went to hell.
Ugh.
Changes, uncomfortableness, being flustered, more monsters.
Between the system changes and the adjustments, we’ve had a bunch of things kind of … out of order. Like the way an elevator is out of order, not like a filing cabinet.
Though, yeah. That too.
And I was teaching a Kitchen Table class about monsters and then had to deal with a bunch of stuff not working in the middle of teaching it. And gah. Not. Fun.
Worrisome conversations.
Do not like.
Ow. Head. Coordination. Floor.
Got all dizzy at Lindy Hop class.
Mostly because my gentleman friend forgot that I have to spin about seventy thousand times more than he does. And partly because I forgot to remind him.
Super-duper headache.
Overbooked.
Again.
Monsters overload! Total sneak attack!
I’m pretty good with negotiating with my monsters and meeting them where they are.
But a bunch of them showed up at once on Toozday, and there was a real Crankypants moment.
The neighbor’s dogs.
Are sweet and gorgeous and will not stop barking. And they are driving me out of my mind.
The good stuff
Finally realizing that all this crap was related to the annual February Cranky.
That was a huge relief and I was able to calm the hell down, and get out of bed and other Useful Things.
Phew.
Taxes done!
I am a happy pirate queen now that the biggest headache of the year is done.
And meeting with our pirate CPA this afternoon.
Except he doesn’t know that he’s a pirate.
Which makes me giggle every time I think about it.
Another excellent Drunk Pirate Council.
Given that I’ve spent the entire past year doing everything in my power to avoid having meetings and postpone them whenever possible, this is pretty outstanding.
Not only do I not postpone Drunk Pirate Council, I actually looked forward to it all week.
Being metaphor mouse.
Thanks to the lovely, lovely metaphors, I have been getting massive amounts of things done.
Big Shivanautical epiphanies.
Still getting my ass — mostly metaphorically — kicked by the fabulous Dance of Shiva and writing down as much as I can.
Fabulous office chair makes life better.
*wiggles toes*
Cairene.
My beloved Cairene MacDonald is the great fixer of systems.
I got a genius coaching session from her this week and she made everything better in about fifteen minutes.
The good that comes from post-retreat Cranky February depression?
A really good dammit list.
All sorts of things going on there now.
Effortlessness. Unexpected and awesome.
Two potentially hard things resolving themselves easily.
Much to my astonishment.
And other good things!
I baked some mostly excellent pita bread. Yum.
And Anna was visiting! And dinner with Denise. And Roller Derby tomorrow night!
And … playing live at the meme beach house!
Yes, that’s a Stuism too.
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week?
Monster Ambush
They’re playing in town all week. Except that it’s really just one guy.
And … STUISMS of the week.
Stu is my paranoid McCarthy-ist voice-to-text software who delights in torturing me misunderstanding me. I can’t stand him.
- boast repeat Hank’s February obsession instead of “post-retreat Cranky February depression”
- Sapping on Wicker instead of “Zapping the Tickler”
- kelp me heal with iguanas instead of “help me deal with iguanas”
- hex draw mix pettifore instead of “extra mixed metaphor”
- compass daisy good-for-nothing mod of pathetic who’s her dump instead of “dumb-ass lazy good-for-nothing model of pathetic loserdom”
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.
Follow
Blimey Havi, that’s a tough week.
February cranky is interesting. I have a theory that February is a strange irritant because it is short, likes to change how long it is and then has a school holiday in the middle of it (in the UK at least) which throws everyone out of whack. The consequence is that Feb always feels like it’s only about 3 days long but you have 30 days of work to do.
meanwhile back at the ranch:
the hard
the europe stuff. i met with my heavyweights and they were great, we have a plan of attack and I’ve been working on it.
worked a really, really long day yesterday to do work to keep the europe project activity going even in the face of all the question marks about its continuation.
wife has had a tough week. feel for her. a lot.
I pulled my neck getting out of the shower on thursday. definitely can’t play cricket tonight – Bah!
the good
good meetings this week – I felt useful.
i had my eyes tested: all healthy and the myopia is improving with age, a consequence of long-sightedness arriving! it’s all a bit weird and expensive but should solve my *very tired eyes* problem. they’ve been working too hard because the prescription in my specs is too high. *expensive* but worth it.
Still managing to write in the midst of it all.. just.
have a great weekend fellow Chickeneers of the High Seas xxxx
.-= Lucy´s last post … Bath Abbey Light =-.
I’ve never understood why so many people dislike February so much, other than that stupid silent letter R in the middle of it. But then with all that hard stuff in it… yeah, a tough few weeks.
So, Hard.
Working for a living is tough. And when you have paralysing monsters it’s harder.
Asking for help is difficult.
Really wanting to get back into Shiva Nata but not having the time. And not making the time.
Trying to make sweet music then having an “everything I make turns to poo” mental brain attack.
And there is good.
Seeing old friends. Learning new things. Having adventures. Gradually moving closer to where I want to be. New album from my most favourite band in the world.
Over all… happy.
Hope everyone else isn’t having too bad a month
.-= Paul´s last post … That Impossible H Word =-.
I usually like February, it’s a month with a lot of my family birthdays and I have lots of happy memories. This February has been kind of roller coastery here and I am sorry for all of your hard.
This week’s hard:
Friendship and relationship hard meeting and causing sparks and hard feelings.
Hormones having really really lousy timing.
The stiff neck that won’t go away, and a bit of a panic yesterday as there has been a case of bacterial meningitis reported on campus and of course one of the signs of meningitis is a stiff neck. This is a bit more chronic though, so I’m fairly certain it’s not.
School hard. Like the Bruce Willis movies or maybe the Buffy episode, but with much fewer tasty action heroes, though there are some days that neither Spike nor McCain could save.
The good:
My happy little ceramic bluebird sitting here keeping me company. I smile every time I see her.
Having a good heart to heart with the friend. Feeling heard and understood and not so invisible.
Kombucha tea from Yogi Tea.
Making progress on Alice, getting good feedback from other people on her.
Getting my entry out to the Best of Ohio on time.
Seeing the stickers filling the calendar and knowing I’m moving my body every day. Feeling stronger and more confident. 🙂
.-= Andi´s last post … For Aisha =-.
I’m still pretty unsure about how I feel about February. Maybe because it is also the month in which I
celebraterecognize the start of my Personal New Year – minus major hoopla and yeah wellCan I add a Blur section to the Hard and the Good because honestly that’s what this week was – a bluuuuuurrr
First it was going to fast and I was overwhelmed and brain farted an entire morning – so I took a nap, for the entire afternoon and evening.
Then it was just right and I breezed through 8 hours of work in less than 10 hours.
Then it was too slow and nothing wanted to be done in a timely fashion or apparently at all.
Now today, it’s fast again and I’m brain farting and it’s already 9:50 AM which means I’ve just spent 5 hours doing what exactly…
I didn’t write anything useful down 1)in my journal 2) in my Notes notebook or 3)or on slips of paper. Nothing.
So blurrr, blurrrr, blurrrrr…Is it naptime?
Oh the February…I’ve been trying to notice the little signs of winter ending that start in February. Woke up to a cardinal outside my room this morning. Geese honking overhead again. Earlier sunrise, later sunset…but still. Cold. Cold cold cold.
But there’s always the chicken…so…
Hard…
-Construction in the office next door. Power tools. Vacuums. The noise…ugh. I don’t even know what the current sound is. It sounds like someone plunging a toilet, but there aren’t any over there. Distracting.
Good…
-Construction is for an office for me that will hopefully give me space from noisy co-worker who is, quite frankly, worse than the power tools.
-Wonderful moment of realization on the novel. Much research is required to move forward now, but it will be a better book in the end.
-Finally built up the nerve to go to the gym and run. Don’t like treadmills much, but the streets are…not feeling safe right now. It was good. Weird, but good. The whole locker room scene causes me to flash back to uncomfortable high school sidelong glances of comparison and contrast, ultimately delivering happy thoughts as I am grateful to be older.
-Surprising and unexpected easing of the usual hard. Relationship ease. Will it last? Trying to figure out what it is that I’m getting right…so I can keep doing it.
.-= Emily´s last post … Looking Inward, What Are All These Snakes Doing in Here? =-.
Yup, February’s been pretty hard over here too.
Hard
* Sick!
* Missing my niece’s birth because of Sick.
* Having to cancel tutoring because of Sick.
* Not getting enough work done because of Sick.
* Did I mention Sick?
Good
* I have a niece! She’s beautiful and healthy and I’ll probably get to meet her this weekend.
* Feeling a little better, at last. There will be no more Sick! (Please, I hope.)
* Got some work done, in spite of Sick.
.-= Barbara J Carter´s last post … The 2010 Los Angeles Art Show =-.
Havi, I’m so sorry for all the hard, painful things you’ve experienced this week. Sending showers of sunshine to smooth your way through the rest of February.
My hard this week:
Flu. Body pain. Exhaustion. Nausea. Fiery throat. Voice like a reticent frog. Not fun.
My good this week:
Energy work for myself. Healing! Feeling infinitely better this morning. 🙂
Taught a great class.
Looking forward to teaching in Jen Louden’s virtual retreat this evening.
Reading Wolf Hall–last year’s Booker Prize-winning novel.
Wishing you all a beautiful weekend!
Love, Hiro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Sunday Poem: Kali, Queen of the Night Sky… =-.
Um. Maybe Stu needs a hearing aid.
This week…
The hard
– way too many migraines. Just too many. Feh.
– finding out my new-to-me knitting machine needed a new sponge bar
The good
+ finding a new sponge bar on ebay. What did we ever do before ebay?
+ almost all of my stuff on ebay has sold or will sell. This makes me happy.
+ getting my studio in usable shape.
+ carding a few batts, which turned out to be something I can do when the head is malfunctioning. Things that don’t require the thinky bits or eyes focusing are good. Yay!
.-= Riin´s last post … New stuff =-.
God, I hate February. I’m so glad I’m not the only one. Every year, it sucks, like clockwork. I really ought to dig out my anti-SAD lightbox.
So, yeah, I’ve been feeling crappy since the 1st – literally, bang on the 1st. Everything went to poo. In fact, so much sucks that I don’t think I even want to write a Hard section today (though I might just mention that I am soooo tired of the ‘I don’t know what to do with my life’ thing and would like it to be over now – 36 years of it is enough). And some of the Hard I actually can’t write about for reasons of other people’s privacy.
So I shall do the Good, instead. It’ll be good for me.
Support. Things sucking made me actually go looking for support, and it turns out I have some. Two friends in particular have been very kind and helpful.
Went up another level, masonicly. Unsurprisingly (for masonry is clever), it was just what I needed, very gentle and supportive.
Superbowl! Friends! Roleplaying! All on one day. Awesomesauce.
Ill friend on the mend. This is a Very Good Thing.
May February stop sucking for everyone very soon.
Oh god…February. *February!* Always the very hardest part of the year for me. Especially this week.
But the upside? It’s only about two more weeks until March. (I like to cheat and count March as the beginning of Spring.) I keep reminding myself of when I had *four months* to wait until March. Then I feel a lot better.
.-= Michelle´s last post … How to Write an Introduction that Grabs your Right People =-.
I’m not a fan of February. I especially hate all the Valentine’s Day ads to tell you how if your relationship was perfect, you’d have diamonds and flowers and he’d be kissing your feet or something. Jerks (people who make those ads).
The hard…
– Big ugly project went live over the weekend, and had some bumps at the beginning of the week.
– Extra sleepy and lots of headaches this week, decreasing my productivity.
– Thinking about deceased dad this week. His birthday is tomorrow. Would have been 65.
The good…
– Big ugly project appears to finally be done! Survived the bumps.
– Starting working through Megan’s Idea Catalyst Kit and it is having the right effect, I think.
– Actually making some progress on other projects. Yay!
.-= Avonelle Lovhaug´s last post … The cynicism of hourly fees for programming =-.
The Hard:
-Last week, when I said I was feeling better? I felt *much* worse Saturday and Sunday.
-We were gonna do homemade fondue? Yeah, sick overrides that.
-Snow. Just like everyone else.
-Completely screwed up and missed a networking event because I thought it was at 6:30, not 4:30.
-Went to a networking seminar, which gave advice that alternated between obvious and useless
-I have no current references, which makes job hunting diffucult
-Tried to make biscuits, but despite the fact that I followed the directions exactly, they came out to be less like a “thick dough” and more like a “thin batter”
-The night of the horrible biscuits? We were supposed to have them with C’s mother’s chilli, which she sent over and which is amazing. Plus the night before that, we met up with one of C’s friends who is pretty and smart and successful and athletic and outgoing while I… am not. I am sick of standing next to perfect people!
The Good:
+Well, I’m legitimately feeling better now.
+We get *professional* fondue tomorrow
+Nowhere near as much snow as points south got.
+Actually, the biscuits tasted ok. They just looked like crap. But who am I trying to impress? C just wants them to taste good.
+Ok… C’s mom makes *really good chilli*
.-= Laura G´s last post … In which I evaluate the past week. =-.
The Hard:
-Unthinkable amounts of snow. Seriously, 28 inches from blizzard #1, and then 10 more inches a couple of days later
-Painful shoveling arms/shoulders/back
-Major cabin fever, since literally trapped in house for a couple of days
The Good:
+Strong body to help me shovel and clear a path from the front door to the rest of the world
+Had electricity and ample food for week of storm
+Got to work from home for a week, since federal gov’t (my employer) shut down, so no loss of income
+Spent quality time with gentleman friend and pets
+Wasn’t sleep-deprived; in fact, slept extremely well due to hard work of shoveling
+Had time to journal and reflect
+Lots of time staring out window and enjoying/appreciating nature
+Enjoying my community and even my coworkers after several days of isolation
+Renewed appreciation for daily routine
+Grateful to have 100% access to outside world again
Let me join in the February-Cranky-Choir: Yes, I thoroughly dislike February, too. And yes, on a louder note, I am sooo sick of the snow and the ice and the and cold, cold, cold weather, too. And I can’t replace my winter boots that are falling apart because all the shops have started selling their spring collection only, and chocolate easter eggs.
The hard:
– Just to make sure that you got it: February
– Hovering on waves of disorientation.
The good:
+ More cleaning, decluttering, tidying up.
Think I am done now. Satisfaction.
Hi Sweetie,
So sorry to hear that you’ve got the February crankies ): For me that always happens in january so I’m coming out of my own crankazoid time right about now. Which is a great big good!!
Other good stuff:
It’s raining here in Northern california…. a LOT…. which can contribute to major cranky depression… but we need the rain… and OHHHHHH…. the grass on the rolling hills is so brilliant and green and the poppies with their orange-gold splendiferousness are just awesome! Spring is springing!! So very, very good!
The remodel that I though would NEVER, EVER END…. did.. end, I mean. And now we have the house to ourselves again and a gorgeous royal turquoise blue living room with lime green trim and a chandelier called the Squid with lime green shades and color, color everywhere and all the electrical outlets work and are grounded. Yes, yes…. so very good.
And thankfully, not much hard at all this week.
Hugs,
Chris
.-= chris zydel´s last post … Happiness Is A Warm Glue Gun =-.
Havi, so sorry for the rough stuff going on. And It is good to know a lot of other people are having crappy Februaries (is that a word? what else would you do with the y?) as well. ick.
the hard:
fighting the walking pneumonia.(its just one guy!) I am finished with antibiotics and still have crud in my lung. kind of nervous about what will need to be done next. also, i am tired of coughing. ugh.
had a VERY tough thing happen with my gentleman friend. he has a lot of hard stuff he is working through, and he hit a wall and had a melt down and it was revealed there was LOTS of alcohol consumption going on as an escape and it was scary and sad. I had to say tough things and I chose words poorly and it hurt him and it was just AWFUL.
my life and routines are stuck and frozen because I don’t feel like I have a home. I am camping and hiding in my room and needing MY OWN PLACE.
I am not drawing or taking a portrait every day. it stopped when I got really sick and I am having a really hard time getting going again.
the Good:
I am feeling much better overall despite the rattling in my lung.
I navigated the situation with my gentleman friend by really hanging on to my sovereignty and saying what I needed to say about how it was all making ME feel and what my intentions and hopes are for the situation. Aside from one poorly chosen description, it worked and he understood and was appreciative. It felt good to be true to myself. It felt good to be there for him without sacrificing things for myself. It felt good to be brave.
I have a plan to get out of the roommate situation and into my own apartment. My gentleman friend is going to let me stay at his place so I can save up enough for initial move-in costs, deposits etc… I am feeling better about finally knowing for sure what I need in my life to function in a healthy way and to be able to make art again. I NEED MY OWN PRIVATE SPACE. definitely at the top of my Dammit! list 🙂
For those of you with snow, enjoy it for me! Have a great weekend everyone!
.-= carrie´s last post … well yippee =-.
Would love to know, if Havi is willing to share, the pita bread recipe. MMM pita bread.
Quickie chicken today, I have to run off to finish packing and things. It’s like fast food. 😉
Sorry to hear about your February Cranky, but I’m glad you’ve got some perspective on it!
The Hard:
– Money was still so stuck at the start of the week, there was Much Sturm und Drang.
– My networking group has dissolved into nothingness, poof, after many months of trying to get it up and running smoothly.
– Had some overwhelm that rose up and smacked me.
– No more Etsy sales this week, boo.
The Good
+ Money began to all magically unstick itself on Monday, and has been slowly falling into place all week.
+ Feeling much lighter without the networking commitment, both in terms of time/energy and money.
+ Overcame the overwhelm by sitting down and making a paper list, of things, most of which is all crossed off and done now.
+ Gaming con this weekend! There will be dress-up and board games and possibly an rpg or two, and yay.
+ Cats still cute and loving, purry little balls of trouble. Like they are.
.-= Amy Crook´s last post … The Value of Staying Small =-.
Oh, Havi, I am so sorry to hear about all the hard, and the February crankies. I’ve got Dar Williams lyrics looping in my head, myself, from her song, “February,” which is a pretty but very sad little song.
I am, however, thrilled to hear about the new office chair! I’m also most curious about it; since you’ve said you don’t work at a desk, I’m thinking that it isn’t necessarily a conventional office chair, though of course it could be. Details would be most welcome!
Welcome, Chicken…
Hard:
-Being snowbound for a solid week. There were good things about it, and I’ll come to those, but it has still been a hard thing.
-Running low enough on food supplies to begin to feel the pinch. Mind you, we were never in any danger of actually starving, but began to get a wee bit anxious.
-Despite a week of being homebound with time on my hands, I managed to remain stuckified, avoidant, and in deep dark resistance about my academic projects. The next check-in date with my adviser is this coming Tuesday, and I’ve done next to nothing since our last communication. Crap.
-Loss of income due to being snowbound. Concern that some of my clients may not understand that I really couldn’t get to them. Feeling that we “should” (there’s one of those blasted shoulds!) have been able to somehow dig ourselves out, without having to wait for one of the local snow removal businesses to be able to come to our aid.
Good:
+Being snowbound has led to massive quantities of sleep and rest, the likes of which I haven’t seen in, oh, years. Wow!
+Excellent time for meditation, contemplation, creative rumination, and general puttering.
+Given that we had to be snowbound, we were still lucky in many respects. We had electricity, heat, hot water, phones, Internet. We had enough food.
+Despite some twinges of cabin fever, the four of us have really been getting along beautifully. I’m grateful for further reminders of what a wonderful little family I have here!
+As I type these words, we are finally getting our driveway cleared, and are making plans to enjoy our new-found freedom within the next couple of hours. Happy ending! Glorious weekend in store!
Sending virtual hugs and warm wishes to all who want them. Thank you all for being here!
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … Snowbound artist date =-.
Oh hooray for the chicken. Seriously. I can have the crappiest week and it just doesn’t matter because I can come here on Friday and you will Chicken with me and everything is better. Yay.
Hugs and warmth to everyone stuck in the snow (ack!) and to anyone else who would also like.
@Amy Crook – also a week of Sturm Und Drang for me, must be something in retro-something. No. No idea.
@Leocadia – oh that’s totally unfair. Stupid chocolate easter eggs when you want boots!
Love love love all around.
Thank goodness for the Friday Chicken. MWAH!
Sorry about your February crankies, Havi. Crankies and monster attacks suck.
As for me this week?
The hard:
* relating to myself as an artist, not a fraud. Arguing/reasoning with the monsters that tell me that my mother was the artist, I’m the dancer, and I should just stop thinking about pens and paint.
* Getting stuff up for sale BECAUSE of those discussions.
*Losing a whole day because of sick cats (the old one this time) and sick Daddies. 🙁 Poor guy has bronchitis. I can relate.
*Finding I really hate digital cameras, and really miss my 35mm. 🙁
*My studio and office have been COLD all week, making it hard to type, draw or stitch.
The good:
*I DID get one thing up on Etsy, and I’m gearing up for the pen and inks…
*Dad’s getting better.
*There is snow forecast for tonight.
*We found the best man from our wedding – a close friend of the EOs, who’s been out our life for about 8 years… gee, that’s how long we’ve been married! He’s doing well, and we get to have dinner with him tonight!
*The photography got done for Etsy/website.
*I figured out how to continue my tutorial series without choking on the “have to get this all stitched before I can post it!” panic.
.-= Romilly´s last post … Jacobean design in Stumpwork… =-.
Totally awesome Stuisms. Thanks for the laugh!
.-= Cindy Morefield´s last post … Studio Stories – Toward an Artist Statement =-.
The Hard: Overreacted when politics came up in a peripheral way at dinner, kinda found myself shouting. Quasi-light-hearted shouting, but shouting all the same. Realized this and apologized very soon after but didn’t get across what had actually triggered it. Course that occurred to me later. Need to find a way so that certain names in and of themselves won’t set me off…
Today, I was in a store and thought of a question I should ask while there and totally couldn’t bring myself to do it. Oddly enough, calling them actually seemed preferable even though I mostly hate the phone. What’s up with that? Not even like it was a hard question. Grr.
The Good: Olympics start tonight, rawr!
I told my blog that my shop exists today. It’s still evolving but it’s out there and I’m willing to say so. Post hit at 2:12 PM on 2/12 which feels auspicious.
Been getting back into working out after illness hiatus.
Sun! The temp was around 32 the last 2 days, sunny, with blue skies. A most welcome reprieve. Got out to enjoy it some this afternoon though the shots I took were not with preferable lighting.
All in all, pretty decent. Sorry your week was tumultuous, Havi. Here’s to a balmy day or two in your near future to perk your February up!
.-= claire´s last post … Shop Update Friday #1 =-.
Maybe I’m the only one here who is actually enjoying February thus far. Perhaps because January sucked so badly. February is finally seeing an inflow of money and other goods things whereas January just saw an outflow of money and many difficult situations to deal with.
The Hard:
– Way more work than there are hours in the week – a recurrent problem of mine!
– Getting the first “B” on a class assignment. I could try to blame it on working about 80 hours a week leading up to the assignment, or the fact that assignment instructions were nebulous. But in reality, I’m simply NOT engaged by the course material as I refused to drink the Kool-Aid (this is a reference to Jim Jones and his cult).
– An earthquake that woke me up at 4am on the day I should have been able to sleep until 6am. I live in the Midwest. We don’t get earthquakes very often – I think I remember 4 or 5 in the 48 years I’ve been on this planet!
The Good:
– Finally having a real full-time position effective February 1st. This after 2 years of working full-time+ for 27 hrs/week pay.
– Being told a stipend is in process to give me an extra 52 hours of pay for January!
– Getting a conference for which funding was denied in January authorized for payment through a different source. This is almost $1,700 that would have come out of my pocket.
– Talking to the right person on campus and getting a annoying matter handled in 62 minutes that had been not been acted on for 3 weeks (and no ETA was being provided) when the proper channels were followed.
– Our office assistant came back after almost 2 months out on medical leave.
– My tenant asking if she could stay 2 extra months! YES!!!! OF COURSE!!!
Have a great weekend everyone! I’m going to drink the Kool-Aid and write a paper this weekend that will bring my grade back up.
– My new work computer is on its way!
–
WTF? The computer line ended up in a strange spot on my last post. Must be the old computer displaying its jealousy about being given its eviction notice!
Hugs all around for those struggling with craptastic February, Snowpocalypse, Sickness and all the other ugh. Big hugs.
Have to do brevity chicken but better that than no chicken so here goes:
Hard:
–Being smacked in the face by old patterns that continue to emerge despite all my work on them. The one in particular is over-helping pattern. Getting too attached to other people’s problems and outcomes. Good grief, Charlie Brown, how can the same song play so many times? And yet . . . .
–Stumbling around in the dark yet again on my solo show as I have to create a new framework/structure for the new stuff that I’ve written and love (yay) but doesn’t fit into the current framework. Could also be a metaphor for my life at large. 🙂
–Feeling so much pain and suffering from friends who are deep in the hard. Being an empathic sponge and taking on their pain despite my best efforts not too. Wondering how to work on this to protect myself without withdrawing.
Good:
–Back on track with healthy eating and exercise. Yay iphone app for helping. Yay me for gently loving myself back to consciousness and self-care.
–Three day weekend coming up. Looking forward to downtime, sleeping in, lazing about, and mixing that up with unstressful productivity.
–Feeling very blessed with a rich community of friends and fellow travelers.
So much for brevity 🙂 Love to all.
Oh Havi! How much better I would have felt if I’d only had the insight to know that everything that’s been pulling me down was just a bad case of the February crankies. My empathies to all of us.
Wrote about my biggest hard over on my blog. Short version: Ignoring what I love and doing All That Is Meaningless instead.
This came after wonderful, extraordinary (really there are not superlatives enough to describe) retreat time with my Teacher. I know good things will come of this. So I’m trying to find an inner space that feels delighted and trusting and doesn’t spill over into too much, too terrifying territory.
Hoping the 2nd half of February goes magnificently better than the first!
.-= Mahala Mazerov´s last post … Do you ever do the opposite of what makes you happy? =-.
Awww, sorry for the hard week which I remember started with very dramatic fist shaking at Monday! BOOO Bad hard, go to your corner immediately! But yay on your good. WooHoo. BIG good. Awesome. Go, my Pirate Queen.
My week…hmm, mostly hard with an edge of WTF! thrown in for good measure.
Hard:
Feeling alone, as in, non supported in ALL areas but especially in my quest for a ‘thing’. THE THING! Always being available for others but others never being available for me. Hard. Sadness.
Realizing all the things I thought were or might be my thing are simply things and not THE. Letting go.
Not sleeping! Cranky pants! Hot flashes! Going through the M (enopause) word and wishing there was simply a switch to throw so it would be over. BAHHHHHH!
February with no snow! Yes, others have too much, hate it, but I’m in Maine for pirate’s sake, there needs to be snow and a snow man. Our snowacalypse only melted. Booo.
Worry for many friends.
The Good:
Loving Stu and wanting one of him for my self for I will hug him and kiss him and make him my own. Oh the laughter he brings me. “compass daisy good-for-nothing mod of pathetic who’s her dump” Giggling causing.
Helping a dear friend through a nervous breakdown moment so he doesn’t have to fake his death and move to another country.
Non-support-y feeling helping me to realize that this Bucko must invent ways of self support and…maybe find new friends to play with. Adventure!
Doctor telling me the M word is nearly finished with me! I shall party till it rains men, iguanas and inebriated chickens! People will talk!
Working with the bridge and metaphors leading me to discover I had had one of my monsters arrested as a stalker and having metaphorical detectives inform me I need him to protect me and be more creative. Soooo I bailed him out of jail! 🙂
Loving the laughter and wisdom I find here and being able to share my scares-me-to-say-outlouds. Thank you.
*scary comluv message below calling me undefined! Oh noes!
Chickeneers! I am so late to the party but much relieved to be here!
Oh dear Havi, it should be called Crankruary or Februcranky, shouldn’t it?
I’m LIKING that! Crankuary for January and Februcranky for February!!!
I’m with you. That’s how the beginning of 2010 has felt for me. And I ended 2009 with such a light and joyful heart!
The Hard:
-Brakes on car still not fixed (just procrastination now)
-Intense talking to Monsters who were, in a very backwards way, trying to protect me from deep hurts in my history.
-Much much crying having to do with above.
-Emotional Exhaustion
The Good:
-Catharsis from said talking to monsters and crying.
-Healing
-I was interviewed for a book on living your true voice!
-New client!
-Revised Pricing Structure after great talk with very experienced attorney doing the same type of work
-Slowly being able to articulate my deep passion behind my Thing–why it matters so much to me
-Many caring helpers to guide me through working with the stuck and the monsters
.-= Rebecca Prien´s last post … How Can I Afford Law Stuff for my Creative Business? =-.
I forgot one of the very best Goods.
People tweeted things like:
It’s official.I think @cnsl2creativity just became the coolest lawyer in the world with this post:
Had to get back on line for this –
and
A DM trying to sell me something USEFUL. FINALLY!!! 😀 Thanks!
about my latest post.
Smile.
.-= Rebecca Prien´s last post … How Can I Afford Law Stuff for my Creative Business? =-.
A quick one. One hard, one good…
The Hard:
-the longest cold/sinus infection/whatever this is in history…including very sore throat
The Good:
-got my driver’s license (today)! Finally!!!
Happy Chick’m.
I’ve bookmarked this for some weekend reading.
Oh goodie- it’s chicken time again!
I second the motion that this week was a blur. I can’t believe it’s friday already, and yet monday seems like a month ago… maybe one of these days I’ll get a handle on the time-space continuum.
In the meantime the hard for this week:
— underestimating how long it would take me to get the techie bits of my new class going.
— forgetting to let my mailing list know about said teleclass until now.
— hard conversations with my sweetie about the hours I’ve been working this week (see above).
The good:
— I figured out that I can’t do a friday chicken on my own blog, much as I love the idea.
— I did get the techie bits figured out and the teleclass is open for bidness (as we say in Texas.)
— In spite of (or perhaps because of) the extra time getting the teleclass going took, I got this month’s articles in ahead of deadline. I’m sure my editor just about fell off her chair when she got my emails!
— Retreat with Jen, Hiro, Fabeku and more… yummy!
Boo to all hardnesses, yay yay YAY for all goodnesses! February is icky but it feels a little bit like we’ve rounded the corner of winter…esp. up here in the snow belt near Buffalo.
Chic-ken:
Hardness:
Started the week off with icky stuckness and no motivation. Boxed up lots of Mom’s clothes and frames and emptied out the crazy labeled drawers.
NO Etsy sales. NOT ONE. It is the week of Valentine’s day, and not ONE of my lovely bonbons sold! After all that crazy work of posting photos, writing clever copy for each one, setting up showcase…Rats. Felt despis-ed and reject-ed, a woman of sorrows (Cue sad Messiah aria).
My brain was blown to bits by Shiva Nata. Could not wrap it around various theory bits, even flummoxed by the cheat sheets that Willie H. so graciously made! Felt beyond stupid and green and that I’ll never get the basic positions right, much less any epiphanies! 🙁
Goodness:
Geaux SAINTS! Hells yeah my team won the Super Bowl! Was that this week? It feels like last year. Had fun with drinking game (whenever Phil Simms said “tahm” instead of “time”) and commenting on FB with buddies.
Boxed up lots of Mom’s clothes and frames and emptied out the crazy labeled drawers. Took them all to Salvation Army!!! WOOT, clear space! So worth ickiness to drop them off.
Had a great metaphor breakthrough, thanks Havi! and have been on the Training Train since and suddenly working out is FUN! I even put down a half a slice of pizza that I really did not want whereas in the past I would have just eaten it. My inner Klingon trainer (formerly mean inner Nazi) has stopped terrorizing me and is being VERY supportive and helpful. Huge. HUGE. Yuuuuuuuge.
Kept on with Shiva Nata despite brain lying in gooey shards on my living room floor. Laughed through most of the flailing, then got another metaphor about a person who has camped out in my head: Havi’s red velvet ropes became PINK velvet ropes and my Klingon is the bouncer! Ha! As I was getting that the phone rang and it was that person with a very nice non-stressy just checking in call! HA HA!
Ended the week on a very upbeat note, even though I am coming down with a little something (did I catch it from all you lovelies?). I plan to use the opportunity to stay in bed and write write write!
XXs and OOs to all of you, me HEART-ies!!!
A day late, but here I am anyway.
February: Add me to the chorus of ughs. December, the snow and the freezing temperatures are still new, and you have some holidays in there, so it’s kind of cool. January, you get to relax after all that December craziness and settle down and actually enjoy nature’s downtime. By February, I’m damn sick of it all, yet the spring clothes are out in the stores and seed and plant catalogs are pouring into my mailbox, all to taunt me even though we’ve still got at least two months of this crap to go. So yeah, ugh.
This week’s hard:
– Had a really off day in yoga yesterday. Stuff that is usually piece of cake was really really hard. Pushed a lot of last-one-picked-in-gym-class, beat-myself-up-about-it buttons.
– Amazingly long list of to-dos this week; no time for any kind of meaningful break.
– I had planned to take all of next week off from editing work to play in the studio for *five days straight,* but I got a call yesterday afternoon that a project I didn’t expect for another week had been moved up and had a very short deadline. Le sigh.
This week’s good:
– Three custom necklace orders! One of them word of mouth, one return customer, and another out of the blue.
– The rush project won’t take all five days next week to complete, so I’ll still get a couple of days off.
– The existing projects are done, with just a couple of loose bits (like invoicing) to clean up this weekend.
Happy halfway through this stupid month, everyone!
.-= Lori Paximadis´s last post … tidbits: avalanche edition =-.
February looks like a good idea with its school holidays and less days, but really it has turned into a cluster eff of knocking-me-off-my-much-needed-schedule-ness. And not being on schedule *pisses me off* – so I guess I’m not really feeling it either.
The Hard:
The Time Bandit stole my week. In a bad way… left me grumpy and exhausted. No time to read or write. Or at least not to enjoy it.
Miss my teacher who is on recess.
Not wanting to be someone who so thrives on a schedule, resisting this part of myself and ultimately just feeling like crap. Not sick, but just really, really bitchy.
Being completely exhausted and a Pajama Day didn’t work its magic as well as one would have hoped. Still freaking tired after spending a day in bed.
2.5 HOURS of making photo copies. I hate this part of my job. It sucks and I wish someone else would do it or figure a way out of it.
Co-worker complaining I wasn’t making said photocopies fast enough for her taste. Having to nicely tell her to back off or do it herself.
Finally felt some hurumph about my blog. Some good feedback from some and way less overall views. It’s just all so exhausting sometimes…
Oh, maybe it’s ME that’s exhausted.
The Good:
Saw my most favorite singer (Rhett Miller) in SF last weekend with oldest/dearest friend. Front row center sing along!
New band to follow – Leslie and the Badgers – amazing!
Decided that teaching yoga is fun. Damnit! And it was.
New yoga students returned and brought a friend! And bought class cards!
Another new (to me) yoga student wrote me a Facebook message that she loved my class and that it really helped her body and she was still thinking about the theme (self-care) days later.
My third graders are growing as students right before my eyes and I feel like a proud teacher most days. Sometimes it brings tears to my eyes how much I love these little boogers. I can’t believe they are going to move on in a couple months… *sigh*
Pajama Day nap. I haven’t done that in months.
Chicken makes me feel better. I hope it works for you too.
.-= Tami´s last post … Yoga+Music365 (day42) – Phases and Stages by Willie Nelson – The In Case You Missed It Edition! Volume 1 =-.
I missed the chicken. Again. Oops.
It’s because I was in London in Friday, as part of the good.
My hard is still pretty low key. I am a bit worried and sad about not being able to stick to any project for long enough to make it work. I’m afraid my attention span just isn’t long enough to really succeed at what I want to do.
The good includes meeting up with all my comicky friends (in London) and getting the ball rolling regarding half quitting my job, also known as working part time.
It also involved me having a potentially rather good idea. It rolls a bunch of potentially rather good ideas up into one, and if I run with it and make it work it would give me an excuse to do yoga, like, all the time, AND write about Shiva Nata, like, all the time. It would pretty much be perfect. I need to have a couple of meetings with my board of monsters though before I can really commit to it.
Happy pretend Friday!
.-= Willie Hewes´s last post … Mascots for Life =-.
I have so much sympathy for you, Havi, about the barking dogs. Our neighborhood seems to be filled with dog owners who can’t grasp the idea that we don’t want to listen to their dogs bark all day and night. Wishing you peace and quiet!
.-= Victoria Brouhard´s last post … Intro to Shmorian Project Planning & the Qualities =-.
Argh, two days late on the Chickening.
Havi, on behalf of all dog owners ever, I’m sorry about the barking dogs. As the owner of two dogs that adore barking (and trying desperately to train them out of it), I know exactly how awful the whole thing can be. Hopefully it’s only a puppy training issue and you’ll have peace and quiet soon.
The Hard:
-I don’t know whether it’s the snow or what, but I had a really bad work week. Unproductive, very little money coming in, and just ugh. I wanted to use it to tweak business stuff, but couldn’t even really get it together to do that.
-Product launch tomorrow! Imposter fear, etc. Still not entirely planned, but it’ll get there.
-The Snowmageddon: I need spring, stat.
The Good:
-Rediscovered my inner workout freak. The vaguely self destructive one that likes extreme sports that bruise you up, but exercise is still good. Debating training/buffing up for roller derby, despite having never done any serious skating.
-The Olympics: While this may possibly be responsible for my current extreme sport wishes, I haven’t enjoyed tv this much in a long time. Really enjoying spending time with the family watching winter sports.
.-= Holly´s last post … The Top Five Website Copy Mistakes =-.
@Havi, I have so much sympathy for you with regard to the barking dogs. Whenever I walk past a house with dogs that bark, I am thankful for my dog, because all that barking would drive me batty.
.-= Elizabeth´s last post … ode to joy, volume 6 =-.
Thank you thank you thank you Havi for reminding me that basically EVERYONE has February crankiness. Its not me, its NORMAL (hate that word). I just got a wonderful flashback of my FOURTH grade teacher (you rule Geoffrey Selling!) saying that January and February are the longest, hardest months.
ANYway…
The Hard
Mom in a lot of pain post-surgery, nothing I can do…helpless
Work is BORING and not engaging or affirming.
A thing I wanted for years is not going to happen. Weeping (ok, howling) ensued.
The Good
I made a delicious vegetarian stew that made my apartment smell of rosemary and sage (yay Moosewood Cooks at Home!)!
I had a little shadow (neighbor’s three year old) follow me around so close I couldn’t see him and we both laughed and laughed!
A walk in sunny coldness (its not as cold out as I thought!)
Mom loved her gifts AND I bought some more
Napping with kitties (boy do they love the large heater/feeder that is me)
Still weeping, but ok. Life goes on.