Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Friday! Chicken!
Hi.
The hard stuff
The February Cranky: still cranky.
I was so sure that it would be better now that I know it’s the February Cranky. It totally worked last week.
But no.
Lots of crank.
Not able to do the stuff that normally gets me out of the cranky.
Screwed up my foot (it’s fine now, no worries) so pretty much everything that makes stuff better was off-limits.
Walking, Dance of Shiva magic, bouncing on the tiny trampoline, swing dancing, a bunch of yoga poses …
Sigh.
Toozday. Stoopid Toozday.
It was overwhelming and hard.
Luckily it ended well.
But man. Lots of teariness and doubt and hating on everything.
Oh, and more systems problems, because we weren’t having enough. Clearly.
To the point that I actually missed a teleclass because I didn’t know I was teaching it.
That sucked. And I felt really bad.
Thank goodness I’ve been in business for enough years that I can write a decent apology letter. Still icky though.
The thing with a systems fail is that it makes you worry about what else isn’t working, and that road leads to all sorts of places.
Hilarious breakdown that was not that funny at the time.
My stuff showed up in a big way and I went off on a crazy long rant about how if I do get the Playground, I will lose my soul.
I’ll be a grown-up. With a mortgage-broker. And how will I look myself in the mirror? And once you have a mortgage broker, it’s all over. I’ll become a Republican. No, a Prussian nobleman. And wear a monocle. And —
And then I had to stop because my gentleman friend was laughing so hard he couldn’t speak.
Did some work on my fear of adulthood sucking all the fun out of my life, and that was also pretty entertaining. I’ll post about it next week.
The good stuff
The Cranky. It went away.
And then one morning I woke up not in a funk.
The Funk of February. The Cranky of the Cranky. Gone. Whew.
Awesome.
And things have been moving. And ohmygosh.
My Very Personal Ad: answered.
I wrote a serious VPA on Monday.
And it looks like (knock on keyboard, please please please), that my wish helped me find the most amazing thing.
I mean, we don’t know if we’ll be able to have it. We don’t even know if we can afford it. Yet. But the kind of place that I want? Exists. And that is big.
Exists. Exists. Exists. Thank you.
Helper mice everywhere.
And some Fairy Godmothers too for my tiny newborn idea.
I have been getting tons of assistance with my Playground from Hiro and Pam and Carolyn and other lovely ladies.
Also, Pam said “Activate your network” and I was all, Huh?! Activate? What? What’s a network?
But then all these people showed up to help.
Every time I have a question, it just gets answered. Before I have time to flip about about how I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know.
It’s the most astonishing, wonderful thing ever.
SUPER POWER ACTIVATE!
The Shivanauts call.
Selma and I taught our once-in-awhile teleclass thing and there were so. many. people.
And smart! And fun! And I got to geek out on Shiva Nata for an hour and it was just the best.
It just managed to salvage all sorts of things.
Drunk Pirate Council!
I need to write a Metaphor Mouse post about how we came up with having Drunk Pirate Council instead of meetings.
But the short version? It makes everything about my life better. I actually look forward to the thing I used to dread.
And … playing live at the meme beach house!
Yes, that’s a Stuism too.
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week?
Pinkie Puncher
You gotta go see them. Well, not them. I mean, it’s just one guy.
And … STUISMS of the week.
Stu is my paranoid McCarthy-ist voice-to-text software who delights in torturing me misunderstanding me. I can’t stand him. And he’s under the weather bed on vacation so I don’t have any good Stuisms for you. I’m sorry!
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.
Follow
Oh, the chicken. Oh, the Friday. Hi Havi, thanks for having us! Again!
The hard
–The February when-will-this-freakin-winter-just-be-OVER-already crank is still cranky. Highly.
–I’ve been working on Stuff. And that makes me additionally Not Centered. And then my lovely, lovely wife did a not-so-lovely job of being there for me. Blerch.
–Work is having changes. Good changes. But I don’t LIIIIIIIKE change.
The good
–Writing, writing, writing.
–We got out of the house this week! The snow was beaten into submission enough that we could kinda have our regular lives.
–The wife and I had a good talk about the aforementioned Things Not Going As They Ought. I love my wife and her emotional skills.
–I’ve been photographing like a mad thing. Considering doing a 365 project. Considering.
–Dealing with Stuff will be good. One day.
Mwah to everyone chickening today.
.-= Julie´s last post … When did you know? =-.
Hurray – chicken!
The hard…
– Some challenging personal conversations not going as well as I had hoped.
– One of my customers laid off some people this week. 🙁
– Two deaths in a fire for some extended family members. Very sad.
The good…
– One hot buttered epiphany! Yay!
– Made some progress on some projects. So delicious.
– Realization that if twitter is making me laugh, it is not a complete productivity suck, because I need things during my day to make me smile, or I work more slowly. See – it is actually a boon to productivity!
Happy Friday!
.-= Avonelle Lovhaug´s last post … Project success tip: Provide a single point of contact =-.
Yay, chicken time!
The hard:
– Next to zero time for myself because of visit of friend’s teenage daughter. She’s leaving tomorrow.
– She has turned our guest room pretty much into a field of destruction.
– Had an email by the lady who had interviewed me for a job. In the mail she threw a shoe at me. Made her look so pathetic but it was still a shoe.
– Had no time to think or do sth. about job situation.
– Blocked ilio-sacral joint.
The good:
– French lessons with the girl were mostly going well and I think she had a few moments of bing concerning French grammar and is generally more motivated than before. And I think she has been enjoying her time.
– Husband kept me from replying to the shoe email and convinced me that I shouldn’t give a sh..
– An angel organized us free tickets for “Swan Lake” tonight.
I’m glad your foot is feeling better! And intrigued about the thing that exists. Intrigued…
So, chicken. Ugh, okay. Actually, all things considered, there’s not SO much hard.
Hard:
-We has the cold. Me and the Little Bird. Snot and ick.
-S. left yesterday morning so we’re on our own. Single-parenting is not easy, and I muchly admire the so many people who pull it off so well.
Good:
-Unlocking. I said it the other day, and it was like the universe heard me. Yesterday it got up in the 40s here and things got melty. This morning there were lots and lots of birds and the sun looks like springtime sun, not winter sun. It actually feels warm on your face when you stand in it. Even though it’s cold. Yay.
-Precious time and space to myself. Is it wrong of me to be glad S is on the road? I heart solitude. Even if it’s not really solitude because I have the Little Bird.
-I hired a person to help at work. It feels great a)to be able to offer someone a job right now and b)to know I won’t be doing everything on my own much longer.
-Amazing, incredible, supportive people.
-Fridays off! Four of them in a row!
-My life? It’s pretty grand, after all.
Happy weekend everyone!
.-= Emily´s last post … First Snakes, Now This? =-.
Oh, chicken time!
Havi, hooray for the departed crankies, and for ease flowing into your life! 🙂
Avonelle, I’m so sorry about the deaths by fire in your family.
Hard:
A health challenge that I won’t know more about until after some tests next week.
CommentLuv keeps showing the same old post instead of my current one, whenever I post a comment! 🙂
Good:
Putting systems in place for my business.
Found a new Right Person to transcribe the audio from my classes.
A tangible shift in flow and momentum, both in my personal energy and in my business.
An exciting collaboration with colleagues whom I like and admire–teaching a retreat in Costa Rica in May!
That’s it for now. Wishing you all a beautiful weekend, filled with ease and grace.
Love, Hiro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … You Are… =-.
I’d had a week full of relatively good until this morning.
Incredibly, incredibly hard: apparently I signed up for “green billing” for my gas bill, which means they email me notifications that my bill is ready instead of sending me paper. And apparently these have been landing in the spam folder instead of the inbox. And I would have looked for them, but when we moved in our landlord didn’t even know we HAD gas service, so he assured us it was all electric. And this morning, which is clear and beautiful and amazingly cold, I got home from dropping off my son at school to discover that the gas had been disconnected for nonpayment. A more-than-our-rent sum of money later, we’ll have heat again “sometime today”.
Also I wanted to be on the Shivanauts call but I’d mentally translated 3 PM Eastern to 3 PM Pacific and then I saw people on Twitter talking about how awesome the call was and realized my error, and oh well, next time.
On the other hand…
Holly’s business is doing really well. I’m about to finish a project that’s been nagging me for more than a month. I’m getting back into Dance of Shiva, and I have a new list of “goals” (see CommentLuv below) that are actually working. And my Coke, the first I’ve had in weeks, is completely delicious and reminds me of sitting by the sea in Greece.
And this week I’m feeling happier and more content than I have in months.
It’s not good all the way down, but sometimes it comes close.
.-= Chris Anthony´s last post … My new model for goal-setting =-.
THE HARD
* Frozen shoulder, restricted movement, pain.
* Much resistance to getting started on deadline-y things. Big scary things. All high-pri, all that should have been done last month, when I was curled into a fetal position. Am very much behind the 8-ball now.
* Getting more evidence that my teammates see me as someone to be worked around and that they are skeptical/wary of me (honestly, based on my recent bahaviors, can’t say I’d have acted differently).
* My sweetie is going on a weekend retreat. I mope when she’s away and feel a little vulnerable right now, given recent events.
* Not just tired when I go to bed–WEARY. My energy is turning in on itself and burning me up. Want to start outward-directing it and see if that changes things.
THE GOOD STUFF
* Knowing I’m surrounded by helpful people who love me and believe in me more than I love and believe in myself. Always amazed at how people (the *right* people) are concerned and want to help. Still can’t quite believe in it.
* The big mountain and little me image at the start of the semester…Checked in with it today, and the mountain is now a field of rubble, lots of large jagged heavy rocks that need clearing. Still much hard associated with all of this, but that’s a better image.
* To the orthopedist for a cortisone shot for the shoulder. I felt very calm, even-keeled, accepting, non-judgmental, patient–THIS is how I want to be WHEN THE HARD HITS.
* Found some advice from my first therapist 25 yrs ago: “Act as if the world is safe.” Tried that as an experiment on Thursday and it worked remarkably well.
* With sweetie gone, I have 3 days to myself where I can (I hope) focus myself on what needs to be done.
.-= Mike´s last post … Science is boring! =-.
It’s been a not-too-bad week…
The hard:
-Juggling a lot of moving parts and dropping several of them. One of them sort of broke. Cringe, embarrassment, etc. Not an epic disaster but still not fun.
-Only getting the new Stuff right in spurts and parts and wishing I could make a little more progress a little faster.
-Wasn’t able to be on the Shivanauts call in person. Sad.
The good:
-The Shivanauts call was recorded! Less sad. Looking forward to getting into this practice thing.
-Almost on a Very Personal Ad kind of note, though I didn’t intentionally create one… something that got taken from me may be coming back to me. Nothing’s certain yet but it could happen!
-At least I am getting Stuff right in spurts and parts. That’s still better than not at all!
-I’m working on a metaphorish thing to make the Stuff easier. It’s still a baby idea though.
-I had one triumph this week. I recognized a situation where I was consistently unhappy, realized that it was because I was setting the wrong expectations, changed those… and stopped being unhappy in that situation. Holy cow, it actually worked. And wasn’t hard. I boggle.
Happy Friday, and thanks for letting me join in on this thing. :o)
I don’t think I could be a Republican if I tried. A Prussian nobleman though? I never considered that. I wonder what that would be like.
The hard
– Neurontin. I started taking it a few weeks ago for my migraines (hmm…drug #40?), and it’s making me feel like a complete zombie. A total slug. I’m hoping my body adjusts to it soon so I can feel like my normal only-50%-slug self. Or you know, even have some energy. I’m about as familiar with that as with Prussian noblemanness. And maybe it could get rid of my migraines while it’s at it?
The good
+All of my stuff sold on ebay. It’s all paid for and all shipped out. And now I’m looking around my house wondering what else I can get rid of.
+I got to hold a lamb. Sweetest, friendliest lamb ever. I can’t even describe how nice it smelled. Oh, happiness is holding a lamb.
.-= Riin´s last post … New stuff =-.
ooh much love to all of you to heal the hard: the frozen shoulders, the ilio-sacral issues – believe, i was there once and it was vile, the emotional bleurgh, the February chill.
This week I have been practising the art of stepping away from my emotional crap-fest and just getting on with the job.
The Hard
This week has been very full, a lot of writing, thinking, negotiating, communicating. all focused on Brussels next week and my meeting about the project.
So the response is submitted, the paperwork printed, the passport found. next week is the moment of truth and even then they won’t give us an answer right there, we’ll have to wait for another of their letters…
This week, my wife has been off work, having a really well-deserved break. I have not been able to take any time off. This sucks enormously. I am owed a week of leave before the beginning of April. Now no hope of being able to take it.
You know what? this week has been hard-tastic.
The Good
I ran a training course this week, that was good. nice people, nice young people co-training with us. Also good to see mum and eat beef stew and dumplings.
am putting all energies into surviving the early part of next week.
have a good weekend all.
Lucy x
.-= Lucy´s last post … Doing Your Best Despite Adverse Conditions =-.
Hey Chickeneers of the High Seas!
@Chris – man, that sucks. Sorry.
@Avonelle – sorry to hear about your hard. Wow.
@Julie – oh it’s so reassuring when other people also know The Cranky. Thanks for the reminder.
All of you — kisses! I love the chicken. It makes things better. I don’t know how but it does.
The good and the hard were intertwined this week.
Good: I’m not sick any more.
Hard: But I’m still very tired.
Good: I got a lot of tutoring done this week.
Hard: But I didn’t get enough art done.
Good: I got accepted into a prestigious art show I didn’t think I’d get into.
Hard: It’s forcing me to up my game. Stressful!
Good: My sweetie believes in me and is excited for me.
Mostly it’s good.
.-= Barbara J Carter´s last post … The 2010 Los Angeles Art Show =-.
Oh, thank goodness for the Chicken!
Hard:
-Massive, massive sleep deprivation this week. Not sleeping well. Staggering through my days, which gets extra scary when I’m behind the wheel.
-Some ridiculous Valentine’s Day angst (mine). I felt like such an immature idiot, but couldn’t stop myself from feeling sad, just because neither of my partners nor my daughter gave me a Valentine card.
-A somewhat grim exchange of emails with my advisor. I have a lot of work ahead of me in the next few weeks, and I honestly don’t know what the outcome will be. Something has to shift, and I don’t know if I can make it happen in time. I’m not even completely sure I want to, but I have to try.
Good:
+One reason I feel so foolish about my Valentine angst is that I did receive many loving gestures from my family. (Just not cards.)
+A colleague offered me an intriguing new work opportunity — and in the process of offering, praised me to the skies. I’m certainly not immune to that!
+Fabulous, inspirational, Shivanautical teleclass, enjoyed from the comfort of my favorite chair, in my pretty, peaceful little studio.
Wishing everyone love and comfort for all the hard things!
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … Snowbound artist date =-.
Hooray for the chicken!
This week’s hard:
– My sweetie is working through some insane kind of hard, and I so very much want to wave my magic wand to make it all better, but the magic wand just doesn’t work on this kind of hard. Helplessness.
– I finally had some free time to spend in the studio on my own stuff, rather than orders, and … nothing. My inspiration has decided to take a vacation to a warmer climate, apparently.
This week’s good:
– My desk is clear for the first time in months. The only project I have in house doesn’t really have to be started until Tuesday, so I’m just pretending it doesn’t exist until then.
– I’ve made some progress on the seemingly neverending list of little things that have been nagging at me, and wow does that feel good to get some of that out of the way.
– The lack of inspiration at least made room for me to get started on the Great Studio Clearout and Reorganziation of 2010. It’s still not clean, but it’s getting there.
.-= Lori Paximadis´s last post … tidbits: avalanche edition =-.
Horray for finding a Playground here in Portland, I love it! I can’t say as I’m surprised you actually found something, though, as this town has such wonderful things in it. Soooo looking forward to seeing what this turns into!
The Shivanaut phone call was great, looking reading the answers to the other questions. 🙂
and….Chicken!
The hard that turned into good:
– Have been fighting with myself, inside myself, for a while now about maintaining the icky-nasty (but familiar!) employment status quo instead of striking off into the unknown to improve my icky situation. But the unknown (while good and exciting) is scary! So talk about all sorts of unconscious blocks that I didn’t realize were there until confronted…
But now I finally got fully fed up with the status quo and with some outside help and playing the Destuckification audio tracks in the background, I slogged through getting my resume spiffed up and sent in an application for a position/company I’m excited (but nervous – it’s new! and the lizard-brain keeps telling me I don’t know @#%#% and will fail, but really I do know a lot). And heard through my contacts at the company that the hiring manager thinks positively about my application, so here’s hoping this works out!
Also finally got around things and took another large step into getting my online business/website up and running, which was another thing I’d been getting a lot of subtle blocking on. Seems like things are starting to move here, which is good. So here’s for good changes!
I have to echo Lori on my big hard for this week.
– my boyfriend is also “working through some insane kind of hard” and being very self destructive in the process. last night got about as scary as it can get. I called his doctor this morning and I’m feeling bad about it even though I know it was a good thing to do. I feel like I have betrayed him in some way but I had to tell someone because if The Worst happens and I didn’t say anything I don’t know what I would do. UGH. I am having a difficult time finding my role in this.
-all this stuff that has been revealed with my boyfriend has really thrown me onto shaky ground. I am feeling foolish and like I can’t trust my judgement. I think I feel a bit betrayed somehow because the promise of all the good stuff was so real and felt so solid and like such a sure thing, but now it feels false. that hurts. bad.
the Good:
– feeling at peace knowing what I need to move forward with my ‘professional’ ‘earning-a-paycheck’ life. I need private space. I need to just start making art. The work I make will guide me to where I need to go next. period. I am loving the simplicity and clarity with this.
-met up with girl friends for happy hour and we talked for 3 and half hours and it was awesome and just what I needed. YAY friends!!
-in the middle of all this hard stuff with the boy, I am astonished to realize how much I have learned here, how I handle myself in the thick of sadness and chaos… Havi, I just can’t thank you enough for this place and this community and all the wisdom and insight you share. SOVEREIGNTY, kindness, patience, self-care, small steps…. so immensely helpful.
.-= carrie´s last post … Day: here we go again =-.
Ohhh maah gawd (said in my most southern voice evah) – It’s Friday. Finally.
The hard – well let’s just say this week the ego AND the esteem both got attacked by the little “I know you are but what am I” gremlins. And while the attack was underway my beeyatch showed up and yelled at both HR managers.
Not good. They keep me sane and here I was not allowing them to do their job. Sheesh.
So I was Terminated from one and Denied by another all in the same week. Actually all within the same 24 hour time period and well yeah.
So why couldn’t this week be a blur? Oh no. Not this one. Still even in the midst of all that hard…
The Good appears. Turns out Termination and Denial together form Determinationial…
which I think will be defined as external forces reinforcing the original plan by removing all possible procrastinational points or something like that.
Well that’s as far as the definition has gone but it’s getting there.
So Thanks Havi and all you other Chickeneers. Yo ho!
My heart grieves for the losses @Avonelle
Welcome, chicken! Haven’t joined in on one of these in a while, and I’ve been missing it.
My hard:
* Still with the headaches.
* The shop where I did my laser cutting and various other makey-things was evicted recently. That means no new making without spending lots of extra money I don’t really have, for at least a month. And I’m really worried that it’s going to take significantly longer than the month they’ve said before they have a new location.
* Putting off taxes because I feel a bit overwhelmed by the business tax stuff.
My good:
* Have a lead on a possible new doctor, and have started to track where & when the headaches happen to help diagnosis once I get that settled.
* Had friends visiting last weekend, then fun social things every night this week!
* Cooked more than I normally do this week – feels good to eat things that don’t come from a factory. Found a few food blogs that really inspire me, and am actively looking for more, so I think I may be able to keep this momentum going.
* Being a helper mouse – warm fuzziness abounds!
* New ideas that make me bouncy-excited
* Getting great feedback on my color-changing illuminated skirt.
.-= Shannon Henry´s last post … Bits and Bobs =-.
Oy with the poodles already. Just because.
@Avonelle, so sorry for your loss. My great-uncle died in a fire many years ago, he was the sweetest person you’d ever want to meet.
Hard:
Stiff neck. Still. Ow.
Cold. I am turning into a lizard here on the sofa, not wanting to move because I am so cold.
Not as much is getting done as needs to; see “lizard”.
Being twitter stalked by someone who works with my daughter. If you don’t want to be my friend (or hers) IRL, why do you need to know what is going on in our lives?
Good:
Snow dyeing, which made some wonderful odd-colored fabrics because I used the black from Casey and the turquoise and yucca I had in my stash to make some neat yardage.
Netflix, which delivered a wonderful Shiva Rea DVD, so I can expand my yoga beyond the basic Lilias DVD I’ve been using.
The yoga is helping with the stiff neck and the cold. It warms me up and for the time I’m moving through the practice and for a while afterward I am warm and less sore. I wish I could do it all day.
The wonderful Shivanaut call, though I had to hang up early because the battery was dying on our ancient phone.
Hockey has been canceled, so I can sleep in tomorrow. Bliss 🙂
Happy Friday, y’all!
.-= Andi´s last post … For Aisha =-.
This week the hard and the good have been entertwined this week. There have been realisations a plenty, and for once, instead of hiding inside a glass of wine, I’ve actually done something about it. I’ve managed to resign for the charity I was working with, despite the feeling that O my god this makes me the worst person in the world, and I’m actually not feeling guilty. Ok, maybe a tiny bit, but I’m not feeling guilty about feeling guilty. See what I mean.
I’ve finally realised that asking for help does not make me a complete faliure as an individual.
Interesting times indeed.
.-= Jane´s last post … Hiatus =-.
Hello people!!!
Hiiiii!
The Hard
Patterns coming up with people that I love. Very painful.
A week with every kind of emotional grim and where I guess I got acquinted with that pattern about whether or not I can really manage life. Hard shit.
Another interview. Somewhere that seemed nice. Down to last two. Didn’t get the gig. It’s ok but I needed the money.
Huge angst around money. Anxiety. Fear about how to carry on. Big yucky emotions that were totally overwhelming at the time.
Couldnt sleep at all last night.
The Good
Temped somewhere nice today. That’s always good and reassuring.
Even though the work is totally scarce people do always want me back when I temp. Again – reassuring.
I made up with my loved one. We practised some good communication stuff – whatever happens that’s good.
Did tons of tapping this week with every shaky moment. Even if it was a little more temporary than would have liked – it was pretty bloody good. It gave me hope that I can find a way with these tools.
I heard from an amazing woman who does body energy work and we are dreaming into working together – see if I can shift trauma out of my body so that it stops repeating on me. Yay yay yay.
I turned the music up loud, Danced a lot.
More thoughts about how I would like a biz which is NOT about reflecting on stuckness or my past. I feel a bit over the depth thing really.
Realising that I would love to create work which is much more light, joy, goofy, child like. Ideas floating around about this.
Reading about Havi’s adventure playground got me thinking as did talks on TED about the need for play throughout our life time.
Oddly enough when Im not in angst Im the goofiest person I know. I want a creative biz with lots of goofing.
Am due to have a chat with a connector mouse tomorrow about creating an audio link for my blog searching for a good enough job – brilliant!
Hi all, I’m new to this destuckification thing, but so totally inspired! I’ve been reading silently for a week or so, but taking part in the Chicken might just be the place to start…here goes…will try to get the imagery right.
HARD:
*encountered major obstacle to progress on my Thing this week, not insurmountable, but big enough to cause a significant delay
*FEAR is still ruling me, but see below for progress, that is how I got here.
*discovered that ignoring financial problems rarely makes them disappear…made some hard choices and will probably have to admit some mistakes and ask for help in some places I don’t want to.
GOOD:
*found this site and read and read and went to some of the others’ sites and read some more and felt some peace and perhaps a little belonging (wish I lived in Portland)
*renamed the folder on my desktop that houses my Thing. It was called snarling beast…it is now called fuzzy bunnies.
*got to the short-list on a job I really want, won’t know until March/April but at least I am a contender
*had a little burst of destuckification where I confessed to my advisor about all my struggling and he didn’t give up on me despite my confession
That is a good start…very cathartic!
oooo and a gradual life changing shift brought on by the hard!
Can’t quite put it into words yet. Somehow a sense of my own connection with the divine. (Eeyuck. Sounds funny that.) A sense that I am whole in spite of wobbly moments. Thanks really to Hiro’s whose words really resonate hugely.
Despite my Olympics fervor, I’ve managed to get quite a few things done this week which is good. Experiencing a bit of the less time -> more productive phenomenon.
Nothing much seems legitimately hard after a week of watching Olympic athletes recover from horrible crashes (recent or otherwise) to go on to compete. Except maybe knowing that I don’t have that same drive to excel despite all costs. That, in turn, leads to the niggling doubts that I’m approaching my photo store Thing completely wrongly.
Better to mush ahead and course correct on the way, I tell myself, than to remain inert. As long as I avoid errant patches of grass.
.-= claire´s last post … Night snow =-.
I haven’t chicken-ed in weeks. Because the weeks have been more hard than good. But luckily I have some lovely KT peeps who have been sending me the love and the virtual hugs and just listening to me bitch. So. Awesome.
All right:
The hard:
– crazy neighbor has our collective nerves jangled
– Dave’s mom dying sooner versus later
– best friend’s wife left him abruptly without any change in behavior – just woke up on Saturday, snuggled with him, then announced she was divorcing him. That fast.
– Other friend & wife have decided to end their marriage. Civilized but sad anyway.
The good (at least there’s SOME, finally):
+ started looking at new places to live
+ got restraining order (of sorts) against crazy man
+ got a feather bed – soooo comfy
+ working on a short-term, high-intensity project that allows me to bury my head and not think about all the personal hard
Happy weekend everyone!
.-= casey´s last post … Cory’s stories – part 1 =-.
DunDraCon rocked, but it’s been a very quiet work week — mostly Teleseminars and meetings. Still, meetings lead to paying work, so yay!
The Hard
– Too much Out, not enough In. I need to give myself some nice hiding-out time next week, if I can.
– Check hold hell made the early part of the week very annoying.
– Gloomy creepy zombie fog weather.
– Cat barf.
– Sleep dep due to snorypants con roomie who was otherwise awesome.
– Too many teleclasses. Brain full now.
The Good
+ Gaming con awesomeness!
+ I allowed myself to be convinced to dress up and enjoyed basking in the positive attention. I’d rather forgotten what that felt like!
+ Checks un-held and bank accounts with moneys in them huzzah!
+ Kittehs have forgiven me for leaving them without their human slave for two whole days. Bella has resumed her usual spot as purrito, squished in next to me on the chair.
+ Deciding that I will save up for next year’s con so I can stay in the hotel at my leisure all alone.
+ Delicious random drinks at con, including getting to try a Long Beach (no sour mix, whee!) and the Single-Barrel Jack Daniels. Yum yum.
+ Teleclasses were awesome despite being overly numerous. Bits of info are filtering out usefully as my brain processes them.
+ New clients and old clients wanting new work and good meetings and yay.
+ Friends good. Gaming tonight.
+ Sushi twice this week, and mmboba. All is, in fact, generally well. So double yay.
.-= Amy Crook´s last post … Just What Change Do I Want to See? =-.
Boy howdy. Lesse here….
The Hard
– sister WIG OUT. Big emotional dump and all my efforts at talking her down ended up swirling down a black hole of wasted energy. Didn’t help her, exhausted myself, and ended up in a big craptastic downer mood as a result. yugh. Resolving not to do that ever again. No one wins.
– Very tired. See above.
-Forgot a fun event and double booked with a ‘sister day’ tomorrow. Chose my sister out of a sense of obligation. Even though my friends are a lot healthier for me and really a better choice. Big sigh.
– I know people who have sisters they are friends with, and I keep hoping our relationship will go there. But she’s not changing her tendencies towards using people. I don’t think we will have that relationship. This is an old old pattern.
The Good.
+Sunday started off with the superbowl (don’t really care, but hey, leftovers from the Creme Brulee party with 7 brilliant women, 36 various creme brulees, and various wines, cheeses, and other fabulousnessess)
ooh. I lied. That was 2 weeks ago. but still, so good and fun, worth mentioning.
+ Loft party anti-valentines. Fun, good people. good times.
+I have many good friends who are like sisters to me, uplifting and encouraging each other.
Man. I know there is more, but I feel so whalloped.
I.
Oh, you’ve already found a place in which your playground could come to life? Wow! That’s fabulous! Yay! Yay also for the cranky being over, the help flowing to you, and all the good stuff – you’ve had your share of hard this week, but so much good too! Yay!
Clearly, I’m in a “yay!” mode, and I’ve been ever since the good stuff in my week started pouring out… There has been some hard, sure, but I’m going with a one-sided chicken this week, because wow!
– I’ve experienced a huge Shiva Nata induced epiphany, in the form of a very very positive insight related to a big stuckness of mine
– I’ve blogged about said epiphany, and writing a blog post was in itself a huge “yay!”
– I was really touched – and floored – by all the wonderful comments I’ve received on that post
– My gentleman friend and I had a lovely time celebrating his birthday
– A place for your playground exists! That makes me so happy, it has to go on my list!
That was a fabulous week to fill up on the good stuff!
.-= Josiane´s last post … A (huge!) shift in perspective =-.
The hard:
– It’s still February.
– I couldn’t get tickets for a show I wanted to see, so I’m at home right now instead of on my way to Sendai.
– Money is absurdly tight this month.
– Had a week at my least favorite school (henceforth referred to as “Shoe Central”) with a whole lot of shoes being thrown. Not loving the job right now.
– One of my beloved elementary schools canceled their last class with me (because of a scheduling conflict), so I won’t get to have class there again until next year.
– I’m really getting tired of people laughing at my accent/looking at me weird because I’m foreign/etc, but it’s not going to stop any time soon.
– Generally not getting enough love.
The good:
+ The days are getting longer!
+ THE OLYMPICS. That is all.
+ I found a yoga studio that I love. It’s an hour and a half or so from home, but it’s totally worth it.
+ Finally set a date to hang out with a good friend and speak some English.
+ My fantastic supervisor obliged one of my requests and totally saved the week for me.
+ Found out that I have more personal days left than I’d thought, and that the days I was sick are actually coming out of sick leave. This is fantastic news.
+ Got some happy mail from Inspired Home Office 😀 Jennifer is wonderful.
Chick’m!
@Avonelle – sorry to hear about that. That is really sad.
My week seems uneventful in comparison to some of these, but here we go…
The Hard:
-lack of clarity..seems to be a recurring theme. The less work I have, the more overwhelmed I get with all the things I could be doing in that “down time”
The Good:
– Perogie night. Plum perogies. Tops anything else I could put on this list.
– week 2 of a personal experiment – building the habit of running every day in very tiny baby steps. It’s working!
Happy Chick’m to all, and I hope next week is much better for those who had so much hard stuff.
xo
Christine
.-= Christine Bougie´s last post … Fortress Of Solitude =-.
Chick’m chick’m chick’m.
Yes, hello, I still exist.
I am aspiring to get to the Chicken but keep missing it.
So, this is my tiny step towards actually getting here with some chickening to do.
Maybe next one…
But, hey everyone!
.-= Andrew Lightheart´s last post … If the world is provisional, certainty is insanity =-.
Ooh! If you become an Austrian nobleman, you can commission a symphony in C!
It will defy all earthly descriptions.
And it will have victorious young triads.
Your baby could play with the young triads–they could all hopscotch together. 🙂
(Except the triads tend to always win. Victorious an’ all.)
.-= Blue´s last post … Mad Men 2.3: The Benefactor =-.
@Avonelle: so sorry to hear that. so very sorry.
@Havi: Oh! Oh! Oh! I am so excited to hear that your Playground exists! I had to comment just to tell you that. Except now I totally want a monocle.
Hard:
A post that I am trying to write does not want to be written. I keep starting and stopping because it’s giving me crying headaches and easy-to-interpret dreams and a sickly tummy when I try to finish it. Ugh. I am less concerned about the post than I am about the fact that the writing about it is bothering me this much.
Minus the sickly tummy, today was such a good day that I’ve totally forgotten the rest of my Hard.
Good:
I got to spend time with two friends from two different retreats. So lovely to connect again.
I published my About Me page. Clearly there has been massive unsticking. Also, I published it even though it was long, seeing it as a work in progress instead of waiting until it was “perfect”. More unsticking.
Experimenting with behavior and rewarding myself.
Regular Shiva Nata practice is doing good things to body and brain and balance.
And really, I am just so excited about the existance of a Havi and Selma playground!
.-= Elizabeth´s last post … sir atlas =-.
@Havi – fingers crossed on the Playground.
The Hard:
Fake Spring brings big time hay fever. Sneeze 200 times and almost throw up allergy attack.
Feeling like death barely warmed over because of said allergies.
Short weeks don’t mean less work. I feel like I’ll never learn this lesson. Always tired and cranky during short weeks. This one, no different.
Traffic = crap. Hate it.
The Good:
Steam, sauna, whirlpool spa action at a really fancy gym in town where a friend was generous enough to bring me on Monday holiday in the middle of the day. Can you say our own private spa?
Most favorite Teacher came to yoga class and gave big thumbs up and excellent tips for improvement. Such a relief!
Saw Crazy Heart and LOVED it.
Acro-yoga. Flying is so much fun!
Leslie and the Badgers Roomful of Smoke. LOVE.
.-= Tami´s last post … Yoga+Music365 (day49) – A.M. by Wilco – Fake Spring Edition =-.
Well, Friday still has about 90 minutes left in my time zone!
Whew, survived another week.
The hard:
– Deadlines for several projects are rapidly closing in on me and I’m running out of time
– A flu outbreak at the retirement community where I work took down a lot of residents. Some very, very slow days.
– It is still cold here in the Midwest. Sick of it.
– My former program director still thinks he can be friends. NO. TOO MUCH PAIN. NO. JUST GO AWAY, please.
The good:
+ My retroactive pay raise appeared in my paycheck.
+ I am officially done with 25% of the coursework for my doctoral program
+ The sun has been out the past few days and the temps have gotten above freezing!
+ The last of the students from the class of 2009 has finally passed his exit exams. Took 3 tries.
Happy weekend, everyone!
Firstly: thanks Havi for your last post on baby things = right words at the right time.
Hard:
– physical challenges
– guest from somewhere cheap
– discontent in the house
– inability to get things done
– the humidity and heat ( I’m in the other hemishere)
– got the shingles
Good:
+ humidity left on Friday
+ great new clients
+ guest left
+ great session with mentor
+ discontent in house eased (about the same time as the humidity!)
+ partner learned how to ease some of my physical pain
I have my own Stuism (from my own Stu) I have to share:
“a cow being genuinely slothful”
Rather than
“It’s about being genuine at the deepest level”
Thanks Stu 😉
and thanks Havi for naming him.
.-= Andy Dolph´s last post … Harry Potter The Exhibition – My Review =-.
And once again I’m chickening in on Saturday because Friday …, well that’s part of the hard.
The Hard
-Monday / mid-Feb gloom and doom. What a wasted day off.
-Forgetting last week that Monday was a holiday, then not planning to move my Monday work to Tuesday and so on, and then trying to get all my Monday and Tuesday work done on the same day. And failing. And never catching up so I get to work this weekend. Which I hate to do.
-The overwhelm continues at work. O V E R W H E L M
-The monsters of second-guessing and who-do-I-think-I-am-ness who kept me awake for 2 nights
-Dr. R.C. who I’m certain is one of my angels, but is a huge pain in my ass. He threw whole wardrobes of shoes at me.
-Friday. Enough said.
-missing my daughter when she was with her dad all week
The Good
+Olympics! Shaun White! The competition in men’s figure skating!
+The anxiety was unfounded, and the thing I was worried about turned into a good thing with my new boss showing he trusts my opinion even if I feel like I’m overstepping my authority by giving it. Which I’m working on letting go of.
+Getting back with may salsa dancing peeps for rehearsal. I missed them.
+Performance tonight.
+Big deep shiva nata + PSYCH-K epiphanies about the anger around being silenced in my life and connection with hatred of being submerged in water.
+The shivanauts call, especially Havi’s answer to my question re: getting the monsters to STFU
+Finding the ultimately adorable and perfect Monster Journal on etsy
+My husband “made” dinner on Thursday (takeout counts!)
+My daughter’s with me for a whole week!
.-= lynn @ human, being´s last post … Hiding in plain sight =-.
Hooray for your cranky departing, Havi.
The Hard
Seeing my grandad, who is rapidly sliding into dementia. The last time I saw him, he was a little forgetful but basically still himself. Now he’s a tearful shell of his former self & it was a real shock, even though I’d been warned.
Our chicken Pepper being taken by a fox.
The flight back from Edinburgh being delayed when I was already tired & cranky & desperate to get home.
The Good
Being proud of my teenager for dealing so well with seeing his beloved great grandad like that.
Getting on better than usual with my parents.
Seeing an amazing exhibition in Edinburgh.
Coming home to my honey after 6 days away.
Not having to cook once all week.
Not compulsively snacking whilst at my parents, which is something I usually do to deal with the anxiety of being there.
Catching up on my sleep.
Getting a new chicken called Colette.
.-= Kirsty Hall´s last post … Quick Update =-.
Hola, chickens and chickenettes!
Can’t wait for more goods and yays on the Playground. Ask and ye shall receive!
The hards:
Accidentally clipped Mom’s dog’s claw too short. *winces* Felt guilty for hours. Feel guilty about not really wanting to take care of a dog who is not mine and not very nice. Pretty sure she knows I don’t like her the best.
More guilt about not going to see Mom this week.
Snow, snow and snow. It’s pretty but I am close to being fed up with winter.
Still no couch removal. Rahr!
Cold and aches early in the week.
The goods:
Great shrink session on Monday.
Great Shiva Nata class on Toozday.
Great craft show class with Blonde Chicken on Wednesday.
Excellent Ash Wednesday service and sang through the gunk which is now gone..
Ongoing yoga habit taking shape. Feel pretty good and bendy and my butt is getting tighter!
Got two domain names for my new websites that I will be getting for my birthday! WOOT.
Today is my birthday and me and DH went shopping. Got lots of pink sparkly good smelling things! Yay Me! Lots of Facebook and Twitter birthday wishes.
The biggest good is my biggest gift to myself EVER: a blog at posterous and sovereignty over it! WOOT plus YAY!
Au revoir, mes coqs.
.-= chicsinger simone´s last post … happy blogday! =-.
Oh yeah two more goods:
The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense practically jumped out of a box in the attic at me. I knew I had it just didn’t know where it was in the dozens of possible book boxes up there.
As I read it I realized I have very little call for that kind of verbiage; my sweetie is so nice and nobody in my life gives me too much grief anymore! Yay! And now if they do I have the tools to deal with it, double yay.
.-= chicsinger simone´s last post … happy blogday! =-.
The good: new puppy! (Well: she’s 11 months old, so not full-on *puppy*, but still definitely not all the way grown up yet 🙂 ). Watching her start to settle in & relax (she’s from a rescue) is joyful. And then, she’s a lurcher cross of some sort, so watching the absolute glee she takes in just *running*, when I was able to let her off-lead in the park, is so amazing.
More good: sold an article, which is positive in light of recent redundancy from PT job, b/c now I will be able to pay the bills for another month… And sent out more ideas. And did some of the other-sort-of-writing, despite massive distraction of keeping 1.5 eyeballs on the puppy at all times, so yay me 🙂
More more good: went climbing yesterday & climbed a route a grade above where I’m at with only 1.5 cheats 🙂
Bad: inevitable puppy-output-related accidents indoors; equally inevitable lack of sleep while we lie awake thinking “what is she DOING but I cannot go check because it’ll just get her more wound up”; hip playing up bigtime and thus keeping me awake even more (but hey, I am getting physio, and am about to be referred to a hip specialist, and really, I am daily grateful for the NHS).
So overall pretty good, really. And typing this up is helping shake me out of Sunday-morning blues (due largely I suspect to the tired), so, yay.
.-= Juliet´s last post … Puppy update! =-.
Hi
you have an amazing group of people on this journey with you, fantastic!
I have just found you and get your glimmers of odd bliss in my email now.
Wanted to say I am so happy to have found you and have been nourishing a new born of my own for some months now looking forward to a blog launch in 5weeks…eeeeee *very high pitched squeal of fear and/or excitement*
This is to say Thank You I will continue to follow your blog and know this is possible even when cranky (been very cranky my own self this month)
Hard: Crankiness and Naysayers
Good: Telling Naysayers leave me alone, I’m doing it anyway and relieving my crankiness
For you this Sunday I wish you love and light and far less crankiness.
-Meg
1. It is not even nearly Friday.
2. I don’t care. I’m having a Friday anyway. It’s a continuity thing. Shut up.
So, last week was hard because…
OMG so much stuff to do, not doing any of the stuff. Gah! Some high drama in my online social circle made it far too easy to get distracted from what I should be doing: colouring some drawings. Drawings people paid for. That should have been done by now.
Hey, Willie, stop beating up on yourself with your fists! Have a hammer, it’ll be more effective!
Kind of bailed out and hid my head under the blankets on a thing I was doing with a friend and left her to do most of it. :/ More beating on self ensued.
There was also good last week though because…
I got a headset. Which marks not only a real step towards me realising my Potentially Rather Good Idea, it marks a moment where I went: “Yes, recording my own voice and listening to it is awkward and horrid and cringy and scary, but I’m going to do it anyway, because I want to. And I’ll practice and get used to it and then get good at it and then everything will be great.”
I’m moving the limits on what I can do. Awesome stuff.
The Dance of Shiva teleclass sparked lots of ideas and new ways of thinking about stuff and confirmed a bunch of other stuff I had been thinking and generally made me feel good. Too hyper to go to sleep which wasn’t good because I stayed up past my bedtime, but never mind that. Worth it.