Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Almost two years of chickens, people.
Behold the ridiculous staying power of the chicken.
I still don’t get it but yay. Three cheers for all the Chickeneers of the High Seas, far and wide, including those who just do it in their heads.
Let’s do it!
The hard stuff
Running into all my sovereignty issues again.
Sovereignty, as you know, is the spiritual quality of not giving a shit. Of being at home in your body and your life. Of knowing that you are only responsible for your stuff, not for anyone else’s.
I’m working on it pretty much all the time. Adjusting that invisible crown.
So I was really, really ready to practice this at the airport.
Wearing my badass sovereignty boots. Straightening the crown. Staying grounded.
But no. Still got pulled out of line by every petty little tyrant in Canada.
Who unpacked my bags and threw my underwear all over the counter. Asked me ridiculous and insulting snappy questions. Threatened to lock up my gentleman friend because he “looked annoyed”.
Yes, that’s a quote. It was lovely. More to work on.
Going back to work stuff and being slammed.
Not a whole lot to say about that other than aaaaaaaaagh.
And then my morning yoga practice disappeared again.
Possibly related to the above.
Yes.
Writer’s block.
Oof.
General discouragement.
As you know.
And worrying about the lease.
Angstiness.
Everything. Gets. On. My. Nerves.
Even things I used to really like.
Bah humbug, etc.
Luckily though, there was lots of good stuff too.
The good stuff
Getting to spend five days with Hiro.
It was so beautiful and so amazing.
We got huge amounts of work done. She worked magic on me. And I talked her into teaching a class on Internet hangover (awesome).
Watching someone who lives the way I want to live. With slow deliberation. And fun.
Someone who can put herself to bed at 8:30 if she’s tired.
It’s good for me to see that.
Baths!
Hiro got me hooked on baths again.
Oh the joy.
I’m turning relaxation into an extreme sport again.
Stomping around in my sovereignty boots.
Stomping!
Not just for being annoyed anymore.
Soup.
Ohmygod. Soup at Saraveza so good that I kind of want to marry it.
Broccoli soup with cheddar. Ayiiiiii. So. Much. Good.
Finally!
I redid the lame “greatest hits” section on the sidebar after threatening to do it months ago and then forgetting about it. Months.
Yes, that was December.
So if you haven’t been on the site in a while and you’re reading this in a blog reader or email of whatever, worth a click-through.
I have actual relevant posts in the sidebar instead of stuff from two years ago!
Excellent.
Client sessions.
Too much fun.
Had a crazy number of clients this week because of vacation ketchup. But they’re all so smart and kooky and wonderful.
Worked some small miracles. And there was much giggling and play.
Love.
Naps.
Still happening.
Still brilliant.
Being wrong. Oh how I love being wrong when wrong is what is right.
I had a minor freakout about not hearing back about the lease for The Playground.
Went into a hundred different stories until I remembered the thing about the WEAR + TEAR and how we’re always wrong about everything.
And was delighted to find out shortly thereafter that yes, I was blissfully wrong.
They’d been on vacation for a week. And are negotiating. And it will be good.
Whew.
Stuff I was reading and pondering this week.
Loved this piece from Maryann on her imaginary purple-haired speed-demon assistant Tina.
She (Maryann, not Tina) is also doing a super affordable webinar on finding your online voice. She’s smart and insightful. Very relevant for all of us who dislike the M-word.
Kelly did another hysterical video with her monster assistant Aaaaaagw on the case of the serial comma.
And Cairene is doing Bite The Candy again and I’m determined not to miss it.
And … playing live at the meme beach house!
Yes, that’s a Stuism too.
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week I’m proud to introduce you to the uhhhh … timeless stylings of:
Beanbag Timewarp and the Jamtastics.
Yep. It’s just one guy.
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.
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I think I missed the chicken last week. Wow. That seems odd. I knew something was missing from my life.
Stomping is awesome isn’t it? The Little Bird has taught me all of its delights. Also, if you’d like to have some fun, can I recommend animal dancing? Make yourself up some flashcards with animals on them, put on some funky music, and then you have to dance like whichever animal you get. Good bad mood cure. It’s hard to feel angry when you’re doing the monkey.
Soooo, chicken.
Hard:
-Plumbing problems. Actual plumbing, not biological. Costly. Money I didn’t have. Etc. Water in basement. And so on.
-Angry at both of my bosses. Not knowing how to express that anger in a healthy way.
-Not doing the self-care. Not doing the journal. Not doing. Neglect monsters are having a field day, pointing at me and laughing and saying, “See? You’ll never get it! Never!”
-Another cold? Really? Do we have to do this again?
Good:
-It’s nice to take a shower and not be standing shin-deep in water by the end of it. AND the plumber actually CLEANED the tub when he was done. And I mean spotless. And shop-vac’ed the water out of the basement. Best plumber ever.
-Listening to Quadrophenia all week long in the car. It’s good for angry singing, although…it does tend to make me a little light-headed…which maybe isn’t so good for the driving.
-Learning a couple of new tunes on the piano. Things coming easily when not expected.
-Listing the neglect, acknowledging the hurt, taking tiny steps to reverse course.
.-= Emily´s last post … Shadow Surveillant =-.
Hard-
Wondering where all my people are.
Also, I have a cat client that’s missing, and stuck in a root cellar and their owners can’t find the root cellar. This is why, as an intuitive animal communicator, I don’t like to take lost pet cases. I really want that cat to get home and I am absolutely helpless to get him there. His name is Eddie. He’s a tabby.
Good-
I helped so many people this week! There were a few really good a-has for my people clients.
I got to hear God ask one of my clients “What do you want?” and that brought me a greater understanding of co-creation. Ah, I love my woo-woo job.
So, I feel aligned with my destiny, but also an urgency to get the party started.
.-= Bridget´s last post … The 5th Marker of Destiny- You Feel Desperately Sad When You’re Not In It =-.
Sorry for all the hard this week but so, so happy for the good.
Much love sent from Kailand. xo <3
This week in Kailand~
The Hard:
~Forgetting who is in charge of Kailand. (Sovereignty issues here, too.)
~Recognizing that I really am sensitive and that maybe that's okay.
~Having to jump through numerous hoops just to keep my income. Still not done jumping, but awful close.
~Being tired and exhausted and still trying to make sense.
~Forgetting what was important.
~Communicating with my body. Not something I'm used to.
The Good:
~Making it through the Great Migration all in one piece. And actually have fun with it. Whee!
~Falling in love with our new Nest which I have named Tree Trunks.
~Watching lots of things fall into place even when other things weren't.
~Feeling supported while hoop-jumping.
~Realizing how awesome it is when I respect my sensitivity and am gentle with myself.
~Calming techniques and lots of Magical Girl Transformation Action.
Ahoy fellow Chickeneers! This chicken had a pretty darn good week this week.
A little hard
– Insomnia. Oof.
Lotsa good
+ Finally! Grabbed my nephew and took him to a wilderness park where he could climb and run and splash and be a little boy outdoors. He doesn’t get to do that much, normally.
+ Mead-tasting. Mmmm…
+ Got the best possible news from my second-opinion doctor, who is now my first-opinion doctor. Ha!
+ A new experimental direction for my art. Not sure if it’ll work out, but it’s exciting to try.
.-= Barbara J Carter´s last post … Beverly Hills art show: it’s no joke! =-.
It’s illegal to look annoyed? Uh oh. I’m in trouble.
The hard.
– Migraines. Blah blah blah. Monsters gnawing on my head. Grumble.
The good.
+ Starting next month I go to half time at the day job and have more time to do Happy Fuzzy Yarn. It can’t come soon enough.
+ I’m going to an acupuncturist tomorrow afternoon. Maybe sharp pointy things will scare the monsters away. Or at least make them feel better so they stop chewing on my brain.
.-= Riin´s last post … Marbles =-.
O Canada, what were you thinking, harassing Havi and threatening to lock her (oh-so-gentle) Gentleman Friend up for Looking Annoyed! Oy!
For me, this week has been all good.
The Best Bit: Havi, Selma and Gentleman Friend visiting. Lovely to have time to hang out together. Play. Work. Create. Eat good food. Nap. Talk. Share life together. So happy! 🙂
Powerful sessions with clients. Huge shifts and transformation happening for so many of them right now. Plus giggles and fun.
Taught my next-to-last class of the Become Your Own Business Adviser program. Feeling such gratitude for these amazing women, their grace, strength, courage, beauty. Their big, powerful, creative hearts.
Spring! Wild winds. Luscious cherry blossoms. Sun. Warmth. Otters. Eagles. Glistening sea.
Internet Hangover class launched! Havi’s brain-child. 🙂 ‘Nuff said.
Wishing you all hugs for the hard this week, and celebrating the good with you.
Love, Hiro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Playful Discovery: The Cure for Internet Hangover =-.
Three cheers for sovereignty boots! Oh, and soup — I love me some good soup. (Mind you, sometimes I like so many noodles and things in it, people try to tell me it’s more stew than soup — but if I say it’s soup, it’s soup! Sovereignty soup!)
Hard:
–Trying to come up with a good dissertation topic, and to get an advisor on board, before next Wednesday. Being good and diligent, and doing it right, and feeling that I’m still not making enough progress. Then getting angry and rebellious because being a Good Girl isn’t working, and so beginning to find excuses to not get around to the work, one day, two days, and no no no must nip this in the bud! (Nip this in the bud? What does that even mean? Sounds painful, and makes me think of killing off flowers — definitely a job for Metaphor Mouse.)
–Anxious about the oral defense for my preliminary exam that’s coming up next Wednesday. Very afraid that I will be completely tongue-tied and fighting tears the entire time. Oh, and when I fight tears, the tears usually win.
Good:
–Oodles of quality time with my daughter. Feeling like a very cool mom!
–I led some music therapy sessions in which things went very well, and even in the few sessions where things didn’t go so well, I found myself remarkably centered and calm, which really helped.
–Stumbled across an old gift card (used, but still worth seven dollars) for a local coffee and pastry shop. Yay! I get to treat myself tomorrow morning!
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … Liberation =-.
Yay chicken! Is it really Friday again?
Hard:
-The find-housing need ate my week. Working on it…
Good:
-A friend and I went on a flower walk yesterday. Much picture taking and general silliness. It was wonderful.
-Despite my unhappiness about the week-eating, everyone I’ve dealt with on the housing hunt so far has been nice to me. I’m really grateful for that.
-Babies! (Actual small-child type ones.) Not mine, but I have a brand new little “niece” (and a now month-old “nephew”) to spoil rotten. I love it when my friends have kids. So excited!
-It is a gorgeous spring morning. And the tree outside my window has finally bloomed. Even prettier than I thought it would be. Happiness.
Happy Friday!
Been off the Chicken for a bit. No idea why.
The Good and Hard, as always, tied up in the same stuff.
But first: *shaking fist at Canada*
Okay, where were we? Oh yeah, ya know that phrase, “Be careful what you ask for..?” Yeah, well, don’t ever take that lightly.
Nothing like having boundaries challenged, losing your center only to find how important that is, and then given the nod that God is definitely on your side, but are you really ready for what that means?
’nuff said about that.
Regarding names, after a little rant on Facebook about the unnatural weirdness of turkey bacon, one friend suggested it actually be called something like “Sizzleturk”.
But, you know, it’s just one guy…
.-= Gina´s last post … Dear Jessica… =-.
Much sympathy on the airport thing – still haven’t recovered from the whole ‘is this a bra or a bomb’ incident in Dusseldorf airport. I’ve been enjoying the new post sidebar too. 🙂
The hard:
– the ill. still. and this bring up the whole ‘how could you be this lazy you need to be working right now’ monster. and the ‘how could you take time off work’ monster. they’re cousins.
– the deadlines. the realising that my common sense and everyone else’s common sense are totally not aligned, so I was even further behind that I already thought, and had actually missed the first deadline. And discovering this when I was feeling slightly smug about just getting everything done.
– the realisation of patterns, hidden feelings and the acknowledging. ouch.
The good:
– going to the London Book Fair on Tuesday, and meeting lots of wonderful people from my course. Remembering there is a whole world out there.
– realisation of patterns and hidden feeling and acknowledging them and realising that there is transformation just in the acknowledging.
– there seems to a possibility that spring is here. at last. thank god!
– my cousin getting home safely from cuba, despite the whole volcanic ash rara.
Yay for Extreme Relaxation. Yay for the kickass sidebar (fabulous!). Boo to airport douche-baggery. I still can’t believe they don’t know who you are!
.-= Danielle´s last post … Earth Day 2010: taking stock and setting goals. =-.
Petty tyrants. Never any fun at all.
This week’s hard:
– Big avoidance of something I can’t avoid, really. Just trying to suck up the determination to deal with it, but knowing how it’s going to put me in a foul, foul mood is making me do the avoidance dance. I’ve made an appointment with myself to deal with it on Monday. (Just call me Scarlett: “I’ll think about that tomorrow.”)
– My motivation apparently took off for vacation between Monday evening and Tuesday morning and didn’t clear it with me first. I don’t know where it went or when it’s due back, but it’s been a hard slog through a lot of to-do items without it this week.
This week’s good:
– We thought we were going to have to buy a whole new stove, but it ends up we can nurse the one we have along for a little while longer with $50 worth of parts and free labor from a relative. It still won’t be perfect (they don’t make one of the minor parts we need anymore), but we don’t have to spend $700 on a whole new stove before we’re ready to tackle the kitchen remodel for reals.
– A change is coming with one of the places I teach that will mean some new teaching opportunities for me. I’ve been swimming in ideas, and I’m thrilled that I’ll be able to reassert my sovereignty over the way I teach my classes.
– I’ve been able to spend at least a half-hour every day this week out in the gardens. All this early preventative maintenance is paying off with fewer weeds and prettier gardens.
.-= Lori Paximadis´s last post … Ah, Friday! =-.
The Hard:
-Ongoing biological plumbing problems, to use @Emily’s phrase.
-Major anxiety about sucky job. Wasn’t I just grateful for it a few months ago? Why must perspective elude me so?
The Good:
-Took Monday, my bday, off. And it was fabulous (thanks for the bday wishes, Havi!). I did exactly what I wanted: ate cereal – several bowls, watched “tv,” ate cake and ice cream, got a massage, danced, ate pizza, played with the animals.
-The shortened work week.
-My gentleman friend putting on meditation music last night to calm me.
-Legs up the wall and breathing to calm myself, with my little dog licking my tears from my face.
-Work task that shows they actually realize I have a brain!
-Saw doctor re: plumbing probs and got insight/solutions.
.-= Dawn´s last post … On Being an Independent Scholar =-.
I dunno what’s up, I’ve been pretty happy for the past few weeks. Go figure!
The Hard
– Got woken up earlier than I wanted to by my alarm Pod chittering and meowing at birds outside the window. Could not reach him to hit snooze, little bastard.
– Some awkwardness with friendships that I’m sure will get smoothed over soon enough, but is making me a little anxious now.
– Pulled a muscle in my back on Sunday, but I’m mostly back to normal now and very happy about it.
– Didn’t get the awesome rearranging done Sunday that I wanted to do, due to aforementioned ouchies.
– Long meeting Weds was eternal, and not great for aching muscles.
The Good
+ Cuddle kittehs like to cuddle.
+ Finances are doing pretty well, actually. Having enumerated my debts for the Money Calls I can see places to quickly eliminate a few of them for instant gratification, and am already making progress in that direction.
+ Decided to raise art prices & donate 10% of each sale to charity. Made a tiny sale!
+ Feeling very encouraged about the art thing, and energized.
+ I have named my Monsters, they are a Malignity of Goblins. They dance and prance and jeer and leer and I clearly need to draw or paint them.
+ Making progress on the Monsters people bought last week.
+ Happy clients are happy. Full workload is full. Inspired brain is inspired.
+ Sun is shining and it’s cool and breezy and lovely out.
+ Roommate came home for his irregular naptime bearing a magnum of Spanish sparkling wine, which we plan to drink tonight with sugar and lemon bitters and great relish.
+ Got to eat delicious pot roast all week as minion who was coming to help rearrange helped cook instead. Roast beef hash with eggs & cheese = best leftovers ever.
.-= Amy Crook´s last post … Hooray! =-.
Chicken time, good good good.
The hard:
– Flight to Spain cancelled because of volcanic ash monster in the skies above Europe.
– Changed flight to two days later but then had a really bad nightmare about flying and could not make myself leave for the airport.
– Stomach bug set in more or less at the same time.
– Holiday fell through, aunt sad, uncle sad, me sad and confused.
– Stomach bug still there, can’t figure out what it is, possible side effect of oral typhus vaccination.
– Plain rice and fennel tea for 3 days.
The good:
– Discovered in this blog that others had nightmares, too and that anyway Mercury in retrograde seems to explain it all this week:-)
– Wonderful family day for my Mum’s birthday last weekend.
– Got work done despite feeling pretty lousy.
So here’s a mug of fennel tea to Mercury in retrograde! Have a great weekend everyone!
@Leocadia – ohhh. Nightmares are the *worst*. So sorry to hear. Lifting a mug of fennel tea with you. Mmmmm. Fenchel!
@Amy – you have no idea how happy I feel to read about all your good. Hurrah! AWESOME. Love it.
@Dawn – Hi sweetie! hug for the hard and cheering for insights/forward movement.
@Lori – oof me too with the avoidance. And smiles for the garden time. That sounds lovely.
@Danielle – Right? Right?! I almost threw the biggest diva fit. Because “I’m totally famous on the internet” works in airports. 🙂
@Jane – yuck. Shakes fist at Düsseldorf. Ridiculous. I also got felt up in the Amsterdam airport a few years ago. Blech. And monster cousins too. Unfair. Glad you got to the Book Fair!
@Gina – hi sweetpea. I miss you. Sizzleturk is DEFINITELY just one guy. And hugs for all the hard and the learning-not-the-way-you’d-necessarily-want-to.
@Beth – ooh fun! I adore being a fake aunt. It’s the best. Yay.
@Kat – Sovereignty soup! Sovereignty soup! I’m going to go ahead and let whoever is at the oral defense for your prelim know that you get 500 extra points every time you cry. Ha. That will that show them.
Points! And extra points for sovereignty soup.
@Hiro – Love! Happy for all that good.
@Riin – hope the acupuncture does good things and brings comfort and relief. Migraines = awful.
@Barbara – Mead! Outdoors! Wow. So much good.
@Kai – Tree Trunks! That is the sweetest. Plus being in charge of Kailand! Nice.
@Bridget – oh, poor kitty. (Let’s get this party started)
@Emily – stomping! And yes, I am doing the monkey RIGHT NOW. Well, first the chicken. And then the monkey. Remind me sometime to tell you all about the Selma dance move my brother invented … “do the duck!”
Oof, so much hard in your week… Good thing there’s also quite a bit of good!
The hard in my week:
– I don’t feel comfortable spelling out the hardest of the hard publicly; let’s just say it involved my gentleman friend’s family, lots of anger, and at least as much sadness. Haaaaaaard.
– After seeing so much enthusiasm among the storytellers to whom I had offered to teach a Shiva Nata class, it was pretty discouraging to see so few of them actually signing up for it.
The good:
– I have a few signups for the class, and we have set a date and time. It is happening!
– All the cheering that took place at the Twitter bar when I mentioned that the class was scheduled. That was pretty awesome!
– My gentleman friend.
.-= Josiane´s last post … Middle of the night musings =-.
Hey there fellow chickens, love to you all.
Hard/Good: it’s combined for me this week.
There are some really wonderful amazing astounding mindblowing things developing in my life. Many of them are my-thing-related. Others are wonderful shifts happening in me and in the important people in my life. It’s all really good.
But it’s so good that it’s really hard for me to take it in. Sometimes the good feels so raw and excruciating that I almost can’t bear it. It frightens me, I feel like it’s almost breaking me. I guess it is breaking me, the old me, at least.
And I’m sometimes I’m really really sad. Losing the old me.
I’m being deliberately slow and patient, deliberately moving through this transition (feels like a whole-on transformation, a lot bigger than just a transition) slowly. I don’t want to rush through it, tear through it and somehow kind of leave a piece of me torn off and left behind caught in it. I feel like this is exactly how I need to do it.
But it’s really hard. Excruciating. Amazing beautiful crazy good, but excruciating scary sad hard. All at the same time.
Completely get the part about freaking out over not hearing back on the lease…. Glad to hear it was a simple matter of a vacation. Although that was inconsiderate of them because you are trying to get the Playground born!! 😉
The Hard:
– Despite not being wowed by the candidate we were bringing in for an interview for the program director position, at least it was a ray of hope that my workload would not be insane forever. Of course, the candidate withdrew his application Thursday morning. Next search begins in the fall which means it is a minimum of 16 months before I will see any relief on the workload front.
– On the same day the candidate withdrew, an adjunct that I had lined up to teach this summer bailed. Oh boy, a double-header kind of day. 6 weeks to find a replacement.
– No food in the house. Well, not food that I can eat (no wheat or dairy for me). No time to go to the grocery store due to the above mentioned insane workload. So another week of crap eating and wondering why the waistline isn’t getting any smaller.
The Good:
– Made significant progress on a research proposal. Although it makes my workload crazy for the summer, it provides tremendous opportunities for my students. Plus, I’m likely to learn something in the process which is always a benefit.
– Last lecture done for my Wednesday night class. WOOHOO! Now I get to listen to my students inform me on topics as they are presenting for the next two weeks.
– I have a new tenant!!!! Signing the lease on Monday!!!! No gap between tenants, either. HOORAY FOR VPA’s!!!!!!!!!!
Back to work………..
The hard:
-Girl crap.
-Massive headache that did not go away with time, ibuprofen, caffeine, or water (a usually foolproof combo, those four)
-Weekend drama (friend X has a birthday! Fiancee Y wants to do something nice for Z, but says friend Z is planning it and she has no details. Friend Z was not aware of this!)
-C’s dad has cancer. Please send prayers/warm wishes/positive vibes as you see fit.
The good:
+Almonds!
+Chorizo mushroom puff pastry thingies!
+Sort-of job interviews that might lead to real job interviews!
+Naps! (I’m with Havi!)
+C’s dad is only stage 1, and they think they got it all out in the biopsy!
.-= Laura G´s last post … In which I get ready for another year =-.
The hard…hmmm, I’m eating pate’ which has magic powers to make all the hard disappear.
The good…private yoga classes in which we practice all the things I want like inversions and strong-arm-building. And since they aren’t really private yoga classes, they are regular classes at a brand new studio that people are still finding so sometimes I the only one there, they are only $15 and not $85.
the pate. From happy chickens and grass fed cow butter.
the lunch out to which I took myself today.
the handstand I did the other day.
I spent this week obsessively Googling symptoms and worrying about what is happening to me. I think my life is about to change. I know that’s a hard. I hope it turns out to be a good. I’m scared. I am having a hard time thinking about anything else and haven’t gotten a stitch of work done since Monday. Next steps: I have printed out “Reality only occasionally bites” and am going to do some yoga and then I will do some journaling and answer the useful questions. These are specific things I can do! Yay! Action steps!
Hi Havi,
I loved this post as I have been loving your blog for almost a year now. Thank you so much for all that you share, it has helped me beyond measure. It’s a long story for why I have not commented until now and I don’t want to bore everyone here with the sordid details. I’m so happy to be with such an amazing group–I have learned so much even from the crowd that comments here it’s just amazing.
Havi, I laughed so hard at your new definition of sovreignty. any way of getting that into the dictionary?
Pure genius!
“Sovereignty, as you know, is the spiritual quality of not giving a shit.” I think I may love you more for that than for anything else that has ever shown up on this blog before. It also just went on my whiteboard as a reminder of what I’m going for, so thank you!
The Good:
-The “Oh my god why do I have no business due to tax season” turned into the “Oh my god I need caffeine and more hours in my day” week, so that was awesome. More of the same next week, or at least I hope so.
-Really fabulous and wonderful clients this week, as usual. It’s inspiring to see all the cool things that people do to earn money and be happy at the same time, and how good at it they all are.
-Found some wonderful things on the internet this week that made me feel like people are really working to improve our thoughts and the state of the world in innovative and interesting ways, and that made me happy.
The Bad/Weird: Nothing awful this week, just a little awkward.
-I am going on a trip next week, and I really want to take my dog. Because yes, I’m one of those dog people that really sees their dog as a companion and it’s important to me that he comes with me. Explaining that to the people I’m visiting? Well, that just feels mostly awkwardly and a little silly and like I’m imposing.
-Having a hard time reminding myself that everyone has a different perspective, and even when I’m tired and allergy ridden that I should probably spend way more time on the other person’s perspective. At least before I get all annoyed at something they probably didn’t mean. It’s a work in progress.
.-= Holly´s last post … BlogPawty Giveaway! =-.
HARD:
Getting out of bed.
My dad came to visit, after three years of not speaking to me. It was nice, but awkward, and it pretty much triggered ALL my stuff. I’m still not sure how to process it and I’m kind of afraid that I just…WON’T.
Beating myself up for not writing music.
Wishing I had more money but not feeling like I have the ability to get it.
I think I’ve got myself hooked on salt again, after two years of being really successful at cutting back, and I’m both upset about the effects that may have on my health as well as about how easy it was for me to slip back into that habit/addiction after how hard I worked to get out of it, which then triggers my guilt about all the other things I’ve worked really hard in my life at and been successful with for a limited period of time and then gone right back to my old ways.
GOOD:
Going back to yoga after 9 months of wishing I would go back to yoga
Re-committing myself to a “loose” expectation that I will exercise for at least 15 minutes a day, 5 days a week. In addition to yoga on Monday, I’ve gone outside for a walk on 4 of the other 7 days this week, which gives me 5 out of 7 days.
Sleeping during the day. I mean, well, it felt good. It probably wasn’t very good for me in the long-term, but damn it was good in the short.
Buying new underwear. This needs no further explanation.
Having a session from my Reiki master and being told that overall I seem to be doing okay, even though I’m not really sure I believe her and it’s the first time she’s ever told me something like that which I didn’t entirely feel like was believable.
Taking steps toward planning my trip to Seattle next month.
Visited with my new 6 and 7 year old friends, and their parentally affiliated grownup. Had a couple really good conversations with the 7 year old about boundaries (“I don’t like to have my tummy poked, but if you want to play a poking game it’s okay to poke my arms, and if there’s another body part you want to touch I need you to ask first and I’ll tell you if it’s okay” and “It’s okay to play a game where I’m a troll or a monster or a witch, but warlock means something different and I prefer that you do not call me that”) which, by the end of the evening, led to both of us feeling more comfortable with each other and the parentally-affiliated-grownup friend feeling pleased about the interactions that her child was having with a new adult friend.
Glee night on Tuesday with my friend, followed by coloring book time!
.-= Oliver Danni´s last post … choirqueer: There’s an ADORABLE old couple kissing under a tree in the rain. I can see them from my window. <3 =-.
You know what good thing happened to me this week? You did, lady, that’s what. Thank you for your encouragement and support. I am forever grateful.
That’s right. Forever.
the bad:
–lots and lots of senseless fatigue all week.
–didn’t exactly eat well, or at all–i think i had dinner maybe 3 times?
–a muscle spasm in my neck that lasted for about two days, so i didn’t really sleep and OD’d on Aleve but hey, it’s all necessitating the GOOD…
the good:
–had my first acupuncture experience! yowza! shazam! i don’t think i’ve felt this relaxed in…i can’t remember, such a great discovery. i feel loose and relaxed in places i didn’t know i was stiff and withdrawn.
–the weekend!
–one of the greatest thrifting hauls of all time
–a pint of coconut bliss waiting for me
–two yoga classes
–one of my students telling me, “ms. m., did you know i went to the taylor swift concert? with ella? and we touched her! we really did!” i melt.
I forgot to check the “notify me of followup comments” box on my previous post, whoops!
The Hard —
— Feeling like bricks are being thrown at me through email by one person in particular–a bit player in my life drama who, because I spend so much time obsessing about their ouch-not-in-proportion-to-the-pinch reactions, is threatening to take over the show, the program, and the concession stands. The only person in my current life who has EVER made me feel an inch tall, consistently.
— Feeling resistance to the (what feels like) tremendous responsibilities I really don’t feel like shouldering.
— Looking in the mirror and feeling jowly.
— No exercise, not enough naps.
— Wondering, some days, why I’m going through with this whole doctoral degree when. It’s a cloud that passes overhead, and the sun emerges, but still.
— Feeling always always so far behind. General air of dissatisfaction.
The Good —
— Falling back on my disputing exercises when bad things happen that threaten my stability. And my affirmations, when I remember to use the damn things.
— My email coach, Julie, who is helping me along.
— My banjo teacher/counselor, who is helping me along.
— Cairene, who is leading a new time mgmt class I joined that started this week
— My ever-lovin’ wife, who supports me in ways she’ll never know
— Deciding to do only good-enough jobs on two presentations this week (one of them I barely knew the ending of until I got to it during the performance). And they were indeed good-enough — not great, but I realized afterward, they didn’t NEED to be great.
— Time, time to finish the truckload of work that needs to be got through. I want to rush through it in an unhurried fashion, if that makes any sense. “Deliberate speed.”
— Knowing it’ll all be OK.
.-= Mike´s last post … Science is boring! =-.
Hooray for Chickens!!!!!!!
The hard stuff
BLUERGH.
Quite a bit of hard this week, hiding just under the surface. Anxiety about things out of my control. So anxious about things that logically Don’t Really Matter, but I can feel the tension and bleugh.
Not Dancing Enough. Even when I knew a bit of ShivaNata or flailing to Weather Girls wou;ld bring me up; I just didn’t wanna. And It took a while to say “you know, it’s okay to feel like this”.
Drawing Perfectionism. I decided to make my metaphor Enchantress come to paper, so drew her. And it took hours and I got upset and Mneh. But I’m posting a picture of her on my blog and I’m happy with her now.
Showers.
The shower’s still broken. Feeling ick. Still havign nightmares = cold sweat = More Ick. Just an Ick week.
Exams! Holy Carp! Mock exams are flying left and right at University. I am so not the eye of this tornado. Flailing and flying. Oof.
The good stuff
Meditation! Back to co-running weekly meditation sessions at University. I’ve missed our teacher. He’s basically my life coach I think. It was good to give myself that space.
Lot of excitement coming up. Over the next 4 weekends I’m doing somethign I love on each of the Sunday’s. With the run-up to exams, that’s an amazing relief to me. I’m putting my health and wellbeing first. I’ll have chances to rest.
Enthusiasm! Some people on my twitter/blogroll are doing amaizng things!! Like tecahing ShivaNata and Moving House and it’s all so EXCITING and i’m so blessed to be witnessing their excitement. I’m so stoked for them all and it’s just WONDERFUL. In every way.
VPA Progress I’m getting real responses to my VPA. I’m noticing coaching sessions and e-books and all sorts and brainign storming during lectures and I’m feeling the cogs slightly click into palce. It’s so nice to be getting somewhere.
Conversation! I spoke to my fear with kindness (see Kitten Conversations at my blog) and it totally helped! I’m so blessed to have a kitten (assistant) look out for me.
These Chickens I may have to start doing a chicken on my own blog – I;m kind of hooked. Thank you havi (and everyone else) for sharing your weeks. It’s a wonderful thing to see.
~Rose
.-= Rose´s last post … Kitten Conversations: i =-.
sovereignty = i’m glad you are working on it here, so i can learn from you.
the hard:
-digestion issues keeping this old girl awake thereby interfering with the ever precious sleep. double ugh.
– not being well enough to attend first training session because of tummy trouble.
-deciding to stop seeing a trusted counselor because of sovereignty issues.
-upcoming high stakes testing – poor little students.
the good:
– social worker visit for adoption went great and we’re one step closer to becoming parents.
-deciding to stop seeing a trusted counselor because of sovereignty issues.
– planning a community event at the studio and many people are coming
-connecting some people and having all parties be really excited about each other.
– signing up for another round of training – walking with other ladies = fun times.
– planets aligning and walking with friends and the hubs.
– long hot baths
– starting writing a book of me.
– food photos are coming out better
– yoga!
– meeting new interim superintendent and she’s amazingly human and reasonable.
-not completely beating myself up for my awkward candidness with new sup. maybe she found me charmingly idiotic instead of plain-old idiotic?
.-= Tami´s last post … Song of the Day! =-.
The bad:
– Tired of drinking so much. So much booze left over from the party, and so many guests in our house!
– Trying to sleep at a reasonable hour again. Not fun!
– Missing meditation.
The good:
– First, second, and third CouchSurfers.
– Got to know the city again, through the eyes of a visitor.
– Books are selling!
– Yay to a “more active lifestyle”. Running and walking places!
– Finished the Dragonrider’s of Pern series.
– The big trip is almost here!
– Lots of reprogramming.
.-= Eric Normand´s last post … Cool health projects =-.
The hard:
Work. Seems to get worse every week.
Had breakfast with my parents yesterday. Feel so disconnected from my father. Really sad, feel so conflicted about it.
The good:
Had an awesome fight with my wife on Monday and cleaned up something that was bothering me and juts let it go instead of holding on to it for years.
Girls night out turned into father daugther time. Went for a run together and then out to dinner!
(Hey Casey + Lucy … where are you guys?)
@Ross – thanks for the phrase “awesome fight”. That’s great.
@tami – kiss!
@Mike – hooray for knowing it will be okay. And I’m glad you’re taking Cairene’s course — she is marvelous.
@Oliver – I laughed out loud at your conversation with your new friend and that beautiful display of clear boundaries and sovereignty. Awesome.
Sorry for all the hard, especially with your dad. Sounds really painful.
@Holly – that’s great that there’s only awkward instead of hard this week. Hope it all works out with your dog and the visit.
@Cathy – hug!
@laine – mmmm pate
@everyone – oh I love reading your chickens so much. I wish scrolling didn’t hurt my back. And that I could give each of you a hug. Thanks for being part of my week like this. It makes the whole weekend special.