Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
FRIDAY!
Where have you been all my life, sweet sweet Friday?
Alright. Chicken.
The hard stuff
Too much busy. Again!
All sorts of things going on.
And apparently all of the absolutely must get finished before the holidays or all hell will break loose variety.
An entire day of hard.
Gah.
It seriously would not stop with the hardnesses. I did not like.
Pain.
Two different situations where people I really trusted did something seriously untrustworthy.
So I feel sad. And anxious. And distrustful of my own judgment.
Making tough decisions.
Makes my head hurt.
Having to set boundaries on the blog again.
Every single time that I think I’m done with this, it turns out that I’m wrong because no, not quite yet.
Though I guess the good part of that is that I agonize about the boundary-setting waaaaay less than I used to.
Blah, blah, craziness, blah.
More whining about being busy. See, I’m so busy that I can’t even complain about it in style.
Not just being crazy busy but having it happen during Hannukah.
Which just makes it that much harder to do the proper grease-spattered deep-fried-everything chaos part.
On the other hand, latkes!
So I guess that brings us to the good.
The good stuff
Sleep! I love it.
On Saturday I got twelve hours of sleep. In a row.
That kind of never happens, so it was absolutely delicious.
It was like feeding a hungry plant. My whole body got to have a happy.
In the midst of the hard, so many beautiful sparkly pieces of good.
So many!
My gentleman friend outdid himself on the bread baking and made the bread of all breads. The bread that is so good it made me cry.
A surprise bouquet of roses and lilies from Hiro … that arrived right smack in the middle of my Day of Hard.
And my magical lotions and potions from Heidi arrived in my mailbox.
And a present from Amy! And sweet cards and notes and such from readers. Mostly for Selma, but they still nailed the up-cheering.
Hannukah.
Pretty, pretty candles.
So much cheerful.
Plus my gentleman friend made some kick-ass latkes. Again with the kitchen magic! Extra points!
My people* are so great.
Seriously, I must have read a gazillion applications this week (for the Kitchen Table, for my Destuckification Retreat, for Biggification 2010).
And these applications are completely brilliant. I’m sure my people don’t actually realize this as much as they should, but they are so smart and so funny and so thoughtful and so kind.
All of them. And I just feel this big love for the people who want to come and do wackiness with me and my duck.
* No, not the Jews. I mean the people who apply to do my programs. It was weird because I said “my people” right after the Hannukah thing and it was like the whole “let my people go” thing. Never mind.
Celebration with gentleman friend of the day we met.
Really? That many years since I first met the tattoo-covered motorcycle-riding hooligan who would make me that perfect loaf of bread this week?
It all seems highly unlikely.
The good outweighed the hard again.
I’m not sure how. There must be things I’m not remembering.
But my sense is that this week was infused with lots of good. Lots of moments of good that made the hard less sticky.
The pirate song.
Gilbert (@CrazyOnYou) sent me a link to this.
And it is the best. You have to listen to it!
And … playing live at the meme beach house!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
Give it up for …
Myopic Hucksterism
Ohmygod. I love it. I got this from Sam Rosen who is @samrosen on Twitter.
He was saying something about how Selma and I manage to be all hey, look at us being a real person and a real duck and everything … but still make money and stuff despite our human-ness and love of Betty Boop.
Except he said it much more eloquently than that because he’s an extremely well-spoken guy. And I’m probably remembering it wrong.
The point was that he thinks we’re a refreshing change from “the myopic hucksterism so prevalent across the web”.
And I was all, ooh I love that band.
And then he kindly gave me permission to use Myopic Hucksterism as our Fake Band Of The Week.
Though he did say that he hoped I wouldn’t mind if at some point he does decide to start a post-punk-fusion band with the same name.
In which case, he will let me feature it — again — as the first-ever Real Band of the Week.
But whatever. We all know it will be … just one guy.
That’s it for me …
No Stuisms this week because I deleted them. I know. It’s tragic. And what’s even more tragic is that he thinks that’s hilarious. Or would if he weren’t a stupid piece of software.
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.
Follow
“Two different situations where people I really trusted did something seriously untrustworthy.”
I’m with you on this one, this week. Hopefully it won’t happen again – at least, not often – and hopefully never two in one week.
Hopefully.
I’m so glad that the good at least feels like it outweighed the hard, which is really what matters at the end of the week, isn’t it? 🙂
A further good, to help you outnumber the hard even more: You’ve really changed my life this year. Between Dance of Shiva (I found my DVD! I finally gave up and then came across it when I was going through a box in a different room…), this blog, and Twitter, you have helped me be a better person than I was at this time last year. So thank you, more than I can express.
Have a glorious weekend, Havi.
The hard stuff:
Quitting my job to start company officially this week. Today, actually. Quite scary. Good scary, but still kind of panic inducing.
Getting my first shoe on my blog. I survived, thanks to some really nice people, and I certainly feel better educated about things now.
Christmas. Christmas stresses me out, I hate to say it. But mostly the week before Christmas makes me want to hide out in a cave somewhere away from everyone else.
The Good:
All the wonderful and amazingly supportive comments on my blog yesterday(many from Havi’s readers). I love you guys, you turned my day around.
Getting to hang out with friends this weekend and next week. I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t seen anyone, so I’m excited to have some social time to decompress.
Realizing that the SEO on my site worked and that I come up under “hire copywriter”, and not something awful and accidental like, “Oh crap” or “It’s freezing cold here today.
I am trying to destuckify Christmas, with various levels of success. I think everyone else is too this week.
Again Havi, thanks for reading and commenting yesterday. I’m honored.
.-= Holly´s last post … On Shoe Throwing, and Being a Pirate Queen =-.
Oh, bah humbug indeed.
This week. Well. This week is nearly OVER and for that I am glad.
The hard
–Not sleeping. I am a creature who loves her nine hours a night. I am a creature who, historically, has had no problems sleeping. This is why, having slept more than five hours about TWICE in the last three weeks, I am now ragingly insane. Really. It would be better if people would just back away slowly.
–Trip backlash. Remember the outlaw fundraiser? We went. We ate. We smiled and clapped and chit-chatted and silent auctioned. And then we left and I fell completely apart, because fundraisers are apparently Julie kryptonite and I did not have my protective sleep-induced ability to cope.
–Our beautiful B&B featured someone yelling obscenities at 11:30 at night, in the middle of essentially nowhere, in the dark, with no one there (we thought) but the proprietress. Terrifying, to say the least.
–Trying to pick up the threads of work on a Thursday does not so much work. I’m getting things done but I am all out of sorts.
–All of the tired and overwhelmed and sick mean I’m not just exhausted, I’m depressed. Good times.
The good
–I got to spend a lot of the trip playing basketball with a naked toddler. Seriously, if there’s anything more charming than a skinny little mop-headed two year old holding his Kermit so Kermit can try to make a free-throw, I don’t know what it is.
–The lovely B&B. Despite the yelling, it had the most comfy bed in the whole world and it was a little refuge from the outlaws.
–Our animals were really, really, really happy to see us again, even as they were wonderfully happy and calm from the new (and fabulous) pet sitter.
It’s supposed to snow something like a foot this weekend, which DC does not deal well with, so I’m hoping we essentially get snowed in so I can hibernate without having to tell anyone I’m not coming to their reindeer games.
Bah. Happy flipping holidays.
Interesting. I’m actually a little more cheerful having enumerated all the reasons I’m grouchy!
Chicken!
Sorry to hear about the untrustworthiness and the tough decisions and the craziness. But yay sleep! (Some day, I, too, will have some…)
Hard this week:
– Frenzy. Just the usual stresses, I suppose, but they are intensified at this time of year, and I am exhausted.
– Arguing with my beloved. See “stress”, above.
– Bedtime of the two-year-old: the way it’s completely hornswoggled if he has a nap, and the way it utterly has to involve me.
Good this week:
+ Shiva Nata! I’m only barely scratching the surface of a dim and wispy awareness of the vaguest sense of its potential, but it feels pretty exciting.
+ Singing! My chamber choir gave a concert last weekend, which ROCKED. Later in the week we were filmed singing carols for television, and this evening we have another carol-singing gig.
+ Friends! Some of my favourite people are converging on Dublin for Christmas, and it’s lovely to see them. We had a long day of hosting yesterday, with boardgaming and talking and eating, and it was brilliant.
Onwards.
.-= Lean Ni Chuilleanain (@leannich)´s last post … Spring Two Steps Forward, One Step Back =-.
@Havi – the untrustworthy of the trustworthy – ow ow ow ow ow.
@Holly – ‘Realizing that the SEO on my site worked and that I come up under “hire copywriter”, and not something awful and accidental like, “Oh crap” or “It’s freezing cold here today.’ – Love it! I’ve been having some hilarious ones this week.
@Lean – hornswoggled!
***
Anyway… Chick’m!
Two of each…
##Hard##
~ In-law family gathering of nine, then – SURPRISE! – bumped up to 14 and four barking dogs. Hard for my Quite Sensitive Person soul.
~ Thinking that Havi is talking to me when she talks about people treating the Right People thing as High School – made me realise the need behind the desire to belong to a gang, and trying to make *this* my gang, but in maybe an exclusionary way. Good learning but hard. And I had such a great, flippant comment to make on the post, but by the time I got to it, the conversation had turned all serious. Damn! Missed a chance to be flippant!
##Good##
~ Taking my own advice (from my blog, no less) and finding it works. Like, I’m *significantly* less bad-crazy this week.
~ First Yin Yoga DVD session. My hips are *so* happy.
Happy weekend, Chickeneers!
.-= Andrew Lightheart @alightheart´s last post … How to be less grumpy =-.
Oh, and BUNNIES!
.-= Andrew Lightheart @alightheart´s last post … How to be less grumpy =-.
The hard this week:
– all colleagues really sad that I am leaving – I am sad to leave them, great bunch of people
– old patterns (Mr. Worry-about-Money and Mrs. Don’t-want-to-take-risks) knocking loudly on my internal door
– minus 7 C°(19 °F)
The good:
– talk with other boss went surprisingly well, my decison accepted, no shoes thrown at me
– my colleagues / soon to be ex-colleagues
– beautiful hazy sunlight shining through snowflakes
– Paul Grilley’s Yin Yoga DVD arriving in the mail (it’s a lot cheaper via yogamatters than via amazon)
– found notes I took during a Shiva Nata workhop with Havi in September, quite amazing stuff. And a quote scribbled on it somewhere “belief clings, faith lets go”. So true.
I love how reading this blog and its comments is like coming home. I’ve needed that given all the unfamiliar surrounding me.
The Hard:
– Adjusting to new job, looooooong commute (3 hours/day! any suggestions for things to do on a long commute?), the reality of a 9-5 government contract job
– The cold and the dark
– Having a meltdown while trying to practice driving a 5-speed. On the anniversary of my mother’s passing. Lots of crap stirred up there.
– Still waiting, 2 weeks later, for my advisor to tell me what edits I need to do to officially submit the dissertation. Despite numerous reminders. Grr.
The Good:
– Coming back to Havi and Selma’s blog, to all its contributors, to the Friday Chicken
– Getting my new spinning bike set up in the home gym. It’s gleaming and wonderful and is my well-earned reward for getting the PhD.
– Deciding to take a break from dissertation until after the holidays. Or rather, a break from worrying about when I’ll get the edits so I can submit it to the university.
– Working on my budget and realizing that for once in my life, I have ENOUGH funds to live comfortably.
Oh, Chicken!
-The Hard-
Here is the biggie. My Grandma has been diagnosed with quickly advancing leukemia. It is painful and she is afraid. My Mom is very upset, and I am upset that they are upset. Lots of hard around this one.
This week I had both my final exam and final project due for my class. Plenty of work needed to be done and I had to flex my boundary muscles to get it done.
I had a big icky epiphany while driving down the road regarding a big piece of stuck. I am still processing this one.
Being surrounded by holiday sweets and food I don’t want to be eating.
-The Good-
The class I am taking to get me closer to my Thing? It’s over! Final exam? CHECK! Final Project? CHECK! YAY!
Lunch with in-laws last weekend proved to be surprisingly painless and supportive.
Got together with a friend who usually draining, but not this time. What a nice surprise.
Thanks to Havi and all the Chicken commenter who make this a great place to hang. 🙂
Yay chicken!
The hard…
– Found out one of my customers was closed by the bank on Thanksgiving. Kissing goodbye to the money they owed me.
– Not getting as much exercise this week, plus eating more calories than I have been since I started losing weight. Afraid I’ll fall off that wagon permanently.
– All that Christmas stress-ey stuff. Ugh.
The good…
– Spent lots of time out with other people, and didn’t completely hate it or feel uncomfortable and icky. I think I’m getting better at it!
– Realizing I’m doing way better than employees of customer who was shut down. They got no severance, and no medical insurance. And I won’t need to write off that much money. So I’m relieved.
– Realizing my sons are awesome! They are making me feel so much better about Christmas whenever I get down. My baby (he’s 22) has made it his mission to cheer me up and it is totally working! And whenever I talk to my oldest, I realize how proud I am of how he turned out.
.-= Avonelle Lovhaug´s last post … Ask the Programmer: Why can’t I “own” my code? =-.
Did I skip some chickens? I think I did. Hey guys, how you all doing?
Hard: feeling sick. Pain in my back/shoulder. Not enough sleep. Hm, lots of physical stuff.
The boyfriend having the rage. Never ever directed at me, but it makes him unhappy and makes me feel helpless. It’s not even about anything that’s worth getting angry over, and he agrees with that, but still he gets so angry he hurts himself.
Feeling burnt out creatively. I’ve got a big project going with a deadline, so that’s not the greatest timing ever. I’m also should-ing myself something awful, and can’t seem to stop.
Good: My buttkicking partner, Ali Hale of http://www.aliventures.com/ is such a big help. Having someone who cares whether I do my stuff or not, and is there for the ups and downs of my creative wrangling is really great. And I love seeing her do great stuff, which she does all the time.
Little pieces of mindfulness. Learning (again) to take the time to really tune in to what’s going on with me. It makes a big difference, and I can do more of this.
Next week I’ll be at home. I may not have internet access. Have good times everyone! And if you have hard times instead, remember you’re not the only one. December is not an easy month, don’t let the jolly people tell you otherwise!
Ouch. Hugs for everyone’s hard so far. Ouch, ouch. And for everyone who posts later. More hugs. Because this holiday thing seems to bring up a lot of stuff for everyone.
(Right now, I am thinking, how is it possible that I’ve never had latkes? I mean, okay, my family was southern and uh, Baptist/Methodist, so sure, but still. By now? I should have tried them somewhere!)
Um, chicken. (Already?? Sheesh!)
The hard:
-The usual. Not even going to name it. Just the same old stupid hard. (Harumph.) I kind of know what needs to be done to fix but I just don’t have the …um, let’s say guts. Fear. Fear. Fear. (What if everyone hates me? What if I ruin my life?) You know how it is. Sigh.
Good:
-Oh Heidi. Your potions! And Havi! Thanks for reminding, because when Heidi wrote the post about the Aardvark dream and all that I was all like, “where oh where do I get these magical potions?” And then bookmarked it, but forgot to check. They arrived yesterday. Oh wonderful!
-We put up the tree and all that stuff, and Little Bird is just delightful about it all. I am not nearly as humbug as I used to be. It’s because of her. Her delight makes me feel all gooey and good.
-Doing most of my holiday shopping on Etsy. Which is waaaaaay better than going to the (gasp! ack!) mall. And because I was someone’s 100th customer, they sent extra stuff! I think I started believing in Santa again…
-Can I be grateful for this community of people? I’ve connected with some caring wonderful people around here. Wow. My heart swells. I know that’s cheesy, but still. True.
.-= Emily´s last post … Whoa. Wait a Second. A Decade? Really? I Didn’t Even Realize… =-.
Chicken time again…
Havi, I’m so sorry for your hard this week. It’s painful to trust someone and have that trust shattered by their behavior.
*Hugs* and empathy for everyone’s difficult places this week. And celebrating all the good with you!
This has mostly been a good week, for me.
+ Cleared up muddy communication with a couple of people. Affirmed boundaries and then could be generous.
+ Honored my need for rest and solitude and am feeling so much happier as a result.
+ Discovered that the Stand By function on my computer stops the awful hum of it from permeating the whole room, so am now using it with great delight. 🙂
+ Two more wonderful people registered for my January program this week. I love the powerful, creative group that’s forming!
+ I’ve been consciously choosing to bring ease and flow into each situation that feels snaggy or sticky this week. It’s working well.
Wishing you all a beautiful weekend!
Love, Hiro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Sunday Poem #13: Buddhist Chronicles 3 =-.
@Dawn – when I commuted five hours a day (I know – I *loved* that job – for a while) I did an Open University diploma in Spanish.
But, er, I think you might be past that.
Audible.com for audiobooks?
Michel Thomas/Pimsleur for language learning?
I’d suggest knitting but then you just become that crazy knitting lady.
.-= Andrew Lightheart @alightheart´s last post … How to be less grumpy =-.
Mm, deep-fried everything. That sounds so much better than the stupid things we eat at Christmas – Christmas pudding, mince pies, brussels sprouts, for crying out loud, it’s like a festival of eating nasty stuff. People, there’s a reason we stopped eating this stuff after the war.
Chicken!
The hard:
Money pile-up. My two most recent clients, through no fault of their own, have rendered me unable to finish their projects on time. They probably won’t be finishable for another month. This means, of course, that I don’t get my final installment payment for another month, either. Which is really quite a large chunk of cash arriving very late. Ah, cashflow. The joys of self-employment.
Scary new project began, and I was scared. Causing:
Not enough sleep. 🙁 Oy. I miss sleep.
The good:
Snow! And right now there’s a gorgeous peachy sunset over the sea, too.
Scary new project has so far proved much less scary than expected. (As usual. And yet I don’t learn.)
Christmas! I’m not really the world’s biggest Christmas fan, but the prevailing mood of holiday and time off and chilling out and stuff is actually making me rather happy. I’m even looking forward to seeing my family, especially as now they’re back on the farm there will be large wood fires and things. Marvellous.
Happy midwinter stuff, folks. May you all have a splendid time full of glorious foods.
Havi, I’m so sorry about the untrustworthyness thing, that just sucks. Lucky me, this week was FABULOUS. No hard, lots of good!
* Lots of tutoring work because it’s finals week. Yay money!
* I made almond-nut brittle! And I made bread! How domestic of me.
* Decluttered and donated to a charity that PICKS UP donations, even small ones. Love that.
* Began volunteer webmastering for my local homeless shelter. Feels wonderful.
* An artist whom I’ve admired and blog-stalked for years agreed to be my daily accountability partner. Score!
* My sweetie is moving in with me TODAY!!! Too happy.
I can’t believe how lucky I am. Hugs to everyone, and wishes for very Happy Holidays all around!
.-= Barbara J Carter´s last post … Is Art a Good Christmas Present? =-.
the hard
frida the cat so stressed by orange cat visitors she developed cystitis and rushed to V E T this morning for 3 jabs and antri stress pills
one of my workplaces refusing to give me some info i need to do my tax return
the house is overwhelmed with stuff I have to wrap and organise before trip south
one of my photographs stolen from exhibition
the good
my freelancers christmas lunch !
the inland revenue were really helpful
my dad came to do emergency cat transportation
it snowed ! it snowed !
I’ve eaten all the chocolate coins
one of my pictures was so desired by someone THEY STOLE IT
Twitter has been helping me find places to teach in
I can’t wait to see my neice next week
.-= creativevoyage´s last post … Natalie Goldberg =-.
Hmmm:
The Hard:
-dealing with exceptionally frustrating banking shenanigans
-letting go of physical things that I had no need for and were obliging me to (literally) live in the past
-frustrating at trying to do new things and the amount of time it’s taking
-feeling like I’ve not made any real progress in any of my projects this week and I’m wasting my time, awakening feelings of OMG I am so stupid and lazy.
The Good:
-lots of deep, uninterrupted sleep
-feeling of liberation after getting rid of lots of stuff I neither want nor need
-taking time to appreciate some beautiful weather
-having a start date for a new job confirmed
-recieving the information for my MA, having a freak out I can’t do this moment, and then talking myself down from it
It’s been a week of the kind of frustration before you leap into something new.
.-= Jane´s last post … On applying for a Career Development Loan =-.
So happy to see all of you and read about your hard and your good. Hugs for the hard, rejoicing for the good!
I must go eat a breakfast. But owl be bock. Sorry, Schwarzenegger moment. Anyway. Foods!
Woah there! What a rough week some of you fellow travellers of the Chick’m have had.
Monster English *chest bumps* to all of you to make you smile.
A half and half week.
The Hard
I worked Monday to Wednesday – had a load of stuff to finish off before I could stop for my holiday. Aware of so many colleagues’ tiredness, we’re always so worn out at this time of year.
Have been struggling to feel the Christmas/ Holiday Season stuff and had a grumpy Bah Humbug moment in town while shopping for gifts on thursday.
Have had to run around to catch up on myself. buying presents, tidying the house, getting ready for visits. tiring!
Poor wife is knackered and stressed and it’s all just been a bit too much these last few weeks.
The Good
All the residual stress seems to have fully worn off and I can feel my body and brain easing up..
I got everything done workwise, so I approach my holiday with a clear conscience.
I asked at the twitter bar for some help getting out of my Bah Humbug fug and @jeremystockwell and @thegreatgar were great.
Today my mum and step-dad came to visit. We watched cricket in HD and ate fruitcake.
Tomorrow more friends and then Monday more family.
I cleared out my office and put up fairy lights so that my little brother and sister can sleep in there in comfort next week.
The Good OutWeighs the Hard Once Again!
Happy Winter Solstice to all of you! The light, the light!
Lucy xx
The bad:
– being a trustworthy person, who acted in an untrustworthy manner within my family not one of the ones Havi is talking about though but still bad being the source of an “untrustworthy act”
– beating myself up over it so much that I made myself physically sick
– beating myself up at the hypocrisy of the act and the response to the act that I made myself even more physically sick and then depressed
– accepting responsibility for and the repercussions of the act (which falls under the good too)
The good
– owning my untrustworthy act and accepting the responsibility for and repercussions of it
– becoming immediately aware of the connection of self flagellation as the source of the sick
– journalling it all out and fully reconnecting with a source I used to visit all the time when I was young
– the physical sick disappearing immediately after the reconnection
– noticing the easing of the pain in my back after becoming consciously aware of the levels of hypocrisy between actions versus thoughts and intentions
– the internship and everything I’m learning
– acknowledging the way I learn best is by doing, receiving constructive criticism and doing the same thing some more
– the lighterness of being because of various forms of acknowledgement and connection
Over all a good week, with a lot of responsibility for the hard at the beginning of it.
Cheers for all the good of all the Chickeners and may all our bad leave behind untold blessings.
Yay, chicken! It’s always so good to check in here and see that I’m not alone in either the good or the hard. And boooooo for untrustworthies.
The hard:
– All kinds of crazy emotional triggers in yoga class this morning. Apparently I hold all kinds of sob-worthy *stuff* in my lower back. Very hard to carry on through the class with tears running down your face.
– My nephew is in a bad place, and he doesn’t want to let anyone in to help him, and so it all just keeps spiraling and making what was a difficult but managable situation worse and worse. My heart aches for him, and it’s very difficult to know that all I can do is keep my door open to him for when he’s ready.
– Three malls in three days, because handmade gifts don’t suit everyone on my list.
The good:
– My yoga teacher handled the weird tears in just the right way, by acknowledging that they were there but not fussing over them or me and just letting them run their course.
– Cleveland Handmade’s Last Minute Market is tomorrow, and we’ve gotten all kinds of crazy good press around it from multiple newspapers and websites. And the word-of-mouth is also heartening: I overheard a couple of random people in a random coffee shop talking about it the other day. Score for us!
– A dear friend is coming into town this weekend, and we’re keeping it a secret to surprise another of our friends.
– I get to spend the whole afternoon in the studio today, and for the next two weeks I am working only half-days most days. I really need the break.
Happy Friday, everyone!
.-= Lori Paximadis´s last post … Best of 2009: Place =-.
On my way to work so keeping this short:
The Hard:
– interview and rejection after visiting only 3/5 of the interviewers
– new client holding my time and then unholding it. Project seems really disorganized.
– head really really stuck trying to start a few blog posts
– didn’t accomplish as much this week as I wanted to – spent a lot of time hiding under the covers and tidying the house
– dealt with a lot of stuck about the holidays and how very much I hate being told I should do something. Turns me right back into a little kid, complete with stomping and pouting.
The Good:
+ Didn’t actually *want* the job I interviewed for. Used it as a test case and for resume feedback.
+ Current client called to book me for a half-day today. The more face-time they get, the more likely I’ll be invited back (because I’m just so charming, you know 🙂
+ possible huge, cool blog post came to me in a dream last night, so when I awoke, I quickly made notes in my phone so I would remember.
+ did the distance Reiki thing with Elizabeth, which yielded some interesting results.
+ tentatively started talks with Elizabeth so we can help one another stay on track with our projects
+ collaborated with Dave and made some cards (while drunk, natch) to appease the family. When we sobered up, they still look pretty good.
+ discovered that Frosty the Snowman is the ONE holiday song that doesn’t send me screaming from the grocery store.
Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go…
Happy weekend everyone!
Oh OH – and scary. Riding a scooter today – it’s the first time since I broke my ribs on my other scooter. But the client is waaaay out on 18th and 3rd Streets, so no possibility of mass transit getting me there before tomorrow.
As a kid, I just didn’t appreciate the madness that my family went through to make those happy holiday memories. But I’m glad they did. I’m also glad(relieved?) that we kind of live out in the boonies away from the big tribes of family so that I don’t have to deal with too much madness as an adult.
The hard:
It’s too hard. My friend is dying and there’s nothing I can do to make it better.
The good:
Six of my pieces have been accepted at the Marietta College’s “Women in Fiber” exhibit; they took all of my large water tower pieces and “Tyger Tyger” which is my riff on Tibetan art.
Apparently two of my pieces had been accepted to the “Women in Appalachia” show here in town, but I only received notification for the one. The other one is going to Marietta. Wackiness ensued, but it was all ok.
My daughter loved the Totoro mittens I made her for Hanukkah.
My friend ordered a vegan cookie tray for her holiday party, which will help me make up the lost $ from the coffee shop being closed for the holiday. (and it means I get to make some of the cookies I’ve been wanting to try 😉
Wishing everyone a happy peaceful Friday and weekend!
.-= Andi´s last post … That’s What She Said =-.
Chicken!
Sounds like a lot of people are meeting deadlines and finishing big projects – yay! Relief!
And a lot of people are jumping into exciting-yet-maybe terrifying projects very soon – hug of encouragement.
And extra hugs for everyone who is going through lots of hard.
Hard this week:
– Working from home as usual, but now with a partner who is not working for the next 2 months. And who craves entertainment. I’ve found that boundaries are harder for me to set when I’m in a tiny, tiny space.
– Possibly ending four-year-long parental estrangement. Could also go under “good”, not sure yet.
And… the good:
– Self-care: what a novel idea! Ahhh.
– Beginning to stick to a couple of body/mind “rituals”. Not only do the rituals themselves feel good, it’s also nice to know I can be reliable and can count on myself. Excellent!
Happy Chicken to all!
(PS Now I’ve got the lovely deep voice of Paul Robeson booming in my head: Let my people goooooo)
Wow, a lot of hard this week on the Chicken. Hugs to all of you. I’m sorry about the untrustworthiness Havi. *hugs*
Hard
Communicating with a family member. I haven’t for a while because I just get tired of being The Good One who doesn’t Rock the Boat. But I needed to do it, and it’s done.
Back hurting because I’m not practicing yoga or walking. Keep telling myself to move but still stay behind the computer.
I’m not sure where this next one falls. It’s not really “hard” but it’s not up to “good” either. I’m thinking and dreaming and planning for the upcoming year. I’m dreaming what I want my business to become and who My Right People are and how much I want to help the people who come to me. That’s what I really want to focus in on this year: My Right People instead of throwing stuff all over the wall and seeing what sticks. I want to envision My Right People and help them. It’s hard but a good kind of hard. No answers or direction yet though.
Good
My Hubby loved the beautiful singing bowl I got him for Christmas from Fabeku! He’s getting the hang of it last night and all of these gorgeous tones were washing over me. (We always open our gifts to each other early because we’re always traveling to see family at Christmas.) I LOVE TO COOK and had worn my poor pots and pans out, so I had been dropping hints. My Hubby out did himself: beautiful triply pots and pans, with one of the triplies being stainless steel! They are bright and shiny, and I can’t wait to use them!
Going to see my family in Oklahoma next week for Christmas. Since we’re going early I am getting to do all the holiday baking! Woot! Mom’s not too big on all the baking, it works out great.
It’s going to be a good 20 (if not 30-40) degrees warmer in OK than Chicago! And I could use a break from all these gray, gloomy clouds that have been infesting the city for most of the last two weeks. I should be able to see the sun on a very regular basis in OK.
I won’t have internet connection next week (My Mother is a Luddite). I hope everyone here has a wonderful holiday with many good things waiting for them in the new year!
.-= Shawna R. B. Atteberry´s last post … Company Girl Coffee: Twas the Week Before Christmas =-.
Chickenssss!
Hugs to all for the hard and LaShae for practising the business of owning her stuff and sharing that.
The hard
Shoulder’s still burning lots.
Money flow. Eeeyuck.
My blogging life, voice. Know that I have more work-play to do to find my voice. My imperfection gremlins are out to play again and at the same time they have a voice. I’m no Havi and yet in life I’m obsessed with the business of how to love and be loved and eeeeyu. Struggling and sounding/feeling like a copycat, which is frustrating.
Wondering when I am going to find the will, the tools to sort out my crazy flat and finish jobs that could make my flat so much more inhabitable and joyous.
The good
Being here. Doing this.
You guys. Seriously. You guys.
Listened to Hiro yesterday. Wow. I can’t wait for 2010 and more juicy stuff to emerge.It blew my mind but in a good way.
The Freak Revolution – hearing the awesome duo talk the talk and signing up for their awesome course. I can not wait!
The fact that it’s nearly Xmas and I have a gift that’s been bought from here for me. Can not wait! Woo hooo.
All this light sparkly magic everywhere. Even in the hard, stuck.
Music, musicians, bands, pop music. I love it. It makes me vibrate happily. My spirit sours. I couldn’t live without it so ooo happy I have such a thing on tap, all day long if I want it. Grateful for those artists doing their thing and sharing it with us. Shifting the gloom that threatens to take hope with it some days.
“Two different situations where people I really trusted did something seriously untrustworthy.”
Uf. That’s happened to me a number of times in the past that I totally get being “distrustful of my own judgment.” Sucks. I’m probably still on tilt (such a descriptive poker phrase) from some of that even years later, i.e., embracing the antisocial hermit within.
The “*No, not the Jews” note made me laugh with spit-take surprise though.
Hard: cold that won’t quit though the symptoms have shifted to more tolerable ones. So very cold and windy here. Weather keeps changing which exacerbates my cold with sinus issues. Grr.
Good: Ya know I think there are finally some cookies in the house–yea!
Also, I kinda set up virtual shop yesterday. Put a couple photos on zazzle. Still lots to do so not an official launch thing yet, but yeah, it exists. It’s progress and it directly ties into my theme for this year: Begin anyway.
gotta jet, but happy Hannukah!
.-= claire @claireofttat´s last post … Astley & Fitch =-.
the hard
seeing how ugly i can be and being sorry. I’m sorry.
the good
setting boundaries with potential clients about my availability when they think their lack of planning constitutes my emergency.
woo hoo Chicken! I would like to echo what others have said about this blog really creating a space and feeling of home. All of you are so great and helpful and I love that we get to share things with each other. Thank you Havi for what you have created here!
my hard:
oh the pressure of making christmas gifts for the people I love. UGH. I have been on a roller coaster all week feeling excited and proud of my good ideas and then totally sh**ty and sure that they won’t turn out well and will be disappointing and ugly. It comes in half hour shifts pretty much and its exhausting and makes progress slow.
pulling long hours in the basement working on gifts instead of getting out to enjoy nice holiday stuff while its here…yummy drinks by fires, movies, friends. I miss that stuff. booo.
figuring out how I work best is hard. I apparently require at least 2 or 3 hours of futzing around warm up time before I can tackle the intended project. Not very efficient, but I am rusty so its ok I guess….
my good:
spending long, late hours in my studio working on gifts. I LOVE LOVE LOVE having that space to shut a door and do my thing! it is such a relief and joy and the time really does fly by even when i’m stressing and feeling crappy about what i’m making.
Shiva Nata! heck yeah! I did it for the first time in several weeks and it felt great. I am excited to get it back in my routine and bring on the epiphanies. Again, the personal space to do this in is such a gift.
I still have ‘it’. In my 2-3 hour futzing I made lots of drawings and was just bursting with ideas for stuff… it is always nice to know my creativity and skills haven’t completely atrophied in these months of not really doing anything.
Hugs and good weekends to all of you! 🙂
@Chris – *blows kiss*
@Laine – oh, don’t worry about it. I have definitely said some pretty crappy things on people’s blogs, usually when I’m tired or frustrated or whatever.
Thanks for the apology, though. That’s really very sweet and I appreciate it.
@ilikered – wheee! Excellent. You’re back in the zone. I love it.
@LaShae – wow, that’s one helluva process. “the lighterness of being” part is really reassuring, and I’m feeling inspired by it, knowing that you were able to get and give acknowledgment and connection.
Sending love to everyone. Happy Friday.
And thank you so much for the reminder that everyone goes through hard, on all sides of different equations.
I think my hard would have been so much easier if I’d gotten even a tiny apology from the people in my life who didn’t or couldn’t do the right thing. And reading your story is helping me understand how hard that is for them too. So thank you for that. I wish I had the magic power to send some self-kindness your way. But definitely sending the love.
Oh wow. A lot of hard here. Sending lots of love. A lot of good here, too. so nice.
Missed last weeks Friday Chicken & was very aware of it. Did the hardest thing which I never ever want to do anymore which is write a sales registration page. Until I can be like Havi and just casually announce (tho you do still write a registration page. Does it get easier?) or like Barbara Sher who also wrote a great, I’m not going to do this anymore manifesto.
The good turns out to be that either I said the right things or didn’t make people run away screaming so my first leading mindfulness with love thing is a go. Happinesses! Feeling totally grateful which led today to feeling totally nauseous. Completely did not see that coming.
Also hard: had a shoe thrown at me by someone on my mailing list. (There does seem to be an especially lot of that going around these days.) The amazingly great beyond all expectation goodness was the love the poured back to me when I wrote to my list and told them about it. I was very painfully scapegoated all through school. To get an abundance of support like this was just indescribable. I wish I could send some back to that child I was and to all who need it.
Love to all of you!
.-= Mahala Mazerov´s last post … Don’t Let Your Heart Freeze =-.
This post has been open on my browser for hours now, but I’m only now getting to chicken… it’s been quite the day. And the week. Glad it’s chicken time!
The hard:
– lots of pain and insanely high fevers for a couple of days
– the pain and fever felt really similar to something that got me admitted to the hospital a few years ago, so they were accompanied by lots of fear
– some other stuff, but it almost seem insignificant compared to the pain, the fevers and the fear
The good:
– slowly getting better, and getting to feel how good it is to feel better after having felt so bad
– the help, support, and infinite patience of my gentleman friend
– the replacement of the door that let water in on Halloween night is done, and I’m really glad to be done with that project
– getting one big piece of good news again this week
– getting three delightful surprises from three different sources
– spending time with my nephews and my niece (even though I was unwell on that day, and lost patience with one of them and am really sad about that)
– Mom told me she wanted to spend a day cooking and baking vegan stuff with me for the holidays – fun!
Now, I hope to fully recover soon, so that I can get ready for the holidays. I’m *so* not ready, but I didn’t have to add that to the hard, because I was just too sick to fret about it! 🙂
.-= Josiane´s last post … Noticing – the dragonfly edition =-.
Oh, there was so much good already, I forgot to write one item in my list! Actually, it could very well go under the “awesome!” header:
– my gentleman friend has sent the manuscript of his latest novel to his publisher! Yay! And the publisher was so happy to see the manuscript coming in that he emailed him saying it was a great Christmas present. Double yay!!!
Ok, I’m done for tonight!
Best wishes for a happy week to all the Chickeners!
.-= Josiane´s last post … Noticing – the dragonfly edition =-.
Happy Hanukkah Havi!!!
So much has happened for me this week it seems like a year – seriously.
The highlight was having dinner with two very good friends and laughing for hours on end. Then, came home – slept great two nights in a row, and woke up literally laughing again.
There was hard stuff too – but when I think of this one particular scene which was so funny that I can’t type it out – I just start laughing hysterically and it’s so fun being me when this happens. I haven’t seen this side of me in a very long time.
Hoping everyone has a great weekend.
xoxo
.-= Char´s last post … Do YOU Wanna Get Out of Your Mind: I DO!! =-.
Havi, thank you for this wonderful idea and for providing a place to us to hang out.
The hard:
– Lots of feelings of inadequacy towards my responsibilities–feeling like I have to be a leader or a manager, and feeling absolutely swamped by details and missions I am only dimly aware of
– Trying to prepare for Christmas with much less money
– Unable to focus on big things because my stats final and two papers to write — I let these three things dominate my viewfinder when maybe they didn’t need to.
– My shoulder still hurting when I go like *this*
– General overwhelm, feelings of “it’s all too much, I’m not big enough”
The good:
+ Saw the doctor about my shoulder
+ Attended my mentor’s dissertation defense and bid her farewell
+ Got a passing grade on stats, and handled the two papers without having to stay up past midnight either night. (I just now see in my email that she’s sent back one of the papers with comments; I’ve decided I have the right to look at the comments when I’m ready, dammit, and it ain’t now before I go to bed)
+ Afternoon naps! My god, is there anything in the world better than a 20-minute afternoon nap??
+ Continuing support of friends and mentors and well-wishers, who see me as bigger than I feel I am.
+ Seeing our local theater comapny’s production of “The Life and Adventures of Nicholas Nickleby.” Saw Part II tonight and it was stunning.
.-= Mike´s last post … Today in History =-.
The hard:
– It is just way too hard to do anything when two small kids are clinging to me like the very breath of life. Which I sort of am, I understand, but sometimes the breath of life needs to pee in peace.
– Twitter has locked me out. I am alarmed. And I am alarmed by my level of alarm. Shouldn’t I be more evolved than to be freaking out over Twitter?
– Christmas. Yeah.
The good:
– I have two healthy and beautiful children who love me very much, even if they will not let me use the bathroom in peace.
– My husband. He is my heart.
– Good-hearted business owners, who are biggified in the best possible way.
– A sewing project that involved no swearing. Who knew it was possible?
.-= Amber´s last post … Ventriloquists are Fun =-.
Chickeneers, O Chickeneers!
Keeping it quick this week. Maybe. You can count me among the brevity-challenged.
Very sorry to hear about all the hard, Havi. I can relate to the wild dash to get things done before the holidays!
Hard:
I didn’t get enough done on my PhD preliminary projects, so the defense has been postponed, with no new date set yet. Extra-hard: feeling misunderstood by my adviser. It hurts.
Good:
Started a new music therapy gig this week! Great clients, good money, an excellent balance of people-time and introvert recovery time. And it’s only three days a week — on my other two work days, aside from two other small contracts, I will have a goodly amount of time for other creative projects. Balances within balances: this new schedule feels healthy and sustainable. Yay!
Good and hard:
Holidays. I celebrate the Winter Solstice, and we’ve opened our home to family and friends who are dropping in and out over the next few days. I love it, but I’m also working hard and feeling drained, when what I really want is to be sitting quietly in beautiful places, resting and dreaming. Somehow, I need to carve out enough space for both!
Ha. So much for brevity. If I weren’t so tired, I’m sure I could go on…and on…
.-= Kathleen Avins @spiralsongkat´s last post … If blogging can be therapy, can it also be triage? =-.
Hey, y’all! (as they say in North Carolina).
Oh, my goodness, the Hard. On the Moh’s Scale of Hardness, this week was pretty much carborundum, with a pair of diamond earrings and a tiara. If I say much more than that, I’ll never stop.
The Good: Looking forward to Mahala’s class. Latkes. Elementary school band concert. Knowing that next week will be better.
.-= Melynda´s last post … Snow. =-.
Myopic Hucksterism totally reminded me of Hypnotic Clambake, which is actually a real band. I don’t know if they’re just one guy though.
The hard:
– Oh, you know, the usual. Migraine. Migraine. Migraine.
The good:
+ I’m off from the day job for two weeks! Yay! Two weeks of dyeing, spinning, knitting, and taking naps whenever I want to!
+ Having a flood of epiphanies lately about things I could do to bring more money into my business so I can eventually quit the day job!
+ I started a sock yarn club and fiber club (http://happyfuzzyyarn.etsy.com) and I’m really excited about it! Money up front will allow me to branch out into some other base yarns and fibers that I haven’t been able to afford yet. Happiness!
+ My sweetie brought over a container full of homemade vegan oatmeal raisin cookies! Yum!
+ I put up my Winter Solstice tree this year for the first time since 2002 (the last few years have found me too depressed to be festive for one reason or another. This year I’m good). It’s so pretty.
.-= Riin´s last post … Happy Fuzzy Yarn Sock Yarn Club and Fiber Club =-.
This week lots of good with just a little hard.
-husband was gone for 3 days straight
-house was a mess from making candy
+made more than 50 boxes of candy and delivered it!
+had a GREAT meeting in downtown
+went out to lunch with girlfriends AWESOME!!!!
+put up Christmas tree
+went to winter Sing-along at my son’s school Holiday spirit galore!!!
+had an epiphany while writing a post on my blog 😉
+signed up to be on Havi’s Kitchen Table!!!!!! *EXCITED* beyond belief!!!
Have a wonderful weekend!! Thanks for the Chicken!!
.-= Pam Belding´s last post … Support part 3 =-.
@Riin I want to know all about Hypnotic Clambake. I think I would like them.
Oh Havi, I’m so glad my little present could bring some good to your bad week! And I hope you’ve had a lovely weekend. 🙂
Hi everyone! It’s my first chicken!
So, yeah. The hard.
I’ve been procrastinating a lot, and finding new stuckness I didn’t even know I had. Will have to go and investigate.
I started getting back on track with my writing. Which is a very good thing, with lots of hard surrounding it. But a step is a step, and I will get better.
I’ve been dealing with lots of offline people, who say things that make no sense to me. I try to smile and be polite, but when you have no clue what’s going on…hard.
The good:
Writing, see above. Good, in measured doses.
Realizing what a strong support group of friends I have online and off.
Making sure my children have a good Christmas…complete!
Watching my four year old “write” a letter to Santa, asking for “something.” And then writing letters to him for all her friends.
Hope everyone’s week goes much better!
~Kimberlee
.-= Kimberlee Ferrell´s last post … Pushing Past Your Writing Anxiety =-.
Chicken! I totally missed it due to sleeping!
The Hard:
Was getting all my assignments done which mean 3am bed times and the like.
Getting a cold which really made me feel like I would prefer death
Starting my new job
The Good:
Getting the assignments done and dusted and handed in on time – yesssss!
Sleeping for ever which meant that when I woke up again the cold symptoms were reduced to nearly nothing. I love sleep.
Starting my new job. It’s going to be fun, I just know it is. And my boss is kinda cute. (she says with a grin)
Holidays – yay. I get a bit of a holiday now.
SNOW. It snowed.
But most of all, I was sat in the doctor’s today discussing Coeliac Disease and he was telling me all about villous atrophy. I was sat there and thinking, “Villous Atrophy huh… It’s just one guy.”
.-= Wormy´s last post … The Turning Point =-.