Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
It’s been kind of a tornado of a week.
I feel a bit stunned, actually.
Hi. Friday.
We’re here. We’re chickening. Let’s do it.
The hard stuff
A lot of hard news.
Actually, it wasn’t even so much the hard news itself as the back and forth between hard news and hopeful news.
Followed by more hard news.
Huge ups and downs. The hards were really, really hard. And then when it wasn’t hard, everything still felt unsteady. Shaken up.
Related body stuff.
All that mental and emotional roller-coastering isn’t good for the rest of me.
Feeling the wear and tear.
Worrying about my gentleman friend.
He has been having a more challenging time with the hard news.
And then even if I don’t get sucked into the anxiety loop, there’s the loop-next-door of wanting him to feel better.
You know what helps with the hard? Yoga.
And Dance of Shiva. And meditation. And rituals.
Wanting more of all of that than what I was getting.
Especially when it was clear that this is the time to be focusing on the stuff that helps.
Can we move onto the good stuff now?
The good stuff
We got the lease for the Playground!
I know!
EXCLAMATION POINTS!
After three long weeks since making the offer — and months since I wished for the Playground here — we got it sorted out.
Two years of happy play in a gorgeous, perfect space.
I cannot wait to get in there and start decorating for you guys.
A beautiful hopeful unexpected moment of pure possibility.
Among all the hard news, there was this one moment of gleefully good news (which now might not be happening).
But in that moment, it was completely hopeful and beautiful. It was a wonderful, shiny day. I am hoping that it will come back again.
And no, this is still related to the kind of tiny, sweet thing that is a concept. I’m not about to have kids and move to Bolivia.
Staying positive despite all the hard news.
I used every technique I have. And got some Hiro magic.
Letting myself be in the hard without being defined by the hard.
And slowly getting to know that thing called “faith” a little better. Good timing for all of that.
Brunch with dear friends!
Yes!
Literal actual brunch where there are fried egg sandwiches and gooey things made with potatoes. Yum.
Proud momma hen.
Sometimes the member mice in my Kitchen Table program just … step up for each other in the most beautiful ways.
We’re repairing the world in there. It’s just so big sometimes.
Makes me cry.
Progress on updating the Shiva Nata site.
Made a bunch more changes that you might not notice.
Also, we now show up as the number two google search result for “Dance of Shiva”.
Which is pretty flipping hard when you’re competing with things like Wikipedia, physicists, and people writing about Indian art …
Nice. Win for the Shivanauts!
Naming my chickens and iguanas.
Chickens are things I’m working on.
While iguanas are things I’m working on that I do not feel like doing.
This week I discovered that if you name them, they go faster.
Not naming them like “Chicken #1”, though that works too. But actual names. People keep telling me this is crazy, and they may be right. But damn, I got a lot of things done this week once I started handing out names.
My chickens this week were Ralph, Snooky, Nitzan and Dee-Dee Shazam. They were awesome.
And then yesterday my iguanas were Sammy, Thumper, Maudie, Sammy Danger and Moonshine Tailbeams Waterloo Jones.
That last one kind of sounds like she used to play for one of our Fake Bands Of The Week.
Speaking of which …
And … playing live at the meme beach house!
Yes, that’s a Stuism too.
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week?
Inflatable Om.
I loved that one album where they do a cover of the Crocodile in a Turban song.
Of course, it’s really just one guy.
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.
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I love “Inflatable Om”. I can see so many possible album covers.
I hear you, about the wiggling between hard and hopeful. Sometimes I wish it were all just hard, just so I wouldn’t have to deal with the uncertainty and rollercoastering. Of course, I’d prefer that it all be hopeful, but part of me is still stuck in “why are you being hopeful? Nothing ever works out right for you.” mode, so I’m not quite ready for all-hopeful yet; I’d spend all my hopeful time looking for the hard.
Do you suppose that giving names to iguanas can also be applied to monsters? My monsters all have names like You’re Never Going To Amount To Anything So Why Bother Monster. I wonder if he’d be easier to relate to as Ted. (It occurs to me that naming monsters that way serves two purposes – it familiarizes us with them (“first-name basis”) and it distances them from our Core Selves; if they were really part of our true heart, they wouldn’t have a different name. Part of us, but separate from Core Us.)
Anyway, ramble off. Have a hopeful Friday and a glorious weekend!
.-= Chris Anthony´s last post … A quick thought on naming; or, how to make sure your ebook gets read =-.
Congratulations on the playground lease, Havi. That is really awesome!
Chicken!
The hard…
– So busy. Mind-numbingly busy. Really feeling the overwhelm.
– Stripping wallpaper for my son’s new house has left me in pain. Sort of a repetitive stress gripping pain. Unfortunately, we’re still not done. Worse: it hurts to use the computer too. Ow, Ow, OW!
– My 102 year old grandpa still doesn’t have a working phone after his move last weekend. Seems like a safety issue to me.
The good…
– Making some progress on all my work.
– Stripping wallpaper with mom has been a lot of fun.
– I seem to be getting enough sleep. Well mostly.
Have a great weekend!
.-= Avonelle Lovhaug´s last post … Your design will never be “perfect” =-.
I can’t believe it’s Friday Ah-gain!
The Hard
+Hard core procrastination. Working on everything except what I want to be working on and of course the associated guilt trip.
+ Feeling the stress and uncertainty of my upcoming relocation to the States
+ Having to pull my underwear down to my knees to be inspected for syphillis lesions for my consulate visa physical. Somebody needs some bedside manner lessons.
+ Gaining 15lbs in the last 6 months
+ A disasterously messy apartment and no desire to clean it
The Good
+ A fun night out with good people
+ Getting an email just when a needed it
+ Walking around in the energy of Montreal
+ Getting my train ticket changed without having to pay the fee
+ Dance classes!
+ And biking again after 2 years!
+ Having lots of me time
+ Remembering how much i love my fiancee
I guess the good outweighs the bad! 200 points :o)
Yay! The lease! The lease! So glad it worked out. And sorry for the hard. For you and for your gentleman friend.
So, the Thunder Chicken this week. Because it’s storming…which seems appropriate today.
Hard:
-My frigging sciatica is back. Not with a vengeance. Just kind of tiptoeing back in. Damnit. I know what I need to do to “cure” it, having had it and cured it four times before. But I am extremely resistant to doing those things right now. Even though I know they will make me feel better. I need to have some talks with my resistance. Need to work on the curing. The yoga and the running (yes, this is the thing that helps…I know it sounds counterintuitive) and the buying-of-new-shoes, which for some reason raises more resistance than anything else. And the losing-15-pounds thing. Argh! Why did I do this to myself? Stoopid chocolate. Stoopid junk food, being all yummy and junky. Stoopid couch, being all comfy. Ugh! OK. Rant off.
-Work. Love-hate relationship with it. Not good for my mental state while I’m there. Or when I’m not.
-Construction. It’s everywhere. It’s on the roads. It’s in the office next door. It’s on our street. And while I’m happy people have jobs, if that guy does not stop hammering directly above me right now, I’m going to put this…um, this orange through the wall. (My weaponry is apparently limited. Good thing.)
Good:
-Husband-person came back from his month-long gig. It’s been lovely to have him home. Mostly. Somehow, the long absence gave me a clearer view of whose stuff belonged to whom. Now he can be a poopypants without hurting my feelings as much. Nice.
-Yarny goodness. From Tara and others. Need I say more? The Knitting Addiction grows like the Virginia creeper that is threatening (once again) to take over our house. Only not in such a creepy creeper way.
-Poems. The writing of them. The writing of them at stoplights while stuck in construction traffic. Not bad.
-Seeing (and photographing) this line by Nick Cave in action: “Darling little dandelions, done their thing
They’ve changed from suns into moons.”
-Thunderstorms. Love them. We have one. Right. Now.
.-= Emily´s last post … Creative Every Day, Part 17 – That Was Never a Week Just Now =-.
Many hugs to you for the hard. Roller-coasters are so scary.
And tasty mixed drinks with curly straws for the good! Hooray!
This week in Kailand~
The Hard:
~Yucky sleep. I even woke up at 4am one day because the cold air the fan was blowing onto the top of my head had given me a huge migraine. Uck.
~Experiencing a new type of pain related to my stuff. A trigger that made me remember a happy?ish time. Which apparently made me very sad. And also flustered because it wasn’t the same unhappy/abusive/horrible things I’ve just finally learned to cope with a bit better. Man, that was hard.
~Trying to learn some new habits. And not doing so good at it.
~Starting to build my itty-bitty baby thing a home on the internet.
~Arguing with one of my monsters about a painting we made.
The Good:
~I was able to purchase the Monster Coloring Book! YAY! It’s been amazing.
~And Shiva Nata – MORE YAY! My DVD just arrived yesterday. Today will be my first time. /excitedexcitedexcited
~Working with one of my monsters to complete some stuff for my itty-bitty baby thing.
~Getting to paint for the first time in a long time. Making a legitimate mess AND having fun? Totally good.
Happy Chickening, one and all!
Oh, hello Friday. Last week I was not sure you were going to make it, but you did!
The hard and the good are sort of all lumped together for me right now (well, the migraine and exhaustion are just hard, but those will get better soon).
Tomorrow is my graduation ceremony. I’m technically not graduated yet– I have a paper to edit still– but yes. I walk, I get hooded, they’ll mail me my diploma sometime in August. On the one hand, I am so happy that this experience is basically over; on the other hand, I am completely terrified about what’s up next.
So, yay and yikes! But it will be fine.
…and I am going back to bed. Happy Friday everybody.
Hugs for the roller coaster, and another big yeehaw for the lease 🙂
It was the hard of weeks, it was the good of weeks.
Hard:
Freak out when I sat down on Monday and made a schedule so that I actually have regular studio time each weekday. Just seeing the schedule on paper sent me into a tizzy. Not having my coffee shop date there to talk it through with/for him to talk me down, and everyone else was in class.
Good:
Remembered Twitter and DM’d Emily, who reminded me of Emergency Calming Techniques. Found file on laptop and applied them. Calmed enough to remember Monster Coloring Book, and named the monster (well, realized who the monster was, but I think names can’t be far behind now). Got that page/section out, read and colored. Told the monster things were different this time. It worked!
Hard:
Brain got on an obsessive thought do-loop while in the studio on Tuesday. Could not settle down to work at hand.
Good:
An hour of hard yoga, using the customizable matrix to do the lunar meditation and water/earth vinyasas. Since it was new (I usually do solar and earth/fire) I had to really be present. Mischief managed.
Hard:
Clothes falling apart, not finding new ones easily (maybe this can be a VPA on Sunday). Skin not fitting. Job interview fell through on Wednesday. Personal stuff with local friend. Meltdown Wednesday night.
Good:
Cleaning of kitchen to channel meltdown energy. Felt much better.
Good:
Monster Coloring book to the rescue yesterday with the “Hair on fire!” monster.
Good:
The rains over the weekend didn’t result in flooding here. The weather has been beautiful ever since.
Good:
I finally got to smell some lilacs in situ 🙂
Good:
Shiva Nata to the Charlie’s Angels soundtrack.
Good:
Friday Chicken with y’all. Much love!
.-= Andi´s last post … You Gotta Give A Little =-.
Chicken! I can’t stop being happy for the Playground.
The hard:
– The Thesis. It is still not done.
– In serious need of better self-care. Think sleep, healthy foods, social contact, exercise. A hug would be nice as well.
– Only 10 more weeks until unemployment.
The good:
– Going traveling tomorrow for work, then fun. 10 days in the sun away from the Thesis of Doom guarded by Iguanas in serious looking uniforms.
– The reason why the deadline for the thesis was cast in concrete has vanished.
– Only 10 more weeks until long summer refueling break (unemployment).
– Progress on the job hunt: it seems I’m more prey than hunter. Does wonderful things for self esteem and keeps me out of the worry cave. At least for this part of life.
Wishing all Chickeneers a wonderful week to come.
The hard:
– My knee hurts. In a weird way that has never happened before. I’m trying to rehabilitate it.
– Since I’m staying off of it a lot, I’m not getting the exercise I usually get. Lethargy and sloth ensue.
The good:
– We bought our tickets to Dublin! It’s set in stone.
– V’s parents are here, despite the oil spill. I hope they enjoy the beach.
– I have come up with some really cool goals. I think they need to get more specific before I can make them real. But they’re getting there.
And Havi, you get a megawink for being so cool!
.-= Eric Normand´s last post … Coolness envy and everyday awesomeness =-.
*Hugs* for everyone’s hard this week, and big yays for the good, especially the beautiful Playground Lease! 🙂
Hard this week:
Seeing people I love struggle.
Good this week:
Days of breathtakingly beautiful spring weather. Warmth, soaring skies, feather talismans dropped at my feet by eagle friends.
Dinner and a lovely long visit with my son last night. Seeing in him all the ages he’s ever been, the beautiful man he is now, the man he is becoming. Brimming heart.
Playing and healing with Havi through the hard and the good.
Ganesh on my desk, blessing this week with faith and unreasonable joy.
Love, Hiro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Money, Heart and Soul: An Interview with Mark Silver =-.
Inflatable Om.
Awesome.
Playground lease.
Quadruple Awesome.
Reading everyone else’s chickens.
Priceless.
The Hard: very hard and hurty, saying good bye to an old four footed friend. Not being able to fix it for the very upset spouse type person. Not being able to focus and do work. Unexpected expense. A client that won’t answer emails about delays because of the unfocused-ness. And just… sad.
The Good: The spouse-type is dealing with the Hard and Hurty in a healthy way, which is a new and very good thing.
And!! The Circus may actually become a something!
And!!! I may have a potential partner for this endeavor, which I desperately need, because a one deer circus is too much hard. Even when you have antlers. (I know that makes no sense to most of you, but still!!)
I also may have solved the funding problem!!! ZOMG!!
I’m so, so excited that I need to run buy more exclamation points, because I’m nearly out. Cluck, Cluck, Cluckity Cluck!!
I think I’ll go mellow out to the latest Inflatable Om album now. It’s great stuff. And did you know it’s just one guy?!!!
.-= Tori Deaux´s last post … A Trip To The Circus, Courtesy of Mighty Metaphor Mouse! =-.
Inflatable Om is just…too extraordinary for words.
Good energy to everyone’s Hards and Goods this week. I’m glad I got to read them.
The Hard:
-Still wrestling with the concept of time and feelings of not having enough.
-Shiva practice got lost this week.
-Lady friend having a rough time. Our grumpinesses were interacting in the mornings.
The Good:
-Finding time in unexpected places, and making it count.
-This morning I took a huge step toward being seen. It feels like literally stepping out of the closet. Today could be my coming out party! And it’s just the sort of coming out I always wanted. With people seeing me and recognizing that this is hard and brave and throwing confetti my way. And I’m throwing confetti on them, too. Queer, rainbowey confetti. It’s awesome.
-Some of the pressure is easing. It feels like just the time for productive celebration.
A glorious weekend to all.
.-= Kylie´s last post … the real me, singing for you =-.
Friday Chicken! A big YAY for everyone’s good, and a big BOO for everyone’s hard!
I had an art show over the weekend. Good and hard all rolled into one. But I recovered afterward really quickly. Usually it takes several days, but not this time. Yay!
I worked hard this week, but it was good.
Happy weekend everyone!
.-= Barbara J Carter´s last post … New Painting: “Sun in Trees 1? =-.
@Barbara – hooray for recovery. And all your shows. It is so much fun watching you biggify.
@Kylie – whoo! Yay for your thing! And your gorgeous photographs. And your beautiful post. And telling people. Queer rainbowey confetti parade! I love all of it.
@Tori – wow wow wow. Hugely exciting! CIRCUS! Storm it up.
@Hiro – kiss
@Eric – sorry about the knee. That’s no fun. And yes for Dublin. You will LOVE it. Megawink back.
@inge – 10 days in the sun! So glad for you.
@Andi – wow what a week. Glad the monsters are listening to you. And now I want to do Shiva Nata to Charlie’s Angels soundtrack too.
@Beth – you did it! Bed well earned. Sweet dreams.
@Kai – you’re on the twitters! Three cheers for legitimate mess. And sorry about all the hard.
@Emily – love for the Thunder Chicken. That’s a lot to deal with. Hug.
@lisa – yuck for the hard. And 200 points!
@Avonelle – oh, ow. Ow!
@Chris – What a beautiful insight. And a perfect way to put it.
–> I wonder if he’d be easier to relate to as Ted. (It occurs to me that naming monsters that way serves two purposes – it familiarizes us with them (“first-name basis”) and it distances them from our Core Selves; if they were really part of our true heart, they wouldn’t have a different name. Part of us, but separate from Core Us.)
Yeah. Absolutely. I would love to know what happens when you name your monsters. 🙂
Woot!
After reading the names of your chickens and iguanas, please tell me you have read Carl Sandburg’s Rootabaga Stories and More Rootabaga Stories. If not, then you have clearly eaten his brain. Which is fine, it’s obviously being put to good use 🙂
I am so very sorry to hear about all the hard news! Sending love and comfort to you and your gentleman friend.
Hard:
-Feeling tons of anger on Monday. Angry because my family came half an hour late to my choral concert — and it wasn’t unavoidable circumstances, they just kinda flaked. Angry at my sweetie for scolding me over something that was none of his business, dammit, even if it were ever okay to scold me, dammit. Angry at my daughter for tweenage snarkiness.
-Acute awareness that my child is slowly but surely growing up, and that someday the little girl and her little-girl hugs and cuddles will be gone forever. Yes, I know that’s the way it’s supposed to happen, but acute grief nonetheless.
-Dealing with some iguanas at my nursing home gig, and struggling with an inner monster who’s all in favor of just hiding in the cave and hibernating. Or, wait, maybe that’s me.
-Elder Cat has been having health problems again/still, and yesterday morning he wandered off and hasn’t been seen since. Is this goodbye? I don’t know. He’s been so miserable lately, I don’t even know what to hope for.
Good:
+Wonderful performances of the Brahms Requiem for two consecutive evenings last weekend. Plus, little snatches of the music have been following me around all week, and it’s been good company.
+Getting closer to having my dissertation topic settled, and beginning to get excited about it.
+A weekly food shopping trip that was decidedly un-cranky, but was cheerful and companionable.
+Daughter’s choral concert went well. She had a solo, and it sounded great!
+Writing, and loving it.
+Feeling like a “real” doctoral student again, now that I’ve passed the prelims and am digging into the dissertation. Takes some real getting used to, but I think I like it!
Wishing splendiferous weekends to all!
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … Liberation =-.
Yay for The Playground! Another excuse to drink champagne (like it takes much).
The hard:
-PMS taking the rollercoastering to a whole new level. Stop the world, I want to get off!
-The panic resulting in looking at my bank balance
-Bees living in my chiminey and invading the house.
The good:
-A perspective shift that truly let me get how I am a spiritual being on a human journey, not the other way around.
-The little things, like springtime, hot tubs, veggie sandwiches, soy chai lattes.
-Meeting all of my workout goals.
p.s. @Andi: “mischief managed” indeed! Any HP references make me smile, thanks.
.-= Christine Myers´s last post … My Body is the Vatican =-.
Cheers for the good and Hugs for the hard.
Chicken!
The hard:
Something is wrong with the pup and it does not seem good. It doesn’t even matter if I avoid Google, because I seem to remember everything I’ve ever looked up. What fun that is. And paying a large vet bill yesterday reminded me of the only thing that really worried me about giving up my job – large vet bills and no regular paycheck.
Every other night of no sleep.
The gremlins that tell me that I am not cut out for this self-employment thing are back for a visit.
The good:
I am surprisingly calm in all of this, except for when I cannot sleep.
I do have savings, so I don’t need to worry about vet bills for a while, it’s just that I didn’t actually want to run through them quickly.
I am sleeping every other night. Hee.
Lots of rest and self-care this week, which I suspect is why I am so calm.
The Arboretum in spring.
I think I have almost gotten the verticals. The 3/1 and 4/1 are my sticky points (and apparently when practicing on my own I had them remembered wrong) but I am almost there. Hurrah.
.-= Elizabeth´s last post … rockin’ robin =-.
I adore the idea of naming the iguanas and chickens and monsters. Seems like it would make them all so much easier to deal with. I’ve decided that I need a name for getting up and out and moving around that is not “exercise” or “working out” or anything even remotely like that.
This week’s hard:
– The strained hip thingy was healing, and then I slipped earlier this week and pulled it again. There’s been a lot of really annoying pain around this for a couple of weeks now, and there’s nothing that can fix it but time.
– With graduation season upon us, I’m feeling really bad that I wasn’t able to help my nephew more and wasn’t able to better show him how difficult it’s going to be without a diploma. I worry for him.
This week’s good:
– An awesome massage yesterday in which she worked some kind of miracle on my hip so it feels much better and attacked the ever-present knots in my shoulders. She’s a genius.
– Managed to get ahead on a project, so I’m able to take this afternoon easy.
– I was feeling adventurous at the salon yesterday and got my hair cut pretty short for me — and I love it!
.-= Lori Paximadis´s last post … Ah, Friday! =-.
So sorry for all the hard, and the unsteadiness, and the worrying about your gentleman friend. Big hugs to both of you.
The hard:
– worrying about my gentleman friend; he wasn’t feeling well, and I would have liked to be able to make things better even though there wasn’t much I could do, really. Also, if one of us is a freaking mess and/or sick, it’s usually me (ha, I almost added “dammit!”), so I was feeling helpless and kind of confused.
The good:
– making pretzels! Pretzels!
– feeling good
– being really excited about my new Thing
– jumping up and down every time I’m thinking about my visit to the Playground next month. Playground!
🙂
.-= Josiane´s last post … Middle of the night musings =-.
Friday already? *yawn* Did I sleep through a few days or something…
The hard:
– the tired. *yawn* the tired and the not sleep properly. *yawn*
The good:
– wonderful girlie chatty night involving wine, hummus and cat (to cuddle, not eat!)
– seeing an article I wrote published, and getting really positive feedback on it. To think I’d procrastinated emailing it for days throught complete fail.
– going on a date. as a potential boyfriend meeting it was a complete fail but as a getting out there thing – good.
– much better atmospher at work
– feeling some shiva nata flow and phifanies
– writing
– getting some ideas for my blog
Hooray for the Playground lease!!!!!
The Hard:
– way too much drama in my doctoral program. Fortunately my group worked well together, but others did not and there was lots of tension in the classroom last weekend.
– way too much drama at work with the office assistants.
– a to-do list that just refuses to get any shorter no matter how hard I work
– internal plumbing problem continues 🙁
– lack of consistent student worker availability over the next few weeks is cause much anxiety about coverage.
– the out of control in-box
The Good:
+ Completed all the hiring paperwork and initial orientation for the summer adjunct! She is also a cat person and shares my wacky sense of humor!
+ Only one more week left in the semester!
+ Only one more week left in the doctoral class from hell!
+ Finalizing my dissertation committee!
+ Having a sub-group of my doctoral cohort that I truly respect
+ Money left in the budget! Thought I had overspent by several hundred dollars this time last week. Bizarre accounting system!
This may well be my first and last chicken this month as I am off travelling on Monday (which of course is part of the good). I will miss you guys and the chicken but it will also be good to have some time with very limited internet access.
The hard:
– Having a “So aren’t you ever gonna have kids” shoe thrown at me which triggered a whole lot of “oh my God, I will be 40 and maybe it is a big mistake not to have kids” anxiety.
– Acoustic pollution. Every train or public transport I was one this week I found myself next to or near someone listening to incredibly loud and horrible music that was blasting through his or her earphones. I want a magic “turn down other people’s ipod volume” wand.
– Stressing myself about stuff I need to get done before I am off.
The good:
– My brother and I had an idea for a tiny sweet thing. If it ever happens it will still be a long time til its birth but it was uplifting idea for both of us.
– A long walk with my aunt, beautiful clear and blues skies, the sea, woods, fields, a magic combination.
– Quality time with family.
– Successful connector mouse activities.
– Buying presents for frieds I will visit.
Major WOOHOOO for the Playground!! Folks as far away as Oztraylya have been rooting for you on that one, Havi. Happy, happy, happy :^D It’d crack a beer but it’s only 6:24am here.
As the web is my witness, this will be my last comment as an observer of the Friday Chickin. Next week I plan to be brave and become a Chickiner!
.-= Meg´s last post … Pills, Pulp Fiction and Planetary Push =-.
the hard:
jet lag
my dad shaved his beard! without telling anyone! and i, in all my 32 years of living, have NEVER seen him without it. i feel kind of…betrayed. is this weird?
i was a raving lunatic bitch to my 1st period today. i hate taking out my mood on my students.
trying to be in the hard without being defined by the hard (such a perfect way to put it, havi) is, well, hard.
and bad news on the job front. bad news and no real option i can see for any change. i dislike the idea of sucking it up, but i may have to.
the good:
had my first epiphany from shiva nata in quite sometime! it was like having an old friend walk through the door, and this one involved patient questions who own their space. oh, and apparently, my inner drag queen thinks that all the internal/ energy space clearing from acupuncture is just fabulous and is loving all the room to swan about it.
and, when all else fails: it is shabbat. i have a pint of coconut ice cream, a glass of wine, and a full day of peace and quiet ahead.
YAY for the Playground! Congratulations!
(Now I have an excuse for the margarita I’m heading out to drink.)
Sorry for the ups & downs, Havi. Hugs to you and your Gentleman friend.
Similar ups & downs here.
The Hard:
–leaving part-time work; having to have multiple discussions about what’s not working, etc.
–depression. not debilitating. but not wanting to go to bed because I don’t want that feeling in the morning depression.
The Good:
–My Swami is back! Beautiful teaching and meditation on Wednesday.
–Pleasant reconnection with man who was previously my gentleman friend
–leaving part-time work! to spend time and energy on my Thing and my clients!
–a referral and two requests for strategy sessions from potential clients
.-= Rebecca Prien´s last post … Why is Law Stuff so Scary (and Distasteful) for the Creative? =-.
congrats on the lease!
the hard:
boss lied to me about his leaving. why not just not talk about it until it’s announced?
high stakes testing.
allergies.
the good:
boss is leaving.
looking forward to establishing a new relationship and patterns with new boss.
students took the tests seriously and i’m feeling like a very proud teacher.
taught a restorative teacher yoga class last weekend – such.amazing.feedback.
teacher appreciation week.
pajama day.
purchased plane tix for summer trip.
outdoor walking despite allergies.
massage.
.-= Tami´s last post … Song of the Day! =-.
Yay for the Playground! I absolutely adore the name of your first course, too. 🙂 Hugs for all the hard. What a challenging week!
Hard:
– I haven’t been on a schedule in a month and it’s hard-hard-hard to go to bed on time and get up in the mornings. And beating myself up about it because, hey, I’m a grown-up and I should be able to do this already!
– I’m relieved to be employed (with benefits – yay!), but my new job came with a 25% pay cut, so I’m stressing out about money and trying to figure out how to work a second job without being away from home because my dogs need their playtime and mommy-time.
– Wanting to be committed to exercising daily and not accomplishing that. So disappointed.
– Meeting new people at work and learning about our systems and processes. Some of the processes don’t make sense to me and meeting new people sucks the life right out of me. So exhausted when I got home every day. Sometimes it really sucks to be an introvert.
– Having writing ideas galore and having no energy to follow through on them.
– Having trouble sleeping. Again. And forgetting that I have a relaxation CD that usually does the trick.
Good:
– This was the first full week of my new job. Yay! My dog-friends have practically bankrupted me with vet bills this year and I had no funds for a protracted job search, so I’m quite relieved to have found a new job so quickly (three weeks!).
– Meeting new, interesting people at work and learning about our systems and processes. I seem to be working with very nice, talented folks.
– Starting a new cross-stitch project. I’ve been away from it for so, so long and I’d been longing to reconnect. It’s like meditation and creating art and therapy all at the same time for me. This is a direct result of being unemployed and not having any extra money to buy my friend a birthday present, so I embroidered some pillowcases for her…and, oh! Such magic! I had to dive right into the next project.
– Many writing ideas coming to me – woo!
– We got off work early today and when I got home, I told the girls I needed a nap – and they let me take one. My precious fur-babies, how I love them!
.-= Sherron´s last post … May I introduce Her Majesty, Katherine the Great! =-.
The Dance of Shiva intrigues me. I must learn more, I think.
.-= Graveyard Greg´s last post … Dungeons & Denizens =-.
Yes, chicken. And then some pie.
The hard.
– The not creaming and resulting blossoming.
– The running against brick walls with my technology issues
– The monies. Where did they go?
– The waiting at work for things to change.
– The not working on Saturday despite all best intentions.
The good.
– Feeling that my assignment is nearly done
– Waking up inspired on a Saturday
– Winning best evaluator. And competing in The Hague.
– Spontaneously signing up for a cool conference in October
– I have a bed! And the evening sun right next to it.
Yay for the lease!
Not so much yay for the ups and downs . . .that’s rough. I have a hard time being patient there as well, always wanting to just say “forget about it!” so I can stop exposing myself to possible dissapointment.
Quick chicken. . .
The hard:
– After having got back from being out of town and moving back into my apartment which still is not fixed (smelly carpet, yum) there is way too much work to be done
– Running around and running around and running around and still not getting everything done – “urgency” monster is not being friendly right now . . .need to re-read coloring book!
– Doing a lot to also help other people feel comfortable and happy and those people not really getting how much effort it took
– My entire city is filled with construction sounds and ambulance/police car sirens . . .all the time
The good:
– I got a big project started which required a lot of people and a lot of organization and will result in monies!
– Tuesday read a wonderful book front to back in one night. Really enjoyable. Total guilty pleasure.
– I’m back in my apartment (aka kingdom)! There’s food in my fridge. There’s sunlight and flowers!
– The internet/cable people came a week early and hooked everything back up!
Happy weekend chickeneers!
Havi,Yay yay yay for the lease! And boo for the seasickness of the ups and downs. But yay for not letting the hard define you.
The Hard:
– Migraine while traveling
– Continuous girly health issues that seem to be running me like I’m 59 instead of 40
– Exhaustion from both of these
– Catch up at work after being gone for 3 days, which always feels like punishment
– My husband does not get that sometimes I just need information. Data. Facts. Like when he will be home so I can plan my own stuff. And that my seeking information does not involve judging him or impatience on my end.
The Good:
+ Girls day with my daughter. Mani/pedi, lunch, pottery painting yay!
+ My kiddo got a coveted spot in her district’s highly gifted program for next year, which I believe will not only solve a lot of issues that happened this year, but also sets the stage for the amazing public education she deserves to get.
+ An honest convo with my boss about my level of stress and why (and how) I’m saying no right now. And her support of my saying no.
+ Meeting the Little Red Monster, who it turns out is the 3 year old me, Lynniepoo.And through some deep PSYCH-K work, giving her lots of hugs and making her feel safe.
+ Redefining the word “forgive” so that my monsters will play along. Now it means “release myself from the need to suffer and take any action to make right” any and all wrongs done to me.
Happy Mothers Day to all of you who are mothers in any way.
.-= lynn @ human, being´s last post … What’s up =-.
Eeek! I missed Friday. well, I completely forgot it was friday… So I guess this is Saturday Chickens for me. 😛
The Hard –
* Old Lady Cat in hospice care here at home. Thyroid, kidneys gone. Very hard, very sad. Is the EO’s cat, and he’s not taking it well. Used to be the Godson’s rival, and Godson not taking it well either. And I’m the one at home with her all day, watching her ups and downs. She has good days and bad days, and we’re doing all we can to keep her comfortable.
*The EO very busy at work these days, and having difficult time with losing his cat. Hard combination.
*Due to all the hard, we were down to one car all week while we waited for the registration renewal to get mailed to us… which leads me to:
*I had to go get blood taken on Wednesday. Forgot that I was going to have to go have it done TWICE that day – once in the morning and once in the afternoon, and the closest lab is almost an hour away from our house. Luckily heart-sister was willing and able to drive me. Both times.
The Good – and there was some.
*Heart Sister has a car and a drivers license now, and is happily repaying me for all the years of me doing all the driving. 🙂
*Looks like the house that heart-sister and fiance want to buy is actually going to go through and close this time. Happy for them. Lots of space for home offices and teenage boy.
*Wonderful coaching meeting that actually made me think I AM going in a direction that I can acheive… With ideas on how to proceed.
*Design Book almost finished! I almost cannot believe this. I have been a technical writer for a long time, and written many books for other companies, but this is the first one of MY OWN babies that I will have managed to complete… woohoo!
.-= Romilly´s last post … My not-quite-a-UFO pile – Pockets =-.
Oops. brain still a little fuzzy from all the stuff this week…
so @Havi:
Yay for lease! Yay for Playground! Ick for hard.
I LOVE Inflatable Om, especially their album, Swimming Pool Yoga… 😀 (Wonderful band name…)
@Chris — I think I may try naming my monsters that way… it seems like a great way to distance them from me.
You guys always rock.
.-= Romilly´s last post … My not-quite-a-UFO pile – Pockets =-.
*HUGS* for Havi and all us chickeneers!
My hard stuff:
Depressed depressed depressed all week.
Bad conversation with the Mothership on Monday pretty much nailed me for the whole week. And I feel like…she had the nails, but I had the hammer, and boy did I spend the week hammering at those nails. Ouch.
Finally motivated myself to get out of my cave and do constructive things on Friday…only to find my car was broken and I couldn’t drive anywhere. Within the next few hours I had also pulled my shoulder, locked myself out of the apartment, and fallen down on the sidewalk bruising all my body parts.
It’s been awfully cold in my apartment since the heat doesn’t come back on now that it’s spring.
A conversation that I had been nervous about for weeks, because I was afraid it was going to end up being a conversation about money instead of a conversation about spiritual purpose. It was pretty well disguised, I think, but I’m afraid it was indeed a conversation about money and that gives me serious doubt about how to go back in the spiritual purpose direction.
I pushed myself to go to yoga class this week, even though I was depressed, thinking this would help me feel better, but I couldn’t seem to release enough negativity to really get there, and doing yoga in negative energy is like cooking vegetables in the toilet bowl.
One of the Tarot circles I regularly participate may end up disbanding.
I put the wrong batteries in a battery charger earlier this week. THEY EXPLODED. The battery charger was sitting literally two inches from where my face would have been if I had been asleep, which by all accounts I should have been since it was 5am when it happened. It was the scariest thing that has happened to me in a long time.
I didn’t set a goal for getting exercise this week, and of course that meant I didn’t meet the goal I would have set if I had set one. And I guilt-tripped myself about it several times.
I have some “friends” that are being “jerks” to me. Not cool.
It’s Mother’s Day and I miss my grandma. This is my first Mother’s Day since she died. My mom and I don’t always get along really well, but we were both really close with my grandma/her mom, and it’s been really hard for both of us to not have her in our lives (both because she had Alzheimers the last 12+ years and because she’s now dead).
Glee was really disappointing this week. Boooo.
My good stuff:
It’s been sunny out.
I hung out with a friend today, and she took me to get groceries, which was extremely helpful since my car is broken.
I have more money in my bank account than I expected I would have this week.
I made up a new word. My word is “foolafaap”. It’s actually an acronym. “family of origin, living as far away as possible”. I will now be referring to my foolafaap as such, henceforth. It makes me giggle.
In my other Tarot circle, I got a great reading partner this week! I think we may continue reading together for a while. It’s soooo awesome to have that ZING!! connection with a stranger on the internet with the Tarot cards.
I’ve been messing around with some new food stuff. It’s tasty. Not maybe the healthiest, but tasty.
I am going to Seattle in 12 days! Vacation!!
.-= Oliver Danni´s last post … choirqueer: Q for cis men & women: Do ppl ever assume you are an expert on all things regarding your gender just because you happen to be that gender? =-.
@Oliver – foolafaap! foolafaap! foolafaap! I am TAKING that and using it forever. Love it. I also like the way it looks the tiniest bit like Afrikaans. My foolafaap had to be dealt with today because of the whole mother’s day day. But I wore my tiara and it went well. Foolafaap!
I was thinking Afrikaans too when I came up with it! I like that it starts with “fool”. That’s the best part. You and anyone else who want to use it are welcome to. I just got off the phone with the mothership of my foolafaap. She made me feel like foolacrap. But now I’m fullatastynoodles, so I feel better-ish.
.-= Oliver Danni´s last post … choirqueer: Q for cis men & women: Do ppl ever assume you are an expert on all things regarding your gender just because you happen to be that gender? =-.
@Oliver – fullatastynoodles = yay
@Katya – I am regretting having to say that I have never heard of Carl Sandburg’s Rootabaga Stories and More Rootabaga Stories. But now that I have, I MUST KNOW. Going to look that up. Because it sounds fantastic.
Yay. Thank you!
By request of a Canadian friend I have created the related verb form “foocbumaatta” (family of origin can’t be up my ass all the time, eh?!), used to refer to keeping the foolafaap…afaap.
.-= Oliver Danni´s last post … choirqueer: Q for cis men & women: Do ppl ever assume you are an expert on all things regarding your gender just because you happen to be that gender? =-.