So I started this blog a year and a half ago. With a post called I has a blog.
Since then there have been four hundred and thirty posts, if you include this one.
And close to ten thousand comments.
It’s weird, I know.
I don’t know what’s up with that last number, but I can definitely explain about the four hundred and thirty posts thing.
For starters, there are a lot of Chickens in there. And really, it’s not so much that I’m crazy prolific as just crazy.
And also because I treat blogging as therapy that I don’t have to pay for.
And because I do a lot of shiva spirals, which deliver epiphanies, often (for me) in the form of information that wants to be written down.
Anyway. That’s not the point.
The point is this:
I need some help choosing posts to recommend to people.
I have this stupid “greatest hits” thing in the sidebar.
Which was put up forever ago (in bloggishness, not in the grand scheme of things) before there really were any hits, greatest or otherwise.
Even if we assume that eventually I will come up with a name less annoying than “greatest hits”, it would still be nice to have a way to point people to some Useful Stuff.
The idea being that it that might give them a better sense of what we do around here. Stuff that isn’t in the FAQ or the Glossary.
Things that are not helping me decide.
Criteria? Hell if I know.
Because I don’t think number of comments should necessarily be relevant.
It might be a measure of something but I’m still not sure what.
I mean, there are a hundred comments on this post about hangers. There are a lot of comments when I piss people off by saying things like this.
And sometimes a specific post will get twenty thousand page views in a day. Like when I talked about what inspires me to buy art.
And about a year ago when I was trying to get people to stop hiring me, I put together a page of biggification-related posts to read on a page called no, seriously, don’t hire me.
Or my duck has a cult following of her own, so yeah, people also obsess over the posts that have pictures of her.
But again, these aren’t necessarily the posts that I care about. Or the ones that are infused with the essence of Havi-ness. Or the ones that really get to the core of the stuff we do here.
So here’s what I want.
Some of your favorites.
Because I know for a fact that there are a lot of you out there who have spent weeks obsessively stalking my archives (and yes, I love how dirty “in my archives” sounds).
And even if you haven’t. If there is a post that did something for you — a good something, yes? — that would be helpful for me.
My commitment:
I will be ridiculously appreciative of the suggestions my people come up with.
I will come up with a list of some of my own personal favorites that no one ever reads.
In the meantime I will leave you with how The Fluent Self got started, a story about scissors that helped me realize that I actually am a writer, kind of … and how this blog is totally not an overnight success even if that’s what it looks like from the outside.
And a few words about regrets.
My ask.
Otherwise known as? Comment Zen for the day.
Given that this is a place where we work on our stuff, acknowledge our stuff, give ourselves permission to have it to begin with … things definitely come up that can be awkward and trigger-ey.
So. We’re patient with each other (okay, fine, with ourselves), when we can stand it. We generally try to recognize that our stuff is our stuff. We don’t throw shoes.
Mensch-like: it’s our thing.
And if you have an idea for a less-dorky way to list these than “greatest hits”, I will adore you forever.
Follow
one of my favourites…
Self-Mastery is a Big Ol’ Waste of Time
http://fluentself.com//blog/newsletter/forget-self-mastery/
.-= Christine Bougie´s last post … Best Of ‘09: word or phrase =-.
Favorite post? This one: http://fluentself.com//blog/not-hating-on-yourself/what-you-do-when-you-feel-like-dirt/
that one that one that one. I bookmarked it on delicious because I need to read it sometimes but wouldn’t look for it…it’s just like, I’ll be feeling really down or something and come to your blog and feel like I want to read something I know I love, and then I go to my bookmarks and click on “havi” and it’s the one thing I’ve bookmarked that’s actually a post. And it’s the thing I was looking for, even when I didn’t remember what I was looking for.
How about:
Blog Highlights
Best of the Blog
Blog Favorites
Most Helpful Posts
Some of the posts I found particularly relevant were the one about thrown shoes, and the one about how you don’t have to leap. Also the one where you talk about how being yourself is the best way to attract your Right People. (Or was that more than one? Sorry, they do run together a bit.)
.-= Barbara J Carter´s last post … Is Art a Good Christmas Present? =-.
I found the Blogging Therapy series immensely helpful. And the Twitter one (do not know if I ever would have joined Twitter had I not read that). But I know I have other favorites – will have to look this evening.
By the way, I happen to like Greatest Hits, just because it reminds of music. And I love music.
.-= elizabeth´s last post … look at me =-.
My favourites involve anything to do with Sovereignty or dealing with shoe throwing and your conversations with blocks.
To me that’s the essence of you – not hating on yourself, being gentle and prepared to interact with your stuff and allowing yourself to be yourself and knowing that that is cool.
But one favourite? Sorry – not possible. There are too many jewels.
.-= Wormy´s last post … ‘Tis the season…. for assignments =-.
Hmmm… As someone who has been known to stalk about *in your archives*…
~ The blogging therapy ones. Meant I set up my (new) blog which is changing my life, materially…
~ The (two?) twitter ones (totally got my Twitter shit together after that one).
~ If you want people to get a flavour of what it’s like here, I think one or two of the talking to monsters/stucknesses ones would really work.
~ I also love Selma’s story, and one (?) where you talk about working in Tel Aviv and not knowing if your bar was going to get blown up.
Greatest hits replacements suggestions that will hopefully spark some ideas for others that will actually be useable:
~ Now That’s What I Call Havi
~ What’s it like here?
~ A Taste of Havi
~ You know you want it
~ Fluent Self Roulette/Pick and Mix/Apple-bobbing/Sampler/Yummies/Morsels
x
.-= Andrew Lightheart @alightheart´s last post … How to be less grumpy =-.
I always re-read this one when I have too many projects to do, and feel unable to focus:
http://fluentself.com//blog/mindful-time-management/doing-just-one-thing/
The dammit list is also fantastic for me to set priorities:
http://fluentself.com//blog/stuff/more-ways-to-use-the-dammit-list/
And I also like your talk about Right People and red velvet ropes . . . it’s done in such a way to earn respect rather than to exclude.
http://fluentself.com//blog/biggification/re-explaining-right-people/
http://fluentself.com//blog/biggification/red-velvet-ropes-in-all-the-right-places/
So I guess to sum up, it’s the posts that help me focus my work, to choose the Right People to be with and the Right Things to do, which really help me out. Hope this helps.
.-= Elizabeth Howell´s last post … Get pampered in the driver’s seat =-.
Havi Highlights! (though that sounds like you’ve just had a significant hair day…)
I agree with above comments about shoes, sovereignity, Right People, and talking to monsters.
Just read the Canopy of Peace post.
I think one of the things I admire most in your writing is that you can *so* bring a space with your writing.
I come here for the space, the energy, the silent sweet sound of what’s behind your words.
So, thanks.
.-= Andrew Lightheart @alightheart´s last post … How to be less grumpy =-.
The maybe even more dorky name that comes to me is
Love ’em or Leave ’em
and being a relationship coach the “conversation” posts really get me. With whomever…
Here is one:
http://fluentself.com//blog/biggification/we-interrupt-our-scheduled-programming/
Hi,
My faves are:
http://fluentself.com//blog/stuckification/avoidance-oh-and-getting-out-of-it/
http://fluentself.com//blog/biggification/blogging-therapy-finding-your-voice/
http://fluentself.com//blog/newsletter/calm-techniques-vs/
http://fluentself.com//blog/calm-techniques/everything-im-afraid-of/
http://fluentself.com//blog/habits/talking-truth-to-fear/
http://fluentself.com//blog/habits/truth-about-procrastination/
http://fluentself.com//blog/mindful-time-management/timing-timing-timing/
http://fluentself.com//blog/habits/dont-face-your-fear/
Ideas: Havi-licious Flavors or Selma’s Havulous Picks
😀
.-= Wulfie´s last post … Site Under Construction =-.
My all time favorite is:
June 8th, 2009
Someone just threw a shoe at you.
I think of “International Borekas and Repression Day” and the one where the wall gets all smooshy from crying.
The one that totally got me hooked and forever was the one on tripping, which I guess is already in your Greatest Hits. I’d also have to throw myself in with others who laud the blogging therapy posts, and yes, any post where you are talking to stuck. Good stuff.
Also the one about having hard conversations. That one made a big big difference for me.
.-= Emily´s last post … The Phrase for 2009: Wake Up! =-.
I think my favorite, or at least the one that gave me the biggest “yes!” moment, was the one about not having to shove yourself out of your comfort zone.
I also love the art-buying one, as someone who spends too much time waffling about my art and how I post it.
What about some Helper Mouse Posts?
.-= Amy Crook´s last post … Procrastination Musings =-.
I have to noodle on the fave posts request … but generally, I love any post where you a) decide to take a big step and/or b) reflect on lessons from that step.
To that end, I nominate “Signposts” as the Greatest Hits name replacement. I think you should line up your most stepping stone-like posts there — show people how you’ve arrived at all the fancy business stuff in the first place.
That’s the sort of thing you can’t encapsulate in an FAQ. And exactly the sort of thing real-time “therapy I don’t have to pay for” posts show best!
.-= Julia R´s last post … Prayer #92: In the Bleak Midwinter =-.
I said this over on Twitter, too, so forgive the duplicative redundancy.
* Self Starters
* Biggiest Bits
* Most Influential (geddit?)
* Selma Snacks
My naming strategy apparently runs toward puns …
And my favorite Selma Snacks are the blogging therapy ones, as most others have mentioned. Mostly because that’s an ongoing stuck for me.
.-= Heids (@moonheids)´s last post … Iron Man Deuce! =-.
How about Hit List? It’s a little meaner, but I like it. 🙂
There are so many favorites it is hard to choose. I have to request “To hell with Transparency!” (http://fluentself.com//blog/biggification/to-hell-with-transparency/) because being your self is just as important in business (even if you aren’t yet doing your THING!) and it is in the rest of your life.
Also the dammit list post are huge! And the VPAs. And Selma…especially when she is cranky.
.-= Lauren´s last post … Everything Old Is New Again =-.
I have to vote for the Blogging Therapy Series as well. Two enthusiastic thumbs up.
And any posts where you are talking with different aspects of yourself. The theatrical nature of it totally reels me in. In fact I think you could make all of the conversations where you’re talking with your stuck into a grouping of it’s very own.
Or… since your Havi-ness ranges across a number of areas you could have a few groupings:
Fairy Dust (for helpful posts)
Monsters (for talking to stucks)
Keys to a Sovereign Kingdom…
Hurled Shoes and hints from Selma on how to duck…(heh)
Fun. (or dorky fun). Whatever. (I often find my own silliness to be considered WAY dorky by others. But whatever.)
I revel in my own dorky silliness, dammit!
(Shoooot… just realized I might have been naming Categories instead of an alternative for “Greatest Hits.” Well, maybe the groupings I suggested will spark something for you anyway!
Another idea: You could call the Archives: Havi Land and have a Little way to navigate through where you come upon different topics… Monsters… the sovereign kingdom… a shoe factory… a green fog… get me?
I could be complicating things. Hm.
Those are my ideas. 🙂
The Stuck that’s not supposed to be there anymore.
The CEO with the stripey socks (part 1).
And now that I’ve been directed there, totally Scissors. Part 2.
Oh my, the tears. You are amazing.
My favorite is your talking-to-a-wall post, which was my introduction to you/your site/your blog. A friend passed the link on to me a couple/few months back, and I’ve been reading ever since.
http://fluentself.com//blog/personal/talking-to-a-wall/
And there are all sorts of posts in here that I’d *completely* forgotten having written.
Like the “to hell with transparency” one (thanks, Lauren!)
@R: the one where the wall gets all smooshy from crying! Yes, that one. That’s one of my favorites too.
The category suggestions are great. Thank you!
@Jean – Significant Hair Day! It’s just one guy!
Well in case you don’t read all your @ replies in twitter, I suggest:
The Fluid Five, or Fourteen if you need more… or Four or Fifteen, I suppose. The Fluid Fifty if you’re ambitious & not discerning.
Last sentence makes me laugh now that I’ve read your post.
I did this about a year and half ago to pick out my top 10 from my first 1000 posts. Deciding what metric to use was tough (best writing-even if it’s dark?, only from yearly favorites, photos or no…?). Since I’m not sure if I’ve even gotten 1% of the comments you have, that didn’t factor in for me. I went with the posts I’m most proud of, for writing, photography, or a combination thereof.
My quiet corner of the blogosphere forced me to pick my top ten without help. I didn’t mind because it’s my blog; I picked what was most me in the process (hmm, I smell some sovereignty). Granted mine doesn’t have a central theme, nor is it a business, but I think the best metric to use is the posts you like best, that most represent what you’re trying to say/get across to people.
But since you want to know, off the top of my head, I like the post about buying art and ones on sovereignty. hey, how ’bout this? Pick your best from each category you use: biggification, stuckification…. That might help you narrow it down.
.-= claire @claireofttat´s last post … Astley & Fitch =-.
I wish I could go read them all to come up with a really complete list. My own little Havi-versity or something decidedly less stalkerish sounding. Anyway.
Note: I have a spaz-tastic number of windows open right now.
I re-read the blogging therapy series all of the time. No really: All. The. Time.
My other favorites are where you say something so supremely counter to conventional wisdom. Like this random assortment:
Three words to drive your Right People away
Ask Havi #14: the “twisted fantasy” edition
Avoidance! Oh, and getting out of it.
The thing that stops you from doing the thing.
(Example of why this post is awesome? “First person to leave a comment saying “no, it’s easy, just use my simple three-step system” gets peed on by a certain duck who shall remain nameless. Okay, her name is Selma.”)
Scissors and Scissors. Part 2.
Back to my obsessive browsing…
.-= Briana´s last post … You’re not the boss of me. Anymore. =-.
Good grief — your *first* thousand posts? Ohmygod. How impossible!
And I love that you did it in sovereignty (I Smell Sovereignty should be a song played by Significant Hair Day).
And I like the idea of a couple for each category. Excellent!
@Briana – See? That bit about threatening my shoe-throwers with Selma pee? I don’t even remember writing that. Doesn’t even sound vaguely familiar.
It’s so screwed up. Sigh.
Your post today was awesome BTW. In a year or two when you ask for greatest hits, I’m going to remind you about the “you’re not the boss of me” one. Ha.
I love a lot of your posts, but I really have to nominate this one:
http://fluentself.com//blog/newsletter/worst-thing-about-thanksgiving/
because of the question “What can I be doing right now, in this moment, to be developing a conscious relationship with myself?” posed in it.
I found this post while feeling less-than-grateful about Thanksgiving this year, and it spoke directly to me and to what I needed at the time. (Asking myself that question got an immediate answer, which was that there was no real need to prove how tough I was by ignoring my headache. Within minutes I was truly, truly grateful for ibuprophen. Since then I can find the question scribbled in the margins of notebooks and on the back of business cards I’m using as bookmarks, or sometimes just abbreviated to “the Havi question.”
Anyway, I was going to write to you at the time, but this “favorite posts” question gives me an excellent excuse.
.-= Rachel´s last post … The Brand Pyramid =-.
I have many favorites… but my favoritest favorite? The un-networking ones 🙂 Oh, and the outsider-outsiders, too!
.-= Erika Harris´s last post … What do you do with your untold stories? =-.
I remember talking to my mom on my 40th birthday, and how she said to me that I “wasn’t hiding any more”. I wasn’t sure what she meant until 2006 happened (two years later) and I went back into hiding, hardcore.
So that is why this post really resonated with me, even without the extra video 🙂
http://fluentself.com//blog/stuckification/when-you-dont-want-anyone-to-look-at-you/
I am still hiding, somewhat, but I feel a willingness to open the door and step out again.
Maybe yoga/Shiva Nata metaphors for the “Greatest Hits”? No clue what they would be, just brainstorming on what I associate with The Fluent Self.
PS I did write that blog post I mentioned yesterday.
.-= Andi´s last post … That’s What She Said =-.
Oh, you’ll get to a thousand in no time at the rate you post. Took me a bit over three years.
.-= claire @claireofttat´s last post … Astley & Fitch =-.
I specially like the “Doing just one thing” post.
I think Greatest Hits is fine. Another idea: Pearls of Havidom.
So hard to choose! I agree with Gadgetgirl about the shoe-throwing post. I also love the blogging therapy series, and the Twitter-debunk. And this one, for all that it’s relatively recent compared to some of the other classics, has already become very special to me.
.-= Kathleen Avins @spiralsongkat´s last post … If blogging can be therapy, can it also be triage? =-.
Oh my goodness, all these references to Selma-pee have reminded me of when my daughter was a toddler, and we made all of her rubber ducks pee in the tub while she was having her bath. (Not nearly as gross as it sounds.) I’d forgotten about that.
.-= Kathleen Avins @spiralsongkat´s last post … If blogging can be therapy, can it also be triage? =-.
Hi Havi,
This may be another thing altogether, but sometimes I wish there was a ramp for future fluentselfers (fluentselfish people?).
See, I don’t quite know my fluent self yet, although I do know my cynical/semi-coherent self pretty well. When I have her in tow, sometimes the free-associating-positivity that is fluent Havi doesn’t come through clearly. For me, anyway. It sounds like Attic Greek from where I’m standing.
It’s weird, because you spend a lot of space here reassuring me about how I’m Right People, but it’s taken me quite some time to think that might be true. Some days I’m still not sure. My problem, I know, but if you were considering which posts to put on your singles album, I always appreciate the ones where you describe your journey to fluency in follicular detail. Like, Oh, I might be that Right People after all…yeah, I can stick around here and not feel too square-peg-round-hole.
‘I Smell Sovereignty’.
Love it!
.-= Andrew Lightheart @alightheart´s last post … How to be less grumpy =-.
Oh, yes, definitely the talking-to-a-wall post – it blew my head open (in a good way). The other talking-to-monsters posts were great, too. I also love the blogging therapy series, and the posts about not needing to get out of your comfort zone / jump off a cliff, and Scissors Part 2.
All of them, really 🙂 But then it wouldn’t exactly be Greatest Hits, would it?
.-= Lean Ni Chuilleanain (@leannich)´s last post … Sparkly Glittery Things and Me =-.
Well, one thing I’ve noticed is that you do a lot of internal linking. A lot of these recur quite often (eg throw shoes, just one guy, chickens, Dance of Shiva), and together they comprise your core concepts and also explain the in-jokes so that your readers can feel like part of a community. So one approach would be to have somebody tally up your most-used in-links and make that your new “Greatest Hits” list, the theory being that the things you return to most often are the things of greatest significance.
.-= Shannon´s last post … On Tigers =-.
My mostest favoritest is “This is your brain on patterns.” I know, it’s very two years ago, but it is awesome.
I also have a lot of affection for “5 ways to fix non-physical pain.”
Clearly I am into detailed outlines of processes! But I like them because they help me figure out what to do when I’m stuck (which is not my best figuring-out time, but is the time that I really need to figure stuff out).
Hello 🙂
I just found your blog tonight and have been looking around and reading and such for longer than I should since I should most definitely be sleeping right now. I will definitely be coming back and doing some delving into the archives.
Which means that right now I can’t provide any definite suggestions about my favourite posts since I haven’t read enough yet! I really like the one where you talk to you wall and the wall cries because it loves you. That really resonated.
But I’m really commenting because I thought you answered your own question re ‘greatest hits’ – I think Useful Stuff would be a great name for a list of, well, useful stuff 🙂
Reading the comments I find myself agreeing with Dree too that a ramp for people discovering their own fluency would be great – if only perhaps in the order you link the posts that make the list.
Wow, did I miss it or did no one mention the one to your Twitter stalker burglar?
http://fluentself.com//blog/stuff/my-twitter-stalker-burglar/
Because that one’s my favorite. I’m still waiting for the sequel, too 🙂
I also can’t remember which one it was, but the one where you said “I don’t go out. It’s not part of my life.” That one blew a big giant hole in a bunch of stuckness for me, and it was great. It was like, permission to say I don’t go out?! What!? It might not be greatest hits level for most people, but it meant a lot to me.
.-= Darcy´s last post … Day 49: Have I mentioned I’m getting sick of the numbers? =-.
@emilylime yes! The one about Feeling Like Dirt is the very first one I thought of.
And the Doing Just One Thing post. I think those are the top two for seriously saving my ass. Could you have an “If you’re kind of freaking out right now, read this” category?
Of the current Greatest Hits, You Don’t Have to Face Your Fear was huge for me. Huge. And I quote the image of the dragon vs. kitten when I’m trying to explain your stuff. The Twitter one converted me, too.
I was out with my mom the other day and we were laughing because she was demanding (in mock-5-year-old-voice) “tell me the one about the shoe again”. So… that would be a family favorite.
And of course I adore each and every dialogue with wall or monster.
Now let’s see which I have emailed to loved ones…
http://fluentself.com//blog/newsletter/give-me-back-my-comfort-zone/
http://fluentself.com//blog/stuckification/difficult-question-answer/
And You Don’t Have to Face Your Fear.
And the Dirt one. Twice.
Oh I meant to say… if you are doing categories, can you ask Selma for her favorites and have a category called Selma Recommends? I really want to know what Selma recommends.
@Corrina – ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh! Useful Stuff. That is PERFECT. I’m doing it. Thank you! Yay.
@Anna – a Selma Recommends column would be brilliant. Though she’d probably only recommend the ones about her running for president and stuff. She’s kind of vain. For a duck.
@Dree – will try! It kind of sounds like Attic Greek to me too … 🙂
I finally got the sidebar thing sorted and updated. Under the category Useful Stuff (thanks again, Corrina).
Yay. Whew.
You are wonderful.
Popping back here, years later, because it occurs to me that this post…
http://fluentself.com//blog/stuff/bolivia/
…is absolutely extraordinary and worthy of mention here. Among other things, I consider it a phenomenally powerful example of how very helpful metaphor can be. Definitely one of my favorite posts, if “favorite” = “made my head explode (in a good way)”.
P.S. It isn’t just the post itself, it’s the comments — the way people interacted with the metaphor to say things that they might or might not have ever felt safe saying otherwise. Phenomenal. Yes.
BOLIVIA! Yes yes yes. I am one of those dying to go there, and the permission and sovereignty and just awesomeness made that my favorite ever.