If you hang out here a bunch, you’re probably wondering why I haven’t mentioned Naomi-my-internet-crush (aka Itty Biz) obsessively constantly lately in a while.
That’s because we’ve been secretly hanging out and engaging in passionate make-out sessions discussions. Discussions. Hot and heavy discussions. About interesting things.
Actually we have been brewing up a little something that is tough and powerful and hot.
But wait! I must backtrack.
If you don’t know Naomi yet … well, given that a big chunk of my readers are gentle spirits who, like me, are into yoga, self-work, and deep, intentional looking inward … it seems only fair to warn you.
Here’s the thing. Naomi is a potty mouth.
I love her to death and her cussing up a storm doesn’t bother me, but it wouldn’t be right not to let you know.
Did I say potty mouth? She curses like a sailor. Also, she called my duck a whore.
There’s actually a blog cussometer website that measures how much you swear on your blog — a site I hesitate to link to because: oh boy, time suck — and her ranking is a gazillion percent.
A gazillion? It’s 900% higher than that of most blogs. Close enough.
Yeah, I know I don’t exactly have wings and a halo here (my own blog is, after all, a place where “kosher-ass” is considered an acceptable adjective), but still. Nine hundred percent.
And she called my duck a whore.
I really cannot overemphasize that point. Although, to her credit, Selma did not seem to mind being dragged in the mud like that. It was like water off her back. No ruffled feathers there.
Ouch. See? Cursing is so much better than duck jokes. Not that I’m trying to distract you (I’m totally trying to distract you), but there are more important things in life than whether or not you’re a potty mouth.
Why I love Naomi and why you should too and then getting to the point.
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1. She’s super smart.
No. She’s more than that. Naomi is a small business marketing genius.
She knows a million useful things about how to market things, how to put yourself out there, and how to be successful doing it. And in a zero-sleaze, fully-authentic, non-irritating way. Which, let’s face it, is shockingly unusual in the world of internets.
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2. She knows her stuff like crazy.
Every single time she gives me advice, good things happen to my business. Fast.
I’ve had mentors. I’ve worked with business coaches. I’ve taken classes. She blows all that stuff out of the water.
3. She makes you happy when you’re miserable.
Remember when I was all sad because I was breaking up with my noozletter?
And everyone was telling me that this was the stoopidest and craziest thing I could do to my business? Guess what Naomi said?
So rock the f*ck on with the no newsletter. Nobody reads newsletters. And they make people feel guilty.
Because you signed up for it, you feel like you have some kind of cosmic obligation, whether to the writer or to yourself, to actually read it. But you’re busy, so you let like nine of them pile up and then you start resenting the sender like it’s their fault you can’t get off your ass to read your email.
See? She’s like a fun, drunk Canadian version of me. But curse-ier.
How is she like me? Let me count the creepy ways. Like me, she’s a Pisces. Actually her birthday is one day after mine. She’s a helper-mouse who genuinely cares about other people, and wants to use her powers for good. And she has my old haircut.
Weird, huh? Also, did I mention that my middle name is Naomi? It is. Weird, huh? I’ve got to stop saying that.
But mostly she just thinks intently and passionately about things I care about. We come to different conclusions occasionally but we hang out on pretty much all the same wavelengths, and that’s the important thing.
If I weren’t me and a yoga freak and all that stuff, I would probably be her. Luckily I don’t have to, because she’s doing such an impressive job of it.
And (drum roll please) here’s the scoop:
We’re going to be collaborating. Not in the creepy way though. More like: combining jedi forces to do good in the world and help people we like.
What happened was this:
We were on the phone, talking about how freaking tragic it is when people we love have an idea for a cool thing — or maybe they’re already doing the cool thing — but then they can’t promote it because promoting it is scary and overwhelming and uncomfortable.
And I was saying how I wished she could zap my clients with her ninja marketing skills and genius ideas.
And she was saying how she wished I could zap her clients with my calming-the-heck-down dust and smart yet wacky how-to techniques.
It was clear we had to do something.
And it was clear that this something should also be out there for people who aren’t our clients and who would never even think of hiring us because it’s too scary or too expensive or all sorts of other things. Because it’s not fair to them that they don’t get access to this stuff.
This something had to be the most accessible, affordable, full of awesome how-to-ish-ness program ever, so that we could facilitate breakthroughs and give people structure and support and work with people we think are fun.
Like, how to work through terror, overwhelm and rampant what-if-ization to feel safe, comfortable and supported doing the thing … all rolled into six weeks of study.
So we went to work.
It’s a boy! I mean, it’s a program.
Right. And what got born was the course I wish I had taken three years ago before learning everything the hard way. Really good stuff.
Anyway, here’s what I want you to do. If the theme of self-promotion for people who can’t stand promoting anything and don’t want to be gross but also would like to make some money sounds like something that might be up your alley …. take a look.
There’s a discount-ey thing for people I like. (IMPORTANT)
Naomi and I figured that we should be able to charge less when it comes to people we think are awesome. And actually, I kind of think that everyone who reads this is awesome.
So should you want to do our how to promote the cool thing you do without being gross and/or getting tangled in scary, overwhelming horribleness, yay. And then you can write the word havi in the shopping cart where it asks you for a coupon code, and it knocks $30 off the price.
(Actually, write havi in there first and press “apply” before you do anything else. That way there’s no chance of something going weird.)
This program thingie? Really fun. Yes, wildly helpful with seriously useful stuff, but also: there will be fun.
So drink boring non-alcoholic champagne with me in the comments, and then come play — because this is for you.
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Sounds like the age-old “You put peanut butter in my chocolate! No you put chocolate in my peanut butter! Mmmm” situation.
Naomi already has me itching to see what the project is about and you’ve just added to the interest. Well done on the marketing and the fun factor!
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndromes last blog post..Are you a Pooh-Bear?
@ Alex — I freely admit I don’t know much about your blog, but having seen “Are You A Pooh Bear?” is your title, I’m going. Like, right now.
Sorry, Havi. I’d love to stay and chat.
Jamie Dunfords last blog post..Partners Rule. Mentors Drool.
OH NO!
I was using my husband’s computer and my last comment showed up as him!
At least I didn’t say anything too rude. ๐
Naomi Dunfords last blog post..Partners Rule. Mentors Drool.
Thanks Jamie! Having been reading Problogger’s series on titles, I’m glad this one caught your attention!
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndromes last blog post..Are You a Pooh-Bear? Full Text Answers
@Alex – Jamie is so right on the money. I also couldn’t resist and had to find out if I’m a Pooh-Bear. And anyway, who doesn’t want to read about Pooh-Bear? Nicely done.
Re: the peanut butter and chocolate thing. You could not be more right. There’s the “perfect fit” thing and then the whole I’m crunchy, she’s addictive thing.
@Jamie – now that I know that Pooh Bears are the way to your heart I’ll have to sexy up my titles. See ya over at Alex’s blog!
Hi Havi,
Came over from Naomi’s blog (I loves me a good potty mouth). And I’m signed up (went for the VIP too). It came at the right time and your landing page certainly *spoke* to me.
Good job ladies! Really looking forward to it. ๐
Karen JLs last blog post..The Art of the รขโฌหHook-Up’
@Karen – Rock. On.
Also: your blog is so, so great. I just recommended it to all the film-ophile (help, I need a word) people I know.
Looking forward to hanging out with you in the class. Oh, the fun! I can hardly stand it. Naomi was right, as always.
@Naomi – hahahahaha. Sorry, I can’t type because I’m laughing too hard.
I seriously don’t know what’s goofier, that I was all excited that your husband reads my blog (I got a Double Dunford, baby) or that I don’t recognize your inimitable commenting style when you’re undercover even though we do nothing but email each other all day.
Anyway: Alex, Jamie doesn’t care about you. It’s me and Naomi who are hot for Pooh Bear. Well, Jamie probably likes you too.
See, now I’m all torn about whose code to use. Naomi’s my long time squeeze, but now I want to use yours. Decisions, decisions.
I could just not use either, that way you both make $15 more. What a way to spread the love!
Decisions, decisions.
Seriously, though, I’m excited about your joint course. I know your stuff rocks, and Naomi rolls out goodies, too.
I’m actually more scared that it’ll be closed by the time I can convince my wife to let me do it. Despite the fact that you’ll tell me things I already know, I’m excited to hear the conversations.
Naomi and Havi, together? I need to stop thinking about it before it goes down a less wholesome path.
I also knew it was Naomi talking and not Jamie. Perhaps we’ve both been talking to her too much?
KAREN!!! You crazy chica! How stoked am I right now!
Seriously, I have to start using fewer exclamation marks. I’m trying to act all famous and shit and I’ll lose my reputation as cool and aloof. HAHAHAHAHA.
@ Havi — You’re such a dork. Of course J reads your blog. How the hell would it have autofilled his name if he didn’t? Dork.
@ Charlie — Use my name. She has enough adoring fans. It’s getting ridiculous, frankly. And now I’ve gone and sent all my readers and she’s going to have even more.
Naomi Dunfords last blog post..Partners Rule. Mentors Drool.
@Naomi – Whoah, are you getting soft? Yesterday my duck was a whore, but now all you can come up with is dork? Dork by association? You know, I guess I expected something a little more polished from someone who once used the word slut thirteen times in one blog post.
Except that you’re right, as always. I am a dork. Proof: the fact that I celebrate getting a Double Dunford, even when it’s only in my head.
@Charlie – Yeah, use Naomi’s name. Throw her a bone. Anyway, what’s an adoring fan or two between friends?
Glad to have you on board, and now that I’ve read your awesome awesome blog (go read his blog, everyone) I should really probably start actively
poachinggetting to know more of Naomi’s people, because wow.@ Naomi – See, the power of synergy is that both of you will benefit much more together than you would have otherwise. That said, you’ve got nothing to fear. We still love you. We will be there. You just have a complementary partner now.
I may need you two to write Angela to get her on board. I have no doubt that you two combined can convince someone of anything – and she may be stubborn on this one.
Afterwards, please write John McCain and ask him to endorse Barack Obama.
Charlie Gilkeys last blog post..The Paradox of Fortunate Misfortune
@ Havi – That cracks me up. We were apparently typing at the same time.
I don’t like how a comment I made sounds. I said “Despite the fact that you’ll tell me things I already know” all haughty-like – when in reality the mark of both of your talents is that you tell people what they already know and help them understand it.
Aristotle said: “People who know, do. People who understand, teach.”
So in reality, I meant that to be a compliment rather than a “I’m too good to sit back and chill with you ladies.” But the interwebs makes asses of us all sometimes.
Okay – I promise this’ll be the last time I harass you today.
Charlie Gilkeys last blog post..The Paradox of Fortunate Misfortune
@Havi & Naomi
I had two thoughts re: Jamie – that Naomi had two names – a “real” one (Jamie) and a nom de plume (Naomi)
Or that Jamie was Naomi’s husband and they shared the blog (even if I couldn’t find any Jamie posts on the site).
I toyed with a Sybil-split-personality option for a moment, but decided against that one…
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndromes last blog post..Are You a Pooh-Bear? Full Text Answers
@ Alex — We share the blog. He doesn’t blog too much because he feels he shouldn’t run his mouth of if he doesn’t have anything intelligent to say. Obviously there is something in his water that is not in mine, because I feel no such inhibition. ๐
Here’s one of his:
http://ittybiz.com/jamies-two-cents/
which he was called upon to write when someone made me cry. He basically shows up to play the heavy every now and again.
Naomi Dunfords last blog post..Partners Rule. Mentors Drool.
@ Naomi – Gee, I had no idea I was a crazy Chica…cool! And somehow I suspected that ‘Jamie’ was you. Just a feeling I guess. ๐
You should have linked to Jamie’s rocking post about what a friggin’ fabulous wife you are. That was the sweetest.
@ Havi – Thanks for the film-o-phile love. ๐ And your last post may have convinced me to finally get on Twitter. Hmm…
Can’t wait to work with you guys!
So I just read this…I know, I’m behind the times…and my first thought? I’m a Pisces too! Weird, huh?
“Kosher-ass!” I love love love it!!!!! (How was your Rosh Hashanah?)
.-= Stephanie ยดs last post … Dusty Blue Baby Blanket =-.