Personal ads! They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my weekly ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!
Let’s do it.
Thing 1: rest.
Here’s what I want:
I am completely wiped out from the madness of opening the Playground plus teaching all weekend plus I’ll be teaching all week.
So: all things restorative are of vital importance at the moment.
Ways this could work:
Go back to the “in bed at nine, lights out at ten” thing that was so helpful the last time this happened.
It is time for some Old Turkish Lady yoga. Oh yes.
Also: bed. And more bed.
Related: I have an official Pirate Queen Holiday (aka non-Emergency Vacation) coming up in a few weeks. Spending some time mentally and emotionally preparing for that could be useful.
And maybe I can cancel or move around some things this week. My little monsters are not loving this suggestion but we’ll see.
My commitment.
I will take this seriously.
Shavasana.
Being with water. In many possible forms. Tea. Mineral pool. Hot tub. Long bath.
I will peek at the Book of Me to see if there’s other stuff like this that I’m forgetting.
Thing 2: movement with a pattern.
Here’s what I want:
There’s a particular pattern in my life that needs some attention right now.
It has to do with sovereignty. And with containment. And with making choices.
And I can’t tell you a whole lot more than that right now because my head is full and the clarity isn’t happening.
Ways this could work:
Regular Shiva Nata, of course.
It is time to resume flailing.
My commitment.
Ten minutes a day.
Tp be followed by writing down whatever comes up in response to the question, “What do I need to know about this?”
Thing 3: help implementing some shivanautical epiphanies!
Here’s what I want:
This weekend of teaching at the Playground was awesome.
I had about nineteen thousand amazing ideas. And some pretty outrageous and astonishing realizations.
And now I want to do stuff with them. And am kind of afraid I won’t.
Ways this could work:
I could set some time aside to review what came up and decide which baby ideas need the most love.
They could just sort themselves out.
I don’t know.
My commitment.
To read over my notes.
To tread gently with whatever tiny, sweet things are being born or imagined there.
To ask: what is needed here?
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
The really big thing I wanted was a solution to the floor problem, and we ended up just putting down a bunch of rugs. So it wasn’t really that big of a problem after all.
And we’ll get the wood floor in there in a few weeks.
I also asked for more wondrous brunching excitement for the Playground, and lots of Fun Brewing specialness. And I feel good about that.
Hiro posted a conversation with me (in which I wax incoherent about my love for this fabulous, kooky space). My Bitchy Boozy Coaching class filled up and now I have to remember to set up a new one at some point.
But the main thing is: you guys have been so happy for me. I feel really loved and supported. Thank you.
Other than that, I just wanted “to maintain calm and steadiness and a sense of fun”. And that totally happened.
So that’s brilliant. Well asked, me-from-last-week!
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
What I’d rather not have:
- The word “manifest”.
- Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
- To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given advices.
Wishing love and good things for your Very Personal Ads! Thank you for doing this with me.
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Wishing you all the rest, pattern movement, and implementation help you need. Seeing what came out from the epiphanies you had during the retreat in California (Playground!), I’m really looking forward to getting a glimpse of what is to come from this weekend’s ideas!
My VPA this week…
What I want: I have a baby thing that’s about to come into existence – outside of my head (where it’s been living for the past several years), I mean. I would like for the birth to be smooth, and for me to not freak out and run away from it once it’s out.
Ways this could work:
– I could put it out very quietly
– it could be found only by its Right People and they’d be supportive
– I could decide on the following baby step and plan its implementation, so that the poor thing doesn’t sit there long enough that it starts wondering if I have abandoned it
My commitment:
– to remind myself of the reasons why I love this thing
– to ask for encouragement if I realise it’d be useful
– to schedule some time for me to work on the next steps
.-= Josiane´s last post … Movement =-.
I was really missing this Sunday tradition, I am so happy to see this up.
and yeah playground opening, fabulous.
My VPA
What I really want: To somehow turn off the ‘shoulds’ that are reaching a deafening level and really sucking the joy out of June. Shoulds that are so loud I can’t even think of things I would enjoy much less do them.
How this could work: Somehow find balance between ‘yes I need to get this done’ and ‘this is what I need to do to feed me’. Perhaps use metaphor magic to turn at least some shoulds to less icky things. Or several shoulds could maybe just die??
My commitment: Breathe. Break things up into teeny tiny chunks and maybe do some of them. Really listen to the question ‘how important is it?’
Update on last VPA: I felt like flow did increase throughout the week. Several hours most days with no tightness and my tiara let me treat people with kindness instead of being bitchy and bound.
.-= mary´s last post … dinner at Piccolo =-.
I’ve been thinking about the Playground a lot this weekend. So happy for you!
VPA:
You: The dream that I had while napping on Wednesday afternoon. You were amazing. I can’t remember the last time I remembered a dream in such detail; I can’t remember the last time I had a dream that felt so powerful and significant. You took me into the scary places, made me feel some of the worst things that could happen — and then, suddenly, mysteriously, you led me by the hand into a space of sunlight, nourishment, nurturing, and spiritual safety.
Me: Stunned and grateful and wide, wide open. I’ve been thinking about you ever since. I’ve been trying my best to understand you, as thoroughly as I can. I have so many questions for you! Have you already given me the answers, hidden in your layers, waiting to be unfolded by me? Or will there be a sequel, a Chapter 2?
Either way, dream, I want you to know how very much I thank you. If you want to visit me again — or if there are any other dreams like you, waiting, uncertain of their reception — please know that I welcome you. The door of my heart is open, and I will leave a light on for you.
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … The wilderness within =-.
Well, I heard today that the security of the past six months of regular income is probably coming to an end.
What I am asking for:
$7,000SGD/month above our ordinary classes so I can carry on paying The Debt off by the end of the year. I would love this to be easy, or at least simple, and not involve things that make me puke. Preferably.
My commitment:
To stay awake.
To keep reading my Book of Me, especially my Thing List.
To walk.
To eat.
To cut costs for a bit.
To do a bit of Shiva-ing.
How?
Current clients.
Internet stuff.
Bolts from the blue.
***
Eeee.
.-= Andrew Lightheart´s last post … Sustainable is HARRRD – Friday Noticings =-.
Havi.
I’m really really ecstatic that you had such an amazing weekend at the Playground with amazing people. And isn’t it something when all of this prompts even more goodness to come tumbling out of our hearts, bodies and minds ? Yayo! It’s a lot. And you’re doing it. Tra-la-laaaa! I wish you the rest and ease that you so deserve and need. That it comes to you in all the forms you desire. huggybunches.
My VPA *eek my first one – teeth clatter*:
First request: CLARITY
What I want – I really really want to be clear on what I want so that I can begin moving toward it and creating it of my own conscious design. MOre specifically, how do I bust loose from the cage I have constructed myself and create something more personally fulfilling without sacrificing the well-being of my family?
Ways this could work:
Asking questions and paying attention to what feels good and illuminates my inners : ) *twinkly stuff*
Listening.
My commitment:
Working with the coach.
Silence in nature.
Yoga.
Service.
***
GODSPEED to each and every one of you. huggybunches.
It’s so easy to be happy for you ‘cos you’re awesome! And doing awesome things. So yay Playground and buttery epiphanies and good luck finding rest and clarity.
Update on Previous: Some smoothness, some bumps, but the work mostly got done or at least progress was made. I took the weekend gloriously off and I’m hoping that tomorrow I can ease back into progress. No visible progress on the Right People thing, though I did manage to tweet something that got three dozen sleazy marketing *ahem* people to follow me. Joy. So, this week I’m trying a different angle on that ask…
Thing 1: To get more me out into my stuff.
What I want: To quiet the worm-eating nobody-likes-me monsters long enough to sneak bits and pieces of myself out there into my sites and cleanse them of the blandness that infects all my online business stuff.
How this could happen: My friends could help point out places I can inject some personality in. I could just figure it out. I don’t know, magic? Gah.
My commitment: Daily art posts will continue to be daily. Etsy posts likewise, as much so as I can manage. I will make some space for Shiva Nata flailing. I’ll keep painting and drawing and creating. I’ll do my Money Call exercises and talk to Sinclair about it during our session and I’ll give my inner Very Small Animal lots of tea from his very own Piglet mug, and lots of reassurance.
.-= Amy Crook´s last post … Dancing Wood Sprites =-.
Sending love and good wishes for the Playground! I hope I can go there someday 🙂
Never done a VPA before, but this week totally merits it, so here goes!
What I want: For my busy and stressful week to go as smoothly as possible, with no meltdowns or stress monsters or sudden catastrophes.
How this could work:
– My classes could all go well.
– I could go to bed early and get lots of sleep.
– I could do lots of yoga and writing (21.5.800!) in order to stay in touch with myself.
– There could be little-to-no red tape at the embassy for me to deal with.
– Technology could help out by being functional.
My commitment:
– To do Dance of Shiva in the mornings.
– To take care of my own needs this week, whether that means lots of naps or calling my best friend or going to karaoke and belting pop songs for an hour.
– To be on time for my embassy appointment but give myself more leniency with the rest of my schedule.
Listening to your conversation with Hiro right now. As if moustache juice glasses weren’t cool enough, you just made this awesome purr while gathering your thoughts about The Playground. Might’ve just been a regular exhale distorted in recording, but I could swear it was a purr, which to me conveys your deep-rooted love for this new space.
I’m curious about Old Turkish Lady yoga. What constitutes the Old Turkish Lady part of it? I envision two possibilities: creaky stiff old ladies being super mellow and gentle with their yoga OR totally badass little old Turkish ladies one might underestimate at first glance, but who are mighty and flexible: yoga ninjas.
My ask for this week: Clarity for Claire. Particularly business clarity. Or maybe the ask really should be for certainty or gungho-ness to generate some forward movement. To not second-guess myself.
How? Good question. Hmm. Finding a well of commitment. Being willing to try, to move forward even if I change my mind later (doing that’s why I’m at this crossroads–no wonder I’m hesitant). But it’s still forward so embrace that.
My commitment: Perhaps simply commitment. To follow through knowing that it’s forward even if course corrections are needed down the line.
.-= claire´s last post … Sketchbook, page 32 =-.
It’s so exciting to hear all the wonderful fabulous movement happening with the Playground… not to mention this new anticipation for what could be coming next!
Last week’s VPA was so personal, I couldn’t even type it out. But I’m happy to update that forward movement is occurring, and good things seem to be happening 🙂
This week’s VPA: growth, and finding a few right people
What I want: to find (or be found by) new clients who will be thrilled by what I offer, and who will be my right people. To increase my monthly income in a way that feels non-icky, and helps me move closer to my ultimate goal of being fully self-employed.
How this could happen:
-I could attend that networking meeting with those really nice local small business owners that I’ve been saying I would attend for, oh, years now…
-I could let me current clients know that I am looking for new clients
-I could increase my online presence; i.e. build that facebook page for my business that I’ve been meaning to build for months
My commitment;
-To spend some time with my goal every day, even if it’s just quietly contemplating it, and seeing how it might feel to build my business
-To actually attend that networking meeting (they really are nice people!)
-To journal ideas for a facebook page, and maybe write out the steps to actually creating the page
Ok, my monsters are starting to get a little restless, so I think I’m going to go hide under the covers and convince them that nobody is going to read this, so we’re all still safe and hidden…
Eeek!
.-= Heidi´s last post … Dear Sis, you’re a bitch. Thank you. =-.
Yay for the playground opening its eyes. 🙂
Last week was exactly what I needed, rest and a new perspective.
This week:
I want to work 4 days a week instead of 5.
How this could work:
– do plenty of research, maybe even phone someone in HR before I make my plan known, so I know where I stand and what I can do if my request gets turned down
– take time to write the email
– don’t assume there’s trouble before the trouble arrives
My Commitment:
– be aware of what’s my stuff and what’s their stuff
– believe that this can happen smoothly
I have only recently come across your blog, and find many many things that resonate with me, for which I am very very grateful. Thank you. This is my first response to one of your posts, and I think it’s going to be quite long, but since you asked…
I’ve been stuck on this thing for a few years because I was focusing on not knowing how to make it happen. So here goes:
The Creative Space
Here’s What I Want
I want to have my stables converted into a beautiful, calm, light-filled, eco-friendly creative space, where I can paint and that I can share with other people to create. I want the big conversion work to be done for me and the how of it all to come to me peacefully and painlessly, like a gift (eek: stuff!).
Ways This Could Work
– Hubby could cough up the dosh (see above stuff)
– I have no idea.
My Commitment
I will make it beautiful, calm, and welcoming and I will share it with all the people who want to share my creativeness, and who need a space for their creativeness. I will nurture it and ensure it is filled with love, laughter and happiness.
What I don’t want
Any conflict with my husband over the creation or use of this space
To be burdened by administrative or financial tasks in the running of this space.
Thank you
VPA
To let go of the tension in my neck.I feel like it is stopping me or maybe protecting me from something.
Ways this could happen:
-It could just go away.
-Something else could change, with ease, and my tension could just melt like butter.
-Not sure but open to anything.
I promise to let this tension be and to move out without any control at all. No explanation necessary!
Best wishes with all the VPAs
.-= Stacy´s last post … Dreaming of empty buildings, food and community =-.
Havi, hooray for the Playground’s birth, and for having taught your first weekend workshop there! Wishing you deep restorative rest now, before the next wave, and time to savor all the beauty you’ve created.
My VPA today:
1. For Sovereignty Kindergarten to be filled with its right people.
My commitment: To create a safe, welcoming, playful space to learn, practice, and transform patterns around Sovereignty.
2. For ease, support, love and kindness during my move this week.
My commitment: To bring these qualities into each day. To receive them with gratitude. To appreciate all the ways in which my friends and family show up for me.
Wishing you all the miraculous fulfillment of your own Very Personal Ads.
Love, Hiro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Bodh Gaya =-.
Congratulations on the Playground. I wish I was closer or had the resources to come and experience the awesomeness. I wish you much rest this upcoming week.
This is my first VPA, so here goes:
What I want: to act with more authority and use my truths to guide my decision-making.
Ways this could work: I could quiet the people-pleaser; keep reading over my book of me.
My commitment: practice shavasana, meditation, keep working on the book of me.
.-= Alisha´s last post … Mental Dis-ease =-.
So I’ve been following all the wonderfulness here for some time, and this is my own first VPA as well. Seems like there are lots of folks who are VPAing for the first time this week? I’m with good folks here, that’s for sure.
My VPA…
What I want:
Courage and clarity. Greater awareness of my patterns around biggifying, and compassion from myself as I shift those patterns with love.
I would like to perceive the compassion that is already present in other people as well.
For the fun to come back! For the challenge and inner ick to ebb like a river at low tide, so that I have more room to play.
Greater access to one of my greatest strengths and passions: my own intuition.
And excellent interviews/talks later this week!
How this could work:
Through trust and mystery! And perhaps a huge ol’ awakening that sets my toes a-tingling and helps the armor around my heart to be reassigned to more helpful duties.
Perhaps by sleeping more. I am inspired by the bed-by-9 routine.
Self-kindness. And the practice of finding the kindness in others.
Through allowing structure.
My commitments:
-Daily shiva nata
-Attending qigong practice this week
-Unhunching my body from the computer
-LOTS of time with the animals! And the beach!
-Play time with my lovely website, which has been sending me little psychic postcards saying, “Are you going to come over and hang out with me again? That would be so nice.”
-Creating the same spaciousness for myself that I create for my clients and others whom I love
Big wishes to all of your VPAs.
Update on last time: easy, natural rhythm is returning. Or at least moving in the right direction which is pretty much everything.
What I want this time: There’s something I want, and I’m not ready to write its VPA. So instead I guess this VPA is for finding out what needs to happen next, or what I could do, or what I need to know in order to make the next shift. (Cryptic, much?)
How it could happen: Ummmmm.
My commitment: Actively look for answers in the tiniest possible way that still deserves to be called “active”. Like maybe reading about it or asking a friend for thoughts. (“Like maybe” doesn’t sound very commitment-esque. Ha!) Shiva Nata.
.-= Briana´s last post … I don’t know anything. (About tamales.) =-.
My VPA is all about today’s (fun-brewing-inspired) class (I’m a day late to the VPA party!)
What I want:
To help the people who need this help, with grace and sovereignty.
To be full of peace and clarity during the class.
To be able to tap into the smartnesses on pricing that have been swirling about since first thinking up this class.
How this could happen:
I could be peaceful, graceful, sovereign and smart before, during and after the call 🙂
My commitment:
I am going to take notes on EVERY thought I have on pricing until the class happens.
I will do some Shiva Nata 30 minutes before the call, followed by shavasana.
I will calm myself and tap into my heart that is SO full of wanting-to-help right before the call with deep breaths and slow thoughts.
Let’s do this thing!
.-= Tara´s last post … Questions, Answered =-.
My last VPA was several weeks ago. Since then: working a bit on the making-connections stuff (I have been putting myself out there in new places!); and last week I did some really useful stuff about focussing on what I want out of the journalism job (which has already led to Potential Thing, and which is making me feel *so* much better about seeking clients/jobs), plus have also been working solidly on the fiction-project, and putting time into the allotment & balcony. I also put some time into thinking about the right sort of activism for me, and then in following up some connections, and *today* a bunch of stuff suddenly came together in a really exciting way! Which is just awesome 🙂
So! My VPA for this week is for ease and flow in continuing to hold all of those things as they move forwards, and in threading them all together into the *thing* that is me-in-the-world.
How this might work:
– I might get support from those around me.
– I might find myself increasingly able to focus on the things I want to do as they become clearer in focus and more visible to me as real things that are happening (and thus spend less time goofing off in unproductive/unhappy ways and feeling bad).
– I might have further insights magically.
– I might get more support from new people that I’ve been making connections with.
My commitment:
– keep working on the avoidance and feelings of being scared and not trusting my abilities (with Shiva Nata and morning pages).
– follow up on the links I’ve been making.
– try to practice the non-violent communication thing at least once a day, out loud.
– keep on writing, every day, even if I feel like avoiding it (because I always feel like avoiding it, and I always feel good once I’ve done it).
– but keep on working on my aim to *not* want to avoid it (whilst I allow myself to feel that way, because that *is* how I feel right now and that’s OK)! because it is actually good!
I also have a very little practical VPA, which is: to sell an article to one of my list of environmental magazines, for actual money.
How this might happen:
– the couple of pitches I’ve sent already might bear fruit.
– I might think of something EVEN BETTER.
– someone might come across me and recruit me to write something for them.
My commitments:
– keep researching relevant magazines.
– send at least 2 more pitches out this week.
– think about whether I want to start writing the otherblog again.
– have a look at my website and make sure it’s saying the right things.
Also: yay for the Playground!
.-= Juliet´s last post … iPad! =-.
So much playground excitement. So many huge congratulations! I loved the conversation with Hiro. (And Hiro, you have the most delightful and soothing voice.) Many pirate cheers for the playground and for rest and for everyone’s asks. My VPA for something interesting to enjoy working on and time to do it developed neatly, leading to a new VPA for the resulting story to get out widely, and to be taken in the spirit in which it was written. Eep.
.-= Sandra´s last post … Latte foam art face transplant =-.