Personal ads! They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my Sunday ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!
Warning: my brain is kind of fried right now. Not sure if any of this makes sense to anyone who is not me. But what the hell. It’s Sunday.
Let’s do it.
Thing 1: balance and timing.
Here’s what I want:
I’m officially on Non-Emergency Vacation (aka Pirate Queen Holiday) right this second.
Still in prep-mode though. Because I suck so much at vacation that I need to plan in long, slow transitions to make it happen.
So this week is all about preparing for the super fun going-away-and-being-somewhere part of going on holiday.
And what I want is to get better at these transitions.
To this end I’m working on balance, timing, lots of sleep, support, and help with my sovereignty stuff.
That is to say, I want to get better at these things. At making them priorities.
Ways this could work:
With playfulness and an experimental mindset.
With surprises and unexpected sources of support.
Ooh. I could wear a costume to remind me that I’m not at work.
And I could spend some time messing around with The Game (see next ask).
My commitment.
I will nap as often as required. Possibly more.
There will be tea.
Lots of journaling, asking of questions and examining of shivanautical epiphanies.
And mainly I’ll do whatever I can to notice what’s not working, and respond with sweetness.
Thing 2: further developments with The Game.
Here’s what I want:
Okay, background.
A few months ago I was doing a lot of thinking about how I want more play in my life. Less work, more play.
So my focus had been on things like efficiency, delegating, being a better Pirate Queen, etc.
But now I’m going at it from another angle: trying to bring more play into what used to be work.
There is a game I’m in the process of inventing. And it needs time, love, goofiness and experimentation to take form. Also a name would be good.
Ways this could work:
Giving an hour or so a day to developing it.
Or: just playing it this week and taking notes on what is needed to make it awesome.
Or: I could talk this over with the group leaders in my Kitchen Table program or with the neat people in my Mindful Biggification program.
I don’t know exactly. But I’m open to possibility.
My commitment.
To play. To laugh. To experiment wildly.
To dance. To bounce. To throw things around the room.
To go for long walks and to ask lots of questions.
To be receptive to unexpected surprises.
Thing 3: Jen Louden’s writing retreat.
Here’s what I want:
So Jen is someone I hugely admire. This will be the ninth year of her amazing women-only writer’s retreat in Taos.
Also known as the Luscious, Nurturing Get Your Writing Done While Laughing Your Butt Off and Maybe Crying a Little Too Writer’s Retreat.
And it will be the second time that I’m teaching there.*
* Teaching Shiva Nata for neuron-connecting fabulousness to make your writing flow, Old Turkish Lady yoga for deep relaxation, and lots of destuckification techniques.
Last year was one of the most incredible things I’ve ever experienced. I got the best writing of my life done AND got over my “I’m-not-a-writer” stuff.
Anyway, I just found out that there are two more openings because some extremely unlucky people had to cancel.
My secret wish: it was so much fun meeting a lot of my people there last year. And I would LOVE it if two of you guys got to grab those last spots before anyone else gets them.
Ways this could work:
I’m going to give you the link again, just in case:
The best writing retreat ever.
And trust that if you have questions about it you’ll ask me in the comments.
My commitment.
Love. Lots of it. To everyone.
Thing 4: Sovereignty Kindergarten!
Here’s what I want:
Hiro just moved to her new place, so she hasn’t had much time to talk about her Sovereignty Kindergarten, and why it’s important that we learn how to maintain our space and not let people knock our crowns off.
I would love to have several more people find their way to this seriously useful, life-changingly great program of hers before the early bird thing ends.
Ways this could work:
I’ll keep writing about my own experiences/practice with sovereignty stuff.
The right people could just find it.
The timing could be right.
We’ll see.
My commitment.
To practice this stuff myself and model how it works (as well as what doesn’t work).
To jump up and down with excitement because I have been waiting for this class for pretty much my entire life.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
The main thing I wanted was equilibrium. And it showed up in spades, for which I’m feeling very grateful.
I also asked for help with being patient, which is not my strong suit. Working on it.
And I needed help remembering to practice serious self-care (like, whatever the Extreme Sport version of self-care is).
That one was really challenging.
But my sense is that I’m getting slightly better at noticing. So that counts.
And I wanted to write about sovereignty, and I did. Yay. A good week, I think. Getting better at what I choose to ask for and what I’m capable of committing to as well.
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
What I’d rather not have:
- If we can avoid using the word “manifest”, this practice is a lot more appealing to me.
- Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be x, y and z”
- To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given advices.
Wishing love and good things for your Very Personal Ads! Thank you for doing this with me.
Follow
A game, a Havi Game! 🙂 I can’t wait to see what you’re creating.
Thank you for loving Sovereignty Kindergarten and making it part of your VPA. Mine too.
My VPA’s for this week:
1. Rest, play, and rejuvenation for both you and me, Havi.
My commitment: To make room for this. To move my body. To remember that play is as essential as air. To do at least five Very Silly Playful Things today and every day.
2. Fun Brewing for the Playground. To keep the energy for this flowing, so that the Playground receives the ongoing nourishment it needs to grow and to thrive.
My commitment: To visit with the Soul of the Playground each morning. To keep the energy clear and present. To support the process in as many ways as I can.
3. Sovereignty Kindergarten. To connect with my right people and have them fill this class with their presence.
My commitment: To create a loving, safe, playful space in which to learn and to practice the skills that support sovereignty. To honor the process of discovery and exploration around sovereignty. To have fun doing it.
Wishing you all the magical fulfillment of your VPA’s, and a truly happy Sunday.
Love, Hiro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Elegy =-.
Here’s what I want:
To be totally and completely free of all the remnants of this mono that’s been afflicting me for nearly 6 weeks.
Ways this could work:
I could wake up and feel better.
This could happen for all subsequent days.
My commitment:
I will take my meds to clear up the rest of this sinus infection. Even the nose spray, which I HATE.
——–
Here’s what I want:
To have a feeling of peace rather than frantic scrambling.
Ways this could work:
My workload could suddenly feel more exciting and less intimidating.
I could regain the brainpower I’ve lost to having mono.
My commitment:
I will trust that having new staff writers for my blog will make life WAY easier.
I will avoid spending too much time in CafeWorld on Facebook. (I can’t say just yet that I’ll delete the game.)
I will enjoy my time at Origins Game Fair this Wed-Sunday and not stress about what will happen on Monday.
.-= E. Foley´s last post … Custom Search Wishlist For Dating Sites: Pet Allergies =-.
When you say “costume”, for whatever reason – this is especially odd given my background in the theatre – I think of superheroes.
So when you talk about putting on a costume to remind you that you’re Not At Work, I get the image in my head of SuperHavi.
Apropos of very little, of course. Just thought I’d mention it.
Also, I really want to attend your writing workshop, but a) it’s just not in the budget, and b) my wife seems to think that it’s a women-only event, which I totally respect if it’s true but it does mean that I can’t go. 😉
I am still working on Strength from last week. It still seems strange to say “buy my thing!” or “click on my links!”, but that will, I think, come in time. Calm, by contrast, I have found. I had an absolutely delightful week and a great life-changing experience on Thursday specifically, and it really helped a lot with taking time to recharge. (It helped with Strength, too, but I’m still coming to terms with that.)
This week, I have only one:
Thing 1: Clients. (That is Strength talking.)
What I want: To be clear up front: what I do is what I would be doing even if I didn’t need the money. I had that revelation this month and it’s really astonishing and energizing. But that said, I am, sadly, not yet independently wealthy. So I would like to find some Right People to work with, both because I really, truly love doing this and working with people, and because I really, truly love having a house and electricity.
How this could happen: I could find people here, or elsewhere on the vast Internet – on Twitter, Facebook, etc. – or maybe even in person. Or people could find me; I’m doing better, I think, about not hiding my light under a bushel. (I overuse that metaphor/reference, but it’s the best I have at the moment.) Or people could refer other people to me. It’s kind of eye-opening to really examine all the Right-People-Client-Finding methods.
My commitment is twofold. I will keep my light out from under its bushel, and approach people I think I could help; and I will consciously remember that even if this VPA isn’t fulfilled and I don’t get new clients, that doesn’t make my business a failure or me a not-worthwhile person.
Great love to all! And if I can help you, please let me know.
.-= Chris Anthony´s last post … Set the standard =-.
Update on Previous: My clients have totally failed to be in any way smooth with any of it, but in a way that has shoved some of the work off to later. This is both good in that it freed up some time to not work myself ragged this week, and bad because it means the madness will continue apace in July. I also couldn’t spare any RAM for the whole right people & art issue, so I’m going to just let it lie fallow until the pace lets up.
This week’s Ask: Smoothness and ease in everything.
What I want: For all the many things I have to do this week to go smoothly, with no hiccups or technical difficulties, missed flights or personality conflicts.
How this might work: I can be calm and trusting and sovereign and move through these things that are all familiar like they’re going to work out, and they can respond by working the way they need to. I can get plenty of rest, and be able to deal with contingency plans if they’re needed without it breaking my equilibrium. Things can just go well.
My commitment: To make contingency plans where they’re needed, and try not to let expectations get in the way of peace and enjoyment. To celebrate for those who deserve it, and be happy when I get to get back to my own life without resenting their need for me to be a part of theirs. To breathe.
.-= Amy Crook´s last post … If Wishes Were Fishes =-.
Update on last week’s ask for equilibrium in the face of a meeting with the lawyer – the meeting went as well as could be expected. Despite some initial doubts, I was able to produce the 2+ years of documentation requested well before the deadline.
What I didn’t expect was how much more is going to be involved especially if the case ends up going to trial. I don’t even think I remember all they told me because it was just too much to think about. It resulted in insomnia most of the rest of the week as well as a massive neckache the following day from the tension. And here I thought that the last 2 years really sucked. Oh no, it will get much worse before this becomes a thing of the past. Major YUK!
What I want
Someway to survive the upcoming events which I have no idea when they will happen nor what they will involve. The lawyers did warn me that the opposition’s lawyers will be much rougher in their questioning. Thus, I want to be able to get through this with my dignity intact and no tears.
Ways this could work
Continue to reach out to the very few people that I can speak openly to about this situation. Continue to find my happy place with my kitties. Continue to practice relaxation techniques. Continue to work off my fears and frustrations at the gym.
My Commitment
To remember that this is only temporary. That this doesn’t say anything about who I am as a person. To remember that I did the best I could given the circumstances. To stop second guessing what I said and didn’t say over the past 2 years.
So very grateful this safe place exists!
Love the whole Game idea – and the way you seem to wear FUN, Havi! Here’s to your non-emergency vacation!! Hope it’s over and above what you expected and planned for!!
My VPA – well, my TWO VPA’s…
1. Movement (lots of movement!) on doing video to connect and communicate – I’m starting to notice how energized I get when I communicate by talking. So…
My commitment is to wrap this stretch (& it IS a stretch) with self-care time — to keep writing and yoga-ing and checking in with myself DAILY because, even though I love talking – talking on a video – which’ll be more or less permanent – is scary. So I want to provide myself with inner support, not just push through.
2. I’m wanting to find some local peeps – some folks who have the Square-Peg mindset (which is – in a couple words — mindful nonconformity) to hang with.
My commitment is to (another scary one) put up notes (online and off) to see if anyone is interested in a Tweetup in Langhorne, Pa.
Thanks for the spot to share VPA’s — big hug!!
.-= Square-Peg Karen´s last post … Rules of the Road =-.
My somewhat convoluted ask from last week was pretty successful. Lots of zag momentum. In a week, I revised/redid over half of what previously took me months to accomplish. Moral of the story: what feels like it’s starting over from scratch often really isn’t.
I found the 6 year old design sketches I’d been thinking about it and they were not what I expected them to be, which makes the finding of them that much more useful. Haven’t settled on what I’m going to use but I did draw and start reading the serendipitously found The Book of Codes. So… progress.
This week:
1. To get back into daily practice of stuff that gets me connected to my body.
How? Unofficial Old Turkish Lady yoga (have you read Easy Does It Yoga? Seems like an OTLY vibe), Tai Chi, little bits of stretches incorporated into my day. Or…?
Commitment: Notice when I’m waiting for something and do something useful in that time. Take a break from working to do some– I find this always pays off in concentration later.
2. Get past the stumbling blocks that have me holding off setting up cards and postcards in my new shop.
How? Just make some decisions. Or, ooh, a little feedback here perhaps?
A grammar question: which is best when the URL is written out on next line?
More info and photos at:
URL
More info and photos:
URL
More info and photos
URL
More info and photos at
URL
Commitment: To appreciate any feedback I receive but if not, not to use that as an excuse to procrastinate. To spend time on it.
Cheers & good luck with your VPAs, everybody!
.-= claire´s last post … Sketchbook, page 34 =-.
What I Want
To get out of my current toxic work environment. To enjoy my job again.
How This Could Happen
They could move me into a different area of the branch, where I would get to associate with people I like.
They could remove the mandatory referral requirements.
They could allow me to read books in slow time again. Or use non-work internet when there are no customers. Or write.
My Commitment
I will do my best to fulfill my obligations to this job, even though it is currently making me miserable.
I will value my own sanity over the income from this job; if the situation does not improve in a few months, I will quit.
I will be open to opportunities to make things better, no matter how they might come to me.
I’ll be blogging again about Sovereignty Kindergarten as well as tweeting; to help out with the publicity =)
My ask:
For this week to be smooth and full of laughter. I’m currently ina house where shoes are thrown at me, during exams. I need this week to be smooth and loving. I’d like lots of peace, but also tiem and space to meet up with friends before I move out – to laugh and find things just slot into place. I’ve hundreds of things I’d like to, so any help in choosing which to prioritise would be nice too.
How this could happen:
ShivaNata
Not throwing shoes back
Asking for help from friends
Going to bed on time
Meditation
My commitment:
To laugh even when I don’t feel like it
To connect and take any opportunity to do any things on my want-to-do-this-week list
To trust
Breathe
Dance
.-= Rose´s last post … Visibility: Creating the Dreamscape =-.
My Very First Shot at my Very Personal Ad:
What I want:
is to find the right people to assist me in moving my little bitty business forward so that it can get established.
Ways this could work:
The right people could show up with an interest in coming along side of me in structural and financial ways so that I can move this firm into the next phase.
The right people would also recognize that this firm has at its heart and mission the desire to help others through charitable giving as well as a hiring structure that includes those who are at a disadvantage in some way.
An industrial sewing machine could fall into my lap (although preferably not with a hard landing because they are quite heavy. But even if it is a hard fall, I will take it!)
My commitment is:
1) to continue to work in all directions on growing this firm utilizing all of my internal resources and abilities.
2) to continue to being open to sharing what I am working on with people who come across my path. I will listen to the ideas of others about my LBB (little bitty business) as well as assist them in discovering their own next steps.
3) to continue to being open to what comes up in my yoga practice. This involves doing the intensive internal work.
Thank you for providing this forum for putting my deepest desires out into the universe!
I really didn’t think that either of last week’s VPAs would happen – yet here I am and my foot is miraculously non-hurting and I got time to do the blog stuff I wanted to. (Despite suddenly realising that I was going to have to start doing a bunch of uni work this weekend rather than next.)
VPA: Mission Foot-Happiness
What I want: for my foot to continue healing.
How this could work:
Plenty of rest.
Doing the excercises.
Doing my woo-woo stuff.
Wearing the trainers.
My commitment:
Not to work 12 hours days.
To ask people for help, even though it’s super hard.
Patience – or at least the intention. I would say baby steps, but, well….
VPA: Mission Everything Fitting In
What I want: I have a busier than normal week coming up – I need to finish one session of uni work and start another, I have my cousin visiting at the weekend, I’d like to finish my blog tweaking so I can, you know, actually post to it, oh, and I kind of have to spend 40 hours at the day job – and it like the week to have flow and smoothness and lots of getting done, without it descending into tears and wanting to throw things.
How this could happen:
Proritising what has to get done this week and what can be left until next. Writing this down. And then looking at it.
Shiva Nata
Yoga
Allowing myself to do one thing at a time
My commitment:
To remember that I am injured and this is not a time to work myself until I’m exhausted
To remember that I am not responsible for other people and that some organisationey bits for the weekend can done by other people
To take time to do shiva nata and yoga and journal because it makes everything so much easier
Not to hate myself if I don’t get everything done that I want to.
What I want
To be in relief of my fear of mucking up at new job.
I am as tightly coiled as a spring and it aint nice. So series, paranoid and not myself.
To work through frustartion that I have to do a job like this at all when I would rather do my own thing NOW and not wait a moment longer.
To feel less angry that I am not being paid my worth and to remember if I can that at least the bills will be paid for three months straight if I stick at it and my income MAY go up after three months – which will mean I can buy a cheap but gorgeous camera for my blog and maybe do a course online to help me with some of the overwhelm I have around techie stuff and products I am making for ONE day.
To see the bigger picture. To feel the bigger picture in my bones.
To deal with a really challenging character at new place of work who is rude, sarcastic, slimy and who enjoys trying to make me feel small and in front of other people. To make a connection with sovereignity in this respect. I’m not a little woman but I struggle with this crap at work. What is the politically correct way to tell someone to get out of my space? I need to learn, develop, practise, trust.
Ways this could work?
One session of tapping due with an awesome practioner I am in touch with.
Tapping on my self too so that I can be less on edge and frustrated. Mixing it up with some of Larisa Koen’s Owl Eyes. So lots of gentle energy clearing and self comfort then. Yay to that!!!
Making sure I am well rested.
Remembering to comfort myself inwardly when I go into hyper critical mode at work.
Allowing myself to learn and grow. Patience – probably a bit like hope, a practise which gets easier the more I do a litte more.
As always love to you Havi! Good luck with your VPA’s and the build up to your very well deserved non-emergency vacation. Here’s to fun and light for all of us who need a little more right now!
Mwuah!
xx
.-= Leila Lloyd-Evelyn´s last post … How authentic is your voice? What character traits & passion do you squash, sit on & crush? =-.
@Havi, I’m sooo glad you’re on non-emergency vacation — it actually sounds like a dream vacation to me!
Here’s my VPA:
What I’d like:
For the absolute perfect person to enter to win the contest that I’ve got going (sponsored by my friends Heavybubble), to win a scholarship to my online course. Perfect Person X is an artist who belongs to a gallery cooperative. He/she is the one who gets things done — there’s one in every group, the one who doesn’t stop to run it by the committee, the one who just jumps in and does it. And PPX is strapped for cash right now, so a full scholarship to a course that costs $110 would really help.
How this could happen:
– One of Havi’s readers could see this VPA and get curious.
– PPX could see it on twitter or facebook or linked in and decide to find out more.
– One of my friends could pass the info on to an artist friend.
– One of my blog readers or list members could realize that this is an awesome opportunity.
My commitment:
– To keep letting people know about it, before the deadline on June 24
– To welcome the contest winner into the course and give the support he or she needs.
– To celebrate his or her win!
Happy Sunday,
Maryann
.-= Maryann Devine´s last post … The random. =-.
What I Want #1: To get rid of this horrible body pain.
My CFS has been really acting up this week, and I’m pretty much in horrible pain all the time. I’m not quite sure what is causing all of this, but it’s making work difficult, and being cheerful difficult.
Things I Could Do:
Work out a self-care routine that is short but effective, and put up a reminder to follow it every day.
Drink more water, and find a stretching/yoga routine that I could really commit to.
Develop a schedule instead of being awake whenever I need to work and sleeping at random times and intervals.
My Commitment:
To listen to the why of my body, and to try and figure out the source of the pain. To give myself permission to take a break, and to do more self-care than I have been doing.
What I Want #2: 10k running training!
I have this new 10k running programming that I’m really excited about starting. Unfortunately, all the things I have to do to actually get started are overwhelming me, like finding my running stuff and getting up early to run and getting over my fear of being the awkward slightly curvier girl running in public (The monsters associated with the last part are very loud).
Things I could do:
Try and talk to my monsters about my self-image.
Try and develop a schedule for running that I can maintain, with some belly dancing/toning on the off days.
Build in rewards for myself to keep the momentum going.
My Commitment:
To sit down and have a conversation about my monsters and body images and procrastination. I know that they just want to protect me from feeling vulnerable and laughed at, but I really want to do this. And to find my sneakers tonight and wash my running clothes.
.-= Holly´s last post … Fortune Cookies, Wish Fulfillment, and Why We Need a Better Business Culture =-.
Update from last time: I asked for action and triggers for those magnificent days when things flow & I end up feeling satisfied. There have been many moments of BING! I experimented with morning walks, drinking more water and time with wonderful friends. I noticed some things that require further experimentation.
Putting on my Private Investigator costume…
What I want:
More clarity on how I operate – smoothly. (I’m aware of some bugs in my system)
I had an inner clang of recognition reading “mainly I’ll do whatever I can to notice what’s not working, and respond with sweetness” Sweetness & play. I’d like a deftness, a lightness. Taking myself seriously is heavy work.
Ways this could work:
Noticing and responding with “ahhh, hello, look at this”
Shiva Nata – pushing myself out of my comfort zone
Using stickers, and colored pens and other childhood treasures to incorporate play
Jumping around to music I love
My commitment:
To decorating my space with the words Play, Delight & Curious
To look at my self made book each day.
What I want: To quiet the icky voice that keeps repeating things I said & saying I stuffed up. The icky voice that loves it when I feel shame & guilt.
Ways this could work:
Journalling
Breaking out Monster Coloring Book again (it’s worked for me before)
Checking out with others, get feedback from people who were there
There’s something about forgiveness – playing around with that
My commitment:
To remember the times when facing up to the icky has worked wonders.
To trust in myself and take whatever baby steps seem appropriate
Best wishes to everyone for a wonderful week
MY VPA:
I need to practice more self care than I’ve been managing lately
How This Could Happen:
I could write myself little notes to drink more water
I could have a look to see where my Sugar Monitor Monster has disappeared to – he was doing a good job keeping me on track but suddenly vanished last week and my eating habits went to pot
I could work on the ‘going to bed and sleeping’ issue again
My Commitment:
To be in bed by midnight every night this week – this one thing feels like plenty to work on right now
.-= Kirsty Hall´s last post … Ignore Your Ducks =-.
VPA 1: New living space
What I’d like:
To find a beautiful new space to live- in a very easy way. Still near the shore with a wonderful yard. Dogs allowed and lots of brightness inside please!
How this could work:
-Someone we know has the space and needs someone to live in it.
-Someone who is going to live away for awhile and wants someone to care for their home.
-Or anyway at all…I’m open to ideas!
My commitment:
-I will love and care for the space as if it were my own.
-To bring in flowers, laughter, joy, friends and family.
-I will enjoy the space and create there.
VPA 2: Peace, tranquility, lightness and freedom
What I’d like:
A way to find ease and peace around me.
How this cloud work:
-I could find a NEW way to do the very thing I do with less red tape. You know, with less should, could and have to!
-Someone can give me the answers I need and make it ALL easy.
-Maybe someone can tell me how it can be done different.
-Or this thing could go away and something MUCH better could replace it!
-I’m open to the the many possibilities.
My commitment:
-To allow for change, feeling free and the easy.
-To rest and allow for slowness.
-To help others in their pursuits of same.
As always, thanks for the space Havi!
Happy VPAing everyone.
.-= Stacy´s last post … friends… =-.
Hmmm…okay let’s see, for my first VPA:
Here’s what I want:
My stomach to not feel so bloated all the time. I’m so tired of feeling this way.
Here’s how it might happen:
I might eat more yogurt and vegetables and drink a lot more water.
I might remember to walk every day all week. I could combine taking photos as I go and feel the rush of happiness that I feel when I’m doing something creative.
I could do Shiva Nata and shake up my mindset and probably my spiritset.
I could go to bed earlier so that maybe I sleep all night and wake up fresh and early.
My commitment:
To write my morning pages every day this week.
To run my energy for 15 minutes each morning. To stay focused on this thing I want.
To at least do the water drinking. And yogurt eating.
To do Shiva Nata on Monday and Thursday.
And take some photos.
Thanks, Havi. I can hardly wait to begin.
.-= Lynn Jacobs´s last post … 10,000 Hours =-.
Havi-
I just found your blog and kind of love it except that if I am an ISTJ you must be the opposite of everything because your concept laden language makes my engineer’s brain year for concrete terms. I read your posts slowly translating from concept to concrete as I go and get to the end realizing that I loved it – and that I have a headache. I’m making your blog part of my mindful biggification project so expect to see me often -but if my comments make no sense, please send Excedrine.
My Very Personal Ad:
What I want:
I would like to find a way to balance Ambition with Contentedness. Instead of focusing on WHAT I HAVE NOT YET ACCOMPLISHED I would like to take some time to appreciate what I have accomplished while maintaining enough dissatisfaction to keep me moving forward
Ways This Can Work:
I can take some time each week to celebrate the successes or write concrete goals and celebrate when I reach them (i.e. 7 days of consecutive 1k/page view days, etc.)
My Commitment:
To focus on being positive instead of on being negative.
To allow myself at least 5 minutes of celebrating before I move on to the next goal.
Crazy uppy-date from last time:
I found a client in the most unlikely of places, had someone offer to do referrals for me and have a lead for next month.
Even better:
I’ve been frustrated with an aspect of my business. Wednesday, I decided I would VPA for a solution. Friday, I remembered someone else’s VPA from last week. I contacted her and we sealed the deal to solve my problem 20 minutes ago. I got an answer to my ask before I even asked! Behold the power of the VPA!
No new ask this week. I’m just going to be grateful.
Best of luck and hugs to everyone in their asks.
Ooh! A game! That sounds like a fabulous project… what could be more fun than making your very own game?
I realized that it’s been a couple weeks since my last VPA. I did do the things I said I would to help my VPA come to fruition, but nothing happened… The funny thing is, it’s actually a good thing that nothing happened (yet), because that wasn’t quite the right time for that particular VPA to be answered.
So. My VPAs for this week…
#1 To be patient with myself and my thing.
I could make this could work via gentle reminders to myself, notes left in silly places.
I could wear my blue bracelet, to remind myself of the importance of respecting the sovereignty of both myself AND my thing.
I could journal when I start getting frustrated, so that the frustration can live somewhere other than in my head.
I will commit to being kind to myself, and to being mindful of the moments when patience seems to be scarce.
#2 To move forward with my thing (with patience of course!)
I could make this work by updating my website… which could begin with simple journaling/brainstorming.
I could ask for help from my friends/family, so that it doesn’t feel so overwhelmingly all on me and scary.
I can commit to daily journaling, and to asking family for help. Friends can be approached once I’ve practiced on my family a bit ; )
.-= Heidi´s last post … Hot buttered epiphanies. Buttery layers of stuff. =-.
These are beautiful. I love so much reading everyone’s ads.
Love to everyone’s asks, and wishes for clarity, insights and fabulousness all around.
@Deanna – that is seriously awesome. Nice!
@Kit – whooshing some headache relief your way, maybe we’re in some reverse doppelgänger experience. Hope it gets easier or that I learn how to explain things. 🙂
@Lynn – yeah baby first VPA! Wishing everything you need with that.
@Stacy – seriously inspired by how many creative options you came up with for “ways this could work”, might have to borrow some of those. Thank you.
@maryann – I hope Perfect Person X is reading, or that he/she finds you in the most perfect way ever. Yay.
@jane – so great to read about your surprising everything-working this week. Wishing good things for this next bit.
@claire – I have no idea what’s actually “correct” in terms of your grammar question, but I would probably go with the first one. And then either end up changing it six times later on or forgetting all about it. Yeah.
@Gadgetgirl – hug. I am so so sorry about all this hard you’re going through right now. Wishing for all the ease, support and help you can stand. And sending love your way.
@everyone – reading these is one of my absolute favorite things. Thinking of all of you and blowing imaginary fairy dust.
@Havi It’s funny because I’ve been using the first version for months but am now at a point where I need to redo all those things, and it’s started looking wrong to me, like the “at:” might be redundant with the “at” and the colon.
I really could change it six times but I’m exercising restraint when my mind starts considering using an ampersand instead of “and.” 🙂
.-= claire´s last post … Sketchbook, page 34 =-.
I would like to not panic now that the kind of opportunities that I’ve been VPA-ing up offline are starting to pop up. (!)
How this can happen: Spend some serious time re-reading everything in the mindful biggification sidebar and go back through procrastination dissolve-o-matic. Listen to other allies on this. Just get so excited and involved in the work that there’s no time to get all worried.
@claire – if you were a client submitting a technical document to me for editing, I’d have to insist on
…at
URL
with no colon. (I delete this type of colon all day, every day.) Or, “More info and photos:” could also work. Since it’s not a tech doc, I don’t think anyone will mind so much if you want to leave it!
Also, I am so hoping to go to Jen’s retreat when I’m back in the states. It sounds perfect in every way.
.-= Sandra´s last post … Take this ring and smash it =-.
Wanted:
A nice set of breadcrumbs I can follow as I tramp through the woods to find how I’m going to make my living helping others make their living by co-creating jobs that are dreams and dreams that are jobs. Woodland creatures, you’re welcome to eat them after I pass through but if you could leave them until I get there I’d really appreciate it! And thank you Hansel and Gretel. Hope to see you someday!
.-= Matthew Wyne´s last post … Love Your Career: Turn Your Life into a Movie =-.
Oh, this week. This week, this week, this week. So much sad, but so much good is coming out of it.
What I’d like: Peace. A release from this terrorization I’ve been dealing with. Resolution and moving forward, but right now, just peace.
Ways this can work: The source of my harassment could have an epiphany! I could batten down the hatches even further so nothing gets through. I could be so fixated on all the things I have that are going well, I have a god-like sense of proportion.
What I’m committing to: Enough rest. Enough water. Asking for support whenever I need it, no matter how “ridiculous” it seems to me. Going for walks, with and without dogs. Nei Kung, and plenty of it. Special hoo-dooing bonus sessions.
Thank you, Havi, for providing this great space and reminder that HEY—we can ASK for shit, and shit.
Oh, how I wish there were biscuits and a duck right now. But soon enough, I suppose. And memories galore, lucky me!
.-= communicatrix´s last post … Frrrrriday Rrrrroundup! =-.
A bit late to the game, but I am in need of clarity, so onward…
What I want:
Sovereignty.
I know this is Hiro’s invention and Havi’s word, but truly truly truly it is THE main quality I crave these days. It’s a beautiful, stately word. Having it would ease so much frustration and existential angst. I hope, anyway! It’s worth exploring, and that is my ask.
How this could work:
Talk with friends about this concept and learn how they apply it.
Read Hiro’s and Havi’s thoughts on sovereignty as well as other useful guides that address this issue (but call it by other names).
My commitment:
To take a look at where I’m in need of applying sovereignty (it occurs to me it’s not everywhere it needs to be).
Journal about this to get clarity.
Make this a priority in my life and recognize that anytime I’m losing myself or feeling lost or starting that downward spiral, that it’s probably a sovereignty issue.
Think about how sovereignty is a choice.
Bustling about today, but taking a minute for a special Monday VPA…
What I want: to have a happy birthday today.
How this can happen: I can relax and enjoy whatever I’m doing, whoever I’m with, however it unfolds.
My commitment: to be present, open, and grateful for all the goodness in my life.
May everyone’s VPAs come true in all the best possible ways!
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … All you need is love. Thank goodness for that. =-.
“And mainly I’ll do whatever I can to notice what’s not working, and respond with sweetness.”
That is my new task for the week.
Thank you.
– Amanda
Just discovered that I have a Money Monster (to make me feel guilty that I left my reusable smoothie cup which saves me $.50/smoothie and many more things) and an Iwantit Bandit (who robs from me to give to me). Long stories that I will bypass. Needless to say, I had other names for these monsters before I came to this wonderful site and realized that I could identify, name, and talk to my monsters and stucknesses.
I also found Fred, my wall – hoping that his name didn’t come to me because I read your conversation with your wall whose name, if it had one, I don’t remember. Even if it is, I found Fred. We haven’t talked yet, because I’m more interested in the weird relationship the Money Monster and the Iwantit Bandit have with each other. Plus, to be honest, I’m scared of Fred ’cause he is a thorny hedge-type wall with a lot of poisonous snakes hiding in him. So, I’m waiting until I have hedge clippers, hip-waders, and a snake-bite kit. It could be a while.
Anyway, thanks for all of the wonderful ideas and help you’ve given me.
@Sandra Thank you very much for your editing savvy. Your picks coincide with my top 2 revision choices.
I sampled the “More info and photos:” but did start to feel the “at” would be more clear, a la your 1st tech doc choice of “More info and photos at”
I think if I keep looking at it, its rightness will seep in. Thanks again for the feedback!
.-= claire´s last post … Goddamn motherfrakking ants =-.
Havi, you are wonderful, and just what I needed most! I found your blog through a series of ‘coincidences’ last night, stayed up far too late reading, and had a great day today despite the yawning and the bright, noisy randoms whizzing round my head. Your ideas and suggestions make so much sense. Lovely, sane, sensible sense! *Does the happy ferret dance*
What I Want
To come to grips with the ‘stuff’ of the past few years and get my confidence back. To lose the shadows of fear, doubt and bitterness and get back to being my creative self.
How This Could Work
Work on myself, take time to think, to feel and release. Meditate, work through my own version of DBT, cultivate mindful awareness.
Work on changing my environment. Step outside of my comfort zone. Make the major life changes I know I need to make but am too scared to think about in depth.
My Commitment
1. I will create a safe place and take the time to *really* think about things in depth, feel the feelings that arise, accept them and release them.
2. I’ll finally make a proper list of the life changes that have to happen for my security and sanity, and no matter how intimidating they look I’ll remember I can break them down into tiny little baby steps and get them moving forwards.
3. I’ll make sure that in amongst it all there is some time for dancing, singing, scribbling and giggling!
Thank you all – you have really inspired me, and reminded me I CAN do this. Big Love and Big Success on all your VPA’s!
.-= Laura´s last post … If you register your site for free at =-.