Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
I’m in North Carolina, teaching the Week of Biggification (password = pickles) that I have been working on setting up since last January.
So I was still planning on posting here this week, but then my laptop (Mack the Wife) had to go to the hospital.
And then a bunch of other …. complicated and challenging things happened.
See under: this week’s hard.
Shall we?
The hard stuff
Sick. Worst timing ever.
We flew into Asheville from Portland two days in advance, so Selma and I could get settled and adjust to the time zone.
And we did get settled. And it was lovely.
Until the day we were supposed to start. I got food poisoning and spent the entire day vomiting my brains out.
And then had to revise my entire lesson plan to involve things that don’t require movement or thought.
Nice.
Trying to do things when you can’t stop throwing up. It’s insanely hard.
So all the prep work, getting the room ready, everything that was supposed to happen didn’t.
And I nearly passed out in the cab on the way there. That was fun.
Thursday I was still pretty wiped out, and Friday looks to be slightly better. I hope. But ugh.
Dinner.
The place we’re staying has outrageously great food.
We had this fabulous meal put together for the first night. And people were moaning with delight, and I could only drink hot water with lemon and sigh.
And then I tasted one little thing, which, though delicious, also turned out to be … a mistake. Oh the unfairness.
No computer = a disastrous way to run a company.
Fortunately the First Mate managed to take care of most things.
But I couldn’t respond to anything. Or write posts. Or type up a variety of things I’d planned on typing up. Frustrated mouse!
I missed you guys.
Not getting to watch the last game of the World Series.
Well, we got the first six innings. Listened to them. In the Atlanta airport.
On my gentleman friend’s iPhone (thank you, magic MLB app) and sharing headphones.
Because the ridiculous Atlanta airport thinks a random football game is more important than the World Freaking Series.
And then halfway through the sixth we had to get on a plane.
Agony.
The good stuff
I’m here.
And while I had to interrupt my day of throwing up all over the place to teach a two hour orientation, we still had fun.
And it still worked.
And I didn’t projectile vomit on anyone. Whooo! Ten thousand sparklepoints for me.
It’s really good to be here.
The people are amazing. No big surprise there.
We are having fun and singing pirate songs and doing old Turkish lady yoga and being smart.
It is awesome. And it’s about to get way better. Because I can totally stand up now.
Hearing people speculate on what we might be doing. Is hilarious.
An actual conversation I overheard:
Guy at the bar: “What’s this group meeting over there … The Fluent Self?”
Bartender: “Oh, they’re like … writers and creative people and they do things with creativity or something.”
Guy at the bar: “Is that a trampoline outside their door?”
Bartender: “They have all kinds of knickknacks, those creative people.”
Yes. Yes, we do.
And no, no we aren’t.
Never mind.
You should have seen us blowing bubbles and waving magic wands. Or flailing the dance of flail.
You should see where we’re staying.
Yes, yes, the mountains and the sky and the trees and the glorious gorgeous fall.
But really, I mean this crazy room they put us in.
It has eight more chairs than we have in our entire house. And a wrap-around balcony.
Conflict resolution.
The thing that has not been resolved appears to be resolving itself.
This is very good news.
Giants take the World Series!
The joyousness! The rejoicings! The games!
Exclamation points.
And as much as I tried to whisper to myself it’s just a game it’s just a game, it was so not just a game.
It was awesome. It was a shock. And it was also a tiny little triumph over Justin Bieber, and both Georges Bush.
And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
I’m loving the band this week.
Vampire Hedgehogs
Seriously? It’s just one guy.
And some of the lovely presents that arrived this week.
Oh, and sadly I don’t have pictures yet!
There’s a pirate duck amigurumi thing from Tara the Blonde Chicken.
And a delightfully creepy zombie spa duck with cucumber eyes from the hotel!
And Shiva Nata cards from Frank.
Also I have a truly bizarre red wig. Huh. I guess it has been a good week.
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day and a restful weekend-ing.
And a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
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Egads! Sorry about the projectile vomiting…that just never seems to happen at a good time. Glad you’re feeling better!
Oh poor Havi! Projectile vomiting is not fun.
In fact, I think we should ban it. Right now.
I’m glad you are feeling better. That’s a relief!
And now, on to the chicken!
The hard…
– My sleep is all wrong this week. Not getting enough, not going to bed on time, etc. So tired. And a bit weepy.
– Every day I woke up with a plan for what I was going to work on. And every day the plan was thwarted by customers asking for things. (Must stop reading email in the mornings, I think. At least until I accomplish some tasks.)
– Stupid satellite TV provider and I are going to have it out soon. Random channel changes to satellite tv provider’s commercials are annoying and totally messing up my Tivo.
The good…
– Had lunch with an old friend who was SHOCKED at how much weight I’ve lost. Lots of compliments. Yay! All that starvation totally paid off!
– Am learning that just because people send me email, I don’t have to answer the email RIGHT THIS MINUTE.
– Election!
Have an awesome weekend!
Sorry you were sick Havi. Hope you’re feeling better.
For me:
The hard:
– Week 2 of blocked ears and bronchitis
– Finally absorbing the fact that husband isn’t going to get better (despite his healthcare workers telling me this in numerous ways for some months now, and I managed to not hear them), and accepting he will be in chronic pain for always.
– resisting the urge to go into ‘poor me’ mode
The good:
– Starting to get better
– Start to work out how we handle this mutha of a chronic pain issue as far as how we conduct our life for the future.
– Accessing work’s free counselling/therapy
– Being grateful for what I do have – a lovely husband and a lovely life.
Dxx
Oh Havi, I’m so sorry you were sick. I agree with @avonelleL, projectile vomiting really should be banned
In reading this, I just realized my parents are likely to be some of those people this weekend speculating on what y’all are doing, as they’re going to be staying at the same hotel. It really is soooooo gloriously gorgeous this time of year.
And to everybody: hugs (if you want them) and hope to help with the hard, and glitter and glee for the good.
So sorry to hear about the hard. Maybe instead of using the trampoline to dunk basketballs you could use it to dunk bubbles…..Feel better!
Ack. Worst. Glad you’re on the mend. Feel better stat!
Hard: injured ribs making me a little ginger and tender and sympathy-needy, even though really it’s not that bad.
General stucky stuckness all over.
Good: Really, it’s not that bad. Healing so fast, and hugely relieved about that. Beautiful fall weather. Great students. A Wednesday national holiday. Homemade cookies.
Oh Havi – I can’t even imagine how you made things go while sick. I’m super impressed that you were able to pull of the orientation still. We definitely missed you!
For me:
The Hard
– Fighting the panic now that my business has actually started… it’s waking me up at 4:30 am and occupying my mind relentlessly
– Discovering my pattern of running away from uncomfortable situations rather than expecting to be able to resolve them
– Remembering to be compassionate and patient with others even when I’m in a no-bullshit mind frame and just want to get things done efficiently and well without a lot of hassle
The Good
– I get to do the work I love again AND for the first time, it’s totally on my terms! No more farming out my skills to a boss that may some of the time appreciate what I do. No more middle man. This is good, good news!
– Finding momentum and strength in my work and seeing it spill over into other areas of my life too
– Getting a leadership position, as I wanted, in my community service work
(Wow, now that I’ve really articulated the Hard, I’m not so sure I know what to do about it. That was unexpected. The Good, however, is totally rocking my world.)
So sorry you got sick. What a horrible thing to have happen (and on the first day!) 🙁 I hope you’re feeling better now.
Thanks for sharing the overhead conversation. I’m still giggling over the knickknacks.
Wow – you are seriously hardcore to be that functional while that sick. Go you! (Really glad you’re feeling better now!)
The Hard:
– I’m getting shorted in the sleep department lately. It’s been a struggle off and on for much of this year. Seems to be creeping toward “on” again.
– Thanks to PMS, hellooo anxiety! Especially last night at 2am.
– The ever-growing to-do list keeps growing. And I’m not the best at setting it aside to relax and play.
The Good:
– A session with Hiro today that shifted a crazy amount of old stuff.
– I’m really starting to get a sense of my business as this thing that can (and will) support me. Like I’m finally getting that all this work isn’t *just* up to me.
– I know what project I’ll be working on next, so after this very productive week, I’m going to try to give myself a couple days off before digging in.
Wishing everyone a lovely weekend, and may the Good always outweigh the Hard!
Ack, projectile should indeed be banned, stat! Glad you’re feeling better.
Friday chicken! A summary of the past weeks, really.
The hardness.
Nothing in particular, actually, just trying to combine too many things in too little time, plus a lot of commuting to various ends of the country.
The goodnesses.
My thesis has been printed, finally! Just 3 more weeks until the defense and I can close that door.
Learning crazy amounts of new stuff on the new job and loving it. I also have nice colleagues, even though there are many of them and it drains energy to get to know them.
Just general hapiness with the turn my life has taken and looking forward to having a social life again.
Have a glorious week, Chickeneers!
I really feel with you, I had my first case of food poisoning this year after not having had it for what feels like decades and OMG, how awful it is.
@Inge: Congrats on the thesis and the job and the general happiness!
My hard:
– Tried to talk to my Mum about an issue that has been bothering me for a long time. Total non-understanding and “leave me alone” reaction on her side.
– Trying to work out how to work on this.
– Shoulder pain, blocked s/i joint.
My good:
– Two days by the sea with husband. Long walks on the beach, sunshine, beautiful fresh air. Sauna in the evenings.
– Catching up with a friend back home.
– Hair cut.
– Loving, loving, loving my job.
– Giving a packet of handkerchiefs to a silently sobbing girl sitting opposite me on the underground and getting a surprised and grateful smile in return.
Have a beautiful weekend, chickeneers!
Bartender: “They have all kinds of knickknacks, those creative people.”
Aaargh! *inarticulate with the awesome* ZOMG, that needs to be a T-shirt. Or a mug. Or both. Can I please have that? Can I bribe you with cucumbers?
Ahem. Let’s have a chicken.
Hard: Exhaustion. Predictable exhaustion, because last weekend was one of my twice-annual weekend of exhaustion-inducing craziness (a comic con) but still, oof. Tube outages. The drummers. Yelling at people all day because of how loud it was. Had no seat on the train. Wondering why I insist on doing this to myself.
Good: Comic con, whoo! So much fun it hurts. And yes, I will keep going.
I had two days off afterwards, too. Where I wasn’t doing any work or going online or even doing housework. It was glorious. I read comics and played videogames. I feel so much better about everything now. I should do this more often.
I have a plan. This is good because plans are some of my favourite things. It’s not about sticking to them, it’s all about making them. Yay, plans.
Go go gadget chickeneers! I’m sorry about all your hard. Hugs to all.
Does the red wig match your red boots? 🙂
Stop. Chicken Time. -hums-
The hard stuff
-Someone stepped on my stuff last Friday in the form of mild shoe-throwing. She didn’t realise; we both apologised/explained our positions and went about our business… And I’ve been psychoanalysing myself all week on her accusation.
It’s debilitating and tiring and just ended up in a load of guilt and self-worth questioning.
It was hard, and still is, slightly.
-No sleep. It’s getting old.
-Been eating junk food due to item number one – which leads to low mood/energy levels. Which just didn’t help.
-Deadlines!!! My dissertation tutor is moving to Germany in December.. like half-way through my dissertation. I’ll get a “sub” teacher for the 12 weeks following. Current tutor is there now, sorting the plans. And i’m stuck here with no idea what to do, watching time tick by. Stressful.
-GradFair was Wednesday. “So what do you want to do with the rest of your life? Decide by next week for a chance to work with us”.
Go away. Like now. Forever. Thanks.
The good stuff
-I played scrabble with my housemate last night. With wine. It was good, mature fun.
-Samhain. I celebrated Halloween with my Druid grove and it was amazing. I find that it’s important to have a sense of community, especially in Winter. And I gave myself the gift of going to the community gathering.
-One amazing night where I slept for a full 7 hours!! It was AMAZING.
-And today I’m going to a friend’s house after lectures. I hope it’ll be relaxing and fun 🙂
Hugs to all 🙂
Why is it so hard to look back and acknowledge the hard? Much easier to pretend it doesn’t exist, or that by virtue of the fact of having survived it, it must not have been hard. But I will try.
The hard:
Passive-aggressive co-workers and some flare-ups of resentment from them. Since it’s passive aggressive it’s mostly covert and I wonder how much of it is just in my head, how much I’m projecting my own resentments on to them, and if they are being resentful, how much of it do I own. Struggling to find my ownership in this because in the past they have been pass/agg resentful over stuff that was just me doing my job well.
Scary situation with my checking account which was completely resolved in my favor but caused me several days of repressed panic and anxiety and hating-on-self.
Ugly presentation at work which made me feel as though I work for Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters.
The election.
Politics.
Frustration with the yoga studio for not taking action t resolve the plumbing problem that has caused the studio to smell like a sewer for weeks. WEEKS!
The good (a.k.a. the soft or the ease):
Checking account problem resolved! Feeling wealthy by just having enough to get by.
Lovely ladies that I teach yoga to at work gave me an unexpected (and,I feel, so undeserved), extremely generous gift card.
Getting some tough projects done at work where I had to work fast and smart, and I think I was able to make a valuable contribution (to Lord V. and his cronies).
No more political ads!
Seeing contentment on the faces of my yoga students. Realizing that what makes me different from most yoga teachers makes me similar to most yoga students–and that’s a gift.
Feeling hopeful.
Ha to the trampoline conversation. When I was at a writing retreat the other people there were weirded out by the writers and their computers. It had to be explained during lunch that there were writers in residence and that our tool of choice was a computer and they would be seen about the house.
The Hard
– forgot what the point of everything was for a couple of days
– fewer new clients than I’m comfortable with
The Good
– have some seminars lined up for 2011!
– remembered the point of everything, was strangely reminded by the site of an ex on facebook of all places. but I remembered that he loved me once and I loved him once and that love was and is the point.
– traveling! Packing up my car and heading north. Yay!
– I printed out what I have so far of my novel and it was 38 pages long. Kind of cool to think that 38 pages came out of my brain.
When you’re vomiting your brains out there’s nothing worse than vomiting – so hope you are feeling better.
I missed you. Had a hard week (see hard) and realize how much I use your posts and the comments to help me through hard days.
The Hard:
Speaking up has gotten me negative feedback (shoes) and I went into hurt and then withdrawal mode – that’s my pattern.
What was different was that I saw it, and gave myself almost full permission to be where I am and not work on it if I don’t want to. That felt freeing and sad too.
Long insanely rainy day with no access to outside or gym for very kinetic 4.5 year olds and nothing I tried helped. Frustrated.
Husband out alot, not able have connection time.
Watching old family dynamic play out in car ride to Sanity Rally in D.C. (see Good)
Not enough time to take care of myself contributing to the above.
The Good:
The Sanity Rally with my husband and grown children!
Redeemed the D.C. family vacation from hell 12 years ago that lives in family infamy.
Saw my part in ugly family dynamic and could pull back and describe what I felt and saw to other family members. Didn’t get angry when they couldn’t get it.
Great music and people at the Rally. Husband made clever and amazing signs.
Wishes for a good week to come…
Yikes! I’m so sorry that you (and your laptop) got sick at such a ridiculously bad time. I think you get about a MILLION sparklepoints for coping with that one. Hope you’re 100% better soon and enjoy the rest of the week.
Vomiting sucks. You have my deepest sympathy.
My week?
The hard.
– Migraines every day. Every single day. Some days were really really bad. Other days were just kind of bad painwise but I had no energy and had to sleep a lot. And Wednesday morning I threw up. Before I’d even eaten anything. So there wasn’t really anything to throw up, but that didn’t stop my body from throwing up anyway. Bleh.
The good.
+ Orders from two new wholesale customers. Yay!
woof. totally feel you on the Giants game getting cut off business. that’s happened to me with playoff games a few more times than i’d like to count. (then again, red sox have been IN the playoffs a few more times than anyone else would like to count lately too :P)
the Hard:
– doing some facts and figures re: the Relationship. they weren’t adding up. additionally, it’s been a hard wk for the Partner.
– someone made a mistake this wk from which i profited. it’s a lot of money. inaction would have been dumb. but it’s too bad the mistake was made. it is the sort of mistake that opened up wide fields of opportunity for me. but. of course. it’s Hard. it would have been Very Easy to say “no, i shouldn’t do this.” however, then i would have been running away from a Chance to Do Something.
sigh.
– doing some Facts & Figures on What to Do in the Future. also not adding up.
the Good:
– now they are. and Things are better than ever with Us. <3
– it's clear sailing with my Action. now i have chances which i didn't have before to Do Something.
– my windfall is really making salient to me that I can do this.
Hard AND Good:
Life… can be amazing. I just have to Be There.
Throwing-up sick is just plain horrible. My sympathies. Big sympathies.
And this right here? “They have all kinds of knickknacks, those creative people.” Cracked me up. Totally.
This week’s hard:
– All together now: Overwhelm. Yes, I think it is time to embrace this theme of mine, to recognize that that is just *how it is,* at least for the moment, and figure out a way to wallow joyfully in it (or at least not panic when some of it splashes on my face).
– Skipped the gym and had to reschedule a hair appointment, because this overwhelm is the kind that can’t take even a couple of hours away from the work this week.
– Bad news and all kinds of hard for too many of my friends and family this week. So hard to not be able to do a damn thing about it.
This week’s good:
– Credit card paid off. This was a biggie, left over from the days of Full-Time Freelancer, Round One, when my major client pulled everything back in house without warning and I wasn’t able to find enough work to replace that work quickly enough and eventually ended up taking what turned out to be the Job from Hell, which still didn’t pay enough, blah-blah-blah. I’ve been chipping away at that sucker for a couple of years, and it’s finally gone.
– I’ve been finding some nice little strategies to move through this pile of overwhelm that seem to work, things I had never really considered before. And I’ve been able to dredge up some energy reserves from somewhere to help me, too.
– Finally being in a place where I can turn down work that doesn’t thrill me.
Happy Friday, chickeneers!
Oooooooh, not good. not good at all. sorry to hear about the pukeys, and the puter problems. Ugh.
Chickachickachicka
Hard:
-husband person entering low period again. bad things happening to him. no magic wand to fix it all. can’t even say the right things. ugh.
-the snot factory that is my head at the moment. ick.
-gigantic splinter in my toe. ouch.
Good:
-i think (shhhhh). Okay, apparently this good is still incubating. i’m afraid that if i yay for it, it will go away. so how about a secret yay for a thing that i’ve never quite managed to catch in time before? (catching it did involve annoying and monotonous humming, plugging my ears to shut out annoying lobby muzak and calling my own voicemail to leave myself a message, and it still might suck, but at least i got this far)
-i sort of outed my new blog. i like the way it looks, and i like the focus it is giving me on some things that needed focus. things that, for some reason, didn’t feel like a fit on the original blog. and then there were two…
-i got the splinter out. really, a huge yay, as it was stuck in there for more than 24 hours. it was 1/2-inch long. i know.
-it’s november. i like november. a little cold and a little warm and windy and colorful and the possibility of snow, and layers and sweaters and hats and fingerless mittens and frosted fields in the morning.
-i did some non-sucky yoga and it didn’t suck. it did remind me that i need to do non-sucky yoga more than once a month. it’s kindof amazing how quickly your range of motion goes away when you sit still for too long.
vomiting sucks. i feel for you. i was up all last night.
the hard:
see above.
+ parent teacher conferences.
the good:
my class rocks.
interviews and giveaways.
Ugh to the vomiting. There is nothing good about food poisoning at all. Crossed fingers for feeling better, and for a fixed laptop too. And hugs for everyone’s hard (@Riin– I feel your pain, I was down with a migraine yesterday).
This week! Oh, this week. Chickening.
The hard:
-I was doing so well on the sleeping thing and then I stayed up until 2 a.m. I still don’t know why exactly this happened. Oops.
-It is very awkward to be thrilled with something when everyone you know is angry and disappointed with it.
The good:
-Take that, universe, I’m going on a two-day vacation. Yep. Really. Assuming all the reservation stuff works out.
-Waffles. I love waffles.
-I ordered shoes. Cute shoes, even. I haven’t bought shoes in several years, so I’m excited and hoping that they will fit.
-It was cloudy and cool for a couple of days this week, and it was the most wonderful thing ever for me. It even rained a bit! So today the sunshine doesn’t seem quite so harsh, and the temperature is milder. Nice.
Happy Friday and have a marvelous weekend. Hugs all around.
Sheesh. I am so sorry you were feeling so terribly vomitous. And really glad you’re on your way to recovery.
The hard: Sleep has been somewhat hard to come by. Other than that, I really can’t think of anything.
The good: My Month of Social Magic experiment is going swimmingly! I called it magic because I just like thinking about magic, but it actually HAS been very magical. I’ve been getting in touch with people I haven’t spoken to in months, and they keep saying, “Oh, I was just thinking about you yesterday.” It’s crazy.
My job has cool people at it. I’m starting to feel like my real true self there. It’s miraculous.
I’m super excited about this weekend. I think it’s gonna be fun.
Oh my gosh! Possible really exciting writing opportunities.
Intriguing new business ideas.
P.S. I might have to make a t-shirt that says Vampire Hedgehogs on it. Cute. Adorable. Slightly scary.
@Lori: YAY! Congratulations on making that final payment!
re food-poisoning: If I may voice an alternative POV, I wouldn’t go so far as to ban vomiting, mainly because I’ve experienced the violent expurgation of toxins through other orifices, and, well. Lotion-infused wipes only do so much. [redacts rest, figuring this has already gone way TMI.]
Seriously, though — ugh. Heartfelt commiserations. And I second the awarding of a arkload of sparklepoints for getting through it.
Hard:
* tired, dizzy, and in pain. Not a great combination for heading into a commitment-jammed weekend.
* everything I wanted to get done this week is still not near done
Good:
* feeling useful. Among other things, the Room in the Inn program I’m involved with is kicking in just in time (bitterly cold night expected).
* obeying my body’s demands for lots of naps. Things may not be getting done as soon as I’d hoped, but I haven’t gotten setback-sick.
* the five-part canon we’re singing this Sunday — “Be Grateful, My Soul.” Intricate (which for me means fun!) and very fitting for All Souls’ (the lyrics are from a letter a Czech Unitarian minister wrote before his execution by the Nazis).
@Lori: YAY! Congratulations on making that final payment!
re food-poisoning: If I may voice an alternative POV, I wouldn’t go so far as to ban vomiting, mainly because I’ve experienced the violent expurgation of toxins through other orifices, and, well. Lotion-infused wipes only do so much. [redacts rest, figuring this has already gone way TMI.]
Seriously, though — ugh. Heartfelt commiserations. And I second the awarding of a arkload of sparklepoints for getting through it.
Hard:
* tired, dizzy, and in pain. Not a great combination for heading into a commitment-jammed weekend.
* everything I wanted to get done this week is still not near done
Good:
* feeling useful. Among other things, the Room in the Inn program I’m involved with is kicking in just in time (bitterly cold night expected).
* obeying my body’s demands for lots of naps. Things may not be getting done as soon as I’d hoped, but I haven’t gotten setback-sick.
* the five-part canon we’re singing this Sunday — “Be Grateful, My Soul.” Intricate (which for me means fun!) and very fitting for All Souls’ (the lyrics are from a letter a Czech Unitarian minister wrote before his execution by the Nazis).
Best wishes to all y’all.
Oh my goodness. What is it about crappy timing and sickness? That is super hard Havi. I’ve been sick a lot in my life and I remember my three bouts with food poisoning as being the absolute worst to endure. Ugh-ville. I’m so glad to hear that you’re on the mend. I think autumn in that part of the country is immensely healing though. I’ll send a message to the trees to keep an eye out for you. 😉
The Hard:
* Being the lone voice of integrity at work. Or feeling like I’m the only one asking questions no one cares to answer.
* Stuck in a metaphorical ditch, in the snow, with no snow tires, no four wheel drive, a broken heater, and hours spent staring at spinning wheels. Ugh.
* Too much Halloween candy. (“Do these Milky Ways make my butt look big?”)
* Coughing. And coughing. And coughing. I’m over the moon for our kittens, but not feeling the love for these freaking allergies. *cough*
The good, good, goodness:
* Had an enormous breakthrough about how much energy my procrastinating costs me and figured out how to STOP doing it.
* And out of the ditch we zoom!
* Feeling close to renting studio space to start birthing these dances in my head into real life. *goosebumps*
* Almost have enough money for the Shiva Nata teacher training in Feb! Crossing my fingers for one of those two spaces to stay open until I have the money… if they’re not filled already.
* Registered for Zumba teacher training in December. My heart is doing the samba I’m so excited.
* The synergy of three happy souls when I hold my kittens in my arms.
Stars and sunshine to you all…
Ugh! Havi, I’m so sorry about the vomiting. Because really? Running things while puking is SO not good. Congratulations on not ACTUALLY puking, and on having the right sorts of people who understand.
– the hard
that damn barn door.
ANOTHER barn door, not really mine, but nearby and causing a major draft.
not sleeping well.
some levels of panic.
and a possible wardrobe crisis.
– the good
clarity around the immediate next right thing (thank you mastermind group!) and the means (even if they are a little scary) to execute it. You know that thing where the universe lines up behind you and shoves? Yeah.
last night’s sleep, what there was, felt restful.
people dropping by my online homes to say hello, and suggesting them to their friends. More Twitter people! And making progress on the Thing. Also? Collaboration conversations, chances to guest post in fun places, and lots of Biggification thinking (perhaps Asheville’s atmosphere is leaking out). Enjoying this part Very Much. Can begin to see things I didn’t know were on the horizon. Eeeep!
peace and goodwishes to all.
* I meant not actually puking on people. Condolences on the actual puking.
Oh sweetie,
Vomiting is SO much worse as an adult. And then having to try to teach while still feeling sick. Oh, ugh!!
Gentle, not-too-squeezy hugs for you.
Sarah
Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry to hear about the food poisoning! How awful! I hope you’re feeling much, much better by now.
Okay, Chicken, let me ponder…
Hard stuff:
-Someone I love has seemed fairly critical of me this week. For that matter, I’ve been pretty hard on myself at times.
-Too much busy. Far too much busy. I am aching for down time. Somehow, those long drives between work sites don’t feel as much like down time as they once did. They just feel like part of the busy-ness now.
-Something I’d been putting off for months shifted abruptly from “I’ll have to do that soon” to “Well, it’s too late now.” That was awkward.
Good stuff:
+I had a beautiful, powerful, magical Samhain with family and friends.
+I get to sing Handel’s Messiah this coming weekend, and we rehearsed with the orchestra this week — love!
+Oodles of journaling.
+Shiva Nata while holding ribbon streamers! 🙂
Rather than banning puking, I say we ban food poisoning. Since puking is the (albeit horrible) solution to food poisoning.
Oof. Overwhelmed and such.
The hard:
Fourteen hour bus ride, with no meal stops. Usually long distance buses stop at restaurants, this one only stopped at the border which had street food and snacks.
I had an argument yesterday with a close friend which I think was a substitute argument for some other gunk we need to work through. Emotional stuff he doesn’t deal well with. Not sure how to proceed with this. Slowly, I guess.
The Good:
I launched my mini challenge e-course, Getting Friendly with Social Media. And Yay! People signed up! Wheeee!
I’m in Granada, which is lovely, and I can do all sorts of stuff, or nothing at all. Wonderful.
Also, it’s November, and still cami and skirt weather. Central America has its perks.
Getting ready to get some coaching for the site and considering some general business coaching as well.
Looking at doing a jv product too. Lovely opportunities, they are appearing.
Yuck on the puking from me, too. and the sick computer. We all missed you this week.
So for chickens…
The Hard:
Old patterns popping up at home and with regard to working here… Mostly about must do everything myself and must do it perfectly… Hard to keep myself from beating up on self when this comes up…
Had to cut my hair off last week for a show…and I look horrible in the platinum wig that goes with it. (See good)
Dance classes were cancelled this term for lack of interest. That’ll teach me to forget to hang posters because of other stuff…
Still being told by other designers that needlework is a dying industry (then why do I see more and more people embroidering in public?) And that tech writing is also a dying industry… where does that leave me, with talents in both of those fields? I don’t really believe those diagnoses, but it’s hard to ignore them.
The Good:
I’m recognizing some of the old patterns, even if they aren’t the patterns people around me would like me to recognize and work on.
The show was a hit. Many many compliments, and I’m getting much better at accepting them.
Troupe meeting last Wednesday to brainstorm next abomin…er routine to inflict on local audiences.
The shorter hair looks good on me. I’d prefer about 2 inches longer, but it’ll grow to that.
I think I’ve wrapped my head around where to lean with the needlework business. I don’t really believe that it’s dying, but it’s been difficult to envision a different direction. Like tech writing, it IS changing. And that’s not a bad thing.
Here’s to chickens, and here’s to next week!
Adding to the sympathy-vomiting pile. Or something similar that sounds less disgusting once I actually write it down.
The hard:
– time shift and feeling weridly out of whack
– frustration and weirdness
– hormones running amok
– being incredibly tired
– things just not going smoothly
The good:
– hallowe’en
– fun day shopping including purchasing a giant furry hat and an alice in wonderland t-shirt
– hmm…I’m sure other good things HAVE happened – I just don’t seem to be able to remember them right now. Friday evening brain.
Oh, Havi. I’m so sorry you’ve been illin’.
I was beginning to get the shakes myself without your blog this week (though I enjoyed your older posts). Safe return! xo
Chickening-in, trying not to chicken-out because facing the hard is hard…!
The hard:
– physical struggles, which I always worry are caused by mental strain (and some definitely are)
– “poor me, wahh!” leading to avoidance of things I want to do
– the “Still Not Done” Blues
The good:
– went to thesis research group meeting despite the “Still Not Done” Blues (yay for courage!)
– I’m helping people, which always makes me feel awesome! It reminds me of how I want to do this for my Main Thing when I’m done my Current Thing, and gets me excited to make the transition! (uh oh, the Blues are back…! quick! change the subject!)
– Shiva Nata is going extremely well, even if its effects are mostly subtle… I just feel so good laughing when it goes bad, and also good when I see myself getting better! I think my epiphanies are also getting more intense (they were already frequent before I started Shiva Nata, though not often terribly useful) especially the insights into myself and what I need in order to turn some of my hard things into solved things.
– I figured out that my guilt is more like regret (still sad, but neutral in judgement), and as such it can be a warning not to let more regret happen, or it can be a way to help decide between things: if I’m considering doing something that I won’t regret if I don’t do it, do I really need to do it now if there is something else that I might regret not doing? (Convoluted? Sure. But it makes sense to me, and feels so much gentler than the previous guilty-guilty-guilty!)
Whew, wow, lots of good! I guess my week wasn’t as bad as I thought after all, and it’s not quite over yet, so I’m going to do a little bit more to help turn that “Not Done Yet” Blues into a happier ditty. 🙂
So very much sympathy for the sickness, Havi. You are amazing to have done what you did while feeling full of uck.
As for my week…
The Hard
~ Lots of random bouts of tired. Despite getting plenty of sleep.
~ Getting overpeopled and feeling faintly nauseous and dizzy, like I had way too much of some richly sweet food. (That’s right, my friends are candy.)
~ Dissatisfaction with physicality.
~ My partner broke his sleep schedule, so I’ve had to sleep alone more than I like, and I’ve worried about him getting enough sleep to do well in class (the one he’s taking and the one he’s teaching).
~ The body is not okay with its feeding schedule, despite the fact that I just took steps to make it easier on both of us. I’m not sure what to do but outlast the flail and see if the initial reaction fades or if it persists and requires another change.
The Good
~ I gave myself total permission to rest and relax and do nothing after a run-run-run! vacation of awesome-but-busy. And it felt really good.
~ Picking up my guitars after five days away from them. I could have played Kitten (my bass) all night.
~ Awesome dreams last night! And now I’m zinged up to train in martial arts again. And a coworker gave me a lead on an affordable eskrima instructor. 😀
~ The start of NaNoWriMo! And the fun! And the writing! And the feedback from my partner and sister! Happies all around here.
All in all, pretty good week. Hoping for more energy and creative productivity next week.
Happy Friday, chickies!
You are one tough cookie to still do your orientation despite all the upchucking. I still remember my bout with food poisoning – those memories just don’t fade.
On to the hard:
– Students grumpy with my grading of their exams. Teacher grumpy with the stupid answers some of them wrote.
– Too damn dark in the morning. 12 days in a row of having to be a slave to the alarm clock. NOT happy making.
– Annual physical exam time. Weigh more than this time last year and am exercising less. Great….. NOT.
– General exhaustion. Trying to survive the three weeks until my spa escape.
Looking back at the good:
+ I have a spa escape booked and it is only 3 weeks away!
+ My doctor is very gentle and was very supportive and NOT critical
+ Time change this weekend. 1 extra hour!
+ No alarm clocks this weekend! Happy dance!
+ Good review session with a student yesterday who actually gets why I grade the way I do. For the record, no one flunked the exam. Only 2 C’s and those will be offset by lab writeups.
+ Much continued progress on research statistics
Hearing hoping we all get a chance to recharge over the weekend!
Oh Havi… so sorry for the sucky timing on getting sick. Not that there’s any good time for food poisoning, but seriously- right before retreat… Not fair!
Ok so chicken time:
The hard:
Feeling very lethargic this week. Moving in slow motion. Not sure anything of any importance got done.
Interruptions everywhere… maybe another reason I don’t feel like anything got done.
The good:
Lots of little piddly things got taken care of. Halloween stuff put away, finished a few projects that had been hanging around for a while.
Kitted a set of handwarmers (think mittens or gloves with no fingers). It was fun to have a quick project that I could actually finish in a few hours to balance out the scarf and sweater that I’ve been working on for what seems like forever with no end in sight!
Cheers for the Chicken and the chickeeners!
Oh, the yuck of food poisoning 🙁 Much heartfelt sympathy, and wishing you lots of tasty goodness when you’re all better!
Let the chickening commence!
The Hard:
* Traveling… for so many hours it hurts to think about. Had to get up at 7am to finish cleaning the house I just moved out of, then hit the road to drive for 6 hours. Then hours of waiting at the airport for plan to actually leave… then the flying, with hardly any leg room, and definitely no comfortable way to sleep, for almost 12 hours. Followed by 2 hour layover (napping, yay!) and another 6 hours of flying. Then waiting for the bus, and an hour of bus travel, before finally(!) reaching my destination.
* Jet Lag, which I don’t seem to realize I’m suffering from, until I stop suffering from it. Not sure the suffering has stopped…
* Sleep schedule of non-existence. The jet lag does crazy things to the sleeping. I’m still not acclimated to the new time/day zone, and sleep is showing the effects 🙁
*Missing people I know… being here is amazing… but having NOBODY to share it with is… less amazing.
*Feeling like I’m spending too much time online, and not enough actually experiencing this trip. Feeling like I *need* to be doing touristy things, so that I can live up to what other people think this trip should be about
*Guilt over not doing the stuff I *should* be doing (in the sense of, it’s the stuff I told myself I would be doing)
*Feeling a whole bunch of not even knowing what the hell I’m feeling /sigh
The Good:
*Hello?! I’m in Thailand! For six weeks!!!
*The food, it is to die for… I could just spend the next six weeks eating, not going anywhere or seeing anything, and I would be happy
*The heat is fabulous… sultry warm, but not killer hot
*Missing certain person less than I thought I would… still missing, but not the crushed/weeping/heart ripped out of my chest missing that I WAS feeling
*Realizing that I actually somehow raised enough money that I can do this trip and not run out, or be totally broke when I get home
*Found super-cheap-but-clean accommodations/food, which helps with the not going broke on this trip 😉
Anywho, it’s time for breakfast I think (it’s Saturday morning here… no cartoons, but the food makes up for it!)
Happy weekend everyone, and may next week see more Good than Hard 🙂
Havi,
I’m happy for you getting thru the urps and finally feeling better!
Please post pics of the pirate duck and the zombie spa duck when you get a chance!
(“Cucumber Eyes” — isn’t that the name of a band? only it’s just one guy!)
The Hard:
– Third week feeling like I was getting a cold (3 different exposures, probably 3 diff viruses!) – bleah.
– A favorite cousin with a new job she’s having problems with; I can’t make it better or get her another one!
– A friend facing a scary medical treatment while out of work; ditto.
– Supporting metaphor (mouse) for improving my living room clutter has helped but there are still piles of stuff to deal with!
The Good:
– Full blown cold has not shown up! Got lots of sleep and drank toddies and soup!
– I hadn’t seen the friend for five years … we’ve reconnected. Yay! And, apparently some of the info I’m sending her (like fluentself.com) is helping her spirits.
– Finally ordered my new glasses after breaking the old ones three weeks ago.
– Tomorrow I will get to watch the Breeders’ Cup horse races (this is like the World Series to me) while working some more on my clutter piles. Incentive: One pile started per race.
Sparklepoints to everyone!
I want to echo all & say: Dang I’m so sorry you had to deal with food poisoning & its attendant uckiness.
I have a couple friends who play a goofy/groovy band names game with me.
One Fave example: The Palatial Oysters,
Chicka-Chicka-Boom-Boom!
THE HARD:
Had massive miscommunication/misunderstanding with a friend; I felt wronged and disrespected and hurt.
Had major writing slump.
Beat myself up for the above.
My son has been very sad and angry about the loss of his two best friends; they both moved away in the same week. I sometimes feel @ a loss as to how to best help him.
The insurance company still has not begun to pay out my long term disability benefits. Someone @ my employer’s end gave them incorrect info and I had to track down all the kooky pieces and players.
THE GOOD:
I decided to practice the idea of “I’d rather be happy than right.”; I mustered up as much of my better self as I could and thought about the friend with whom I was having the conflict with compassion. I apologized for my part in our troubles and told him I missed him and our friendship. It was amazing! I felt better as soon as I did it AND he immediately softened and apologized for what he saw as his part.
I’ve reunited, via email, phone, and twitter with a friend from college with whom I had not heard from in over 20 years. We’ve been having a great time connecting and catching up. She has “adopted” my son and has been sending him special mixtape CDs designed just for him. She also sent him a Halloween costume he really wanted which I could not afford.
I began however minimally, to post on my blog after almost two weeks of silence.
My son and I have had simple good times together:picnic on living room floor, dvd marathon, recording voice drops for a friend’s mixtape.
Happy Weekending!
Maura Alia Badji
The Moxie Bee
Sorry about the hard and glad you feel better!!!
For me…
The hard:
Trying to go Paleo for 30 days and struggling with cravings for coffee with cream and sugar and whipped cream on top with chocolate shavings.
Voting and not even getting a sticker. And people I voted for losing.
Trying to rent a house and having to deal with a crazy landlord who asked us if we were felons and let us know that sex offenders could not rent from him because he is near a school. Do we look dodgy or something? He also had a weird reaction when we inquired about a garden–saying that he tries to be openminded about different lifestyles? The hell?
Sleeping for 12 hours for no reason. Processing?
The good:
Renting the close-to-perfect place! With normal landlords!
Proofreading an amazing manuscript for a client. It made me happy.
Going to Minneapolis to hear Jake Shimabukuro play. He rocked that ukulele!
Finding a new home for an article that was killed (without kill fee) by an unethical publisher.
Yay.
All this barf talk is making me head for the Pepto. Hope you’re feeling better today!
Hard:
The waiting, as Tom Petty says, is the hardest part. Everyone else who is graduating with Marty has been getting job offers. Waiting for his. Might need that “bag of fingernails” from the old Texas A&M comic strip at any moment.
DD#2 spilled an Italian soda on her laptop. She was told it was hosed, by even my tech guy (ran into him on the street the night it happened). No clue how we were going to fix that one.
My body knows it’s going into the shop and decided to act out this week. Cyclical things were late and then really extra painful, as if it knows that could be the last time we do this dance together.
Slightly freaking out at the realization that this could be the last time I do that dance with my body.
DS#2 hasn’t been doing his school work. He graduates, or is supposed to, in June.
I have had no desire to work on NaNoWriMo this year. I have the concept, have about 1K words, but it’s just not coming out like it did last year.
Good:
That amazing box of threads that arrived from Kreinik. Lots of fun sewing. Lots and lots. 😀
DD#2 was able to start her laptop yesterday, so we have a reprieve from trying to figure out how we were going to fund a new one for her.
I tried on my jeans that were too tight last year and they not only fit, but are a bit baggy. Hooray!
I was able to hang out with two of my friends at Donkey on Wednesday.
Even though the novel isn’t moving, I was able to hang out with my NaNo tribe from last year.
DS#2 finished school and we have two glorious weeks of guilt free studio time. 😀
That should have been DS#1 hasn’t been doing his school work. DS#2 just finished 5th grade 🙂