So normally the Chicken happens every Friday when I write about the hard stuff and the good stuff from my week. And occasionally on Thursday..
We also have a yearly chicken tradition, that started with the big crazy Chicken for 2008 and continued with the Great Chicken of 2009.
We review the hard and the good: what was challenging and what was fabulous. Because a little symbolic closure never hurts.
Chickening the year a day early? Oyvavoy.
This year the 31st of December falls on a Friday, of all things.
But after a long and completely absurd internal debate and much Talmudic-style parsing, it became clear that even though the Yearly Chicken should probably trump the Friday Chicken, NOTHING TRUMPS THE FRIDAY CHICKEN. Tradition!
So here we are. Doing the Great 2010 Chicken one day early. I like to think of it as preparing.
The hard stuff
May.
Well, really April and May. There was just this really stressful period for a couple months there when we were waiting to close on a space for the Playground, and worrying about Hoppy House, and then waiting for a really important piece of news. Gaaaaaaah.
It just seemed like everything was up in the air. And the waiting. Agony!
If the hard of life is graduate school, as we decided it was yesterday, this was an advanced seminar on the topic of faith, trust and hanging in there.
Sick.
Getting absolutely wiped out in Asheville — while teaching — and then the recovery taking way too long.
And other forms of recovery.
So we got rid of the disastrous bookkeeper from 2009, but whole chunks of this year were spent sorting out that mess.
So much residual crap from old decisions were still mucking things up. And then my own frustration with that was its own form of fuzzy monster.
Very hard.
Trust.
We discovered that we had someone on the ship who wasn’t trustworthy.
But we didn’t have a back-up plan or a replacement or a plan.
The First Mate and I were not in agreement about the best way to handle it. I’m pretty sure that his way (don’t do anything until we have someone who can cover all the bases in case anything goes wrong) was the best way.
But it was very uncomfortable for me.
The elaborate and much bemoaned passing of Mack the Wife.
Mack the Wife is my laptop. Last name: Book-Air.
Now Mack the ex-wife.
Her unfortunate demise complicated matters hugely for me in a number of different ways.
A harsh and unexpected personal attack.
From someone I really care about.
A new roof is expensive and a pain in the ass.
And noisy.
It also took longer than it should have, and if only I’d just planned vacation for that week because it was very unsettling, and the whole thing was kind of a nightmare.
People will be in their stuff, no matter how many ways you give them to get out of it.
I don’t really have anything more to say about that.
Conclusion-jumping: apparently now an olympic sport.
This seemed to be the game of choice for a lot of people in my life this year.
And I have no patience for it. Frustrating, painful and really unnecessary.
Doubt.
And reassessment. The various identity crises that go along with that. Because change is hard.
And the good stuff
The main bit of good is that the hard was less hard than last year.
So much less hard. I hadn’t realized that until just now, and am starting to feel extremely hopeful.
Getting the Playground!
We got the space! It is amazing!
It is huge and beyootiful. Very magical things happen there.
And there are zombie apocalypse juice glasses. And pretzels! And a hammock!
I am in awe of the Playground and everything that happens there.
Also, having a space to teach saves us so much time, money and administrative hassle. It’s kind of outrageous that I never thought of this before.
Rallies!
I wrote this post and it was an idea and a seed.
But little did I know that the thing that emerged — the Rally (Rally!) — would change everything.
I am massively in love with rallying and with everything that happens on Rally.
Pirate queen holidays.
One of my primary business and personal gwishes this year was to not go on Emergency Vacation. And, in fact, to avoid it like the plague.
Scheduling in regular holidays and excursions really helped with that.
Especially the extra week of writing time in Taos.
Speaking of which, Workless Wednesday!
Even though it took most of the year for the tradition to stick…
And even though I still only manage a half day…
This is progress. This is good. I love Wednesday.
Drunk Pirate Council.
Where all the decisions get made.
The moment we decided to stop having “weekly meetings”, everything got better.
Long live the monster coloring book.
This may be my absolute favorite of all the things I have created this year. Or at all.
Madly in love with the monster coloring book.
Sponsoring Roller Derby.
Even though my beloved Guns N Rollers had a rough year.
Supporting them is awesome. And it’s the shivanautical thing to do.
Plus brain training on skates!
Not having arm pain.
And not having to use Stu to write the blog.
The absence of pain is a beautiful thing.
Retreat! Run away!
The Week of Destuckification in Monterey and the Week of Biggification in Asheville were so much fun.
I want my whole life to be like that. Smart people, enthusiastically working on their stuff. With hilarity and laughter and play.
And old Turkish lady yoga. It was so incredible.
So many wonderful things, really.
Living in Hoppy House. And eating Hoppy House sourdough and drinking Hoppy House beer.
Good neighbors. Dear friends. Bright, capable, creative students and clients. The incredible people at the second year of the Kitchen Table.
Okay, 2010. I think we’re done here.
Just like last year: the best part is still this blog and all of you.
The commenter mice and the Beloved Lurkers. Having a community of caring, loving, curious people. It is a very sweet thing.
And if you wish to play in the comments, hooray! You can chicken your year or make up words or drink celebratory things from tiny little goblets. Whatever you like. It’s our party.
Wishing you support, strength, grace, comfort, inspiration, sovereignty, and safety. May 2011 be full of beautiful possibility. Love, love, love and more love.
— Havi Brooks & Selma the Duck
Follow
First off–WOW…
Second: Conclusion Jumping as an Olympic event- love this.
In our house it was a big THING! And we called it,
“JTC-ing” (as in Jumping To Conclusion).
Now it is a joke.
The finger wags and we call it-on ourselves, on each other.
But we laugh.
Ha- now we can get medals!
And just to conclude (a different kind of JTC) thank you for being here Havi with your process and your pirate ship and of course you too Selma! Much love back.
I’m having a hard time finding the brain to review the year right now. I do know that it was the beginning of a lot of movement in the right direction on my Thing. Sometimes, I got overwhelmed. But I think I can see how to keep it moving in the direction of Awesome while staying safe and true in the year ahead.
Does anyone else hate New Year’s resolutions? I have all of these small, useful tweaks to the way I do things that I’m hoping to implement soon… but they are because of the reading and thinking I’ve been doing, not because of the culturally-mandated, moralistic-yet-defeatist Improve Yourself This Year drive. I know I’ll need to spend extra thought and time and caring on reminding myself that I can mess with my patterns this time of year without it having to be a Big Deal.
And yes, thank you Havi (and Selma) for running this thing! So much of my reading and thinking lately is because of your blogging, and the destuckification book 🙂 And thank you for maintaining a blog that feels so cozy and speak-up-able.
Havi, thank you for…oh, so much! Your loving friendship and steady support. Your presence in the world. This blog. The Kitchen Table. Dance of Shiva. All you create.
And for: Play, fun, delight, clarity, honesty.
May the new year bring you every blessing.
Love, Hiro
NOTHING TRUMPS THE FRIDAY CHICKEN.
Ahhhh…you have made me very happy. Such peace I feel, reading those words.
Chickening this entire year feels challenging, but I want to give it a try.
Hard:
-Financial freakouts in the first few months.
-Continuing to slog through my doctoral program, often having no idea whether I will ever complete this, often not sure I even want to anymore, only knowing that I still believe the pros of staying the course ever so slightly outstrip the cons. It’s a close race, though, and may remain a close race from now until the one-way-or-the-other finish line, unless something changes. Hmm. Yes, hard.
-The ups and downs of parenting an HSP while being an HSP. Oh, it’s highly rewarding and satisfying at times, but of course it’s also sometimes painful and often draining.
-Hosting weekend house parties several times this year, while feeling so chained to the chores of dishwashing and general upkeep that I was scarcely able to relax. Bleah.
-Feeling the desire to drop some of my current projects and embark upon new ones, yet overwhelmed at trying to figure out how it could be possible. Second-guessing myself.
Good:
+Solid, strong, supportive, and utterly inspiring relationships with my two partners and my daughter. We are a fine little family.
+Making a plan to improve our financial situation, and seeing it begin to bear fruit.
+Progress, palpable progress, on the doctoral stuff. I finally completed my preliminary exam, as well as a first draft of my dissertation proposal.
+Many moments of creative expression, great and small. I’ve been singing, playing, writing, acting — and drawing, too, which is not one of the things I consider myself to do “well”, yet I’m really enjoying it, and gently wondering about possibilities.
+Many unexpected, grace-filled moments of profound rest and peace. I could easily become hooked on these, in a very healthy way.
And now, I raise my tiny crystal goblet, meet your eyes and whisper “thank you!”, and sip my tea. I have high hopes for the year to come, and am so grateful to have you — all of you — here beside me.
Nothing beats Friday Chicken; not now, not ever!
Gosh! The idea of the entire year is just.. mind-boggling.
So just labelling the important months.
The Hard
July.
I had one week in July where everything was so bad and fail and wrong. All my issues came up and no one was here to fall back on.
Just fail in every way and let’s not dwell on it.
All the bad from July – November related in some way to that July.
-PTSD times.
-Depression times.
-NO SLEEP times.
-Fear.
Everything shook and all my systems, my book-of-me-lessons, my support and everything i thought i knew about the game… all crumbled.
The Good
December and March were best, I think.
Out of the funk from July. All stuff from July now resolved ^_^
Plans for the year ahead, though it’s scary.
New support & a new gameplan – more levels for the fox!
I’m stable and ready for another year 🙂
So bring it on!
Big hugs to all mice who’d like a hug 🙂
Dear Havi, dear fellow chickeneers,
Just want to say that I am grateful to you, Havi, for having created this space; I love the ritual. And thank you all for chickening along, it is great to see so many familiar names most Fridays.
Right now I am not in the mood for a chicken so I will skip this one but not without wishing you all happy chickening with lots of good for 2011!
2010 Chicken? Oh me, oh my.
I’m just going to gloss over The Hard. Falling for a dumb boy, being forced to have a responsible relationship with money (some of you may laugh, but that’s a bitch of a lesson to learn the first time it happens), and frequent battles of unworthiness due to being overwhelmed and my issues of perfectionism that nearly border on the psychotic.
Now The Good…in slow, sensual detail:
-I made the proactive decision to treat my writing and all of my other talents as a business; something that can feed both my stomach and my soul. Though I haven’t achieved complete lift off yet, I’m MILES away from the person I used to be.
-Recognizing that I have A Thing and that it not lame simply because it’s mine. In fact, that’s what makes it awesome.
-Acquiring a new friend turned business partner. It’s so exciting to have someone who shares many of your strange visions and goals.
-This is going to sound so “kiss ass”. I apologize for anyone who wants to hork, but finding this site was a landmark moment in this year. Havi’s incredible insights made me rethink all of my self-bullying ways and helped me to understand PROCESS. It also helped me come up with the chutzpah to get down with Shiva Nata, which has now become an essential morning ritual for me. Between that and the Dissolve-O-Matic, I’m finally getting to know myself in a gentle, appreciative way. Plus, this site led me to other freaking RAD people! Like Hiro’s beautiful blog and her library that I adore listening to while chilling in savasana. Ooh, and the IttyBiz blog; Naomi makes me want to drink martinis, wear camos, and bark orders to a team of minions who are at my beck and call. Oh, is my megalomania showing again? Shite.
Cheers to all of the Commenter Mice and Beloved Lurkers. I hope that 2011 brings all sorts of wonderful opportunities and gwishy goodness to everyone here.
Oh my god, the year.
The hard
Together. Apart. Together. Apart. Together. Apart. And finally, really apart. By the end, just having a decision turned out to be more of a relief than “trying to make in work”.
The truck, dying in a spectacular and terrifying fashion. And then taking the whole year to fix.
Getting something going. (And then watching it not go very far. (l’sigh))
Sick kittens.
Losing beloved, sick kitties. RIP: Anubis, April 28. RIP: Ashe, May 4.
An old puppy besides, who went blind in May as well.
In fact, May sucked.
The storms, especially when they try to kill me. So much fear and scary and not being able to stop the screaming panic. Or the two weeks of intensive, dedicated self-care it took to pull me back out of there.
Not writing! Letting arms heal. So much frustrating. (Still not doing too good.)
The good
My mum went back to school. At 40-something! And made it a real priority! YAY!
No dental work! (Not that I don’t need it, but unless it is killing me, I refuse to go. And it is not. Yee-haw.)
Three kittens, who make life just a joy and brought everyone together.
Football! Yay!
Decisions! YAY!
Finding Havi. Ohmygod levels of Y-A-Y!
And VPAs! (Which have made everything so much better.)
And Shiva Nata, which is slowly healing my arms. YAY! YAY!
And getting something going, which got me out of my funk and has made me want to try other things even if it doesn’t work out.
And the separating! Finally!
And the ease of it, because we’re both cool like that.
And stuff moving forward and sideways so quickly that I don’t even recognize my life anymore and thank god for that.
Okay, now I’m in love. Who knew the year had been so full of good? Blah mood made happy.
Now Year? Bring it on.
(THANK YOU, HAVI!)
Havi, finding your blog and falling headfirst into everything here – your words, this culture, these wonderful people – was one of the highlights of my year.
I’ve already done a personal 2010 review, and since it’s not nearly as happy as I hope 2011’s will be, I’m going to tuck it away in a drawer and let it hibernate indefinitely. Instead of looking back, I will celebrate the future by drinking hot tea and breathing deeply of this space that your wisdoms have helped me create for myself.
Thank you so much.
2010 was quite the roller coaster ride. Thank goodness it’s over. I can’t take much more of this.
Hard
– My dog died.
– Endless househunting and related financial stress.
– Moving house.
– Forgetfulness.
Good
– Birth of my niece.
– Not tutoring any more.
– Adopting a new dog.
– Our wonderful new home.
– My best art show ever.
I very much look forward to chickening every week, even if I sometimes don’t get to it until Saturday. What an extra-special bonus this week to chicken the year.
The hard of 2010:
– Slogging through lots of ickiness early in the year, residue of bad past decisions that needed to be cleaned up.
– Lots of hard for many of those near and dear to me: accidents, illnesses, stucknesses, family dramas, etc. I want to *fix* things, but I can’t.
– More stalling than progress on some projects I really wanted to see completed, or at least started, this year, and lots of frustration around that.
– Overwhelm was, well, overwhelming at times this past year. My 2009-2010 focus on flow helped a bit with dealing with it, but there were still times I just wanted to curl up in a ball in the corner and cry.
The good and awesome of 2010:
– Lovely wonderful lightness after paying off the last of the old debts and shredding papers that reminded me of a really difficult time in my life.
– More and more really interesting editing projects to work on this year. Delightful clients.
– Continued growth and success with my jewelry line, and a really fun new direction under way. Feeling very energized and excited about that.
– Finally learning to pay attention and be realistic about my capacity and my boundaries. Recognizing that just because I’ve done something in the past doesn’t mean I have to continue doing it in the future. Putting velvet ropes into place — and having them work.
– New friendships. New opportunities.
– Another year with my delightful husband, whom I love more than ever.
I raise my glass to my fellow chickeneers, to sweeping away the hard of 2010 and celebrating the good, and to a fabulous 2011 ahead for us all.
Not ready to Chicken the year. Please hold my Chicken. I’ll be back for it.
Here’s how I found you, Havi:
I was all set to start a blog and wanted to see what was already out there. So I googled “Yoga Blog” and found Everything Yoga, which had an affiliate banner of yours, which lead me to …the treasure!
The Fluent Self: A yoga blog which is not AT ALL about yoga …but is! But not!
TFS: It’s a business blog which is not about business (but is), a self-development blog which is not about self-development (but is), a spiritual insights blog which is not about spiritual insights (but is), a humor blog which is not about humor (but is)…
So I just wanted to say thank you for so many things, but most of all for keeping it real. You and your family have contributed SUCH sweetness to my year.
And for my 2010 Chicken?
The Hard and Good were intimate bedfellows. In fact, they rolled about so much that half the time, I couldn’t tell which was which. Leaving my job -> More time to think and read and write and reflect and get my hands dirty. Mom’s injury -> Daily phone conversations with her, featuring many chortles and gafaws.
Hospice training. Teaching kids public speaking skills. My tiny, sweet thing: The Yoga of Living. My beloved, whose sacrifices have made these possible.
With love and respect to all the brilliant, sensitive souls who gather here- rupa xo
OMG what a year it has been. I had enough stuff happen to fill 3 years. Glad to be putting this one to bed soon. I had a revelation during the night that the events of this year were similar to playing one of those crazy variations of Solitare (think Spider with two suits) where it is often impossible to get the cards to align in order to win the game. All you can do is reshuffle the deck and start all over.
The Hard:
– My boss quit right before the semester started in January. That is the short story – the back story can’t be shared and finally came to closure after almost 3 years of emotional stress. As a result of his departure my workload doubled overnight.
– I had 44 straight weeks of doctoral classes. Seriously.
– I taught two classes to the group of students who were nearly impossible to engage in the classroom. Spent most of the semester feeling like I suck as an instructor.
– The scale is up over 15 pounds since the start of the doctoral program. Stress, lack of sleep & too much sitting on my ass in front of the computer are NOT good for my health.
– Too many residents died in 2010. They are my extended family. OUCH.
– Underestimated the amount of time required for a research project that I landed. So much for enjoying any time off this summer.
– Wacky, whiny students. Too many stupid things happened to even begin to list them. Let’s just say that I will be glad when a few of them move on next summer.
– WTF? & seriously? became stock phrases in my life during 2010. Need I say more?
The Good:
+ With the departure of the boss, my position was finally was made full-time. The extra money has stopped the drain on my savings.
+ Got a great new tenant who took over the majority of the office building we own. Big help with the expenses.
+ I was able to keep our program running and even started some new initiatives now that I no longer worked for someone who felt threatened by my proactive nature.
+ I have some awesome new students in the program who are fantastic with our residents and enjoy helping out in the lab. They are making me enjoying mentoring students again.
+ The research project is coming to a close soon. The long hours were worth it as the student who assisted me the most landed a great job thanks to the experience he got this summer.
+ Our kitties are the best ever. The older kitty is getting much braver than when she first came home in 2009. They keep me sane and make me smile morning and night.
+ My husband keep things running smoothly on the homefront while I was working and going to school seemingly 20 hours a day this past year.
+ My high school friend who re-entered my life after 30 years. A safe person with whom I can share the madness that is my life these days.
+ My dissertation prospectus and committee are approved! Let the writing begin.
Bye, bye 2010! Hello 2011!
Havi, thanks for being on my “The GOOD” list for this year, and for being a catalyst for several other “The GOOD”s and for a lot of what I expect in the new year.
2010: I hardly knew thee.
Or at least, I hardly remember thee. I don’t know why. I think I was on auto-pilot for most of it. These past few months have more than made up for it with AWESOME.
The HARD:
– Massive travel for work in 1st QTR.
– Excessive spending in 1st QTR.
– Busy busy with photography, personal travel in 2nd QTR
– Personal drama in 2nd/3rd QTR.
– Not making as much progress on debt as I’d hoped.
– Work drama/stress all year long.
– Gaining 20lbs. Again.
The GOOD:
– So many new friends.
– My redecorated lovely apartment.
– Learning more about what makes my body tick.
– Finding Fluent Self in 4th QTR! The turning point!
– Personal drama turning into weird amazing friendship.
– Getting inspired to revamp my career.
– The most awesome simple Christmas ever.
– Getting totally enthused about my business.
I just wanted to say that since the start of “Beloved Lurkers” I’ve felt this amazing relief from the (internally-created) feeling of pressure to comment so I could be part of this blog that I love so much that I almost always read the posts before they even show up in my feedreader. And I can’t remember where or when it came about, but thanks thanks thanks to everything responsible. I love being a Beloved (mostly) Lurker.
xo
Havi,
I can’t believe a whole year has gone by already! I love reading your blog, and if I haven’t said it already, CONGRATS on the Playground! Sounds amazing. Hope to see it someday.
Yearly Chick’hm:
The Hard:
1. those hard months when girlfriend was in physical pain. hospitals. worrying. (all better now)
2. too much output without adequate rest and processy time.
3. the deep dark debt
The Good:
1. released new album!
2. LOTS of fun times with friends, family and girlfriend.
3. “self-friendship” – thought about what that meant all year long. helped me to work through stuff. thanks for that idea!
Here’s to a Happy New Year!
Cheers
~Christine
@emilylime — Me, too. Thanks for saying it so well.
The Hard for 2010:
-Still don’t have a handle on a big icky tax problem. Stuckness abounds.
-Last full year of my 34-year job, more and more unfulfilling. Agency is moving, I’m not. If I could have afforded to, I would have retired a year ago. (The Procrastination Monster is undoubtedly involved, too.) Could be that I still can’t afford it, but I’m out at the end of January 2011.
-Feeling guilty/scared about seeing post-retirement as a new opportunity. And more scared about possibly not using it well.
The Good for 2010:
-Sore shoulders and neck are better after much acupuncture, massage, and physical therapy. Found someone to continue with vision therapy after original Doc moved to Memphis.
-My wonderful cousin from inland Oregon moved herself and her daughter to Virginia, only 90 miles away. Yay!
-Found Havi’s blog! And numerous others which are speaking to me very clearly about the new opportunities and what I might do about them. Thank you all!
-Plus got my Monster Coloring Book, Procrastination Dissolve-O-Matic, and ordered the Shiva Nata DVD. Awesome!
Happy New Year to Havi, Selma, and everyone.
A chicken for a whole year. Wow.
The Hard– mostly related to uncertainty about What’s Next after Day Job kicks a bunch of us to the curb at some unannounced time in the theoretically near future. Although I can’t see how they can without certain other people having to, you know, actually work or something.
The Good —
I don’t remember how I found abcCreativity, and I don’t remember how I found Fluent Self, but I’m glad I did. Andrea made it okay to dream again, and you made it okay to be panicked about those dreams, cuz hey! monsters! and walls! and ick and ack!
Signed peace treaties with some of my monsters and checked some dreams off the list.
You weren’t on Facebook, so I had to join the Twitters.
The Very Best —
I think I have a glimpse of What’s Next now. A huge thank you to everyone who gave me nudges in the right direction.
Happy New Year Everyone!
I’m not feeling up to chickening my entire year, but I’ll definitely join the chorus on this one:
Havi, finding you has totally been one of my highlights. Thank you. 🙂
I love “Conclusion Jumping.” Sucky and always frustrating…but also an important reminder to myself! Well chickened, Havi. Imabout to do some mental chickening myself now. Woot woot 2010 and thanks for your words!
Wow, a chicken for a whole year. Wow. I had to go back and review my planning file that basically has everything I did every day. Reliving it.
The hard:
Partner’s sudden severe interwoven medical problems and the Hospital That Did Not Help.
Our grown daughter is out of touch and almost certainly doing seriously unsafe things. Hardest: nothing to do about it. Send my love out into the darkness.
My hip nerve pain, on and on.
Tribulations of partner’s little school. Remembering to be there for her but not take it on.
Three different circumstances combined to make way less income than usual. Scary.
My dad’s incurable cancer.
The good:
Oh good, I like this part better.
Collaborating and performing with my duo partner Paul. I’m amazed and thrilled over and over. Mutual respect, easy communication, creativity surging higher than either of us could do on our own. Lucky lucky lucky to have found him!
I wrote and performed my first song. People cried. This has been a dream for years and years.
Our duo opened for my favorite local band (250 people in the audience) and had our first full evening gig. I never want to stop performing!
Finding my powerful and expressive singing voice with help from wonderful voice coach Linda Leanne. Yay for coaches!
Finding a wonderful physical therapist/friend and easing the hip pain. Yay for helpers!
Starting exercise that works for me. Vigorous safe movement in the soft healing deep water.
Steady incredible supportive friends.
The ocean with my sweetheart in the summer.
Being able to help my dad with his Beloved Thing.
Barbara Sher’s workshop and my New Thing!
Starting my blog!
And I’m so glad I’m not the only one who has experienced finding this blog as a Major Good Thing. I mean, I feel like someone with a crush. Havi says… Havi does… Well, fine. You really have changed my life. Thank you!!!!
@Do Mi Stauber…
I wrote and performed my first song. People cried. This has been a dream for years and years.
This made me smile from ear to ear. I’m right there with you. 😀
Wow.
I am so blown away by the intensity of warmth & love I felt reading each 2010 Chicken… So huge, but so difficult to express! Words, failing, etc.
Like Rupa, my hard and my good seem to be inextricably linked. I started writing them out like the usual Friday Chicken, but it just didn’t seem to fit.
Am now curious about what is different (for me) in an overview of a year from an overview of a week that means I find it impossibly difficult to break the year down into hard and good. But also too cold-heady to think about it in any more depth right now – on’t back-burner it goes.
Anyhoo, before my brains melt away entirely – my deepest gratitude to you all for being part of this awesome community that brings me so much everything. And a thousand thank yous, Havi, for creating and inspiring this brilliant, shiny, safe space.
Adorations,
Reba x
The Hard
Falling in love and having him pull a runner. Also, realizing that I probably pick the guys who are likely to run on purpose, in my own commitment phobe way.
Having my mother quit talking to me when I decided to leave the US.
Still not knowing what is up with the stuff I left at the consignment shop. Six months later.
Doing things I know will hurt me later, but enjoying the now too much to stop.
The Good
All the doing I’ve done to stretch my comfort zone
Meeting my Best Friend
Writing again
Setting up a Facebook page for The Social Caterpillar
Deciding to turn TSC into a business
Traveling
Starting my own weekly ritual: One Tiny Thing Thursday and the getting done of things that I keep putting off.
Chickening twice in one day? Awesome. 2010 has be as weird as.
The hard:
– stressful personal situations
– the ill – being in agonizing pain for June and July as my foot was damaged, and viruses of doom in April and December
– also, not taking care of myself at all, and only making the ill a lot worse
– weird man situations
– my little brother having serious sick
– work truly sucking sometimes
– my ma – feeling constantly pressured and that I shouldn’t be myself
– not enough time
– never getting to perform my burlesque. Sad, I put so much effort in too.
– Getting stuck in the wanting what I can’t have situation – even though perhaps I’m the only one that think I can’t have it. (Erm, not sure if that makes sense.)
– weirdly and inexplicably losing confidence in photography
– a few really bad mental health moments
The good:
– Becoming so much happier and more comfortable in myself
– And better at acknowledging and communicating what I need and want
– This blog and Havi – seriously, I have learnt so much and my whole outlook has changed through reading your blog and your books. Thank you. 🙂
– Berlin! Awesome.
– Starting my novel. And keeping on writing it.
– Doing a photoshoot as a model. Never, ever something I thought I would do and it was so good.
– Clearing what I didn’t want out of my life
– Practicing yoga, learning a lot and finding a fabulous teacher. Who also owns a fabulous independent coffee shop. Win.
– Shiva Nata, and bing, and getting arm muscles.
– Having a much healthier lifestyle and feeling so much better for it
– Dealing with some of my money issues, so I actually bought myself some lovely and useful things without being consumed by guilt
– All the good times I’ve spent with my friends and family, often laughing like a crazy person
– Christmas!
– Actually seeing and feeling my blessings instead of forcing myself to
– Seeing one of my closest friends fall in love with a wonderful man and them being all happy together. Yay.
– The continual hilarity, cuteness and badness of my cats.
– Spending all year living by the sea.
– Despite the hard, I have improved as a writer and learnt a lot from my masters.
– Discovering some incredible authors
I’m sure there’s more good in there too. I’m excited for 2011.
the hard:
struggling in a community i might not choose to settle down in again, and dealing with loneliness waves over and over again. not a fun ocean to surf in!
stupid, stupid financial decisions, or rather, lack of decisions/ thoughtfulness. those came to bite me in the ass more than once.
having to re-re-reconsider what my life needs/ goals are vis-a-vis the rest of the community: aka, why aren’t you married yet? you’re such a pretty girl…
being far away from the friends i’d like to see every day
listening to monsters far too often, and not in the good way.
the good:
taking EFT training–life-changing
watching myself grow, in small delicious ways
becoming more practiced at my job, so that i actually had moments of clarity and capability
volunteering at 2 remembrance courses, and watching and being part of peoples’ lives and change
journaling more and more regularly
finding yoga again
positive relationships with every member of my family–such a blessing
using EFT to release so many patterns and energy heavyweights that i thought were just locked in–and being able to help others do the same
i don’t know quite how to put this–but knowing more and more about ME, and what i like/ value/ want to create/ contribute has made my life easier and richer at the same time. and that’s a good thing.
shabbat shalom u’mevorach!
While I’ve Chickened a couple or so times, I too, am overwhelmed with what happened in 2010, so much so that all I can do is join in with the throng and sing —
Yay! for Havi!
Yay! for Selma!
Yay! for Hiro!
Yay! for the Pirate Ship!
Yay! for the Lurkers, and the Mice!
and most of all –
Yay! for the New Year and ta ta to 2010!
Here’s to all finding the wonderful in the new and release from the old no longer needed.
Thank you, Havi. And Selma.
oof – not so much for the 2010 review. Guests were over the last couple days and we had drinks last night and between the four of us (two couples), we managed to come up with three good things (for each two people) that had come out of 2010. And, for us, two of them were related: Bought a house and moved to Portland. No ER trips for me. That’s about what we could scrape together. It was a Most Trying Year. I’m strongly considering playing the Lentil game of things that don’t suck tomorrow. Perspective: I need it.
But I am home and happy and not at some chaotic SF party. I went to a hockey game tonight and it was fun, and now I am safely home. That would make four good things for 2010.
At least it’s something!