Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my Sunday ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!
Let us dooo eeeet.
Thing 1: noise-isolating headphones!
Here’s what I want:
I love writing while sitting in a cafe.
That is, I love it when the background noise is a general undifferentiated low-volume clatter-chatter-thrum.
But loud-talkers and arguers and what seem to be therapy sessions in progress have been taking over my favorite places to write.
I would like to find the kind of headphones that keep that kind of noise out. And some sort of carrying case.
Ways this could work:
One of you could give me a recommendation.
Magic of the internet?
My commitment.
To be patient with my HSP-ism (Highly Sensitive Person, go read the book!).
To take the necessary precautions to avoid hating humanity. (Work at the Playground, keep earplugs in every jacket pocket and every bag, find a new cafe.)
To think about the variety of useful meanings of the word “isolate”.
Thing 2: Fairy lights.
Here’s what I want:
Or x-mas lights or hot pepper lights or pirate lights.
The Toy Shop at the Playground needs something to make it even more sparkly and shiny and wonderful, and I think this would really help.
Ways this could work:
Maybe one of my blog readers has some they would want to donate.
Maybe we can find some on Craigslist.
Or I might wander by the perfect place and there they are!
My commitment.
To appreciate sparkliness and lighting-up in all forms.
Thing 3: The Shiva Nata teacher training: I need your help!
Here’s what I want:
I just found out that someone from the Shiva Nata teacher training can’t come. Sadmouse! So much sad.
And in addition to feeling sad for her because she can’t make it, I am also feeling conflicted because re-announcing a thing once it’s full is a huge administrative hassle.
I and my crew need to do other things but we can’t do other things when we’re re-announcing.
So. Asking for a quick and easy resolution to this. Smoothness! Ideas!
Ways this could work:
Someone who really, really wanted to do the best teacher training ever but didn’t make it because it sold out could raise their hand!
Could definitely be someone who doesn’t even slightly want to teach but just wants to get way better at generating moments of bing and doing the brain scramble thing.
Another idea? Something else? Perfect simple solution? I hope so.
Wheee!
My commitment.
To wish loving and sweet things to this wonderful Shivanaut (I will miss her!) and to the lucky one who gets to come instead.
And I am going to respect my time and my capacity, and I am not going to announce this or write a post about it, other than telling you here.
So my gwish is that the VPA brings us the person who will rejoice over having the chance. And if it doesn’t I will ask for some systems tweaks instead.
Oh, and to give you the link again. It’s here. I know it says it’s sold out, because it was, so please send a note to the First Mate if you’re interested.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
The biggest thing I wanted last week was for some announcements to happen. But they couldn’t happen, because it turned out that there was a good reason for not announcing them right now.
We also wanted improvements for the Playground Toy Shop, and amazing things have been happening with that.
We moved one set of shelves out, one set of shelves from on top of a desk to the floor, and flipped another bookcase on its side.
So now everything is super low to the ground, and it feels way better.
Then we put up a bunch of Mary’s lamps, some bowls of candy, and put the library somewhere else. Awesome. Thank you.
Then I asked for movers, and found some. And linked to Tobi’s project supporting Donna’s Good Things. No idea how that went but yay Tobi!
Thing 4: Trust.
Here’s what I want:
I’m in a bit of a trust crisis right now. Ready to find my way out of it.
Ways this could work:
The usual way. Destuckifying!
I can negotiate with monsters, and process the process and dance the patterns and do what needs to be done.
My commitment.
To give myself time, patience, permission, appreciation and seclusion while I’m in this.
To remember that whatever I’m going through is legitimate and understandable.
To talk to the resistance instead of resisting the resistance.
To find out what is useful about being stalled. And to take baths, bounce, walk, stretch, move, nap and cry as much as I want.
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
Stuff I’d rather not have:
- The word “manifest”.
- To be told how I should be asking for things.
- To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given unsolicited advice.
Wishing love and good things for your Very Personal Ads! I’m so happy to have people doing this with me.
Follow
Hello Havi, a respectful lurker here.
For the headphones, I personally swear by the Bose
QuietComfort 3 headphones. They are smaller than the usual noise canceling headphones and I find them lighter and more comfortable. While they aren’t cheap, I wear them so much (with 3+ hours of public transit a day) that they’re really worth it.
However… a point about noise canceling headphones. The way they work is to take the waveforms of the sounds around you, and literally invert them (the “canceling” part). So, they are best at canceling constant sounds, like the hum of an aircraft engine. They aren’t so good at canceling out loud intermittent sounds.
That said, I have the same problem you do. So what I do is use my lovely headphones, and put something like ocean sounds or really mellow music on. The noise canceling means I can keep the volume low and protect my ears, and the other sounds mask the sounds I don’t want to hear.
Hope that is helpful to you…
Hi Havi, check out sennheiser.com, and then the headphones listed under travel line. Someone mentioned to me a while ago that they are brilliant (and expensive…). Good luck with you and everyone else’s VPAs.
I am not sure how much time for VPAing I will have in February so I am writing a VPA for the whole month that will begin in a couple of days.
I am working for a place that is celebrating a big anniversary during almost the whole month of February. This means lots of work but also lots of fun and it is a privilege to be part of the whole thing.
I am asking for energy and health to cope with all the work and with everything that is a challenge for HSPs, I am asking to find a balance even though there will be little time and space for the things that nourish me and recharge my batteries and I am asking for sufficient calmness and awakeness to really enjoy the whole thing. And I am asking for focus and graciousness to deal with the literally hundreds of people that I will come across.
How this can happen:
I can keep checking meticulously on things that are coming up and need to be planned and verified in order to avoid potential “disasters”. I can tell myself that most “disasters” are not really disasters and can be resolved. I can just have faith that many things will just fall into place and that we have organized them in a way they will just happen smoothly.
My committment:
No time is not an excuse, I will fit in my little 10 minute yoga sessions in the morning and evenings. I will go to the market twice a week and buy veggies and cook soups that I can take to work so that I don’t have to end up buying yukky canteen sandwiches. I will have early nights in the evenings that I am not working or watching performances. I will feel not guilty on somehow being out of touch with the rest of the world for three weeks.
It is *so* tempting to just say I’ll go to the teacher training! So, so tempting… and yet, not quite so simple.
I’ll dance on it. Again.
Darlings,
I have been VPA-ing my heart out in all kinds of places. (My massage practice journal! Other online spaces! My head! Talking to the ocean!)
And it is working reasonably well. I have a mostly-solution to the internet frustrations of being in this beautiful place. Vodafone to the rescue!
I have clean laundry! And a stable place. And will probably get to see my sweetie in March. And am experiencing my word of the year in so many ways. (Prosperity prosperity prosperity!)
My life is lovely and full in many ways.
And yet, I have VPAs.
1) Spaciousness. Because our school schedule is fairly full of things, and then there are grocery trips and cooking and eating and wanting to be in the beautiful out-of-doors. I want spaciousness of time and resources. I have spaciousness of space. I now need to expand that.
ways this could work: I could get little containers to bring my lunch in. I could leave earlier so the walking is not rushed. I could buy more groceries at a time, especially if I will be cooking for housemates, too. I could be clear about what I do and don’t want to do with said time. I could make a schedule for shopping and things so I don’t end up going to the store every day. My housemates and I could buy a LOT of water all together.
My commitment: to continue to enjoy cooking. To re-find the Indian grocery store. To sleep lots and luxuriously, even if it means lunchtime naps. To attend to myself.
2) the thing I haven’t done.
I need to do the thing. For the sake of others and for the sake of myself.
Ways this could work: I could do it.
Um.
Hmm.
Ways this could work: I could talk with the monsters. I could just do the next right thing and let it unfold. I could remember the other purpose of the thing.
Commitment: to talk with the monsters. To remain open to the possibilities. To let my brain work on it while I’m doing other things.
for now thatisall.
Havi, my sweet son, James, gave me a pair of Sony MDR7506 professional studio monitor headphones that filter out pretty much all background noise. They’re big and they announce themselves, but they’re very comfortable.
Wishing you tranquility, trust, and light in all its forms, including sparkly lights for the Toy Shop!
My VPA this week:
For the Right People to fill the March session of my Become Your Own Business Adviser program. I’ve been so busy with other things, that I haven’t yet announced it.
My commitment:
To make the announcement to my newsletter list (today!), and post it other places where the folks this program is meant for will see it.
To bring all my skill, wisdom, heart and resources to this session of the program.
Wishing you all the miraculous fulfillment of your VPA’s, and a very happy week.
Love, Hiro
I used to spend a lot of time commuting 1.5-2 hours each way on buses where people thought they needed to have loud personal cell phone conversations around me.
I looked into the Bose Quiet Comfort headphones, but as Jennifer said, they mainly work to cancel out the background hum rather than the loudly varying noises (the jet engines but not the screaming baby on a flight, for instance).
Instead I got Etymotic earphones, which are like earplugs but with a tiny, awesome speaker in the middle, and which block out all the noise around you and let you listen to your music at quiet levels without trying to drown out the noise around you.
I’ve had mine almost 10 years, and I still love them for helping me focus and concentrate, although a definitely don’t wear them say, when I’m walking near traffic, because they’re too quiet to be safe then.
Last weeks VPAs have all more or less happened – have all my uni stuff ready to send off, have backed up my laptop and sorted skin camo stuff. Awesome!
This week:
VPA 1: I want to find a the perfect chest of drawers for my room.
How this could happen:
– like my mirror, I’ll come across the right one
– I could ask for recommendations from friends
My commitment:
– look around
– don’t buy something horrible just because it’s cheap
VPA 2: Monster negotiations – I’m at an impasse that I want to move on from.
How this could happen:
– use the Monster colouring book
– dance of shiva
– sleep on it
My commitment:
– to allow it to take time
– to allow myself time to work on it
VPA 3: I want to practise my burlesque routine. It’s been months!
How this could happen:
– I could set aside some time
– I could go listen to the music RIGHT now!
– I could see if there any lurking monsters
– it just will
My commitment:
– it doesn’t have to be perfect
– remember how happy I feel when I dance
VPA 4: Victory rolls. I wanna practice!
How this could happen:
– put aside tomorrow night to practice
– trawl youtube for tutorials if I get stuck
My commitment:
– admit that I feel a bit superficial about wanting to practice hair styles but it doesn’t make me a bad person
– get all the stuff ready
To be honest, these are probably the most fun VPAs I’ve ever posted… Fabulous.
VPA #23
Update on last week!:
I asked for rituals. I got those. The Shiva Nata and labyrinths have moved to an “as needed” basis, reliant on me paying attention to my body and mind. Yeah, that means I have to pay attention, which means I have to watch my patterns, but that’s okay. This is something I want to be able to do anyway.
And anyway, taking the stress of remembering those rituals has allowed me the space for my writing and music to take hold. (And maybe other things, that I don’t know yet.)
I asked for real rest. I didn’t get that. At all. But I did get some insights into why.
I asked for some progress on my sweet little thing. That happened. After taking a couple of days off to really consider my situation, I decided to take a hiatus for my current project and start a new one. My sweet little thing can continue on, and I can be less stressed about it.
This week!:
Thing 1: An end to stress and panic
What I would like: to find a way to healthfully and nonviolently cope with my stress and anxiety, in a way that puts my IBS at bay.
Ways this could happen:
It just could.
Any one of the emergency calming techniques I know could work.
I can ask if there’s anything that makes me feel better right now.
My commitment:
To pay attention.
To not jump to conclusions.
To not make assumptions.
To check in with myself regularly the
Thing 2: A workout
What I would like: A way to work out that doesn’t set my IBS off.
Ways this could happen:
I could find some information on how to manage IBS. (Not likely, but worth looking again.)
I could try different things and see what reaction it has.
I could try doing my favorite things slowly.
My commitment:
To not give up.
To take excellent care of myself and the meantime.
To move the painkillers and the bathroom.
Thing 3: Foreign languages
What I would like: To figure out why learning foreign languages seems to give me migraines. I get the same headaches when I try and learn science, which is very frustrating to me because I like to learn. I don’t know why my brain seems to care about the subject matter, but there it is. Maybe a pass to do with strain?
Ways this could happen:
I could start studying again and pay attention to what happens.
I could ask around about it.
I could hear a story somewhere about someone who went through a similar thing and how they took care of it.
My commitment:
To not freak out if I don’t get answers.
To keep trying and looking.
Thing 4: A sustainable living
What I would like: A way to make money and support myself that doesn’t revolve around relying on my family or on my miraculous recovery. Schedules are out of the question. So is anything that requires typing. (I’m using a version of Stu right now.)
Ways this could happen:
I don’t know.
No really, I have no idea.
I could ask my wonderful support group for ideas.
My commitment:
To not freak out.
To take as much time with this is I need.
To not feel squeamy about asking my family for help.
Hello all here I am again, with adds and my mammoth partner in crime.
My awesome idea that I have talked about with very important people (people I trust) is growing in a way that could be real real really real way.
-What I want:
To remember that I am awesome and can do this (llama talk there), to not freak out and talk my self out of it (and there, thats another talk) and not let this rad idea fall by the way side from being complacent (that is one too)
– How this could happen
To nurture this idea in ways that make sense to me, to write down on paper ideas that come to me so I have solid, filled with science, fox worthy ideas of cunning where I can see and also hide them. To keep on being joyful of this beautiful idea, beam it love and awesome direct from my brain.
-My commitment
To talk with my Llamas, cranky, spitting monsters they are they are also smart and full of fuzzy warmth.
To keep on writing stuff down on my tumblr, my awesome idea book and notebook of notes.
To dance shivanata with my llamas and ideas
Havi, I think you’re aware of my EXTREME sound sensitivity. Like Jennifer, I highly recommend the Bose Quiet Comfort noise cancellation headphones. I use the QC15 model because I need wrap-around-the-entire-ear protection (even if I feel incredibly dorky wearing them), and I also do what she said and run soothing sounds (rainfall, lapping ocean waves, etc.) through them to help drown out the intermittent noises.
Expensive? Hell, yes. But for me, it’s the best $300 investment I’ve EVER made. And they offer a payment plan which, if I remember correctly, charges no interest as long as you pay it off by the end of the plan.
Feel free to let me know if you want more information, but these have been absolute lifesavers for me.
I like Sennheiser headphones, the kind that fold. They aren’t specifically noise cancelling, but they are good and comfortable headphones that will muffle things nicely and when you want to listen to stuff thru them the sound is amazing.
On the fairy lights, I have two sets of the multicolored ones that I didn’t use this holiday season. Happy to box and send them to you unless someone closer by hasn’t already volunteered to pass some along.
Havi, trust crisis sounds hard – much love <3
Here's what I want:
Clarity on a painful decision. Some people I love really want me to do this thing, and someone else I love would really hate me to do the thing, and I'm so stuck in my fear of being the rope in a tug-of-war that I can't work out how I actually feel about doing the thing!
Ways this could work:
Time.
Thinking.
Shiva Nata.
Prayer.
God could send me a letter telling me what I should do. Maybe by carrier pigeon. Maybe not. 🙂
My commitment:
To do Shiva Nata on this daily and pray about it daily until I have a decision.
To listen.
To remind myself that I'm allowed to take as long as I take.
To remind myself that this is about my needs, not about pleasing others.
To play around with NVC, monster talks and other Fluent Self-ified tactics.
To trust that the world is not going to end whatever I decide.
To accept that this is stressful for me, and go easy on myself while I'm deciding.
Forgot to say! Gwishing for everyone’s VPAs to be answered in the best way possible! 🙂
Thing 1: Getting everything done that’s needed in the next 24 hours so I can retire.
What I want–
-To be completely calm, relaxed and focused.
-To finish all the retirement paperwork, organize it, and get it checked and mailed.
-To submit all the last project documents.
-To wake up and get to my first appointment tomorrow on time.
-To finish all the other appointments, cleaning my office for the next person, etc.
-To get some rest afterwards.
How it could happen–
I could stop obsessively checking my emails since I will have access again in a couple of days.
I could check the checklist and make sure I have everything on it. I could check things off as I finish them. (What a concept!)
I could sleep in a different room with two alarm clocks.
My commitment–
Take deep breaths. Use the timer for checklist items. Take Shiva Nata breaks. Remember I have tomorrow afternoon to finish boxing stuff to take home.
Thing 2: Start the rest of my life!
What I want–
To keep a schedule, even though it should be flexible.
To find inexpensive ways to be more social now that I will have time. To still include hibernation in the schedule.
To do exercise again.
To start eating well instead of conveniently.
To find many ways to give back to the world.
How it could happen–
-I could start writing my Book of Me about these wants.
-I could get my fuzzy monsters to help me on some urgent projects since I will have time to talk to them.
-My friends could help me. I could make more.
-It could just happen!
My commitment–
-Exercise before breakfast at least five days a week.
-Write up a grocery list and shop for fresh food once a week. Cook with it!
-Devise a schedule and watch how it works. Adjust.
-Fill out my volunteer forms. Call about music lessons.
-Write in the Book a couple of times a week.
-Be grateful.
Dear Havi,
I have Audio-technica QuietPoint ATH-ANC7b noise-cancelling headphones. Very good and cheaper than the Bose option. They make it possible to listen to quiet music on the train. I love them.
Love m
Huh, you’re a cafe writer. I think part of me knew that, somewhere way off in the periphery, but it’s still a baffling phenomenon to me. Writing where people are talking… just not something my HSP brain is wired for. More power to you and good luck with the headphone search!
I would like to finish revising all my product descriptions in my shop by the end of the month, aka tomorrow. It’s a mind-numbing, lengthy, code-filled, detail demanding endeavor that’s taking much longer than I expected. But I can’t get into my account at the moment which is actually a bit of a relief, so…. there’s that.
Perhaps my ask is really to not beat myself if it’s not done before Tuesday while not letting that be an excuse to slack off. Hmm.
How? Keep after the pieces, the small repeatable tasks. Even if I can’t get to my account, I can finish prepping my files in advance so it’s just copy & pasting. Don’t lose sight of the details though!
Commitment: patience, breathing, breaks as needed. Also appreciation for how much I’ve already accomplished. Some totally useful system hacks have come of this and that’s awesome.
Best to everyone’s VPAs!
Thing 1:
I’m back to wanting armature again. I’m in the same place for six weeks, so I’m going to start with sleep. With biphasic sleep to be precise. Starting tonight.
Ways this could work:
setting my intention to wake up within a certain time frame.
set an alarm in case I don’t
my commitments:
to seeing how this goes
to allowing for the tiredness that is expected in the first week.
to giving the experience a fair shake
Thing 2:
TSC is gaining momentum and so are my ideas for it. I want to keep the momentum without getting to where things are going too fast. If that makes sense. Really, even if it doesn’t.
Ways this could work:
keeping a to do list for two days in a row to visualize things and spread them out.
adding fun and self care to the list
doing an evening review to see where I am and where I need to be
my commitments:
to take breathing time when needed
to get a frozen yogurt soon. (they’re really popular here)
to taking time for me in the momentum of it all.
to experience the joy of watching something I’m creating grow.
Update: Last week I asked for spaciousness and got it in emotional and physical ways.
Report on last time’s VPAs:
I did much better with the piles of iguanas, I mean puppies. I reformatted my Mindgenius This Week file so it just had each puppy, and I put giant DONE branches on them when I did each one. I also used Nowdothis.com.
The medical thing is about the same, but I didn’t hide from it. New treatment arrived so I’m hopeful it will be okay.
What I want #1: For the thyroid to be what I need, and work to fix the Sleep Swamp.
How this could work: I could be right that the fact that every female member on one side of the family takes thyroid is a sign. It could just be the right thing.
My commitment: To be patient and not invent things changing because I want them to.
What I want #2: To index most of my next book (about the Virgin of Guadalupe! Fun!) this week. And not put it off.
How this could work: I could start today. I could trust myself.
My commitment: To work on it every day even when client sessions and handouts and websites are more exciting. To trust that when I’m far enough into it I will be in that joyful place where I’m weaving a beautiful tapestry.
Hey Havi,
Just had to chime in here–with the headphone question:
Klipsch S2 headphones–cheap, in-ear (so you don’t look like you’re wearing a headphone helmet out in public) and best of all–super good at canceling out surrounding noise.
Found these about a year ago, they rock, and YES!! they come with a little case. And you can fit them in your pocket since they aren’t massive over-ear phones. Super great, can’t recommend them enough, try them and you’ll see! (and you can get them for under $50)
Scribbled my personal ads sitting in a cafe next to a guy with a most unfortunate laugh, while wishing I had those ear phones, too — hope you find just the right ones.
And happy wishing to everyone!
Thing I want: Progress on decorating my place. I don’t think I’ll be living in a comfortable, welcoming sanctuary within the week but I could be closer. 🙂
Ways it could happen:
-I could notice how much better everything is when I’m in a space I like.
-The part of me who is always waiting for something else to happen before settling in could get bored and take a nap. Or tell me what she needs to feel ready now.
My commitment:
-To look through magazines and clip images, while also reminding myself that the point is to feel at home in my space–not to create some flawless magazine layout.
-I could play with pinterest.
-To visit Etsy for inspiration.
-To chat with the part of me who’s getting all shoutey about spending money. AND be open to simple, creative, inexpensive flourishes.
Thing I want:
I thought I wanted fabric for a sewing project (and I still do), but I realized what I really want is an easier, happier fabric acquisition process.
Ways it could happen:
-Someone could mention their favorite online places to buy fabric.
-Even though I resist ordering online because I want the fabric rightthissecond, I could notice that I resist driving to the fabric store even more. Which means that something could be delivered much sooner than I would eventually drag myself up there.
My commitment:
-To playdate.
-To decide on one more project and figure out how much and what kind of fabric I need.
Thing I want:
More integration of all things Rally+Playground.
Ways it could happen:
-Fractal flowers! All of these asks are so intertwined and add up to extra oomph for this particular wish.
-The natural contrast between this week and last could spark all kinds of ideas.
My commitment:
-To drink tea from my orange mug.
-To shake up my snow globe when I remember.
-To type up my scribbles and add to Evernote.
My first VPA, because it’s Sunday night and I am feeling blue.
I am feeling hopeless and resisting Monday.
What I want: To feel better
Ways it Could Happen:
-The Problem could go somewhere else
– I could go somewhere else, but this would be a last resort, and we’re not there yet
– Someone could reorganize and I could end up in a place where The Problem isn’t
– I could refocus on things that I like in other places
-Something else could happen that I don’t have the imagination to think up yet
My Commitment:
-To work on writing parts for three songs
-To practice the C scale on the mandolin & the uke for 15 minutes a day
– To do the projects-in-the-house exercise
-To thoroughly enjoy every moment that I am able to
-To forgive myself when I can’t
Wow, how wonderful to have these headphone ideas. Hmm.
In re: sparkle options, this is my favorite site for strings of happy things. I particularly like the strings of little paper lanterns. Also the star lanterns which I bought um way too many of for my office. Also red paper garlands. Also, well, anyway, there are a lot of cheery things to suspend from various points on the wall. http://www.lunabazaar.com/
Havi-
I just finished gluing a pairs of old, scratchy CD’s shiny side out, and stringing them up into a curtain for the alcove in my living room. It looks great! There are tons of rainbows in the windows, and they just plain look shiny!
VPA Update:
I wanted insight and plans for the program I’m applying for. I’m meeting my personal tutor on Wednesday. Hopefully that will help things.
Here’s what I want: Find the passage out of this maze
I’ve let everything get tangled up. I want nights full of sleep, days of productivity and to feel as though I have some string in this maze.
Ways this could work:
Shivanata.
Look out for passages/signs/options
Someone who has been here before could step in and advise me.
My commitment.
To try and stay in the moment.
To make lists and plans.
To go to bed early!!!
and also to remember that whatever I’m going through is legitimate and understandable.
Happy VPAing everyone. -hugs to all-
Updates on last week: The Perfect Clients are still coming, and I love them. Let’s keep that ad placed as it is very successful.
The Perfect Male Companion: that takes time, I know. Let’s keep that ad placed since it needs to brew a little longer. My commitment to leave my house and have my eyes open remains.
This week’s ads.
I think I’m stuck. I think this is what stuck feels like. The Bikini Roto process is what I think a monster or an Iguana feels like. I want to have it moving closer to resolution but there are things I need to do. Secret messages I need to compile and transmit. Envelopes I need to open. Caches of cash I need to leave where my guide can find them so she can lead me closer to safety. For Your Eyes Only dispatches that need to be dispatched. And OF COURSE it’s scary, secret missions and flights to safety often are, but the alternative – to stay hidden under the bridge is not a viable one. I’ve got to gather up my things and make a break for it, trusting my guide to cover me until we get to the helipad. Knowing the helicopter might make me queasy, but it will deliver me to the safe land. My commitment: 30 minutes this week spent on this mission.
Also, I want my body to trust that it doesn’t need to eat everything in sight. I want it to trust that I’m giving it what it needs and that hummus and pretzel thins are best in moderation.
Oh my how did I miss the VPA?
i want early nights and peaceful sleeps and feelings of ohhhh I’m so well rested in the morning. Tired of feeling tired and being unable to find words when I need it.
I’d like a surge of happy feelings in the morning accompanied by feeling well rested. Hmmmm. It feels like a lot to ask – but I wanna ask anyway.
I want far less uncontrollable crying. If i gotta cry or release please can it be much, much softer? Combination of Reiki training, the new Frank Sinatra practise (ummm thats Shiva Nata to you and me)and pmt had me feeling like a curazy lady last week.
Ooo I would like to finish my taxes. Soon, soon.
To do a little of the domestic stuff of an evening. To have the energy and inclination. Just a little!
To find my way back to writing by the end of this week.
I would like to find some gorgeous green items. A ring, bracelet – something to symboilise this ongoing transition. A celebration of being under a bridge!
Oh…how to put this into words?
With less than a week until opening night, we’ve been in rehearsals for Candide every day. Hell Week — that’s the often-used name for this final pre-performance push — but to me, it’s heaven. I am finding this such a joyful, empowering and fun experience, my eyes fill with tears when I stop to think about it.
What I want: More.
How this can happen: Be open. Look for the opportunities. Explore ways to create opportunities of my own.
My commitment: To continue savoring this current project. To let the joy and the magic fill me and fuel me. To let this be one of the ways in which I biggify.
I could use headphones too. Wireless ones would be beyond cool. Might there be such a thing for computer use, I wonder?
VPA 012511
Updates: I got a little creative flow, but not quite as much as I wanted. I did spend lots of time with my body – NIA, yoga, weights, walking! And made a plan for moving for the next 60 days that I am excited about.
#1: Beautiful, comfy workout clothes
What I want: To have clothes I love putting on every morning that I feel great in that I can wear while NIA-ing, or yoga=ing, or doing strength stuff or walking.
Ways this could work: I could order a bunch of stuff today from PrAna (40% off sale), and/or Title Nine (flat rate shipping). I could go to Ross or TJ Max’s and look for leggings and workout pants. I could order from Lucy. I could buy stuff at Body. I could start wearing my favorite T-shirts as exercise shirts. Someone could tell me an amazing place to buy yoga/workout gear. I could find a local place to buy stuff.
My commitment: Have this be fun and easy. Order or don’t. If I order from a catalogue, get Peter to make sure I return everything I don’t LOVE.
#2: Amazing, powerful, flowing coaching sessions
What I want: To feel fully present and connected during my coaching sessions. To feel a sense of synergy and momentum with the client. To feel like I am giving clients more than their money’s worth.
Ways this could work: I could practice putting myself in an optimal state before each session. Increase my sense of curiosity and play with the client instead of trying so hard to intuit and anticipate. Use my new belief breakthrough skills. Ask good questions.
My commitment: Curiosity!
#3 Videos 1 and 2 in the can
What I want: To have shot and edited videos 1 and 2 in my free series. No matter what.
Ways this could work: I could shoot one today. I could shoot one tomorrow. I could shoot one Wednesday. I could shoot one on Thursday. Wow, lots of choices. To make my best outline and have fun in front of the camera.
My commitment: Shoot one tomorrow.
ooo under a bridge, or indeed on a bridge…
that didn’t sound right!
Trust crisis; that’s exactly what I have going on that I could not but a name to.
But this week’s VPAs are not directly related to that.
The first is for the right subletter to find me and my apartment for the last few months of my lease.
How it might work is to chat it up among my acquaintances, or check the finders’ lists or maybe Craigslist it or some other way. Committed to getting it ready for that person as quickly and cost-effectively as possible.
The second is about all the decisions and packing I need to do to get the apartment ready for the subletter.
How it might work is to make decisions more quickly and act on them promptly about all this stuff that will not be available to the forthcoming subletter. That the hidden stuff will not have too many monsters lurking about. Keep talking to the monsters while continuing to work on the hidden stuff. Committed to really getting rid of stuff that is not contributing to my life going forward. Committed to executing not just planning.
That’s all for this week.