In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
I don’t care if Monday’s blue. Tuesday’s grey and Wednesday too.
Here we are.
The hard stuff
Preparing for meetings.
I’m getting better at it, but it still kind of stresses me out.
And it takes time.
And blech being a grown-up is stupid and annoying why should I have to have meetings not fair not fair not fair!
Yeah.
Trying to cram way too many things in before going on holiday.
Honestly, the first half of this week is a blur. It’s been a weird, disjointed week.
An anxious blur. The worst kind!
Why are there not more words for types of vacations?
I want to be on the kind of holiday that is just napping and staring out into space and walking by the water.
My gentleman friend wanted to be on the kind of holiday where you go out and see stuff. Museums! Tours of cool old houses!
I also like these things, so I was thoroughly enjoying myself, which meant it took forever until I realized that this kind of vacation wasn’t giving me the thing I wanted.
Can someone please share creative vocabulary solutions for this?
Astonishingly, this has only happened ONCE.
Managed to get locked out of the Playground.
In my slippers.
With keys, wallet and phone inside.
Had to walk thirty minutes to get home. In slippers.
Luckily, the gentleman friend was there to let me in, in my key-less state. And it wasn’t raining. And it hadn’t rained for a while so no puddles to jump over. Jumping is hard in slippers.
And I live in northeast Portland and not northwest, so walking around town in slippers wasn’t all that unusual. Mainly I’m just surprised that this doesn’t happen every week.
So many people I love going through the hard.
There isn’t anything you can do about it except to wish them love and comfort. And pray, if that’s your thing.
Intentional not doing is its own form of process. And it’s not an easy one for me.
Got a not-good-news.
And I can’t talk about it yet.
Vacation was way too short.
Leaving beautiful Astoria, Oregon this morning and totally sad about that.
Symbolic vacation is a start but really, all I want is more.
Onto the good, please!
The good stuff
All sorts of reasons for things not being awful.
It was Purim! I went for long walks! We (Guns N Rollers — the team I sponsor) didn’t lose by a million points at Roller Derby, despite being at the very bottom of the local league, for a variety of reasons, and that was good!
See? Good!
The meetings all went really well.
Lots of ease.
Everything went smoothly.
Everyone I had to deal with was lovely and accommodating.
The guy at the shoe store.
This made my week.
I went to get sneakers after mine died a horrible death.
The guy working there accidentally dropped four boxes on the floor next to me and then said, “Whoah! I’m throwing shoes at you! I’m so sorry! No one should throw shoes at you!”
Of course he had no way of knowing that I spend most of my time on this blog writing about shoe-throwing and reactions to shoes, perceived or otherwise.
At least I hope not. I mean, Selma was hiding in my bag. And I take pains to look nothing like my picture.
Anyway, so true.
Long walks in new shoes.
Interspersed with long periods of ketchup and consolidation, after all the things I learned and processed in the last Rally (Rally!).
VACATION!
Even a short holiday is still a holiday.
And this one was just beautiful.
Astoria combines everything I like: ships, water, ocean, river, boat-watching, beer.
I spent the entire time on the window seat, watching the water. And looking up all the ships that went by on my phone. Yes, I have multiple ship-tracking apps, because I am not only a pirate queen but a big dork.
Love love love love love love love. More, please!
Updatings!
Finally updated my LinkedIn page after oh, three years or something.
And made notes about other things that are to be updated. Soon.
This is exactly the type of thing that I hate and avoid, so ten thousand sparklepoints for me. I am calling this project Ketchup Daisies (not a band), and you will be hearing more about this soon.
Presents for the Playground.
Even though I didn’t find my mirror, in a town full of antique shops.
And even though I fell in love with a giant (I mean, giant) dragon sculpture and a larger-than-me-sized-but-not-giant zebra art, and couldn’t keep them, I did find a tiny dragon puppet that was perfect.
And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week’s band is:
Shrew Zen
And their debut album is called Spurning Without Spurning.
They’re playing in town all week. Except that it’s really just one guy. Thanks to @senseijames who gave me the name.
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day and a restful weekend-ing.
And a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s okay if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — you can join in whenever (or not!) and it’s no big deal.
Follow
Havi, you really made me want to hug you when you mentioned your ship-tracking apps. The cutest!
My hard:
-Couldn’t sleep Sunday night, which set everything off until Wednesday.
-Having a majorly hard time having sovereignty, not knowing how.
-I read this blog post talking about how people should only write blogs if they’re super-perfect, and it nearly made me cry. I think everyone should share their wonderful blogginess with the world! It makes me so sad that somebody would say that. Also, why the heck did I even click on that link?
My good:
-I love my wonderful, brilliant Twitter friends. Who are also, sometimes, in-person friends.
-Sleeping with stuffed animals in my arms. I do it. Especially this week.
-Amna’s Hybrid Writers group! It was hailing like mad, but I went, and it was so wonderful and exciting to write with people, in person.
-Lots of very yummy foods in my belly this week. Including the bok choy I made last night. Bok choy is definitely in my top five favorite veggies.
A wonderful weekend to all, lovely friends!
Havi, the thought of you flip-flopping home from the Playground in your slippers made me smile, and want to hug you.
Oh, chicken, it’s time to cross this road!
Hard this week:
– This isn’t hard so much as hilarious.
I’m moving next week, and even though I’ve organized things so that the move is going to be super-easy, I still found myself waking up in the middle of the night with lists of things-to-do babbling in my head.
In the end, I had to tell them–firmly but kindly–to return to the Land of Lists and make an appointment to see me in the morning.
Good this week:
+ I dove right into some big changes in my business structure, and have almost all of the back-end work done and ready to go live this weekend!
+ Found wonderful, perfect images for badges for my two new programs. Effortlessly!
+ The women in Become Your Own Business Adviser are taking my breath away with their depth, commitment, wisdom, and creative power.
+ My clients have completed exciting projects, launched new programs this week, and created such a flow of abundance for themselves and those they serve. Makes me very happy.
+ Spring has sprung! There’s a chorus of frogs outside my window every night. And my winter coat is too warm to wear now.
+ I’m moving, to a wonderful new house next week.
Hugs for everyone’s hard, and celebrating the good with you. Wishing you all a beautiful weekend!
Love, Hiro
Being a grownup is stupid and annoying. I can’t imagine how it ever got to be so popular! When I feel that I have to be one, though, I try to leave myself room to be the kind of grownup I would have wanted in my life as a kid. My mantra: “The world needs cool grownups.” It really does.
Hard:
–Ongoing pressure build-up of several issues that are likely to get very hard, very soon. Remember those (metaphorical, thank goodness) ticking time bombs I mentioned last week? Yeah. Those.
–An awkward and painful conversation that has me still feeling quite sad even days later. Plus, every time I see my favorite mug, I am reminded of the sadness, and that just seems completely unfair.
–One of my partners is depressed and irritable this week. (May I just whisper, quietly, in this safe space, that having two partners who both have mood disorders is really challenging sometimes? Oh, but I’m a moody beast, too, and I know it. Still.)
–Monsters telling me that I am screwing up in every area of my life. They’re talking trash, and crying doooooom.
Good:
–Remembering to try every tool, trick, and technique I can think of to deal with the rough stuff, including many that I learned right here: emergency calming techniques, procrastination-dissolving playfulness, monster conversations (and even cuddles), and a whole heaping helping of reflections on how Now Is Not Then.
–Channeling my gutsy, glorious Inner Surfer Chick. I am riding these waves. Wipeout? So it goes. Back onto my board I climb. It’s the ocean, baby!
–Feeling beautiful.
–Many magical music therapy moments with clients. Experiencing my superpowers, using them for good, and knowing that I really do make a difference.
Oh, and I am extra-thankful to the commenter (can’t remember now who you were, sorry!) who reminded me of last fall’s “We don’t need to be big” post. My special gwish for 2011 is all about biggification, and lately I’d been feeling pretty discouraged about it. It was good to have the timely reminder of what biggification really can mean, and what it’s all about for me.
Weekend, here I come!
Margaret! It was Margaret (@vivace1216 on Twitter). Thank you, Margaret.
The hard:
I was a teacher of a thing that didn’t turn out as well as I would have liked. Nobody else noticed, but I don’t like not having pride in my work.
hard and good @ same time
I was asked to sub this drama class for immigrant women. A little outside my comfort zone. But, I designed a class and it was awesome and I wish I was their all-the-time teacher.
When I arrived at the theatre, news cameras were there to do a story about the program. They wanted to interview me, I was caught off-guard, but still managed to find the right words and speak about drama work with passion. Then the news people were sent away because the guy who runs the school didn’t think the women were ready to share yet. Good and bad, lotsa growth.
good
got my degree in the mail. paper proof I am smart.
got a letter I need to send to tax people to get them off my back. yay!
got a new comic book from my husband. Spiderwoman!
The sun is melting snow and there are terrific puddles to walk through.
I don’t work saturday morning!
Names for vacations…
I think there are many names for vacations, like:
Retreat
Art Camp
Culture Touring
Reunion
Beach Vacation
Lost
Honeymoon
Walkabout
Spring Break
Recess
Sabbatical
Furlough
Artist Residency
…
Is it a…what day is this?
(Really? Friday? How does this keep happening??)
Hard.
-stomach ick this week.
-the Little Bird is sick with a cough that is disturbing me. Meaning, worrying-disturbing. She’s been sick a lot this year.
-having to sign her up for the kindergarten, and being late because I didn’t know about how it was supposed to be done (in February, apparently, who knew?) and getting lectured by the school people and feeling like a bad mom, etc. etc.
-deadlines…the Sisyphean nature of my work.
-the grumbler…the Sisyphean nature of that, too.
Good.
-got to see the man play at a nice theater. boogieshoes were on!
-finished knitting a cardigan, and it turns out to be probably the most flattering piece of clothing I’ve worn as an adult.
-the winter aconite is up in our yard (we have a later-than-everyone-else yard).
-driving home this morning to tend sick Tooty, three deer crossed the road right in front of me. I was going just the right speed to slow down and watch (instead of screeching to a halt while my life passed before my eyes).
holiday of napping and staring: retreat
holiday of going and doing: touring
hard
see good
good
Decided to take a break from hard this week. too much hard. i am sick of hard. so i gathered it all up and flushed it. boom. gone. at least temporarily. at least for now. because nothing is going to change between then and now, since these hards are beyond my control. for now.
plane tix to niece’s wedding purchased! a lovely couple! can’t wait!
my dogs, including my BeastieBoyOfMajorChallenge
the group singing from the kennel dogs brings me joy to the core. roo!
crazy internal shifts to which i’m giving credit for to shiva nata. maybe it’s not due to shiva nata, but that’s what i’m choosing to believe.
Well, I’ve had my good laugh for the morning about the shoe throwing thing. I’m still laughing. 🙂
Hard Stuff:
– My back decided to go all wonky *again* and it looks like maybe the chiropractor is right about this a long term thing. Depressing.
– I had to call so many people this week. But at least I’m no longer on call, so I can turn my phone blissfully off in between.
Good Stuff:
– All the info of “what my business is about,” which has been lurking below words for ages, finally came up into words so I can admire it and communicate it and play with it.
– Thirty entire people are going to practice Shiva Nata with me via the interwebs. THIRTY! I didn’t know thirty people had even heard of me.
– I get to move to Portland in early May instead of early June, which means more action and less sitting around wishing it were time to start preparing. It *is* time to start preparing! After ten years of wanting to live there, it’s finally happening.
The hard stuff:
– Stomach ick too this week (must be going around!)
– Work monsters distracting me with other people’s problems and gnawing at my Happy Bubbles, which were already feeling weak because of sick
The good stuff:
– Making birthday special for my Special Someone, in sweet subtle ways to balance my want to celebrate him with his want to not celebrate getting older
– That same Special Someone being extra special and bringing me care goodies from my childhood while I was sick
– When I was sick, I stopped! Didn’t try to work from home. Pulled the covers over my head, tucked a sheep under my chin, and let my body have real R&R for a change
Also:
I’d like more words too for types of vacations. Also for different kinds of love, and for the stages of relationships that fall between “dating” and “married and living in Bolivia”.
Also also:
Speaking of words, I think I just had a tiny epiphany (which in my mind right now looks like a tiny purple fluff with eyes). Writing the bit at the top about my work hard with metaphors made me feel better about it.
My tiny epiphany and I are going to get back to work now, but we wish you all a happy Friday-and-beyond 🙂
A holiday where you stay home and hide is a staycation. Right?
So I think a holiday where you go somewhere but then just nap is a laycation.
*The bad*
– someone needing me and i can’t help.
because i am not the right person.
because i am under too much pressure myself.
because the need was big and directed only at me
and. I. Am. Not. A. Therapist.
– tough conversation with the supervisor, who was full of doubt and scared and not helping.
*The good*
+ a great meeting. boundaries and clarity and passing on responsibility.
+ saying ‘no’ to new appointments. resetting the boundaries. creating space to work.
+ A deadline is coming. I loves deadlines (they come with the clarity and with boundaries).
SPACE
finally
YAY
HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE
I like having lots of words with very specific meanings.
The Hard:
-confronting my fear of singing improvised songs in public and developing panic from that and then feeling stupid for not respecting my own boundaries and then having lots of shoulds and have-tos and all the memories of my other fears surfacing. Yeah, that was no fun.
-finding words and images to describe what is at the heart of my problems. actually this is really good, but it felt soooo hard.
-writing application while totally resenting the process.
The Good:
-support and attention from my gentleman friend
-the calm I get when I enter the yoga studio
-Full blown Spring sun even though it’s just March, for most of the week. With no coat warmth and blooming trees. This is one reason I haven’t moved to Berlin yet, it’s still cold and grey there.
I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend 🙂
Just a general yay for this week being so much better than last week!
The hard:
– sleeping badly and horrible nightmares (are there any other kind?)
– some emotional bleugh as a hangover from last week
– weirdly upset stomach
– closing a door that needed to be closed, and the accompanying feeling of sadness and loss and even guilt…yet at the same time it felt right
The good:
– spring has finally arrived. Warmth! Sunshine! Yes!
– cider in a beer garden with my friend
– laughter
– finding some interesting researchy stuff
– taking some photographs I’m pleased with – something more original that I’ve done before
– somehow feeling more at one with myself, little by little
– exciting plans for next week
Have beautiful weekends….
“And I take pains to look nothing like my picture.”
That made me laugh so hard I decided to comment when I was just going to do a quick read.
The week has been full of near constant hard but I’m going to just mention a bit of good.
Saw a huge bear in my backyard! (yay since I didn’t see any at all last year.)
Vacation names! My family calls the going-to-see-things kind a “tourist vacation” and the napping kind a “lazy vacation.” (This works for me because I happen to love the word lazy, which sounds like spending whole summer days drifting in a canoe and eating watermelon to me.)
I also recommend “no-obligation vacation,” because it is very fun to say.
Chicken!
Hard:
– difficult piece of my past emerging and, er, being difficult
– big bucket of You Oughta Monsters about how I Oughta be handling that (but am not)
– lots of physical pain to go with the hard. Not helping!
– too much ow = hard to write = *sadface*
The good:
+ accidental plans cancellation = extra rest. That *is* helping.
+ genius past-me scheduled a massage this week. Love her.
+ there is music in my future! Love music.
+ maybe, possibly have found a yoga place that works with my schedule? maybe? please, world?
p.s. not laughing in a mean way, just to be clear. I totally get the desire to be incognito when out and about and often strive for it myself.
I dream of the ships that travel Lake Huron, it would be so cool to go back home to Michigan and see the ships and have that app.
@Emily, I can’t believe the Little Bird is old enough for kindergarten already!
This week:
Hard:
Yeast and bacterial infection from *that* place.
The meds were worse than the infection, stomach pain and dizziness were side effects from each medicine and they both hit with a vengeance. I spent a lot of the week in bed.
Having to close a door I wasn’t quite ready to close.
Marty missed passing the financial section of the CPA exams by 2 points. Major hard.
Good:
In the words of Buddy from Night Court: I’m feeling much better now.
Surprisingly, closing the door opened one onto something amazing. Kind of like in the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when everyone walks through the little door and into the room with all the amazing candy trees and chocolate river.
I had determined to make this week “spring break” so I wasn’t feeling bad for not doing my work.
I got a great new book at the beginning of the week, so I had something to read while I was in bed (“A Discovery of Witches”)
Rest. I think I’d forgotten what rest felt like.
Shabbat Shalom, y’all!
I haven’t chickened in an age, but I thought, why not?
The Hard:
– Yet more stuff making Big Client a huge pain, potentially less big, etc. More money stress. Yes, universe, I get it, you want me to leave Big Client. And yet, all these other avenues I have attempted to replace that income are still at a trickle, so I can’t do it (yet).
– Thus, I’m thinking of yet more ways to budget, so I can save up for the things I need to save for.
– Oh, Spring. How I love you. How I do not love the allergies. I love gin, and yet the juniper pollen, not so much. If my allergies keep getting a little worse every year, I can’t imagine what I’ll be like in another decade. Gah.
– Had a Minor Computer Panic yesterday, but fortunately thanks to my IT Hero it’s all better now. Permission: important for more than you think.
– Low energy for the past few days, but I have things that need doing for clients and myself alike.
– Cat barf.
The Good:
+ My comfy high heels are still comfy when not walking for hours on end in them! NYC gave me doubts, man.
+ Added a nifty newsletter button to AntemortemArts.com and an option to get the daily art posts as a newsletter. Got a couple of subscribers and everything, whee!
+ Getting a trickle of money from art.
+ My rent is covered, whatever else happens.
+ My 2010 taxes were well-covered, as well, so I don’t have too much money to scrape together for that, and I’ve got my first quarterly payment for 2011 already, as well.
+ I really like the art pieces I’ve made lately, though Pod is jealous that they’ve taken his place on my iPhone lock screen.
+ Cats are happy, healthy and cuddly.
+ Boba tea is never not awesome.
A Beloved Lurker transitioning to a Commenter Mouse here!
The Hard:
-Getting a nasty cough/cold on the first day back from Spring Break
-Developing a serious diarrhea problem at the same time
-The gross taste of the Chinese herbs I’m taking to treat said problems
-My body feeling like it had NO Spring Break at all
-Perpetually messy house getting messier
-Begin behind on my intern hours
-Eating stuff that I wish I hadn’t
The Good:
+Free Dutch Bros coffee this morning
+Getting a lot of rest
+Finishing a midterm and acing it
+Time to sit quietly at friend’s house, plan, pray & watch TV
+Checking in with financial adviser and getting more clarity about money management
+Drinking lots of water
+Trips to my favorite cafe inside a train car
+My cat who always comforts and amuses me
@Havi, thanks for the sneaker salesman story.
Wish I could see the dragon(s)!
@Elizabeth, “tiny purple fluff with eyes” … Love!
Chick chick — just a bit.
Hard:
-A shoe was thrown by my acupuncturist, for the second time, too. She didn’t remember the first time, and didn’t mean it as anything but helpful, but it invoked a normally-hidden monster who harassed me for the next 30 minutes.
-Achy joints, gah.
-No particular progress on decluttering.
The Good:
+Follow-up discussion with my acoupuncturist about the shoe went smoothly and she apologized. We talked about what would be helpful instead; I think it’ll work.
+Spring is coming, even though it’s cold and we may get snow flurries Saturday night. Starting to get green in the lawn and buds on the trees. Yay! Plus I read a really funny book about gardening (The $64 Tomato) which reminded me not to bite off more than I can chew in the garden this year, just to have fun.
Happy Weekend, everyone!
Friday I’m in love!
Okey dokey…
The Hard:
– It’s cold again. It feels like winter. Brr. Don’t like it.
– I need to do my taxes. My desk is buried under a ton of paperwork, which I started digging through today and actually *dealing with* but after several hours my brain was like “duh?” I’ll go back to it tomorrow.
The Good:
+ There’s a crocus blooming in my garden! Yay! And daffodils are coming up! And other green stuff! Woohoo!
+ I’ve made significant progress in organizing my studio, even though it probably looks just as chaotic as before to anyone but me. It’s progress. Really.
I have been chicken-absent for a few weeks so now I am chickening back not only for the last week but for the last three weeks that were incredibly intense.
The hard:
– One really big, major, gigantic mishap at work that caused an incredible amount of stress for 24 hours and that sucked all energy out of me instantly when I realized what had happened.
– The feeling of having failed and having done a bad job that came with the whole thing.
– Two 12 hour flights within 8 days, one of them an incredibly bumpy one.
– Jet-lag as never before.
– Light headed because of accumulated exhaustion.
– A somewhat unexpected confession.
– Fukushima.
The good:
+ Person my work mishap affected most took it great and tried hard not to make me feel bad about it.
+ All could be sorted out in the end, but it was a close shave.
+ A somewhat unexpected confession.
+ Being part of an exciting trip.
+ Spending time with my favourite people at work.
+ Made two people very happy with things that seemed little to me.
+ Sleepful times coming up.
+ Having Havi’s calming techniques on my ipod during bumpy flight.
+ Getting taken out for the most amazing and delicious food ever.
Oh Chicken. I need this chicken to just curl up with me in a quiet nest in the hayloft somewhere and cluck comfortingly.
The Hard
Massive, evil, frightening thing. Someone hurt someone I love in an absolutely, stupidly evil way.
Brain aswirl from trying to process It Happened.
Tiny heart-mourning for the evildoer, who I’m actually related to, but who I can no longer consider a part of my family.
There were assorted other hard things this week, but they’re all kind of overshadowed by this one thing.
The Good
Escape and safety and strong protectors who protected the important people.
My bellydance dvd came in the mail!
Figuring out a stuck bit related to intention-setting versus letting-the-current-carry-me led to a nice bit of productivity at work.
Secret Play Date #5 was especially playful and awesome this week.
Watching my little llama playing with her tiny cars in the kitchen makes my heart explode with the cuteness and love and awwwww.
Pears. With good cheese.
.
Farewell week, greetings to the weekend! May you be as full of fun and naps as I’ve been hoping for all week long. Kisses to all.
Aw nuts. Well, pretend I scooted back in there with my /em to fix that section of run-on formatting!
Friday Chicken on Friday!
The hard: stress! Pressure! Not getting paid on time! Things coming up! Need an office!
The good: Launched The Thing! Unfortunately, all the logical summaries of what it does sound like spam. Fortunately I called it something different. Very excited that it is selling already.
Three weeks till I see my sweetheart!
One week till I present at The Conference with all kinds of cool people. Goal: do not swoon, but do have fun.
Weather is good. There WILL be swimming and oranges before I leave this country.
Yay!
@Elizabeth: Happy Bubbles! Love that.
The Hard:
-Husband recognizing need to do things for his health but not doing them. Knowing I can’t make him do them.
-Starting a medical treatment that I don’t really want to do.
-Osteoporosis meds making cataracts grow! And shoulders hurt!
-Big Crisis for son which is spilling over into my life and my space and my time.
-Trying to learn how to set up a blog while that is going on.
-Winter is trying to make a comeback. Three inches of snow predicted and my daffodils are in bloom.
-Unexpected enormous library fine!
The Good:
-Progress is being made in several areas.
-Brother is back and working on the floors.
-My workspace is getting sorted out.
-Two mornings at the coffee shop this week, and a great conversation with another coffee shop regular.
– Audiobooks on long car rides.
-Finally signing up for a blog. It’s still a small sweet thing but I think it is going to be fun.
Thanks for the chuckles Havi 🙂
Newish around these parts; reading between work-bits and before bed/after wake-up. Lots to “catch up” on, so to speak.
The Hard:
– Seeing loved one hurting. Being the “rock” and accepting I too need “my rock” and it’s OK to let my guard down.
– Keeping cool under fire/pressure at work. Helped by a point in The Good, though!
– Not judging others, lest I be judged. (is that the saying?)
The Good:
– Finding this place this week!
– Reading the bit about breathing, and how aggravating it is to someone else to be told “just breathe”. ARRRGH! Not alone in such frustration. =relieved=
– Taking music as background noise/ear stuffer/noise blocker/conscious redirection of blah into better stuff at work. Taking the same redirection and seeing the silver lining; accepting that I have to look at the cloud first.
The Better:
– Being. 🙂
Yay for Chicken Amnesty! My chicken is still free (or something)!
The hard:
Deadlines are all converging. Worrying that I took on too much. Can I get it all done?
Fell down flat on my back bam! in the mud. Owie. It shook me up. And I was on my way to a dress-up event. I arrived dressed mostly in mud.
Made a choice to take care of myself by not going to something that I wanted to go to. Person organizing it was hurt. Found myself wishing I’d gone. But the decision was right. Sigh. Confused.
Working on my first offer. Feeling as if I have no idea which things to say, what order they should go in. Or anything. Who-do-you-think-you-are monster appears.
Trying to do beautiful visualization about how I want my business to be, and getting stuck in the present. Rmm, rmm, perseverating on present crowded office, deadline panic, and uncertainty.
The good:
I arrived at my dress-up chorus art salon dressed in mud and was enveloped in love and nurturing from my chorus sisters. Hugs. Towels. Hot pack. Food brought to me. Help carrying paintings. Ahhh.
Metaphor Mouse triumphed again! I have a new word for deadlines! (To be announced soon in my blog.) That process is SO magical. Havi, you have given me a great gift.
Realizing I could show my offer to wonderful Catherine Caine for a free 30-minute consultation. Stopped worrying that it was too long and threw everything in there. She liked it! And she gave me really good ideas! And it’s almost ready!!! Okay, who-do-you-think-you-are monster: I know who I am. An amazing person with amazing things to share.
My Thing with my sweetheart is almost ready to be born! Huge progress in audio editing, much faster than I thought. And I discovered that I can go in and take out little coughs and glitches and even a mispronunciation! Go me!
Lots of indexing. Doing it smoothly and with focus. Feeling better about the deadlines (I mean, their new name).
Laycation was my thought, as well. And Playcation for the touring museum kind.
The Hard:
Missing a boy. Wanting a new boy. My 78 year old neighbor gets more kisses than I do (which I know because I came upon him and his girlfriend making out.)
The Good:
Lots of yoga this week. More today.
Getting stronger. Pincha mayurasana comes to me now. And I am glad.
Clients who need me. And clients who don’t need me because they are working things out between themselves.
Cash in my purse which I shall exchange for a massage with scented oils.
Lots of resting between yoga classes and no traveling this weekend.
Giggling about the story of the shoe salesperson.
names for vacations: nadacation, R&R, vegecation
The good:
– had a 3 part vacation, the doing kind (went to explore a new city), then days for R&R (s l e e p ), and then a swoosh of energy for clearing out old things and making the house feel lighter.
Yay-for organization.
_ (said in tiny voice) I’ve got a thing and it involves big changes.
Not much hard this week.
-hugs- to your people who’re going through hard; if they want hugs.
I’m excited at the idea of a dragon puppet. not sure why, but YAY.
@Kylie i’m going to read your blog now! you’re so right about everyone being able to express themselves!!!! And I sleep with stuffed animals too. They’re always loving.
@Kathleen i totally want to be a cool grown up. hugs for your irritable partner; i had one of those this week 🙁
@elizabeth i have an image of a purple furby opening his eyes, saying the light is too bright [my furby said this A LOT] and then exploding into flower confetti as an epiphany. wow.. o.O
@Jane hugs for your nightmares and your closed door. i’m trying to close one myself this week. lots of resistance though 🙁
The hard stuff
It’s my week off! And i couldn’t sleep. Or draw. or paint. Or read books.
These facts sucked. Majorly.
Being home with parents is stressful. Free food, but no choice. did lots of housework, washing, washing up, emptying bins, cleaning up cat sick and having a bedtime enforced on me again.
Mneh.
Nightmares. What’s with all the guns and SHARKS – why in the name of pie am I dreaming about sharks so much?!
Swings are taken. Why aren’t these mothers with kids teaching them to draw circles or feeding them at a table or taking them to the zoo? I went to the park at 11am, 1pm, 3:30pm and every time there were mums with kids on the swings. I had to keep walking round the block so as not to look odd. Seriously, give me just 30 mins a week on the swings.
Lots of past stuff. Lot’s of blood tie stuff and old trauma stuff and finding myself in places I don’t remember walking to.
Oh, and strimmer guy [who’s is CURRENTLY pruning whatever tree he’s doing now. 4 houses away.. that is still loud enough to wake me up.. through double glazing and my meditation music. Dude, I am seriously not happy with you. Some people sleep til 10am on weekends. SERIOUSLY.
Keep waking with headache, stinging eyes & sore throats. Every morning. Lasting about 2 hours.
The good stuff
Erm.
Uh.
Support? I’ve been soooo negative on twitter lately; and had supportive hugs and stuff.
Purpose. I may have talked someone out of suicide.
Tea. I like tea. Mmm. I opened these odd jasmine ones; the teabags are CLOTH. they’re SO amazing. the tea is so.. fresh and MMMMmmm.
I’ve done one of my 5 sections of University work. Half way through a second. I guess that’s good?
Dave. The TV channel that shows old comedy shows. You are my friend.
Plans! I have planned my summer term & holiday. I’m taking a 6 week course, 2 week course, 3 one day training sessions, part of a 2-day volunteering showcase, going to druid circles and pagan pub moots and then i’m going on a Buddhist Camp before graduation. EXCITTTTINGGG.
Parents work so i’m alone 7am-4pm on weekdays. This has led to dancing, playing on the Wii, eating junk food and watching series 1 of TVD. relaxed 🙂
May the weekend and next week be peaceful and loving for everyone.
They have ship-tracking apps?!?! Very cool. I love living in this day and age.
This week’s hard:
– Finished all the drugs, but not convinced this sinus infection is 100% gone. Still sleeping a lot and struggling with gunk in my face.
– Tired, tired, tired. Hard time getting out of bed all week.
This week’s good:
– Ninja’ed my way through my to-do lists this week and am ahead of schedule on all my projects.
– Finally found the right guy to talk to at the Apple Store to help me work through my indecision. Made a decision and ordered my new computer, which should be here by the end of the week.
– It’s freezing cold out there, but spring is definitely here.
Happy weekend, Chickeneers!
*sneaks in and parks on unoccupied pouffe by a space heater*
Hard:
* not enough sleep
* not enough me
* yeast infection and zits. I get it, body — you want less stress in and on the system. Going itchy and blotchy on me is not of the helpful, though.
* some edgy interpersonal oodginess
* ongoing irritation at clients who haven’t paid me yet
Good:
* sweet doggie and darling man
* the recital at which a transcription of Reynaldo Hahn’s “À Chloris” was played as an encore. I may have found the right song for my next audition.
* major progress on a new poem during my Room in the Inn shift. Feels like it’s been ages since I finished anything longer than 140 characters.
* a good meeting. I have brilliant colleagues.
* indexing. Creating order makes me happy.
* cooking. Because I can be as messy as I want in my own kitchen, and that also makes me happy. 🙂
Wishing all y’all a happy and healthy week.
PS Good, because I can finally officially share:
http://artistmarketplace.moleskine.com/en/meet-the-artists/annaline
I was one of the first artists invited to submit for this new platform for customized Moleskine sketch and note books 🙂
The hard:
Looking for a new car, worrying about paying for said car, having to examine the dreaded budget, realizing we would also need daycare soon, and a way to pay for daycare soon.
Sleep deprivation, stomach upsets, working too much.
The good:
Art into Fashion exhibit at Philadelphia Musuem of Art.
High tea (yes high tea!) with my mom and two aunties.
Baby growing and wiggling.
Feeling good in my pregnant body.
Editing and submitting an op-ed.
Posting a blog entry.
Work on the novel flowing easily.
Writing workshop feeling more manageable.
My puppy.
Spring spring spring.
Taking two great walks outdoors in spite of winter like weather.
A warm house, a full belly, an amazing husband.
Vacation coming soon!
there is also an incredibly geeky/lovely/romantic app that shows the contellation depending on where you point your phone – a bit special for us sothern hemisphere people who are up norf.
Time off for napping and gazing is what I call a vacation. Time off for seeing sights I call traveling. Which is why so many of us come home from traveling and declare that we need a vacation.
This has been such a week. SUCH a week. I wish for all that next week, starting NowSunday, is vastly better for us all.
Havi, I call it a spacecation. I space out. I space out because I am a space cadet. And I am enrolled in the Starfleet Academy. (it’s not 2161 yet. I’m getting there.) And eventually I will learn to be a captain of my own Space vehicle. And I stare out to sea and it’s okay because this is me navigating.
ouch.
Holy of holies. The hard.
Death has come again. And in my family, I am always the soother. I am not around most of the time, but when Death comes to visit, I sit across the hearth from her and the mourners, the REAL mourners, come converge on my lap.
Again. I volunteer myself. I don’t know when precisely Death is coming but she’s striding across the backdrop of my family yet again and most of us aren’t prepared.
I am.
but the wind whistles in the windows, and I’m not allowed to seal them.
This makes even my readiness hard.
And in the midst of this readiness? I have to look for a new home.
After my tax return has been rejected twice. GRRR.
now, the soft
the crazy living situation has settled, even though adding my wee bits to it makes me cry. Looking for a new apt would be a hard for most ppl, but for me I most feel freed from this place.
Coop board ppl volunteering to be references. SO lovely.
Being surrounded by love of all sorts. Family, friends, coworkers. I am SO so lucky. So grateful.
The boy being the most amazing source of support.
Having his family love me intensely.
Writing reviews for my staff and having 85% be the “whee this person is awesome” kind.
Knowing that at the end of this? There is writing.
I am scared at how 2011 has gone so far. But in the end, this is a lot better than how thing have gone in prior years.