Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Thing 1: a Shiva Nata faq that I might even enjoy writing.
Here’s what I want:
I’d really like to throw together a fabulous and useful Frequently Asked Questions list for the upcoming Shiva Nata teacher training that I’m running in September.
And I’d like this to not turn into a giant pain-in-the-ass never-ending project of doom, but instead to be fun.
Yes, I’d like it to a) happen, and b) happen with as much ease, flow, support, joy and general silliness as possible.
Ways this could work:
I can ask for help.
Actually, there are lots of people who could help. The shivanauts in the Secret Lab, people in my Kitchen Table program, graduates of past teacher trainings…
Also, I can wear my sparkly pink wig. Because costumes always help.
And you know what would be extra-great? If we could make progress on a general, non-teaching-related faq at the same time. I would love that.
My commitment.
To notice where my stuff comes up and get outside perspective, because sometimes I’m so deep in the practice that I’m probably the wrong person to be answering frequently answered questions.
To connect to the fractal flowers and remind myself of all the ways that this mission is useful for the future.
To insist that it is okay to find ways to make this pleasurable, instead of just slogging through it through force, because Shiva Nata is always about replacing the old patterns with better ones.
Thing 2:
Here’s what I want:
Tomorrow I’m teaching a special Shiva Nata class for the hard-rocking Guns N Rollers — the roller derby team we sponsor.
We’ll be working on coordination, speed, agility, brain training, reaction time and force fields! Obviously it will be a good time.
What I’d like is for it to be a really useful, powerful experience that supports everything the team needs, and brings more shivanautical superpowers into the world of derby.
I’d also like it to plant seeds for my bigger dream: a world in which pretty much all athletes do Shiva Nata, as a matter of course. Because who doesn’t want to be more coordinated?
The pitcher for the San Francisco Giants: warming up with a little Shiva Nata in the bullpen. In the Bundesliga, of course! Because doing Shiva Nata is how you avoid relegation — everyone knows that. Any NBA team making it to the playoffs… they’re going to be looking for a great Shiva Nata trainer…
It feels like fantasy now. But it isn’t. And somehow I want this class to be symbolically connected to that vision.
Ways this could work:
I’m going to have to do some talking with Slightly Future Me, to see what she knows about how this is connected. Or how I can imagine/pretend it is.
And I need to recognize what is possible.
My commitment.
To pay attention to what’s needed.
To ask how I can be of service.
To be curious, receptive, and to ask lots of questions.
Thing 3: writing up notes!
Here’s what I want:
Last week I got all this amazing help from Cairene on one of my projects.
And I have about a million pages of notes that I’d like to type up and organize, so that I’m not desperately searching for this notebook in six months when I’ll really need them.
And I’m not even slightly in the mood.
Ways this could work:
The pink wig, of course.
Hmmm. It’s really the same as the previous ask. It’s about finding a way to feel the connections between the thing I’m doing in the moment and the bigger plan/vision/desire.
So that steps don’t happen in isolation.
My commitment.
To write a tiny love letter to the notes.
To ask the part of me who knows how to do this what would make it more fun.
To stay connected to the essence of what I want while I’m figuring out the details — using the soft to be in the hard.
Thing 4: rewriting the Rally page
Here’s what I want:
We have a Rally (Rally!) coming up. It is the ninth Rally.
Each one has been nothing short of miraculous in terms of how much it’s possible to get the hell done in a matter of three and a half days. It is a shiny, epiphany-filled voyage of hilarity, productivity and surprises.
And I am still not very good at explaining what it is or why it is so life-changingly spectacular.
So I’d like to rewrite the page that describes it.
Ways this could work:
Help and support from my Kitchen Table companions at the Deguiltified Chicken Board forum.
Ideas from past and present Rallions.
To keep working on the Playground website.
Surely there is something I can do without the help of the pink wig? No. Apparently not. Okay, pink wig it is!
And of course, some shivanautical hot buttered insights, please.
Saying “hot buttered” just reminded me of how much I can’t wait for pesach to be over. Is it now? Is it now? Are we there yet?
My commitment.
To mess around. To play. To be receptive to a variety of possibilities.
To examine perceptions and assumptions. And to ask why about a million times until I figure out what I’m wrong about.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted lots and lots of movement, physical and otherwise. And there was lots of it.
Mostly shivanautical but also walking and stretching and getting stuff done.
Then I wanted ease with pesach, and that happened because the gentleman friend basically took over and did the whole thing.
The next thing was about updating my various projects, which didn’t happen in some ways but did in other ways (I finished and put up the new about pages and the Whee the people page).
And I wanted a calm, steady, knowing-what-to-do, and it showed up when I needed it. Yay.
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
Stuff I’d rather not have:
The word “manifest”. To be told how I should be asking for things. To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given unsolicited advice.
Much love for your gwishes! So happy to have you doing this with me.
Follow
Ooh! I’m looking forward to hearing more about Rally and Shivanata and the teacher training – I’ve never been to any of them (Whaa!), so I get all my info from around here. Sending you sparkles and wishes and love!
Now! VPA #33
Thing 1: Language Problem!
What I would like:
Ease and fun in learning Japanese, which is impossibly hard for me right now.
Ways this could happen:
I could make a game out of it.
I could jump on my mini trampoline.
I could make a whole bunch of flash cards for it.
I could read manga.
I could memorize anime in both languages.
I could do Shivanata for it.
I could reward myself with chocolate for every 10 kanji I get.
I could learn a different way every day till I find one I like.
I could switch everything – my computer, games, TV – to Japanese.
My commitment:
Tu be patient with myself and my capacity.
To approach this with love and curiosity.
To remember that I want this for pleasure, for the joy of knowing it and doing it and being it.
Thing 2: More insight on resting
What I would like:
To discover what is restful for me. To learn how I can transition into it without wanting to go bat-shit.
Ways this could happen:
I could try a whole bunch of things and revue them.
I could talk to the other Mes and see what they think.
I could skipping stone my way through it.
My commitment:
To be curious and playful.
To be gentle and patient.
Thing 3: Some awesome clothes and jewelry
What I would like:
Some new pieces for the wardrobe. I’m feeling a little stagnant and… uncolorful.
Ways this could happen:
I could get online and check for sales.
Or find a place that sells returned or unwanted jewelry.
My commitment:
To look around with an open mind and an open heart.
To keep going until I find things I absolutely love.
Thing 4: More outside time
What I would like:
To play in the sun more. I’m having so much fun.
Ways this could happen:
Go out at every timer.
And every cup of chai.
And every meal.
And for no reason at all.
My commitment:
To go out when I want and stay in when I don’t.
Update on last week!
I wanted insight on resting. Got it. In spades. This week was much better than the last one, and I avoided a headache. Then I wanted to work on the middle and my fear of backtracking. Did it. Easy. So easy I didn’t even notice.
Wow, discovered that commiting to doing one specific self-care thing is so much easier than a general intention and somehow other non-skin related self-care happened more often too. And if I want to go to bed early, I need to say to myself an actual time. Basically, go specifics!
vpa #1 : to my photographic collaborator. You are living somewhere between Brighton and Chichester, between 20-35, you are happy and confident being in front of the camera and are confident using an slr, you like to experiment and have fun. we will make beautiful, sexy fun photos together.
I could find you by putting an advert on fetlife or model mayhem, or by saying that I’m looking for someone like this on tumblr or flickr. Perhaps you’ll see my wanted notices, or perhaps someone you know will and point them out to you.
I commit to being open to possibilities, to being honest about what I want, to believing that you exist.
vpa #2: to my presentation. Hello, I feel like I’ve been thinking a lot about you and I’m curious to see how you unfold. I would like to you to happen simply and to flow out of me. I would like there to be no technical mishaps or communication problems.
I could make this happen by scheduling in time to work on you in small chunks, going through my plan step by step to avoid getting overwhelmed, using the chicken board, trusting that I have everything I need.
I commit to owning any resistance and fear I have to working on you, trusting myself to do this right, allowing myself to enjoy it (this is the closest I’ve come to public speaking in over a year and I miss it and that’s ok). You are my magical research revue! With added sparkles and red hair. Love you and looking forward to working on you.
vpa #3: to my shoot with Russ on Tuesday. Yay, so exited! I want you to be free of any public transport gnarl-ups and delays. I want you to be interesting and fun and full of laughter and experimentation and for there to be beautiful images.
I can make this happen by making sure I get my bag prepared the night before and go to bed at 10.30 on monday night, book a taxi to the station on monday night, I can be prepared to make unflattering images or ones that don’t work because those are an inevitable process of getting the ones that are beautiful.
I commit to approaching this with the qualities exploration and play, I commit to saying if I’m uncomfortable with anything, I commit to listening to my body telling me how to move.
So many things this week 🙁 Seeing your fantasy about shiva nata being taught reminded me of my half-dream thing that I can teach it to kids alongside meditation in schools. I think everyone should have access 🙂
Last Time –
I asked for progress.. which again I forget to do with ease and love. I did it all in one day and got burnt out. Again. Shiva nata, please remind me to change this pattern!
And then i asked for more students for my shiva nata classes – i got one more student say “ill sort something out” though nothing solid yet.
So.. this week i’ve a lot of asks. Sorry Universe; I am very grateful. I am panicking right now though.
Thing 1: dissertation coursework progress – gently
Here’s what I want:
DISSERTATION
I have an essay due wednesday and the 4th may is my dissertation deadline. And my tutor hasnt sent back my first draft with her comments yet. Oh Halp.
I have loads of notes but need to type them up and i just don’t care anymore I’ve been doing this dissertation since SEPTEMBER. I dont care any more.
So not in the mood.
P.S. Please be gentle with me.. I’d like this happen with flow and ease. Thank you.
Ways this could work:
-i’m panicking so much that i’ll likely stay up every night this week.
-*bing* Just realised Slightly Future Me has finished it o.O – she could help. -plots and plans away-
-deep breaths
-shivanata
My commitment.
– to breathe
– to know that i can do this
– to have faith
Thing 2: renewal of last weeks ask for shivanata students!
Here’s what I want:
More students and a cheap room to use on weekends.
Ways this could work:
– Give you the details: http:/wingofflight.wordpress.com/classes
– Twitter it.
– Ask around.
Thing 3: Sleep; in a gentle way
Here’s what I want:
To have time for my dreams; to rest at similar times each night and to awaken refreshed for the next couple of weeks.
I just need to be refreshed – and if i can ask for this; I’d like my other half to rest too. He’s having such a heavy time doing two degrees at once and his nan passed away today. and i can’t be there for him; so i’m asking that he have restful nights.
Ways this could work:
– routine.
– shivanata about my resistance to sleep/worry about not finishing
– herbal teas
– getting the room temperature cool enough
y commitment.
– to write down my dreams again
– to ask the part of me who knows how to do this what would make it easier.
– to stay open to possibilities
– to meet my body’s needs where possible
** that should have read: http://wingsofflight.wordpress.com
** that should have read: wingsofflight.wordpress.com
I think if I was doing some Shiva Nata for Roller Derby (I do play Roller Derby, and I’ve done a little Shiva Nata) – I’d be looking for specific ways the Shiva Nata could help with specific things.
Even if it didn’t change any of what was taught, hearing things like “Okay, so doing lots of legs will be great for your Crossovers and One-Foot Glides!” would make my mind light up and change the perspective on it…
I’m bad with un-mapped routes, if I hear ‘A helps B’, it’s hard for my brain to make sense of it, but if I hear ‘A helps B through a process of bla-bla-bla’
It should be obvious most of the time, cause hey, Shiva Nata is awesome and agile and co-ordinatey, but thinking of specifical ways it could work makes lights and noises happen in my head! (Actually, really want to do some leg work now, because ooh, crossovers!)
Anyways, maybe it’s just a me thing and not a most people thing, but joining the dots of why things might help other things (or different things that all help with one thing) makes it all clear and shiny for me. Maybe it would help other athletes to have a join-the-dots?
(Sorry, I hope this doesn’t sound like unsolicited advice! It isn’t intended to be… *whimper* More just a random idea that popped into my head that you might want to explore, maybe 🙂 )
Hi there, dissertation proposal. I want you to know that I like you. All the struggles and stuff I’ve been having around working on you are really not your fault. It isn’t you, it’s me.
I’ll be sending you off to meet my committee members tomorrow, which is exciting and scary. We need to spend some time together today, getting you all dressed and polished and ready for the journey. I want you to know that you are already beautiful, just as you are. Did you think I didn’t notice? I do notice. I’m a good writer, and you’re a good paper. You are lovely.
So, here’s what I’m asking: can we have some fun with this today? Can it be easy and graceful and peaceful? I’ll cut back on the kinds of distractions that de-rail me. I’ll create a calm and cozy environment where we can be together and relax. Yeah, my family will be around, but they like you too, and they want to be supportive of our relationship.
I don’t know what the future will hold. I don’t know what’s in the stars for us. Just for today, let’s not worry about that. Let’s just enjoy each other, and let’s do this thing. Okay? Thanks, love.
@Ren, take a look at the idea2lifestyle shop on dawanda.com
Here’s all the things I am asking for:
1. A smooth transition back into life with my job after having been away for five weeks.
2. A lovely last day with my husband before months of not seeing much of each other will start again
3. Shoulder pain to go away
4. A potential meeting on Tuesday to go well so that a new job may come out of it.
Way this can work:
1. Focus on catching up on what I need to know in order to take my job over again.
2. Give
3. See a physio who was highly recommended when I am back at work.
4. Prepare a few things tomorrow, reading some material, collecting ideas.
My committment:
1. Patience, acceptance.
2. Not to bring up the money issue last minute.
3. Make an appointment first thing on Wednesday.
4. To be myself, to be open.
Cluck…
1. A break from the irony that isn’t irony, more like ugghh things that suck.
Like tonight the hot water system died in the middle of a holiday stretch and also we have no money just after I’ve zenned the hell out over the idea of radical acceptance of the fact that sucky things happen as the most painless path through the suckitude. Seriously Universe? You laughing at me here? Now I have to APPLY the theory??! Oh man, did I call this on myself or what. This is my version of the story where all my angels are laughing with me but it ACTUALLY doesn’t feel that funny right now!!!! (As my hilarious husband would say: it’s okay because this can’t possibly be actually happening!! Ahahahahah!!)
I’m sure there was another example of this kind of stoopid irony that isn’t irony but I can’t remember it right now. But this definitely feels like a theme, in which case I would like for it to stop now, please, I get it, you don’t have to hammer it home like a hallmark miniseries puke inducing moral-of-the-story, I fucking get it already. *napoleon dynamite-esque “Uuuuggghh!!!”*
2. Money rearrangements and windfalls so we can move out of the this-can’t-possibly-be-happening-ahahaha stage and into the oh-can-you-believe-we-went-through-that-ridiculous-series-of-things-going-wrong-hohoho*sigh*-would-you-like-another-brandy-dahling stage. Please.
3. Progress on my better household money mgmt systems project because okay yes universe i fucking hear you already we need a rainy day fund i get it. And for the Money Monster brigade to help me out by ,,, just keeping quiet or something… Please!
AHAhAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
I just have one this week.
I want the people who went through my program for free as test kitchen tasters to give me the feedback they owe me in exchange (two out of 13 have done it). I learned a lot by teaching the program, but the other half of what I need from them is the feedback. That is why I spent many hours teaching the program for free. I’m very frustrated and disappointed that so many of them haven’t done it almost a month later. They all have good reasons. I don’t want to make them feel guilty. I just want them to do it so I can incorporate my feedback and continue developing this program.
Sigh.
Ways this could work: They could just do it. I could figure out the exact right reminder to send them, that would remind them they made a commitment without loading guilt on them.
My commitment: To learn from this situation. To be aware of my feelings.
I actually welcome thoughtful advice about this. Am I allowed to ask for that here?
I have to clean the basement of my house (studio /office). This isn’t “I should”, this is “unless I want to risk losing things I value and then have to do a big, ugly throw-out, I have to tidy and find places for stuff in and clean the basement.” Because in the Cypress Hills to the west of where I live, a once-in-50-years snow melt is starting which is going to raise the Frenchman River that runs through the valley where I live by an equivalent amount of water, and there is a large possibility that in the next days people will be flooded out of their houses. My house won’t be affected in that way because it is far enough from the river, but with a way higher than usual water table I will quite likely get water coming up through the floor. So it’s now or worse later.
And I don’t want to. I’m tired. I opened my Grasslands Gallery for the season this week, and supported many of my friends who are concerned, which included among other things working extra shifts in the local grocery store of which I’m a Board member, and made sandwiches for the sandbagger crews, and dealt with normal life, and maybe worried some myself, and didn’t get into my painting studio.
So what I want is the strength to do this job quietly and easily, while recognizing that “places to put stuff” is a real need, and that organization and tidiness will serve everything else in my life. Because organization and tidiness spreads the way that disorganization and clutter does.
Ways this could work:
I could know that I will be glad when I’ve done it.
I could remember that quiet and ease will be the result as well as the need.
I could ask for anyone reading this who can send me a wish for strength and dry ground – so yes, please, do so, I would love to hear from you, and all my thanks if you can!
My commitment:
To make a cup of good coffee so the work will be lighter.
To turn up up the sound on some very easeful music so I can hear it downstairs.
To begin.
Thank you Havi, for giving me a place to put this.
Havi, I love your roller derby fantasy. Gwishing for that! And for good things for everyone’s VPAs.
Thing 1: Mary Poppins
Here’s what I want:
To make time to watch Mary Poppins this week, because I’m feeling a pull. I need to learn a new lesson, or be reminded of an old one, and I need to watch the film in order to do it.
Ways this could happen:
I could talk to my buddies about making time to do it tomorrow.
I could just sneakily watch it late tonight or early tomorrow morning.
I could watch it in little bits whenever I want a break, though I somehow don’t feel this would have the right effect.
My commitment:
I’m going to set the DVD up tonight, take my laptop upstairs, make sure my earphones are plugged in, and set my alarm for 7 tomorrow morning. Then I’m going to wake up early and watch. If I don’t manage to wake up, I don’t watch tomorrow and I’ll sort out something for another day.
Thing 2: Godblog
I want to make tentative first steps on biggifying my Godblog.
Ways this could happen:
I could mention it here. Done!
I could join wildgodcomm with my godblog identity and start commenting and posting.
I could join Ship of Fools, ditto. Anxious about this one.
I could keep answering the Writer’s Block questions every so often on LJ so that random people wander onto my blog.
My commitment:
Talk to L about joining godblog up to wildgodcomm and start x-posting and commenting a bit.
Update on previous VPAs:
I wanted to do my new job well, efficiently and mindfully, without thinking of it as an Overwhelming Heroic Quest. It’s going really well! I’ve made mistakes in my first week, but yes. I think I can do this.
I wanted to find a compassionate, non-forcing way to be efficient (ish!) at work and at home, and to reassure myself that I can do that and not lose my soul. Not much progress here, although having had a weekend away is helping. This is why I need to rewatch Mary Poppins.
I wanted to restart my various destuckification practices and bring them to bear on my relationship with God. I’ve taken the frightening step of coming clean to my buddies about doing a session of Shiva Nata and writing in the mornings, expecting them to disapprove and try to talk me out of it. They’re down with it! Also started making long thoughtful responses near-daily on this blog, which was another thing I wanted to do. Still work to do but I’m very pleased with progress.
Here is what I want:
Continued movement towards resolution, even though we don’t know what the resolution will look like. We have some pictures and maps of what might be ahead, we are reading about what some other people have found, there is a mysterious box that may be taken by the People In The Woods and we are just trusting that our guide knows the way. The time for waiting is over, and I have to start now. So I would like the grace and willingness to keep walking. To get my guide what she needs. To forgive myself. And then forgive myself some more. To realize that I will not be in these woods forever and maybe the land on the other side is beautiful and wonderful. And to remember that I have enough and I am safe.
Here is what else I want: patience and aparigraha as I work on my handstand balancing.
And: Grace, Peace and Mercy.
Mmmmkay. I seem to be slowly but surely getting over my fear of VPAs. Yay!
What I want: A first draft of this essay I’m writing. It seems scary because it’s so loaded with…I don’t know…”potential” or something.
How this could work: The words could magically flow, as they often do. Some brilliant structure for the piece could reveal itself.
My commitment: Um, pretty much just to flail on it. Combined with short spurts of write write writing and nothing else, alternated with spurts of flailing, as needed.
Thing #2: Progress on my redesigned website.
How this could work: I could find time to sit down and spend some time with it, learn what it needs and figure out how to give it that. Also, I feel as if colored pencils and playtime could help.
My commitment: To color on actual papers. Maybe the coloring could even be a break from the aforementioned writing. I commit to coloring!
A very happy week to everybody!
Oh Sunday.
Last week, I traveled.
This week, I’m home.
And what do I want?
1) Office Magic round II:
I have the office! I love the location but not the carpet. What I would like: inspiration about ways to decorate it that will make it the lovely, welcoming, warm, beautiful space that I want it to be (without hiring an interior decorator and remodeling).
WTCW: I could look at design books. I could get some spackle. I could hang some art. I could move some more furniture from the house.
My commitment: to look at my small space design books again. To be open to the idea of paint. To make each step count.
2) Money flow:
I would like my clients to pay me on time. I could remind them, that might help or it might be nagging. I would like to have new clients find me and sign up with me now that I’m back in the states.
My commitment: to ask for what I want. To hand out my new business cards when they come. To fix up my space (see #1) so it’s welcoming for people.
3) smoothness of transition:
I’m back at home. I would like ease in becoming fully at home again.
WTCW: no idea.
My commitment: to stay open to the possibilities.
Thank you Havi!
Uppy-dates- I got the faith I wanted last week. Reinforced by an email from a client that blew my mind. i’ve read it a dozen times. Squeee!
On the housing front: I *finally* sorted out where I want to be. I’m moving south. There’s no real advantage to staying here another year (the original plan).
So. Ask 1 redefined:
I want an apartment in the Charleston, SC area walking distance to the beach, cat friendly.
ways this could work:
Someone awesome could answer the Craigslist ad I just posted. By awesome I mean not squidgy that I’m self-employed. My parents have a friend in the area, he could know of something. Some wacky thing I could never have predicted might happen.
my commitment:
to keep talking to people
to stay open to new ideas
to trust that this is the right thing and it WILL work out and I’m safe whatever happens
Ask 2:
My biz has a brand-y new thing in the works. I want my new Thing to become clear and come to life with ease.
ways this could work:
Clarity could come from tuesday shiva practice (we started level 2!)
i can set up a schedule and time line to complete thing 1 without losing momentum on the major client project I have.
my commitment:
to do the work
to get down a shitty first draft even if the clarity isn’t all the way there
to trust the process
to trust myself – I will not put out a shitty product. a draft is just a draft.
Whoa. I just put the intention to move south out into the Universe. Nifty.
Best (g)wishes & big hugs to everyone this week!
I have a few things that I want, and it seems like the essence of each is Clarity and Flow. Or maybe it’s Ease and Flow. Yes. Clarity, Ease, and Flow.
How this could work:
Oh, I don’t know. The words could flow. I could change my self-imposed date of a deadline so I don’t feel rushed. I could wake up feeling well-rested, which always is useful. I could discover that the garage is near a coffee shop. The sun could be out and I could take the pup for a very long walk.
My commitment:
I will remember to set an intention when I flail. I will write a SFD of the one thing. I will look at my calendar and see if a date sparks my interest. I will walk.
Update on last week’s asks:
Learning to roller skate: it turns out that roller skating and eye surgery shouldn’t happen in the same week, and now my nephew won’t be available till the end of school. I will look for other ways to learn.
Making THAT phone call: I did and it turned out okay, and will involve less money than I thought it might.
Travel plans firmed up: three things are set up, two are still being settled, and one is being talked about.
Trust that my husband will do what’s necessary without me nagging: I think he is doing okay.
On to this week:
Thing 1: Celebrating Discardia
What I want: I found that term on the internet and now my whole family use it. I want to get massive amounts of unused and unusable stuff out of my space!
Ways this could work:
With ease and grace. I could enjoy the process!
With help from my brother, who is here again to help!
With an audio book and some chocolate.
With a deadline.
A little at a time every day till it’s done.
Or an all-out assault on the task, until it’s done.
My commitment:
To keep the desired feeling (spaciousness) in mind.
To create room for new things: new ideas, new growth.
To do the easy discards first.
To celebrate.
Thing 2: Physical ease
What I want: less physical tension, especially in my neck and shoulders, and in my calves. Good sleep, in sufficient quantities. Movement.
Ways this could work:
I could change my pillow.
I could do stretches and yoga.
I could take my medicine.
I could walk.
I could check that the places where I sit, especially to work, are right for me.
I could get a massage.
I could take breaks when I’m working, to get up and move around.
My commitment:
To be curious about my comfort and ease and what causes the tension.
To pay attention to my body.
Thing 3: To figure out how to get the things that are missing from my life back into my life.
Ways this could work:
I don’t know.
I could ask Future Me, the one who has already done it.
I could talk to people who have what I think I want.
My commitment:
Curiosity and patience.
Most of all, this week, I want things to happen with ease, without strain. I want joy and contentment and good things, for myself and my family, and for all of you.
Okay, I just want at least a few weeks without a sore throat and cold.
I didn’t even feel this one coming on, which is unusual, so I didn’t do any of my pre-emptive remedies. I’m very tired of feeling like crap and coughing all night so I don’t sleep.
I feel very complainey and sorry for myself.
I want this cold to slip away quietly, the way it came in.
How this could work:
I could be extra nice to myself and pamper me.
I could talk to my body to find out what it needs that it’s not getting.
I could remember that this too will pass.
My commitment:
To remember that I can feel sorry for myself if I want
To take my herbal immunity tablets
To talk to the monster who keeps telling me that I must be doing something wrong if I keep getting sick.
I want really great summer pants. Not jeans, not pajama looking. Not sure what they look like, but know they are very wearable to work and very comfy.
How?
Shop – no
Look through catalogs -ok
they could magically appear in a store window when I am doing something else.
Someone could point them out to me.
It’s possible I will get in the mood to shop.
Commitment:
Patience
Thank you for sharing your ideas and dreams Havi – it sounds so exciting and inspiring that you will be sharing Shiva Nati with Roller Derby world.
I would love to keep feeling a sense of trust in all my dreams and visions. It doesn’t matter that I don;t know the how. Intuition baby!
I am open to playing with ith new ways of talking about my purpose in life. I know what I want to do really – but because I don’t know the step-by-step how of it all I am fabulous at hiding my own knowing. I need to stop hiding my (eyOOooo) wisdom.
I want to keep using whatever modalities I need as a reminder that I have enough trust and joy inside of me already. Part of me wants more joy, more trust as evidence that my life has changed and that I will live out my dreams and purpose, but actually I have enough already. I have enought trust inside, enough joy. I just need to give myself permission to get used to this fact. I’m not sure if this makes sense! Hmmm.
I would love to decide upon which course I am going to do first – script writing, film making or basic photography. Choices are good though. Exciting!
To enjoy the fact that I am a dreamer, that I have visions a lot of the time – even if I don’t know what to do with them! They are not foolish. They mean something. They are valuable. Trust again chicken – see what unfolds!
More sustained joy and connection at work and in myself. I’m scared of being greedy for these feelings or of getting attached to good feelings – I need to allow myself to have good days or bad days without maginifying the situation or deciding what this means. It means what I decide it means.
But the truth is I am so happy at work (and got some gorgeous feedback from a client) & I am so amazed that when I feel as in love with the world as I do – anything seems possible. Yeah – go figure.
To keep going. Keep going darlin’. To dance my ass off at Zumba. Zumba= ridculously happy Leila.
Going to claim VPA Amnesty for myself today 🙂
All I want (…”all”) is for my week and a half leading up to the Big Vending Event to go well. Including my costuming, booth decorating, helper-coordinating, and last bits of inventory-production. Maybe this is several VPAs masquerading as one (with funny masks!), but it really is all one thing in my head right now.
Ways this could work:
-doing calendar stuff, so that my calendar can know about Things Needing Doing rather than me storing it in my head
-prioritizing, so that I can get to the point where I’ve done all the essentials sooner, and the rest will feel like luxurious icing on the cake
-I’m not totally sure how it will all happen. But I can become more OK with the uncertainty.
My commitment:
To look forward to the event with playfulness–it’s like a party, with costumes and decorations and party favors.
To plan for pauses and micro-vacations in the lead-up time, and recovery time afterwards.
To ask for help when I need it, and trust that it will come.
hi all. good luck with your vpa’s.
i have a meeting this thursday with mega boss. about horrible boss, my direct boss. a few of the people i work with have been mistreated, humilliated and verbally and psychologically abused by her. including me. and enough is enough, i am speaking. related to that:
thing #1: clarity
to be clear in my head and my words. why and how. the way and the means and the end.
my commitment:
to write it down. to breathe a lot. to wear my sovereignty crown, boots and purple chal.
thing #2: eloquence
related to the clarity. to find the words and tone. and facts. and witnesses.
thing #3: courage
because i know deep inside that i am doing the right thing. for the people i care about. because i believe it is wrong to see and do nothing. because nobody should be treated like that. by anyone. and your boss has no right to treat people like that. even if they are wrong. no-one has that right.
and i am speaking for the ones that can’t. i am prepeared to face the consecuences. if they choose to fire me, then i don’t want to work there. and i trust that i will be ok.
if anyone wants to give me some advice, i am asking for it. and support and a few cheers would be great.
hoping you all have better behaved bosses and never have to do this, because man, it is hard.
love.
@nat big hugs! I’m sorry you have such a hard thing.
Advice- make notes, it’s ok to read from them in the meeting. It’s ok to be nervous. Stick to the facts in the meeting. The company is obligated to investigate. They are legally liable if they don’t. They have to keep the investigation as confidential as they can, but direct boss may find out what you said.
I worked in HR for 15 years. Email me if you want: Deanna at parlancellc dot com.
Xoxo
Take care of yourself. Your super brave for doing this!!
Here’s some ideas about describing Rally (Rally!) from a past Rallion (february). I think you are already great at explaining it. I think that the descriptions you already had were great. I think the one you put in this VPA is great too!
“Each one has been nothing short of miraculous in terms of how much it’s possible to get the hell done in a matter of three and a half days. It is a shiny, epiphany-filled voyage of hilarity, productivity and surprises.”
Like, WOW! ya’ know? With the info you had up pre-february, I felt prepared, and excited. and a bit of “yeah, right, hella lot done”. I liked the that there were surprises. I liked that the descriptions (even the one in today’s VPA) said enough, and required somewhat of a leap of faith on my part. That felt like part of the magic.
I still have moments when I can’t believe how much I accomplished during those 3 days! I still can’t believe how much Rally (Rally!) I have incorporated into my life! Just from 3 days!
My first VPA:
Here’s what I want:
For the 3 sisters (BB, Jane, and Sophie at http://www.greyhoundpetsinc.org/adopt4b.html) to get adopted together. For the 3 sisters to stay together. They have been through a lot, have come a long way, and are unusually, seriously bonded.
Ways this could work:
-A dog-savvy, greyhound-savvy person seeking 3 dogs at once reads this VPA
-Someone reading this knows a dog-savvy, greyhound-savvy person wanting to grow their pack by 3
-With the continued help of our amazing volunteer network
-A miracle could occur
-I could win the lottery and buy that dog property I have my eye on, adopt them, and bring my pack to a total of 6.
My commitment:
-To keep talking it up and spreading the word
-To keep a positive mind about it
-To believe it CAN happen, it WILL happen
-To buy lottery tickets
-To continue to give all the love I can to these 3 sisters
@ Nat: {{{{HUGS}}}}
thank you deanna and pat. you are super sweet!
hugs back!
Last Time:
I’ve asked for the money to go to Spain. And it came! Last night my grandma offered to pay the last $2,000 that I need to make it happen. I didn’t even ask her, she just said she wanted to. Yay!
VPA 1: Dance Performance
I have a performance on Saturday. I don’t feel ready. I feel like I’m not as good as everyone else in my group. I’m judging myself. I need to be positive, energetic, and in the moment.
VPA 2: Relationship Stuff
I’m not going to post the specifics here. But I want passion. Compassion. The benefit of the doubt. Understanding. Giving and receiving.
VPA 3: Body
To continue to have a healthier body. To be grounded when people comment on it.