20 Comments

1. 

   Miss P. on July 24, 2011 at 12:11 pm

   I’ve been doing a lot of destuckification work over the last weeks and months, but I find I am wanting more input and discussion, not like with a therapist, but with someone who is doing her own destuckification.

   WHAT I WANT: I want some form of Internal Cartographers Society (ICS) or maybe a Psychological Process Engineers Association (2PEA) where we could meet (pref. in RL) and do Shiva Nata and share protocols and stories and such. Kind of like a scientific society but with more playfulness and cheering-on.

   WAYS THIS COULD WORK: I could make a page about it on my blog. I could tell my friends. I could post the idea here and see what happens. People to do this with could magically appear. I could post a flyer at my yoga studio.

   WHAT I COMMIT TO: To playing with the idea. To consider founding a one member society. To shiva nata on it. to talk about it.

   The second thing I want is to understand grounding more and how to do it for myself. I’ll let it percolate in my unconsciousness for now.

   Happy Week 🙂

   Reply
2. 

   Leocadia on July 24, 2011 at 12:24 pm

   I am going on holiday the day after tomorrow, not a long holiday but I am asking for it to be long enough
   – to let the farewell overwhelm sink in
   – to totally get rid of July cold
   – to enjoy husband time
   – to non-do excessively
   – to come back with a bit of a tan
   And I am asking the summer to come back to accompany all this.

   My commitment and how this could work: don’t know, I am too exhausted to think about it – I would just love it to happen.

   Reply
3. 

   Rose on July 24, 2011 at 12:43 pm

   I’ve missed a couple of weeks so firstly hai again.

   This week I’m back for the final week of “this-kind-of-makes-me-feel-like-i’m-harming-myself” work. The pay will give me enough to cover myself until September 🙂

   What I Want:
   A calm, enjoyable week at work, getting fair pay and hours; alongside friendly people.

   Ways This Could Work:
   I could be paired magically with friendly people who like me and given the type of work I most enjoy.
   The mp3 player I ordered off ebay to replace my current one could be awesome at giving me good music to work to.
   I can feel fit and healthy throughout.

   My Commitment:
   To be aware of my body’s messages; my health and general emotional well-being and to act on this.

   Have a gloorrrious week!

   Reply
4. 

   amy goetz on July 24, 2011 at 1:18 pm

   thanks Havi for being so consistent with this-you are an inspiration!

   #1 rituals of awesome making and protection:
   like checking in with my force field, or actually setting a force field, and using super powers, and doing hello day.

   what i can do:
   notice my resistance, notice and celebrate when i stop and recharge or activate force field or super powers.
   be patient
   do some shiva flaily arms about the patterns that refuse to budge and the resistance.

   #2 knowings about a thing of which i have no control over.
   i want to do this thing in the fall, but i don’t know if i can afford to do this thing and there is worry and angst and what feels like no movement because i can’t have movement until other people move.

   what i can do:
   stop worrying about the money and continue to have brilliant ideas about ways to make more of it so it’s not a problem.
   shiva
   send love not angst
   let it go and stop strangling it-jeez amy!

   #3 me time that feel restorative and connective

   what can i do:
   what feels like it might be restorative? hmm you don’t know well why don’t you try a bunch of things and see what works, then document for later.
   like make a weekly date or something.

   #4 document and witness (a word i kinda hate) a conversation between martyr me and balanced me.

   this should be interesting

   i think this requires the setting aside of some time.
   and possibly some blankets.
   and definitely some tea and cookies for after.
   and possibly some shiva but that might have to come later.

   ok i think that is all i can receive…

   Reply
5. 

   Andi on July 24, 2011 at 2:52 pm

   I sent some gushing through the comment page, is that where it should have gone?

   Still thinking of gwishes. Let’s try…

   A car which has no mechanical/electrical/tire issues, with good mileage, a great sound system, A/C and cruise control.

   An agent to help market my artwork.

   The flexibility to do pigeon pose.

   Ease in finishing the e-book I’m writing on my bead embroidery techniques.

   <3

   Reply
6. 

   Tapley on July 24, 2011 at 4:13 pm

   Thing 1: Progress on Project

   Here’s what I want:
   I have a huge mega project that I have been avoiding. Today I tried the OOD on it, and am feeling much better. What I would like is to continue and to build on this whole feeling better thing.

   Ways this could work:
   I can make playdates with my project – and keep them.

   I can pay attention to the steps in the soft as well as the steps in the hard.

   I can give myself permission to do just one thing.

   My commitment.
   To try all the things listed above. 🙂

   Thing 2: Ease, flow, systems to work

   Here’s what I want:
   So, in doing the OOD for the mega project (I really need to put Metaphor Mouse on this, and come up with a less intimidating way to describe it) it came out that one of my fears is that if I pay attention to this project the rest of my life will fall apart from neglect. What I want is to have some playdates with my project, and feel like the rest of my life is getting the love and attention it needs.

   Ways this could work:
   Not really sure.

   When something needs attention, I can do “just one thing” and trust to fractal flowers.

   I can ask for help.

   My commitment.
   To be appreciative of all the good stuff in my life, and remember that I would prefer a life with lots going on to being bored.

   To take lots of notes and revue.

   Thing 1: to Rally
   Here’s what I want:
   This is really a big ol’ gwish. I want to go to a Rally in 2012.

   Ways this could work:
   The stars could align.

   Pennies from heaven could drop in my lap.

   It just could, dammit.

   My commitment.
   To be open to unexpected (or even expected) miracles.

   To invoke the spirit of Rally at home as best as I can.

   Update on Last Time:

   I asked for a good trip to NYC. It wasn’t without its challenges, but I would definitely call it a success, so yay for that. I asked for ease and comfort in my body. Still working on that. Never did do the love letters. Maybe I need to recommit and try that. I also asked for a restful day off and financial ease, and got both to a reasonable degree. Good deal 🙂

   Reply
7. 

   seagirl on July 24, 2011 at 5:12 pm

   Every VPA I never placed has been answered lately. It never dawned on me to place a VPA for a blissful weekend of boating, friends, fun, and basking. Or laughing so hard that I cried. Or sitting with my toes in the sand with out a care in the world (for the first time in such a long time). Or the job I have secretly and not so secretly wanted for quite some time.

   But as this is VPA time, I shall VPA.

   1. I’d like this thing on my neck to go away. It was a pimple, then I put all sort of stuff on it and squeezed it and poked at it and generally made it feel unwelcome and now it’s mad. I’d like it to just calm down and go away. My commitment: to leave it alone and stop touching it to see if it’s gone away yet.

   2. For the rest of the money things to be resolved. My commitment: to send the remaining funds to the Attache and be done with it. Halleluiah!

   3. For more suitable suitors on Match. Or not on Match. You know what I’m talking about here.

   4. For everything with the new job offer to be the way I want it: the money that I want (must contemplate this for a while), no Fridays, no work after 4, no travel north of the City.

   Reply
8. 

   Dawn Haney on July 24, 2011 at 8:11 pm

   I’m starting a new job tomorrow, there’s a VPA somewhere in my journals asking for pretty much exactly this particular opportunity. Yay! So lovely to feel like I’ve found what I wanted! I know VPAs don’t always work out just this neatly, but I’m super happy this one did.

   Thing for this week: Ease in the transition to a new work schedule

   Here’s what I want:

   I’ve been grumbling about working from home too much, as I’m too social to be at my best at home all the time. So I’ve got a job with the best of both worlds – a great office to go to plus a flexible schedule. I want to be smart about making sure I get what I need in this schedule – walks, time outside, good meals, etc.

   Ways this could work:

   It just could.

   The scientists could take some notes this week. When am I hungry? When do I have a lull and need a break? When I am feeling scared to ask for what I need? What’s close by that I can newly enjoy (food, yoga, the lake)?

   I could make that pasta I just bought so I have some easy lunches besides salad.

   My commitment:

   Not worry about getting it right this week (especially because it’s a weird week with all the training), but taking notes.

   Reply
9. 

   Kaleena on July 24, 2011 at 9:43 pm

   I gwish for…

   -Feeling comfortable and confident enough in my own creativity to write amazing stories. And the faith that my Right People will see my work and love it.

   -To make Art.

   -To create another avenue of income so I can cut down on my mandatory job hours.

   -To become confident enough in my abilities as a dancer in order to kick ass and take names at next weekend’s show.

   -I’m totally stealing Tapley’s Gwish: To go to Rally in 2012. GIANT Gwish. I gwish it for both of us. 🙂

   Thanks to Havi and the Lovely Commenter Mice. Everyone here is amazing.

   Reply
10. 

    Cerise on July 24, 2011 at 11:22 pm

    What has happened:
    I got my iphone via internet and I am very happy with it – LOVE!
    I totally did not think about what my first money-making thing on my blog might be. But I did some painting and journaling on other things and hope that the fractal flowers wil take care of it.

    This week I want to do some not so easy things at work with ease and not losing my joy of life over them.
    How could this happen?
    I can take the joyful weekend energy with me and infuse the whole office with it. Maybe a magical roomspray. Maybe watching magical pictures I took in the park yesterday.
    My commitment: to remind me constantly that there is a magical world outside my job. To look for magical coincidences and little joys within my job.

    I want to let my gwish be free but not not forget it.
    How this could happen: I will follow it from a corner of my eye. I will not push anything just remember from time to time that it is there and trust that it is being taken care of.
    My commitment:
    To make a little symbolic reminder of my gwish, preferably visual but without words. >To practice ovetone singing or ho opono pono when I am tightening up about it.

    Reply
11. 

    Kathleen Avins on July 25, 2011 at 6:54 am

    Okay, first, here’s a bit of rambling, incoherent gushing about the Monster stuff, which you are welcome to quote, in part or in full:

    I was expecting the Monster Manual and Coloring Book to be a comforting, inspiring, and helpful way for me to illuminate my inner shadows — and it is! — but I’ve also been delightfully surprised by the ways my pre-teen daughter and I have been using it together. What a playful, engaging, and comfortable way for the two of us to explore: how my stuff gets in my way sometimes, and how I can change that; how her stuff gets in her way sometimes, and how she doesn’t need to be dis-empowered by that; how we can communicate with each other about our scary feelings and dark thoughts in a mutually supportive way; and how acknowledging the monsters makes them more right-sized, and less scary. Plus, coloring makes everything better.

    —

    Okay, on to this week’s VPA!

    What I want: To practice Shiva Nata every day for the next seven days.

    How this can happen: Hmmm. Good question. I think that planting the seed here is already a good start. I can also remind myself frequently. I can look at ways of setting things up so that it happens naturally, as part of the rhythm of my day, which is my larger gwish.

    My commitment: To be sovereign about this. To claim my time and space. To be playful.

    Reply
12. 

    VickiB on July 25, 2011 at 8:56 am

    I realized this morning that the Insidious What’s The Use It Doesn’t Matter Anyway monster is disguising itself as Compassionate and Caring Self!

    So this week I want to notice when that occurs and figure out what is going on that triggers the pattern. And what to do about it.

    My commitment: to try things and take notes.

    Reply
13. 

    Melissa on July 25, 2011 at 10:10 am

    ***Thing I want***

    Jack Sparrow’s compass. A handy internal version that shows me the thing I want most and how to get there. Just realized it doesn’t have to be internal.

    ***Ways this could work***
    Meditation, freewriting, talking with monsters who block me from seeing where to go next. I could actually make a toy one of these with various different compass points that would give me destuckifying answers/directions to go.

    ***My commitment***
    Play with this and try to find ways to make it work. To remember the fractal flowers, that when I work on one thing, it actually touches every aspect of my life.

    ***Thing 2*** Saturday is race day. I want it to go well.
    WTCW – I sleep well before the race, hydrate and eat lots of food before and during the race.
    My Commitment – remember that this is something I do for fun.

    Reply
14. 

    Hannah K on July 25, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    My first time VPA-ing…!

    VPA #1: The entire house must be packed to move, grad school applications must be finished, homework assignment must be in, and I must be both packed and scheduled before leaving for the trip on Friday! Oh my goddddd

    Ways this could work:
    -Maybe it will be easier than I think.
    -Maybe Rachel will help me get some boxes! That would really help. (Or Katie! Although she’s MAD busy.)

    My commitment:
    -I will not worry about how pretty/used-to-the-max the insides of the boxes are–no tetris/perfectionism, just getting everything contained and labeled.
    -I will not feel baselessly guilty for packing things my roommates may need. One of them is never home and they both know I’m moving, so no one will be shocked or dismayed.
    -I will play music while I pack!

    Long-term VPA #2:
    What I want: to get some clarity and workarounds for my procrastinating.

    Ways this could work:
    -I can ask my genius therapist (but we’ve got so much other stuff in the hopper right now!).
    -I can experiment with trying to make things more easeful so I don’t intimidate myself (although I think I HAVE been doing that, with not-so-great results).
    -I can try to think of ways to remind myself about what awesome things I will get sooner if I *don’t* procrastinate? Maybe that.

    My commitment:
    -To devote some time to this while on vacation and when back and to re-ask it.

    Long-term VPA #3:
    What I want: To get to a less hopeless place about food and exercise issues. Not to feel like those aspects of life are controlling me (but also without maybe aggressively controlling them? This is sort of the question).

    How this could happen:
    -I could go to the grocery store and look for healthy things that get me excited and fired up without obsessing about the price tag. I could go to Stanley’s and Whole Foods! And make lists while I do it!
    -I don’t know. Just being aware of this, I guess?
    -I could try going to the gym before work in the morning when I get back from my trip…

    My commitment:
    -To notice fresh alive things that delight and intrigue me, and then eat them, even if they are more expensive than processed carbs.
    -To devote some energy and time to this while on vacation and when back.

    Crazy hypothetical VPA #4:
    What I want: to make some rituals of my own. To understand how one even goes about doing that–I guess, how you put formality or sacredness on a set of actions.

    Ways this could work:
    -I could read a book about rituals. (Mmm, anthropology!) Actually, I would enjoy that anyway. And then maybe see some kind of common thread. (Although you’d think being in a group would be an important part, and I want rituals for one.)
    -I could experiment with music–for which I will need a music listening device! I like the idea of something that sets the tone and is a particular, defined length of time.
    -I could give yoga a try, maybe? I DO have a yoga groupon.

    My commitment:
    -To get a book about this and read it while on vacation.
    -To note down songs that might be good for ritual-ing whenever they occur to me.
    -To make a list of occasions for which rituals would be useful. (When I am about to start working on something hard, for one! And when I am about to eat, given what I’ve written above. Also, maybe one for getting in a writing headspace. That one might involve reading! That could be crazy.)

    Dang! It DOES work. I have way more ideas about all these things than I did when I started!

    Reply
15. 

    Sue T on July 25, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    What I want:
    – Force fields for helping me deal with my own stuff about starting scary projects.

    How it could happen:
    – I could discuss with the appropriate Monsters.
    – I could visualize some physical armor.
    – I could imagine a glowing field of energ.
    – I could include protective symbols.
    – I could try several versions and write about how they work.

    My commitment:
    – Invoke and consult Monsters (again).
    – Look up armor pieces, energy fields, and symbols.
    – Visualize and then draw some of these ideas specific to me.
    – Color them!
    – Do three versions to start and imagine what types of scary projects they might work on.
    – Test them on actual projects.
    – Write results in the Book of Me. Include thanks to the Monsters.

    Reply
16. 

    Rhiannon on July 25, 2011 at 5:44 pm

    About the Monster Manual and Coloring Book (feel free to quote me and a link to rhiannonlaurie.com would be lovely):

    So the very idea of a coloring book for working through your monsters is so unlikely and fabulous that I was already COMPLETELY on board before I got it. But then it came and it was SO well done – the art was professional and cute and beautiful all at once. Just looking at the little monsters lets you see how simultaneously scary and scared they are – it gets you into a place of being ready to negotiate.

    The weird thing is that that’s not even most of the coloring book. There’s also the manual! Somehow I didn’t understand that this would be an in depth book with really great theories and practical techniques to hold your hand through any kind of stuck. They’re written intelligently but gently, ready to reach down to you when you’re right in the middle of freaking out and give you no excuses for not feeling better – only an absolute belief that you can get out of this.

    😀

    Reply
17. 

    Kirsty on July 26, 2011 at 3:05 am

    This Saturday my gf and I are planning a mini-Rally at our house, seeing as we’re in the UK and ever so far away from Portland! I want this to be a success, so I gwish for a good, peaceful, productive day.

    My commitment is- to plan food/drinks/breaks/fun activities and to enjoy it!

    Will update on Monday with how it went x

    Reply
18. 

    Whitney on July 26, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    Looking at this page filled with beautiful, hopeful Gwishes is making me realize how many of my VPAs have been answered that I didn’t even write, or post about here.

    Like fixing my own insomnia which seemed to appear for purely psychological reasons, and went away once I figured out what it wanted.

    Like figuring out what I needed in a “vacation”, which I badly needed even though I had just spent over a week traveling to cool places, and then giving it to myself, and then suddenly deciding that I felt like doing stuff again.

    And like truly internalizing the idea of amnesty. I knew in my head that if something was posted on a Sunday, and I didn’t reply until Tuesday, that no one would mind. But secretly? It would mean that I wasn’t as good as all those people who did it ON TIME. Especially if I READ the post “on time”, which I almost always do. But hanging out here has allowed that monster to leave, or at least get reassigned. So, thanks to The Universe & everyone here!

    Gwishes!!!

    VPA #1: Routine
    After engaging in a variety of de-stuckifying practices, and resolving my temporarily insane sleep schedule, I am feeling a lot more secure about How I Do Things. There are pieces of paper with words on them (sometimes known as lists), but they don’t run my life or make my hyperventilate. There’s flexibility & flow, but for once I’m not just sitting in my bed and staring at my computer screen while feeling guilty for all the things I’m *not* doing.

    I want this to continue! I still have a lot of growing to do in this regard. I also have a small monster whisper that I won’t be able to sustain this once I’ve started school again. I want to find a way to let this bloom and flow and still be sane.

    Ways This Could Work:
    -I can keep varying it a bit each day, with notes, to see what works and what doesn’t.
    -I can ask for help, ask for help, ask for help! This basically needs to go on every list I ever make for anything, ever.
    -I could discover ways to pack more relaxation in my resting times.

    My Commitment:
    -To be gentle with myself and this new system thingy.
    -To give myself permission to NOT try to use every one of the 5000 self-help systems I know of and have access to.

    VPA #2: Rally
    My Gwish is to use my Thanksgiving vacation to go to Rally. Rally! I had wavered on this idea until I saw that the Plum Duff included a stowawayship to a Rally. (Havi I love your pirate ways. It makes writing that much more fun! Hee!)

    Ways This Could Work:
    -I could get a stowawayship.
    -The Financial Aid gods could smile on me, and give me enough money to pay for the whole thing.
    -It could be a gift from a Fairy Godmother.

    My Commitment:
    -To apply for the ‘Ship sometime between Later and When It Closes.
    -To write down somewhere in the financial part of the Book of Me that Rally is a priority. Isn’t it funny how I forget things if I don’t write them somewhere I can see them?
    -To rejoice at the *idea* that Rallys exist.

    VPA #3: Relationship
    It’s complicated. It’s hard. It’s painful for the both of us. I’m doing a lot of self-work, writing, praying, thinking. The results of this work will lead to a decision. The decision will be talked about in person in about 10 days. I’m asking to be clear about my own heart. I’m asking to be ready when I need to be. I’m asking that this be as not painful as possible.

    Ways This Could Work:
    I truly don’t know yet.

    My Commitment:
    -To pray and to send compassion.
    -To not discuss this with anyone I don’t want to.
    -To be present as much as possible.

    Reply
19. 

    nat on July 26, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    a late VPA, but i trust there is VPA amnesty too.
    so happy because i finished 4 of the 5 things i had to do and was soooo late. but almost done! thank you very much humpty dumpty-like monster in the colouring book.

    and this week’s… well, for the rest of it.

    Thing #1
    have a great weekend away

    i’ll just trust i will, and enjoy the good, the bad, the funny and the unexpected

    Thing#2
    that a particular someone does something special while i’ll be in london in september

    magic, love, trust, faith and keep gwishing it will happen, because it would be so incredibly awesome if it did.

    love to all and trust and hooray for VPA’s!

    Reply
    • 

      Havi Brooks on July 26, 2011 at 9:49 pm

      Amnesty for sure! 🙂

      Reply