In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
This was another one of those weeks where things went unbelievably quickly and unbearably slowly at the same time.
And a lot of the hard and good were kind of the same thing, as it so often happens.
Happy Friday, my dear Chickeneers of the High Seas (also to all the other lovely people who have stumbled onto this thing today). Let’s do this!
The hard stuff
Post-Rally tired and post-Rally catch-up.
And staying up way too late doing wonderful things and then being super sleepy.
Happiness hangover.
Also not sleeping well because of being off schedule.
Trying to get back into routine and have it not happen.
Hard.
Came down with a cold.
Spent the week being drippy and grumpy and feeling horribly unattractive.
With chapped lips and a red nose and the worst headache ever.
So not fun!
And then everything else that happened was getting cycled through the filter of feeling crappy, so that was also not good.
A misunderstanding with myself.
Got caught up in some monster-worry-what-if-scenarios, and it took a while to disengage and untangle.
It was all fantastic once it got sorted but while I was in it…messy and uncomfortable.
Too much to do. Implementation is hard. Etc etc etc.
I don’t really have anything to add to that.
Ohmygod Besterns are this weekend.
This is, of course, a good thing.
Bridgetown Brawl! Western regionals!
Did you know? SIX of the top seven roller derby teams in North America are in our division.
So some of the best derby in the world will be happening this weekend. And it’s happening in Portland! I don’t have to travel!
I’m still putting it in the hard in addition to the good because this is going to be an incredibly busy, loaded, high-stress, anxiety-filled weekend. Which is pretty much the last thing I need right now.
But derby trumps pretty much everything, so I’m going to make it work.
If Rose City makes it to nationals, you will hear me screaming my head off. And I will do the thing I swore off doing and fly on a plane. Besterns!
The good stuff
Besterns! The good part
A weekend of INCREDIBLE derby action.
With some of my shivanauts from the team I sponsor will be out there skating for Rose City’s Wheels of Justice.
And friends-on-skates (Tootie and Juno) visiting from Denver.
And the opportunity for some serious payback when we take down BAD this year. May it be so.
And ohmylord an actual shot at spot #3.
This is going to be unbelievably exciting and eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
If you’re at one of the bouts, let me know on Twitter or at the Frolicsome Bar. I will be wearing ridiculous outfits that are purple and sparkly and involve props.
The photo shoot happened before I became a snot-covered red-nosed, smudge-covered, depressive anti-social crankypants in hiding.
Yay for photos!
Yay for looking significantly more good looking while the photo-taking was happening.
If it had been this week we might have had to burn them all.
Or I guess delete them. Ah, the digital age. So much less dramatic.
Anyway, I finally got around to putting new pics up here. Thank you, Kylie!
The best day ever, every minute of it!
First I read this tweet from @mightytoycannon about how the Oregon Children’s Theater was having a giant costume sale. With whiskey.
As you might already know, costumes and whiskey are pretty much my two favorite things in the entire world.
If you were going to design an event with me in mind, one where you drink whiskey and try on costumes AT THE SAME TIME would be perfect.
Really the only way it could be better would be if it combined roller derby and Shiva Nata in some way.
So I went. And — hey, speaking of Shiva Nata, three wonderful shivanauts from the last Rally (Rally!) who were still in town came with me.
Also I ran into Skeeve Holt. So there was a derby connection too. See?!
We bought costumes. We wore them on the bus and the bus driver said YAY. We went and were Captured By Porches and drank beer and ate mac+cheese.
And cackled maniacally as we plotted more spectacular future adventures for the Playground and for us.
So. COSTUMES!
We already have a fairly well-stocked Costumery in the Treasure Room at the Playground.
But we always need more costumes! And now we have some absolutely spectacular ones.
Seriously. They are the best. I cannot wait until Crossing the Line haulaway so we can have a massive costume extravaganza. And not just for our Halloween party but whenever we want.
Actual text message transcript between me and the gentleman:
Me: Also I am now the proud custodian of outrageous fur-trimmed pointy-toed gnome-goblin shoes!
Him: !!
Me: And a hat with a teacup on it, purple silk gloves, and the world’s longest feather boa. And red goggles. And bat wings.
Him: So you’re David Bowie?
Yeeeees.
The massive flood of epiphanies from last week is not over.
All that insane Shiva Nata we did at Rally (Rally!) last week totally paid off.
I have been having brilliant realization after brilliant realization, almost faster than I can jot them down.
Everything is changing. Everything is changing in a really, really good way.
Updates.
Updated the events page and a bunch of other stuff.
Things are moving.
I have the vision for what I want.
Which I knew before.
But now it’s clear. Everything that landed at this last Rally is now really, really clear.
All these different bits and pieces I’ve been working on for the past six years are coming together in a new way, and I get it now. Impossible to describe, but it’s really an amazing thing.
And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week?
Pissy Little Fits.
They kind of do this loud rock thing. With some country thrown in. Except that it’s really just one guy.
And THANK YOUs for the lovely presents that arrived this week.
The marvelous kaleidescope and the just right bobble-whatzit contraption from Waverly.
As well as some hoochiedoodles (which are the same thing, apparently) from Eileen.
The pirate mermaid print from a Secret Admirer.
Stickers and tea and oatmeal from the Rallygators.
Lots of wonderful letters.
Thank you.
Other things I enjoyed this week:
This from Cairene about how a shared location doesn’t mean a shared approach. Yes!
This from Anna about swirly patterning aftermath from Shiva Nata, but also every single other thing she has ever written.
This beautiful piece from Yael about permission-based healing. This is really important. Also, wish Yael a happy 40th birthday today and send her love. She’s someone I know from Rally!
Obviously I now need an eagle suit. God how I love Bill Bailey!
Announcement time!
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
- 5 spots left for Crossing the Line: the 8 Day Voyage. (password: haulaway). I highly recommend signing up before I have a chance to write the copy. Bonuses!
- Reminder: Rally prices have to go up in January. Rallies are filling quickly. So take a look at the SCHEDULE for this new year and make a Gwish about when/how.
- Heidi’s newest potion is called Sprezzatura: Hocus Pocus! Just reading the page will make you feel better. Get some! And listen to the recording of some guy saying Sprezzatura, because yay! We’ll have this at the Toy Shop too.
I think that’s everything? If not, I’ll add stuff to the Very Personal Ads over the weekend.
That’s it for me …
And of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments if you feel like it.
Yes? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s okay if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — you can join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
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Oooooooooooooooooooooh the costume party sounds FABULOUS and now I want to throw one.
Also joining in as a Chickeneer of the High Sea!
For the first week in a while, there is more good than hard and YAY – celebrations
*** The Hard ***
— feeling really anxious about sending in a paper, about the reaction and about never ever being good enough.
— belated sadness & thinking ‘if only’.
realizing the research could have been better AND easier if only I had done something differently in the past. a lot of sadness happening about that.
— shoes being thrown. it shouldn’t happen again in the future and it shouldn’t matter but i couldn’t sleep about it.
*** The Good ***
—- No Email Friday. It’s a new thing. It started this week but I feel a tradition coming up. Lo-ving it!
—- One Quiet Work Week. So healing, just to be home and work quietly, and have coffees with my mom, and have no social obligations.
—- Started running again – it’s not easy but it makes me so happy.
—- Insights/Epiphanies about my main pattern of not feeling good enough. It’s hard to start thinking about but it’s also wonderful to accept boundaries and say ‘this is what i did’ and ‘it’s enough’.
It’s crazy foggy out, which basically describes my state all week….
The Hard:
-Crappy anxiety.
-Overwhelm in general.
-Under the weather — some kind of infection.
-Outsider complex extraordinaire.
-Options re: feet issue are becoming fewer. Still painful and frustrating.
The Good:
+Some good things coming up — ESOL teaching starting up, taking a fall class on ESOL lesson planning.
+Attending a new bookclub meeting — should be fun!
+A Fall Foliage Trip up north coming up next week!
+New treatment re: anxiety may provide some relief.
+Taking it easy due to feeling tender physically and emotionally. More legs up the wall! More corpse pose!
Chickens Ahoy!
The Hard:
* Was feeling foggy too until I sighted a pattern, a very old one and lo and behold fog cleared up (hear the sound of snapping fingers). I guess this goes in the good too.
* Writing the big paper, or shall I say, not writing it. Stuckness. Notice the word big.
* House officially on sale, became real. Sad (see good)
* Uncomfortable phone call with hurting, shoe -throwing step mom. (see good).
The Good:
* Noticing that all the hard stuff also had good too. Awesome.
* A small bit of movement toward writing the paper.
* Sad about the house, I’ve lived here so long and raised both my children here, but also sensing the future sale as a gift to my future. Feedback from real estate mavens was good.
* Son had his band (Emil and Friends) featured in Rolling Stone online – SO PROUD!!!
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/exclusive-stream-emil-and-friends-bouncy-prescriptions-20110914
* Shoe from step mom made minimal contact – yay
A delicious weekend to all.
Cheers Chickeneers!
The Hard:
– Sad Panda Me. My husband has been out of town all week. It is just better when I get to see him every day.
– Research co-author sprang a deadline on me … resulting in my entire Wednesday being hijacked to make 2000 photo copies and sort them into treatment and control instructions in groups of 25 and then placed into envelopes.
– bout of laziness = no going to grocery store = no decent food in the house
The Good:
– a weekend visit from my very best friend (we wore fake mustaches)
– heading to see my sister in MN today (and getting to meet my niece for the first time!!!)
– clarity on a long-standing wardrobe issue
A hat with a teacup on it! With purple gloves! I need to see this. Also excited that it exists.
The hard:
Ill. Feeling yicky and out of whack all week. Also running for worlds grumpiest person.
Some episodes of dooooooooom thoughts. And by some I mean, several hours non-stop, repeatedly.
A bit of friction at home – stuff coming up that was really setting my stuff off, and then feeling like a horrible selfish person to boot.
Being poked in the cervix until it bleeds = not fun at all. Felt like I’d been punched in the stomach for the rest of the day.
Combination of cervix + ill meant dragging myself through ballet class and not really enjoying it.
The good.
The person I like still likes me. And he sent me this incredibly excited package. The most delicious tea and wine ever. A mix tape. So much thought put into it. Yay!
Going for a walk somewhere I’d never been before on Sunday -beautiful and enjoyable and peaceful, even if it was a bit rainy. (Although luckily in woods for most of the time which kept the worst at bay.) Also found a couple of potential photo locations.
Been enjoying doing research for essay, got to indulge my love of academic libraries too yesterday. And managed to get a quick and dirty self-portrait I love.
And then went to a favourite cafe for chai and chocolate cake. And people watched to my hearts content. And saw a woman with bright pink hair and a bright turquoise leopard fur coat.
This incredible magical-feeling shift happened when I suddenly realised that I’d pretty much got everything that I thought were my priorities and goals arse about face and just stopped fretting about 90% of what I was fretting about. Completely incredible.
And now I’m enjoying a cup of the most incredible tea, and the sun is shining outside, so I’m going to chill out for a bit and then walk into town to do some bits and pieces and enquire about dyeing my hair back to blonde.
Heellooo possums!!
@Jane – awww, nice turnaround, enjoy your fret-free-ness!! Lovely.
Moi…
Hard shtuff
– repressed dread and self-loathing (because who actually wants to FEEL that crap?) which then comes out as blllleeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhh lethargy and low-grade anxiety. Cue chewed nails and creaking shoulders all last weekend. And Mon/Tue. Obsessively checking for interesting updates on the internets which is totally another anxiety coping mechanism I mean interesting clue…
– generally appalled by the pervasive stupidity of so much public policy. DUHH!!!
– waves of nausea and exhaustion and cracking headaches which I have been informed are probably pregnancy hormonal. Didn’t happen like this last time! Not what I was expeeeeecctiiiiing!! (Must mean its a girl this time, right?)
– stupid of the stupid stupid bloody bureaucracy stupidities all over the place when I feel like my plate is already full thank you and it’s all just stupid. I just want the switchboard to know my phone number so they can put my calls through to me and also for the hospital to tell me when I can come in for an appointment before the baby is crowning. Please.
– my plate is already full thank you
– feeling like perceiving that everybody all around me wants to keep dishing me up more stuff to deal with all the time.
Knowing that is not true which leads to extra ladlefuls of guilt gravy and judgement croutons for being so sensitive/weak/failey/blah blah blah.
With a side-dish from the parts of me that KIND OF get the whole acceptance/loving kindness thing telling me I should be so much more advanced in my acceptance and loving kindness practice by now…. !!!!
Oh eff off, supercilious shithead therapy junky parts of me! Bloody hell…. I don’t actually work with these ideas in order to give you more batons to beat me around the head with!! Blimey… (I am working with a cast of children inside me. Those ones are the snobby sixteen year olds who’ve just read Catcher in the Rye and really know so much more about it than YOU….. Barf! Ha!)
– money management. I am not good at it.
Yawn.
That will certainly suffice.
GOOD shtuff!!!!!
+ little lad turned five yesterday. !!!! (This actually cannot be so and yet, it is true).
This is the first year he really “got it” and so we had fun all week building up the anticipation, “are you going to have a birthday? (yes.) will you be five? (yes.) would you like to have a ….party? (yes!) would you like a …..cake? (yes!!) would you like a …….present?!? (yes!!) would you like a ……….BIKE?!?!? (YES!!! I want a bike. I want a motorbike!) No.”
My favourite part of the day yesterday was having him run into the kitchen SEVEN times to say “I’ve got a bike!!! Come look!!”. And then, on the occasions I did go, showing me EVERY TIME “Look!” (ding ding ding) “A bell!”
We all had fun. Also: strawberries!! Mmmmmmmm…..
+ things feel good between me and my love. Could the merry-go-roller-coaster actually be slowing down a little? Yay!
+ meta. I see meta everywhere. Taking notes. Looking forward to devouring more information. My soul is hungry!
+ brain friends and batcaves. Having a new young friend to have lunch with, which means I don’t actually hate every twenty-something Gen Y-er after all. Also having a vicarious
rieslingnaughty tea in a tea cup with another work friend. At 3 o’clock on a school day! In the work cafe! Hehehehe…. And talking about all the information I’m absorbing and getting good feedback. Yay, friends!+ actually getting work done instead of procrastinating the fuck out of it feels so much better. Huh. Weird. Who would have possibly conceived of such a notion, hey Inner-Procrastinator? Hmmm?
+ huh, fancy that, the tiniest bit more accountability on my ‘self-work’ (ye gods, metaphor mouse come quickly!) gets my ass ever so slightly more into gear without it being such a big deal after all. Also, Pocket Shiva Nata app actually helps me find skerricks of time in my day to do shiva nata!! Several days this week!!! More than just good intentions!!!! Huh. Weird!!
+ boss of the most jobwebby job is actually a really nice lady not crazy. Feeling like we’ll find a way through and that she recognises it’s not me being useless/lazy/weak/failey, it IS the job/project that is crazy and far beyond the scope of what ANYONE could do. And that she is not going to let it stay that way…. (which some bosses I’ve known would TOTALLY do…)
+ spring has sprung. In fact it must be equinox today. Yes, it’s the 23rd, there you are. Roll on summer! Mwah!! Pagan rituals and flower wreaths and bonfire dances or whatever you’re meant to do on the spring equinox.
+ that is so not gas bubbling in my belly while I’ve been typing. Oh my gawwd!! I am spawn host! Teehee!!
Good night chooks. (Well, it’s night down here for me, and spring too. Y’all better come over like Oprah told ya to!)
xox
You guys! Hugs for the hard, yay for the good! Friday!
Forgot to share: a picture of me from the costume sale…
I can’t even express how delightful that new picture is. Your hair is the perfect shade of blue.
This week’s hard:
– Had a little fender-bender yesterday. No one hurt, just a bit of fender damage to the other car. Broke my 20+-year no-accident streak, though, and I feel kinda stupid.
– Time flying. So many plans, so little time.
– Complete collapse of both the gym-3x/week-no-matter-what and the inbox-zero systems in this week of overwhelm. Gotta get back on both of those.
This week’s good:
– Because I haven’t had an accident in so long, this won’t affect our insurance rates. And the other woman was really, really nice about the whole thing.
– Fantastic group of students at my class Tuesday night. Everyone seemed to have a great time.
– A couple of special orders out of nowhere, and acceptance to a holiday boutique that I think will be quite good for me. And the price of silver is finally coming down a bit, just in time for me to stock up for holiday shows and orders.
– Great show this past Saturday.
Happy Friday, Chickeneers!
Quick chicken today, just to say that although I’ve been a bit quiet lately, I am still very much here. Hard stuff has been hard, but I’m beginning to emerge on the other side of it, strong and shimmering and ready for a new season. Hugs and virtual soup for everyone who wants them!
Oh, week. But it’s Friday! Chicken! Yay!
The hard:
-Losing stuff on my trip. A bit unreasonably upset about this, according to objective observers, nothing that was lost was necessarily that valuable. But still. I was so careful of that map thing and then I left it on the plane and it was a present for my brother and he’ll think I don’t love him…
-Hi hormones. Please chill. the heck. out. Thank you.
-Job hunting continues to go not very well. Feeling pressured to take a not ideal job, whatever that would do to my ongoing career; and from other corners feeling pressured to not do that under any circumstances ever the world will end. Not having a clue how this situation can offer me the sense of security I so desperately want. Having less of a clue how I can make anybody happy, myself included.
-Feeling panic because my plan for the event of taking the not ideal job just fell apart a titch. …huh?
-The internet (and a friend) tells me that there are these things called stress charts. My score is sort of.. er.. off the chart. Relatedly, I’ve been sleeping badly and generally feeling awful.
The good:
-Realizing that normal people would also be feeling awful in my particular situation helped. It’s sort of like an enormous permission slip to do whatever I need to do to make myself feel more comfortable, for a while at least. Including putting off taking the not ideal job until I’ve given the alternatives some more time. And turning on the furnace a little. And insisting, as kindly as I can, on being given space and days off with respect to my family.
-Also realizing that until the stress thing is under control, it’s probably smart to not make any major life decisions anyway. One thing at a time.
-Mornings cool enough to enjoy tea/chai/hot chocolate. And to wear hats! I love hats.
What a week. What a month. What a year. But what a weekend, I hope! Happy Friday everybody.
@Claire P – Thanks. 🙂 You’re first point on the good made me smile too.
@Havi – A Havi in one of her natural habitats. You remind me a bit of me kitten when she’s stalking something (normally my dinner). (That’s a good thing also.)
And I came back to add a bit more good:
Have hair appt to bleach my locks on Tuesday. Decision made to spend money on this made with absolute minimum of guilt and agonising. (Possibly remembering the demented tiger look I sported for about 12 hours in the spring when I bleached my hair myself might have helped with that.)
The sun is shining, it is warm and I had a lovely walk home from town along the beach. Saw a group of foreign language students who obviously came from somewhere landlocked discovering the joys of the beach and sea. (There was a lot of squealing and poking things.)
Befriended a gorgeous friendly kitty who lives down the road from me. Luckily I already have two cats otherwise there might be a catnapping episode.
Have beautiful weekends and weeks everyone.
*** the hard ***
– husband nagging me about grad school stuff
– work… but not working at work
– headache from sunday – tuesday that would just not go away
*** the good ***
– conversation with husband about his nagging and resulting goodness. basically i told him nagging makes me more scared (and explained that yes, telling me to go do sthg every 20 minutes is nagging – somehow he didn’t get that) and basically quoted havi’s post on avoidance at him and why that meant being nagged about it made me less likely to work on it. he agreed to try to stop nagging (he’s still in the just power through it phase, but i explained it was like him calling the dentist for an appt and somehow it clicked for him)
– realizing that horrible headache was a sinus headache and therefore taking my allergy medicine fixed me.
– went running on Wednesday when I felt better, lots of energy on Wednesday 🙂
– scheduling one month’s worth of chapters for my blook/webfic thing
Just saw the costume pictures
boa-tiful
The full body tutu is fantastic.
Wish I could have there.
Wow! you put me and my post in the Friday Chicken! Best birthday gift ever!!! yaying and grateful.
Ah Friday.
A Lot of Good:
Had to attend all day continuing education class for profession and found webcast so I don’t have to leave the house! Yay technology!
Lamb stew on the stove.
Ordered a second hula hoop.
Friends are all out of town this weekend which means I can be a total homebody (but still visit them on Facebook.)
Cleaning the house! While watching said web cast!
Did something really good for someone yesterday. The sort of thing that makes you realize you really are on earth for a purpose. And that your business is so worthwhile.
Central AC to cut the humidity of these days, so I can roast squash while not roasting myself.
Guts are back working as a team. And herbs from acupuncturist are keeping them on task.
I can’t remember the last time I chickened, I think maybe a month ago? It’s good to see everyone. Especially with blue hair! 😀
Hard:
Interviews with no outcomes.
Ran into an ex who had told me he was “too busy” during the week to come into town, on the day he was “too busy”, with someone else. Hurt at the thoughtlessness.
Tummy troubles.
It got hot again, just as I was enjoying my pants and new boots.
Good:
Really amazing binders on sale at Staples for $1.40 each. Yay!
Deciding to work through Julia Cameron’s “The Vein of Gold” to re-set everything. (anyone want to play with me? I’m still in the Kingdom of Story)
Apple cake.
Electric blue eyeliner.
Oh, and drawing. Two days of it. I bought some pumpkins and gourds at the farmer’s market and drew them on Wednesday, and today I did a drawing of a necklace I made.
Project Runway. Yes, I’m late to the party. But I am learning so much about myself by watching this show. So helpful.
Which is good, because I have my own “Project Runway” type opportunity that showed up this week, and I have a month to “work it” 😀
Getting to go shopping with my Aisha. We had a blast, even though Marty was joking at the end about having a pizza delivered to DSW. (I think he was joking) (LOL)
Happy weekend, y’all!!! Glitter hugs!
Havi! *Really* don’t want to come off like an creepy gushy embarrassing fangirl, but gah, such prettiness! Extra pretty with the blue hairs! I have no idea how those cheekbones and photography-related stuckness can even coexist.
Friday!
The hard: My evenings and nightly rituals. Being eaten. And as a result, mornings being eaten. No quiet time, no yoga, no drawing, no calm walks, no shiva nata. Do not like. My time has been eaten by fun things, but can I have fun AND go to bed at 10 pm? Is this possible?
Also, the monies. Gah, the monies and issues.
A major rejection from a thing I didn’t expect. Rejection hurts. Working through patterns around the rejection, which I am practicing for the first time. But it feels good to be present with the pain while also knowing that it is a temporary state that does not define me.
The rest of the “hard” is actually intertwined with the good… Continuing to deal with the aftermath of allowing myself to call myself things that used to be forbidden. Incredible thrills and openness and amazing energy, but also, ohmigod the overwhelming terror that strikes sometimes. THE TERROR! The paralysis. I wake up with them. Dutifully employing emergency calming techniques. I talked to monsters and walls and even a statue this week. (There was a statue!) Learned crazy amounts about my patterns that I NEVER understood before. Relief. But also, having to untangle things. Hard.
But… letting myself notice, really notice, when things are easier. Allowing the ease.
Okay, the good-good:
You know what? I’ve encountered a lot of illnesses and deaths-of-acquaintances-of-friends this week. And I’m fucking glad and thankful of my health. My body is sound; my mind is busy, but basically also sound. THIS IS GOOD. Excellent.
I am also learning tremendously. Growing pains! But growing is good! I shall be taller.
Also? My evenings were eaten because I have too many excellent friends who want to spend time with me. The world wants Simone to be up and doing stuff in the evening. Also Good. Feeling loved. Yay.
Lots of gentle little hopes for the coming week. I pray for moments of pause and slow savoring.
Full body hugs for everyone else! Have a lovely weekend.
Hard:
* hearing that aunt is in hospital
* mysterious aches and cloggyness and ookiness
* mucho hating on self for not being further along on Must Get Done Bys
* feeling sad and angry about things that aren’t to be
Good:
* 17th wedding anniversary today
* the things that matter most will get done on time
* March poetry reading becoming more real and more sparkly
* serious discussion w/publisher re producing my first chapbook
* finding a terrific florist in Chattanooga
Shalom shabbat, all y’all.
Another one good point: my stick insect, sensory processing different-ordered, food averse Little Lad is eating scrambled eggs. !!!!!!!!!!!! Loaded w/ silverbeet (Swiss chard) and parsley and cheese and butter. Which he likes to make (ie. touch and smell!) himself. !!!!!!!!!! I know, totally not a big deal for most kids. But a reeeeeally big deal for us.
Apparently the trick is to get our really good looking mini-skirt wearing friend over who he has a crush on and get her to dish them up and, hey, all of a sudden, not such a big deal after all. Actually mum, it’s quite yummy mum.
Feeding him two to three eggs a day until we get some meat on that skinny ass!!!
SO IN THE GOOD PILE!!! Hooray!!!!!
I’m so glad it’s time to Chicken!
Also pleased to read so many good things are happening for so many people.
Okay, this week:
Hard
– Son has been diagnosed with COPD and emphysema. He gets short of breath when he talks. He may have pulmonary hypertension as well.
– MrB’s milestone birthday/survival celebration is tomorrow and there is still so much to do!
– and some of his relatives who said they “wouldn’t miss it” are backing out. It seems that other things matter more to them than he does. And I know that if he had not survived, if this were his funeral, they would make an effort to be here. So why not make the effort to come now, when they can enjoy each other’s company, when it will be a happy occasion? Every time I think about it, I have to eat M&Ms.
– Garage work that was supposed to be done weeks ago is still not finished; everything is taking longer than it should.
– Pain, especially my knee, and pain meds that made me fuzzy-headed without extinguishing the pain.
Good
+ M&Ms, which in small doses, act as an antidepressant!
+ Volleyball knee pad is helping my knee more than the knee stabilizer the doctor gave me or Ace bandages, so I’m able to do more, which is a good thing because I have so much to do.
+ I baked cookies and cinnamon rolls for tomorrow and the kitchen smells wonderful.
+ Family devotions tonight, with son and daughter in law, and that was different and also good.
+ Window fans and quilts!
+ Napping!
+ “The Butler”! The cleaning service I just started using is called “The Butler Did It.” He came in and got right to work and, wow! What a difference! He did as much in six hours as it would have taken me six days to do even if I weren’t in pain.
+ I can’t wait to see some of the people who are coming for the party. Pete drove for two days to get here!
+ Sparkling water! It’s been two weeks since I had some and I love it so much. With lots of ice.
+ I’m trying to keep the attitude that those people who chose not to come are sovereign, have the right to make that choice etc, and that it will be their loss! Because it is going to be a great day and they will miss a lot of fun.
+ Photos that MrB took, which I am framing and putting up everywhere, which look great and kind of show off that there’s so much more to his life than just coping with health problems. I am uplifted by these reminders.
+ There was a thing I wanted to do that I kept putting off because I had to do other things first. Today I did a little Shiva Nata and watched the demo and then, without conscious planning, went and began the thing that I wanted to do, before moving on to the things that had to be done “first” because they didn’t have to be done first! Shiva Nata is particularly helpful when I’m dealing with a series of things that need to be done and I don’t know where to start.
I’m keeping the Rallytude through this week of recovery-and-preparation: play, curiosity, being conscious, permission, exploration, napping… Next week, which will be all about recovery from this week, I know that napping will continue to be a part of what I do. I hope that play and fun and exploration etc will be too!
Have a great weekend, everyone, and may the forthcoming week be full of good things and much less hard!
@ Andi
I can join the Julia Camerona workbook effort!
I don’t have the Vein of Gold but I have the Right to Write and for October, I will be working on writing a bit about your own life – one hour a day.
It’s a challenge but I am super excited. And if it works out I can take it as a warm-up for National Novel Writing Month in November 🙂
keep me posted 🙂
Loads of love to everyone, for both the hard and the good. Excitement for particular goods up there 😉
Also, I am *so excited* that I will get to see the gnoblin shoes sometime soon!
As for me? WHOA. The whoas keep coming, in a good way. But I must acknowledge some of the hard.
Hard:
– Divorcing friend getting to the end of her rope.
I want to help, want to DO something, but this is not mine and I need to let her work it the way she needs to work it. All I can do is offer, be open to her, and offer advice if she asks for it.
– Still no health insurance.
This will be an ongoing. I am starting to feel the need for my metformin.
– Houseguest from Monday until Thursday.
Good friend, but VERY hard time. I work from home & it was difficult for me to focus, to the point where I had to sacrifice writing time to hit my deadline.
– Facebook’s changes.
I know it seems petty, but I *like* my privacy and I like being able to control it. Seeing evidence that the new changes have mucked with their ability to detect privacy settings properly had me unaccountably angry, because I’ve started to rely upon Facebook to maintain my relationships with my extended family.
– The revolution will not be televised.
I never really understood all the implications therein until watching all the handheld video made of the folks protesting on Wall Street. So sad. SO sad.
– Will not be able to do Nanowrimo this year.
I really want to, but my time has suddenly, lovingly, been usurped because…
– Still no money to bring the lovelyman here, but he’s coming in December anyway!!
AAAA AAAA *cue panic* *cue flailing* *cue the good*
Good:
– Lovelyman is coming in December! DECEMBER 1ST!
Last Sunday he told me December, which was fine because I assumed end of December, but then while he was visiting this weekend he told me December 1st, and I started laughing with glee and the onset of panic because OMG SOON but that was SO what I wanted and if he has shanghaied himself into it, I never ever mentioned a date to him so his choices completed coincided with mine and OMG run on sentence *gasp* *breathe*
– Lovelyman visit this weekend.
It was very good. And relaxing. And got me all energized for work today, which is pretty unusual for visits. Woo!
– Family friend is keeping me updated on Wall Street.
She’s there and being VERY careful. Posting a lot. Pointing to people in other countries who are posting more than Americans are. It’s still sad, but at least she is being safe.
– New client REALLY likes me.
To the point where the woman who approves my timesheets is drawing hearts on my documentation.
– I really like my new client!
I laugh every day I get to talk to them. This is such a great relief. When I was at my job at Beeg Entertainment Mogul, I had a few folks who used to love to make me laugh, and at my job at Hyooge University, there was one person who liked to make me laugh, but he was so tired he’d stopped at the end. Having people who don’t necessarily mean to but cause it anyway? Priceless.
– The body is starting to move.
My muscles are pretty sore this morning, but it’s progress!
– The writing is still moving.
Like sludge, but still! Moving!
Everything for me is moving, and breathing. I hope you all have very happily moving weeks to come.
Havi lovely,
Thank you for the internet shout-out. I still can’t believe that I get to live in Portland, that I got to do shiva nata with you, and that you have beautiful bluest hair.
Waving across the river at you, through the fogs and clouds.
Xo,
Anna