Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Okay, we have kind of a lot of these today.
I am humming a hum while I write them.
Thing 1: Excitement for Plum Duff! Ease. Joyfulness.
Here’s what I want:
It’s Plum Duff!
Plum Duff is this thing that we do very occasionally in the business where you can get stuff you normally can’t, and there are bonuses and everything is just better.
So there are a couple things I want related to this.
One is JOYFUL ENTHUSIASM and great excitement. Much rejoicing!
And the other is this:
Plum Duff goes until September 14. That sounds crazy far away because in my mind we’re still only like, halfway through July.
But actually it is in only five days, and also: five days go by incredibly fast.
And what always happens with Plum Duff is that it disappears in a whoosh! Puff. Of. Smoke.
Then people make the saddest faces because they thought they had time but they missed it. So I either need to remember to send out a reminder email (highly unlikely!) or people need to remember that Plum Duff is going to end sooner than they think.
Or we could just sell out of everything. That would work too.
Ways this might work:
I can do things in a grand fashion. And maybe even — who knows? — like a fairground stripper. Because that’s always fun.
But yeah. I can have fun with this.
I can be curious about this.
I can write about this.
And I can make it part of my project this week at Rally (Rally!).
But it has to be ease-filled. I have enough to do this week. Let it be fun, please.
I’m playing with…
Singing South Australia.
And giving you guys the link! Here is the link to the plum duff page, which asks for a PASSWORD and the password is heaveaway and I am also going to tell you again so that people do not write and ask for the password.
THE PASSWORD! HERE IT IS. I AM GIVING IT TO YOU NOW: heaveaway
Thing 2: Fridays off.
Here’s what I want:
What if…. what if we took Fridays off?
But a different kind of off. Off from all the usual things that we do when not working. Not going to dance. Not going anywhere.
A day for HOUSE. For dishes and laundry and sweet slow intentional puttering. For being with the garden. For closing things that need closing.
To drink juice and take naps and just be at home not doing things.
Glasses, not contacts. Just OFF. To be off.
And for this to be ritual and have a name, not to feel like sick or depressed. Not to have a checklist of things (even though I would like possibilities, like the Sending of Postcards to Svevo. Or the Calling of Amna!).
Ways this might work:
I don’t know. I really want this!
I’m playing with…
Skipping some stones.
Thing 3: the tiniest pile, may it magically disappear.
Here’s what I want:
These eight pieces of paper have been sitting by my bed for three weeks.
I could look at them. I could do something with them.
I think it’s time.
Ways this might work:
Make a playdate with Marisa!
Bring it to Rally!
Use the Floop!
Find out if there are any iguanas hiding.
I’m playing with…
Putting it here. May it move and change.
Thing 4: How is this useful? Specifically, where is the treasure?
Here’s what I want:
Something interesting happened this week.
I was feeling VERY upset about getting screwed over by that place that took my money and closed.
And then Harmony (that’s Incoming Me, slightly-future me) had something to say about that and I did not like it.
But basically her point was that something very good can come out of this if I let it, but that I have to get quiet enough to find out what it is.
She also said that I need to ask Kiva about what’s happening with the furniture. So that was interesting.
Also she wants me to turn my closet into a reading nook. I have no idea what to do about that. Harmony is even more kookypants than I am.
Ways this might work:
You know what?
This needs to also be a fractal flower for other things. YES.
And I do want to talk to Kiva about this. And Ashley. They’re my only connections that I know of. But Portland is a small town disguised as a city, I probably have lots of connections. Ask Hope too. And Dana.
I’m playing with…
Asking over and over again, with no forced gratitude, only curiosity:
How could this frustrating situation possibly turn out to be good and/or useful for me? I still don’t have to like it, but where are the hidden doors?
And then listening and taking notes.
Thing 5: Two presents for Havi Bell. Well, a date for progress on these.
Here’s what I want:
One has to do with the secret coronation and one has to do with the love seat which is a very interesting word (love plus seat, love and seat, love and sitting, everyone should love sitting).
Both of these are highly charged with Havi-Stuff.
So she is going to have to work on the stuff before she can be okay with thinking about these.
Ways this might work:
Third person. Always third person.
Havi can use a proxy. She can use a metaphor. She will probably need secret code all over the place.
I’m playing with…
Wanting, being conflicted, wanting anyway.
Setting a reminder here that the ask is not for the things themselves or even making progress on the things themselves.
It is just about being slightly more okay with the wanting.
Thing 6: Index cards doing magic.
Here’s what I want:
There is a systems issue at Stompopolis, and I need to work it out this week.
My plan is to play with ALL THE INDEX CARDS.
And somehow the right patterns will reveal themselves.
Ways this might work:
I could make a board like a detective might do.
Or a secret wall like Charlie Crews (Charlie Crews!) had for mapping out the mystery and related possible conspiracies in Life.
I can do shiva nata on it until I see all the patterns and the new configurations.
I can talk to slightly future me about what will help.
I’m playing with…
Asking the 1st Mate to pick up some index cards. Colorful ones!
Wearing a costume.
Dancing around the room like a madwoman.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
One of the things I wanted the most was to find some sort of replacement for Beach Day that I could do on the Monday of Labor Day. And a big part of that was uncovering what the hidden elements are that make a day at the beach what it is.
So it turned out that one of those elements is the fact that everyone else is at work. So none of my possible-beach-day scenarios ended up being appealing to me. That was very interesting. I had a lovely nap, and a lovely playdate with my playmate. And it was kind of like a sick day. I think next year I may need to try actually going somewhere that feels like a holiday.
I wanted to brunch Plum Duff and we did it! In the last minute!
Then I wanted to write the big OOD, and I did not. It is scaring me. Taking that to Rally.
I also wanted to exit August and enter September, and we did both of those things here on the blog.
Also I wanted to prepare for a visit, and there was much thinking about that.
And I wanted to turn a corner, and the corner is here. This week, baby. Let’s do it.
Playful playing. Shelter for the comments.
What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
Here or on your own or in your head. It’s all fine. Or call silent retreat!
I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.
If you’re looking for suggestions or heart-sighs or anything else related to your wish, you will need to ask for that because our default mode is giving each other space and spaciousness for the process.
This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We make space for people’s wishes.
That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!
As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.
xox
Postscript! You guys! Plum Duff is over in just FIVE DAYS. Plum Duff is magical and sparkly and great, and I want you to read about Plum Duff before it’s gone so that I don’t have to write about it! Password: heaveaway
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A day of glasses and not contacts!! Yay! I love those days.
Ok, here’s the thing. Some things happened this weekend that involved me paying $824 to a car place for some car things. And then the next day my car wanted more things that were going to cost eleventy hundred. So, I cried. And cried some more. And questioned my life and my worth as a human being and every decision I’ve ever made up until this point.
And then my friend called. The kind of friend who says “what can I do?” (and means it) and so she met me at car buying place, and we told them she was my agent and all communications would go through her. And they did. And it was not sickening.
And here’s the other thing, there is now some financial gymnastics that need to be done tomorrow on account of the new car PLUS all the other things that had been allotted to this coming week like 2 hotel nights, new sneakers, taxes and some other pieces of paper sitting on my table.
So, my vision is that I hit my marks, and make my flips and turns and stick the landing and all the monies get where they need to be and everyone is happy and grateful and paid. And I drive home in my new car. And I can still make my trips that need to be made.
Yay for VPAs! 🙂
I skipped last week, and two weeks ago, for two weeks straight, I asked for clarity about my “garden plan” (proxy for planning/planner/projects/stuff.)
It came in slowly this past week… beautifully. Things that weren’t clear just sort of shifted. I poked around in the binders I had, and played with the papers, and things sort of sifted out where they needed to go. I also finally got my arms around how to make the different things go together, like zipper teeth. So YAY, there!
For this week:
I’d really like to put the plan into action, and use it. Try working the plan (although that sounds gross, really need something else there.)
What this could look like:
I could refer to my binders. Use the Time binder. Every day. And I could sort of play with the steps, like doing Shiva Nata. If I screw up, I can shrug it off and move on to the next step. Maybe even laugh, like I do with ShNa. I could see new connections and find way sto make it easier. I could be okay with going very slowly and gently and remind myself not to take on too much. If I get everything done that I have planned, I could *take care of myself* instead of adding new things to do.
My commitment:
To keep Time binder on my newly clear desk. To be okay with this taking time. To nurse myself through teeny proto-cold that seems to be emerging. To eat healthy and do supportive-y stuff as I do this.
Mwah! Have a great week!
I love the idea of Fridays off, not doing the things you normally do when not working. What an amazing idea. I need to give that some thought!
When I had an office job, I used to love being able to not work when everyone else was working, and I also loved going to the office when no one else was there. The whole thing of doing what no one else was doing just what I needed some days.
This is going to be a full week! I wanted to do an at-home Rally. I can’t go to Portal-Land but the energy of doing creative work when others are also working on their things is one of the great things about Rally and I thought I could be with the Rallions in spirit anyway.
It looks like I will have to Rally around a bunch of other commitments and activities.
The first thing I want is the energy to do just that. I want to be able to keep those appointments and commitments and still be able to do Rally projects.
For that to happen, I need to get a decent amount of sleep, and to eat properly. I also need to remember that lethargy begets lethargy, and the best way to get moving is to get moving.
One of my commitments this week is to meet with a friend to talk Spanish. We have been meeting for six weeks or so. She invited another friend to join us, which was fine, but that person took over the conversation, lectured us about the language (mind you, I teach Spanish at the community college) and dominated everything. I have made up my mind to request that either she not come to every meeting B and I have, or that we focus the conversation on ordinary everyday matters. Otherwise, that will be the last time for me. Which is sad because I have been enjoying the time with B.
The second thing I want is for this “conversation meeting” to go well. That might happen by the other person not showing up. Or she might be less domineering and let us talk about what interests us. Or B might agree with me about this person and either un-invite her, or B and I can plan to meet at a different time.
My newest class at the college starts on Wednesday, the same day that my ongoing class meets. That means Wednesday will be busy. I ask that both the classes go wel.
I can prep for both of them; lesson plans and class prep is one of my Rally projects. So the time between the ongoing class and the new evening class would be a good time to Rally on that.
Then there are a bunch of other things that have to be done, and some that will probably come up so I have to leave room for them… and finally there is prep for a trip this weekend.
What I want is to do it all with ease: Energy, Action, Serenity, and Effectiveness. That will mean focus, thoughtfulness, clear motivation and goals, force fields and boundaries, in fact all the tools.
Sending good wishes to all for your visions.
I like taking off when everyone’s working, I have more space to just be & breathe that way. Also, if i am in writing mode, it often “arrives” at 5 or 6 pm. Which is tricky but that’s ok, I don’t live in a city with so many other tempting options at 6 pm!
I truly believe that creative stuff arriving not bt 9 & 5 is about the whole country’s energy being focused, productive, largely overworked during those hours. Sorta too much stuff for my elevator shaft some days. Some days not.
This week I want to play with finishing writing the additional elements needed for the Thang
Asking for Mrs N help with editing in scrivener
Rewriting Thang’s amazon blurb (ok if I do this later instead)
Time container, help with house issues: projects involving a pile or mess are all on Monday afternoons. Slow adjustment to routine
Lock on inner door of studio please!
Clearing all but the writing for the next five weeks. No overworking. This feels good and clear not struggle-esque, thanks helpers.
Sending vision beams of love & puttering to all 🙂 xo
Ooooooh, very warm wishes for turning closet into reading nook. Those words on the screen gave me a quite a little thrill! In fact, I predict I will not be able to stop thinking about this…
Last Time
I asked for peace, quiet, no bad news, time in a library. This didn’t happen so much. And that’s just how it is at the moment
Thing 1: to be where I am
I don’t know what is needed. I haven’t been in this situation before. I ask for acceptance, for time, for support, and for spaciousness. This is one of the hardest things that have ever happened to me. And I ask for whatever can make it easier.
How it could happen ? I don’t know. Containers of acceptance. Floop time. Making my new room magic. Plum Duff magic wall quality circles. Walks in the park or bike trips in the woods. Swimming and time in the gym. I am open open open to find secret passages into this space.
Thing 2: Magic
I’d love to see the positive in the hard. I’d love to come across magic and amazing things. I crave little mini miracles, like coffee in the morning or a movie that makes sense. i want to rewrite the story. (http://lifehacker.com/5891564/recalibrate-your-reality)
How it could happen? I’ll open my heart and seek it out. I’ll go where the ease and the magic is. I’ll avoid people if I feel I need it. I’ll send out protection spells and invite the fairy dust. I’ll dance a dance of joy.
Thing 3 – Rally
I ask my heart to find a way to come on over to Portal-land.
Warm wishes, especially for the love seat (a shiny throne?), a closet reading nook (I’ve seen it done nicely) and a House day. I was recently scarred by staying in some friends’ *perfect* houses; I assume they have an extra day in the week to achieve that.
In a related note, I ask for:
the melting away of the overwhelm and disgust of being in my own house.
Ways this could work:
–Freaking out about more significant concerns and about how immature are my feelings about cobwebs and my laziness to remove them.–(Oh, wait, totally not sovereign or nonviolent.)
Meeting myself where I am. Maybe that looks like one positive thought for every negative one, although that sounds unexcitingly uphill. Anybody have an idea for a fluentself tool I could be using?
Finding clews in my book about habits. Right now, the cue of dirt starts the paralyzing cycle of shame. Maybe I could replace the routine with doing “one thing” and always having a cleaning product in my pocket. And gold star rewards.
Reading my Rally! notes. (It is my moon of learning, partly because of external pressures. But I also want to learn from the epiphanies of recent out-of-routine transitions.)
I’m playing with…
imagining myself at the Playground from 9 to 5 this week. (I felt I did lots of cleaning up after myself there. And it was fun!)
What do I know about becoming a janitor?
Wow, I’m excited for my at-home Rally! already and the shifting of journaling tone. And requisite exclamation points!
Update on recent asks: didn’t come across anything right for me sarong-wise, but that was okay, because it’s not as hot and I found dresses in a consignment store near one of those fabric stores that answer a separate gwish I didn’t even know I had at the start of the trip.
And the trip overall was good. And my shoulder seems to be better. I had an anxiety dream last night, though. So one of my things this time is for thicker sponge-space, to absorb/deflect schtuffs that are out of line (so to speak).
WTCW: hiatus from forums/threads/being current. reassuring stuffs that they will get my full attention later rather than half-assed aggravation now. time with the monster manual.
I’ll play with: conditions of enoughness. and maybe roleplaying.
Another Thing: a friendlier relationship with sunscreen. I so dislike it. But SFM very much needs me to get in the habit of using it.
WTCW: making it an OOD?
finding a brand/recipe I like better?
negotiating with underlying issues of time/expense that make me resent it?
creating an emergency kit for when it gets in my eyes?
think of it as theatre or red-carpet makeup (fun!) rather than a chore?
I’ll play with: thinking of it as makeup. That’s what I can handle this week.
Sending you all best wishes for your visions and asks.
What I want: to ask for a fair amount of money for the fair amount of work ihave done for website client. Happy work.
Ways this could happen: she could make me an offer. She could pay the same price he did last time. She is a fair and generous person who sent us wedding chocolate!!! That was so good. I want her to get a fair deal and also know it is a good deal.
What I want: tO sell my new painting.
Ways this could happen: I could post it on my blog. I could post it on my Facebook. Someone could ask for it. They could make a fair and reasonable offer of no less then 100 for it.
What I want: to mail presents to friends.
Ways this could happen; by me. As celebration for two Skype calls
What I want: two motorcycle helmets and a motorcycle outfit
Ways this could happen: magic prayer of arrival , a present, a discovery in the basement
What I want: more dub step
Ways this could happen ; visit thissongissick.com and friends could post songs on facebook and someone could mail me a mix cd
What I want: comments on my blogs especially aski for me to write about stuff
Ways this could happen: maybe I will put it on the end of y posts. Maybe I will write more anecdotes.
Can I just say that kookypants is my new favorite word and I’m definitely going to use it as often as possible, maybe even in this VPA.
So The Vahnts Dahling, I vahnt to be
!. Not alone. More courage ( I like this word when said in French much better) to reach out when I am feeling vulnerable and scared – to get support – to learn to trust more.
How? I’m pretty sure the only way this happens is to assess who might be the most trust-able and go for it.
Commitment: Breathing into that heart place o’mine.
2. To bring more kookypants (there, I did it!) into my life.Right now, there’s some serious preparing for the workshop and much talking to critters who are in Olympic mode (gold medal levels of scare), dancing of all kinds, and commitment the Al Roker game (proxy).
How? write the word kookypants wherever I can, so I can see it. It’s pretty inspiring, no? Dance the kookypants dance with a critter – who know, it just might help. I’m having fun already.
Commitment: stay open to the kooky even during the scary.
3. I want my workshop to fill up. Yeah baby.
How? All of it, emails, brochures, talking, breathing, flyers, the whole nine yards. And then let go….
Commitment: talking to dem critters, and giving them gold medals for other stuff – not the scaring. Leaving time for Kooky while doing this.
Judy just posted Delicious Persimmon.
http://wp.me/p277Bi-5u