Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Thing 1: End of an era.
Here’s what I want:
So, hilariously, as soon as I made my renewed commitment to be true to my capital-V vision (remember?), all kinds of changes, big and small, began happening in the business.
As a result of doing a lot of meditating on what’s next, I’ve realized it’s time to discontinue the non-sucky yoga kit and the shiva nata starter kit.
We also won’t be stocking any dvds in the Toy Shop at Stompopolis.
But they’re still really great kits. They should get to be loved. So I want the last two dozen starter kits and the remaining yoga kits to find their way to their people, and to lovingly close this piece.
Ways this might work:
I can tell you guys. Here, in fact.
If you’re been thinking about a starter kit or a yoga kit, you could get one. While we still have them.
The Starter Kit is here: http://shivanata.com/learn-dance-of-shiva
(You can also choose to get just the dvd if you want.)
And the non-sucky yoga kit is here. We had three left and then the First Mate found a few more in the Toy Shop. So I think there are still three total. By the time I got around to publishing this, these were gone.
Okay. Now you know.
I could also write to the Havi’s Announcing a Thing list? And to the Floop. But I have a busy few weeks and I would really just like to close out this part of the business.
I’m playing with…
Letting things change. Trusting. Agreeing to the new.
Oh man. I wish there was an expression that meant the same thing as “surrendering to flow” that didn’t make me all twitchy. I can feel the feeling and it is beautiful and true. And I just don’t like the words.
Maybe that’s another ask. I need secret agent code for this!
Thing 2: Thinking differently about time.
Here’s what I want:
Actually I’m thinking about this in a number of contexts. How everyone I know is pretty much always more depleted than they realize. And yet we still overestimate our capacity.
And. I’d like to set aside three weeks prep time for next big event.
Past me was crazy smart and left me two whole weeks instead of one, which was brilliant, and then one got eaten by an emergency.
Obviously stuff always comes up. But still. Three weeks. One week for closing things down. One week for chrysalis and hiding.
And one week for holy shit things came up and I couldn’t close down.
There are other applications for this. It’s also related to my big realization about next year.
Ways this might work:
I’m planting it during the Crossing. Because everything that I planted at last year’s Crossing came true.
I’m playing with…
Knowing what I want.
Thing 3: Perfect simple solutions.
Here’s what I want:
Ease. Resolution. Containment. Trust. Presence. Simplicity.
Ways this might work:
The person who thinks they need something from me in compensation realizes that they have everything they need, and that I have endless love for them.
I’m playing with…
Believing that it can change that easily.
Or maybe I can’t believe that, but somehow my calm, steady, loving presence with this is changing how I experience this, and everything else.
Thing 4: The Crossing.
Here’s what I want:
Last year I ran an eight day retreat-thing called Crossing the Line.
And it was the most incredible thing that has happened in my life. It changed everything. (Laughs!) Dear god. It changed everything.
All the wishes came true, some in very unexpected ways.
Tonight we begin again. The second Crossing. I’m not doing this again for three more years. So this is the time.
Anyway, I know that a bunch of crazy wonderful things are about to start changing. And I am asking for ease, steadiness, sweetness, flow, simplicity, presence, pleasure and space.
And what B named “painless wish-fulfillment”. Yes please. May it be so.
From her lips to god’s ear. Amen and amen.
Ways this might work:
Trust. Faith. Surprises. Miracles.
It just could.
I’m playing with…
The superpower of Actually, Seemingly Impossible Things Do Not Have To Be Impossible At All, which will remind me to investigate whatever internal rules say otherwise.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted to add alligators, and I have been doing that.
Then I wanted to write about the eight rules that are not rules, and I realized that they are the rules of a game, and that two of them are secret. Yay.
Next I wanted next steps for a perfect simple solution, and I wrote a simple but difficult letter that is full of truth. And now I am not thinking about that situation until the Crossing is over.
My ask about the shavasana year planted *very* good things, and now I know what I want to do! Feeling good.
Playful playing. Shelter for the comments.
What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
Here or on your own or in your head. It’s all fine. Or call silent retreat!
I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.
If you’re looking for suggestions or heart-sighs or anything else related to your wish, you will need to ask for that because our default mode is giving each other space and spaciousness for the process.
This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We make space for people’s wishes.
That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!
As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.
xox
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Sending all my love to Crossing the Second!
I can feel the magic from here.
Sending my love to Crossing the Second too !!! Like Andrea, feeling the vibes and simmering in it at a distance.
*mini gwishes into the pot*
– ease, and more eas.
– for this piece of data work to move… in a way that is congruent and ease-filled and not-hard.
– more spaces around the spaces, to keep the agenda gloriously empty for all the time until next July.
– a timeline wishing thingee. planting the seeds, too.
– working with energies
– hoping for plum duff supplies to arrive! after minor extra adventure they went on
– wanting to send out wishing seeds for the other books & resources to arrive.
– wanting to plant seeds for growth and recovery throughout the week and the upcoming year.
Gwishes:
* More wagons and volunteers and staff for the children’s hospital. There are so many things to clean.
* The right-sized pumpkin for the pumpkin-cooked-in-sherry recipe I would like to try.
* A fun dress at the right-for-me price and the right-for-me size for this weekend’s carnival.
* Realistic signs that this election will keep/bring good people in office.
* Good weather for this weekend’s gatherings
Update on last time: Project S not yet eaten by alligators. Some progress, but still Jabba-the-Iguana.
This week’s spin at the Thing: hmmmmmmmmmm…. how to spin it …?
WTWC:
* spend time with it, but away from the easel?
* reconsider my relationship to the lamp?
I’ll play with:
* the ideas I had for it last week, because I haven’t really given them any play yet.
Wishing you all support and warmth and friendly things shining from/among the shadows.
Lots of love to everyone’s wishes/visions/VPAs, and for Crossing The Line. Painless wish-fulfillment for all!
Progress:
-I have been tackling so many iguanas. And just a minute ago, I got confirmation that The Thing, my biggest iguana, that I thought was a Big Huge Horrible Scary Thing, was actually just a small errand and a small fee. I mean, people had told me that, but I got Official Confirmation.
-My gwishes for October, such as a fall picnic, paying attention to the glow, costumery, and sweetness, have been coming true.
Some Wishes:
-Healing from my cold/sore throat thing (and everything else, of course): Taking lots of Airborne, drinking tea and broth, taking my OTC meds. Doing yoga, and doing deep healing during shavasana.
-Massage and/or chiropractic for my neck and back
-Best possible use of my free time: Just trusting my instincts, and trusting that I am the captain of my own ship.
-Radiating Beauty
-Just-right amounts of things. Satisfaction: Noticing how much I want, and when I am done.
-More Entry: Practicing it.
Some Impossible Wishes:
-Effective pain management for my throat while my cold is healing
-Get a car the week of my birthday. (Or before!)
-CMSP activation much quicker than I expect
-And then the willingnes and flow to let me get the things I need done, done
-ENT people to call me back and reschedule
-My own little cottage
-Feeling like the captain of my ship
-Enough time AND enough money
I am having a day of HARD. So today’s VPA is all about that.
I want ease and resolution and movement in this stuck thing. How does it work? Things happen, people respond in positive ways, I stop freaking out because I know in a true knowing that it’ll be okay. And I’m playing with allowing the feelings, acknowledging both the stuck and the feelings, and doing the things that will create movement. Also, blowing bubbles.
Ease. Resolution. Movement.
Superpowers of It’ll Work Out Even If I Don’t See How.
Love to everyone and happy growth.
Three Stones for the Crossers, and for every Visioneer:
Joy
-o-
Timelessness
-o-
Sovereignty
-o-
Met with my thesis advisor today, so thesis VPAs!
VPA #1
I want, to put it plainly, to graduate. And since my writing values to do not always jive with the MFA’s writing values, I am a little worried. Also there is paperwork and scheduling and blah blah blah. But I trust that will happen as it needs to. I want to write completely authentically, with all my love and creativity, rather than to simply satisfy the professors. And I want the professors to 1) Nod enthusiastically. 2) Tell me how I can make my stories even better. 3) Nod enthusiastically some more. 4) Let me graduate.
Ways this could work:
Do my manifesto/declaration of intention every time I write. Affirmations. Remember that my professors are smart talented people. Mutual respect and sovereignty. Remember: Everything is working out for my highest good.
VPA #2
While writing my thesis, I don’t want my novel to be neglected. Yesterday I woke up and my novel was there, saying, “Good morning, honey.” I would like my novel to be with me a lot. But I also want my other stories to be with me. I would like to be able to give energy and imagination to both projects, without either suffering for it. I want to throw a party for my various projects, and they all come and hang out and dance and have fun and everyone is included and gets to put a song on the playlist, and everyone leaves the party happier for it.
Ways this could work:
Continue with the party metaphor. Devote one day a week to the novel. If this doesn’t seem to work after a couple weeks, try other methods. Trust that even when I am not directly working on my novel, I am secretly working on it, like throwing flirtacious glances at someone across the room while having a conversation with a different person at the party.
Good wishes for all those Crossing!
I have some visions this week, which is a very good thing.
1) Breaking the routine. I had fallen into a slovenly routine upon arriving home that was not feeling good and healthy. Yesterday I played with breaking that routine by running in the woods, doing my Spanish lessons and turning the computer off at 7 to do more Spanish. This felt good, even though there was still a bit of “eat ALL the food!” feelings. I would like to continue playing with breaking the routine and encourage my hands to realize they can put the food down.
2) I am doubling the prices on my estate plans as of November 1. This means I need to rewrite some web site stuff, and some papers for the office. I have time blocked this morning to work on that, and I’d like my monsters and lizards to know they can come along and I’ll give them some markers to draw with while I rewrite. I think they will be pleasantly surprised to realize how much work actually goes into what we do and they will find themselves saying “Silly girl, why didn’t you do this before?” And my new clients will be quite pleased as well.
Lots of yay and love to the Crossing — and to painless wish fulfillment!!
Last week, I wanted more ease and self-care and rest. I got some of that. I got a bit more rest, and did more work in the Soft as well as connecting with my Writergirls, which always helps me feel grounded and energized. I will get to see them this weekend too… yay! But so far this week, sleep has been a bust. Son’s nightmares, dog’s weirdness… lots of interrupted sleep, little rest. 🙁 So, asking for more rest, again!
VPA #2: More love, please.
I’m discovering that the main disconnect between the Hard and the Soft has been love. Love of my readers, my clients, my work, my teaching, my family, my finances… the whole nine yards. Would now like to infuse more love into everything. Especially into self-care.
How this could work: No. Idea. Get the sense that Hard and Soft need to mirror more. More work in the Soft, then? And mindful “how does love fit in this?” stone skipping?
My commitment: To noticing. Some stone skipping. Asking my team. (Lannister is going to hate that one.)
Thanks, guys.
I am so grateful for these VPAs, these really seem to be working for me at warp speed!
update from last week’s: I sent all but the last bit of the thing to the person and everyone seems pleased, also my friend who is reading is all super fired up in her own writing and kind of fight-the-power from reading so that is an awesome sign,
I am feeling shaky–I was up way too late.
(Silent retreat) is getting really weird, I’m getting huge amounts of what I want along with something I never thought I would have to deal with and I think it is worth dealing with it, but it is such a stretch, another growth opportunity, lucky me. (I think this sentence could describe much of life, right?)
This week’s VPAS:
1. Not to totally freak out, ie, to remain grounded and okay and stay in self care as much as possible because of entry of (silent retreat)
2. To enjoy (silent retreat) and to be totally supported by universe in increasing trust, not freaking out
3. Taking a break to refuel to finish part 5 next week
4. Curtis: allowing room for a visitation and being able to easily record and voice whatever I need
5. Housekeeping: to get the things returned to the place and the calls made and all that stuff that is hanging over my head cleared. A girl can hope.
xo
Last week I asked for sleep and rest in appropriate amounts, and at the right times. That kind of happened. I wanted social EASE, and all of the social activities last week happened with ease and joy. I wanted connectedness and I experienced that. There were situations where I needed to use what I know and I remembered to do that.
I also wanted to work on my One Thing and the Next Step and that happened in a surprising way. I wanted to prepare for project time this week, and the prep did not happen. Project time is not happening either.
I am asking again for the same things. Since Project Time is not happening so far this week, I ask for it to begin to happen – maybe tomorrow, maybe over the weekend.
Ways these could happen:
The miraculous “it just could” could do its magic!
I can write them in my vade mecum and remind myself about them.
I can talk to these wants and find out what they want.
Allies and resources could appear.
I could get bright ideas.
I’ll play with:
Coloring and painting (ooh, projects!)
Daydreaming and doodling.
Looking for clews.
A last thing, an Impossible Wish – I wish I were at Crossing the Line! Or for a recording of Havi’s teachings, or a virtual Crossing. Or something so I/we could share some of the magic.
What I’ll do about that: I’ll eat a grilled cheese sandwich and browse the archives obsessively, because that is the closest thing I know of.
@Vicki! yes i am there with you. Currently reading ALL of the shiva nata blog archives :).
Distant crossing the line reading!
@Sue T — Visioneer. I love it.
@Vicki and Hannah: Me three. 🙂
This week, my Vision came true before I even had a chance to post it here: a lovely day in the city yesterday, in which I passed my exam easily and thus met requirements for recertification as a music therapist. Ease and jubilation!
Much love to everyone Crossing the Line! Bon Voyage!
I feel like I’m embarking on new journeys as well, and the theme of them all, the theme of October is Surrender.
Last week I askd to change the narrative, and I also asked for a bunch of support and movement on 2 big things, and it very much happened. In this crisis, I was talking to a number of Selves and what I learned was Future Me, the Leni who is Reealy Competent, is so effective because she’s the self that knows how to use all the tools. The rest of Me forgets for whatever reason, but FutureLeni’s SuperPower is Always having the ToolKit On Hand.
I totally credit Bhramari and flailing for the ease of the above. Also invoking SuperPowers. And Adding Alligators!
So more of that please, becuase such relief!
Into the pot:
-more sleep and well tending, since it works so well
-more knowledge of SuperPowers
-movement on my blog project. must be this weekend