Where I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Hey. So. Those of you who can read between the lines have probably figured out that this has been a rough year for me, with the past few months getting progressively more rough.
I can’t talk about it here, partly because I’m not at liberty to discuss most of it and partly for other reasons. So I apologize for being cryptic, and yes, things have been pretty hellish for me, and I am waiting for a lot of different situations to resolve themselves.
In the meantime, I am using — and living by — the stuff that we practice and play with here. And that’s what is helping me with this challenging experience. So thank you for playing with me and being here while I go through this.
What worked?
Canceling appointments.
I canceled everything this week and was a hermit!
This was good. I didn’t even know how much I would need this, just acting on a hunch. Past-me is a genius. Again.
Ritual.
Using the things that I taught at my Crossing the Line retreat. Over and over again.
Going to the cafe. Getting my pot of harmony. Sitting in the same chair.
This was steadying and grounding.
Bouncing it up.
I kept dancing. When in doubt, dance dance dance and then dance some more.
This is not the right thing for everyone, but it is very much the right thing for me.
Next time I might…
Change the setting. Have even more snacks stockpiled.
It is so very hard for me to be in any situation where I know that everything outside is closed. I go into deep scarcity stuff and I think that it is THEN, even as I remind myself that now is not then.
So even though past me (and loving friends) did a great job of stocking the house with good things for Hermitsgiving, I need More Of That.
And what I’m getting is that I really need to be somewhere else where I can’t think about the fact that I can’t go to the grocery store or walk to a cafe or something, because that turned out to be a much bigger trigger than I’d realized.
Like maybe spend the week at a beach house. Or on Rally.
Wear more costumes!
I am convinced that Hermitsgiving could have been improved with the addition of costumes.
Ask for help sooner.
My friends are amazing. I don’t like asking and sometimes I forget that I can. But I can.
The hard.
- Drama.
- Pointless unnecessary painful drama.
- Other people’s drama.
- Other people’s drama being loud and in my space.
- Other people needing their drama to be my drama.
- People not having the tools (or having but forgetting the tools) to turn inward and process their drama on their own.
- Not-fun phone call.
- Nightmares and waking up in the middle of the night.
- Trouble getting back to sleep.
- Doom. Doom. More doom. The doomitty doom of doom! Lots of monsters, and also some people in my life who sound a lot like my monsters.
- Sadness.
- Grief.
- Working through this ongoing personal crisis while all these other things were happening.
- I had hoped that this week would bring some ease after a massive challenge got resolved last week, and I’d apparently been really looking forward to that because all of this hard that came with this week was surprising to me.
- Too much computering.
- Rearranging the house and now my bedroom feels smaller, and I can’t decide if it is cozy and charming or if it is going to drive me crazy..
- A phone message that was full of hints of dread and doom.
- Thanksgiving. I really, really dislike Thanksgiving, for a variety of reasons that I won’t get into, but let’s just say: PTSD and panicking. Not good.
The good.
- Lots of sleep. Ten and a half hours on Friday night and again on Monday night. Naps all over the place.
- Writing and processing. So much writing!
- Saturday afternoon. Faraway playdate in a cafe. My faraway friend asleep next to me on the couch while I write. A pot of tea called Harmony. Rain outside. Soft music. Beautiful.
- Going on a fabulous storytelling adventure with the delightful @vicarpac.
- Back to my superpowers.
- Back to my strength for the first time since the Crossing. Finally. Yay. Killing it at dance class. Double yay.
- Compassion.
- Courage.
- Using the tools.
- My brother.
- Richard and Marisa.
- Cafe days. And a very productive Fake Beach Day.
- Turning the rain different colors, and also getting an unexpected clew.
- Turning Thanksgiving into Hermitsgiving. Even though it didn’t really work, it gave me a form.
- Descending to the rug for slow sweet yoga.
- Rearranging the house. Things are new and different, and now I have a writing nook!
- Sweet reassuring notes and letters and DMs from people who care and believe in me.
- Paperless, again! This app is solving all the problems. And also turning into a portable Book of Me that tells me what to do when I am in any situation.
- My playmate getting on skype at four in the morning to comfort me.
- It’s over. Friday. We’re done. Goodbye, week. It was hard and it was over.
And! No matter how hard my week is, I know that I can come here on Friday and all of you will be here with me, whether silently or in the comments. I feel hugely appreciative when I think about this blog and the people who read and keep me company. Thank you.
Superpowers!
A superpower I had this week…
Recognizing when I was grinding wheels and immediately stopping.
And a superpower I want next week.
The ability to maintain a deep, powerful, steady, loving focus on what I need. Commitment. Provision. Presence.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
Background. Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once invented hanging out at the Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band comes from Nick and it is one of my all-time favorites:
The Soft C
Though, of course, it’s really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
I am this close to announcing the thing that is my doing-and-teaching focus for 2013.
So if you don’t have a Gwish Kit, grab one. Because that way you’ll hear about the new stuff before everyone else and you’ll already have the prerequisite class on TIME before I write the sales page and everything goes up to full price.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Follow
This week! So full!
No energy to chicken but I have my baby! Her name is Scarlet Ellora and she is amazing.
Love to everyone!!
This week
What was good:
Took days off from one of the jobs to rest up and focus on some writing projects.
Had a super low-key day at the house yesterday, which is exactly how I like it.
The stubborn dog has finally decided that she can go all the way in her crate! It only took two months, but progress!
Got lots of painting done… but not the writing I’d planned.
What was hard:
For some reason waking up in the middle of the night again. At least for this week didn’t need to worry too much about getting up to go to the office!
Not getting everything done that I thought I would. But — that gave me an opportunity to practice letting it all go.
Rhiannon – hooray and all the sparkles for you and David and Scarlet Ellora!
What worked? Refusing to rise to the bait — that is, allowing other people’s stuff to be their stuff, and not to become mine. I did not do this perfectly, but the extent to which I could do it made everything better, and made me feel so much safer to boot.
Next time I might… Keep reminding myself to play. I really want this to become my default approach to life.
A thing that is both hard and good: The Wizard has been offered, and has accepted, an eleven month contract out of state. This is hard, because he’ll be a full day’s drive away from the rest of us, and though we’ll find all sorts of ways to stay connected and to make the most of the time we do have together, the thought of him being so far away for so long is making our hearts ache. And yet, it is also good, because we need the money, and because the fact that it is a relatively short-term contract means that now we have some breathing space in which to be more choosy in considering where he will work (and where we will live) in the not-too-distant future.
Superpowers! This week, my voice is a river. Next week, I want the ability to absorb energy from the earth and air, and to transform it into beauty and joy. Come to think of it, that sounds so good that I don’t want to wait until next week. I’m claiming that superpower right…now!
Havi,
as I read about Hermitsgiving I had this strange and also compelling desire to have been there for your Hermitsgiving and cooked Jewish food like chicken soup with kneydls… of course, I have no idea if you even EAT chicken or would have wanted chicken soup, but the feeling was so strong that I wanted to share it.
What worked? Checking in with Future Me
Next time, I might: set boundaries sooner
Hard stuff:
* Exhaustion
* Exasperation
* Rereading work from 3-5 years ago and missing the moxie of that Me
* Having to spend hours debugging and redoing work
* Icky letter from magazine I’d canceled
* Noisy monsters about people not staying in touch
* …and they’re in cahoots with the monsters who like to berate me about being monstrously self-absorbed…
Good things:
* Sweet man, darling doggie, devoted friends, generous relatives…
* Still getting kudos for stories I posted years ago
* (… and how cool is it that a short-short about Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens can net over 400 readers?)
* I am a fact-checking ninja
* …and I’m pretty good at problem-solving, too
* Good shift at the hospital
* Creating conditions for retrieving moxie and mojo
A superpower I had this week: not (over)reacting right away (or at all)
A superpower I want next week: navigation. Both in terms of direction and staying on course.
Shabbat shalom, y’all!
Yay, Rhiannon! Welcome, Scarlet!
What worked this week:
– Moving meditation. Making time for thinking things through.
– Going with the flow. Letting things be what they are.
Next time I might:
– Have more healthy stuff around so I don’t get so tempted by junk food.
This week’s hard:
– Unwanted advice/lecturing. Unable to extract myself from the situation.
– Too much sugar.
– People wanting to talk to me while I’m walking and not listening when I tell them I need my space. Uncertainty about how to deal with that without being rude. It’s a small town.
This week’s good:
– Being able to let the advice/lecturing slide off my force field.
– Good food, good family.
– Not needing to be anywhere near a store today.
Superpowers:
This week, I had the superpower of being able to gracefully flow from one thing to the next. Next week, I would like to have the superpower of finding the calm spaces tucked between the busy minutes.
(I like this new format.)
Happy Friday, Chickeneers!
The app! The app! What is the app? (I sometimes love paperlessness .)
Sarah, It’s called paperless, if you search itunes app store it’ll come right up…
Hello, friends.
What was hard:
Work. So much work.
So much late-night work, pushing through tiredness and still not getting everything done.
Unrealistic expectations from outside.
Getting too tired to be good at self-care.
My mom having difficulties and (possibly) an impending breakup with a tradition/institution that’s been very important to our family.
What was good:
Littlest sister at home this week, looking and sounding like she’s doing really well!
Happy family time, with many moments of the weird and outrageous humor that happens when everybody is in one place.
Good productive costuming time, and the chance to revisit and re-work some old favorites.
The ability to put off or rearrange some not-priority stuff that tried to intrude on this week’s overwhelm. Hope I can hold on to this one, it’s only going to get worse from here on out for this working musician.
@Rhiannon: congratulations! Sending love!
@havi, thank you for sharing your process with us in this difficult year for you.
The HARD:
I had a horrible PTSD week, the worst in over a year. Frickin hell, PTSD, (I could go on cursing and cursing). It’s like being trapped in a tv with nothing but static on until it lifts. And I have super amazing tools to make it lift but: nope. Usually when I get triggered it lifts in 2 days. Not this week. And yes it’s totally because one of god’s creatures (yay I did not use a curse word instead of that) (maybe . . . he’s a creature resembling Michael Scott from The Office) threw a whole bunch of shockingly crazy shoes at me. And because standing up for myself just got me thrown out of my own personal playground, my own little writing studio that I love and that is the total safe space I would GO to do the things that get the PTSD to lift in the first place. Gah!
Honestly, I was able to stand up for myself vs God’s Creature using NVC until the second round, when it was suggested that God’s Creature’s major oversight would have been prevented if I’d just bought the correct kind of MOP. I guess the good is that this is funny: I have Leo Mars/Mercury (totally NOT nonviolent communication! Mars: war, Mercury: communication) and you tell a Leo–erroneously!–she just needs to MOP instead of actually dealing with your end of things, well that is not going to end well.
The GOOD:
I skipped family holiday and my mom came to me. She made an amazing gluten free dairy free soy free paleo meal, delicious, stress free, we had fun.
We did Shiva Nata in the sad writing space I’m about to lose and used the words Magic Simple Easy Solution for Level 1 arms (thanks Havi!), but my mom, please do not judge, and I hope I do not offend anyone here, believes “magic” is a very bad word and said “Jesus” instead, and it was like the only position-word she remembered so she always beat me to it with her “Jesus” over my “Magic”, and it was just about the funniest 15 minutes of my year to date.
PTSD sort of feels better by 9pm most days
I saw the movie Searching for Sugarman and it is so amazing, so inspiring: you do the art, you do the work, that’s it, the hype can go gods-creature itself. If you’re true to the voice, the whole thing could be starting an astonishing, successful revolution in a fascist dictatorship thousands of miles away and you won’t know it for 20 years and that’s fine. You did your job. You keep doing it. Love this movie.
Also, I got a really incredible bit of feedback this week that means so much to me and reminds me what I am really doing.
Love to all chickens xo
The early part of the week was about MrB being in rehab and the later part was about the holiday.
The insurance approved for MrB to stay another week, and the nursing home moved him to another floor. I spent a couple of hours arranging for MrB to be allowed to go for outings. Then they decided that he could be discharged on Saturday.
What worked:
Saying things like “life is going on outside rehab, and he needs to be part of it” and “for his mental health” and “keeping his spirits up.” Using all the cliches!
Asking lots of questions. Taking names, so I could say I wanted clarity about what this person or that one told me.
What I might try next time:
(Sadly, there is likely to be a next time.) As soon as rehab is mentioned, I can ask about being able to take MrB for outings every day, around his therapy and treatment.
Also ask about bringing things from home for his comfort. Like his favorite (small) recliner. On the nursing home floor, the rooms are too small for anything, but on the rehab floor, there would be room.
The holiday
What worked:
Letting my sister C take charge of the arrangements. She was prepared to take the family and the meal to wherever MrB was: hospital, nursing home, or our house. Happily, we were able to be at the house. But if we’d needed to, we could have had ten people sitting around MrB’s room, eating off their laps.
The young people had electronic devices with them, and the adults were self-entertaining.
What I might do next time:
I pulled a muscle in my back and it slowed me down while at the same time making it not possible to putter leisurely about the preparations. Next Thanksgiving, I could start sooner getting the house and the food ready so that I can get it done without pushing myself.
This week’s Hard:
MrB feeling better, expecting to get out, and then not being discharged. Me wanting him home and him not being there.
Not understanding how the insurance made its decision about his therapy needs.
The gravy was waaay too salty. That was hard because I love gravy on the dressing, potatoes, and turkey.
Pain.
Eating the wrong stuff. By which I do not mean at Thanksgiving, but earlier in the week.
This week’s Good:
My family.
Love and laughter.
MrB is alive and has his twinkle back.
The Boomerang Boy is safe and alive.
My mom is frail but lively and funny and sweet. Any of the three — M, R, or Mom, could have died this year and they didn’t.
Caring friends. Church community. Helpful people.
FaceBook for sharing updates about MrB’s condition.
Our electronic devices. Earbuds.
Vica Pota.
Favorite foods.
Fluent Self and the Floop!
Love to everyone.
@Rihannon, congratulations!
What worked?
Baking only 1 pie. And realizing people would still love me if I only brought 1 pie. And homemade whipped cream. And realizing that less is ok. And good even.
The Good:
A good holiday with lots of love and family. Just the right amount.
My friends.
A lovely day of housekeeping and house-staying today.
A lovely day of running and running around planned for tomorrow.
Sleep. So much good sleep.
Discovering the “Unfuck Your Habitat” tumblr and unfucking all sort of thing in my house, like polishing the silver tray and the strange faucet.
My hula hoops.
Remembering that in each moment I can start over.
The Hard:
Coming to terms with the fact that I am fatter and slower than my friends. But learning to be ok with that.
I realy have a hrd time with Tgiving too, and i dont know why. even anecdotal evidence of past years Wagnerian chaos do not explin it. Even good years are kinda raw and sad belw the surface.
the suck:
-massive mercury retro debacle that I saw coming amile away and reminded and reminded and remindd myself to MAKE THE CALL that will forestall Doom and i did not makew th call and i dont even know why
-and then th Doom happened. and it had all elements pf suck: disappointed kid, annoyed ex, sudden emergency procedues, with lots of money on the line for the win
-hsuband wentback to work, in pain, with the flu.
-thr way the kids will just piss in my ears
-several tiny fals that sucked
-waking up on tgiving morning wih bad migraine and PTSD bad-brain.
-doing all the cooking and cleanup
-lmowing i did my best and i did as much as i could do, and feeling bad that i couldnt do better. my carrots were greasy.
-6 year old constantly wantin to be entertained, or to roam the neighborhood looking for fun
-not lovin the ways th husband and i communicate
-the stuck, o my stuck, how stuck we are. having used our tools to rearrange the furniture, we begin to notice the foundation
-all the epiphanies are hard, like really sad hard, not sparkly at all. pouting.
the good:
-giving up desire for a lot of stuff this eyar, i just dtn want to participate in the consumerist folly this year nymore than compelled to
-feeling Enchantment and Refilling.
-made good food very consciously
-mking more time to move, and for my practices
-gettig clues and not being surpirised when they come. it ust feels welcoming and hello
-this irrational feeling i get soemtimes that i truly am just about to turn a coner on something big and just hae to brethe into it and do the very small things that i can.
-starting to slowly reconnect with dearest friend. seeing them want to reconnect and lean in first, a treasure.
what worked:
-Exiting the day, especially an earlier bedtme
-cooking. also lighting candles and bringing in statue of laCaridad whiel coking
-productive week at work depite the shot week. FInish 3 Things has been a very helpful tool
-Movement, humming and remembering my tools
next time ill try:
-Dance! it really seems to be the right anser in so many ways. there os a way my brian starts working in dance that i feel lke i have punsihed myself by nt allowing myself to dance. tere’s a lot of stuff here but dancing is importnat and i have some good resources thati called for so use them!
so many things to be grateful for:
-i made a nice damn dinner on thursday. we planned a small simple menu and it all tuened out well.
-after some minor bumps in the morning, we had a low key day with a nice dinner, no guests, no travel and something new to watch in the evening.
-Pcon has me on their tentatiev schedule
-which means i’m totally energized to retrun to the Black madonna project
-healthy kids, happy kids
-everythign really
Cheers, Chickeneers!
The Hard
– deciding to stay home because I was sick, instead of going to New Orleans to give my talk last Saturday
– the Cold From Hell
– bad hair days
The Good
– a whole week off from work
– three great yoga classes in a row
– hosting Thanksgiving for Misfits (vegans! omnivores! gluten free! oh my!) [but everyone drinks scotch so we all get along]
The hard:
Virus. So not how I was anticipating to spend the week. Plus seems to have done weird things to my appetite so now all I fancy eating are roast dinners, cheese scones, East Asian food and toast and honey.
Hours and hours spent being absolutely ravenous because of the above, even when there was a fridge full of other food.
Only two hours spent bellydancing this week owing to viruseyness and tiredness. And not getting to the class I want to go to again.
Silent retreat!
A morning spent intensely worrying as a beloved furball was having surgery.
Discovering what exactly are the least ideal conditions for me to wait in at the drs before an intimate examination. Bah!
The good:
Beloved furball was fine and is recovering well.
Being able to stop when sick, and having got so many books out of the library last week.
Goddess Tarot cards!
Clarity around a thing!
Friends.
An astonishingly beautiful and peaceful walk in the countryside. Sunsets! Golden late autumn-winter light.
Fairly sure there was other good stuff that’s been eaten by virus-brain.
Smear test was normal so I don’t have to go back until 2015, after the last 2 years of having smear tests every 6 months.
What worked:
Stopping trying to do anything ‘productive’ when ill.
Wearing my sovereignty boots!
Feliway!
What I try next time:
Is there such a thing as vegetarian, sugar-free East Asian ready made food?
Seeing if there is a quiet waiting room at the drs/taking iPod filled with soothing music to me.
Good wishes to all. 🙂
@Havi, wishing Peace and Harmony for you in spite of everything that was hard.
@Rhiannon & Scarlet Ellora, hooray and welcome!
@VickiB, so happy for you to have MrB, Boomerang Boy and your Mom around.
Chick chick this week … the Hard:
– Gus, the family dog, died on Wednesday after his kidney failure got a lot worse over the last three weeks.
– Got scammed online while distracted over Gus + trying to get ready to travel for Thanksgiving. Sigh.
The Good:
+ Gus was with two of his girls at a holistic vet’s out in the country, in her back yard, with beautiful fields and cows in the distance, and he was asleep in Patricia’s lap before the vet even used the drugs. We’ve been telling Gus stories which helps us not to be so sad. I’m keeping his favorite toy and we will donate the rest.
+ The scammers used a trick involving a horrible story about someone I know and admire; luckily, the things they claimed to get my sympathy didn’t really happen to her. Thank goodness.
+ Had a wonderful family Thanksgiving with interesting guests, yummy food and wine, and a round-the-table story-telling game. Plus the there were volunteers who got the cleaning-up, putting-away, and furniture-returning all done before everyone went to bed.
I’m so grateful to have this space to come back to in order to reflect.
The hard.
– Not getting enough sleep/rest/work done to keep balance.
– Nightmares and waking up in the middle of the night.
– Overwhelm.
– Fear and anxiety
-TRIGGERS. So TRIGGERED. This week was full of triggers, and then warnings that the next 4 weeks will ALL be FULL of triggers.
– Random pains in my body. No clue why, no relief despite reiki/pills/water.
– Got further and further behind in my writing.
The good.
– Green tea
– Supportive friends.
– Saw an old friend for first time in 5 years. Found out we still get on – revelation for me.
– Did some exercise.
– Drove my car and didn’t feel as scared as normal.
– Planning for my new flat – including how to deal with obvious triggers – putting support systems in early.
– My partner 🙂
Superpowers!
A superpower I had this week…
Planning and Visualising support
And a superpower I want next week.
Slow, gentle flow… Everything’s too fast right now. I’d like to slow it down a bit.
Cheers cheers chickeneers!
@Havi – thank you thank you tha-ah-ah-ank you for sharing your process with us all through this hard hard year and for this fabulous site. You are one fabulous woman with a fabulous duck!
@Rhiannon – congrats! Huzzah hoorah hooray! Welcome Scarlet Ellora!!
@Elizabeth- thank you for sharing the hardness of the PTSD this week and especially for being open enough to find “You did your job. You keep doing it.” in the midst of such a hard week. I need to find that movie! It goes on the list.
As for my weekly chicken…
THE GNARBLY BITS:
– WaVeS of … exhaustion.
– A bit of heart sadness around family secrets. I’ll take a silent retreat on this one.
– Too much computering — hurts my eyes and eats my time and it is isn’t that the computering is BAD, in fact it has become in someways a magical wonderland but… it is just… I think I need to leash it a BIT. Or something.
THE TASTY BITS:
+ Receiving a tasty box of LOVE from a friend afar.
+ Finding my way to the yoga mat 4 mornings in a row – it feels so good.
+ Celebrating time spent with family and friends – either in person or online or on the phone. I tend to hermit a lot and it gets even more pronounced when I’m working on a big project. I need so much time… alone… but I also need to connect with my peeps….balance balance balance….
+ Allowing openness and curiosity to be my guides. In life and in my work.
+ Gathering gifties of all sorts and sizes for the big give-away day.
+ Snow snow snow snow — turning my world into a winter wonderland! And maybe even letting me hermit a bit LEGITIMATELY – nothing like a snow day to declare a day of curling up under a blanket with a book!
+ cozy clothes to wear on said snow day – huzzah for hats and leggings and big socks and my serape!!! OLE!
+ Surprised by a full day offline. Friday. It was past 4pm before I even thought of turning on my sweety machine, Tippy the Typer. I was reaching for the ON button… and then I decided… I’d rather watch a movie. And then another. And then… go to bed with my book. A lovely way to end the week.
Stay cozy, my friends.
Go easy -p
-o- pebble
Oh, Havi – all the hugs! And appreciation.
My good stuff this week:
Rhiannon having a baby
Thanksgiving went well
Feeling close to my dream and feeling it in all its possibility
A long, long, long overdue phone call with a loved one
Something clicking, epiphany-style
The bad:
There’s not much bad.
Having to buy new snow tires
Feeling angry at America on Black Friday
This week I really just want to appreciate the good.
Clucking in for the chicken…
What worked: trusting Wonderbaby could cope with a five hour stint without me. She could! And did! Yay.
Next time I might: honour the finite nature of the cash in my wallet, and channel the energy of it more consciously. *sigh*
Hard
– packing, moving, neither here nor there, reconfiguring, etc.
– teething baby. Where did my sunshiny girl go for four days?
– people expecting that you will dance the old dance steps and being tired of their blockheaded attachment to old dance steps that you do not want to dance anymore and monster extrapolations into the We Are All Doomed end of the business.
– patterns colliding and getting tangled
– sovereignty fails. Epic fails, as the zomglol kids would say.
– late nights, tired. Zzzzz
Good
+ resonance and companionship
+ a bunch of visions of possibility and anticipation. looking forward!
+ two little teeth! And a happy baby.
+ Little Lad is going to cope. He really is! He is as ready as he needs to be, he is going to the right school, I am setting up the right supports for him, he’s going to be okaaaaaayy!!!!’
+ the most thuggishly violent of my monster crew, You Are A BAD MOTHER, has been shrunk, strapped firmly into his seat about four feet away from me, and had the volume turned way down. He is where he is because of what I’ve done RIGHT, he’s come as far as he has because of all the things I did WELL! This is a very new and tender feeling. But it is important.
+ distilling the essence of my desires. Magic class!!
+ I met a friend!!! And went out of my house alone like a grown up!!!!! Also high quality slam poetry was involved and a youtube fest pulling up everything by Taylor Mali. *swoon* And I have a date with another friend this week!!! And my friend came back! Friends!!
+ my aunt’s pavlova. Excellent cream to meringue proportions. Also she has raspberries growing in her yard!!! Raspberries!!! Straight off the bush!!!! #yum
That will do for now even though there was more.
Love to all, including dear old Gus, Sue. xoxoxo
Another good!
Little Lad is starting school next year and we are moving to the country. His school is just out of town, rolling green hills all around with cows about two meters from the fence, 34 kids, great facilities, FANTASTIC culture, chills, vegie patches, guinea pigs, a tranquility labyrinth, a sensory garden (with nettles growing in the ‘touch’ corner right now! Hilarious, I might have to adopt this as my personal project for the school!) Plus because it’s such a small school everyone knows everyone, and the kids are used to a range of superpowers and vulnerabilities, and bullying is a non-issue – the kids self-police and consider ‘shut up stupidhead’ a serious breach of acceptable standards. Ace! I’ll take those standards!
And GET THIS: they have the Friendly Tree!
The Friendly Tree is a big gum tree with a seat around it where you can go if you are ever feeling sad and lonely and the other kids know if they see you sitting there it is their responsibility to go to you, sit with you and be nice to you, and ask you to play with them if you feel like it.
!!!!
I’m enraptured. <3 <3 <3
And by ‘chills’ I meant CHOOKS which is Aussie for chickens and my autocorrection pixie changed it for me. duuuhhh…
@havi – I wish you peace and as much love as you can stand in whatever form you want it during whatever this is that is happening for you right now.
@Rhiannon – A new life – ahhhh…beautiful.
The hard:
* Two weeks without power, water or heat as a result of Sandy. Cold, tired, displaced, & cranky.
*When power went back on, boiler and other important parts of house went kaput. All have to be replaced.Annoying. Expensive.
The Good:
* Got a new client.
* Found out how and where I want to contribute my time as a volunteer.
* Lunched with a friend I hadn’t seen in 30 years and it wasn’t awkward, it was great!
* Going on holiday to Austin – yay
Happy week all chicken practitioners
Judy
I”ve been in and out lurking for awhile. I just wanted to say
1) congrats to the new mama and baby – i had a homebirth 1.5 years ago – it was a great start to my mothering journey and hope it will be the same for you!
2) havi, you deserve all the best in the coming year. goodbye 2012, soon!
3) i’m thinking about joining this crazy band of creative folks. not sure… but thinking about it enough to post a hello… if anyone wants to message me a little about their experience with the floop this year, I’d like to know more…