Yes, it’s Purim.
Unless you’re Stu (my voice to text software), in which case it’s either pour him, query him, Kareem or, weirdly, Putin.
Stu doesn’t speak Hebrew. And we have some commute Haitian (communication) problems aside from that… but I actually like him more than I let on.
Anyway, poor aim! I mean, Purim! Cut it out, Stu. You know I hate to type.
Here’s what you need to know about Purim.
Unless you’re racking your brain trying to remember the plot of “Home for Purim” in For Your Consideration, I’ll just assume you have no idea what I’m talking about and go from there.
Purim is my absolute favorite holiday. Ever.
It involves getting dressed up in costumes, screaming at the top of your lungs and getting drunk. It’s basically Roller Derby, with cookies.
It’s also got some pretty good themes. Identity. Speaking your truth. Salvation. Memory. And I already mentioned the cookies.
Also I was born right after Purim. And if you’re about to point out that my birthday was a couple of days ago and Purim is right now, let me just add that the Hebrew calendar is interesting lunar.
So… since Selma and I are going to be spending the day in costume, screaming and going on cookie delivery runs with my gentleman friend, I thought I would share with you some rambling software-dictated thoughts and my mother’s amazing hamentaschen recipe.
My mother’s hamentaschen: are better than yours.
But of course first I have to share with you Stu’s interpretation of “hamentaschen”.
My favorite so far is “Hmmm passion”, which kind of sums up how I feel about them. I’m also a fan of “how men fashion”, even though it makes no sense. Unless it’s a snippet of Dickens.
And “Hahnemann Cassian”? Sheer genius.
Moving on. I can’t actually eat ham and passion hamentaschen because they have sugar in them and I can’t eat sugar.
But I can lick the spoon of the all-fruit-filling and then dance around the room on a crazy high and collapse on the floor laughing, which is what I did yesterday. Oh, the fun that is my life.
Okay, hamentaschen. It means Haman’s pockets or Haman’s purse in Yiddish. Or if you prefer the Hebrew version? Haman’s ears.
Forget about etymology. My mother’s are the best in the entire world.
I may have alluded yesterday to her weird tendency to jump to bizarre conclusions, but what’s a bizarre conclusion, really, compared to exceptionally good hamentaschen?
If you’re thinking meh, hamentaschen, that’s because you’ve had the fat, doughy, flour-ey kind. This is something different. Entirely different.
So, between me, my mother and Stu, I’m going to make sure you get the recipe.
The whole recipe, complete with parts of our phone conversation when she gave it to me, and with Stu’s charming interlocutions, because it’s that kind of day. Let the hilarity ensue. Also, a bunch of people on Twitter asked me for it.
The recipe.
Getting started.
My mother: You can make them dairy or you can also not make them dairy, if you’re not eating dairy. I can’t keep track of what you’re not eating.
Me: I’ll make them dairy.
My mother: You don’t have to.
Me: I’m going to.
The dough.
You will love this dough! It’s super easy-to-work-with-mooshable cookie dough type dough.
Oooh, and before you even start reading the ingredients, take the butter out of the refrigerator right now. You’ll thank me later.
Here’s what you need:
- 1/2 cup butter = 1 stick (room temperature-ish)
- 1 cup brown sugar (this is my little tweak, I like the consistency better and my gentleman friend likes the taste)
- 1 egg
- 2 cups flour
- 2 tsp baking powder (“Not soda, you’ll ruin it!”)
- 2 Tsp orange juice
- 1 tsp pure vanilla (here we go again) or almond extract
Here’s what you do:
- cream butter with sugar
- add egg and stir
- stir the flour and the baking powder together
- you add half of flour mixture and then all of o.j. and vanilla. And mix well.
- add the remaining flour mixture and you end up with either a roll or a patty.
- divide into two balls of dough and chill several hours or overnight.
My mother: The dough can be refrigerated up to a week.
Me: I’m making them today.
My mother: Up to a week.
Me: Good to know.
The filling
- several handfuls of uncooked dried figs
- a few handfuls of raisins (golden or regular)
- a couple shakes of cinnamon
Cover the fruit with water and bring to boil.
Cook on low heat until all squooshy. It takes a while. Maybe an hour.
Add cinnamon towards the end. Remove. Cool.
Since I usually refrigerate the dough for several hours or overnight, I stick the pot of fruit goo into the refrigerator as well.
My mother: You could also add just one small apple. You can chop it, grind it or grate it.
Me: No, I’m just a mistake with exaggerations. Scratch that. That was Stu. What I meant to say was no, I’m just going to stick with the raisins.
My mother: Just a small one. It adds texture.
Me: Okay.
My mother: I add 2 teaspoons of honey. But you don’t eat honey.
Me: Okay.
My mother: You can add cinnamon and nuts too. Or a teaspoon of lemon juice and a half a cup of chopped nuts. Or use dates. Or prunes. And throw in some walnuts.
Me: Okay.
My mother: Never mind, if you don’t like it, why don’t you just make them with jam?
Me: Not so into the jam.
My mother: Apricot is best for jam.
Me: Okay.
Yes, we have some commute Haitian problems. I know. But she’s lovely and I adore her and she makes some mean hamentaschen.
The actual cookie making part
Here’s what you do:
- Spread waxed paper over the counter and sprinkle some flour around artistically. Take a chunk of dough and roll it out.
- Use a glass to cut perfect circles in the dough. Take a spoonful of the fruit filling and place it in the center of your flat circle.
- Use your thumb and forefinger to roll up the edges on three sides. Then pinch the corners together and you have a little triangle.
- Butter a baking sheet and load it up with hamentaschen. They’ll spread a little but not too much.
- Bake at 350 until they’re delicately brown at corners and undersides. Somewhere between 10 and 20 minutes.
My mother: You forgot to say that they can also be frozen in layers in an aluminum pie tin.
Me: Are you kidding? These are the best cookies in the entire world. They’re not going to stick around. We’ll deliver some in mishloach manot to Mark and Dana and Shannon. And then Ez and my gentlemen friend will take care of the rest. I bet they’re all gone by tomorrow.
My mother: Don’t forget to put waxed paper between the layers when you pack them.
Me: Okay.
I actually have more to tell you about celebrating Purim — like the crazy, hippie synagogue we ended up at where they actually had a song called “I love my big Jew frog”. I so wish that I had just made that up. Or that Stu had made that up.
Alas, no. But that will have to wait until Friday.
Happy Purim, in the meantime. Or Putin. Eat a cookie for me or something.
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Thanks for the recipe! I’ll make them this weekend-yum!
Thanks for the recipe. Might have to try it. And the commentary with the mother is also good. Funnier from a distance, I suspect. Also, why has it never occurred to me that I could use a glass as a cookie cutter? Duh.
Happy Purim.
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Great recipe! Happy Purim!
I’ll be eating cookies for you. 🙂
Sue
Sues last blog post..Step 1 – Better Business Decisions aka Fixing My Mistakes
I thought I was the only one who is just a mistake with exaggerations. Nice to know I’m not alone in the world! And nicer to know I’m not the only one whose requests for family recipes usually result in bizarre phone conversations.
Me: Hi Gram! Can you give me your recipe for potato pancakes?
Gram: Sure. How big is your fist?
Me: ???
That’s how she measured the right size potatoes. Makes perfect sense, no?
Happy Purim to you!
Thanks for posting this on twitter…I had no idea that they were this easy!!
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Happy Purim, dearest Havi! Anything that’s Roller Derby with cookies sounds great right about now. 🙂
Interesting about the Hebrew calendar and your birthday. The Zoroastrian calendar is different too–the whole calendar moves up a day every four years, to adjust for leap years–so growing up, we always celebrated two (full-on celebrations, with gifts and food!) birthdays. One on the regular date, and one some days earlier.
I hope you get to celebrate again too–the day you were born is worthy of prolonged celebration!
The rest of what Purim stands for–“Identity. Speaking your truth. Salvation. Memory.”–is pretty powerful too. Enjoy!
Love, Hiro
Hiro Bogas last blog post..Creative Connection: Where’s Your Muse When the Baby’s Spitting Up at 3 am?
Happy Purim Havi!
And thank you for the recipe. It sounds very delicious.
Shawna R. B. Atteberrys last blog post..Congratulations Lainie Sips!
Chag Purim! LOL @ the big Jew frog song – will you be posting the lyrics?
And the cookies sound yummy! If I move to Portland*, can I get on the Havi/Selma distribution list? 😉
*I’m not, but those cookies sound /almost/ good enough
In an effort to work on my ignorant gentile thing, I googled hamentaschen and Purim yesterday (hey look – “googled” is not caught by spell-check, but “hamentaschen” is – the world is a funny place – I mean, which is the older word?) and came away nonplussed. But you, of course, are better than Wikipedia any day. Thanks. (Having fun picturing the screaming deliveries-hope you are having a ball!).
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Thanks, guys for celebrating with me and playing along with the wackiness.
@Liz: I laughed out loud at the “how big is your fist” question, something I cannot imagine my grandmother ever having asked anyone. That’s awesome.
@Nathan: If baking cookies is what’s going to get you to Portland, I’m committing to becoming a baker.
So happy that you’re all doing the hamentaschen thing with me, or at least eavesdropping on my awkward conversations. You guys are the best!
Thanks Havi, I’m going to try and make these soon! Happy Purim!
Oh, yippee, yum, yay. LOVE hamentaschen, and haven’t ever seen a recipe that sounds this good.
Thanks, Havi!
(One definitely never knows what one will find on your blog – which is why I check it out every day!)
Happy Purim!
Grace Judsons last blog post..Make it insanely easy
Makes me think of my dad’s recipe for Chicken Paprikash.
“First, you steal a chicken…”
Juliannas last blog post..Bring it on, Mrs O
Purim sameach, Havi!!! Loved this, I was laughing so hard… especially like Stu’s poor English, my favorite being, “No, I’m just a mistake with exaggerations.” LOL… loooove that. You can’t make that stuff up…
Oh, and I ate way too many cookies for you today. Consider your Purim-cookie obligation fulfilled. 😉
Love your loyal, lurker in Israel,
~ Rachel
Happy purim! Thanks for the recipe, I am going to try and make it tomorrow.
Are you sure your mother isn’t Korean? She sounds like my mom walking me through making kimchi!
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Hello dear Havi, I have missed you! And happy Purim! Speaking of fun songs at synagogue, have you done the ‘Oy Vey!’ dance?
Happy Purim (have you ever wondered why we capitalize both words even when it’s not the start of a sentence . . . like we never write “happy Halloween”?)!
The cookies look marvelous.
So I’m wondering if Stu has a graphic image? We see Stella all the time, and Stu is becoming a favorite too.
Terry Heaths last blog post..Trigger, Peek-a-Boo Sound Bites, and Thanks Havi
“My mother: You can add cinnamon and nuts too. Or a teaspoon of lemon juice and a half a cup of chopped nuts. Or use dates. Or prunes. And throw in some walnuts.
Me: Okay.
My mother: Never mind, if you don’t like it, why don’t you just make them with jam?
Me: Not so into the jam.
My mother: Apricot is best for jam.
Me: Okay.”
This sounds like me and my mother! (who I adore) Lots of commuting Haitians around here.
Happy Purim! Esther kicks a**, right? Hugs–
Oh my goodness, Havi!
I know that you and Stu have your “issues” but I must say that I am mightily enjoying the Stuisms. But then I’m a total sucker for a good laugh. And of COURSE Stu thinks Purim is a Putin. You said your self that he is a communist. Not Putin… well, yes of COURSE Putin… but Stu. At least I think you said that…. Or am I making things up?? I’m all discomboobalated from your high wackiness today!
Oh well….. I’m getting a major kick out of you and Stu and fabulous jewish cookies and …. does your mom read your blog?
Hugs,
Chris
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I agree with Chris. You were funny before. But the Stu and Havi team is even funnier. How does Selma feel about that?
Thanks for the yummy-looking recipe! I might have to try it this weekend (5-month old permitting).
Best, Wendy
Wendy Maynards last blog post..Yoga is Life is Relationships is Business is Yoga
When I read about your cookies this morning on Twitter my first thought was ‘but do they have sugar?’ – which led me to Google the recipe.
Your Mom’s recipe looks fantastic — and I also found one that is sugar-free AND gluten-free… it uses agave nectar (?) http://tinyurl.com/c6jfwu
Not as yummy as your mother’s, but interesting…
Joan
Happy Hmmm passion/how men fashion/Hahnemann Cassian/
Putin/PURIM! And Happy Lunar Birthday too!
Too funny. Very yummy…with variations!
Much screaming and drinking to you. Enjoy the day!
Havi! Thank you so much for the recipe!
I never liked my mom’s hamentashen but I love hamentashen so I am always in a bind.