Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
At the very least, useful noticings about my relationship with wanting. It all counts.
♡
What do I want?
BDMV is the Big Dumb Mitten Visit.
The Mitten is Michigan.
The Big Dumb Mitten is what Bonnie calls Michigan.
I am going there.
I have mixed feelings about Michigan, and Michigan-in-the-winter and flying there. Actually, I have unmixed feelings about the second two things.
BDMV works for me in so many ways. Dumb is secretly related to: I am not speaking. Big has to do with how symbolically big. And the entire phrase can be shortened to Big DMV, which goes perfectly with my existing acronym: Department of Magical Voyages.
What I want is SMOOTHNESS and EASE with the visit. With no aftermath please.
What I want is Now Is Not Then.
What I want is to be able to remember and hang onto the things I’ve been practicing in the six years since my last visit.
What do I want?
To not be in my stuff about this.
What I want is a way to work with it, even though [STUFF], and to find the ease.
What do I want?
To stay grounded and centered. To know what I want. To take care of myself.
To remember the most important thing in the world: I don’t need to care what other people think about me or my life.
And lots of snacks.
What do I want?
Ease. Miracles. Simplicity. Perfect simple solutions. Good surprises. Speediness. Right timing. Present Time. Trust. Sweetness.
What do I want?
I am noticing how nervous I am about the plane rides. Planes destroy force fields and are hard on my body. To do this visit, I need the world’s strongest force field, and to be connected to my body so I don’t follow my tendency/inclination to disconnect and disassociate.
So I want strategies for the plane.
Where/how do I want to start?
What else could BDMV stand for?
Boldness. Daring. Mission. Valour!
Or:
Beauty. Desires. Melodies. Visions.
Anything else coming up?
This weekend I had a [potentially scary doctor visit] for the first time in many years. The last one had been pretty disastrous, so I was experiencing anxiety about this one.
I set things up with a lot of love, and with so much entry and gwish-scripting (writing out how I want to feel and what I experience while feeling it). I practiced all the practices.
And it was great. Smooth, easy. Nothing was wrong. All was well. I planted “all my interactions are harmonious”, and they were. I planted, “I am treated with enormous respect”, and I was.
So maybe this doctor visit was actually Secret Training for this voygage to the/my Big Dumb Mitten.
Maybe it was an example of how things can be, instead of a reminder of how things used to be.
What are the qualities of my wish?
Huh. Exactly the same compass from last time.
Peacefulness. Trust. Steadiness. Warmth. Grounding Anchors. Sweetness. Power. Clear seeing.
And the superpowers of I Am Not Alone.
What would help me move forward on this? How am I going to play?
Using a sankalpa.
Doing secret spirals with the compass and finding all the combinations.
Peacefull steadiness anchors the power. Trust warms the sweetness so that I can see clearly.
I trust in warmth. I am warming the sweetness. Sweetness is helping to clear my sight. I see this trust clearly. Peacefulness steadies me. Steady are the grounded anchors. Anchoring the power, so I can be powerfully peaceful.
Drawing a crown and a heart on my palm. Thinking: Crown. Heart.
What is my clue?
At the doctor’s office there was a piano that had the word CROWN on it.
Crown is my clue. When I am wearing my crown, I take care of myself. I set clear, loving expectations. I do not put up with crap. I am warm and gracious. I am connected to my thank-you heart.
Anything else?
If the plane ride is full of clues, then I can treat it as a passage and a mission.
So I am going to find the clues.
And I am going to wear my Headspace Protectors the entire time.
What else do I want?
Seeds planted without explanation, a mix of secret agent code and silent retreat dreams. Things I’m working on, or might be, someday…
- The Compass of Signs.
- May Peacefulness Prevail!
- Announcements.
- Everything is getting easier.
- Miracles everywhere.
- Regular dancing gigs at the ballroom, which is also the Spiegelsaal.
- This doesn’t require my input!
- Ha, it’s so perfect that it turned out like this.
- Past me is a GENIUS.
- I have what I need, and I appreciate it.
- There is money for this.
- Trust and steadiness. I can see why this moment is good.
- Hawaii.
- I am fearless and confident, and I do the brave things and give myself sparklepoints, and it is not even a big deal that I did the brave things but I still get sparklepoints, yay.
This week’s ops?
Mostly I am going to be dealing with the Mitten. I may wish to peek at Operation Rewire The Swishes.
I’m playing with…
Trust, fluidity, peacefulness, This Moment Is Right.
Attenzione! AGENTS.
I am deep in an undercover mission to get better at Gracefully Accepting Thanks. Or: Glowing Receptivity and Being Receptive to Glow.
This mission also resolves a question we get from people a lot, which is “I really, really want to thank you, except I’m not going to buy products and I can’t come to a Rally.” And it is also related to Operation Coming Out Of All The Closets, so I can share some experiences from Then where past-me thought her best survival strategy was not-sharing-how-hard-things-are.
If you would like to support my mission by sharing sweetness and appreciation for any aspect of my work, I would love that. You can do it with the magic of words, through the comments, or add something to Barrington’s Discretionary fund. (Explanation!)
And if the way you are glowing appreciation is quietly in your heart, I like that too. It all counts. ♡
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
So. Last week, aka Adaptability, clarity, music…
My wish had to do with adapting to new intel.
And using music.
Music was definitely a big part of this week. I also liked that Agent White sent me daily recommendations.
The smartest thing I seeded last week (that I know of) was I Have All The Support I Need. That really, really, really came through for me this week.
Thank you, writing. Thank you, me who asked.
Keep me company?
You are welcome to drop in with wishes, gwishes, visions, personal ads. Small or large, and in any form you like. There is no right way to do this. Updates on past experiments are welcome too, as is anything sparked for you.
Commenting culture: This is safe space for creative exploration. We ask for what we need. We are on permanent vacation from care-taking and advice-giving. We are here to play.
Let’s throw some things in the pot! And, as always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.
xox
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CHEESE! Cheese makes many things better. Sending warm wishes.
Sending many wishes for mitten-ease in your direction.
<3
What I am wanting this week is change. Where I am now is not good for me in a whole long list of ways, and I don't have the energy to figure out what the change needs to be, so I'm throwing all the things against the wall and hoping one of them sticks.
<3
Mmmm trust and love and good things to you. ?
(That’s supposed to be as heart. <3 )
I just got back from the Mitten yesterday. Road tripped it over there for 5 days. I sprinkled some glitter and snacks, so it’s ready for your arrival.
What I want this week:
+ Courage to show up as I choose to be instead of who I think I should be. (Uncanny how challenging this can be sometimes.) I look forward to feeling free and secure and strong.
+ The Super Power of Staying in My Own Business. (Incredible how easily my mind can try to take on gigantic societal issues that can’t be solved right now.) I look forward to Being Here Now.
+ The ability to find ways to play no matter where I am or what’s going on. (This is SUCH a mood-lifter and life-balancer when I actually practice it.) I look forward to living in possibilities.
+ Super Power of: Aura of Upliftment – an energy field that inspires and uplifts me no matter what’s going on. (Definitely sensing my deep need for invincibility!)
+ The power of remembrance that none of this really even matters…reminding me not to take things SOOOO seriously.
Ooh, superpower of staying in my own business! That’s brilliant.
There is a story behind the “big dumb [noun]” naming convention, but it’s a long one. 🙂 But as the official unofficial ambassadress(!!!) of the bdm, I say welcome, and will whisper that current mitten living conditions are MUCH less crappy than they were a week ago. So things are for sure getting better in preparation for your visit. Leaving some blog-based hugs here for you, if/when you need some.
Didn’t the deity de jour say something about being honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his relatives and his own family?
My family visited us for Christmas, which was great. Â We cooked and hosted for my parents, my sister and her family and one of my cousins for three days. Â On one hand this was an exhausting labour of love that I’m still recovering from. Â On the other, it was a wonderful head spin of a role reversal. Â
I was struck by how much power a host has. Â Obviously a bad host can make a guest uncomfortable very easily and a good one can put people at ease and make them feel welcome. Â There is also something quite subtle about the influence that a host has in that relationship though. Â This may indicate some latent megalomania in me, but I was conscious of pulling and twisting and moulding the rituals of our little festival into something that made sense in my world. Â Everyone seemed to enjoy it so I feel no guilt, but the power was kind of intoxicating.
May there be warmth and coziness for you somewhere in your mitten Havi.
“What do I want? To not be in my stuff about this (hahaha, I am so in my stuff about this)” made me laugh and realise “me too” and also want to send you an internet hug. I is wrapped round a parcel of grounding and centering and snacks. It also holds a tiny secret carefully wrapped sparkling box that contains that miniature bridge to the part of you that is a bird. If you choose to open this on the flight, the whole thing becomes ease-filled and natural because, hey, I’m a bird, this is the simplest thing in the world.
Hello dear “you-are-commenting-and-what-if-people-think-you-are-studpid-and-won’t-like-you”-Monster. Thank you for showing up. Here, grab some coffees:)
What do I want?
– to continue Mission M & Mission F
– to not being my stuff about this
– Castle building! and garden renovating
– How does one get to Mordor by walking?
Mittens keep the cold from biting off my fingers. Sometimes they come in bright colours, sometimes they don’t. My grandmother knits mittens, they’re awesome. She’s awesome too, but that’s a different story.
Free internet hugs for anyone who needs/wants them:)
I’m very interested in knowing what your thoughts are on ” “I really, really want to thank you, except I’m not going to buy products and I can’t come to a Rally.” because I’m one of those people.
I’m tired of people trying to sell me e-books that they wrote on a weekend, or seminars that they have recycled over and over when clearly they’ve put their best work on the blog and that’s why I want to show appreciation for.
Long time since I visited.
This blog is still as lovely as ever.
What do I want?
For trust and sparkly hope to flood my force field. And I mean FLOOD. Not just, “I have trust” “I have hope” but for trust and hope to be all I have, for it to drown out everything that is not-trust and not-hope.
What do I want?
More anticipating and taking care of the needs of Slightly Future Me.
What do I want?
“I’m shifting this pattern and it’s no big deal, I’m just doing a thing slightly differently, nothing remarkable here, pancakes la la la.” For changes that are important to happen with ease and “I’m barely paying attention because it’s one thing out of a zillion things in my life”-ness instead of fraught with all of this heavy existential significance. For change to feel like spiking a bowl of whipped cream with a splash of amaretto instead of tearing a brick house down and building a new one. YES. I like that.
What do I want?
Living with my new roommate (roommates? because: most scrumptuously delightful dog!) to be like, “ha ha ha this is so absurdly wonderful, the only that that sucks is that we didn’t do this 5 years ago”.
What do I want?
A luscious, tingingly gleeful, shamelessly hedonistic end to 2013 and greeting of 2014. Plans are in place for this to happen. It feels like a giant flip-off for [all the things that are so fucking shitty this year] because — guess what, 2013? We remember things by beginnings and endings and I am ending this year with outrageous sexiness and outsized pleasure for Simone. So, fuck you, [things that were hard]. I am over that level of the video game already because: look! Pleasure.
Also, what I want:
A sweet, ease-filled, fortituuuudinal trip to the Mitten for my favorite Havi. May it be so. <3
I like this SO much, Simone! Thank you!
“What do I want? … For change to feel like spiking a bowl of whipped cream with a splash of amaretto instead of tearing a brick house down and building a new one. ”
Cloud Quilt #5
My favorite weeks of the year, entering the new year as I would like to be in it.
I wanted a vacation of the perfect blend of things I love and it has been so. Sewing, reading, walking, sleeping, homemaking. And there are still more days of it!
Leaving my other wish (for the wonderful gentleman person) on the table, with my heart.
Wishing for warm mittens for everyone, whatever their mitten may be.
Hello, crazy moving week! I am asking for ease, and play, and the intimate joy of shared adventure.
I will breathe deeply. I will stretch often. I will conduct.
I hope the BDMV goes as well as it can, Havi.
2013 was an excellent year for me. But I’m ready for a new year, and more changes. Welcome, 2014!
I just arrived in the Mitten tonight for a visit about which I feel equal parts joy and trepidation. Glowing appreciation for your practices and clues–they have helped me immensely– in your direction.
May there be peacefulness.
May there be boundaries.
May there be salves of Now Is Not Then and Everything I Need Arrives With Ease.
May there be courage and radiance and presence (because even if tonight looked nothing like what I want for the year ahead, in this moment I am entering 2014 as I wish to be in it — thanks, seagirl!)