Personal ads. They’re … personal!
Here we are. Week 319 of wishing. Welcome. Let’s do this. ♡
Round House.
I want to live in a round house.
What’s a round house?
When I was nineteen, I was in Wisconsin, and a series of complicated coincidences and connections resulted in a certain lovely Sunday adventure: I ended up taking several elementary school kids on a field trip to a one room round house on a small farm outside of Madison.
A family lived in this house, I can’t remember if one kid or two. The father and I had friends in common in Israel.
They had built the house themselves. One round room. Divided up with curtains.
They sold produce from the farm at the local farmers market.
The house was beautiful, simple, welcoming, comforting, reassuring, playful, alive.
It felt like being in a completely magical space, filled with love.
How do I feel thinking about this?
Wistful. Happy. Full-heart.
What else do I remember about this?
On the way back, in the car, he gestured around us, at the cars heading into the city, and he said:
“We live in BOXES, we don’t even question it, we just go from box to box, in our cages.”
Anything else about this?
I remember thinking that I wanted to live this round house life, but also that I couldn’t live without privacy, that a curtain would never be enough.
But now I could live like this. I mean, I just spent four months on the road in a tiny camper, and it wasn’t even round.
Back then I didn’t know anyone I trusted enough to share space with like that. And anyway, I didn’t feel at home in myself, how could I feel at home in an open circle?
Asking again. What’s a round house?
I love rounded edges.
I love cozy spaces that have roundness.
Like this bus conversion, except a space that is for me, not for me and four kids.
Say more about roundness please….
The first time I walked into the space that was to become the Playground, my center, I saw the impossibly high coved ceilings, the smooth rounding from wall to ceiling, and my whole body said yes.
The Playground was rectangular, but it felt round.
What’s a round house?
When I was in my first yoga teacher training many years ago, we used to do these ridiculously long sessions, maybe four hours of practice including meditation. You’d just conk out at the end, completely empty.
One day I had a vision.
I was in a round room with eight windows that were actually doors to the outside.
There was a yoga mat facing each one. It was a practice space for me. Not a teaching space, not me and students. This was a space for just-me. So why eight mats.
I went closer and they weren’t mats, they were colorful painted rectangles on the floor. Like placeholders.
I did a sun salutation on each one, lazily circling the room like a compass.
Years later, in the playground, when I developed dances of rotating spirals, using all directions of the compass, combining these with sun salutations, this all started to make more sense.
What’s a round house?
When my hypnotist leads me to go deep inside of myself, deep into unexplored places, we begin at a [certain place] and from there a staircase, and from there a door, and from there a room, and from there: all the most marvelous internal adventures.
Entering the room is my favorite part, and it is always different but it is also always the same.
It is either round or heart-shaped, with french doors that open onto a small quiet enclosed garden.
A round house, just for me.
It is the cockpit of my mind, it is the sweet center of my heart, it is the secret sanctuary of deep woman-space, it is each cell in my body. Zoom in, zoom out. I am made of safe rooms, I am made of round houses.
What’s a round house?
My center was very successful and I opened a second, much larger one, and it Flailed Spectacularly and died, there was a two year period when all the barns burned….
We had giant round yoga mats there, like physical representations of force fields.
Richard painted them with the directions so that it was like sitting inside a compass. He attached little plastic sleeves so you could slip new qualities into each direction, surrounding yourself with qualities.
A circle isn’t really a home, but actually everything is a home for something.
What’s a round house?
Back in Wisconsin.
I just remembered that my friend Graham lived in a building called Round House apartments, at least, I think that was what it was called, it was a round tower.
It seems impossible to me now that I did not pick up on the very obvious double clue of that round house combined with my visit to the round house that spoke to me, but back then I was in far too much pain for clues to land.
Anyway, it was a round house and it was named Round House, and Graham and I watched Harold & Maude together, every Saturday afternoon. Our weekly ritual.
Coffee with Dave, followed by a walk, and then Harold & Maude, in the Round House.
Harold: Maude.
Maude: Hmm?
Harold: Do you pray?
Maude: Pray? No. I communicate.
Harold: With God?
Maude: With *life*.
What else about this?
Maude’s house was a Pullman railroad car!!!!!!
Maude’s house was full of round shapes and curves.
Maude’s house was not a place for children, though it was a place for childlike delight and full-body-joy.
Maude’s house was a place for her to rejoice in vital aliveness and be her most sparkling, effervescent, fully-present Maude-self.
Maude’s house is no more. Everything ends, right?
What’s a round house?
A roundhouse is a type of kick.
What’s a round house?
A roundhouse is where the trains turn around.
What do I know about round houses?
Well, when I was young, I wanted to grow up to be an interior designer.
Still do, except now the spaces I transform are very, very interior. Deep inside of me.
Or when it comes to external spaces, I fill them with qualities and beautiful things and clues, to support other people in figuring out their own internal spaces.
I had a favorite design book, and a favorite page: a round room with a round stone staircase.
What belongs in my round house?
One room. Bathtub. Toilet and sink behind a curtain.
A cozy window seat/writing nook. And a big bed, possibly in a loft.
A small open kitchenette.
Spaciousness.
Oh, and there is a labyrinth behind my round house, made of pebbles. I walk it each day and say thank you.
What is good about a round house?
It encompasses you. It is an actual compass all around you.
It is contained spaciousness and spacious containment.
It is sanctuary that is expansive.
It forces you to re-orient yourself.
What is challenging about a round house?
Well, exactly. You have to re-orient yourself.
What happens to me when I am in a round house?
I am filled with joy and vital aliveness. I am my full Havi-self.
What kind of round house is this round house?
I am not sure.
I have big joy sparks about earthships, yurts, geodesic domes.
Mandalas, kaleidoscopes, compasses.
And boats, of course.
Anything else about a round house?
I really like spaces where you can feel the shape of them.
Like Deb and Mark’s cottage. Or the one room cabin in northern Israel that was surrounded by a garden of lavender.
Or the Playground, which always felt like a boat to me.
My uncle Svevo’s cabin in the woods that he built and lived in for many years is also round.
Round feels very important to me right now.
Oh, and this is not round, but a spark about how a sukkah is a shelter, like a blanket fort, a safe container.
And a round house is another way to be inside of a Canopy of Peace.
What do I want to remember about this?
A round house feels vitally important as a clue and as a direction and as a desire.
I want to live inside of a compass, I want a force field around my force field, I want to be inside of an intentional shape, I want the that holy holiness feeling, like being inside of the sound of om.
That all sounds very intense and kind of nuts but that is how I am feeling about Round House right now.
I am softening into roundness, and this is good.
Invitation.
You are invited to share many !!!!!! about my wishes and realizations here, to share anything sparked for you while reading, to say “oh wow, what beautiful wishes” to me and to each other, to wish your own wishes.
I will also take all forms of EXCITEMENT and GLADNESS for this particular wish, and also clues if you have any, or good wishes if you don’t!
Now.
I changed the polish color on my toenails because DRASTIC was starting to feel a little “be careful what you wish for”, what with all the upheaval and crumbling foundations.
This new color is Ocean Treasure, it is green-blue and sparkles and is completely unlike something I would choose, and every time I look down at my feet I feel this frisson, and think WHOA THESE FEET BELONG TO ME, which is kind of perfect.
What does Slightly Future Me have to say?
Ze: Isn’t it marvelous that Operation Bolthole suddenly fell through? And so thoroughly that it was almost suspicious? You were directing all that effort into creating a space for you that isn’t what you actually want. The space you want is round.
Me: Hmmmmm. It’s a lot of upheaval, but I guess you’re right. It would feel pretty frustrating to build a space only to realize it isn’t my true yes. But isn’t this all very chaotic and impossible?
Ze: Stay with your desires, and let them show you what they want to show you. All will be revealed. Now you know what your yes is, and you can feel how it is different from a sort-of yes. This is important. And whether you find your way to an actual round house or create one for you in your heart for now, at least you know.
Clues.
Whoa. I looked up the origin of yurts as a name, and read that it is related to homeland.
HOME LAND.
Home + Land.
Landing in a home.
This all feels important right now.
As does the phrase living lightly on the land.
The superpower of Wildly Confident, Wonderfully Tranquil.
June was RELEASE MORE, with the superpower of I am stronger than I think, and July was LOVE MORE, because this is a badass way to live.
Now we are in TRUST MORE, with the superpower of Wildly Confident, Wonderfully Tranquil.
I had half-written wishes again this week, and again, for reasons unknown to me, I didn’t want to publish them, and then the Round House came to me, so I am trusting that.
So here is another opportunity to Trust More (there certainly doesn’t seem to be a shortage of these, thank you abundance and plenty?), and I am going to let this be a fractal flower for a bunch of other situations.
Things I find helpful for intentions and wishes…
Adventure. Rest. Horizons. Security. Passion. Sweetness. Clarity. Presence.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
So. Last week aka A new foundation..
Can we just have a good belly laugh about this?
Guess what I stumbled upon while flipping through a book looking for something else?
“Your life is a house. Abundance is the roof. The foundation that holds it all up is daily practice.”
And daily practice had been the wish I’d been writing but wasn’t ready to publish, and then this wish about a round home showed up.
So I have my new foundation. And I have my new home, at least in wish form. And now I am going to let the edges of everything round and just see what happens.
Thank you, process of writing about wishes. Thank you, me who asked.
Keep me company! Or just say hi!
You can deposit wishes, gwishes, personal ads, superpowers, qualities, seeds, secret agent code, whatever you’d like, there’s no right way! Updates on past experiments are welcome too, as is sharing anything sparked for you.
Comment culture: This is safe space for creative exploration. We are on vacation from care-taking and advice-giving. We are here to play and throw things in the pot! With amnesty. Leave a wish any time you want.
Here’s how we meet each other’s wishes: Oh, wow. What beautiful wishes.
xox
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Round house! What a beautiful wish!
I am still grappling with a huuuuuuuuge epiphany to the effect that I am allowed to make choices based on what I want. That I do not just have to bimble along hoping vaguely that the thing I want will happen, but am allowed to make choices and do things and make it happen. Dude.
And this is feeding into a conscious decision I made (and, say the monsters, IMMEDIATELY FORGOT ABOUT) last year to live as though I had nothing to wait for.
I am wishing this week:
– to find out what I really want;
And also:
– to play with rituals until I find something that works for every day;
– to recover quickly from this irritating bug (have picked up useful intel; can it be over now?)
– to really enjoy food.
What beautiful wishes and memories<3
My flat is 1 and 1/2 circles of space. Far up in the sky, with the vibrant parts of the city beneath it. It's probably the best place I'll ever live, and next summer I'll be leaving. Living elswhere. As I do right now, here at the End of the World (which I also love).
Wishes of today:
more clues about the strenghts of not belonging to places, but belonging everywhere.
Days of marvel.
Figuering out the university-thing, all things must come to an end.
More snouts needed<3
I am learning about the superpowers of Ease and Simplicity; activate!
A translation filter that removes some of the "stuff" from whatever conversations are in action. in order to hear what people are meaning (which sometimes differs quite a bit from what they are saying).
Sunshine brings sparkles everywhere, so more sunshine please! 😀
“Your life is a house. Abundance is the route. The foundation that holds it all up is daily practice.”
Lots of treasure for me to explore here. Thank you.
I keep thinking I had made wishes and then I go back to look for them and they aren’t there. I think I started to make them and then went away and forgot them. This is a clew.
What I wish for this week is the right words to talk to my assistant about what isn’t working, and to encourage her to take time off to become less distracted.
I also wish for a great conversation today with someone who might be a new assistant, but could assist with things like marketing and answering emails from people who want to meet with me so that they stop getting ignored.
I was just looking at a shoe-box shaped house on the beach, where everything is windows and doors that open to let the salt air flow through and I thought “yes.” It’s 5 million dollars however, so perhaps the yes was symbolic. Or the yes was saying “yes, you need a different kind of assistant who will help your business grow instead of one who just makes mistakes and then leaves.”
Those are my wishes.
Oh I love this about round houses!
Last night I was reading a book. I’ve read it several times before, but each time I am ready for more of it and so more of it lands. Sometimes I don’t even remember having read whatever it is before, though of course I have, several times.
It’s also a book that makes you more alive, and after each paragraph I yawn and stretch and shiver and feel things shifting.
Anyways, last night I was (re)reading a chapter about letting go. About how you can eat the best diet possibly and stretch and get acupuncture and otherwise take amazing care of yourself, but if you don’t let go, then it’s a lot less effective than eating junk and flowing.
This led to a long reminiscence about how before I met my husband, i didn’t flow. I let go of no emotion. And in the last four years I’ve gotten so much better at that. I can cry. In public. I can scream into pillows. In private. I can tell people I’m angry, at least sometimes.
And I went through the most beautiful forgiving ritual a few weeks ago, calling back all kinds of places and experiences I’d let freeze and die, so that I could flow and live again, in a way that’s really only a memory right now.
But one thing I couldn’t accept and this couldn’t forgive-release-receive, and that was a future me that I saw. She’s so unapologetically big. Loud. Fat. A woman of appetites and belly laughs. Sensual. Unconcerned with the world’s opinion of her.
I so want that and yet I so do not, hiding here in my perfect little cage of who I want to be seen as. Last night I realized I was choosing being seen as over aliveness. And that I felt sad about it, but a sadness that’s like when your muscle is frozen and you can see the knot and feel it with your fingers, but when you start to work on it, it can take a while, maybe minutes, before it’s even opened up enough to feel pain. So at the beginning you know there’s pain but can’t feel it. That’s how I’m sad. I see the space it’s taking up but I don’t feel it except sometimes as a little frustration.
So what is this worry about becoming so big and loud?
– “if I’m like that no one will love me.”
– “if I’m not needy and pleasing others, no one will ever validate me,”
– “I’ll hurt people who are sensitive and sweet, or still in the Matrix, and only get to be around loud coarse people who don’t care about stuff.”
– “I’ll be disgusting.”
What is the essence of this change?
– holding all of myself, which will make me so much less painful to be around, without spikes and feelers reaching out to everyone else.
– saying “I am” and “I exist” in whatever forms necessary, which has so far felt very clean and freeing
– the feeling I get of a benign unknown. One of many gifts from my time at The Playground – that there could be much I didn’t know and that could be good and right and not dangerous. Also the feeling known now as “cherry blossom walks.”
– kindness. The abrasiveness is a monster distortion. Because really this woman is kind. And free to act on that kindness because she’s free.
– The feminine. The felt rather than thought. The moving rather than fixed.
Much more to be explored here, later.
For now, how I want to meet her. In eight qualities.
North: trust
Northeast: gratitude
East: sweetness
Southeast: softness
South: passion
Southwest: protection
West: acceptance
Northwest: desire
<3 for all the beautiful wishes from everyone.
Just a thought… maybe that large loud person is an energetic being rather than a physical one? Large so she can, as you say, hold all of yourself. And loud because she speaks clearly.
I’ve known physically large persons whose energy didn’t fill up their physical shell — the shell was a barrier to protect a very small energetic being.
So many joy sparks here !!
I have dedicated this whore year to Foundation, and one of the first clews I received, late last year while I was setting things up: daily practice is a huge part of that, and exquisite well-tending is a daily practice.
Whole year, not whore year. Wow.
I was kind of liking whore year. I think I want one of those? <3 for exquisite well-tending
yes, let this be a Whore Year!
So many things I’m working on, you bring to this forum, even in th same dang words. It’s uncanny, and awesome!!
Once, long ago, the guy who is now the ‘Orrible Ex and I built a yurt. It was a long and laborious process and we totally went about it in all of the wrong ways but I remember one moment vividly, and that is when we had laced together all the khana pieces and put up the walls for the first time. That was all it was, walls, no roof ring or poles or anything, just walls. We put it up and lashed the pieces to each other and to the door frame and walked inside (bowing as we did, & being careful not to step on the threshold), and sat, and the energy, the swirling, moving energy, it was glorious.
My wish is to live in a space like that again, where the energy flows freely.
Mmmmmm. Hand-on-heart sigh for that experience, wow.
There are two round apartment buildings in my neighborhood. And they are very big! They have 19 sides. So not perfectly round. Close though. I hear they’re very ordinary inside. Bit disappointing.
BUT! The National Trust rents round houses!
The Water Tower: http://www.nationaltrustholidays.org.uk/holiday-cottage/the-water-tower-truro-cornwall/ and
The Round House: http://www.nationaltrustholidays.org.uk/holiday-cottage/the-water-tower-truro-cornwall/
I don’t know about your guy though. If he were here I would say to him: My house has corners, but it is in no way a “box.”
Haha! I think he meant more city life and apartments and rules, but yes, squares do not equal boxes! <3
And now I want to rent a water tower.
So! I was about to do a thing, and I paused and wondered if it was a smart thing, and then I remembered that it was the month to be Wildly Confident and Wonderfully Tranquil. It was clear to me that a Wildly Confident And Wonderfully Tranquil J’aime would do the thing and then be happy that she had. And I did the thing. Results pending, but I am thinking they will be good. 🙂 <3
Oooh! Wow. I feel INSPIRED reading this. <3
This week I wish to learn lots of good strategies to help me as I want more. When I started making these wishes, I forgot, somehow, that wanting can be an ache, frustrating, desolate even. This is why I was avoiding wanting in the first place. So, yes, I have to learn now. I accept that I am pretty much at the beginning. Luckily, I have lots of skills so I believe I can find what I need and get good at it. Mostly, asking the pain what it’s here for is what works. Then, I can take what I learn from listening to the answers, and feed it into my understanding of what I want. Also, with “play as risk and research” as a tool to apply, I can remember that I’m learning and that this takes time and it’s okay to change my mind about anything at any moment. So, I want to intentionally apply these insights and find more. There are so many reasons to avoid learning how to want. But that was boring and a spiritual dead-end and also a lie. So, this week I want to enjoy wanting.
Round house makes me think of “around the house”. Sometimes I walk around the house and pray protections for each side of the house. Sometimes I mentally walk around it and do same thing.
Sometimes I do things around the house. Sometimes I am just hanging around the house. And sometimes the Butler and my brothers help me with things around the house.
When I’ve been through a hard, I like to “wrap the house around me” and feel its shelter.
My wishes and gwishes for this week are simple and complex at the same time.
Some are health related.
I wish for quick results on the biopsy I just had and for the news to be Useful. I am remembering Wildly Confident and Wonderfully Tranquil and I can wait and not worry.
I wish for good health for my husband and my brother.
I want to not be in pain. I want to remember to do the things that will help.
I wish for good quality sleep.
Some are about travel:
MrB and I will be traveling and I wish for ease and comfort. When I made the arrangements, I had problems with the internet and had to call for help. Three different sets of services all had competent helpful people. I wish all the blessings on them, and I wish to find Helpful People Everywhere. Invoking that as a superpower.
I wish for comfortable beds and appropriate food and low humidity.
I wish for our plans to work out to our benefit — These or Something Better.
Some are related to current prrrojects
I wish for all of the ideas for P to come easily and be just what I need.
I wish to finish my on-line courses before the new ones start.
I wish for T to be at least as good as last time.
(I just experimented with what I thought I remembered about making things bold. If I remembered wrong, you’ll a weird character set with arrows, slashes, and the letter B. I wish for my memory of how to do that to be correct.
Well, that didn’t work — the arrows and slashes and Bs didn’t appear and the lines weren’t bolded. Phooey!
Wow, what wonderfully beautiful wishes!
If I were ready to wish seriously for my tree house, I would definitely wish for it to be round.
What I’m actually wishing for right now is for our cross-country road trip in September to be accomplished safely; for the three of us (and our weekend co-traveler) to stay healthy throughout; and for all the preparations and packing to go smoothly without unnecessary anxiety. Wildly Confident and Wonderfully Tranquil would be helpful for all of these.
To and from and into and poofing plumply out of the pot:
* enough sleep
* the right property at the right price with the right terms
* work-appropriate hike-around-town shoes
Warm wishes to all y’all.
What beautiful wishes! I’m really looking forward to seeing how this wish will take its form.
The round walled house divided into sections with veils reminds me a bit of the old-school circus tents. Not sure why that’s one of my first associations…
My wish this week is for emBODYment.
I realized it yesterday as I was lying on the beach, changing my body position into what felt the most comfortable and pleasurable in the moment.
All this time I’ve been working so hard and neglecting my body. I’ve been standing up from my desk after a long work day completely exhausted and with pains in my back and neck.
And this week I’m on a vacation, spending minimal time on screen, and I have all this time to feel present in my body – something I rarely do.
== What does this mean? ==
Asking my body for what SHE wants, and doing it.
Saying no to activities that my body wouldn’t enjoy.
Avoiding foods that my body has issues with.
Wearing clothes that is comfortable.
Dressing for my subjective perception of temperature, even if that means being the only person with long sleeves in the middle of summer.
Feeling good in my body while lying on the beach even though I may have more bodily hair sticking out of my skin than is socially acceptable.
This also means NOT taking away my attention from bodily discomfort by reading blogs and social media for hours.
Yesterday I’ve found myself reaching for my phone so many times, because my mind wanted entertainment, and on some occasions I gave in, and on others I’ve realized this is just compulsion, and chose to be centered in my quiet.
== Clues? ==
As I was reading this post yesterday, I realized I got a period.
Before that, I saw the word “FLO” on different social networks written by people continents apart.
Flo = flow.
Flow is a word I like. I use it in reference to creative flow and to the flow of money. Also the flow of my spiritual essence through the shell of my physical body, and filling it with vitality.
So I suppose going with the flow is how I am to find my way to full emBODYment.
Oh, what beautiful wishes. All of them.
Having some foundations crumbling over here, withe the Monster Kollektiv screaming about how now is just like all the other thens until I remind them that the other thens kept leading up and up into this now. Like watching a man playing with a yo-yo on an up escalator — you can watch the yo-yo bobbing up and down, or watch the man going up and up.
Then they change their tune and say that THIS now is totally different, that this NOW won’t lead to a better LATER, that everything really is FALLING APART, didn’t I get the MEMO???
And I breathe, and look at the calendar and remember my superpower of the month (Wildly Confident, Wonderfully Tranquil) and the plan of the month (Trust More).
I love your comment to the universe for giving you more opportunities for practice — Thank you, abundance and plenty — and I am going to add this to my mantras for the hard times.
Thank you, abundance and plenty.
What beautiful wishes! A dear friend of mine also uses the word “roundness” to imply lusciousness, and I just love that. I love the thought that a space can be round, and well-rounded, and luscious in its roundness.
I just recently passed through Oklahoma in my travels, and I stopped in a little town called Arcadia, which is home to the ROUND BARN. It’s an historic Route 66 landmark, and it’s just recently been restored to all its glory. The barn is absolutely huge, and round both in its footprint and its amazing domed ceiling. It’s entirely made of wood, and is a thing of beauty. There are two stories—downstairs is cluttered and gift-shop-museum-y, so you may want to skip that if that doesn’t fill you with joy, but there’s a staircase on the outside of the building that leads upstairs to the barn loft. And that room is gloriously empty, and enormous, and oh, so beautifully round. You can look up to the high ceiling and see the beams high overhead, and you can spin in place, arms wide, imagining all the compass points lighting up as you go. It’s such a wonderful space, and if you time it right, you can get there on a day when not many other people are around, and have some quality time alone in that round room. Anyway, I thought this might be a clue!
This is a MARVELOUS clue, thank you!
Hey hey, I don’t know if round house is still relevant for you, but I just encountered this: https://translate.google.com/translate?sl=auto&tl=en&u=http%3A//pixelizam.com/bolwoningen-okrugle-kuce-u-nizozemskoj/
They’re pretty ugly on the outside imho, but some of them look really nice on the inside!