Less doing, more being…
I’ve spent a lot of time over the past year and a bit pondering the transition from DOING to BEING, and how unbelievably challenging it is.
Especially from inside of a culture that celebrates the former and doesn’t really see the point of the latter.
So, in an attempt to bridge the gap between two aspects of me…
That is, we have workaholic-me who has been brainwashed by the Rigged Game, and wants to push-push-push to Do All The Things even though all evidence shows that the list will always expand at a faster rate than she can knock things off of it, and even trying to do half the things is a goal that is unachievable to the point of being laughable, and yet she keeps pushing.
And then, on the other end of the bridge, we have wise quiet me who treasures herself always, and unquestioningly chooses rest and body first — and actually often does get a surprising number of things done (usually through napping) but just doesn’t prioritize doing, she prioritizes being a clear bell and listening to yes…
What is the path between doing and being?
I have hypothesized a silly hypothesis.
Namely that the bridge between doing and being might be making.
Not making like producing, that’s a form of doing. I mean the kind of making that is more in the sense of, say, a really good sandwich. I could make a sandwich.
Making things comfortable? Making things congruent. Bringing things into harmony through making, for example, the bed.
The far-away boy and I have a list of things we might like to make. It’s the To-Make list.
At least until we can get to the point where there is only a To-Be List. And after that, no lists at all, because there is only ever one thing on that list anyway:
Take exquisite care of myself, because that is what is right, that is how I want to live and that is the door to being a clear conduit for my beautiful ringing bell-truth which is how I follow my yes.
In the meantime though, since I’m not there yet, let’s make stuff but not really make stuff. Like this…
Things on the To-Make List that we could we could make, in theory.
We could make…
- out
- out like bandits
- things up
- tracks
- love, not war
- up our minds
- a face
- a good guess
- up a cover story
- popcorn
- a great escape
- our way out of here
- sexy times
- lists (!!!)
- fun of things
- sense of things
- it all the way to the top
- a habit of this
- way for ducklings
- room to grow
- ourselves wildly happy
- it big (on BROADWAY!)
- someone smile
- a bit hullaballoo or, as we say in yiddish, a big tzimmes
- something into something else (alchemy!)
- me breakfast
It’s not a bad list.
I mean, it beats the hell out of a to-do list.
And I could probably play with one of the items on this list today, and see what I learn.
Or not, because the fun thing about this list is that I don’t have to do anything on it, which in a way makes it a lot like a to-be list, which is actually a not-list, because when you practice being there is nothing to do and nothing to try to be.
Nothing needs to be done in order to be.
That’s why it is so tricky. We have to let go of nearly everything we’ve been taught in life, the entire consciousness behind the mindset of trying, pushing, striving, reaching, making shit happen.
We have to find out what the opposite of that is like, and trust that it is not, as we have been told, giving up, but something entirely new and radiantly beautiful.
So come play….
In the meantime, while I’m undoing rigging by learning about not doing, let’s make some things up and add to the list. Anything you can think of that might go on the To Make list is welcome.
Or just make a sandwich. That works too.
As always, play requires safe space, so we refrain from caretaking and giving advice, we let people play how they want, we take care of ourselves, we meet ourselves and each other with warmth and grace to the best of our abilities.
♡
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I made a big lotta soup yesterday. Divine, lovely soup! Today I am making pretty things with seaglass & copper wire, which could be dangerously close to being Flawductive except for the amount of fun I’m having.
making things pretty! making pretty things!
Other things I can make:
— a big mess!
— much ado about nothing!
— time for tea
— excuses!
— my day
– a joyful noise!
– a big pile of cat fur (actually they handle that part pretty well on their own)
Make ’em laugh.
Oooh! I will make reservations! Perhaps I will also find someone who would like to make up with me. I’ve heard that sometimes kissing is involved.
Make piles.
Make friends.
Make a mistake.
Make toys for Monsters.
Make music.
Make cookies.
Ohh, this made me smile, like, all the way through.
It’s perfect. “Making” feels so much lighter and funner than “doing”, and also so much less daunting than “being”.
Here in Germany we often say goodbye with a “Mach’s gut!” – “Make it good!” It’s like “have a good one” only much better because making (more so than “having”) implies sovereignity, power, regardless-of-circumstances-ness.
🙂
Also, make waves! Make some noise! (I have loads of joyfully-disruptive energy these days.)
Make way, make space! (Panthers coming through!)
Make-believe!
(But certainly DON’T fake it till you make it. Just make it or don’t make it.)
Make it pop!
Also, I instantly thought of omake! (Japanese for “extra”; anime fans use it to describe things like special DVD, well, extras (Making-of) or non-canonical fics with characters behaving, well, out of character, or breaking the fourth wall. Wow. I could try making omake of some of the stories my monsters tell me! (What a way to make some waves!)
In the interest of making myself more internally congruent, today I removed the photos from 2 photo albums my mother assembled for me long ago. 1 photo album cover was hideous; the other emblazoned a name that I gave up. I threw the (empty) albums away. And immediately felt… lighter.
The time i’ve been spending in 2016 so far has mostly been writing only here & Tw (not my blog). I’ve been having really interesting thoughts and feelings. Turning myself into someone new. I like this process.
Thank you for this space.
This month of not-much-gardening work has given me the gift of time… I shall make a change, throw away the to-do list and make a new kind of list… So far on it is: make marmalade, make the house nice (so much better than ‘do the cleaning!), make time for yoga every day… Lovely plans have replaced looming burdens – thank you!
I can make someone laugh, but I Will Not make Fun of someone, DangIt!
Make coffee.
Make my body into the shape of a wheel. Or a scorpion. Or a puppy.
Make eyes at someone.
Make someone laugh.
Make plans with a friend I haven’t seen in ages.
Make the most of this day.
make tempests in teacups, make up new numbers for quantities of sparklepoints, make up collective nouns, make maps of imaginary places, make floor plans of imaginary houses. I like making sandwiches but I like to call them “sammiches, dammit” as in “I’m going to make the best tuna fish sammich, dammit” and sammiches are always cut diagonally instead of in half down the middle…
make a wish
make play-do
Make art! make time for art!
Make a bed. Make off with, make amends, make nice, make believe.
Make it up as you go along, the cousin of fake it til you make it.
I want to
make wishes
make music
make a blanket
make things easier
make right-for-me choices
make dinner
make me-time
make friends
make friends happy!
make space
and in the space that i make
perhaps i will discover
a making space
i wish to say a thing about this
but i cannot words so
*delighted flappyhands*
*flaps*
I love this!
<3